Coming out safely

All the stories of when people realized they were bi naturally led to questions from people who now know they are bi, but have not come out yet. So here is a summary answer.

It depends on how old you are and where you live, and how biphobic your parents are. You may have good reason to be scared, if you live in a very prejudiced part of the country, are still a teen, and your parents are biphobic, as this young man found out. Although people stepped in to help that young man, imagine if no one had. Forty% of homeless youth are LGBT. If you are under 18 and your parents are very prejudiced, I would wait until you are living on your own and supporting yourself to come out to them. This is especially true if you are also likely to be bullied in school because of it - no one has to be a hero. Just try to go to a queer-friendly college, or make sure you get some solid vocational training. When you grow up with people who don’t accept something so basic to who you are, it’s understandable that you might want to act out in self-destructive ways, but try to channel that anger into getting free instead. And being able to support yourself is TRUE freedom.

If your parents won’t assault you/throw you out, and you won’t be bullied at school, but people will just say the usual Bi 101 annoying stuff (over and over and over) when you come out, prepare yourself. Read up on the truth on bisexuality on BiNET USA, BRC, and here. Many people are just ignorant. When they say something like, “Oh, but I thought bisexuality was just a phase!” swallow your anger, and politely say “Why no, actually, a researcher by the name of Lisa Diamond studied bisexuals and showed that it is a stable sexual orientation.” IRL, most of the time, people say, “Oh, I didn’t know that,” and then they are fine, and you are friends. In the more progressive parts of the country, most people are not that hateful. About half of gays and Lesbians won’t DATE a bisexual, so a gay bar can be difficult, but that’s another blog.
The Scientific Quest to Prove Bisexuality Exists

How a new breed of activists is using science to show — once and for all — that someone can be truly attracted to both a man and a woman.

This article is an absolute must-read about the American Institute of Bisexuality and the important work it does funding academic scientific research of bisexuality that is respectful and well-thought-out.
Autostraddle — Lisa Diamond Calls Out Boehner’s DOMA Team For F*cking With Her Shit

Yesterday, Lisa Diamond filed an affadavit to complain that her work was being distorted. Diamond, an associate professor of developmental psychology at the University of Utah, says her areas of specialty “include the nature and development of affectional bonds and the nature and development of same-sex sexuality.”

Lisa Diamond is one of my psychology heros, and it is my goal to meet her before I leave Utah.  

@misslisadiamond: 1st day back in the gym and starting eating clean today!! Loved the holidays and Allllll the food!! But I’m starting back today, stopped thanksgiving my eating clean and going to the gym. So here’s to 2013!!! #nationals #NPC #npcbikini

Girls learn from an early age that only ‘slutty’ women want a lot of sex, whereas 'good’ girls are supposed to serve as gatekeepers for men’s uncontrollable desires. Such messages inevitably shape girls’ understanding of their sexuality and lead them to discount their own experiences of sexual arousal. This might be why adult women are often totally unaware of changes in their own physiological states of sexual arousal, and why low sexual desire is the single most common form of sexual dysfunction in American women. Girls internalize cultural and social factors, which then shape their experiences of sexuality at a deep level.Lisa Diamond

Oh slut-shaming. Will you ever go away?
Hottest Women in Hip Hop
Ever since a 14-year-old Roxanne Shante first started rapping in 1984, females have been heavily involved in the culture. Throughout the years, there have been a slew of sexy women who could also spit hard lyrics with the best of them. For this list, I factored in many things.
Sexual Fluidity: The Lisa Diamond Interview

Troy Williams: My first same-sex experience was with a guy from Spain.  I had no doubt he was straight, but we always made the comment, “well, he’s European…”

Lisa Diamond: Historically, cases like that have always emerged in the empirical and popular literature.  The strategy researchers have taken is to say there are one of two things going on: either he is gay and just in denial or he’s really straight and just completely confused.  But either way, no one was interested in studying that person as an example of the phenomenon of sexuality and sexual orientation.  When these folks showed up in research samples, they’d be deleted. No one was interested in explaining them.  It was noise in the data.

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On this day in music history: June 20, 1987 - “Diamonds” by Herb Alpert (Featuring Janet Jackson & Lisa Keith) hits #1 on the Billboard R&B singles chart for 2 weeks, topping the Club Play chart for 2 weeks, also peaking at #5 on the Hot 100 on the same date. Written and produced by Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, it is the biggest R&B hit for the veteran trumpet player from Los Angeles, CA. Right on the heels of the production teams success with Janet Jackson’s “Control” album, producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis will be asked to produce an album for the co-founder of A&M Records. Jam & Lewis will come up with the track for “Diamonds” while they are working with The Human League on their album “Crash”. Setting the track aside when they feel it isn’t right for the UK synthpop band, the producers will play the track for Janet Jackson while she’s in Minneapolis working with them on the remixed video version of “Control”. Excited by what she hears, Janet will lay down her vocals during the session, also singing background vocals with Flyte Tyme artist/vocalist Lisa Keith. Jimmy and Terry will then play the track for Alpert, who immediately loves it and overdubs his horn parts onto the song. Issued as second single from Alpert’s twenty eighth studio album “Keep Your Eye On Me”, “Diamonds” will be Alpert’s second single to make the Top 10 on the R&B singles chart (after “Rise” (#4 R&B) in 1979) and his only number one single on that chart.

As you’ll discover in The Diamond from Within, you can use the obstacles you face on your journey to shape and mold you to become a better person, at least if you are willing to learn the lessons.