*crying* You're so kind and smart! You deserve all the kind anons and good fortune in your future
HFIUERHG LISTEN I AM AS SMART AS AN EXPIRED STRAWBERRY???
Few things about me:
I didnt know dogs had whiskers until like a year ago. I cried when I found out.
I thought rotisserie chickens were fried chickens in lingerie???? People talked about eating them all the time and I pretended not to be weirded out like “oh hey why are you telling me this sir, I just met you.”
I have this odd fascination with hands to the point my boss was talking to me and I saw his hand on the table. And I legit went wide-eyed and slapped my hand on his and said loudly “BIG HANDS????” he laughed at me and just kept talking.
Im allergic to 100x things but i keep eatting them anyway.
I am deadly afraid of bananas. Their smell makes me RUN FAR AND FAST. Its promsien repellant
I HATED BEES. Until i watched 3 documentaries about them and now everytime I see a bee I cry. One flew into my lil starbucks bag and started eatting my blueberry muffin and I started crying and held the bag very still excitedly. My friend thought I lost it.
When I get bored around family I go to my dad and pat his belly like a bongo drum and I didn’t realize my older cousins (30s) were watching me. They are scared shitless of my dad cause he used to be in an indian mafia and kill people. But he is kind and soft with me???
I once got addicted to corn for 2 monthes. It was all I ate. My mother was ecastic because corn was like 4/$1.00 and she was saving money.
I also got addicted to blueberries. Im not allowed to eat them anymore because if I see ANY amount of blueberries I WILL EAT THEM!!!!!! (once ate 5 lbs at once 8^) )
“You have people come into your life shockingly and surprisingly. You have losses that you never thought you’d experience.You have rejection and you have learn how to deal with that and how to get up the next day and go on with it.”
Okay so i did not expect that big of a reaction for part one. To be exact, i didn’t expect a reaction at all, so thank you all :D and here’s part two of Ramen and the Angsty Boi: Mr. Beef’s Daring Coffee Choices. (no no that’s not the name please dont)
Virgil did not want to face another day of life and social interaction. Virgil wanted to curl up into a ball in the corner of his room and start contemplating all his life choices. Frankly, Virgil wanted to emo-ize fully and stay that way, but no, life didn’t work that way.
Groaning, the boy reached for his sounding alarm and soon discovered it was one of those days when your alarm would be just out of your reach and you’d spend three minutes groping at empty air before you finally smash your alarm with an alarming (see what I did there) amount of strength.
Then you wonder where that strength is when you try to open your bottle of Diet Coke but instead get a slightly skinned hand for the rest of your day.
“God…” Virgil mumbled, still blindly trying to hit the snooze. “damn…” Oh well, that photo frame was going to fall some day. “IT,” he yelped, reaching too far and tumbling off the bed and onto the floor in an undignified heap of angst.
“OKAY FINE, I’M UP,” he yelped to no one in particular.
Anxiety sighed. This was gonna be a long day.
“Welcome to Starbucks,” Virgil said, tapping his fingers on the counter with each word. “May I take your order?”
“Hi, yes, hello,” the person on the other side of the counter said, straightening his tie as if it was a habit. “I’d like a very simple black coffee, two cubes of sugar, and a chocolate brownie, warmed.”
“Oookay, will do,” Virgil muttered. “Name?”
“Logan,” he said.
“Logan…” Anxiety repeated, scrawling down the name on the cup. “Gotcha. That’ll be five bucks.”
After handing Logan the change, Virgil tossed the cup to his co-worker and turned back to his next customer. “Welcome to Starbu- oh.”
“Heyo, friendo,” Roman said, grinning and leaning over the counter.
“Hi,” Virgil said flatly. “person that I’ve met before. Would you like to order something?”
“Yes, actually, a venti iced skinny hazelnut macchiato, sugar-free syrup, extra shot, light ice, and no whip, would be nice,” the still ridiculously dressed male said, smirking.
Virgil blinked slowly. “I’m sorry, you lost me at ‘sugar free syrup’.”
Roman shrugged. “It is what it is. I’m a naturally creative person.”
“Naturally creative, my ass,” Anxiety mouthed under his breath. “Name?” he asked, louder.
“Roman,” the other said, slowly. “That’s R. O. M. A. N, mind you.”
“Right. Ramen,” Virgil said, scribbling the name down.
“No, no, no,” Roman said. “Look, repeat after me. R…”
“R…” Virgil repeated, deciding to amuse him.
“Roman!” Roman exclaimed, spreading his arms in a regal manner and smiling.
“Ramen!” Virgil exclaimed, spreading his arms as well, mocking the other’s demeanor.
“Really?” Roman’s expression was the equivalent of deadpan.
“Your drink will be ready in a few minutes, while we scramble to find your sugar-free syrup,” Virgil said, crossing out ‘Ramen’ on the cup and quickly writing a name. “Eight bucks and twenty one cents.”
“A…” the barista squinted at the drink in her hand before clearing her throat and continuing, with no small amount of difficulty. “A venti iced skinny hazelnut macchiato with sugar-free syrup, extra shot, light ice, and no whip, for Mr… Beef.”
Roman sighed, a sound of the long-suffering, and glared at Virgil before grabbing the cup.
Virgil smirked back, winking. “Enjoy your sugar free syrup-ed drink!” he called.
“naturally creative, my ass” is going on my resume
oh, by the way, my stories will be going under the tag… (i suck at this)
#fire wrote a lil something
i wanna write more schtuff in the future so why not? :D
To be fair, you need a very high IQ to be able to understand XXXTENTACION. The lyricism is really subtle, and without a solid grasp of complex lyricism and vocabulary, most of the rhymes go over the average listener’s head. There’s also X’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterization- his personal philosophy draws heavily from WORLDSTAR literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these lyrics, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike XXXTENTACION truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in X’s existential catchphrase “I took a white bitch to Starbucks / That lil bitch got her throat fucked” which itself is a cryptic reference to being a depressed, violent pseudo-philosophical misogynist. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as X’s genius wit unfolds itself through their speakers. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂
And yes, by the way, i DO have a REVENGE tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎
I apologise for the slightly late post here, yesterday was a rather busy day. I went down to the uni for the first time (I study in the college, but it’s a uni course). Logged into the computers with my uni login details which was exciting. I spent some time in the library and found where the counselling books were. And of course I had to try out their own lil Starbucks, we don’t even have one in town!