au where everything’s the same except Remus talks like an old southern woman.
“Harry, Harry… Bless your heart”
“Severus, I swear to the Lord, if you don’t shut your trap this instant, I’ll stick a sock in in for you”
*puts hands over Harry’s ears* “Little ears, you silly fucking asshat”
“Well, Harry, back when I was a boy”
*something happens* “Well, I never”
And who could forget:
“Sirius Black… Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit”
i have had the unfortunate opportunity to grow up in a part of the south, and i heard pretty much all of these things at some point in my life. i’m not exaggerating. feel free to add.