so I stand by the fire where it’s warm but that doesn’t stop the cold from seeping in. my skin is frozen and cracking. i can’t remember a time when my hands weren’t shaking.
“your stuff is in my car”
that hurt to hear her say.
when god turned 50 he put away the Bible and picked up a pack of cigarettes. we’ve been praying to his ashes like they’re going to save us but they only leave our hands melting and empty. he found a way to silence long before we found a way to shout.
there used to be less fear. i sleep with a nightlight and stuffed animal now. the anxiety claws up my throat still but it helps, i guess, to have something to hold.
“how was he?”
“casual,” she says.
i think about how I never really learned how to pray, how I never really learned how to confess. my sins hang heavy on my tongue but I keep my mouth closed.
there’s no heaven left anyway. no one is listening.
he’s a dead ringer for a saint but so is the devil– lily rain
what do you mean by "I wish they weren't headasses"
well lili is a known lesbophobe who loves to bait and make fun of beronica shippers and does everything to let us know that she and camila are “best friends” and nothing more (as if ppl ship them and not their characters….this girlie is stoopid) and camila’s not so bad but she has spent too much time with her and now lili’s headassery is brushing off on her as of late. tragic