OKAY STORYTIME LET’S GO
So last year, I had APUSH. If you don’t know what that stands for, it stands for Advanced Placement United Stated History. Advanced Placement, or AP for short, is a fancy term for a class that is considered college level.
I had a bunch of friends in that class, and on top of all that, I also had an amazing teacher. Probably one of the best teachers I have ever had. Her name was Mrs. Lamountain, and we are very similar in a lot of ways.
This includes our love for the Civil War.
I saw these Abraham Lincoln bandages here on Tumblr one day, and I’m like “These can’t be real. They probably don’t exist.” I told my teacher about them, and she told me jokingly, “If you ever find these, you need to tell me where to find them, because I want them really bad now!”
Time goes by, and I was with my friend oldfashionedlizard, and we’re at this store about 25 minutes away from where I live. He was looking at the books or the DVDs or some shit like that, and I’m just looking at the food because let’s face it, food is my lifetime friend.
I’m walking by the novelty items when I look down and see a container. I pick it up. Sure enough…it’s the Abraham Lincoln bandages.
I kinda lost my shit in the middle of the store, and I rush to the counter to buy all that they had left (two packages, one for me, and one for my teacher).
The next day, I walk into class and coincidentally, my teacher gets a paper cut. I walk up to her, and in the smoothest way possible, hand her the package, and say “I will heal your wounds as I healed a nation.”
To this day, she still has them.