list of wonderful women

8

an endless list of wonderful women: gemma chan
“Growing up, I never saw any Asian faces on TV, so [acting] didn’t feel like a viable option. I’ve been fortunate in my career, but, yes, there have been many times when I have been told my audition has been cancelled because they’re only going to see white people. The statistics are depressing. I remember reading some that made me think, ‘Oh, you are more likely to see an alien in a Hollywood film than an Asian woman.’”

another list of reasons why wonder woman was simply epic, wonderful, and poignant:

  • badass women of all ages fighting, like shit they made the fighting look like dancing it was so effortless
  • the first fight scene was a poignant reminder of the evil of guns. especially when combating against a powerful force that unfortunately do not possess guns
  • a mother who fiercely loves her daughter, but does not cage her in and respects her decisions
  • “men are important for procreation, but when it comes to pleasures…”
  • the love interest, the male love interest, is so warm and good. i know those are such simple words, but they fit him so well. you come to love him so much as a character
  • acknowledgement of what happened to the native americans.  “who took your peoples’ land?” “his people”
  • also acknowledgment of the inequalities of poc and women at the time
  • a reminder of how soldiers miss out on life “normal people get married, have babies, and grow old together” “what is that like” “…i don’t know
  • the love scene was entirely controlled by the woman
  • the lessons taken out of this movie: god or no god, we make the choices that define us, humans are both dark and light and to say differently is not allowing them to be truly human, love will always be the true weapon against hate and war, being kind and good are not weaknesses but are exactly what makes a person strong
8

an endless list of wonderful women: gal gadot
“When I choose a role, I always think about whether my daughter can get something out of it when she watches the movie later after she’s grown up. Or even just show her that Mommy’s doing what Mommy loves to do. And therefore, she can do what she loves to do and have a family at the same time. As long as you have your priorities figured out in a healthy way.”

8

an endless list of wonderful women: dua lipa
“It’s just important to me to be proud of who you are. Always stand by it. ‘Blow Your Mind’, for example, is about being proud of who you are and not really listening to anyone who wants to try and change you or put you in a certain box or criteria. Or how you should look, or how you should dress, or how you should act because society tells you to. It’s just a big ‘fuck you’, basically.”

5 things tag

❤  I was tagged by my friend @littlenerdyemopeanut and my mutual @honeybadgersrock (who should totally come and talk to me!!)  ❤

5 things you’ll find in my bag:
Old receipts
Lip balm
Various medicines
Water
Notebook
5 things you’ll find in my bedroom:
Lots of books
Art stuff like pens and ribbon and paint
Clothes – too many
CDs
Me (always)
5 things that make me happy:
Music
YouTube
Online friends <3
Orang-utans
Harry Potter
5 things I’m currently into:
Lord of the Rings (so damn good)
Halsey
Tumblr – send help, I’m obsessed
Crazy eye makeup
Crankthatfrank (emo dad)
5 things on my to-do list:
Art and textiles prep work for college
Watch Wonder Women – hopefully next week
Text my friend
Practise piano
And guitar too (I’m lazy)
5 things people may not know about me:
My birthday is January 12th
I have an older brother
I want to be a costume designer
I took dance lessons for 14 years
I love carrots

I tag my friends @killjoywithapen13 @gerardstolemycookie @poppunklullaby @blackpoisonkilljoy and @crystalisprincess

8

an endless list of wonderful women: emeraude toubia
“I was like maybe I’m not good. There’s a thousand girls out there who are better than me, and prettier than me. And they have more training than I do.’ This role that they gave me is a white girl, it was never meant for it to be a Latina. They did a worldwide casting. They had girls from London, from all over the world, and they chose a Latina to take the role of Isabelle Lightwood!”

nytimes.com
How We Write About Love

By: Daniel Jones, NY Times

A few months ago, I read several articles touting the health benefits of writing in a deeply personal way. Studies had shown that writing introspectively on a regular basis can lead to lowered blood pressure, improved liver function and even the accelerated healing of postoperative wounds. The study’s subjects had been told to write for short periods each day about turbulent emotional experiences.

I bet a lot of them wrote about love. As the editor of this column, I have spent much of the last decade reading stories of people’s turbulent emotional experiences. They all involved love in one way or another.

Which isn’t so surprising. Who hasn’t been stirred up by love? But these writers had spun their experiences into stories and sent them here, where more than 99 percent must be turned away.

Although the would-be contributors may be happy to learn of the surprising health benefits of their writing, I think they hoped for a more glamorous reward than improved liver function.

Lately I have been thinking about those tens of thousands of passed-over stories and all the questions and lessons about love they represent. When taken together, what does all this writing reveal about us, or about love? Here’s what I have found.

First, and most basic: How we write about love depends on how old we are.

The young overwhelmingly write with a mixture of anxiety and hope. Their stories ask: What is it going to be for me?

Those in midlife are more often driven to their keyboards by feelings of malaise and disillusionment. Their stories ask: Is this really what it is for me?

And older people almost always write from a place of appreciation, regardless of how difficult things may be. Their message: All things considered, I feel pretty lucky.

In writing about love, the story of how we met looms large because a lot of us believe, validly or not, that a good meeting story bodes well for the relationship.

What do we consider to be a good meeting story? When it involves chance more than effort. You get bonus points if the chance encounter suggests compatibility, like mistakenly wheeling off with each other’s shopping carts at Whole Foods because your items had so much overlap, you got the carts mixed up.

“I get those beets all the time!” “You like Erewhon Supergrains, too?”

Pretty soon it’s time to get a room.

It seems the harder we work at finding love, the more prone we are to second-guessing the results. High-volume online daters worry about this, along with those who routinely attend singles events.

Continue reading the main story
The fear is we may force things or compromise after pushing so hard for so long. We may admire hard work in most endeavors, but we admire laziness when it comes to finding love. (If you manage to stay together over the long haul, however, it will be because of effort, not chance.)

When some people write about love, they can’t find the right words to capture the intensity of their feelings, so they rely on stock terms that are best avoided. These include (but are not limited to): amazing, gorgeous, devastating, crushed, smitten, soul mate and electrifying.

Popular phrases include: “meet cute,” “heart pounded,” “heart melted,” “I’ll always remember,” “I’ll never forget” and “Reader, I married him.” Then there is everyone’s favorite stock word regardless of subject: literally. As in, “our date was literally electrifying.”

Women and men may feel love similarly, but they write about it differently.

A lot of men’s stories seem tinged by regret and nostalgia. They wish previous relationships hadn’t ended or romantic opportunities hadn’t slipped away. They lament not having been more emotionally open with lovers, wives, parents and children.

Women are more inclined to write with restlessness. They want to figure love out. Many keep mental lists of their expectations, detailing the characteristics of their hoped-for partner with alarming specificity and then evaluating how a new romantic interest does or doesn’t match that type.

They write something like, “I always pictured myself with someone taller, a guy with cropped brown hair and wire-rim glasses who wears khakis or jeans, the kind of person who would bring me tea in bed and read the Sunday paper with me on the couch.”

Men almost never describe the characteristics of their ideal partner in this way. Even if they have a specific picture in mind, few will put that vision to paper. I wonder if they’re embarrassed to.

Another list women frequently pull together is “The List of Flawed Men,” in which they dismiss each man they have gone out with over the last year with a single phrase. There was the slob with the sideburns, the med student who smoked too much pot, the gentle Texan who made felt hats but couldn’t commit, and the physically affectionate finance guy who always dropped her hand when he saw his friends.

This series of bad encounters has left them exasperated to the point of hopelessness, so they try to see the humor in it.

Men rarely compose that kind of list, either. In this case, I wonder if it’s because they’re afraid to, not wanting to be seen as belittling women. In general, men write more cautiously about women than the other way around.

Love stories are full of romantic delusion, idealizing love to an unhealthy degree. But in the accounts I see, men and women delude themselves in opposite directions.

A woman is more likely to believe her romantic ideal awaits somewhere in the future, where her long-held fantasy becomes a flesh-and-blood reality.

A man’s romantic ideal typically exists somewhere in the past in the form of an actual person he loved but let go of, or who got away. And he keeps going back to her in his mind, and probably also on Facebook and Instagram, thinking, “What if?”

I don’t know if men are worse than women when it comes to romantic rejection; they are clearly worse when it comes to literary rejection. Even though only 20 percent of submissions come from men, they send more than 90 percent of the angry emails I receive in response to being turned down. To these men, no does not mean no. No means the start of an inquiry as to how this possibly could have happened.

One man sneered at me: “You didn’t even read it, dude.”

To which I replied, sincerely: “Dude, I totally did.”

Writing about love can be similar to falling in love in that we must be as vulnerable on the page as we are in person when revealing ourselves to someone we hope will love us back. That means exposing our flaws and weaknesses and trusting we will be seen as more appealing, not less, for having done so.

Good writing about love features the same virtues that define a good relationship: honesty, generosity, open-mindedness, curiosity, humor and self-deprecation. Bad writing about love suffers from the same flaws that define a bad relationship: dishonesty, withholding, defensiveness, blame, pettiness and egotism.

It has been remarkable to watch the evolution in stories I have received from gay and lesbian writers. A decade ago, their stories focused on issues of marginalization, identity, coming out, and of strains with family members. Within a few years, their focus had turned overtly political in the fight for equality and marriage.

Today, gay writers have largely shed that baggage. They write about looking for love, marrying, starting a family, being a parent, even getting divorced. Sexual orientation that had once been central is now incidental. Which seems like a nice change.

With Valentine’s Day near and the right words about love always so hard to find, let me close by simply wishing you an amazing celebration of electrifying romance you never forget and always remember.

8

an endless list of wonderful women: viola davis
“I believe that the privilege of a lifetime is being who you are, truly being who you are. And I’ve spent far too long apologizing for that — my age, my color, my lack of classical beauty — that now…I’m very proud to be Viola Davis, for whatever it’s worth.”

To my Patrick Kane family

If you have stumbled upon this and you do not consider yourself a supporter of Patrick, have a wonderful weekend and take care of yourself but feel free to move along as this won’t concern you.

*************************************************

*claps hands together and cups them around mouth*

Gather round my Patrick Kane children.

This has been a huge couple of weeks for our young Patrick with the ten game win streak, his ASG captaincy, and last night’s hat trick. He is showing the world what we’ve already known - that he is one of the, if not the, most elite athletes in the world and greatest NHL players to touch the ice.

So while it is disappointing and somewhat infuriating, it is hardly surprising that some individuals who consider themselves to be anti-Kane have timed their increased attacks here recently with that increased success.

Let me be very clear - I am not referring to everyone who dislikes Patrick. Most are mature and able to go about their lives disliking him and leaving others who like him alone. They accept, as do we, that there is nothing to gain from constantly disrespecting and attacking each other.

I am referring to a very small group of rude, disrespectful, and immature people who cannot make a distinction between disliking a player and attacking people who support him on a personal level. So I urge you not to judge the entire world of people who don’t like Patrick based on the small group of “brave” tumblr users who hide behind anonymity to bully others.

It is clear that this group will not stop any time soon. Every time something bad happens in the NHL, it will somehow be Patrick’s fault. Every time someone in professional sports mishandles a situation, the Kane press conference will get pulled back in. These folks are salivating, just waiting for a time when someone can be victimized so that they can use it as a way to bring up their narrative about Patrick again. That’s horrifying to me. But it doesn’t matter that Patrick was innocent, never charged, and that the girl made false accusations - they will never not believe their own narrative. So we need to settle in and accept it. As unfair and infuriating as it is, fighting over it will never change them and it will just exhaust us.

Watch and be prepared for the oh-so-obvious pattern instead. Patrick does something great - the next day they will post terrible things. Think of post ASG announcement. Or, something bad happens - Evander Kane or chucky. Patrick had zero to do with either of those but suddenly he is tied into both. When you see the pattern, you can almost step back and laugh at it because it’s so obvious.

Coincidentally, pay special attention to the complete thing you re blog on Chucky. There are some great posts. But there are also some that weave in anti-Kane sentiment. Post what feels right for you but just be aware of that ploy too – to hide anti-Kane sentiments in long seemingly positive posts about chucky.

And then today, after Patrick scores his first career hat trick and John McD makes his first public statements about Patrick since training camp - all supportive and awesome by the way – I awaken to find I, and many wonderful kind pro-women people, am on a “list” of rape apologist Patrick Kane supporters.

My advice – don’t seek it out, don’t look at it, don’t defend anyone on it, don’t engage at all. Pretend it doesn’t exist. It merely demonstrates the level of desperate and immature that this particular anti-Kane group has sunk to and I don’t want to give it any more acknowledgment than that. Period.

Taking the high road sucks. It is hard to stand by and watch hurtful things be said about Patrick and people you follow or even about you. I know. It’s not fair and it’s not right. But we need to stay better than the behavior shoved at us. We need to be above this mindless disrespectful hatred and hurt. We need to demonstrate the behavior that Patrick has shown since the news broke – be above the fray, support the people we care about and let them support us, and go on about our lives kicking ass and taking names.

Be here for each other, continue to support Patrick and each other, and stay focused on making this a safe and happy place for us and others to come and talk about that little ball of sunshine that is blowing up the NHL.

Just my two cents …