lily's derps

The Blog of Bilbo Baggins, Bungling Burglar

Day 1

Why did I agree to this again? Oh, right, because Thorin Smokin'shield batted his eyelashes, and who can say no to that chiselled exterior, I mean seriously.

Day 2

Fuck my life.

Day 3

This pony is trying to kill me. I can sense it.

Day WHY IS THIS MY LIFE

THEY DIDN’T LET ME HAVE HANDKERCHIEFS AND NOW THEY TOOK THE FAKE ONE TOO

Day UGH

Screw you, trolls. Seriously, fuck you upside with a rusty frying pan. You nearly made me shit my trousers, and these are like MY ONLY GOOD PAIR OF FUCKING TROUSERS.

Day 42

Don’t. Panic.

Oh shit, I misplaced my towel.

I’m panicking.

I need more tea.

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