listen up fives a ten is speaking

Thanksgiving can majorly suck. 

So I want to spread my love for those people all over the world that make my life better. And here I am, being  E X T R A  as fuck, sending out a lot of love from my little slice of heaven tonight. Sadly, I can’t include my pie with this. 

These are the PEOPLE that make my life better && i am thankful for && such.

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10

bucky’s trigger words + the thirteen letters, by dropdead-dream and whatarefears

  • Josie: Listen up fives, a ten is speaking.
  • Archie: ...
  • Betty: ...
  • Veronica: ...
  • Josie: Cheryl, can we talk, one ten to another?
  • Cheryl: Actually, I'm an eleven, but go on...
Shakespeare Characters Saying 30 Rock quotes

Macbeth: Your boos are not scaring me. I know most of you are not ghosts.

 Friar Laurence: Science is my most favourite subject, especially the Old Testament.

 Lady Macbeth: There’s only three things standing between you and winning: your breasts, and wanting it bad enough.

 Ariel: I don’t think it’s fair for me to be on a jury because I’m a hologram.

 Mercutio: Tell her you want to donate her body to science and you’re science.

 Richard II: There is no problem in this world that can’t be solved by throwing money at it.

 Henry V: When you’re handsome nobody ever tells you the truth. For years I thought I spoke excellent French.

 Olivia: Listen up, fives. A ten is speaking.

 Timon: Goodbye forever, you factory reject dildos.

“Listen up, fives, a ten is speaking.”

-Tom Holland.

Man, so my mom and dad went to a scotch-tasting the other day, and my dad’s a big fan of scotch, but my mom is, like, on another level. Laphroaig is her baseline, and that stuff is intense. Guests who put ice in their scotch are side-eyed for the duration of their stay. My parents spent a milestone anniversary doing a scotch-tasting tour on Islay, mostly because it was her favorite thing and my dad thought it would be fun as well. She knows a whole lot about scotch, is what I’m saying.

So when they got to this tasting, my very shy and soft-spoken parents were all excited to actually get into some good good scotch-talk. My mom found a scotch she actually really appreciated and went to go talk to the guy running the tasting about how it was made… and he completely blew her off. Again and again, one-word answers to her questions… and then he’d turn to chat with the guys. At one point, she even asked a question, and the guy turned to my dad and said, “That’s a great question–” and answered as though he’d been the one to ask it! My mom was so crestfallen when she told me about it that conflict-averse me wanted to hop the next plane out there to give the dude a piece of my mind.

A good friend was also just invited recently to give a panel talk at a conference. She’s a full professor and dean and widely recognized as a dang important voice in the field. She also could not get a word in edgewise, because the other two panelists were incredibly voluble and talkative dudes (both of whom she’s known and been friends with for decades) who just talked to each other and completely ignored her. She went to talk to one of them about it afterwards, and he cut her off (!) before she could say anything with, “Yeah, I know, I’m so sorry that happened, I could see that we were really talking over you.” And she just sort of stared at him, and he nodded proudly like that was the end of the conversation and wandered off. Like, yeah, dude, you noticed it and did nothing else. There’s a second step, there.

She also mentioned that the male professor in her research group’s meetings has started completely dominating the conversation, to the point where he just gets into arguments with the male graduate students and she and her female graduate student raise their eyebrows at each other over the table for an hour. I told her about how my office would often discuss things prior to our research group meetings and have a bunch of cool ideas floated around more-or-less evenly by everyone, and then at the actual meeting the women would never get to present their ideas, or the guys would straight-up present them as though they’d been their ideas all along.

I saw a talk the other day from a huge name in the field, and for the first time I wasn’t even slightly overawed by the confident, funny, badass sort of attitude he had about presenting his controversial academic opinions. Instead, I felt like I was watching a 12-year-old gradually whispering bad words louder and louder and giggling raucously at the prospect of being caught. I felt like I was seeing a reddit thread or something that presented the most pedestrian opinions and ended with “I know I’m going to get downvoted for this, but it was worth it!” It was the most childish, transparently confrontational way of framing a talk, and of course it worked, of course it worked, and of course the dozen or so questions he got at the end all came from dudes. Several attendees (all women) walked out, and I’m sure he thought it was because his opinions were so controversial, and not because it was painfully obvious he maybe should’ve written that talk with both hands on the keyboard, you know?

Like, the onus is always put on women to be more assertive and louder, but damn, dude, it was painfully apparent even to eight-year-old me who heard “speak up!” ten times a day that some of the people who weren’t listening to me when I was quiet wouldn’t magically care about what I was saying if I were talking louder. Like, let’s maybe get to the root of the problem and teach these dudes to reflect on what’s being said instead of miring themselves in easily resolved misunderstandings just because it makes them feel good to be loud, just because they like the adrenaline rush? Count to five before jumping in? Go through the “does this need to be said? does this need to be said by me? does this need to be said by me right now?” checklist? Consciously listen when other people talk instead of seeing it as a convenient time to mentally construct their next argument?

It’s frustrating, is all. Real irritating.