Talks Machina (Episode 88 spoilers!)

Highlights from this week’s episode:

  • This week’s pre-show message from Denise: “Brian is a puppet and I’m pulling the strings.”
  • Overwatch mention! Brian shout-outs D.Va, Marisha’s all about Symmetra, Matt breaks out the McCree voice.
  • 1PM Saturday, much of CR will be playing Mansions of Madness on the stream, and Matt will be guesting on a show at 11AM as well.
  • Brian: Our special guest, Gil Ramirez. Marisha: (whispers) Don’t fuck us, Gil.
  • Gil was helping out in the twitch chat from episode one. He’s also been smithing for sixteen years!
  • Gil uses liquid mercury to balance his steel dice. Travis: …you just have liquid mercury hanging around?
  • Gil and Taliesin both have a periodic table collection.
  • Gil takes off his button-down to reveal a t-shirt that just reads “Don’t fuck me, Gil.” with “Dammit Gil!” on the back.
  • Gil pulls out cards that read “Malks Tachina” that are all sick burns on Brian.
  • 4:46:50 total gameplay time last week. VM had 936 total HP at the start of the kraken battle, ended with 70 total HP.
  • A fan points out the similarities between the kraken fight and the Kobayashi Maru in Star Trek–an unwinnable fight to see how you do under great pressure. Marisha points out that nobody is expected to do the Aramente alone, but they’re never told that explicitly, so Keyleth’s been figuring that out, and that was one of the big lessons here. When she decided to planeshift out, she had to trust that Grog was going to finish it without her. She’s been moving beyond her previous urge to be self-sacrificial.
  • Matt points out that if Keyleth had stayed, Grog probably would’ve stayed until the end, too, and things would’ve gone a lot worse.
  • Matt wasn’t playing the kraken to full intelligence (his argument being that the rules-as-written version is better suited to being a full-arc villain kind of deal), but if they’d decided to talk to it, it probably would’ve stalled long enough to get everyone exactly where it wanted them.
  • Travis on Tary not using Luck to reroll: Either he is the most genius, maniacal character in a long-running arc… or he just rolled shitty dice because Gil fucked him.
  • Keyleth would’ve rather failed the Aramente than kill the kraken or lose her party.
  • A question on screen flashes twice. Laura (who isn’t even on the show this week) immediately tweets “Two flashes!! Free Denise.”
  • Grog was trying to abide by Keyleth’s rules of not killing the thing, but his whole priority was getting Vax out, because he realized that not getting him out while he was unconscious might’ve meant losing his body for good. Matt points out that it worked out well that it was always Grog getting eaten, because he was more likely than most of the other party members to deal enough damage to get out.
  • Why didn’t the water ashari let Korren and Keyleth know Vilya was suspected dead? Matt starts to answer, then admits it’s mostly just to maintain narrative drama, because that’s how storytelling works.
  • Gil wonders whether one of the lodestones could be Keyleth’s mom. Marisha: …my mom is octopoo?
  • Grog’s decision on leaving Tary mostly boiled down to “…eh.” Grog didn’t mind too much that Percy made him go back for Tary, because he didn’t feel too strongly about leaving him behind, but there might be consequences once Friends wears off.
  • Keyleth would’ve definitely still planeshifted out if Grog and Vax’s positions had been reversed. She trusted that Vax would’ve managed to get out, too.
  • Travis’ wise words on the Raven Queen: “Didn’t she need the blood jacuzzi to get the thing going?”
  • Travis thinks Grog would be interested in participating in Vax’s ritual.
  • Travis was stoked for Vax to join the Dead Club, but he has no idea how it’s going to go because of the Raven Queen.
  • Matt re: people yelling about revivify/resurrection no matter the outcome: “I… mostly don’t care. I’m still a sensitive boy.”
  • Brian brings back the intro to the first episode, in which Matt points out that this is the continuation of a home-game and number-crunching shouldn’t be the priority. Of course, Critrolestats is an exception: “They keep track of the numbers we like.”
  • Brian: “Discussions are great, and we love talking about the show even if we disagree… but when it gets to be this weird thing where people are… it’s like, guys, you’re kind of embarrassing yourself. Like, give me a break, dad. Maybe intense scrutiny of a D&D game that’s on the internet isn’t the best way to live your life.”
  • Travis: “I’ll never go on [reddit]. It requires reading, right?”
  • Matt thinks the kraken was probably watching the party for a while, and then Tary’s natural one was a focus point. If they hadn’t failed that challenge, they might’ve had to fight it as they were escaping.
  • The one spell Marisha forgot to write down on her spell sheet was Freedom of Movement, which would’ve been incredibly clutch in the fight. Matt forgot about it, too.
  • Matt points out that everyone had an extremely stressful week leading up to that episode. Brian mentions that he’s known everyone for a while, now, and they all generally act the same on-screen as they do off-screen, so they’re not gonna be putting on an act. Sometimes you just get a bit of a slog playing D&D when everyone’s exhausted, but it can still be fun as long as people aren’t going over every decision with a magnifying glass.

After dark:

  • The first shot after the break is just a close-up of Trinket.
  • Matt to Travis, in one of the best out-of-context quotes thus far: “So what you’re saying is that your deviantart is full of vore?”
  • If Grog had an intelligence of 20 for 24 hours, he’d probably go down to Percy’s workshop and build something.
  • Matt ran a session pre-stream that was just Pike and Vax, in which the two of them had to fight a chimera. There was also one that was just Vax, Scanlan, and Pike.
  • If Grog had been left behind and died, Ashley thinks Pike would’ve pulled a Scanlan and left the party, then would’ve gone to go live under the sea until she found him, and would’ve kept his body until she got True Resurrection, “even if it took a hundred years”, so she could bring him back.
  • Matt re: Keyleth being the only one who hasn’t died: “No, there’s a reason for that. Because she’s my fiancee and I give her special treatment.” Marisha: “Don’t say that even in jest!” Matt: “No, if that were true, I wouldn’t sleep on the couch as often.” Marisha: “They’ll believe that, too! They’ll actually think that’s true!”
  • Ten or higher on that saving throw and Grog would’ve died in the kraken. Matt rolled a nine (which is why he tweeted the picture).
  • Marisha’s biggest fear re: ways for her character to die was tripping and falling in lava, which just about happened, so almost anything else would’ve been okay in comparison. Brian: “Keyleth died doing what she loved: a series of errors.” Marisha: “Failing.”
  • Travis’s Xbox gamertag is MeatyAlbatross.

anonymous asked:

Under TV tropes as a model here, in your time playing D&D, as a PC or DM, what is the scariest, most tearjerking, most heartwarming, funniest and most awesome moment you can think of?

Saddle up your dragons and get ready, because I have plenty of very long stories to tell. The others are coming in a separate post, when my wrists aren’t killing me because of tendonitis. They might be a tiny bit embellished here and there, but all good stories are.

Scariest and Most Awesome Moment: Becoming a God

I had played Basalt for a rather long campaign. It had ended, but our DM had gotten a brilliant idea: to go back to an earlier age of the same campaign and run a game in the same world. Ultimately, our party’s fate in this new campaign would tie into the elaborate worldbuilding we had co-built for the first campaign. Time passed and we had a lot of fun with the campaign, and were fast approaching the endgame. 

Our characters became very detailed and elaborate, and the twist of the campaign shouldn’t have been a surprise to me, but it was. Before I get to that, I want to mention the characters themselves a bit more:

 Falx Cenzer was our battlemaster. He was a man of the people and a hero of the common folk. His ambition was unmatched, and he wanted to change the world for better. Falx’s greatest fear was time. He feared he was always wasting it, that there would never be enough of it to do what he needed to do. His smile could always put a room at ease. 

Garener was our necromancer. They were a healer of the mind, a gentle soul who spoke to the dead to help the living accept their grief. Garener saw no use in fixing such a temporary and immeasurably small world, nor in discovering its secrets. They believed that our lives had no meaning except what we made of them. Beneath their philosophy and magic, Garener was terrified of death.

Inari Farland was our spellsword. She had been born to a great pirate queen. At an early age, she showed an aptitude for sorcery but not for thievery. Her ‘no-nonsense’ attitude and intolerance for crime led her to become a naval officer under the land’s prince. Underneath her formality and skill, Inari is plagued with a fear that she isn’t doing the right thing.

Izazel was my cleric of knowledge. He insisted that there was a meaning to life, and he adamantly refused to die until he found it. In his own words, “Once I find it, I’ll lay down and perish. Until then, no such thing will happen.” He wanted to know everything there was to know about the world.

Our campaign was bent on finding the Fountain of Immortality and with it archives of all time, written across the walls of its chamber. Falx wanted to find it to maybe, just maybe, have a shot at living longer. Garener wanted to know if death was escapable, and if there was anything in store for the world. Inari wanted to see if there was a ‘right’ thing. Izazel wanted to see all of the unbiased past and bring the truth to light.

We discovered that the fountain would not function unless immortality was ‘traded’. A god must willingly give their power to the pool of water- or a god could be murdered in it. 

Luckily for us, Falx’s connections were able to locate the mountain the fountain was under. As was orchestrated by the DM and Falx’s player the entire time, Falx had stolen the representations of dreams that floated in the fountain. He melted them down. His glaive looked different. We thought nothing of it.

We marched across a small continent and reached the mountain, and found the entrance to a cave several miles deep. It was a hollow ‘spire’ of sorts, covered in mirrors and illusory projections of the past. Embers spiraled from it and into the night. The water in the several story high fountain at the bottom gleamed like liquid mercury. 

Izazel and Garener spent days recording engravings, hailing messengers, and trying to get to the bottom of the cavern that only seemed to get deeper. Inari scouted ahead and mapped the strange bridges that always seemed to change. We had sent Falx to bring our archaeology guild to the scene. We couldn’t excavate it alone. 

Our guild arrived, and disturbing news came with. It was of a green dracolich that we had fought when she was alive. Ahkma, the dragon, was pursuing the fountain with an army beneath her. Someone had told her where it was. The paladins of the fountain that had aided us on our quest joined us, sworn by oath to defend it. We called upon our oldest allies in the farthest corners of the mountains. 

Izazel and Inari had reached the fountain. Garener, Falx and the others busied themselves with tactics on the outer cliffs. We could see the legions approaching. We had known that Ahkma had an army further south, in the city-state she ruled. We had known that she wanted the fountain. But we didn’t think she would go so far as to become a dracolich.

So there we were when the our allies, and a city guard stood against a city-state’s militia. Garener held back a decent portion of the soldiers in a ‘bottleneck’ of a mountain pass. Inari defended them from javelins and arrows with protective magic. We didn’t have time to stop Ahkma from reaching the cliffs, so Izazel, Falx, and the paladins had planned ahead and waited to fight her in the tunnels where she couldn’t fly. 

If this story wasn’t long enough already, here’s where it gets scary and awesome. 

A blast of wind rushed through the tunnels. We were almost knocked to the ground. A deep, unsettling feeling seemed to choke us. Ahkma was approaching. As her toxic breath filled the halls and left two of the paladins coughing blood, Izazel noticed that Falx was nowhere to be seen. We fled to less airtight halls, hearing the horrible snapping of Ahkma stepping onto and breaking the collapsed paladins.

Before we saw dragon claws, before we saw her venomous clout of breath, a javelin struck the leader of the paladins in the throat, pinning her to a wooden beam. Wilhelm was her name. Falx stepped out from a hall. There was a collective cry of anguish at the table as we connected the signs. We should have seen it coming. The moment Falx unsheathed his glaive, the paladins’ moments were numbered. Three of them fell. 

Izazel ran, like a coward. He couldn’t fight his battlemaster companion, but he could outrun him. Izazel knew the patterns of the tunnels and overlooks. Falx did not. Iz hid behind a statue, six or so stories below where he had left the dracolich and traitor. He held a page of notes on the use of the fountain to his chest. Falx could kill him, but he could not have the notes. 

I looked my DM in the eye. I called for Divine Intervention. And it worked. Isthmus, the god of knowledge in our setting, came to life from the mirrored crystal of the statue. With the combined power of cleric and god, we altered the illusions and histories on the walls. 

 Isthmus struck Ahkma’s wing with a moving platform, sealing it into the stone. She broke it away, flightless and enraged. In that horrible moment, the ancient dracolich launched herself across the floor of the cavern. She pinned Isthmus to the fountain and lacerated the god’s throat. She drowned him. 

Izazel had been dealing with Falx. His scream of horror was cut off by a magical spear to the gut. Falx’s player had a wicked smile on his face. He spent his last superiority die to knock Izazel off the edge of the platform. We were twelve stories up.

Outside, Inari was gravely injured and our allies had retreated into a safer valley to tend to the wounded. Garener’s player broke down laughing. Earlier in the game, they had a curse put on them by a hag we had to deal with. The curse was that they would cause a grim and horrible explosion on death, which would virtually guarantee that they would kill all of their allies and everyone around them. 

With that, Garener insisted that all of out allies flee and their player pulled out a secret of her own that we also should have expected. Garener had a phylactery, and would become a lich on death. Cackling like only a nihilistic necromancer can, Garener flew above the militia and gave one last speech about the meaninglessness of life. And died. A very large portion of the army was killed or injured in the explosion. And Garener had every last one of their souls. It would take them a day to reform, but they had done what they needed to. Our allies finished off the soldiers who remained hostile, leaving those who chose to the chance to run.

So, Izazel. He fell twelve stories. And by perfect and unintentional roll of the DM’s dice to find out where his corpse would lie, he struck not the bottom of the cavern but the water of the fountain. Remember when I said Isthmus had been killed on the fountain? Remember when I said that Ahkma and Falx didn’t have the notes necessary to use the fountain, because Izazel had them? It turns out the ritual, which is all verbal, isn’t as hard to do while falling twelve stories as you’d think.

And that, my friends, is how my cleric became the god he previously served.

ararebettyfan  asked:

What was your most ' I was a moron back then' moment?

oh boi, I could make a youtube series about “that one time I went full retard when I was a kid” 

telling my stupid childhood stories of when i ate dirt and played with liquid mercury an entire day.

huh….. that’s actually not a bad idea…


MacGyver, he’s coming around, call the bomb squad.
There’s no time. We’re the bomb squad.
Hell Week - 3x09

Like Silver Glass

Part Two to this Part One!

ITS FINALLY HERE! The much awaited second installment to the Merman!Bucky fic that was originally a drabble, then grew to become a series is finally updated haha! I’m truly sorry for making you all wait so long, I’ve been in a weird funk lately which is why none of my fics have been updated and why I’ve been pretty silent over messages! Forgive me? Anyway I hope you enjoy xx

{also this music vid was inspiration for this part xx}

Chapter II - Wet Sand, Dry Sand 

Something calls for you. 

The wind whispering through the open window washes over your hot skin, brushing sure fingers through your loose hair and kissing your sticky temple, pressing cool palms to your burning cheeks and caressing its invisible lips against your ears. There’s an elemental inhale and –

The world narrows then stills. 

Thick silence engulfs you, like your head slipping underwater; your eyes softly close at the esoteric sensation swirling in your chest – ink in water, magic in blood, staining your insides. Awakened by the touch of invisible tender fingers your soul floats to a place far away, below crashing waves and rocky cliffs, down down to secret depths of blue darkness. Only once you’ve reached this place, sense the yearning that throbs under the deceptive layer of quiet peace, only then does the wind sing it’s song to you.

Go to him, it lulls in your ears like waves lapping at the shore, Go to himGo to him…Come to me, the wind hushes now with a new twist in its tone, Come to me

From the clench of your heart you know that the voice the wind carries is his. Basking in the brilliant belonging of his call you open your eyes and know that your soul is no longer yours. You feel it, feel him, in the very core of your being. There’s an elemental inhale and –

You go to him.

Keep reading

Kiss Me Not -Part 20-

Find Part One Here!

tags: drarry, hogwarts eighth year, soulmates au

Harry took about three sentences worth of notes during both his classes, none of which he remembered writing down. He dumped everything haphazardly back into his bag, still trying to shove it all inside in a single crumpled mess when he felt a hand grab him by the arm and begin towing him down the hallway.

“H-Hermione?” Harry said to the back of the fluffy brown hair.

She glanced back at him, her grip never loosening, “Hurry up.”

“Shouldn’t you have been in class?” Harry asked, trying to keep up and keep everything in his bag at the same time.

“Runes,” She said shortly, “I finished early and asked to be excused. Was Malfoy in Charms with you?”

Harry shook his head and added since she couldn’t see, “No, he wasn’t-”

“He didn’t come to Runes either.” She stopped in front of the gargoyle heading up to the Headmistress office, quickly murmuring the password and pulling Harry up the stairs as soon as it had moved.

“What are we-?” Harry pulled back.

Hermione tightened her grip, “Come on, We don’t have a lot of spare time.”

“What are you doing?” Harry asked, “Does McGonagall know we’re coming up here?”

“Of course, I asked for permission to use the school’s pensive and she said I could during lunch,” Hermione said. She cut a straight line through the Headmistress’ office to the cabinet in the back containing the school’s pensive.

Harry pulled free from Hermione’s loosened grip, “Why?” he asked uneasily.

“What happened with Malfoy- It’s been bothering me. There’s too much that doesn’t make sense.” Hermione said opening the cabinet and exposing the heavy stone basin, “I’d like to see it for myself.” She took in his expression and softened, “You don’t have to show me anything you don’t want to. Just the confusing part.”

Harry frown faintly.

“I want to help,” Hermione said.

Harry looked down at his feet. He nodded after a moment, “It might help if I see it again too.”

Hermione stepped to the side so Harry could stand in front of the pensive.

He took a deep breath, pressing his wand to his temple and recalling everything after the snitch with as much detail as he could muster. A long silver strand came away with his wand and pooled in the bottom of the stone bowl like liquid mercury.

Hermione pressed close to his shoulder, “You’re sure?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Harry said faintly and leaned forward into the memory. Hermione came only a second behind.

Harry watched it play out all over again, and then again- it all happened so fast- before he couldn’t stand it anymore and pulled himself out, feeling as hollow and empty as the when it had first happened. He dropped himself in one of McGonagall’s chair, closing his eyes and pressing his thumbs into his temples where a dull ache promised a future headache.

Hermione’s feet shuffled against the carpet as she slowly raised her head, blinking rapidly. She plucked the memory out with the tip of her wand and walked over to Harry. He dropped his hands, tilting his head and feeling more than seeing when the memory came back to him, fresh and sharp once more.

“I want to see the party,” Hermione said.

“Wha-?” Harry looked up at her, “All of it? We don’t have time.”

She rolled her eyes, “Just the part with Malfoy in it.”

Harry slumped back into the chair, putting his wand to his temple, “Yeah, alright,” he said tiredly, pulling the memory from his mind and holding his wand out.

Hermione shook her head at him, carefully taking Harry’s wand and putting the memory into the pensive. She tossed his wand back to him, “We’ll need at least twenty minutes to eat lunch, cast a tempus and pull me out by then, would you?”

Harry waved at her halfheartedly, casting the tempus after she had already gone into the memory. He slumped further down into the chair to stare up at it and watch the minutes slowly tick by.

True to her word, Hermione stayed in the memory until twenty till and Harry took her by the shoulder, tugging her backwards until her eyes focused.

“Lunch,” Harry said, taking the memory back out of the pensive. “Figure it out?” he asked.

“Mmm,” Hermione murmured, her expression distant like it always was when she was trying to figure out a particularly tricky puzzle.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Harry muttered, grabbing his bag off the chair and heading downstairs first to pick through whatever was left of the lunchtime offerings.

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Part 7 ~ Part 8 ~Part 9 ~Part 10 ~ Part 11~ Part 12 ~ Part 13 ~ Part 14 ~ Part 15 ~ Part 16  ~ Part 17 ~ Part 18 ~ Part 19 ~ Part 20 (you are here!) ~ Part 21 ~

♡Thank you’s below the cut♡

Keep reading


I was working on Darkrai and species forms (which doing species alternates was trendy a long time ago) but I fell off the motivation boat on this one. I’ll probably add onto it in the future when I have more ideas…

The images are captioned with what ‘typing’ each darkrai is. A few of them have quirks like the fairy having a lunatone with it, the bug types wings referenced to cresselia’s ‘lunar wing’. The ghost type inspired by a japanese folklore story. I was thinking along the lines of pilot for the flying type but that was unrealized he looks a little basic lmao. The steel typing has metal legs, and his hair was supposed to look like heavy smog or liquid mercury. 

ive got a proposition for you all, its cold hot chocolate. now i know what your thinking. what is the point of making something cold thats suppossed to be hot? well i will tell you. the purpose of this experiement is to see how much liquid mercury the body can handle. this is what makes cold hot chocolate cold. by testing this experiemnt out of humans instead of dogs we can get a accurate results. 

i want you to go outside. smell the air. taste the air. now go back inside. now go back outside. now spin around three times. youre ready to make cold hot chocolate. now ive got another proposition for you all, and this one’s a doozy. hot cocoa cola. thats right, this is chocolate soda with a new twist. your favorite soda is hot now baby.

take a look at your hands. how much blood is there? none? i hope so. anyways here is your recipe for cold hot chocolate

fj3894jg0j J89rjh98qwehf8wHG89HW0GJ\wj59rjh