like-the-most-personal-i've-ever-posted

I had a dream about a forbidden sunny ep which is basically a sequel to mac day I guess?? It was called mac replaces dennis and the basic plot is something like: mac and den get into a fight over something trivial and it ends w them on bad terms so mac decides to find a new best friend but the rest of the gang is already locked into a scheme and nobody he knows irl wants to hang out w him so he goes on one of those straight™ bro finder apps and finds himself a bro. The guy he meets up w thinks it’s a date bc of the nature of the app but this goes over macs head completely. They end up spending all their time together and the whole gang loves macs bf (bro friend obvs) except for Dennis who refuses to call him by the right name and tries to get the gang to help him break them up “bc mac is just leading the guy on” but the rest of the gang wants to see how it plays out. Mac keeps unknowingly dating his bro and they end up back at the apt (I think they had their old apartment back?) and den is there too and mac leaves the room and the bro is like “idk what I’m doing wrong” bc mac hasn’t reciprocated anything and u know when dennis is being extra conniving w charlie in macs banging the waitress? That’s kinda the personality he assumes and is like “oh, I’ll help u” and then I woke up and anyways who wants to help me pitch this to rcg

As much as I love touring around and seeing new places, I have zero sense of direction. Whenever I have a free day and it doesn’t involve traveling on a bus for most of the day, I always like to explore and go visit the places that each location is famous for, but then I can never find what I need to. Needless to say, I just need someone who’s really good with directions and knows their way around where ever I go. You can be like my personal Google Maps or something.

Imagine your otp*: sitting on the floor with a label maker, printing out the most embarrassingly goofy pet names they can think of and sticking them to each other, laughing the whole time, until the silly pet names turn into more serious statements like “the person I need most” or “partner” or “family”, and the laughing turns into kissing

* I’m talking about Richard and Jared

listen, some of you may be like “maggie, why have you changed everything in your blog to star trek suddenly” guys. you have to understand something. bucky is a bae. definitely. but he is not my Main Bae™. he is the bae i take out to parties or to the movies or to dinner. i have fun with him, sure. but he is not my only bae. he is a Side Bae™, if you will. my Main Bae™, the bae i come home to at night, that bae is none other than leonard horatio “bones” mccoy, and it’s high time i go back to honoring him as such.

The most important lesson tumblr ever taught me.

That women aren’t crazy backstabbing bitches. 

Seems crazy right, that we women would ever think such a thing? But I, like most of my generation, thought this for a long time, and many still do. It was so engrained into us growing up that when I was first told that it was a load of bullshit, I was in complete shock, and I didn’t believe it at first. 

Let’s take a walk down memory lane. And keep in mind that this has taken me a long time to build up the courage to write. 

When I was just new on tumblr, an ignorant little whelp like we all were. I made a comment somewhere about women being bitches. This comment was seen by a rather prominent blogger who is known for calling people out on their shit. As you can imagine, I was told in no uncertain terms, quite publicly, not only by this blogger but by a large group of girls, that I was a stupid piece of shit. I was absolutely shocked. I had never considered that what I thought wasn’t true. No one had EVER told me before that it wasn’t, but I had been told millions of times that it was. It was the first time in my life that anyone had ever challenged the concept. The first time. How bizarre is that? But that’s how prolific this belief is.

However, as one might imagine, being publicly attacked by a group of girls wasn’t the best way to convince me that women weren’t actually bitches. These girls didn’t seek out to correct the information I had been force fed all my life. They set out to humiliate me publicly. 

But I guess in the end, it worked. It made me think (after the shock and terror had ebbed away) that maybe what I had been taught all these years wasn’t true at all. I mean my friends weren’t bitches, so surely ALL women cant be bitches, and then one thing led to another and the whole thing unravelled.

So I am glad that it happened. It was the seed of changing my thinking about something extremely important. I just wish I could have been taught it in a way that didn’t leave me feeling terrified every time I see one of that bloggers posts. I sometimes think it may have actually traumatised me somewhat. I’m also terrified that that blogger will see this, remember this incident and attack me again. I get quite panicky every time I see this person’s posts. I am terrified of them. I frequently think of just deleting my account and leaving tumblr all together when I think back on this incident. Being publicly humiliated does that to a person. But I do understand now how frustrating it must have been to see someone say such things, and how easy it must have been to lose it. I will also be eternally grateful to this person for teaching me one of the most important lessons of my life. I also regret that as I was (understandably) blocked immediately, I never got to thank this person for the lesson.

I now think that the concept that all women are bitches to be one of the most ridiculous things I could ever had thought, and I’m ashamed that I ever believed it (it’s taken me quite a long time to build up the courage to write this story). And I now make it a mission of mine to challenge anyone when they attack women like this. 

So, I guess my point is, yes, peoples’ ignorance can be really, really frustrating. But just remember that it may be as simple as that person has actually never been presented with another point of view. They have never had the opportunity to learn anything different. We should never stop trying to dispel these lies that lets face it, men have taught us as a way of keeping us compliant, and stop us banding together. As it is absolutely possible to change peoples’ minds on these things, and that should be our ultimate end game, not embarrassing people. But I honestly don’t think that publicly humiliating people is the best way to do it. 

So yes, my mind was changed, but I think it would have been very easy for the whole thing to go the complete other way, and actually re-enforce the notion of women being bitches rather than dispelling it. And we need to be careful that attacking people doesn’t actually make it worse. Everyone benefits from minds being changed, that’s what we need to try and do. 

I know there are some people who are notorious for saying offensive things, and obviously they have been presented with opposing views many, many times and just refuse to accept them. You can fight these people to the death for all I care. They have had the opportunity to learn and haven’t taken it. They are being willfully ignorant, and that’s a different thing entirely.

Okay, well that’s it. That’s my long embarrassing story. 

Please don’t send me messages asking me who the blogger was. I will not answer them. I have left their name out for a reason).