like whenever i lose a follower i always look back to see if i regret my actions


Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader
Rating: Explicit - 18+ only
Summary: Reader, being reckless gets hurt on a mission. Days later, when she gives her final report to her boyfriend Steve, it provokes an argument between them.
Word Count: 3.5k
Genre: general fiction containing explicit sexual content.
Warnings: argument, mild swearing, mentions of death. NSFW/SMUT: makeup sex, praise kink, soft dirty talking, nipple play, oral sex (female receiving), slow fingering, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, and semi-protected sex. - This fic assumes Reader is on the pill. [Cover your stone before you bone!]
Author’s Note: especially written for @always-an-evans-addict‘s writing challenge. I hope you like this one, sweetie.

   New Avengers Facility

“Steve, you read my report and Wanda told you what happened. That’s it. Can’t we just move on?”

“That’s it? That’s it?!”

Behind the closed door of your boyfriend’s office, you uncomfortably explained yourself, keeping in mind that people around you could probably sense the walls vibrating under the force of your voices.

You’d never thought that blowing out the last Hydra base found in Argentina would provoke such a drama within the team, or between you and the super soldier. Usually, you and Steve argued about the group’s mistake, not yours. When the incident happened in South America, you realized that if Wanda hadn’t been there, you probably wouldn’t be alive today.

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dating tom 3
  • if i’m being honest, he’d probably smell amazing 24/7
  • not even his cologne just like his scent, there’s just something so comforting about him too
  • the day before he had to leave for press or filming he’d cling onto you like a koala
    • “I’m not letting go until I absolutely have to,” he’d whine as you tried to push him off
    • “tom I have to pee,”
    • “no you don’t that’s false,”
  • reluctantly letting go of you so you could go pee
  • hearing your name through the door
    • [Y/N]!!!”
    • “come baaaack”
    • “….I can hear you pee” followed by loud giggling as you flush the toilet and quickly was your hands
  • he promises to call, text, and facetime you as often as possible when he’s away
  • and obviously he sticks to his promises cause he’s that guy™
    • “I miss yoooouuuu”
    • “harrison doesn’t cuddle like you”
    • “I miss your cooking” 
  • reuniting with each other is both your favourite things
  • you’d be waiting at the airport, trying to be as lowkey as possible since there was already a swarm of paparazzi’s
  • him noticing you as soon as he stepped through those doors
  • running and jumping into his arms as he threw down all his belongings
    • multiple kisses all over your face
    • whispering “i’m gonna make up for all our lost time when we get home”
  • and he so does
  • not being able to keep his hands off you the second you step through the door
    • “what gotten into you, tom?” you ask as he nips at your neck and collarbones
    • he freezes before shyly looking up at you, “I-I had a dream…about you…” he trails off
  • you nearly moan at the thought of him having dirty dreams about you
  • sloppy makeup sex 
    • both your actions would be so rushed, just wanting to be connected with each other
    • “fuck, I missed you so much babygirl,” 
    • him trying to make you come at the same time as him
  • as happy as he is to see you, he’s also exhausted and starving so you tell him to take a nap as you make something for dinner
    • “but I wanna nap with my girl,” he’d try to coax 
    • “after dinner,” you bargained as he let out a huff but agreed
  •  waking him up with head scratches 
    • whining when you stop and throw the blankets off him
    • not at all fazed by his naked body
    • him being surprised at you being unfazed because ????? 
  • him always trying to get you naked
    • “let eat dinner…..naked,”
    • “let’s play strip monopoly!” “not a chance tom,” “strip uno?”
  • “tom no”
  • “TOM YES”
  • he can be such a child, hiding all your left shoes or the toothpaste because it’s only a minor inconvenience 
  • whenever you’re at home with him and his family he becomes so much more british
    • “tom I can’t understand what you’re saying anymore”
    • “WHADYA MEAN M8″
  • him getting genuinely jealous when you pay more attention to tessa than him
    • “I’m spider-man though!!!!” he’d whine as you rolled around with tessa
    • having enough of your shit and picking you up, throwing you over his shoulder and bringing you to him room
  • when tom is sick its so much worse because he’s so much more clingy but you also don’t wanna get sick
    • “just a kiss on the nose, please darling” he’d beg as you sighed, finally giving him
    • tilting his head up so you end up meeting his lips instead
    • “if you get me sick i’m gonna kill you, holland”
  • you sitting on his lap because he loves having his arms wrapped around your body
  • if you were in public he’d always be checking behind your back for paparazzi’s because it was date night 
  • baking together becomes a tradition with you guys
    • him smearing icing down your nose before licking it
    • “you taste amazing, sweetheart,” him winking before you choke on a breath  
  • you lying in his lap in bed on nights you can’t sleep
  • so he begins playing with your hair and softly singing to because he knows that’s what puts you out like a light
  • waking you up with slopping kisses all over your face
  • you’re not a morning person so you don’t appreciate being woken up and put your pillow on your face
  • so he ends up eating you out and you can’t even get angry cause it was one of the best orgasms ever
    • “still hate me for waking you up?” he asks cheekily as you roll your eyes playfully
    • that day ends up full of sex, cuddles, and food
  • working out with him but he just ends up getting distracted by all your movements 
  • which leads to post workout sex
    • “your ass looks amazing in those pants, but it looks even better without them, darling,”
  • he secretly loves being domestic with you
  • like he loves doing laundry or cleaning the apartment and even going grocery shopping because he’s imagining your future
    • “you ever think about us? in the future?” he’d ask one day and he immediately regrets it thinking you’ll start freaking out
    • “all the time, bubs,” you say with a smile and he thinks his heart is gonna leap out of his chest
  • his parents and brothers already call you an old married couple
  • both of you agreeing that you’ve still got a long ways ahead of you before you wanna get married or start a family 
  • but you both want to 
  • you’re both each others rocks, always there no matter what time it is
  • sweet little kisses throughout the day 
    • like on the nose
    • or the forehead
    • of the top of your head
  • if you’re wearings rings he’s 100 percent going to play with them when he’s holding your hand 
  • he makes sure to bring you back a souvenir from each place he visits, even if it’s a magnet you love it so much 
  • sharing headphones while waiting for the plane to start boarding 
  • playing ‘guess the song’
    • “i lose every time though,” he’d whine but you just stuck your tongue out
    • purposely playing songs he doesn’t know just to see him pout
    • “you’re just too cute,” “i’m not cute, i’m hot,” “okay, tommy, whatever you say,”
  • him getting tipsy on the plane 
    • “let’s join the mile high club,” while giggling
    • “tom i’m trying to watch a movie,”
    • “and i’m trying to get laid,”
  • he’s actually such a child sometimes and you have to threaten him with no more sex until he finally calms down
  • if he has a random question he will ask you as if you have the answer
    • “how long are giraffes necks????”
    • “how do dolphins sleep with one eye open??”
  • poking your cheeks whenever you’re ignoring him 
    • “pay attention to meeeee,”
  • lying in between his legs on his chest because he insists on having you as close to him as possible

A/N: i died and came back then died again i h8 myself

Worth the Wait (M)

Chae Hyungwon | Friends!AU | Smut | Word Count: 3k

Anon: Hyungwon rough smut pls. Theres no reason just him being horny & needy & feel like having a rough sex hehe tq!! ♥️ 

The attraction has always been there. 

He always looks at you for way too long, eyes always roaming over your body when he thinks you aren’t looking. When you speak you have his undivided attention, eyes staring intently at the way your lips curve around every word that leaves your mouth. 

Hyungwon knows all of your quirks and habits. The way you bite your lower lip when you concentrate, the way your leg bounces or how you tap your fingers when you’re nervous or anxious. Everyone knows Hyungwon isn’t the most observant guy around, always in his own little world or sleep, but everyone sees how he perks up around you. 

You noticed it a while ago.

Whether he was just physically attracted to you, you don’t know and you don’t care. You just know you enjoy the feeling of his eyes boring into various parts of your body. You find humor in the lingering hugs he gives you, hands slowly dragging off of your body when you pull away. You enjoy the not so secret looks when the squad is together. 

He’s very flirtatious, and you either laugh at his attempts or play along.

Hyungwon doesn’t appreciate your laughter when he’s being serious about you. Especially not tonight. 

You’re drinking, and you’re in such a good mood it made you a buzzed, giggling mess. Everything is funny to you and you hadn’t even had much to drink. 

“When are you gonna stop playing?” he asks, plump lips brushing the back of your ear as he whispers his question. His chest leans against your shoulder as he bends down to your height, body heat already radiating through the cotton of your shirt.

“When are you gonna stop trying?” you tease, turning your head to look at him. 

The proximity of your faces makes the smile that was already playing on your mouth stretch, amused by the way he licks his lips at the fact your own are so close. 

“If you wanted me to stop you wouldn’t entertain me,” he states matter-of-factly. 

With a chuckle, you turn around to completely face him, looking up at him with a shake of your head.

“But that doesn’t mean I want you,” you taunt, hands sliding their way up his arms to his shoulder, completely contradicting your words. His eyebrow twitches before a grin of his own plays on his lips. 

“You might as well just let me take you home for the night, ____. You’ve been there plenty of times already.”

“I’ve been to your house when you didn’t have the intentions of fucking me, so that’s different.” 

You catch the playful glint in his eyes as he rubs his lips together.

“Actually, every time you come around I have the intention to fuck you. On every surface and corner of my house,” he admits with no shame, his hands reaching out to get nice handfuls of your ass. The action makes your eyes widen in surprise before they squint in mock annoyance. “Especially in front of the mirror.” 

You know exactly which mirror he’s referring to. It takes up half of one of his bedroom walls, directly in front of his bed and whenever you’re at his place you use it to take pictures or do your makeup when the rest of the group wants to pregame before going out. 

“You’re awfully bold tonight,” you sigh, turning back around and making his hands drop from your ass. “I just wanted to enjoy a few drinks and you’re over here telling me about fantasies that will never become reality,” you laugh, grabbing your drink off of the bar and chugging it down.

“You’re awfully harsh tonight,” Hyungwon counters, not falling for your act.

 Hyungwon knows he tempts you. He knows his words affect you exactly the way he wants. The chase to get you is no doubt fun for the both of you. You get the satisfaction of having him always shower you in compliments and boosting your ego. For him, the wait makes him yearn for you even more and makes him want to do so much more to your body each time you brush him off. 

 Leaning into you again, Hyungwon gingerly drags his pillow-like lips up the side of your neck before pulling on your earlobe softly. “Just be mine already.” 

His breath makes you want to shiver, but you force your body to suppress the feeling. 

“If you can look me in my eyes and tell me you don’t want this then I’ll leave you alone, really.” 

The way his tone switches from arrogant to serious, voice dropping a few octaves, makes your stomach flip. You want him almost as much as he wants you, and maybe it’s the drinks that you downed, but you’re really considering finally giving into him. 

Fuck it.

You turn around, straightening your face. The look in his eyes shows that he’s ready for rejection, but when you reach up to get a hold of the back of his neck you see a brief smile before your lips crash into his. 

There’s a blur of finding Hyunwoo and Kihyun to tell them the two of you are leaving, their eyes drifting down to where yours and Hyungwon’s hands are clasped together before asking how much you’ve had to drink with smirks on their faces. The car ride consists of Hyungwon speeding and you mulling over the fact you really gave into your desires after waiting so long. You might regret it in the morning, but month after month of Hyungwon’s fleeting touches and words of how much he wants you have built up and you can’t resist him anymore.

“Can’t believe you made me wait this long,” is growled into your neck, slim, long fingers quickly unzipping your skirt before pushing it down. You hum at his words, kicking the skirt to the side. The vibration of his complaint has your eyes drifting shut as you tilt your head further to the side. “I’ve been trying to fuck you for over a year now.“ 

You hadn’t even made it up the stairs before Hyungwon was pressing into your back once again, eager to touch you now that you’ve finally given him permission to do so. 

“Then make it worth the wait,” you breathe out, ready for him to prove to you that losing your internal fight of resisting him was worth it. He’s barely done anything yet, lips only softly trailing from your shoulder up to your neck, but your skin is already heating up and your breathing is heavier. 

In the blink of an eye Hyungwon turns you around and picks you up. You squeal at the sudden change before laughing, wrapping your legs around his waist cupping your hand around the back of his neck. The other rakes through his hair, pushing his bangs back and messing up his blond locks in the most perfect way. 

“Wow I didn’t think your little noodle arms were capable of doing this,” you comment, impressed. He stops his dead in his tracks in the middle of the stairway to glare at you. 

“Keep it up and I’ll drop you right here,” he deadpans before continuing his journey to his room.

The pout you give him is exaggerated, followed by yet another giggle at your next thought. 

“In your fantasies, did you fuck me on the stairs, too?”

Hyungwon doesn’t bother to answer you, instead flopping you down onto the foot of his bed. He reaches for the back of the collar of his shirt before roughly ripping the cotton off of his body. The streetlight near his window casts shadows on his skin and you can’t help the way your eyes follow the outlines of his toned abdomen. You can feel the heat of his gaze, watching you as you watch the way his fingers fumble with his belt. When he pulls it off your bottom lip is sandwiched in between your teeth and there’s yet another stir in your stomach.

“Come here.”

At the sound of his voice ripping through your thoughts, low and gravelly, your body instantly reacts. Your ass scoots to the very edge of the bed and your fingers are grabbing at the waistband of his pants, prying the button and zipper open. Pulling both his jeans and boxers down mid-thigh, Hyungwon’s excitement hangs half hard oh so close to your face, you look up at him in question.

He’s already staring down at you with dark, hooded eyes that are almost covered by his bangs, sending a spark throughout your body that goes straight to your clit. All he does is tilt his head and you know what you are to do next.

Bringing your hand up to your mouth, you spit into it before it wraps around the base of his dick. You keep your eyes focused on his own as you begin moving your hand up and down, feeling his cock harden under your touch. He licks his lips, raking his hair back before the same hand is gripping the top of your head and pulling your face close to his cock, silently commanding you to get to it.

The fingers already in your hair get tangled once you take half of him into your mouth, giving him a long suck, cheeks hollowing. You hear his breath leave his body in a huff when your tongue traces the vein at the underside of his shaft.

“Don’t start,” Hyungwon warns you just as you flick the end of your tongue over his tip, making sure to dig into the slit. Going back to pumping with your hand, you back up your head to look up at him. “Start what?” you question, wanting to get under his skin.

You don’t really give him enough time to answer, taking him back into your mouth and bobbing your head up and down as your lips and tongue drag back and forth around his stiff cock, hand following the motions. There’s a barely concealed groan above you, and then the hand in your hair pushes you further down onto his dick, the tip jabbing into the back of your throat and making you gag at the suddenness.

With a gasp, you rest your hand on his thighs and pull away once again to glare up at him. “You’re such an asshole,” you cough out.

A mumbled whatever is your response, Hyungwon pushing you right back down and your mouth instinctively opens up wide to take him in. He’s an asshole, but you’ve been wanting to choke on his dick for the longest.

The grip on the top of your head switches to the back and Hyungwon holds your head in place. He doesn’t bother to ease you in, instantly thrusting into your mouth harshly and slipping down your throat repeatedly.

His grunts and his rough actions make you moan, your panties soaked and clinging to your folds as you rub your thighs together for even the smallest amount of friction. Your nails dig into the meat of his thighs, eyes squeezed shut as you enjoy the brutality. You can feel the spit pooling at the sides of your stretched mouth and the sting of tears behind your shut eyelids, and you love it.

“I swear,” Hyungwon starts, slowing his pace but only to increase the impact of his thrust. Your fingers grasp at his legs even harder and your jaw is slackening all the way while a long moan resonates in the big space of his room at the feeling. “You won’t be able to walk or talk correctly when you leave tomorrow.”

You open your watery eyes, taking in the veins that are bulging out Hyungwon’s forearm on the arm that’s keeping you in place. You take in the rise and fall of his chest, eyesight dipping down to catch the motion of his hips as his pelvic bone brushes against your lip each time he thrusts forward. Humming, you hum to let him know you understand. Hyungwon is going to take out all of the frustration you’ve caused on you tonight with no remorse, and you’re ready for it.

All of the air in your body rushes out in small coughs after he removes his dick from your mouth, jerking himself off slowly as he stares down at your struggle in satisfaction. 


You glower at him before following his instruction, quickly tossing your shirt on the floor and getting rid of your bra and panties as he finishes taking off his jeans. 

When he grabs your wrist, Hyungwon lifts you up and brings you to the side of his bed before turning you around and pushing you forward, making you bend and land on his soft duvet on your stomach. He nudges your dangling legs apart, two long fingers wasting no time to slide two fingers along your slit and then into your entrance.Two turns into three and you’re practically fucking yourself on his digits as he speeds up the pace of his pumping, quiet pleas for him to hurry things up tumbling out of your mouth.

“Look to your right,” he rasps out, pulling his fingers out of your dripping core. Hyungwon steps away and then a dim light from his nightstand is cut on before he’s behind you again. When you follow his instructions once again, you catch the sight of the two of you in the infamous mirror. You catch his eye in the mirror, him biting his lip as he strokes his cock once more at the sight. Opening your legs for him, you arch your back a little to stick your ass further in the air, wanting him to hurry up and fuck you into oblivion like his actions and words have promised.

“Keep them closed for me, baby.”

Seconds after pressing your thighs together you see and feel him line himself up at your entrance. You let out a sigh once the head of his cock pushes in, but when he thrusts the rest in harshly and quickly you’re gasping for air and clenching your fist, balling up the silk covers underneath you. 

“A fucking year,” he grunts out when he bottoms out. Smooth hands slide up the back of your thighs before roughly grabbing onto your ass, fingers and nails digging into the flesh. Your inner walls clench at the feeling, Hyungwon softly groaning at the feeling. “God you feel so good.”

“Come on,” you whine, wiggling your ass to prompt him to move.

Keeping his hold on the meat of your cheeks, he slowly drags his cock out all the way. Not even a second later he’s thrusting back into you roughly, knocking the breath out of you and making your eyes go wide. He continues this, breathing heavily each time he’s completely inside of you. 

“I don’t know if I want to take my time with you or fuck you senseless,” he chuckles, voice just barely strained.

“Fuck me senseless,” you pant out immediately. You want him to fuck you so hard you have to stay in his bed due to your legs feeling like jello and your pussy being too sore. You want Kihyun to possibly walk back into their shared house and hear everything that’s going on in Hyungwon’s room. You need more.

He listens, the speed of his hips quickening and the force behind his thrusts increasing. You push your upper body up by your forearms and let your head hang forward, the moans spilling out of you only rising in volume as he gives you exactly what you wanted. 

The sound of his hip bones ramming into your ass and the wet squelching of his dick repeatedly burying into your dripping core echoes throughout the room. His balls slap against your folds, no doubt getting wet as well. 

One of his hands leaves your ass in favor of moving to your hair. Wrapping your locks around his fingers, he jerks your head to the right, the pull making your scalp scream in the most delicious way. 

“I told you to look.”

Both of you are adorned in thin layers of sweat. Your hooded eyes stare back at you and you can barely recognize yourself. Neck outstretched, mouth hanging open as high pitched moans bubble out of your throat, and even in the shitty light, you can see how flushed your body is. Seeing the way your ass jiggles with each thrust, the way his prominent hip bones connect and disconnect from the bouncing flesh just arouses you even more and you’re not going to last much longer.

“Mm you look so good like this,” Hyungwon coos. “Nice and fucked out. Gonna come soon?”

You nod, trying your hardest to meet his eyes in the reflection. But when his hands are lifting your hips up a scream rips from your throat, eyes rolling back and jaw slackening even more at the feeling of his tip jabbing at that one glorious spot within you. Somehow his thrusts manage to gain even more power and there’s already a burning ache in your core. You bury your face into his comforter, screams muffled as your walls flutter around his cock, having the best orgasm you’ve ever experienced. 

Hyungwon’s rhythm gets sloppy, his body bending over yours while he chases his own orgasm. The continuous assault on your sensitive pussy has your eyes squeezing shut, spots of white showing behind your eyelids.

With one last thrust he bottoms out, hips pressing into your bottom harshly as ropes of cum spill inside of you. You’re both out of breath and motionless for a while.

“You probably have the best pussy I’ve ever fucked.”

You chuckle at his random outburst, turning your head so that your cheek is pressed into his bed, looking at your reflection once again.


He shrugs, slowly pulling out with his bottom lip in between his teeth. Your hole clenches around air, greedy for more even though it’s completely done for, sore and aching in the best way. Hyungwon flips you around, spreading your legs for him to settle in between.

“I’d have to taste you to be completely sure.”

A/N: I honestly can’t talk dirty for the life of me so this isn’t exactly how I pictured writing rough sex but uh, hope you enjoy lmaoo

promise [connor m. x reader]

uh hi im not good at reader inserts i swear. i’ve never written connor (or anything deh-related) before so uh, my apologies if he (and zoe, since she pops up for like, 5 seconds) is ooc. also i wrote this on google docs and then tumblr messed it up so i fixed it :’D

warnings; swearing, mainly? lots of swearing.

    connor: you up

    connor: y/n

    connor: fuck

    y/n: wtf connor i was almost asleep

    connor: sorry

    y/n: what is it

    connor: come outside

    y/n: connor

    y/n: what

    y/n: oh my god

    y/n: connor i s2g

    connor: just get out here

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The Harlequin Formula || Peter Parker x Reader

You all know about those short novella like romance novels published under the name Harlequin, right? Well, there’s also many manga artists who often transcribe the written text into a graphic novel form that I just adore reading!

So reading Harlequin comics is like one of the things I do for like, guilty pleasure and stuff because those kinds of comics is super pandering to young women (like me). Sure, a lot of the times the romance seems forced and unlikely to happen, but let me tell you, I read a Harlequin comic last night and the fact that it had a strong heroine who wasn’t afraid of the main love interest AND could read him like a book-

I was hooked.

So this whole story is inspired by the whole “harlequin formula” usually seen in those types of stories and how the ‘reader character’ tries to break them in hopes of finding a genuine type of love.

I hope you readers will enjoy this story ;w; .

warnings: none

word count: 3,300+

**don’t repost/plagiarize this story! Reblogs are fine!


When you were younger, you often filled your romantic daydreams with Harlequin novels. You didn’t know what true love felt like and often read these short novellas in order to get a glimpse of how love worked.

It was through these short stories that you learned the following things:

Love is when a demure woman falls for a powerful man.

The powerful man is often a multi-billionaire of some sort who comes off as cold and aloof, but is innately missing something all the same.

And whatever he was missing would always be love, to which the leading lady would offer him almost unconditionally, regardless of how cruel he was to her.

After the end of these novels, you would find yourself with tears in your eyes at just how wonderful the love story was. “That’s what true love has to be about, finding love in unexpected places while following your man to the ends of the earth.”

Each time you would finish a story, you would sigh and fall back against your twin bed, your hair fanning out beneath your head as you clutched the novel to your chest before softly murmuring (as if hoping that the more times you said it, then it would likely come true), “I honestly can’t wait to fall in love.”


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REQUEST: First thing your blog is the best thing I’ve stumbled across ever. Second thing I love wrestling too, who’s your favorite male and or female wrestler (if you don’t mind me asking)? And third can I pretty please request a Patrick Hockstetter X Reader where the reader and Patrick were dating but the reader tries to break up with him and Patrick was all like “fuck that noise” and refuses to leave the reader alone. Take it where you see fit. Thank you❤️❤️❤️

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Hold Me Tight | two

Originally posted by kyungsuhos

genre: fluff/angst

word count: 12.5k

preview, one

this is narrated in third person

Kyungsoo was happy to finally be home, have some time with his wife. He knew that she wasn’t doing very well in the past few days. She had been keeping more and more to herself lately, barely saying a word most days, never looking in his eyes for longer than one second.

He also knew that he was lacking in many ways, knew that he was messing up lately. Ever since Eun Suk had showed up again she made sure that she was the only thing Kyungsoo could see. He felt tired just by looking at her, having to be around her, having to play along with her jokes. It’s true that they had some kind of affair many year before, before he even dreamed of meeting Eun Byul, but it ended just as fast as it had begun. Kyungsoo soon realized that the two of them had very different views of the world. But as soon as Eun Suk showed up again it seemed that she wanted to revive the past, even though she already knew Kyungsoo was married.

Even his close friend, Baekhyun, told him that Eun Byul had been acting off, in a way she never truly did. His friend noticed how his wife seemed that much more tense quieter. “She won’t even laugh at my stupid jokes anymore”, Baekhyun had said.

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“Anyone with eyes...”

Here it is guys the moment we have all been waiting for thank you so much @irenedrew your pictures turned out so so beautiful and I’m so excited to be able to SEE my story alive like that. Collaborating has made this extra fun and I hope everyone who reads this story and sees your art is as excited as I am!

This story is for the prompt 

“I really want to see the Captain of the Desus ship, Rick, get fed up with the non-movement of the sip and call all hands on deck to get it sailing.”

Ill include an AO3 link if that’s your preferred format otherwise read more!

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Thanks for losing your request virginity on this blog! (´∀`•) I always end up in a smiling ditz whenever anyone compliments me on my works~ (*゚∀゚*) Thank you!… and sorry this took too damn long (πーπ)


The last thing she heard before being blinded by flashes, was a heart-wrenching scream from Chuya, calling out her name frantically. Flashes filled her vision - dyeing the world a snowy white despite already snowing. And within a few milliseconds the world turned crimson red as soon as it was washed with white.

She wouldn’t stop, immersed far too deeply into the boiling peak of the climax of battle, past the point of reason; a soul drunk off the rounds of adrenaline that coursed throughout the body. In a split second, the tension building from her arms went slack, until Chuya pushed her away toward the ground covered with snow attempting to protect his lover from further injuries.

She reveled in a small chuckle, as the taste of sharp copper was fresh in her gullet. By then, she’d collapsed without the aid of Chuya, releasing the weapon that had faltered from her tight grip.

Chuya rushed to her side as soon as he regained from his position on the ground and processed the scenes that had just played out before his eyes. His lover had been the type that loved adventures lead by adrenaline so much that he feared for her every single time she was sent on missions or insisted to follow him on his. He now regrets ever giving in to her pleas and whines as he witnesses his lover impaled on the calf and dangerously near her chest, laying limply on the ground.

Within moments, he was by her side leaning the side of his head on her chest waiting for a heave of her chest as signal. He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as the anticipated heave was found. He looks up and finds her eyes barely opening and her cracked lips muttering an almost inaudible ‘Chuya’. He picked his lover up from the icy ground bridal style as he threaded across the snowy heaps as fast as his legs could take him; the battle discarded from his list of priorities.

The lengthy trip to the ward back at base couldn’t compete with Chuya’s determination and speed as he arrived prior to 5 minutes of running. He wasn’t allowed to go beyond the white curtains as his lover did, and was escorted to have a seat as he waited for the outcome. His felt his pulse pounding all the way up his throat. Adrenaline that his lover longed for so much had not calmed down. His hands shivering with fear or chill, he did not know. He didn’t have long to think on it as a doctor that was tending to _____ approached him with a face of trained undetectable expression.

“What the hell are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in there tending to her wounds?! What kind of a shitty doctor are you?” His words became erratic and so did his actions as he grabbed onto the doctor’s collar with both clenched fists.

“Calm down. I assure you she will be fine. She just needs rest and some time to recover from her injuries”

Seeing as Chuya had calmed down from his rage a little, the doctor decided to press on. “Her wounds didn’t turn out as fatal as the course of the impalement was made. I understand your worry, but she’s very lucky to have her ability; that way both her and the baby can be safe”

Upon hearing the doctor’s words Chuya slowly retracts his grips from the doctor’s collar; his eyes wide with disbelieve. He runs past the doctor into the room where his lover and possibly future child lie and slams the door behind him. He stares at ______’s sleeping form as he tries his best to take in the new information into his thought process.

______’s eyes flutter open instinctively as Chuya begins to walk over. It’s as if her body knows when Chuya is around even before she knows it. She tries her best to muster a big grin as she notices Chuya approach, despite the apparent pain on her leg and shoulder.

“You’re awake!” He rushes to her side and grabs her palm in his. “How are you feeling? Do you know how worried I was? God sometimes I feel like I have the need to bind you to me at all times to keep you safe!”

_______ chuckled at her lover’s protectiveness. “I’m fine. My wounds don’t feel too bad, so I guess they shouldn’t look as bad for you to worry this much” She said as she glances down to look at the wound on her calf. “Shit” she says, and she looked down again and then said “Shit” again. It did look kinda bad.

Chuya releases a sigh as he plops down onto a chair near the bed. “Don’t worry the doctor said you were very lucky to have your ability.. and that the baby wasn’t harmed in any way” he trails off and lets his eyes close from soreness.

He told her of his awareness in the calmest way possible on purpose. He lifts an eyelid open to take in his lovers reaction.

“How did you find out?! That damn doctor, I swear! Look, Chuya, I meant to tell you sooner or later. I just didn’t know how or when.. or how you would react, or if you’d leave me once you found out-”

He didn’t want to hear it anymore so he shut her up with a kiss on the lips. _______ was shocked at first, but relished into the kiss as soon as she was reassured by Chuya’s expression so closed to hers.

“Do you honestly believe I would leave you? You’re giving me the best gift I could ever ask for. I would never be stupid enough to miss out on our little bundle of joy.” He placed a palm on her slightly swelled belly. “So don’t worry your pretty little head about anything” He reassured her as he laid a kiss on her forehead.

_______ had wished she had told him sooner if she knew this was how he was going to react. At that moment everything was perfect. If only time could stop and kept replaying at this exact moment, she would have no other wishes. But life had to go on - they still had a baby to release into this world, and they still had a doctor to thank and apologize to.

Thanks for reading!

On The Road

A/N: This was a anon request. It is actually the first time I wrote a smutty one shot, so please tell me what you think. I MUST SAY IT’S EXTREMALLY DIRTY, if you don’t feel comfortable, don’t read it.

I was supposed to post this yesterday, but it was my birthday so it didn’t happen.

Make requests here.


I swayed my hips in the rhythm of the song as I sang the lyrics I wrote a while back. Some people standing in the middle of the crowd sang along with me, but being only the opening act at the One Direction concert, not everyone knew me or my music. Despite that, a lot of them continuing cheering and screaming my name, and I felt welcomed on stage.

I sang the last part of that song and looked at the guitarist, who played with the strings of the guitar. Behind him, some people were backstage watching my show, Niall was standing there with his phone in hands and I imagined he was texting someone, because he was almost all the time, and that’s something I learned about him in the little while I was on tour with those boys.

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Cupid’s Code


Originally posted by syubbie

Warnings: Cursing

Yoongi is the modern day cupid. Hes basically a normal human, but he has an ability. An ability that runs in his family. He’s the modern day cupid. His job along with his other family members is to play basically match maker. Only, in his job, he doesn’t get to chose who falls for who. Everyone has a set soulmate, and for Yoongi, he has sort of a vision trick. When someone is ready to meet their soul mate, their hearts glow a warm yellow in Yoongi’s vision. His job is to touch them for three seconds in some way, and that will cause them to fall in love with their true soul mate. But, when Yoongi meets Jimin and sees the boy is glowing… He notices something odd. You see, modern day cupids are destined to live alone. Their parents are immortal and basically just produce more cupids when their children die. But for Yoongi… When he sees Jimin, Jimin glows… But not the usual warm yellow color. Jimins heart is in fact glowing blue, and this intrigues Yoongi. The boy decides to slowly ease his way into Jimin’s life, wanting to see if he could figure out why Jimin’s heart glows blue… But after a while, Yoongi starts to notice that he’s falling for the blue hearted boy, which is very much forbidden, and Jimin on the other hand starts to notice that Yoongi will never touch him for more than two seconds.. what will become of this duo? Will there be an exception in love for the two? Or will they have to deny their feelings and follow Cupid’s Code.

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Title: Stuck with Satan and Protecting his Vessel (oneshot)

Author: luciferiswriting

Fandom: Supernatural / reader

Characters: Lucifer x Reader, Sam, Crowley, Rowena

Words: 1828

Warnings: Swearing

Note: Let me know if you want a part 2 and if so, send some ideas :)

Summary: Sam goes to pay a visit to Lucifer down in hell, but you’ve been told to go along and make sure nothing happens to him. Things don’t go to plan and you’re now stuck in a cage with Satan himself and his vessel. What could happen?!

“You’re certain you can do this without actually opening the cage?” Crowley asked Rowena

“We’re about to find out, aren’t we?” She grins “Foro dega la moray… Mah ho tah!”

The symbols start to illuminate and fire surrounds the cage. I start to feel uneasy and shift my weight slightly. ‘Why am I letting him do this’ I think to myself. I look at Sam, about to say something when Rowena continues.

“Now let’s have a go at the cage. Foh reh say-lah!” Thunder sounds and lightning starts to flash making me flinch slightly. The fire starts to become fiercer. I focus my attention on Sam, he knows I can get him out if he wants to, he just has to say. He seems panicked, as if he needs air, I furrow my brows as he walks away, watching him closely, and I hadn’t noticed the presence in the cage.

“My old friend Crowley”

“A mere acolyte, carrying your torch” Lucifer chuckles

“You’re too kind…to yourself.”

I roll my eyes and scoff, talk about calling kettle black. Lucifer diverts his attention and his knowing smirk on his face, his usual glint in his eye. At the corner of my eye I see Crowley narrowing his eye towards me, whilst Rowena is trying to calm herself from not going over-board fangirl – like seriously – I roll my eyes again and walk to the shadows. I pass Sam on the way.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“It’s our only option.”

“We find another one then” Sam shakes his head and walks toward the cage, facing his worst nightmare.

I lounge in the dark shadows watching the two closely. I glance up to the podium where Crowley and Rowena are, Crowley seems to be trying to focus on what’s happening whilst Rowena is… is she drooling? Ugh I think I’ll go and throw up. Let’s just hope Sam stays strong throughout all this.

I don’t like this, I really don’t like this. This feeling isn’t a good one, it never is with the damn Winchesters. Getting agitated I decide to listen in, I’ve been nothing but compliant, now I’m going with gut feeling.

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Heavily Broken (Bucky Barnes imagine)
  • Requested by:

Anon: Bucky and the reader are saying goodbye at the end of the film when he will be frozen,she kisses him and Bucky is surprised then she asks"My God have I gone too far?” and he kisses her back and whispering “no”

@badwolfandtimelords :Could I get a reader who loves Bucky and decided to stay in Wakanda to watch over him as he’s put on ice again. Tearful good bye, that sort of thing?

  • A/N: Like I promised, here is another story. I kinda combined two requests together (because of how much they were similar). I don’t know if I’ll have time to write before june considering I have some very important exams coming so, forgive me if I take a little bit of time to post all the requests.
    I hope you’ll like this one and I sure hope it’ll make you as emotional as I was when I wrote it ; )

« Y/N »

Sitting in front of a large glass wall, the woman starred attentively at the landscape before her eyes. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen such peaceful beauty. Protected inside the King T’Challa’s secret base, buried deep in the wild forest of Wakanda, she was mesmerized by the sight. There were so much colors blending under the sun’s lights, so much life. This was the only place she could find to ease her mind. She had starred at those same trees all day long, lost in her ache, desperately trying to delay what was bound to happen.

« You’ve been out here for hours now » She heard her friend say above her.

« I know » She whispered in a small voice.

« They’re almost ready »

« I’m not sure I can do it » She muttered.

« I know you’re worried about him »

« Hm … Worried doesn’t even begin to cover it, Steve » She shook her head, still entranced by the sight outside the walls.

She felt his hand on her shoulder, a comforting gesture to try and reassure her somehow.

« I’m scared » She admitted in a breath.

« I know the feeling »

He knelt down beside her, his eyes traveling on the splendid spectacle of colors in front of them.

« I like this place » He told her, making the woman smile. She knew he was trying to deviate the conversation, to help her delay the pain of her heart breaking.

Leaning her head on his shoulder, she took a deep breath as her gaze followed the birds flying from one tree to another.

« Y/N … » He started, his voice barely a murmur.

« Don’t say it, Steve »

« I’m hurting too » He confessed. « But this is his choice »

His hand squeezed hers when he felt her tears wetting his shirt.

« He remembered something last night » She told him in a quiet voice.

« What was it ? »

« Did I ever told you how we met ? » She asked.

« No. I saw how close you were, I didn’t need any explanation » He affirmed.

« I was his mission » She confessed, making Steve straightened in surprise. «The day we met, he tried to kill me… Last night, he remembered the gun he pointed at me, he remembered almost shooting me »

« Y/N … »

« I know this is the best decision, I know we have to do it. I know … Steve, I know we can’t afford for the Winter Soldier to come back. There is a thousand reasons why this is what has to be done, but all those reasons seem so vain to me. »

She angrily brushed the tears on her face, turning to look at the Captain.

« I know this is what he wants » She insisted. « But it doesn’t make it right. »

« Are you going to say goodbye ? » He asked after a minute.

« I don’t know if I’m strong enough for that » She admitted.

« You’re gonna break his heart »

« His heart is already broken, Steve. Hydra made sure to tore it into pieces. »

He gently stroked her arm, silently agreeing with her statement. There wasn’t much left of his best friend, but he was still here, and he owed it to the woman sitting beside him.

« You see that door behind us ? » He questioned her.

She turned around and looked at the white door where the word ‘Lab’ was inscribed in black letters. She didn’t need him to say anything, she already knew what was behind those walls.

« He’s waiting for you » He continued. « I get what you’re saying and I agree with every single word you said, but, behind this door, he’s waiting to say goodbye to the only person who’s ever believed in him. I might not get this bond tightly linking you to one another, but I know you both need this. You can’t let him go like this, Y/N. I know it hurts, it will take all your strength to let him go, but you need to see him, one last time. Trust me when I say you will regret it if you don’t. I waited too long to tell Peggy how much she meant to me, and look where that got me. Don’t make the same mistake, Y/N. For both your sakes »

« I must be one hell of a mess to deserve a speech from Captain America himself » She lightly joked, trying not to break in front of him.

This whole situation was too much for her to handle. She had learned to fight, to resist, no matter the cause, no matter the opponent, she was taught to always be the best version of herself. She was not weak, she was a weapon, designed for battle. This flow of emotions invading her was too much, she was drowning inside the pain. Because she had let her guard down, Bucky Barnes had infiltrated every inch of her being, taken place inside her heart. She was blinded by the force of her feelings for him. She had fought for him, along side with him, and she had lost him to Hydra countless times. Each of those moments had tore her apart. She had watched his mind being tortured, again and again. Powerless against his demons, she had anxiously waited for him to come back from his own prison, scared it might have been one time too many.

She slowly got up, deciding to bite back her feelings and go see him. Without a word, Steve followed her as she walked to the white door.
Instinctively, she took a step back when he was about to open it. Steve stopped the moment she backed away and gently grabbed her hand.

« Ready ? » He quietly asked.

She shook her head, taking a deep breath. The Captain sadly smiled, doing his best to comfort his friend. He took his time to open the door, giving her one last second to prepare herself.

« Ah ! Captain ! » A man in a white lab coat called. « Everything is settle. We can begin whenever you want »

« I’m going to need you to clear the room for a couple minutes, gentlemen » The Captain ordered.

« What’s going on, Steve ? » The patient asked, worriedly looking at his friend as the doctors quickly got out.

« There’s someone here to see you, Buck’ »

Steve tugged the woman into the room before she could have the chance to change her mind and run.
Sitting on a medical bed, with only one arm and several tubes hooked up to him, Bucky was surprised to see her. He immediately noticed her puffy eyes, only visible sign of sadness. She was standing straight, looking at an imaginary point behind him. Not one detail could give away the internal struggle she was facing. Bucky could see past that facade, she was an open book to him, and the way she stubbornly stared behind him broke his heart. He could see the hesitation behind her gaze, guess the pain that was slowly settling within her because of him.

« I didn’t think you’d come » He cautiously stated.

« Neither did I, but we both know how much of a smooth talker Captain America is » She responded, addressing a smile to Steve as the man step aside to give them privacy.

They didn’t talk for a while, starring at anything but each other. She was doing her best to keep her emotions at bay but the overwhelming need to be close to him kept getting stronger.

« Does it hurt ? » She demanded, nodding toward his missing limb.

« No » He honestly replied.

« I’m sorry you went though that again »

« I’m not. It’s better this way » He confessed.

She pursed her lips, not daring to answer. She could feel the anger boiling inside her. She was mad at him for giving up the fight, mad at Hydra for crushing their life once again, mad at herself for letting him in, for falling for the Winter Soldier.

« What’s gonna happen now ? » She fearfully asked in a broken voice.

« I’m going to sleep, hopefully long enough for them to figure out how to block out Hydra from my head» He told her. « And you, Y/N, you’re going to be just fine »

« I’m not so sure about that » She whispered, quickly brushing a tear that had just fallen.

«  I know you, Y/N. You were always the strongest one, always getting back up, no matter what was being thrown at you. You can’t let that change, you can’t let me change you »

« You already have, Bucky » She admitted in a strangle breath.

He sweetly smiled before reaching out for her. She quickly shorten the distance between them and took his hand. None of them needed to talk. Gazing into each others eyes, they stayed in the same position, their hands entwined, her body between his legs, their faces close to one another. She could see the emptiness in his stare, the desperate need for an ounce of hope, the devastation of his broken soul. Her heart ache for him when she thought of everything he had gone through. Bucky Barnes would be forever wounded by the action of the Winter Soldier, his mind was trapped inside a cage where he was reliving each memories infinitely, remembering each name he had scratched. He never told her that, among everything he recalled from his past life, the very first torture session performed to rob him of his identity was one of them. He could still feel the agony rushing through him, but the heavy weight of guilt on his conscience had done more damage than the pain he had been forced to endure. He hadn’t said anything, and he didn’t need to, because she knew. Every time she looked back, his overwhelming sorrow became hers and his obsessional fear of losing control crushed them both. He was possessed by the Winter Soldier and Bucky Barnes was no match against the Soldat.

« No one can hurt you now » She reassured him, sweetly stroking his cheek.

« I know » He whispered, his voice trembling.

« I’ll stay with you, Bucky » She promised. « I’ll watch over you »

« I don’t want you to »

She tilted her head, waiting for his explanation.

« You have a whole life waiting for you, Y/N. I don’t want you to be held back. You need to live your life the way you did before we met. You are an Avenger now, a hero. There is a world out there that needs you. They will see how amazing and strong you are, they will see you through my eyes. You are my hero, Y/N. Now is the time for you to be theirs. »

« You say that like this is the last time I’ll ever see you » She brokenly spoke, her gaze searching his.

« It is »

« No … »

She violently took a step back, putting some distance between them as the tears she had tried so hard to held back flowed freely on her face.

« You can’t say that, you can’t leave letting me think this is our last conversation, no, no, James you can’t … »

« Then I would lie » He replied softly, as if afraid to frighten her.

« You’re breaking my heart, Bucky Barnes » She confessed.

« I never meant to hurt you. I’m … I have to protect you, even if it is from myself. I can’t let anything happen to you, Y/N »

She shook her head, not wanting to argue with him. There was a lot of unsaid feelings between them, but they never doubted each others loyalty. During the years she had known him, they had never crossed the line, had always remained friends. She helped him remember the man he once was, she fought for his identity, and in the process, she fell for the broken man. The Winter Soldier was never a villain to her, it was a name that had much more meaning than being an enemy. He was a fail experiment Steve and Y/N had brought back to life, a man Hydra had taken as a puzzle, scattering each pieces, scratching each lines. They had made him empty, created a void of true emotions. They had shut him down, tore Bucky Barnes and reprogrammed his mind to be a weapon. He had became Hydra caged animal and making him escape from his mental prison was her greatest accomplishment.

« Tell me again this is the right decision » She begged him, trembling. It was taking everything within her not to completely break down.

« It isn’t » He admitted, making her raised her head in surprise. « The right decision would have been to kill me when you had the chance »

She closed her eyes, pained by the force of his sincerity.

« I could never do that »

« I know » He smiled. « And I can’t trust my own mind, so, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head, I think going back under is the best thing. For everybody »

She pursed her lips, not wanting to voice her opinion out loud. Bucky was stubborn, just like she was. His decision was settled, she knew she couldn’t stop that.

« I’m going to miss you » He admitted quietly.

« Not as much as I’ll miss you »

She stepped in front of him, cupping his face when she saw his expression harden.

« What is it, Bucky ? » She worriedly questioned him.

« I’m … »

He shook his head, not wanting to admit what had just crossed his mind. She grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at her.

« Tell me » She gently ordered, making him smile.

« Always so bossy » He lightly joked.

« Don’t deflect the conversation, Barnes. Tell me what’s wrong »

« … I’m scared » He confessed, his eyes looking at anything but hers. The Winter Soldier had never seem so innocent and torn.

« You don’t have do to it, Bucky » She assured him. « At least not today. We can wait if you’re not ready »

« I’m not talking about that, Y/N. I’m ready to get back in cryo »

« Then what is it ? What are you afraid of ? » She persisted, not understanding what he meant.

« Forgetting you » He admitted. « I am … frightened, freaked out actually, by the idea of losing the memories of you »

She was speechless for a moment, taken aback by his confession.

« I know this isn’t Hydra, and the torture’s over but … the last time I did that, I didn’t remember who I was. » He started. « It’s irrational but … I’m afraid the moment I’ll close my eyes, the memories will fade. You will just … disappear. I can’t let you become one of the lost pieces. You made me hang on, all this time. You were my way back to reality, Y/N. I … I won’t survive if I lose that. You built a whole world for me, you made me stronger than I ever was and … I will…»

« Bucky, stop » She pleaded.

« Promise me you’ll be alright, that even if I don’t remember … »

« That won’t happen » She cut him firmly.

« If I become the Winter Soldier again, you have to kill me » He seriously said, starring furiously back at her.

« I won’t do that ! » She practically shouted. « My god, Bucky, you are not going to forget me »

« How do you know ? Nobody can tell the expand of what Hydra has done »

« You’re right b… »

« See ! » He added before she could continue. « You just admitted it was a possibility. »

« That’s not what I said. Now, would you please stop this crap ! »

« Y/N, I have nothing to hang on but memories. If I lose them, I lose everything!»

« You won’t lose anything, Bucky »

« You don’t know that » He yelled, frustrated. « Nobody can guaranty all the moments we lived will stay in my memory. I could forget the conversations we had, just like that. With time, you could fade, and everything we built will crash, like … like we never even tried to put that life behind me ! »

« Bucky … »

« No, listen to me, Y/N … »

« Shut up ! Just shut up, Barnes ! »

Tired of his vain fight, she grabbed his face pushing him toward her. Softly, their lips touched. Her mouth was hard on his, unyielding, nervous, waiting for a reaction. When, finally, his lips softened against hers, she grabbed his shirt, pushing his body even closer than he already was. She could feel his heart hammering against her hand and her whole body was melting, consumed by his kiss. They both could feel the rush of adrenaline running through them. Their moment was suspended, out of time, so precious they would have done anything to preserve it.
When she realized what she had done, she took a quick step back, out of breath. She couldn’t dare to look at him, too scared he wouldn’t reciprocate her feelings.

« My god, have I gone too far ? » She muttered, more to herself than to him.

Her eyes closed, she attempted to calm her fast heart rate. Her whole body seemed ignite by fire and she was sure that if Bucky’s hand wasn’t tightly clasped on her hip, her legs would have most likely given out.
Before she could even process what was happening, he leaned closer, his mouth just inches from her.

« No » He answered, smiling, before locking their lips once again.

« Remember that » She whispered, breathless, leaning her forehead against his. « Every time you feel the memories fading, remember me »

Without any warning, he hugged the woman as tightly as he could. He desperately needed to memorize every curves and every inches, to keep locked in his mind the sweet scent of lavender he could smell in the crock of her neck, the softness of her curls falling on her shoulders. She felt like a dream, out of reach, pigment of his imagination.

« Bucky, it’s time » They heard Steve call behind them.

Reluctantly, they let go of each other. Bucky stepped up, smiling down at the woman he loved. Entwining their hands, they walked to the center of the room where the doctors were already working on the abominable machine.
He could feel the apprehension of the woman beside him as she slowly stopped, trying to quickly wipe the tears off her face before he could notice.
When he took a step away from her, she bit back a sob, clasping a hand on her mouth. His chest was tightening every time he looked at her. He was ready to give up, turn back and run with her, but, every time he remembered the man Hydra made of him, he knew the best solution was to be put away. She wouldn’t be safe as long as there was a chance for the Winter Soldier to hurt her and he loved her too much to take any risks.

She silently watched as they hooked him up to the machine, not bothering to hide her sadness anymore.
The Captain, just behind her, put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

« You’re gonna be alright » He assured her.

« You know that’s not true » She whispered.

He didn’t answer, knowing no word he could ever say would ease their pain. He sadly looked back at Bucky and felt his heart breaking for his best friend when he saw the way he starred at her. He didn’t flinch as the needles were shoved in his arms, didn’t showed any sign of pain when they tightened the straps around him, his gaze was always on her. For the first time since Steve had known him, Bucky Barnes cried. He was about to lose his touch with reality.

« You take care of her for me, punk » Bucky brokenly told his friend.

« I will » The Captain promised.

Y/N stood in front of him, waiting for the doctors to turn the device on.

« Y/N ? » Bucky called.

She raised her head, his face blurry for a moment because of the flowing tears on her face.

« I lo … »

« Don’t say it » She cut him, begging, her voice barely a whisper.

He softly smiled, his eyes never leaving hers.

« You need to hear it before I go »

She shook her head. Brick by brick, her walls were tumbling down. There was an enormous gaping wound slowly taking place inside her heart.

« No » She tried to smile. « Save it, Barnes. You’ll say it when you’ll wake up »

« It might be a while » He sadly replied.

« I will wait »

They both knew that time would most likely never come, but they both needed something to hold onto. It was a mirage, an illusion, an unachievable dream, but they needed to believe it was possible for that fake reality to be true.

« I will remember you » He firmly guaranteed as they closed the glass door around him.

« I know »

« I will find you, Y/N. Wherever you are, I promise to find you »

She smiled, keeping that last image of him engraved in her heart.

« Until then, Bucky Barnes »

They kept starring at each other as the doctors turned the machine on. All too soon, a white smoke started to surround him. She could swore she saw him mouthing the three words she had kept him from saying and, finally, she broke. She tried to clasp onto something, anything, to hold onto and, before she could fall, Steve was beside her, hugging her tightly. Overcome by a wave of emotions, she let go. All the defenses she had worked so hard to keep on washed away in her tears. As much as she tried to hold it on, the pain came out like an uproar from her throat in the form of a silent scream. He was gone, her whole world was shattered, it had turned into a blur.

She didn’t even notice when Steve carried her to another room, settling her down on a couch. He stayed next to her as she cried her heart out, wishing he could have done something for her and Bucky.
Gently, he put a blanket on her, stroking her back. There wasn’t any word to ease her grief. Being beside her, showing her he was there was enough.

Several hours later, when, finally, she had calm down, she had sneaked out of the room, going back to the glass wall. The landscape seemed to have lost its colors. Her world was turning gray. Everything single thing around her seemed as lifeless as she felt.

« I knew I’d find you here » Steve said as he walked into the room, leaning against the wall, next to her.

« It’s quiet » She hoarsely whispered. « And peaceful »

« Hm »

They stayed there, in the same position, watching the trees and the waterfall, trying to find beauty in pain.

« I’m sorry, Steve »

« What for ? »

« You lost him too, again »

He softly smiled, turning to her.

« He’ll come back » He assured her.

« I wish I could believe that »

« We might wait years, but I’m sure we’ll see him again »

She didn’t want to contradict him. As much as it was painful to admit it to herself, she was lost the man she loved and Steve had, once again, lost his family. The Captain needed time to grief his friend once again, she wasn’t going to force it on him.

« Hm … You’re going back to the Avengers ? » She asked, changing the conversation.

« Yes. The war is not over »

« When is it ever over, Captain ? » She joked, happy to see him crack a small laugh.

« You’re coming with us ? »

« I have to watch over Bucky »

He gently took her hand, squeezing it as he forced her to face him.

« He told you not to, Y/N »

« When have I ever listen to him ? » She stubbornly stated.

« You’re hurting yourself »

« Trust me, there’s nothing left to hurt »

He frowned, preparing himself to give her a thousand reason as to why her place was with the Avengers, fighting back against the enemy.

« Don’t try to convince me to go with you, Steve » She smiled when she saw his face, deeply focusing on what he wanted to say. « I won’t leave him. The government is still looking for him »

« I know » He sighed.

« Don’t worry » She continued, nudging him. « I won’t let anything happen to him »

« There’s no one I trust more than you when it comes to Bucky »

« Really ? » She seemed surprise by his sudden admission. « Why ? »

« You love him. »

« Hm … I wish it could be that simple »

« It sure seems simple enough for me. You both love each other. I saw the way he starred at you in there. It’s the same way you stare at him, like nothing else around you mean anything without each other »

She brushed a fresh tear, turning to look at the landscape once again.

« They put him to sleep for god knows how long, and even if he wakes up, he will be hunt down. Falling in love with the Winter Soldier is not what I would call simple. There is no happy ending here, no version of this story where we could be together. We’re both broken people, with broken hearts. » She confessed, her eyes following the course of the waterfall. « Truth is, Rogers, none of us was ever meant to be happy »

You Were Never Just My Friend

54. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. That’s the problem.”

Prompted by @jean-jehan-prouvaire and an anon. Sorry it took a while. It’s a bit rushed, and I ended up mixing in a couple of the other prompt lines (77, 78, 87) - but it just kind of went there :) Hope you enjoy reading it!

“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. That’s the problem.

Oliver’s head shot up at the words, catching a flash of something unreadable in Connor’s eyes, before his best friend (were they still best friends now?) hurriedly looked away.

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