like... really!

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I’m the piece of shit that never finishes stuff,  pls accept this unfinished shatt stuff about ‘meeting mama holt’ when matt brings shiro home for the holidays

anonymous asked:

not saying those first two D+D stories aren't wholly awesome themselves but I absolutely gotta have some more information on the instance where you seduced a dragon

okay fair enough and I don’t got any drawings for you today so story time it is;

alright so we’re like, at the end of this big ole campaign that’s been running a while and we’re facing the Big Cheese who is a sorceress who just went all maleficent on us and transformed herself into a dragon. It’s rad, she’s mad, we all have a good time, but due to some extremely unlucky rolls on our team and some real good rolls on the DM’s side the party is suddenly in a Bad Way; our wizard was dead, the fighter had been trapped in a block of ice, and the bard had just jumped out the window to save himself and landed in a dungheap. Frankly I still think that was an excellent idea and was probably the best move any of us made in that session. 

My rogue, amazingly, was not doing all that hot either and was the only active player left- I had two HP, my arrows couldn’t pierce the dragon’s hide without the bard boosting my attack, she was out of range for a knife attack (throwing it would lose me the only effective weapon I had) and one of my legs was broken. Our DM is all sorts of guilt stricken and hadn’t expected things to go this badly, my companions are coming up with all sorts of get-out-of-jail plots but basically I can’t run, can’t attack, am nearly dead and there’s a dragon sorceress who’s about to eat me. I look at the only stat I rolled insanely well while making the character sheet… which is charisma.

So I ask if I can roll to seduce the sorceress. The DM looks at me like I’m insane, then a genius, then an insane genius, and allows it. Please also note that my rogue is tiny kenku, beaten to within an inch of her life, about to be toasted with hellfire and the sorceress who has been trying to crush our little band for the past year has more will than a stone fortress.

I rolled a 19. 

She rolled a 1.

So, yeah. We got married.

Hey, Jealousy

Originally posted by leafbabies

Hey, Jealousy- Auston Matthews 

Description: Moving to Toronto to work for the Maple Leafs was terrifying- until you landed Auston Matthews as a boyfriend. Your first fight with Auston is about jealousy- he’s jealous of your male best friend. You decide to elicit some jealousy yourself, by wearing William Nylander’s jersey and flirting relentlessly

Warnings: SMUTTTT, swearing, fighting

Word Count: 2,531

Author’s Note: Y’ALL it’s my first but certainly not last Auston Matthews smut! I had so much fun writing this. I don’t have any more specific players in mind for my next story, so PLEASE send me requests! I hope you guys love it, leave me feedback if you’d like! 


6 months ago:

 

This was it; you were giving up your normal life in a small town to make it big in Toronto. You had dropped everything to work in the front office for the Toronto Maple Leafs, a job you were dreaming of since you were a kid. You always watched hockey with your parents and brothers growing up and the Maple Leafs were your #1. Upon joining the team, you got to meet everyone, including all of the players. You were the youngest staff member in team history (which was super intimidating on its own) and you were all alone in the big city.

When you met all the players, everyone was impossibly nice and supportive. A few of them even said it was “badass” that such a young person was part of the staff. A handful of players stuck around and offered to show you around the city, since it was still offseason. Mostly the younger ones. But it was Auston Matthews who immediately caught your eye. He was hot as fuck, not in an obvious way, and his body was bangin. You could’ve sworn you saw him staring at you a few times, and then looking away whenever you caught him. All the guys were flirting with you that night but he was so sweet with you, pointing out all of his favorite landmarks and telling you stories of the team and memories him and his family have made here since he got drafted. You two just naturally clicked in a way that you had never felt before.

At the end of the night, the team had said their goodbyes, but Auston stayed behind to walk you to your door and say good night. He also asked you to go on a date with him and see where it went. You weren’t supposed to get involved with anyone you worked with, but you thought ‘fuck it’ and said yes.

Keep reading

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idk about you guys but jungkook’s piercings are my kink bye

💢 PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG TO NON-KINK BLOGS 💢

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Love, Kindness and Other Useless Things. by @joneskillian

“He does not seem to think of love as a necessity to life,” Mary Margaret stated.

“Nor kindness, apparently,” Emma added in a mutter.

“They are pretty useless things,” Ruby grinned.