Actual things my Russian teacher has said this year
“Imagine my confusion when I arrived in Russia not being able to read, and seeing the word “pectopah” everywhere. It sounds like somewhere ghosts eat”
When a kid in my class was struggling to do the rolled R sound “Oh so that means you can’t do any bird calls? I pride myself on my bird calls. I speak bird better than I speak Russian” and proceeds to show us all of his different bird calls.
When I asked him to pass me my water bottle from the front desk he shouts “VODKA” and smells it “Actually it just smells like lemons. LEMON VODKA”
“Tom, your Cyrillic handwriting is worse than a 7 year old’s and you’re only writing “Tom” “
“The Щ character sounds just like a train. Shch shch shch come on, do it with me” and then forces us to make a train around the classroom going “shch shch shch“
Upon seeing that he’s late to dismiss us “You’ll be Russian to your next class! HahAA!”