lindsey filowitz

Lindsey Filowitz. Laser Face, 2011

I am currently reading Bossypants and I thought I would also share Tina Fey’s 6th Secret to Mommy’s Beauty:

6) Space Lasers

As you age, you may want to pay someone to shoot lasers at your face. If you are a fancy lady and live in a fancy urban center like New York or Dallas-Fort Worth, you go to a fancy dermatologist and they cover your eyes and point various machines at your face to “promote collagen production.” If you live far from a city, you can simulate the experience at home by having a friend hide your wallet while you sit close to a space heater. It will work just as well.

For a while I was getting my “laser money removal” done by a fancy doctor on Park Avenue. One day I went to see about some hormonal acne that wouldn’t go away on my jawline. The doctor eagerly injected the spot with steroids, and within a day or two the blemish had shrunk down to normal. Unfortunately, the steroids caused the spot to keep shrinking, and by the end of the week I had a divot in my jaw though which I could feel the bone. I was furious and complaining about it in the makeup chiar at SNL. “My face is already pretting banged up and now i have another scar to deal with?!” Amy Poehler called to me from across the room, “The difference is…now you’re paying for it.”  She was right. I really had made it. We high-fived about it later.”