i’m home in orlando for a week and there is no food in the house. it’s like my parents don’t eat. like they aren’t really humans and when i’m not around they forget to keep up appearances. anyways today i texted my mom, “didn’t you say there was chocolate one of your students gave you somewhere around here?” and she said, “yeah, it’s on the top shelf of the pantry in a plastic bag.” so i go to the pantry, reach up to feel for a plastic bag, and pull down a bag full of large kitchen knives. like just knives loose in a bag. like she sold her knife block gift of the magi style. they just shower down on me sharp side down for what feels like ten minutes. i’m matrix dodging knives left and right. like knives have pinned the outline of my body to the floor. so i text her back and she just goes, “sorry. did you find the chocolate?” i did!