For God’s sake, Kent thinks to himself in
the “personal care” section of the grocery store. Why does Dove think I’m allergic to purple just because I’m a guy?
He picks up the lavender-scented bar soap and inhales. It smells heavenly. Next he tries the sandalwood-scented from the men’s section. It comes in a
gray box and costs fifty cents less. It smells good but it reminds him of floor
I’m a grown-ass man, Kent thinks, and buys
the lavender soap.
The next time he’s out of body wash, he spends thirty minutes
trying to decide on one of the many “manly” smells before caving to “Cocoa
Cabana” in the women’s aisle because it smells like Valentines Day in a bottle.
After that it’s his deodorant body spray, trading in “Bold” (whatever the fuck
boldness smells like) for “Fresh Cotton.”
The first time Jeff catches a whiff
of it on him, he asks, “New fabric softener? It smells awesome.”
“Nah, switched deodorants.”
“Huh.” Jeff nods in approval. “Well, you smell like fresh
blankets out of the dryer. I have a physical urge to hug you.”
Kent laughs. Jeff hugs him and he laughs more. It’s nice.
After five months, nearly every toiletry Kent owns has been
switched over from an endless variety of blacks, grays, and occasional dark
greens and blues to white, purple, soft brown, yellow, and pink. Showers have
transformed from a perfunctory necessity to something luxurious. Women’s
products are so indulgent.
They make Kent feel and smell like he’s been at a spa. He does have to learn to juggle the fragrances appropriately or
risk smelling like a perfume store vomited on him. But it’s worth it, for how
good he feels after. He feels pampered. His skin is softer, his hair shines,
and even his pits and crotch look and feel cleaner. He doesn’t know if it’s the
products or because he really cares about the maintenance, now, since he’s got
all these specialty items to try. It doesn’t matter. He feels great.
Kent now has honest-to-God bubble baths and detox-salt-soaks.
He’s got body butters and face masks and a lip balm in almost every flavor. The
ladies at the Lush at the mall know him by name.
Kent’s still single. He’s got his cat for company, though, and
the guys, who drop by or come over for movie and game nights and get drunk and
eat all his food and pretend to chirp him for the specialty lemongrass-scented
hand soap in his bathroom. Sometimes, on roadies, Swoops will plop down next to
him on a bus or a plane and say loudly, “Damn, who’s got chocolate and
isn’t sharing? Oh, it’s just Parser. Fuck you for getting my hopes up,” and
then he’ll noogie Kent or grab his fingers and gnaw on them.
(The coaches have had to break them up before and it’s very
unbecoming of two adult men.)
More than once, one of the guys has fallen asleep next to Kent
and ended up face-first in Kent’s shoulder. They’ll wake up blearily, rubbing
their eyes and saying, “Whoops, sorry man, didn’t mean to drool on you.”
Kent was confused at first but he’s realizing that it’s because they gravitate
towards the scent of him in their sleep. He smells like comforting things:
honey and chocolate and cotton and Shea. He smells like warmth and safety. It’s
why he likes all the things he buys, so it makes sense the guys would like
Nobody rags on him for it. They chirp him, but that’s different.
Chirping, light-hearted and giggly, means acceptance. Soon his teammates start
coming up to him in the locker room or nudging him on a bus and
saying, “Parser, can I borrow some of your stuff?” and leaving with
key-lime lips or cocoa-butter hands.
But it’s when he catches Sunny—big, burly, greatly-bearded d-man
Sunny—pulling a bright orange tube of passion fruit lip balm out of his bag and
slicking it on in front of everyone that he knows for sure that it’s okay.
Bittle’s quiet, at first, when Jack kisses him. It isn’t what Jack would have expected, had he allowed himself to expect anything. The Bittle he knows is bright as a sunbeam, a starburst, singing and cajoling and regaling and chirping. He bestows pet names on those he loves and “bless your heart"s on those he doesn’t.
He’s the guy belting Beyoncé too early in the shower, getting it stuck in Jack’s head day in and day out until Bittle’s there at the back of his mind and–
Honestly, Jack thinks, he really should have figured things out sooner.
When Jack kisses him, though, Bittle goes quiet, soft and pliant in Jack’s arm, warm and smelling of flour and brown sugar. He melts like butter, their lips clinging, and Jack’s heart aches with everything he feels.
But he wants to hear Bittle. Wants to hear him sigh and moan, to say his name–*oh, Jack*–breathless and overwhelmed. He’s felt it, just beneath the surface. Pressed his hands to the span of Bittle’s shoulders, the small of his back, and Bittle has parted lips against his own and pushed forward. Kissed Jack within an inch of his own life.
It’s wonderful. Jack loves it. He loves kissing Bittle. He loves Bittle.
Jack nuzzles at the line of his neck, the curve of his shoulder. Fits his mouth there and sucks. Against him, Bittle stiffens. His hands on Jack’s shoulders tighten. A sound, barely there, gets caught in Bittle’s throat, stopped before it’s released.
"Bitty,” Jack says, voice rough, muffled. “Please. I want to–I want to hear you.”
A breath. Another. “You do?”
Jack pulls away to look at him, taking in his dark eyes and flushed cheeks, his kiss-bitten lips. “Always,” he says. “Yes.”
“Jack,” Bittle sighs.
This time, when Jack kisses him, Bittle isn’t as quiet, and all (well, maybe not all) Jack can think about are the times he tried to shut Bittle out and how happy he is to let him in.
Summary: One night you met Xiumin in an illegal casino and he made you an offer you couldn’t refuse: help him win by cheating and get part of the profit. But one day someone comes in and tests your partnership and relationship. Will you stick with Xiumin? Or will Baekhyun steal you away?
“All-in.” The handsome guy sitting in front of you coldly said while pushing his 50000$ worth of chips forward.
This was your first time in an illegal casino. This one was in the back of a fancy restaurant, normal costumers had no clue of what was going on in the background.
A friend of yours, who worked at the restaurant, told you about this place and you decided to come here and test your luck. There was a huge variety of people here and you knew some of them were dangerous but you didn’t care, you enjoyed the extra danger.
Read the sequel: She’s Testosterone 2 Words: 2.4k Genre: Crack Fic. No lies here. Summary: Drop dead gorgeous, cute and sassy - you adore your best friend. But is there more beneath the surface? Who exactly is Min Yoonji?
“Where have you been? I haven’t heard from you in weeks!” Your best friend, Janice shouted on the other end of the phone.
“I know I know.” You said to her, strolling around the 7th floor in the Hotel Cortez. Nothing but James’s white button up, panties and fuzzy slippers were worn on you. Nobody ever visited the 7th floor besides you, James and Miss Evers. James didn’t even want the other ghosts being a disruption either. Besides, there are plenty of other floors they can haunt.
“You haven’t been returning my calls. I was thinking you were mad at me or something happened to you.”
“I’m fine. Trust me.” You reassured your best friend. “I fell in love.” Falling in love with a ghost, James Patrick March to be exact, was never on your bucket list. The Blue Parrot lounge was where you met him and it was almost like love at first sight to you. He offered to pay for your drinks and then two of you hit it off there. The way he spoke had you weak in the knees. His voice was like silk. It almost soothed you as the words fell from his lips like butter.
“What?! Tell me all about it Y/N!” Janice said excitedly.
You couldn’t exactly tell your best friend that you’re dating a serial killing ghost because she’ll think you’re insane or on drugs. Instead, you told her what you wanted her to know from his first name, how handsome he is, where you reside with him and how amazing he treats you.
After reassuring her that you’re all and well, she let you go and made sure to tell your circle of friends that you’re doing more than okay.
Walking down the hall, you hummed to a tune as you were making your way to the room James was in. He had jazz music playing from one of his favorite artists, Benny Goodman. Although he has no choice really, you enjoyed that he was old fashioned. It’s quite difficult for you to come across single men your age like that. All they want to do is party and have sex with multiple women.
“Ah dearest.” James’s eyes lit up when he saw you enter the room before he took a seat on the chair with pipe in one hand.
“You look absolutely splendid in my attire.”
There was a newspaper on the coffee table as if his next task was to read through it, while a half filled glass of bourbon sat atop the coffee table ready to be sipped slowly.
“Aw thank you.” You couldn’t help but blush red, your darling always knew what to say. “I was going to ask if you wanted to join me in the Blue Parrot lounge for a drink or two. Maybe keep Liz company?”
James inhaled from his pipe before answering. “That sounds quite appealing. I suggest you put on more appropriate garments.” He stated.
After James suggested you change was when you parted ways and he told you he’d meet you at the Blue Parrot lounge. Surprisingly, you arrived there before him, so you made yourself cozy at the bar.
Not even ten minutes later, a stranger takes a seat beside you. It confused you a bit since there were a lot of empty bar stools.
“Next drink is on me, gorgeous.” He refers to you.
You glare at him for a second, then look away to face Liz. She shoots you a ‘oh no’ type of look. “No thank you. I’m with someone.”
“Boyfriend huh?” The stranger frowns jokingly. “Well I don’t see him around. I insist.” He decided to be ballsy and grasped your wrist, but you immediately denied it. It was perfect timing too because James shows up, standing right behind the guy, basically breathing on the back of his neck. You glanced at James, then back at the desperate man. He definitely was in trouble now.
“Trust me. I’m WITH someone.” You implied. James grabs onto the man’s shoulder who twitched from being surprised.
“If my queen says she is with someone, I suggest you listen.” James said with widened eyes.
“Really? Mr. 1920s? Cane and all?” The stranger chuckled while giving James a disgusted elevator look. James, on the other hand, was giving him a death stare, his hand clenching his cane.
You raised your eyebrows, sipping on your alcoholic beverage while keeping the dozens of liquor bottles displayed as your view. Liz continued on wiping down the bar table. You both knew where this was going so you laid back and minded your own business while James takes care of this.
“This is a joke. I’m out of here.” The man scoffed, then shrugged his shoulders. “You’re not pretty enough for the trouble.” He attempted to walk away but before he could take another step, James pulls out the knife hidden in his cane and stabs the guy in the back who wanted to screech in pain but he couldn’t.
He instantly fell to the floor and dropped dead. It was as if James knew the right spot to stab him. You quickly glared at the dead body, then fixed your gaze onto your beloved James. “Thank you. He was annoying.” You said.
“Of course, dearest.” James replied, taking a seat where the dead man was once sitting. He made sure to take your hand into his, leaving a sweet kiss at your knuckles.
“I guess I’ll go find Miss Evers then.” Liz said with her nose in the air. Miss Evers was always willing to clean up after you and James.
Now you can’t wait to thank James later in the bedroom.
going all-natural skin care + 6 things i stopped buying
1. Deodorant: Instead, use Witch Hazel (suggested scent: rose petal) on a pad, apply under arms
benefits: helps reduce discoloration in armpits // lowers skin pH so odor-causing bacteria can’t exist // no harsh smells
2. Shampoo: Instead, cleanse your hair, as needed, with diluted Apple Cider Vinegar, and rinse out after 3-5 minutes.
benefits: repairs hair cuticles // cleanses your scalp // does not strip your hair of natural oils // no sulfates and other stripping chemicals
3. Makeup Remover Wipes: instead, use a washcloth (preferably black) and apply solidified coconut oil to your face, then use the cloth to wipe your entire makeup off until satisfied. *(continue with face wash routine or face mask)
benefits: reusable // machine washable // save money // gentle on the skin // effectively removes makeup
4. Ineffective Lip Balms: instead, make or buy your own natural oil-and-shea butter-based lip balm (suggested brand: BUTTERelixir Lip Balm)
benefits: 100% natural // cruelty-free // protect lips from sun and wind // can also be used to moisturize and help improve nail and cuticle texture and strength // no GMA, preservatives, parabens, sulfates, phthalates, synthetic fragrances // BPA free // non-toxic vegan
5. Disposable Razors: instead, instead, use a stainless-steel safety razor with reusable blades
6. Shaving Cream: instead, use hair conditioner (preferably a natural and/or organic brand such as Petal Fresh Pure) on desired external areas (**shaving with a sunburn, use aloe vera for a cooling effect and skin treatment)
benefits: cost-effective // moisturizes skin // allows easier movement with razor/shaving stick // convenient in the shower // smoother skin // prevents ingrown hair and bumps // hydrating