limit reach

  • Someone: you'll feel better when you go outside, you need to stop staying inside so much
  • Me: *goes outside, feels good for 10 minutes because I get some air and maybe buy something nice*
  • Me: okay hey this isn't TOO bad
  • Me, five seconds later: *has reached personal limit of "being around other people" capacity, gets nervous and antsy and overwhelmed by the noise and really wants home* HELP
effects of parental abuse

+ the inability or struggle to say “no”, because disobedience meant punishment and you are used to being directed all the time

+ being unable to emotionally relate with your family (especially parents, if they are the abuser). concurring thoughts of “i won’t care if THEY die”, or “they won’t care if I die”

+ always afraid/hesitant to confide in someone else about feelings or thoughts, because you are used to being neglected/dismissed when you talk about your feelings, constantly being replied with “get over it”. the consequence of this is that the emotions/feelings pile up inside over time and, when you reach the limit, you suddenly become self-destructive or imminently violent/emotional

+ however, when given the chance to CONFIDE about your feelings with freedom confidently, everything spills out, even if it’s with a stranger or with someone you have not been in contact for very long.

+ you always assume that the answer to every question/statement you say is “no”, even if you definitely know the person is very likely to say “yes”. you prepare for denial and disappointment and feel a huge wave of relief when they say “yes”.

+ being secretive about enjoyment/liking things, or being secretive in what you’ve done for the day, even if it’s not deemed “bad” or “illegal”.

+ simultaneously confused whether you have affection towards your parent(s) or you hate them whole-heartedly, despite knowing that they abuse you. the confusion stems from “well, they’re my parent, so i think they’re doing this because they love me”, though the thought is, of course, false

+ being scared that people will only take advantage of you, as your parents consequently thought of you as an object to benefit from, and not someone to love.

+ being easily attached to others, because you had no parental figure. this can lead you to being easily manipulated and you are very easily controlled. children under parental abuse are also more likely to have “chosen families”.

+ having an “escape plan” or “last resort” if you still live with your parents, just in case they do something worse to you, thinking up of elaborate plans to get out, how you’ll survive, where you’ll stay, etc.

+ being surprised learning that other parents are unlike your parents, and having to have someone/a source to tell you that what your parents are doing is abusive, and as a child you thought it was normal to be unhappy at home.

+ liking school or days out because that meant being away from your parents

+ developing emotional/personality disorders and distorted thinking

youtube

hello this is my favorite dance version of Just Right thank u

“Donald Trump is the literal opposite of Fred Rogers.”

I posted that earlier to my facebook feed, and I’ll be honest…  When I did it I was kind of hoping it would encourage my friend who studied the life of Fred Rogers extensively to chime in because I knew he would have something pertinent to say.  I was not wrong.  


“Fred Rogers had such a huge problem with both Regan (who he programmed his show against) and Bush Jr. (The latter of which is much more complicated as they had a relationship that tested Fred’s boundaries.) that I can’t say “I can’t imagine how Fred would react” I know how Fred would react based on his interactions with the lesser evils of Reagan and Bush:

1. Had he not been retired, he would have themed weeks specifically against what Trump was putting in the news cycle. When Trump mocked a disabled reporter he’d have a week on disability and inclusion, when Trump promoted sexual assault, he’d program a week on respect and physical boundaries, when he bad mouthed women he’d have strong women on for a week. Fred would have travelled to do a week on Mexico and he would have moved in an Islamic neighbor.

I know this for a fact because these are the actions he took with Regan both with his “conflict weeks” and his traveling to Russia for remotes during the Cold War.

2. Fred would have attended events Trump invited him to but he would do so on his terms. He would participate in these events as well as long as it was on his terms. Because Fred would rather speak truth into those spaces then avoid them. But Fred would not accuse, he would just bear truth, refuse to be seen as supporting an evil and exit.

This is what he did to respond to the love the Bush family had for him and his work. He even offered prayer at one of their fundraisers: but it was a challenging prayer, one insisting that those in power and privilege use that for the least of these and especially children. After delivering that prayer Fred exited the building and sat outside like a kid after soccer practice waiting for his ride, spurning the thousands of dollars a plate dinner not even gladhanding with the bushes after.

When asked why he said he had reached the limit of what he could do before becoming an accuser. He wanted to challenge but never accuse as accusation was what Fred associated with the devil.

3. Fred would accept invitations to news programs when those programs allowed him to educate parents on countering the negative things coming from the president for their children. He knew those things affected children so he wanted to spread tools on helping them reject war, violence, hatred, oppression and racism.

He did this during any presidents term if it didn’t prevent him from meeting an obligation to children (he once turned down a spot on Nightline to talk about violence and children, one of his main causes, because he had a visit to an elementary school that same morning and knew he wouldn’t be mentally present for it if he was planning for Nightline in the afternoon.)

So we need to be like Fred. Getting in between children and any normalization of Trumps ways or words. Fred would have been diligently working on how to handle Trump in the land of make believe. Just like when King Friday started building nuclear bombs with money he promised to schools. Yeah Fred wasn’t subtle.” - Rev. Kevin Ireland

Bungou Stray Dogs (文豪ストレイドッグス)

Osamu Dazai attempts to bring Atsushi Nakajima and Ryunosuke Akutagawa just a bit closer, but he’s clearly reached their limit. New poster art from April’s Newtype Magazine (Amazon US | eBay), illustrated by key animator Ayumi Abe (阿部愛由美).

if l cry in front of you, believe me, I reached my limit
—  (via sturzpoesie IG)
I know this is an extremely stressful time for you, but just remember you can only do as much as you possibly can. Then, give yourself a definite break of at least an hour to two, just to give yourself (brain included) a rest, which everyone needs once one reaches their limit. Remember, you will still be alive tomorrow, the sun will still rise the next day, so its not “A matter of life or death.”
—  Krista Cowton
your mars and type of anger

cold anger: air mars (gemini/libra/aquarius) and virgo mars

This people are scaaary. They do get angry, don’t misunderstand me, but when they do it’s not about explosions and shouting, no. You can see the emotion leave their eyes and you know you’ve pissed them off. They won’t necesarilly say anything, they’ll treat you like a stranger, they will be cold and formal, so much you’ll doubt if you ever knew them at all.

When they reach their limit, they cut you with words and truths about yourself that may have not even been spoken outloud until that moment.

white hot anger: fire mars (aries/leo/sagittarius)

While air mars are patient and detached, fire mars are fireworks and loud words. This mars signs don’t take much to explode, they’re like powder, you just need a match. Attacking their ego is probably the quickest way to anger them. They are pretty childlike in that sense, actually, they shout and tell you what you did and then they go back to normal.

This may be quite surprising but I do find them as the type that “forgive and forget”.

Willing to physically fight you so be careful lol.

slow cooked anger: taurus and capricorn mars

This are some of the most patient signs, they deal quietly with your bullshit, throw you a mean look from time to time and keep going on. They may not find the point on telling you anything.

But once they have reached their peak, you don’t wanna be there. They lose their shit and tell you things as they are. This people don’t like to be angry, mostly because of their practical approach to things, so when they are, they just tell you things and move on. If you make the same mistake again, they’ll probably just cut you off.

This signs are extremely blunt, and say things as they are, which, even if they don’t want to can be pretty damaging to the other person.

hidden anger: water mars (cancer/scorpio/pisces) 

Water mars, like most things water, are quite complicated.

Given their passive nature, they hardly ever speak up when angry. They are just prone to giving the silent treatment and being slightly passive agressive from time to time.

Scorpio mars is the most conscious of their anger, though, so even if they are not passive agressive or anything, they do swallow their anger and keep it inside until they can’t anymore.

This signs are prone to holding grudges and taking revenge. Cancer and pisces may not actively seek it, but if the opportunity comes up, they will take it.

Scorpio mars on the other side, may be vengeful when they reach their limit, as well as self destructive and intense. They are the prime example of losing one’s shit.

Cancer and pisces mars are specially prone to crying when angry and love to play the victim.

i feel like i need to say this

recently, a lot of information has been brought to my attention, especially that of people copying my art, and copying specific pieces to the point where they’re just redraws. this isn’t the first time this has happened, unfortunately, but the fact that i found out about so many of them at once has brought me to have to say this. i’m tired, so very tired of emphasizing that my art, and all art, is more than just lines and colors. the fact that people feel comfortable reducing my work to just stock photo references makes me unexplainably sad. everything i draw has a very personal backstory behind it, and i wish for people to respect that. i of course, unfortunately, cannot make anyone respect me,

however, i’ll put this out there. we all start somewhere, and getting inspiration is not something unusual. you don’t have to deny it. if you reference something, just credit the person, that’s the least you can do. there’s no need to tell me that my art is “overdone” and “generic” just to justify the fact that our pieces “coincidentally” look alike. you don’t have to hurtle insults at anyone when they tell you that something like this makes them uncomfortable.

i make this post because i am tired, and the more and more i deal with situations like this, the more uncomfortable it makes me to share my art with the world. what’s the point of me drawing anything if it’s “generic” and “overdone” and “nothing special” and “anyone who has ever held a pencil could do some crappy shit like that”. you don’t have to call me a “shitty tumblr aesthetic” to admit that you enjoy my work.

thank you all so much for your support. you all mean a lot to me, that you enjoy my work and continue to do so.

How high can you count on your fingers?

How high can you count on your fingers? It seems like a question with an obvious answer. After all, most of us have ten fingers, or to be more precise, eight fingers and two thumbs. This gives us a total of ten digits on our two hands, which we use to count to ten. 

It’s no coincidence that the ten symbols we use in our modern numbering system are called digits as well. But that’s not the only way to count. In some places, it’s customary to go up to twelve on just one hand. How? Well, each finger is divided into three sections, and we have a natural pointer to indicate each one, the thumb. That gives us an easy to way to count to twelve on one hand. 

And if we want to count higher, we can use the digits on our other hand to keep track of each time we get to twelve, up to five groups of twelve, or 60.

Better yet, let’s use the sections on the second hand to count twelve groups of twelve, up to 144.

That’s a pretty big improvement, but we can go higher by finding more countable parts on each hand. For example, each finger has three sections and three creases for a total of six things to count. Now we’re up to 24 on each hand. 

And using our other hand to mark groups of 24 gets us all the way to 576. Can we go any higher? It looks like we’ve reached the limit of how many different finger parts we can count with any precision. So let’s think of something different.

One of our greatest mathematical inventions is the system of positional notation, where the placement of symbols allows for different magnitudes of value, as in the number 999. Even though the same symbol is used three times, each position indicates a different order of magnitude. So we can use positional value on our fingers to beat our previous record. Let’s forget about finger sections for a moment and look at the simplest case of having just two options per finger, up and down. This won’t allow us to represent powers of ten, but it’s perfect for the counting system that uses powers of two, otherwise known as ‘binary’. 

In binary, each position has double the value of the previous one, so we can assign our fingers values of 1, 2, 4, 8…all the way up to 512. And any positive integer, up to a certain limit, can be expressed as a sum of these numbers. For example, the number seven is 4+2+1. So we can represent it by having just these three fingers raised. How high an we go now? That would be the number with all ten fingers raised, or 1,023. Is it possible to go even higher? It depends on how dexterous you feel! If you can bend each finger just halfway, that gives us three different states -down, half bent, and raised. Now, we can count using a base-three positional system, up to 59,048. And if you can bend your fingers into four different states or more, you can get even higher. That limit is up to you, and your own flexibility and ingenuity.

Even with our fingers in just two possible states, we’re already working pretty efficiently. In fact, our computers are based on the same principle. Each microchip consists of tiny electrical switches that can be either on or off, meaning that base-two is the default way they represent numbers. And just as we can use this system to count past 1,000 using only our fingers, computers can perform billions of operations just by counting off 1’s and 0’s.

From the TED-Ed Lesson How high can you count on your fingers? (Spoiler: much higher than 10) - James Tanton

Animation by TED-Ed

How to Meet Local Spirits

(Revamp of my answer to this ask [x])

Local spirits are the spirits that are constantly around us, in the forests, on the beaches, in schools, in homes, etc. They can be ghosts, mythological creatures, entities never mentioned in lore before and more. Their personalities and friendliness towards humans can vary quite a bit, especially depending on where you live. Think of them as your spirit neighbors. Some might remain as such for the entire time that you know them, others might become your companions or maybe even your rivals! The important thing is that you respectfully interact with them and be aware of their boundaries.

There’s two main ways that I’ve found to make contact with local spirits: call them to you or go outside and meet them in the places they live. Calling them to you is actually kind of a similar concept to conjuring except that you are only calling to the spirits that live in your area and that there’s no guarantee that they’ll show up. Going out is like a scientist going on a field study for an organism that they’re interested in: might find them, might not, and if it’s spirits we’re talking about then might find but they don’t want to be interacted with.

That’s the biggest thing to remember when working with local spirits, that not all spirits are interested in interacting with humans. In fact, many spirits couldn’t care less about humans or even actively have ways to prevent humans from meeting them. You should respect spirits that don’t want to be worked with. If you really want to work with a particular group then you could try negotiating with them or slowly building up a relationship with them in order to see if they will eventually be willing. Just don’t force any spirit to interact or speak with you, that will end badly for you every time.

Safety

Spirit work isn’t always the safest thing and there’s many ways that you can be harmed. The most important thing to have is a protective circle. It will protect you from many things and can actually be very versatile. Obviously this is hard to make when going out and meeting spirits so we’ll separate the safety procedures for each technique.

Going Out to Meet the Spirits

When going out not only is it harder to bring and set up materials, you’re also in public a lot of the time which limits what you can do. That is why personal warding is important. Personal warding can take the form of energy shields, protective amulets, etc. These are things that should be prepared before going out with the intent of meeting spirits so that they are ready in case you do get attacked.

Calling the Spirits

Calling the spirits comes with the risk of inviting unknown entities into your home. That is why it is important to have wards and a protective circle. The circle will protect you if they try to attack you during the meeting while the wards will prevent them from getting back in after being banished. Generic wards are basic spirit work stuff so I’m not going to go into them here.

A circle, however, can be made in many different ways. The most important thing to keep in mind is that it has protective elements that you feel are helpful to you, not what some list on the internet says. You could take from traditional circles and use them as a template for creating your own or you can completely make a new style of circle. The possibilities are endless! Some things you might want to include are protective stones, the names of deities you work with, protective words or sigils, candles, etc. Any physical item you use should have a designated spot for it. Your orientation of the elements of the circle is also important, or well it can be if you ascribe that importance! Perhaps you use the four elements to protect you in your circle and you associate them with a particular direction for example.

When you decide on what the circle should look like, practice making and using it! You can draw it out on an old sheet so that you don’t have to keep remaking it, you can set out physical items in the shape of a circle or you can create it with energy if you’re good at that. However you make it, it’s important to get used to being in it and the energy that goes into “activating” it. Activating it usually involves calling upon whatever makes up the circle to protect you. Sticking with the element example, you’d activate is by calling for Fire, Water, Earth, and Air to protect you. Once you are done with the circle, you must close it. This usually means allowing whatever you called upon to depart but in the reverse order from before. Try it out, play around with it, find or create whatever procedure that is comfortable to you.   

When speaking with spirits, do not let them in no matter how much they try to persuade you. Also, do not leave the circle until you are sure that they are gone. That’s why you should keep any banishing tools and the like on hand so you don’t have to run and fetch them. If you don’t follow both of those rules then what’s the point of making the circle?

[There’s many different ways to use a circle, this is just a generic explanation of it].

Calling the Spirits to You

This process includes creating a call of energy and sending it out into the “energy network” of your local area. Spirits in the area can hear this call and choose whether or not to answer it and show up.

Tools needed: An offering for the spirit that you are calling, any banishing tools, any physical items that make up your circle, a wand if you need/use one, and any communication tools if you need them.

Making the Call: Cast your circle, set your offering outside of it and get into a clear state of mind where you can access your energy. Say the call, either out loud or in your head, doesn’t matter. It can be anything but basically along the lines of “I call to any [spirit name] that would be interested in speaking with me for [an interview]. In return, I have an offering of [the offering]”. You can call them for any reason but like I’ve mentioned before, they’re not obligated to come. As you say the call, form the energy of your words into a ball of energy in front of you. This is where you can use your wand to help channel the energy easier. Visualization also helps here. Once it is formed and stable, send it out in all directions into the environment. I usually just shoot a quick burst of energy at it to give it the momentum to move fast but you can flick your wrist/wand or do whatever it is you normally do to send energy out.  

Even after you finish saying the call, you can feed more energy into the energy ball if you want the call to be “louder” and travel farther. This can be dangerous though because since the call is made from your energy, it is connected to you and that’s how the spirits who answer your call can find you. When the call reaches the limits of its strength it disappears and all links to you are gone. However, the stronger you make it, the longer it is out in the environment and the more likely unexpected spirits can trace you. So basically, don’t make the call too powerful.     

Meeting the Spirit: If the call isn’t made too strong (aka the amount of energy that the sample call above makes) then at most, it should take 10 minutes for the call’s energy to die out (usually not actually that long but it’s good to be safe). After you finish speaking with the spirit, thank them for coming and allow them to leave. Make sure that they are actually gone before closing your circle. If a spirit doesn’t appear within that time you can either resend the call or close your circle and try again later.  

Notes: Creating the call doesn’t guarantee that a spirit will show up. It also doesn’t mean that the spirit who shows up is the spirit that you called to. I mean in the four years that I’ve been using this technique, I’ve never had the “wrong” spirit show up but I find it very hard to believe that it’s not possible. Both of these are reasons why it’s important to have the basic techniques for being able to sense a spirit’s presence and determine their identity.

Going Out and Meeting Spirits

This process is much more straightforward. You essentially go out to places in your area like beaches, parks, schools, etc., see if you can sense any spirits, and then see if any are interested in talking with you.

Tools needed: Any protective amulets or items that you have and an offering for any spirits you may come across

I don’t have much explanation for this because it ain’t much more complex than that. If you don’t know who you’re going to meet, generic offerings to bring include water, alcohol, bread, rice, tobacco, etc. If you know of an offering that the spirits where you’re headed would prefer then bring that. No matter what you bring do not leave anything that will pollute the environment. Any food offerings you bring should be in a container and then properly disposed of, not thrown on the ground for example.    

Set out the offering and ask if anyone wants it. You can also respectfully approach anyone you see and ask if they would want it. If they decline your offer, then don’t press them. Just give them a “okay, sorry for bothering you” and leave. Be respectful when interacting with them, you are on their territory after all.

Also be smart about who you approach. If someone’s energy makes you feel uncomfortable or they’re a species or have an affiliation with a group that is known to be hostile, then be aware that you may need to defend yourself if you choose to approach them and things go sour. Of course not all bad-feeling spirits are actually bad, not all good-feeling spirits are actually good, and first impressions can be misleading. Just trust your intuition and be prepared for the worst in case it happens.  

What to Do if You Are in Danger

It’ll happen. Not all spirits are friendly and many might look at you as prey or something to mess with. The most important thing to do is stay calm. When a spirit attacks, it can be very scary so I know that keeping a clear head isn’t always the easiest of things in that situation. That is why you should develop a clear plan for dealing with attacks beforehand and have all the tools that you need already prepared. If it’ll help, write down a basic procedure for banishing and keep it in your pocket or somewhere else that spirits won’t be able to easily see. That way even if you’re freaking out, you’ll have a lifeline telling you what to do.

Calling the Spirits

If a spirit attacks, tries to force their way into your circle, or suddenly acts hostile, banish immediately. It’s best not to take any chances. Once they are banished, cleanse the area and reinforce your wards. Sometimes spirits may do something that might make you uncomfortable but you don’t feel as though it’s bad enough to warrant forcing them out. You can simply ask them to leave or let them know that the behavior will not be tolerated. If they ignore your request, banish them. It’s possible that a spirit isn’t aware that they might be making you uncomfortable and so talking it out first before immediately jumping to banishing (if they’re not actively attacking you) could be beneficial for both of you. Just remember to be firm in your boundaries and don’t let the spirit persuade you into letting them go.  

Reasons not to banish a spirit:

If they look “scary”. Their appearance doesn’t always reflect their personality. For some, that’s just the way that they were born.

If they’re a “demon”. Demon is a very useless, broad term that describes a myriad of entities all of which have different personalities and moralities. “Demon” is not the equivalent of “evil”.

Going out and Meeting the Spirits

The difference here is that you can’t really banish spirits when you visit them at their homes. That’d be like going over to a friend’s house and trying to kick them out. If a spirit attacks you while you’re away from your protected space, the best you can do is get out of there. If you came prepared with proper protection then it should be able to buy you enough time to escape. Depending on the situation, the attacking spirit may or may not be interested in chasing you. So, sometimes “escaping” can be simply removing yourself from the area immediately as the spirit is just acting aggressive so that you’ll back off. But other times, you may need to do a little more than that. If you suspect that you got followed home, perform a banishing of your property and cleanse yourself and the area. Then reinforce your wards.

The one thing that I have to say is that you need to be cognizant of why that spirit is attacking you. More specifically, you need to be aware of when your actions provoke a spirit to attack. Did you infringe upon their territory? Did you bother them after they told you that they didn’t want to interact? You are out in their realm, just as a spirit that you invite into your house should respect you, you should respect spirits when you meet them at their homes.     

Which Process Should You Use?

It depends on what “level” of spirit work you’re at and what you want to accomplish. Calling a spirit to you is definitely requires an intermediate skill level in energy and spirit work whereas going out and meeting them only requires that you be able to sense and communicate with spirits. However, when you call a spirit to you, they’re more likely to be willing to talk since that’s what they came for according to your call. You’re also more protected since you’re able to have your circle and tools right at hand. Spirits that you simply meet outside aren’t always going to want to speak and it’s a bit harder to protect against them. So which process should you use? Both.

Not all spirits are interested in answering a call but they may be willing to talk with you come across them when outside. Sometimes, you need a long conversation with a spirit which is where calling them will be more useful. Calling them might even seem more convenient but I think that it’s important that you learn about the spirits around you by going out and meeting them before calling them to you. It not only helps you get a better idea of the community but it also lets spirits get a better idea of who you are.

Steal my groceries? I'll steal your mama's homemade tamales.

Buckle in kids, this is a long one, but well worth the ride. (TL;DR at the end)

This happened nearly 15 years ago, when I was in college renting a house with two other people. In order to understand the gravity of this situation you must first understand the dynamic between my female roommate (whom I’ll call Becky) and myself (also female). We had one guy roommate (I’ll call him Bob), and the three of us all worked together at a restaurant and lived in the same house for 2 years.

So the three of us were pretty close during that time, we shared a friend group, worked together, and had roomed together a year prior. However, to say Becky and I were friends would be a generous assessment of the true nature of our relationship. You see, Becky and I come from very different backgrounds and also have diametrically opposite personalities. She was from a lower socioeconomic group, a racial minority, and street-savvy. I am the WASPiest wasp of all wasps who ever wasped, come from middle class whiteville and am terribly naive. (I’ve learned a lot about my naiveté since then but I can still be a little dim to the true nature of people and have been hurt many times because of this.)

Keep reading

The Types and Drinking Water

ENFP: Drinks from the toilet. It wasn’t even a dare or anything; they just wanted to know what it tasted like.

ENTP: “h20? More like h2-YO! Hahaha drink your water kids.”

INFP: Misses their entire mouth. Their over-sized sweater is utterly soaked, almost as if their nipples are tiny water falls. Shocked at this sudden development, they drop the glass and it shatters, covering the kitchen floor. Trying to tiptoe to safety, they carelessly slip on the water and onto the broken glass, nearly bleeding to death. As soon as they get discharged from the hospital they’re applying for an infomercial.

ESFP: Sticks their face right under the tap and desperately laps up the water like some kind of deranged and unsettlingly large house cat.

INTJ: * sips water* “ Disgusting. Tastes like licking a car. And you know why? The water we drink contains small traces of iron, zinc, copper, manganese and other metals. And you know who’s fault that is? Our inCOMPETENT GOVERNMENT.  THEY NEED TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND GET THEIR SH** TOGETHER. THEY’VE BEEN LYING TO US AS A NATION FROM THE BEGINNING OF TIME AND IT’S TIME FOR A CHANGE. 

See more of my conspiracy theories on my tumblr blog @anti-feminism-pro-atheism ( the one with red and black theme and the Rainbow Dash icon).”

ISFJ: Has been refusing offers of a glass of water from their friend’s parent for 10 hours now and they’re really reaching their limit. Will probably resolve to drinking their pee Bear Grylls style.

ESTP: Kicks off the faucet, throws it through the window, screams, and lets the broken faucet drench them all the way from their flat peak cap to their $400 basketball shoes, their perfect abs showing through their wet t-shirt. Uploads it to vine.

INTP: * aggressively sips water through a Krazy Straw* SUCC  ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ) 

ENFJ: *Makes it into Fit Tea™* “ This flattened my stomach, cleared my skin, watered my crops, improved my grades, brought Shakespeare back from the dead, got my parents back together, stopped war, solved poverty, and it tastes like Shrek in drink form GREAT. A discount code is in the description, guys! :D.”

ENTJ: Drinks the tears of all those ignorant fools they destroyed in the Spelling Bee last week. 

ISTP: They’re probably chained to a pillar in some empty warehouse as a result of a drug scandal. The only sustenance they receive is a mug of muddy water brought to them by a man in an anonymous mask twice a day. Free them.

INFJ: “Is this vegan?”

ISFP: Drinks the morning dew off the tulips and honeysuckle. It may sound whimsical in theory, but in reality seeing grown adult desperately licking wet grass and flowers in the town park is a rather unsettling experience. 

ESFJ: “Umm, tap water? No thanks. I only drink from my $20000 ultra healing magical energy quinoa infused crystals water filter I got off an infomercial thank you very much. The lady in the commercial says tap water gives you cancer and I trust her judgement. I even have her book, “ “vaccine” and “autisms” both haave six letter. Coinsidance? I think noot.”, wanna borrow it?”       

ISTJ: * Harry Potter Puppet Pals Snape voice* Today I drank some water for my breakfast. It was flavourless and watery. I thought of my mother. I cried.

ESTJ: Has one of those drink bottles with times written at different levels on the side to show you how much water you should be drinking throughout the day. It gives them a feeling of superiority knowing that their life is slightly more organised than everyone else.