likely not even on purpose but he totally was

Ok but can we talk about how the Paladin’s bayards don’t just suit them, but actually ARE them? THE BAYARD PICKS THE PALADIN, MR. POTTER.

The bayards are frankly the coolest metaphorical device happening in this show and I haven’t seen anyone talk about it yet (I’m sure someone has, but I feel like it’s not really… a thing??), and if my major has taught me any(useless)thing it’s to get stuck on functional motifs in storytelling so

Keith

I mean this is just fun. You’re probably not surprised that he gets the big blade because he’s main-character-red and the emo/possibly-Asian-one, but let’s consider a few things: 

The fact that it’s sharp on both sides acts as a physical reminder of the duality happening within his character (he cuts others down, but internally he’s cutting himself down just as much: a double-edged sword). 

Furthermore, that double edge reminds us that it’s a loner’s weapon: he needs to be able to attack with each swing, in any direction, because no one’s coming to back him up. It may be space, but dude is clearly rockin’ the lone wolf/samurai vibe. The length backs that up a bit as well–it keeps everyone he sees as an ‘enemy’ or a ‘rival’ at a distance (//side-eye @ lance). 

What’s even more interesting is that if you look at Keith’s relationship with his bayard compared to his Marmora blade, they represent his hidden and public selves: who people see him as/expect him to be vs. who he truly is and wants to be (is afraid to be) himself. 

Most people only see his bayard, a classic warrior/knight weapon that represents strength and grace and leadership. Keith brings this out in battle, in front of his friends, before enemies, etc. But when he’s alone at night or when he’s holed up in the desert, the blade on his mind and in his hand is his Marmora dagger. Despite being a secret for so long, it is actually this blade (and not the bayard he got from Voltron) which Keith always keeps close to him (and which he keeps strictly concealed). 

He covers up the mark on the hilt as if to cover his own hidden thoughts and feelings (and maybe even dubious past). In public, he feels he can proudly show his bayard but doesn’t want anyone to know he has the dagger, even before he himself knows what it might mean. 

Even more interestingly, this blade also represents close combat–letting people get close to you–and the desire to protect others, showing that these are things Keith thinks about, feels, and even wants, but is afraid to show to those around him. What’s more, while the obvious skills and general cool-dude-ness associated with the bayard are something Keith has earned/achieved by his own merit, the Marmora dagger (and all the things it represents) were something he was born with; something inherently part of him. Ironically, once Keith learns more about his dagger and what it represents, it becomes longer–it adds distance, just as the truth about his past puts distance between him and the other paladins.

Like, I could literally (gladly) write an entire essay just on the symbolism of how Keith treats these blades, but you get the idea. 

I was gonna do Shiro next but his is even sadder than Keith’s so let’s do

Pidge

So some things about this are obvious: it bears a (kind of adorable similarity) in shape to her head. It’s small, she’s small, but if you underestimate either of them you will be sorry. It’s an incredibly quick/nimble weapon (a great parallel for her stinging wit). Her bayard is designed for quick, surgically precise movements, which is exactly how Pidge works (both mentally and metaphorically).

However, while it has great attack capabilities, that’s clearly not the bayard’s (or Pidge’s) main purpose; it’s a necessary consequence in the pursuit of other goals. Rather, the transformative and flexible uses of Pidge’s bayard emphasize the desire to be useful and to solve problems over attacking. This is belied by the fact that Pidge forms Voltron’s shield. Pidge would much rather think her way out of/around a problem than charge in head-first

Her bayard is a reflection of that. Pidge’s bayard is also the most technically complicated, which is another great parallel for her mind. Furthermore, the grappling hook function of her bayard echoes her desire to find things out of reach, and cast out into space and bring those things close to her, or herself to them (*cough*MATT*cough*). 

TL;DR: it’s an all-purpose, unassuming weapon meant to perform multiple tasks in an efficient, creative way, and it focuses on problem solving/extraction more than brute attack (though it packs plenty of punch when cornered). And, of course, though she be but little, she is fierce.

Lance

As his swagger (and even his name, like talk about being on the nose) suggests, Lance is totally in-your-face, up-in-your-business blabbermouth who seems pretty simple to understand. So why does he have the weapon that arguably requires the most finesse, patience, and also has a long range? Because that’s what Lance is really like under all that talk. It may seem like Lance lives with the words “are we there yet” on his tongue, but consider this: Lance wanted to be a pilot, but was originally relegated to commercial-class ranks. Did that stop him? Nope. He kept at it until he made it to the top of those ranks (it’s safe to assume that if they only promoted one pilot to fighter-class after Keith’s expulsion, it would be the top of the commercial-class students). That’s more patience than any of the other paladins have shown.

As a gun in a team that has close-combat weapons, Lance’s bayard automatically assumes a supportive role (despite all his talk about beating Keith and being the best), and we see this multiple times throughout the show. His first day as a fighter-class pilot, what does Lance do? Talks to his team and says they should stick together. How does he find out about Shiro? He’s following Pidge and asking about what she’s up to–crazy theories that others wouldn’t care to hear out. There are a lot of other examples of this (notably, when he throws himself in front of Coran), but from the get-go we’re slyly shown that Lance actually cares about and pays attention to those around him (even though he keeps talking about kicking their butts and being #1). It makes sense, then, that his weapon would be one designed to support and provide cover for others. In fact, we see Lance doing exactly this in the first episode when Pidge mouths off and he rushes in to cover for her.

Sadly, as one of the longer-range weapons, Lance’s bayard is also one of the loneliest metaphors in the group, and we see the reason for this just as much in VLD: Lance doesn’t feel appreciated (or sometimes even accepted) by the people around him. He often feels distant, though not by choice. He may shoot (ha) his mouth off a lot, but at the end of the day it’s pretty apparent that this boy craves love and attention, almost as much as he wants to be perceived as a ‘top gun’ (double ha) within the group.

A gun–especially the rapid-fire type that Lance has–further mirrors his tendency to be impulsive (and even impetuous) rather than controlled and thoughtful. On the bright side, though, it is exactly that willingness to pull the trigger that has catapulted the gang forward on a number of occasions.

Shiro

Between Shiro’s arm and his bayard there are so many different things going on here I don’t even know how I can touch on all of them. If I could write an essay on Keith’s weapons, I could write a BOOK on Shiro’s.

First, let’s talk about Shiro’s actual bayard. In Zarkon’s hands, you can read this as a physical extension of Shiro’s freedom, or even as Shiro himself: Zarkon took the bayard–something meant to be used for good–from another world, and then warped it in the hopes of using it to cause destruction. 

The good news is that both Shiro and the bayard escape Zarkon’s clutches because of Voltron, and though Zarkon intended to use them, they instead become the strongest weapons to fight against him. They will always feel the effects of Zarkon’s influence and ownership–the bayard because of Zarkon’s former paladin connections, and Shiro because of his arm and PTSD–but they still fight. In the end, it is Zarkon’s obsession with them as his former ‘possessions’ that becomes his downfall. So deep is his trauma that Shiro actually waits until it looks like they’re about to die (when Voltron is in an electric headlock) to activate his bayard. Why? Because he doesn’t trust his arm, he doesn’t trust his hold on the bayard or the lion (don’t even get me STARTED on how the lion–down it’s right-hand weapon and still somewhat under Zarkon’s control–represents Shiro himself), and as a result he doesn’t trust himself to be stronger than Zarkon. 

Even when Shiro finally gets the bayard back, he doesn’t call it his bayard, or the black bayard; he calls it Zarkon’s bayard (and it looks the part). This can be seen as a mirror for how Shiro sees himself: even though it’s a bayard, Zarkon tainted it, and now it doesn’t belong to him even though it’s rightfully his and he has it in his hands (which, ironically, is still technically Zarkon’s hand… you get the picture).

However, as Keith corrects him (”you’ve got your bayard”), the bayard rejects the changes Zarkon forced upon it, and reverts to a form that matches Shiro and the other paladins (likely how it looked before Zarkon started using it for evil). Just as the paladins healed Shiro by rescuing him and making him part of Voltron, Shiro does the same for the black bayard. Indeed, he only pulls out the power necessary to retrieve the black bayard once he wakes up to find the team fighting to protect him. It might be telling symbolically that Shiro leaves his bayard behind when he goes missing at the end of the season–perhaps he’s won his freedom only to have it taken once again.

 Which leads me to… 

The black bayard could also represent Shiro’s memories: both are known to exist, and we get hints/flashes/teases throughout the show, but both are initially “lost”. Slowly, it is revealed just how both Shiro’s bayard and his memories have been taken/corrupted by Zarkon. We see this in the way Shiro’s memories haunt him, only to frustratingly elude  him when he needs them. When Shiro finally tries to find out more about why Zarkon has the bayard, he’s also facing his own mind–his memories, his insecurities, and his apprehension at what fate awaits him–as well.  In this sense, when Shiro reclaims the black bayard, he is also reclaiming so much more: the hold/fear Zarkon held over him, the insufficiency and anxiety he felt because of it, etc. 

You can also read the bayard as a mirror for Shiro’s arm: Zarkon took Shiro’s arm and replaced it with something Galran. Shiro joins Voltron only to find that Zarkon also has his metaphorical right hand–his weapon. Shiro can’t use the weapon he should be holding (in a hand he doesn’t have because of Zarkon) because Zarkon took it. Talk about a vicious cycle. This symbolism is supported all through season 1 and parts of season 2 where we see Shiro simultaneously struggle with controlling Zarkon’s lasting effects on Voltron and coming to grips (ha) with controlling his arm. It’s hinted–both during battle and through PTSD–that if Shiro doesn’t control his arm, it will control him, just as Zarkon demonstrates that if Shiro can’t reclaim the bayard, Zarkon will use it to kill him (we see a similar parallel with his memories). 

I’m just going to stop here because the black bayard and Shiro’s arm can represent so many different things that it totally distracts me and I can only really do it justice by literally sitting down and writing out a full on dissertation on it.

But TL;DR: Shiro’s arm and his bayard are in a crazy, soap-opera drama with Zarkon on so many different levels and it is symbolistically incredible.

Hunk

Hunk’s bayard, much like Hunk, is pretty straight-forward and simple. Physically, it’s a big weapon. A big, hulking (Hunking????) weapon. It looks incredibly imposing, but its chief function isn’t destruction, but preventing destruction. Just as Hunk likes to avoid violence, his canon is mostly used to disable enemy weapons as part of Voltron, and individually Hunk uses it to provide long-range cover fire for his team (when he tries to use it in a more actively combative role, he just ends up almost shooting Pidge… gg, Hunk). 

Unlike Lance’s more nimble and quick-fire weapon, Hunk’s takes a lot of strength to move around and a long time to power up–this mirrors Hunk’s own well-rooted stance (he’s not easily swayed), and his cautious nature. He doesn’t do things off-the-cuff or on a whim; he thinks them through first. Indeed, it’s almost always Hunk warning the others of the possible outcomes of their proposed escapades. 

He’s also slow to anger, just as his weapon is slow to fire. However, once he has decided to take a shot, his firepower is incredible, just as when he does decide to take action (like with the Balmerans), his will is unstoppable. 

I could go on for days, guys. I have so much stuff I had to cut out because even the hardcorest Voltron fans don’t care about underlying motifs this much, I know, but AGH. GUYS. GUYS. THE BEAUTY??? OF THIS WRITING??? IN A KIDS’ SHOW????? 

Bless.

PS this is long I didn’t proof read it SO SUE ME

anonymous asked:

is it just me or the guy from "The Strange Disappearance of D.B. Cooper" is very coulson-like??? i need smt to be whipped up and presented abt it, preferably with as much words as possible

Well, it sounds like you’re the one to do it, Anon! :D I don’t know if The Strange Disappearance of DB Cooper is a tv show, documentary, movie, or if you’re just referring to the story of DB Cooper – I’m familiar with the story, but I don’t know which retelling you’re referencing. (I googled but “the strange disappearance of DB cooper” is the title of like half of the stuff made about him.)

But to get you thinking, I suspect the resemblance between the DB Cooper sketch and Coulson is not entirely unintentional. Coulson’s character design evokes the Men In Black (the original cryptid version from alien abduction retellings, the Mothman encounters, &etc, not the media franchise), and more generally implies the Anonymous White Bureau-Auto-crat, a man as nondescript as possible because the work he does is as anonymous as possible. He’s meant to be the secret weapon who looks like the cog in the machine. The flat conservative hairstyle, generic white-male face (sorry Clark Gregg, you have a quite attractive generic white-male face), suit, and sunglasses serve the same purpose in both Coulson’s design and DB Cooper’s appearance: to simultaneously present an air of authority and an air of anonymity. I believe the sunglasses were added in Thor, but even in the first Iron Man film he was painted as a dangerous man who intentionally presents as a harmless bureaucrat.

DB Cooper’s insane stunting combined with his total anonymity – we don’t know where he came from or what happened to him – was an exceptionally powerful icon in the seventies especially, when the story dominated the headlines. It’s not out of the question that the image of DB Cooper contributed materially to our culture’s view of the power of anonymity, which in turn influenced Coulson’s character design. 

voltron blogging headcanons

so @brettanomycroft​ and i were talking about stuff. 90% of this is her tbh and it’s too good not to share:

  • the paladins totally have a bunch of abandoned blogs back on earth 
  • Lance had a makeup blog
  • Hunk had a food blog
  • Pidge was a reddit gremlin

Keith: I  never blogged.
Lance: Bullshit!
Pidge: Yeah, I bet you ran one of those lizard people conspiracy blogs. Orgon blasters, crystal, Illuminati, the whole nine yards

  • Plot twist: Keith actually used to run a super popular aesthetic blog
  • Lance was a huge follower and tried to emulate it
  • (Keith also had  a secret side blog about knives, but like, super aesthetic knives. With super pretty handles and holsters)
  • Hunk really misses his food blog and wishes he could blog in space

Pidge: “I didn’t have a blog, but I once got over 1000 reddit gold for a shitpost I made”

Pidge: “I was on the front page for 48 straight hours”

Shiro: “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

Pidge: “You poor, beautiful child”

  • Shiro didn’t blog, he was blogged about
  • It turns out that Shiro ended up on each of their blogs at some point
  • Keith, being the one who knew him best, did it on purpose for part of the aesthetic blog
  • But Lance and Hunk? Totally unintentional
  • Lance sees Shiro and snags a picture and is like “How is this man’s complexion so even??”
  • Hunk is at a restaurant and Shiro’s in the background of his photo
  • Pidge’s shitpost involves both Matt and Shiro
  • And they all realize:
  • “Shiro… you’re an internet god
  • Takashi “I don’t even know how to check my email” Shirogane, folks

Shiro: “None of this matters now because we’re in space”

anonymous asked:

1,18,&19????

1. “Oh my God. You’re in love with her.”

a/n: whoop whoop some college shawn comin @ ya


“So, uh, what’s been going on with you and Y/n?” Brian asks Shawn from across the pingpong table. The boys were never ones to get deep or gush like girls, but after the way Shawn had been attached at the him to you lately, someone had to ask him about it. 

“Nothin’ man, she’s just really cool and funny.” Shawn brushes off, smacking the ball back to Brian, but missing the table completely. 

“Yeah, okay. Whatever you say, man.” Brian teases. 


Keep reading

Okay but here’s how I see it- Adrian is Rosa’s Teddy and Milton is Gina’s Sophia

Let me explain:

On the surface, and even beneath the surface- Teddy and Adrian are totally different people. Complete opposites, if you will. But for Amy and Rosa? They serve the same purpose- the ones who seem Just Perfect but at the same time, not really.

Teddy’s like Amy in the way that he’s very organized and likes supposedly “nerdy” stuff such as police codes and binders. Extreme Amy, if you will. But ultimately, Teddy wasn’t the person Amy wanted, or needed. Deep down they weren’t similar in the right ways. Amy wanted to become the youngest police captain on the force, Teddy wanted to brew and bottle pilsners.

Teddy was nice but he was too boring, to quote Amy. Too tame. Yet, Jake could always be counted on to make Amy laugh, and he could challenge her and he could cater to her competitive streak because he had one of his own.

Likewise, Adrian is like that for Rosa. They both like… Nancy Myers and… knives? Honestly I don’t even know. But they share similarities, and Sketchy Adrian just seems Perfect for Rosa, doesn’t he?

Except- Rosa’s been mentioning Adrian less and less, actually not at all for most of the second half of the season, and while she’s been maintaining some semblance of her love for him this episode with her “yeah I just want him to be happy” and “good looking guy, weird energy” it’s all falling flat- especially when he starts snorting cocaine on purpose and gets all… high, to say the least.

Sorry, but that doesn’t look like someone who’s mildly amused by the love of her life.

Also the way she fiddles with that cocaine knife when he starts getting hyped up makes her seem scarily angry or at the very least annoyed??

Sure, Adrian means well and he does love Rosa a lot- but how long can Rosa tell herself that that’s enough?

Rosa is a “badass but not an anarchist”. Adrian would kill a child if said child was a “dick”. Not trying to say that makes Adrian problematic or anything, this is a comedy and he said that for comedic purposes- Jason Mantzoukas is amazing and honestly cracks me up a bunch. But fundamentally, Rosa and Adrian have different rules, and that sets them apart in ways that will ultimately make them incompatible in the long run.

She chose the Nine-Nine and left him in Argentina by himself. Even faced with the prospect of fifteen years in jail she chose her family over a fresh start in Argentina with no scorpions/too many scorpions. He wasn’t enough.

On the other hand- when Jake first met Sophia, she seemed amazing and just the right fit for him. She was fun, witty, loved Die Hard, and was all around amazing. Except… not. They came into conflict over their jobs, and ultimately saw the world in different ways. Sophia also wasn’t as committed to their relationship as Jake was.

I’m not saying that Milton is gonna walk out on Gina- far from it. Dude is a Good and Decent guy who seems to genuinely make Gina happy. He’s a BOYLE. They all say “i love you” to each other constantly. Of course he’s a great guy who wouldn’t walk out on the mother of his child, just look at him:

And I’m not going to pretend that snowboarding, melted-snow-donating Milton isn’t exactly what Gina needs right now. He’s sweet and affectionate and he spontaneously dances with Gina. Obviously they’re on the same page baby name wise (side note: THE ENIGMA/ENIGMO IS A SUPER DOPE NAME).

But… how long can Gina be content with someone who, put simply- probably wouldn’t challenge her in many ways? And possibly, maybe not even in any way. We don’t know that much about Milton yet, but from what I’ve gathered, about him and Boyles in general, he’ll likely end up always doing Gina’s bidding and going along with her every whim.

Which, again, is what Gina needs right now. She’s had a tough year, where she got hIT BY A BUS and was legally dead for two minutes- the girl could use a break!! And in Rosa’s words, “After she got hit by a bus, no one can say no to her.”

Sadly, I’m not sure a submissive Yes-man is what Gina wants or needs in the long run. Gina does best when she feels the need to prove herself, and admittedly at times she can go a little bit overboard and she needs to be reined in.

Milton’s a kind and precious dude, and of all the horrible men in this world that could possibly father Gina’s child (Gina’s pregnancy squick is another matter, but maybe you lose all fear after getting run over by a bus idk), I’m glad he’s the baby daddy. (Sorry for saying baby daddy)

But once Gina gets over how cool snow boarding, winter apparel, impromptu dinners, and having similar thoughts on baby names are- she’ll find herself yearning for more.

She’ll find herself yearning for someone who can pleasantly surprise her in ways she won’t expect, someone who brings something new to the table, someone who can easily rile her up but also be her best companion.

I’m glad Gina and Rosa are both at the very least content with their romantic partners right now- but this isn’t their endgame. Not to me, at least.

anonymous asked:

Which characters do you think would most likely wear a matching onesie with their s/o? I have no idea where this came from except that I'm currently wearing my own onesie. 😂

We have a secret for you, anon… Us admins had extensive onesie headcanons long before you sent this in. This was just fun to write, though! 
~Admins Emma, Alyx and Ellie


Asahi: You got him a Totoro onesie for his birthday; it was about 50% a joke, but it backfired, because he’s addicted to the thing. Suga makes fun of him and Noya judges the hell out of him but he doesn’t even care because he’s toasty as hell and he looks adorable, so there! The fact that it was a gift from you? Even better; plus it gives him extra excuses for extra cuddles, so it’s fantastic. It doesn’t really fit all that well, considering how tall and broad he is, but he doesn’t really care, so long as he’s comfortable.

Bokuto: Super pumped always. Super into cheesy matching stuff either way, but in his opinion, nothing beats a super cozy onesie. It’s cliche as hell, but he definitely has an owl one (he’s committed to his aesthetic). Problem is no matter what he does, it’s about two sizes too small in the shoulders and too short on the arms and legs, so he always has to roll his up and leave it a bit open on the collar. #Baraproblems

Kuroo: Nya, bitches! He wears his cat onesie with fucking pride and he’ll fight you if you say anything about it. Kuroo is social, studious, and dedicated as hell, so he’s out and about 90% of his life. When he has a day with just you, he refuses to human and just burritos in his cozy-ass onesie with coffee and Disney movies. If you manage to special-order one to fit his titan ass, he will be forever grateful.

Oikawa: Let’s be honest, he’s at least partly into it just for the cutesy couple selfie. To be fair, though, the two of you do look absolutely adorable. Besides, the things are cozy. What better to curl up in and watch alien movies with you? (Oikawa does have about a foot of ankle sticking out at the bottom, but that’s what his extensive sock collection is for.)

Ushijima: Honestly, he is down for just about anything you’re into, and if it’s matching onesies, then he won’t fight you. He might not 100% get it, but he must admit the thing is comfortable. Sadly, it is so small on him, he basically has to pull the ankle cuffs right under his knees, which sort of defeats the purpose, but all the better to admire those calves, really. Even if he totally overwhelms the little cow onesie you got him (“Ah, because the first character in my name means “cow.” I get it.”) he looks totally precious and is 100% down for snuggles no matter the wardrobe choices, so everything is great by his standards.

Tendou: Pokemon onesies, anyone? It really doesn’t matter which pokemon, Tendou will love it. However, he’ll look entirely too adorable in a pikachu one–his hair matches the cheek spots. Okay so maybe it’s like 50% adorable and 50% ridiculous, but you love him for it. Even when he keeps saying ‘pika pika!’ even after you told him that it was funny the first fifty times, Satori. It’s still worth it though, because eventually he will actually stop, and you get to enjoy the coziest, toastiest cuddles ever.

Dom & Letty 3.0 - FOTF

“You will never be alone again.

I vow wherever you go, I go.

You ride, I ride.

You fight, I fight.

And if you ever die on me Dominic Torreto, I’m gonna die with you..”

Those were Letty’s vows to her husband the night they got married and this movie presents them in action. In part 6 we got to see Dom fight not only for her but for their love, having to captivate her all over again. Now here in part 8 the roles have been flipped and its Letty’s turn to either fall in line with others thoughts or fight for her husband. The difference in their battles is the fact that Dom was fighting for a resurface of memories and their undeniable draw/chemistry – while for Letty it’s about faith. The question of would Dom do this, would he turn his back on his family…on her, and when all the evidence says yes, does she still have the power to say no. How much does she know her husband, how much does she trust him and their love. She comes through with flying colors.

Like I said even though this is a flip, there are big differences, one of those being knowledge of enemy. Dom knew who his enemy was, he knew what had went wrong with her and who was using that for his own purposes. But Letty doesn’t have this same knowledge. She doesn’t know who the big bad is or why Dom is doing things that are totally against everything he is. That’s where the faith comes into play, because she has to everything off the back of it. Despite others telling her that this may be who he has become she has to go off of what she believes of him and their love and remind them of all the great things her husband has done for them while they’re so quick to give up on or judge him. She reminds us of her position and exactly where her loyalties reside when she responds to Hobbs by telling him that he’ll have to deal with the both of them when he warns her that he may have to put Dom down. She’s not just willing to fight for him, but beside him – and that’s not in the hope that he’s still good, but in the certainty that something else is going on because her Dom would never turn his back, the fight for the family is all he’s ever known. You know its certainty because she places her life in his hands. In the briefcase scene there was this great subtext moment because here’s the reality, that moment after he shot the gun in the air and she turned around and told him that he wouldn’t shoot her because he loved her…this moment really was about choosing – he had a choice, stop her and his baby survived another day. Let her go free and choose losing that. He let her go. It doesn’t matter that she got caught unaware around the corner by someone else…because he let her go. The next scene – the standoff – is also important because here he is again choosing to protect his wife with the knowledge of what it will cost him if he shoots this man. Not only that, but it comes back to that faith again. Because this moment is really her time to prove if she believes her husband is doing this for a reason or because he’s turned bad. She has to either side with him (let the case go) or keep it and get the other guy a bullet to the head – putting Dom in further hot water (it doesn’t matter that she doesn’t know exactly what that hot water is, only that she’s aware of its existence if she believes her husband to be innocent).

In one of my old Dotty articles I claimed that Dom had elevated in his Alpha status, that he had become the kind to analysis his enemy then to plot and plan.  That his control was of self and his lead was of understanding his mates and those around him. This chapter really proved those claims. He planned and adjusted to everything that happened (which I’ll go over in more detail in the review). The only thing he really couldn’t plan or adjust for was his wife. As they say – a driver’s weakness really is his best partner knowing all his tricks. She was the only one able to keep up with him cause she knew his tricks, when she got the briefcase he couldn’t adjust and ended up choosing her not once but twice which led to the punishment of Elena dying (not that I shed a tear – I knew she was gonna die the moment I saw that baby). The enemy’s biggest mistake was thinking it was an either or game with Dom – not realizing that he plays the long game his plan would be getting his child and going back to his wife…instead what she did was taunt the him with one (Letty) and bait his with the other (baby Brian). Big mistake leaving Letty out of her equation because she left something out there to fight for him and for him to fight for. She thought the baby would over compass that, she thought the baby would shadow his wife – she was wrong. It not about choosing the baby over Letty/family – it’s about connecting the two.  

I see people saying things like the baby ruined the relationship, it ruined Dom/Letty. No the baby may have ruined the fantasy as you saw it…but he didn’t ruin that relationship. Every one of their chapters has shown that nothing comes between that love because that love is the factor. Letty is not bothered, or upset by this child…and why would she be? It wasn’t something that intentionally happened and when she told Elena that she understood her relationship with Dom, she actually meant it. The baby wasn’t/isn’t a threat to her marriage. It doesn’t mean Dom was in love with Elena, cause he wasn’t. It doesn’t mean that Letty can’t have her own kids with him, cause she can. It doesn’t mean she’s gonna mistreat baby Brian, cause even though he may not have come from her womb – he is still a part of her husband and like him family means everything to her. It doesn’t mean that their kids will take second place just because it came second – understand that there will be no distinction between these kids. Understand that just because this baby didn’t come out of her womb doesn’t mean he’s not her son too. That’s what the Fast & Furious has always been about –a family created not by blood but by bond. Dom and Letty are now parents – maybe not in the way we originally thought/wanted, but in a way that’s not wrong regardless.

One of my favorite things about this series and about this relationship is everyone understands that when it comes to Dom and Letty – the shit that’s between them is undeniable and there’s no walking away from it. When they reunite and he lets her know he hadn’t walked away, she says she knows. Dom and Letty see themselves as soulmates, as bonded, as ride or die. Whatever you wanna call it, it all means the same thing -Love- They’ll follow, they’ll ride, they’ll fight, and they’ll die for it. Isn’t that the ideal, isn’t that why we clamor for it, why we cling to and love it?  

We’ve gushed at their cuteness/power, we cried when she died, we cheered with a blood of vengeance when Dom sought revenge, we fought for the Letty comeback, and we all gasped and gave a standing O when we all saw Letty’s pic after the credits, we died and came back to life when Dom fought for her, their love and their future. We threw our hat into this ring a long time ago and I don’t know about you guys, but mine still resides there and always will as long as the franchise holds close those ideals that are so dear to me - Loyalty, Love, Family, Romance and the sacrifice/fight in the name of those things. As long as it centers and protects the Dotty goodness. Familia remember that we fought for this shit right here. Our OTP’s love is written all over this piece and that is in part thanks to us fans. Romance is thrown to the side in action flicks, used to create some angst by killing off one of the lovers or back-filler that gets no real shine.  But with F&F we get it all, the action, the romance, the family. Sixteen years and the pairing is only getting stronger. I loved this movie because it really defined the love this time around. I don’t just mean romantic love either. It really put the quote ‘you don’t turn you back on family…’ to work, because even though some of them had been misjudging Dom the moment his life was in danger – what did they do? Every time I think they can’t emote further, that they can’t make me feel more about the emotion that resides in these films and yet every time I’m wrong. With the Dom and Letty relationship when I say it defined the love…I mean it really cemented what love means to them – as a pairing not just from Dom to Letty. If I had to pick one word to describe their type of love it would be faith. We’ve seen the trait throughout their relationship over the years and in a big way in part 7 when he let her go on the faith that she would figure it out and come back to him (cause you can’t tell someone they love you). Like I said earlier, it’s her total being in this film - because their faith in one another is so strong, so is the certainty of their love. The reason they can trust one another so immensely, the reason they’re so loyal to one another, the reason they’re so willing to sacrifice, the reason they make each other so damn happy is because of that certainty. They give and know its to be returned with the same passion. They love each other and they always will. It’s the reason they work, the reason they always find themselves together. It’s the reason they’re so indestructible. It’s the reason we’re so damn blessed.


Notes: Videos not mine first one is Queen of hearts and the second is of course one of my all time favs - you know I always gotta in with a ConquerGravity video because the vids are just so damn on point to what I’m getting at. Every time I see a ConGrav vidseo it always makes me see a bigger picture of what I think and feel about this pairing and they’re relationship. None of the videos are new cause the new film just came out but oldies can make you feel new things. I didn’t put everything in this post because I am coming out with a review of the movie and theres a lot of points that connect to that so I stripped this down and left it as bare as possible. I went and saw the advance showing…but I’m going again tonight to see it so I’ll write the review after and hopefully have it up by later Sunday night. Sorry this is so long with no images…

Other Dotty / Vincelle Works:

Dotty Ship Awareness Part 1 / Dotty Ship 2Dotty NonCasual /Future Wishes for F&F / Vincelle Actor Relate Awareness

Other Fast and Furious Post(s):

Brian & Dom

fight-me-boi  asked:

Johsnavi headcanons?

LIKE WHERE DO I BEGIN!? CAN WE EXCHANGE HCS PLZ? INDULGE ME FRIEND


Johan totally starts doing yoga at the park and without even really meaning to he starts a following, mostly middle age white women who find him really attractive. 
They all start herding around him and join in for his yoga.
Usnavi very purposely delivers Johan coffee and mumbles all grumpy “NICE TO SEE YOU MI AMOR” and watches the disappointment flood their faces. 

Usnavi is great with kids, when Benny and Nina have a kid, Usnavi is totally the godfather and does the cute baby talk when he’s babysitting. 
Johan was never into kids but he takes one look at Usnavi baby talking and giggling with this baby in his arms and he melts. Literally next time their laying in bed he’s like “What to adopt some poor child off the coast [insert 3rd world tiny country] and Usnavi just dies


FIRST TIME AT PRIDE, ok imagine Usnavi not sure how to act or dress, so he’s all casual at his first pride parade meanwhile Johan goes all out. He’s in booty shorts and topless, has tiny rainbow flags stuck in his hair. Usnavi eventually buys a big rainbow flag and has that moment of identity. Now when he thinks about his bandera he has two flags proudly displayed in his store

(don’t get me started with nsfw stuff I HAVE PLENTY)

Bad Writing in OUAT: or, why the season six finale felt wrong

One thing I noticed about OUAT throughout the first several seasons was that there seemed to be a pattern of a character trying to achieve a goal, failing, and then achieving it through some other action. It was actually something pretty consistent for a while on the show, and even when it was done badly, I kind of liked it.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

season 4 concept: vilde wears the gay Jesus shirt

aMAZING, YES, 

ok but ??? i’m taking this concept as an evilde prompt alrigt?? is that cool wit u?? (how will she do that, with that concept?, you ask, well, listen, listen up, listen here friend, amigo, buddy, i will tell you, lstne)

there’s a party at kollektivet. ok. a bunch of ppl end up crashing and spending the night there, vilde included. the night was fun, but most of the few who slept over feel shit awful in the morning. she wakes up tangled up w/ eva ofc, but eva is sleeping like a log and there’s not enough room on the sofa for vilde to sit there comfortably awake and her arm’s gone numb under eva’s weight so she just Excuses Herself.

thing is, she can’t really remember last night too well. but she’s pretty sure eva came onto her again. and that’s not a problem! that is. super, super far from a problem. the problem is: eva is still seeing chris. and. she does not know. which of these two… habits. is the serious one. is the one that means something. (if any of them even do mean something.) and thinking about that is way too much for a hungover saturday morning in a trashed living room, especially not with eva wrapped around her like that, so yeah. she leaves. she gets up and goes. not gonna think about that right now. 

even is around in the morning, too. he’s maybe making coffee, waiting for isak to wake up. (he always handles hangovers a lot better than isak does, and besides, he’s paying a bit more attention to how much he drinks these days. so he didn’t get wasted or anything. he’s just a bit sleepy.)

vilde meets him in the kitchen. they have casual, quiet conversation; vilde vaguely aware that it’s probably the first time she’s spoken to even without isak or friends around, but also vaguely aware that she’s just sort of Looming w/o a real purpose and doesn’t even find that weird (are they close enough for that to be not-awkward yet?), and she’s aware that she doesn’t remember if even saw any of the things that happened last night with eva, and aware that there’s wine spilled down the dress which she’s still wearing the morning after– but even is totally unfazed. he just offers coffee. which she declines, of course (black coffee??? no thanks). but even is good with conversations, vilde notices? which is great for her, honestly, because as much as vilde likes to be social and in control of her social relationships - god, she feels bad this morning. thanks even. for letting her just. lean against the counter and not have to do anything. for asking her if there’s any kosegruppa events coming up; if she needs help with any of them, y’know, if isak and him can help in any way then they’re down, like, even baking for it would be chill - isak is terrible at cooking, but it’s okay, even’s god-tier cooking skills make up for that - and did isak ever tell you that it was at kosegruppa that they met?, so really, they owe it to her in the first place, because if isak didn’t attend then maybe he wouldn’t even be in this kitchen right now; and the conversation is never stilted, and even is so natural, and no wonder isak is in love with this guy, she thinks.

and oh, she said that out loud. because even is laughing in that confident way of his (it’s soft enough to not wake any guests, but evidently pleased), and vilde smiles politely, but… she gets. a lil bit. uh. sad. because she’s never had that with a guy. she’s wanted to talk about them as passionately as even talks about isak, she even has talked about them passionately. but there’s something hollow about it. something that doesn’t feel quite right. it’s the same thing that made her tired of magnus, too; it felt great to finally be wanted but the novelty of it just wore off way too fast for it to be real. there’s something missing. always, always, always. something genuine. it’s the same something that practically radiates off of isak and even. something that feels comfortable and warm and cozy. something that feels like when eva pulls her into a hug. something that sounds like when eva says “fuck chris, he’s not here tonight”. something about their girls nights, when it’s only her and–

“so, eva, huh,” even says, and vilde practically jumps off of the counter. she’s all deflections and accusations at first. what?? what is it?? what about us?? which is just. Very suspicious. and Weird. so she calms down a little. even follows up: you guys seem close, that’s all. because even is Not dumb. (and, yeah, maybe eva had a short drunken conversation with him last night that vilde isn’t aware of). vilde’s like, yeah, we’re close, we’re best friends! and then. there’s silence. just silence where even washes some dishes and vilde stares at her feet. she almost wants to take back what she was thinking about how even makes conversation easy. this was deliberate. she clears her throat. and asks if she can use his shower. 

now, that has even turning around, eyebrows raised. “my shower?”. vilde’s still wound up from the previous part of the conversation, so she just shrugs, yeah, the shower, she’s got wine down herself from last night, besides nobody else is using it right now. then it clicks. ohhh. oh. this isn’t even’s place. even doesn’t- oh. but it’ll be fine, right? the others won’t mind if she uses the shower. even is still laughing. “what?! you practically live here already. noora told me!” “i know, i know, it’s just- isak mentioned it the other day, too. this place being mine also. it’s nice.” that has vilde smiling again. and still, a little jealous too. but even tells her that yeah, she’ll be allowed to use the shower, there’s towels in the cupboard, and if she wants some breakfast after then even can make french toast. 

it’s a little unnerving that he’s being so nice to her. she feels like he knows something she doesn’t. before she escapes to the bathroom, he says something like. “hey. you can talk to me, okay? whenever you need to.” they share another knowing look. and vilde relaxes again. maybe she can talk about these feelings. i mean, isak and even had some relationship troubles before. surely even knows that… this stuff isn’t always easy. he’d understand, right? wouldn’t he? so, even lets her go, and vilde feels like with just that one tiny interaction, she’s safe. she’s not ready to talk now, but whenever she is, it’ll be okay. and when she’s finished showering and drying off, there are some sweatpants and a shirt outside the door, which vilde is Eternally grateful for.

but… a jesus shirt??? even has a weird ass fashion sense

(Gays look out for Gays!!! also, even tells isak to cut vilde some slack next time he’s groaning @ some annoying task she’s assigned him. ‘be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about’. when vilde’s ready, she’ll talk!!!!! listen y’all, lesbian vilde, bi eva, gay isak, pan even: the True Gay Crew)

Okay the thing is I am in the 2nd page and there is already a lot of mention of hand. Holmes’ “hand in hand” comment. A gold ring on Holmes’ hand. Watson asking “And have you any on hand just now?”

Colour me delusional, but I am totally on board with the engagement theory. The mentioned ring serves no purpose at all. And reading the whole thing feels like Watson is trying to set up some bs to provide a background story of the ring. It’s like um I put a ring on Holmes’ finger. How could I mention the pretty ring ( “remarkable brilliance” Watson’s words, not mine. He is real proud of his choice) without raising questions…

So Watson is like, okay here it goes. The ring is a gift from a case. About which even Holmes can’t tell me. So how can I tell you. That’s it. Okay last time. What’s on your hand Holmes? :3

okay and honestly

abt the allura and keith dynamic, the way i see it rn is that allura had started to really see keith as her friend before the reveal about him being galra and rewatching the blade of marmora arc the other day i picked up on quite a few signs that she was genuinely worried about him while he and shiro were at the blade’s hq but i’ll get into that when i re-watch all of season 2 at some point

anyway but i feel like keith had been starting to admire allura also. because from jump she’s been such a fighter like he is and they butt heads because of it sometimes but he really does listen to what she says, like always, even if he’s always vocal when he disagrees.

like in return of the gladiator allura says that thing about how being a paladin is about more than just fighting evil, it’s about spreading peace and saving other people. and we know that keith comes from a background where he’s only ever had to fend for himself, but then in fall of the castle of lions keith is the one telling pidge not to be selfish, and to think of the other families out there, when before he had been pretty much just as selfish

and okay, like i said a minute ago, they both believe in fate, right. keith really holds on to prophecies and things like that, probably because without them his life is just confusing and devoid of meaning and purpose, like he’s so lost

so when allura tells him and the others that they were meant to be here and that this is their destiny, not only does that show allura to be someone who accepts her fate as it comes (something keith probably and totally admires because shit just keeps going wrong for him) but it also might have made keith feel like he belonged where he was and keith never feels like he belongs, that’s why he’s always so alone and all over the place

so yeah i can’t even word all of this how i want to right now but this realization just hit me in like a wave lol

it just makes a lot of sense that despite them being in ‘war mode’ 98% of the time (with exception of keith being emo or worried about shiro or awkwardly making friends with the others, and allura occasionally wanting to gossip and buy clothes and goof off, cause they’re still kids and whatnot) allura feels like she can relate to keith and he feels the same. i just notice how he listens to what allura says about her world view a lot (and even repeats her words sometimes like when he reminds the team that voltron is the ‘universe’s only hope’) and that’s also probably why allura is so stung by his being related to the oppressive side of this war. like here she probably thought she really had something with keith that could become a friendship but no it’s essentially zarkon all over again

DATING ALEX SUMMERS WOULD INCLUDE...

(Hey guys! So this is my first ever set of headcannons. I really hope you enjoy them. Feedback is greatly appreciated!) 

Originally posted by katarinadreams92


  • Alex loves to give you kisses no questions asked 
  • He holds you tight and gently strokes your hair
  • He loves to do it at the randomest times to
  • You’ll both be cuddling on his bed in his room and he’ll literally attack you with kisses
  • Or you will literally be in the middle of a battle and he’ll run to you and kiss you, then keep running.
  • He’s also very protective of course
  • He knows you can defend yourself but he still makes sure you’re okay
  • The first time he saw you kick some ass he was so impressed
  • You guys had steamy sex that night
  • Speaking of sex…
  • The first time you had sex it was probably the most awkward
  • “Did I hurt you?!”
  • “No, it feels good keep going”
  • To sum it up, it was very sloppy but you wouldn’t have it any other way
  • Now that you’ve been dating for a while, sex is more passionate and a bit more rough at times
  • Alex is up for some sex any day, any time, anywhere
  • THE BOY GIVES SOME BOMB ASS ORAL
  • Once you were feeling really stressed out so he took you to the bedroom and ate you out like there was no tomorrow
  • Like he didn’t even tease you like he usually does, he just went to it
  • You felt a lot better
  • Anyways…
  • You and Scott get along really well
  • Alex would be lying if he said he doesn’t get jealous at times
  • Some really hot sex took place after
  • Ok lisTEN TO ME
  • Alex is a total ass guy
  • He LOVES your ass
  • Scratch that, he worships your ass
  • He loves to put his hand in your back pocket
  • This asshole drops things purposely just to see your ass when you bend down
  • He LOVES when you lay down on your stomach so he can see the curves of your butt
  • He occasionally will lay down on top of you and use your butt as a pillow
  • He literally can stay like that for hours
  • It’s literally a casual thing for him to have his hand on your butt 24/7
  • This boy loves to buy you different types of panties
  • It’s not surprise when he comes home with like 5 bags full of victoria’s secret panties and bras
  • He will make you model all of them for him while he sips on a beer
  • “C’mere baby”
  • You may or may not give him a lap dance
  • ANYWAYS…
  • Alex is also a total boob guy
  • He thinks they’re comfortable and squishy
  • “Babe, get off my boobs”
  • “But they’re so comfortable”
  • He loves to cuddle with you and lay on your stomach while you stroke his hair
  • That’s how he falls asleep most of the time
  • Oh, and he loves to spoil you rotten ok
  • You could just compliment something like a t-shirt and it’ll be yours the next day
  • Also expect flowers on random days
  • He loves to listen to you rant about anything
  • Alex encourages you to literally fight anyone who angers you
  • “She charged me for an extra large fries when I ordered a small!”
  • “You should go fight her”
  • He’s the type of guy to hype you up to
  • You’ll be at a party dancing and he’s hyping you up
  • You’re taking shots at the bar and he’s cheering you on as you down a bottle of vodka
  • And of course he holds your hair back when you’re throwing up the next morning 
  • And he makes you drink lots of water
  • His hangover cure? Soup
  • He makes some bomb ass soup to
  • He’s such a good caretaker ??? like how ???
  • Then he sets up all your favorite movies to watch in bed
  • You cuddle up to his chest and smell his beautiful, amazing scent 

anonymous asked:

Idk if you had already answered something related to this but here it goes: sometimes I feel Jikook is fake, you know? So good to be true. Just the thought of it hurts me. The industry is hard and you gotta do whatever it takes to survive- even if it is to build up rumors of 2 members dating each other. Sometimes I think about the evidence and I forget about this, but it comes back to me and I just ;;;;

someone has already sent me something about jikook’s relationship being “too good to be true”  , and my response is still the same… look my friend 

there is nothing too good to be true about being potentially “in love” with your bandmate,who happens to be “ a dude” in a major homophobic country so there’s that.

now to answer your question;

 even if they were indeed trying to build up “dating rumors”with the whole thing only , and everything was “fake” which isn”t the case by the way , don’t you think they’d have taken it a step further tho ? don’t you think they’d be all over each other in public like some “ships” are ?? 

-

because here’s the thing, the only “moments” of the two together we ever get lately are the “oh so damn subtle touches” , “subtle hints” , “subtle glances” … i’m talking about them right now of course , not about them during their debut period that’s a nother story which i’m not going to talk about right now.

they don’t do anything together for fanservice , even when it seems like they’re doing it for that purpose it’s not

 like the time jimin grabbed jungkok’s neck and everyone was saying that it was fanservice it was not,why?

because from the way they both reacted after it happened it’s very clear that it was unlpanned,and most importantly “regretted”, because even though jungkook clearly enjoyed it from the way he closed he eyes and totally melt under jimin’s touch, he immediately stood up after the whole thing ended thus he really didn’t need to stand up to take the phone from jin and he even dropped it after jimin walked behind his, see how flustered / nervous he was ?… 

even jimin panicked ,he kept going back and forth untill the staff told him to go back to his sit or something .. which means that they both thought that they just did something which they weren’t supposed to do in public … plus they both didn’t ackowledge the fans’ screams !  so it’ was definitely not for fanservice.

what i’m saying is , i believe that what they have between them is very genuine, nothing fake about it, they’re trying so hard to hide this thing between them whatever it is in order to avoid causing dating rumors and you’re here saying that’s their main goal behind this whole thing … i’m sorry but that doesn’t make sense !

  • Andy Lincoln: *has insightful, poetic things to say about Richonne*
  • A SIP OF WINE LATER...
  • Tipsy Andy Lincoln: *dirty Richonne thoughts*
  • Tipsy Andy Lincoln: *oh my...how rude...I really mustn't...*
  • ANOTHER SIP OF WINE LATER...
  • Unfiltered, Tipsy, Captain Andy Lincoln: Hey everybody! Michonne totally licks me clean!!! *jumps up on his chair like an overexcited Tom Cruise*
Here we go…

I got around to analyzing the Cross x Dream comic, and, well, let’s just say I found some stuff I kinda wanted to bring attention to… whoops… sorry in advance? (I’m not trying to hurt anyone, I’m just being overly observant as usual.)

And no, this actually isn’t another rant about how Nightmare is unloved, thank goodness. This is supposed to be half comedy, so only take it half seriously. My strong reactions to things are for comedic effect, I mean. In fact, most of it is simply my reactions to the comic while I was reading it.

I don’t own any of the images used.

Update: Since the Cross x Dream comic was abruptly discontinued, this post doesn’t have much importance anymore, but I’m still going to leave this here for… historical purposes? Yeah, let’s just go with that.

Keep reading

boxers or briefs?

“So…” he said leaning in close to me. “Boxers or briefs?”

I almost laughed in his face…two reasons. For one - we were at a shitty basement dive bar. Hardly the gay cathedral that you might pick up a guy with that kind of question. Sure we were both gay and so were a couple of the other guys in the bar, but montana isn’t where I expect to hear that

Second, I was exacty the kinda guy you expect to see in a dive bar in montana. Late 40s, trucker hat, button down plaid shirt. Grey in my hair and lines on my face. What the fuck kind of underwear do u think a guy like me wears anyhow.

He didn’t belong here tho. This young stud was just blowing thru town. Here today. Gone tomorrow. Good for a beer, maybe a blow, but gone before you could even get your dick lubed.

I tilted my beer, looked him right in the eye, and said “Boxers”

He took a long pull from his beer.

“Wrong answer honey,” he said. And my whole world changed

Right in front of me Danny…that’s the bartender here… he just changed. He should be in his sixties, just polishing beer glasses for somethin to do, and suddenly he was twenty five again. But the kind of twenty five that Danny never was. Six feet tall, ripped with muscle, and I could tell cause he was shirtless now. Short black hair that joined up with a perfect chinstrap beard.

“Hey Danny! can we like get some shots over here!” yelled someone at the end of the bar. There was a cluster of three young bucks…had they been there a second ago? I looked close and realized it was Sam and Greg from down at the gas station, and Jesse who managed the bank. But young. And…well, I don’t think they were going home to wives anymore.

Sam was wearing a tank top that looked painted on. And Greg’s youthful biceps were straining at a pink t that had a picture of a rooster on it. I hadn’t ever seen anyone dressed like that…except in porn. Greg was even worse, standing there in nothing but a pair of leather pants with a leather cuff on his arm. I didn’t even dare to rent that kinda video

Danny hustled down and poured them something strong. These boys were out for a party tonight.

And the party was starting. The music had stopped coming from that old radio up on the shelf, and something with a heavy beat was pounding. I felt something wake up in my body…shit I wanted to dance to this crap.

The whole bar was starting to look different. Hadn’t it been mostly tables? When had they put in a disco ball and all those lights? And all these guys I knew…why were they twenty years younger and grinding against eachother. There was stu from church, making out passionate with Pastor Edward. Or was it Eddie, that slut?

I was all so confusing. I felt so disoreented. And in the mirror behind the bar…there I was

Maybe 19.

Wearing like this red tank top with white piping. And these tiny little shorts, like I used to wear in gym class back in the 80s.

My hair was like platinum blond. Like I’d done that on purpose…

Wait…of corse I did it on purpose. I look fierce with this dye job

It make me like the perfect twink…cuz lol I was. u gotta work hard to be this fabulus

I took a little sip of my appletini. Can’t drink too fast…I’m such a lightweight and I get even sluttier when I’m wasted. More than once i’ve ended up in bed with two or three guys who all want to use my tight ass

“So…” he said leaning in close to me. “Boxers or briefs?”

The guy was a total hottie. Like the exact kind of fresh blood I wanna meet when he wanders thru town. Who cares if he’s gone tomorrow…tonight my ass gets used

“What makes u think I’m wearing any?”

Must have been the right answer.

Artielu lawyers BATB

So I saw it and I’m not full on trash like @jadeddiva or @alchemistc but I did like it. There’s just a lot of gaps that need to be filled in. So of course I bombarded JD with commentary as soon as I got out of the theater.

1) how did they fall in love “so fast”? Maurice leaves, goes home (one day, two?) says help to Gaston, gaston takes him out at night and they get lost, gaston ties Maurice up and leaves him at night, agatha finds him in the morning and revives him, Maurice goes back to tavern and accuses gaston, then the mob. That’s like… three days, maybe four.

Meanwhile at the castle. Stuff happens that’s difficult to gauge time passing. Then Belle gets attacked by wolves, beast rescues her and is too weak to walk. He stays in bed, has gashes on his back and maybe a fever. Gives her shit for the book, then actually gives her the library. Seems like she’s read a bunch of books by the next scene. Later he’s out of bed, limping in the snow. He gets ready for the ball via a bath and the gashes are gone. Then he’s fucking ballroom dancing with no problems. Gashes and fever… several days at minimum. Several books… another week. Limping to dancing… two weeks?? So we’re at a month from wolf rescue, maybe longer.

Plus, between the time beast releases belle and the mob attack, belle learned to love beast and vice versa.

So. Time must work differently on the castle grounds. It’s always winter, even in July. No one ages. The rose that should have withered in days has lasted years. This is the only thing that explains both how Maurice was gone 2-4 days, beast entirely healed from the attack, and belle fell in love with him.

I think it’s like a form of Groundhog Day. What better punishment than to stay young and haha nope you’re still not beautiful or liked as you would have been without my curse… prime of your life but actually enjoying it is juuust out of reach, figure your shit out, you narcissistic asshole Adam, love and kisses, enchantress.

So. Time passes differently in the castle and belle had a month there, at least. Probably several. Though it was only a few days for Maurice.


2) the curse mechanics. Y'all know I can’t help myself.

Here, the issue is that the enchantress made the curse and the condition for breaking it is that the beast has to fall in love and someone has to love him in return. Ok, fine.

And then she makes the entire town forget the castle existed, puts insane wolves in the forest or at last leaves the ones already there, and makes it perpetually winter.

But she helps them. She rescues Maurice from the tree (also, the (her??) wolves didn’t eat him… that seems odd that they couldn’t find a stinky tied up Frenchman in the woods in the long hours of the night). She nurses him back to life. She goes to the castle. She reverses her spell after the last petal fell, which should have meant that the curse became permanent in that moment. Why??

Frustration of Purpose. You make a contract but then you make it impossible for the other side to actually carry out the contract. So the contract should be void based on the enchantress’ interference with her own fucking terms.

How the fuck is anyone possibly going to break the curse if no one even knows the castle exists??? The reason no one knows about the castle is because she did that.

So I think there was a coven tribunal, like the wizengamot. Look Agatha, you were totally within your rights to curse this asshole. He deserved it. And the terms of the curse you made say he needs to make someone fall in love with him and him with them, also fine and also poetic, nice touch there. But Agatha, hun, you then made it impossible for them to break the curse - you made the entire world forget the castle and the prince, you surrounded her castle with feral wolves, and you made it permanently winter. Ain’t no one going in there. So your way to break the curse isn’t possible, because you made it impossible. Frustration of Purpose is against the Rules of the Coven. You know this. Go fix your mess or you’re getting sanctioned.

So. She is clearly known in the village and she knows them. She’s got her eye on Belle as a candidate. She sees her chance when Maurice gets lost. She breaks the tree in front of him and sends him on the path to the castle.

Then the village calls Maurice crazy when he tells the beast, because of the curse, because they all forgot. Which leaves Maurice vulnerable to gaston, gets him tied up.

Agatha, collateral damage of innocent bystanders. But for your curse and you sending him to the castle, he’d be home safe with his daughter. Fix. It. Now.

So she protects Maurice overnight, rescues him in the morning, revives him, takes him back to town, and then Maurice is still seen as crazy and gets sent to the sanatorium, which is a death sentence in canon.

Agatha, dammit. Fix your shit.

Meanwhile, Belle is in the castle (thanks Agatha) and they’re falling in love etc. But it took too long to get started because Agatha made it impossible.

So even though Adam failed to timely break the curse within the terms and conditions of the curse (last petal fell), Agatha still reversed the curse because it was void once she engaged in frustration of Purpose and prevented Adam from having a chance of breaking it in time. So she had to clean up her mess she created by reversing the curse, waiving the timing condition, else she would be facing consequences for her improper behavior.

Date with first Crush headcannons

Hello my dear readers! It’s been a while I wrote something and nobody requests~ So, I came up with some headcannons for several characters. Enjoy~
I only make a few characters where I think I can vary those headcannons.


Atsushi Nakajima

  • As a complete inexperienced “newcomer” to love matters, Atsushi is a mess before your first date. He will be totally freaked out and will be scared by every single sound he would heard. Dazai would make the poor boy almost die of an heartattack with his purposely made sounds
  • he will make many mental notes of what you could like and how the date would went. Atsushi actually is a really sweetheart and your happiness is his happiness. So of course he want to make the date as perfect as he could. Even if his purse says no.

  • Stuttering. Alot of stuttering awaits you with Atsushi. He even needs half of an hour to actually order his food when he sits in the restaurant with you. It’s cute at first but later you feel really sorry for him. 

  • When he tries to entertain you and chat with you, he will come up with the most random things because he desperately looks for topics to talk. One minute he tells you how his day was and on the next moment he is saying how beautiful the weather is and then about his work.

  • Rule 1: DON’T KISS HIM AS GOODBYE. He will faint instantly while blushing like a madman. Atsushi is really shy and needs some time to get to the love stuff.


Osamu Dazai

  • Dazai seems totally calm on his first date. Because he didn’t seemed to care how he looks like and don’t dress himself so pretty and formal. On the contrary.. He tries to persuade you for a “underwear date” to cut loose those shyness and uncertain feels. Or to put it more simply: To break the ice.
  • His main goal would be to make a good impression. So he’ll try to make you laugh. Dazai can be really funny behind his fake mask and you would never guess his real face when he grimaces his funny faces and telling you hilarious stories of how he taunt his comrades.

  • this man is full of surprises. Even at your first date, he will make sure you’ll never forget this day. He is more likely to blindfold you and carry you to Yokohamas highest building at night where you can see the stars and street lights from a breathtaking view. And he just has to ruin the moment in saying you should jump together into a blissful lovers double suicide. Geez.

  • he will invite you to the most expensive, most exquisite restaurant he could find. Your eyes almost dropped when you saw how much the food cost. But Dazai is fine, since he uses Kunikidas credit card..

  • Dazai won’t push you too much on the first date, but he would totally steal a good bye kiss from you. He would teasingly lure you into a soft hug, while he caress your skin and compliment it’s smooth feeling, looking deep into your eyes with his sinful smile and telling you how much he loved that date with you and if you liked it too~


Ryuunosuke Akutagawa 

  • Akutagawa doesn’t like dates. He doesn’t even consider your ‘meetings’ as a date, but actually it happens that Akutagawa actually cares about his time with you. Though he would not prepare anything and just have some strolls around an abandoned place

  • he is quite anti-romantic and anti-social, so he would not even hold your hand. But if you try to grab his hand, he doesn’t slap them away when you’re alone with him. Akutagawa doesn’t want anyone to see this side, but to you, he can pull himself together. Sometimes. Though he let go of your hand and snap at you what the hell is wrong with you, trying to stay the cold and distant person he always used to be.

  • he doesn’t like formal dates, so he never invites you to restaurants. But actually he is quite fond of a nice and peaceful picnic at night. One of Akutagawas secret hobbies is star gazing, so he will put his head in your lap and look at the stars while you run your hands through his black hair. It’s one of the very rare moments where Akutagawa and you actually show affection for each other

  • Akutagawa may not be the nicest boyfriend, but you can be sure, that you’re safe at his side. Whenever he is with you and notices any kind of danger or just a stranger looking hungry at you, he will immediately pull you by your waist closer to him and shot the man such a fierceful glare, that nobody dares to look at you again.

  • And don’t expect a kiss after the date. If you wanna kiss him, you have to do it yourself. Akutagawa won’t fight your kiss, but he will growl in a low tone making you pull away and then you would see rosy cheeks while he tries to form a complaint. Actually this is more cute as frightening. But don’t tell anyone.


Ranpo Edogawa

  • Actually, Ranpo considers every alone time with you as date. Even if it’s during a mission and both of you sitting before a corpse, investigating. He still thinks of a date because it’s the great Ranpo you’re spending time with
  • but actually he feels very insecure during real dates. He keeps telling himself not to behave like a spoiled child, because he doesn’t want to scare you away. Though his willpower vanishes when the waiter brings some dessert. He will totally eat your dessert while you’re in the restroom and then smiles at you with chocolate around his mouth: ‘I don’t even regret it~*
  • Though he can be quite a gentleman if he want. When Ranpo really values you as his lover, he can be quite imaginative. Like candle light dinners on a balcony with rose petals raining over you (he paid Poe to stand on the balcony over you to pour the rain petals over you) or to take you out for cinema or something you’d like. Thanks to his super deduction he knows what you want, before you even realize you like it. Ranpo can be really awesome, believe it!
  • He totally loves getting affection during and after the date. Holding hands he can swing forth and back or getting surprise kisses from you.. he is fond of them. He maybe steal a kiss from you too when you are too cute for him handle. Then he will make that pout face, complaining that he couldn’t resist that cute face of yours.
  • After the date, Ranpo doesn’t want to part ways. He will cling onto you like a child and hugging you tightly, wanting some more affection of you. You both will end hugging and kissing for countless minutes until Ranpo would get sleepy and says that it’s too late for him to go home and if he can stay the night over at your place~ Nice trick Ranpo. Well you couldn’t say “No” to him, can you?