Cigar, vice, and everything not nice; These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little Guardians for his cute, precious Tsu-kun! But Professor Iemitsu accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction because he’s no scientist: Vongola Sin Chemical XX. Thus the Variapuff Boys Girls were born. Using their ultra-super powers, Squalo, Belphegor, and Xanxus why are you Blossom trash I’m the boss Have dedicated their lives to fighting good And the forces of justice!
Dan dan dan dan dan dan dan
Chemical XX is Xanxus without the anus lol not Vongola Sin, just a different chemical infused with Wrath flames (Secondo’s blood, anyone?). Put Vongola Sin there because I was originally thinking Simon/Shimon as Powerpuff Girls but then again it’s not as amusing.
Here’s the list of roles. Pardon me, cannot bullet form the text because I typed it on mobile. This was hard to write.
Squalo, Belphegor, Xanxus: Blossom, Bubbles, & Buttercup respectively. Squalo is Blossom because long hair & can be bossy. Xanxus does not approve because why is he leader. They are not heroes. They are VILLAINS
Iemitsu: Professor Utonium. Made the Variapuff because he wanted to give Tsuna some Guardians but he messed up for (1) he’s no scientist and (2) he mistook Chemical XX (Secondo’s Blood) for Primo’s blood
Tsuna: Tsuna Nana/Decimo Momo Mojo Jojo. Doesn’t like his dad and is the one who actually fights crime. Every time he saves the day, he sort of messes up afterwards and ends up being the villain in the eyes of the citizens of Vongolaville while the Variapuff, who cleans up his mess, are hailed as heroes
Nono: useless Mayor. Xanxus hates him with the burning passion of a thousand suns. He thinks the Variapuff are heroes and calls them when there’s a crisis. He could have been fighting crime himself but someone stole the Vongola rings
Reborn: sexy long legs Ms. Bellum. Is the one who drags calls Tsuna to fight villains. Stole the Vongola rings and gave them to Tsuna. Tsuna is not aware they were stolen, nor that they belong to Nono. Used to be known as the World’s Greatest Hero. Retired.
Skull, Lambo, Dino: Amoeba boys. Most unsuccessful group of heroes ever, and does a lot of “heroic deeds” a.k.a. errands for people. Reborn’s forced minions. Dino is Bossman, Skull is Slim, and Lambo is Junior who is also Tsuna’s Guardian. They live with Romario, the sewer cleaner guy
Yamamoto, Gokudera, Ryohei: Crowding buff boys Rowdyruff Boys. Brick, Boomer, and Butch respectively. Tsuna’s loyal minions made of sugar, spice, and everything nice + Vongola Penalty. Tsuna made his own Guardians
Hibari: Fuzzy Lumpkins. Get off my property or I’ll bite you to death Guy who lives in the woods outside Vongolaville. Has a pet bird and a porcupine. Has tonfas named Nami and Mori. One of Tsuna’s un-made Guardian, along with Lambo, Chrome, and Mukuro
Lussuria: Sedusa, but he seduces no one because his victims are repulsed. Instead, he beats them up and fibs that he seduced them before beating their ass to the ground. There’s no proof but no one wants to oppose lest face his fists and have their asses handed to them
Mammon: Talking dog (for those not in the know, yes, the talking dog is a real character)
Fran: Mitch Mitchelson. Yes, he irritates everybody. And he is also the apprentice of one of the “villains”
Levi: Princess Morbucks. He desperately wants to be a part of the group but the Variapuff won’t let him. In his process of trying to help, he makes things harder for the trio
Simon/Shimon family: Gangreen Gang (with extras/substitute members). Enma is Ace, Julie is Snake, Shitt P. is Grubber, Kaoru is Big Billy, and Adelheid is Lil’ Arturo. Koyo and Rauji are their back-ups. Drank the Vongola Sin
Arcobaleno: The World’s Strongest Seven. They are retired heroes. Technically, Skull is a powerful hero, too, but he’s been out of the game for so long that when he came back (as a member of the Amoeba boys), he was downright pathetic
Nana: Ms. Keane. Who else could Nana be?
Kawahira: the Narrator and the mastermind of everything. Made sure Reborn could steal the rings, made Iemitsu mess up the Variapuff thing in spite of following very detailed instructions given by Verde, made sure Tsuna won’t mess up with the Vongola Penalty, and gave the Sin to Enma. A troll
Byakuran & the Funeral Wreaths: Us
You are free to call me Queen of Crack now.
This is wonderful. You are wonderful. The Variapuff! That’s a wonderful name. And poor Tsu-kun. Also, Bel as Bubbles? The joy and the laughter? pfft