hey not 2 be That Gal but yall rly don’t make me feel good as a jewish hiv positive lesbian while bein into falsettos. i mean the antisemitism, serophobia, and homophobia is. A Lot.
this isn’t jus straight ppl, jus bc ur gay doesn’t excuse it! i don’t feel safe or feel like I Belong when i constantly see ppl erase these characters’ jewishness or dehumanize the most jewish looking character. it’s gross to not only erase their jewishness and/or play into antisemitic stereotypes, but to also expect jewish ppl to call them out and not sympathizing w how much emotional labor tht is.
it doesn’t feel good when i frequently see ppl use serophobic language or stereotypes! joking abt whizzer giving marvin aids, using serophobic language for Dramatic Effect, playing into the stereotype tht hiv positive ppl are sexual deviants is damaging as a hiv positive gay person.
tht post about whizzer’s flaw being tht hes sexually promiscuous had dozens of notes before ppl actually called out op for it. and there’s still ppl reblogging it uncritically and not seeing anything wrong w it! fetishizing marvin and whizzer, having bi hcs abt them is gross! iding as jewish hiv positive gay men when you’re not jewish and/or hiv positive? bad and disrespectful!
this musical revolves around jewish ppl. it has gay ppl, jewish ppl, hiv positive ppl as main characters and its for those kinds of people. yet yall make us do so much emotional labor and either don’t listen to us or make us feel like we’re overreacting. its beyond disrespectful and needs to change
madi’s narration of the 100 leaned on the category side of fairytales, such as embellishing the grounders and mt weather as “monsters” and calling the ark a “castle” even titling clarke as the “bravest and fairest” …
as if madi was describing clarke as a PRINCESS
*listens to the war at home, before bed, in the shower, right in the morning, on the bus, at midday, at the gym, before dinner, while watching tv, during dinner, with other people, after dinner, alone, while sleeping*
Remember sunday? When I told y’ala write a reader insert with a Black!Reader? Well, welcome to the party! I want to thank everyone who read Muñeca. I wasn’t expecting people to like it that much. This is dedicated, again, to everyone who thinks this kind of fic is discriminatory towards white people, specially @papi-chulo-bucky anon.
Bucky loved the peace and quiet of the Museum. Once he had been cleared to, at least, roam around the public areas of King T'Challas royal compound it had became one of his favorite places to go. No one payed any attention to him there or no one did, until the day she did.
He had heard her heels clicking on the marble floor first, determined and unwavering moving in his direction, until she stopped and cleared her throat, getting him to look at her. A small, pleasant smile etched on her face.
“Sergeant Barnes, is there something I can help you with?” Her voice is soft and clear, with a slightly raspy edge to it and he looks her up, taking in her appearance, her brown skin, dark eyes, her hair. “Not really. I just like the quiet of here” Bucky smiles “And the art is real pretty too” “Would you like to know about it?” She’s smiling at him, soft and sweet and Bucky reminds himself that it is part of her job and she probably doesn’t want to really do this. People normally stare at him or avoid him, he’s come to the conclusion that a 6'5" guy with a metal arm is not really an inviting sight. “I’d love that sweetheart, but I don’t wanna impose on you” He gets up, ready to leave. “You wouldn’t be imposing, Sergeant Barnes. Is my job and you seem genuinely interested in it” She takes a deep breath and Bucky’s eyes fall to her chest, the neckline of her dress is just low enough to show a tantalizing amount of her cleavage, without being unprofessional “Besides, I like talking about it and people keep telling me I have a nice voice” “You do have a nice voice, doll” Bucky is surprised when she giggles. “So is true. You really do the ‘doll’ thing” She laughs softly again and then takes another deep breath “I’m so sorry… Is just…” She trails off and then takes his right arm “You see… The girls? Oh, how they love that. They get all giggly when you call them that, I bet you were a hit back in the day with the ladies” she starts walking and Bucky is completely entranced by her and her voice and her energy. “Most of them just seem scared of me. Or my arm. Or what people say about me” “It is a bit intimidating, but that’s part of the attractive, too… I guess” She looks at him through the corner of her eye and see him smirking a little. Bucky chuckles lowly and she joins him, her laugh is melodious and he finds he wants to hear more of it.
When they stop in front of big painting she launches into it, talking about the artist and her life and from what part of Wakanda she is, and why and how she started painting, and Bucky listens to her. It had been so long since something caught his attention in such a way, he’s sure it is in part because of what she is saying and in part because he is under her spell. No wonder people like hearing her talk about art. He’s already thinking about coming back the next day, so she can keep showing him around, but it is getting late and he needs to head back. He’s got an appointment with the technicians that oversee his arm and Steve has been a real pain in the ass lately.
The next day he’s there and so is she. She’s smiles at seeing Bucky in front of the big painting of the day before and approaches him with that confident stride of her. “Sergeant Barnes” Just as the day before she takes his right arm “How are you today?” “Please, doll… Call me James or Bucky, I haven’t been Sergeant Barnes for a long time” “Ok, James. That is such a beautiful name. You look like a James” Her smile is more open today, not as professional as the day before and Bucky wants to ask her what does she mean when she says he looks like a James. “C'mon, doll. Is not as beautiful as you” She tilts her down bashfully and her smile turns timid, the compliment came out of his mouth before he even thought about it, like a reflex or a memory from a long time ago. He likes it, it feels good having that part of himself back, even if it is for brief moments.
It becomes their thing, he goes into the Museum almost on daily basis and she meets him there, walking through it and talking about art. But soon enough the conversation starts to shift from the art to their lives, Bucky often says that whatever she wants to know is all over the internet and she insists that’s not true, he always tries to change the subject.
One day instead of taking his right arm, she absentmindedly takes his left, Bucky goes stiff for a moment, then notices how she is distractedly tracing the plates on his boinic forearm, she has gone silent, just looking at the arm and tracing her fingers softly on it. Bucky looks at her and she looks back at him, biting her lip bashfully. “I’m so sorry, James. Is just… I had never seen your arm this close. Is beautiful” Bucky smirks and looks at her “I wouldn’t describe it as beautiful, you know? But you don’t have to apologize” “No” Taking a deep breath she starts talking again “I totally have to” Bucky chuckles humorlessly and the takes her face in his hands “Doll, is ok. Look, this arm is really out there you know? Is not easy to ignore, yet you’ve only showed curiosity over it after we, pretty much, covered every single art piece in this museum. So it doesn’t really bother me” He smiles softly and this time it does show in his eyes “And I just ran out of excuses to spend more time with you and I really wanna spend more time with you” “James” She whispers his name and Bucky looks around making sure there’s no one coming up or down the hall, then he dips his head down and kisses her softly on the lips. There’s a couple of seconds where she’s not really doing anything besides standing there, but when she does something is more than what Bucky was expecting. “Oh, fuck it” She mutters against his lips and kisses him back, her right hand grabbing his left forearm and the other hand going around his waist, is not rushed or frantic, is deep and needy and when they pull back she’s panting softly, with a small smirk on her lips “I was wondering if you were ever going to do that”
The moment his doorbell rings Bucky runs to it, opens it and drags her in. Kissing her hungrily and unapologetically, before kicking the door shut. “You hungry?” She just nods and kisses him again, her arms around his neck and she kicks her high heels off, standing on her tiptoes she tangles her hands in his hair and tugs, getting a moan out of him and she giggles. “I knew it” The little, self satisfied smirk she’s wearing after discovering he likes to get his hair pulled, turns into surprise when Bucky pushes her against a wall and places his hands at either side of her head, capturing her lips agains. Then, when Bucky tries to pull back she pulls him back in, pushing on her tip toes again. “Doll… I’m really trying to be a gentleman here” He smiles against her lips. “But I don’t want you to be a gentleman right now” Her hands make their way under his shirt and she feels his muscles moving softly under her fingers. “Are you sure, doll?” He pecks her lips and she chases after him, making Bucky chuckle. “Yes, I’m positive” She’s not even finished talking when Bucky is already lifting her from the ground by the backs of her thighs, her arms securing themselves around his neck. Lips locked together.
Bucky throws her softly on the bed and she bounces on it, a peel of laughter escaping her at his actions, he takes his shirt off pulling by the back of his neck and watches as she launches into action, taking her jacket and dress off in rapid succession, the contrast between her dark skin and her pastel colored underwear is one of the most beautiful things Bucky has ever seen, he circles her waist with his metal arm and pulls her to him, his right hand grasping the back of her neck and kissing her again, his tongue slipping inside of her mouth when she sighs. “You’re so beautiful” He’s got her face between his hands now “I’ve wanted you since the moment you walked up to me” He pushes her back on the bed, until she’s laying on her back and Bucky takes the sides of her underwear, pulling it down her legs and taking them off. Bucky kisses her leg, starting at her ankle and going up, until he reaches the inside of her thigh and bites down on it, making her moan out loud. “Do you like that, doll?” He does it again and her moan is louder “C'mon sweetheart, be a good girl and use your words” “Ugh… Yes, James. I like it” He bites down again, on her other thigh, and she mewls, now Bucky’s the one sporting a self satisfied smirk on his face. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, doll” He parts her lower lips and flicks his thumb over her clit and she squirms a little, Bucky throws his metal arm over her hips, keeping her down just before diving into her cunt and starting to suck and lick at her clit. He enters her with one long finger of his right hand, the sweetest sigh leaving her lips at his action. Bucky looks up to find her propped on her elbows, looking down at him with dark, wide eyes, he winks at her and she shakes her head. A broken moan is all she can mutters the moment he pushes a second finger in. Bucky starts pumping his fingers, curling them up, until he finds her g-spot, watching as she lets herself fall back down on the bed, moaning his name until she comes, panting and trembling in his arms.
When she opens her eyes Bucky is by her side, smiling down at her and caressing her belly “Doll” She tangles her hands on his hair and kisses him again, hard and deep, swinging her leg up and over his hips, straddling him and grinding against his length “Stop teasing” She licks her lips and takes his cock in her hand, guiding it to her entrance and pushing down on him, taking deep breaths while she gets used to the feel of him. Bucky grabs her hips, desperate to find something to anchor himself and not start fucking her at once. She starts rocking her hips softly, her hands on his chest and bites her plump bottom lip when Bucky’s right hand twitches on her hip, he growls at her, desperate for her to get a move on it. Little by little she starts to move faster and faster, a light sheen of sweat covers her skin, adding a soft shine to her soft body. She leans down and kisses Bucky, moaning into the kiss and biting his lower lip, making him groan. Then he grabs the back of her neck and there’s no letting her go back to her previous position, keeping her forehead to forehead with him. “Fuck… Doll, you feel so good” Bucky turns them over and lays her on her back, pushing her hands over her head and keeping them pinned there with his right hand at the same time that he starts thrusting his hips fast and hard, he tried. God, he tried to take it slow, but he knows he can’t. The need is too strong for that and her face is scrunched up in pleasure. Bucky flicks her clit and she cries out his name, her hips bucking desperately from the bed. He’s so close he can taste it but needs her to come first, he wants to see her once more. So gets to it, really gets to it, giving her clit small pinches and flicking it over and over again until she screams his name, hips bucking and legs trembling, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. Is just in that moment that James lets himself go, coming with his face buried in her neck, teeth biting down on her shoulder, hard enough to leave teeth shaped bruises. He stays on top of her a few moments, before rolling over and pulling her to his side, kissing her forehead. “Doll… I had invited you to dinner” His laugh sounds sincere, even to himself. “We can still eat. But you have bring the food here, because I don’t think I can walk right now”
Thank you for the portion of Adam and Caleb talking about past things and where they are now as themselves and with each other. I identify with Caleb a lot, but I saw myself in Adam in the specific portion of the episode. Thank you Lauren, Alex, and Briggon <3
I am so glad you connected with this; not in the fact that you may have had and/or still have struggles and pain akin to what Adam and Caleb talked out…but I’m just glad we were able to tackle something so difficult to talk about and have you and others feel something meaningful from it; it’s a big part of why we do this show…certainly at least for me. We talk about these things because they deserve to be talked about.
During the recording of that part of episode 40…Alex was heartbreaking and fucking beautiful. …Here I have one of my best friends, playing a person I really care about (both mine and Caleb’s POV), and offering me a depth of vulnerability that is totally humbling to be awash with; I was floored by the work he did in that scene.
It’s all about connection and empathy right? We make art and tell stories to reach out and grab hold of someone in the hopes they’ll feel it too and reach right back or out to someone else. So, I see a message like this one and I want to say…I see you…and I’m grateful that this meant something to you.
ABOVE: A bts shot on my phone of Lauren walking me and Alex through it. …and BELOW: One of me and Phillip (Frank) working through that early scene in the episode. Phillip was a total rock for me during all of that.