I’ll return one day. In the meantime, I need to seriously repent and reflect. Until I become a human being who can face everyone confidently with a smile on my face. When I no longer am an anchor to everyone else’s happiness and continuously hurting myself in ways nobody but myself will ever notice. Until every little thing in my life no longer serves as a reminder that I still have sores in my heart or that I’m still capable of hatred and negative feelings because I don’t want to feel the defeated self kind of feelings instead. After all, tlist is all I have. I never thought I would leave because I never had the confidence to. You have become my horcrux and my soul is definitely damaged in the greatest way. I know everyone can go on without me. It’s not even a question. I am no biggie. It hurts me to leave but it hurts me to stay. I feel so lost and ashamed that I can’t belong the way I want to. I can’t even smile for you guys, the only ones I love so much. After the 28th, it made me fully comprehend how alone I am. I’ve been feeling and suppressing so much for I dont know whats sake, and I can’t scream out this pain. I need to close myself in before I end up hurting someone else. I don’t want tlist to become a broken memory because of the fragments I created. I lost too much already.
I hope this gets passed on from Amy or Courtney because this will be my last message. 🎈Always Keep The Faith🎈