like what is the point of a high school show without one we just don't know

anonymous asked:

the gay kiss in svtfoe is like 1 sec long i wish you guys would stop gaslighting people with this being good rep when the entire second season is given over to a completely unnecessary supposedly heterosexual love triangle, because they won't ever canonize marco as a girl. like seriously. pretending this is great rep has consequences, it alienates fans and it tells disney and other corporations they can throw us scraps and that they don't need to try to get our pink dollars. Stop.


First of all, I can do whatever I want. Second of all, I can do whatever I want. And third, I can do whatever I want.

Okay? Glad we established that. With that out of the way, I’m gonna be very clear with people like you who keep telling me and other people like what we should want, need and demand. 

Star has done a lot in terms of destroying gender roles and other stereotypes and taboos for kids and young people out there. Its characters are not flat and they have their own personalities, their own lives and agency, which don’t conform to gender norms as they have been force-fed to us by society. Breaking this kind of stereotypes is gonna be so liberating for so many kids. For example:

  • You don’t have to be girly to be a girl (Janna is into a lot of creepy and icky stuff usually considered boyish, just to mention someone)
  • Being feminine doesn’t define your gender (Marco, and I’m gonna get back to you on this)
  • Having trouble managing your anger does not make you a bad person (Tom. who is working so hard to keep it under control and improve because he wants to be better)
  • You can have a bunch of mixed, apparently contradicting traits, and that doesn’t make you less worthy of the gender you identify with (Star is very girly and likes cute stuff but still kicks ass and loves every second of it)
  • Boys can be affectionate with other boys (if we assume, based on what we know at the moment, that Marco identifies as a boy, and again, I’ll get back to you on that), and that’s okay (Marco and Tom, even though I still think the whole Friendenemies episode was very homoerotic)

Originally posted by mettatonexox

I’m really grateful for this new wave of cartoons (such as Star vs The Forces of Evil, Gravity Falls or Steven Universe). Different shows are exploring different themes from different angles, and that doesn’t mean that one is necessarily above the other. Star may not be exploring queerness in full (like Steven Universe does, for example), more like touching upon its surface, but it is still playing a role in its normalisation.

Never did I say that the infamous 1-second gay kiss was good rep. For me to call it rep, I would need it to feature at least characters whose names we know. But you know what? I’m okay with it being something in the background and I don’t consider it gaslighting, because as far as I know, the show did not make a big deal out of it, they did not announce “Hey! We are giving you guys gay rep! Look at all the diversity we’re including!”. I actually heard nothing from the show-runners. It was the media that blew up and made a huge deal out of it because of some stupid parents’ reaction. The whole thing was a nice detail that acknowledged the existence of gay people and made an effort to normalise queerness by showing them doing something as mundane as going to a concert with their partners. Period.

And on that note, I want to add that yes, more than this is desirable and it’s okay (it’s very important, actually!) to ask for proper representation. But we can’t close our eyes to the stuff that’s already come our way just because it’s not as much as we wanted it to be. Things take time. Society is still coming to terms with LGBT+ people, and rushing them is only gonna make them clam up and reject any notion of it. Hell, parents wanted to take Star out of Disney XD because they were outraged by a 1-sec cartoon gay kiss! Even though I’m tired of waiting, I see that Disney is treading on thin ice with its more conservative audience and has to carefully plan its every step. And they are still making progress. Slowly, but surely.

We got Beauty and the Beast with gay LeFou (even though I still think it should have been the clock and the candelabra), despite the foreseeable boicot from many people. I’m not saying “we’re good, we can stop demanding stuff from show-runners and movie directors”, I’m saying, “let’s appreciate the progress we’re making while aiming for more”. We’ve come a long way since Disney’s massive no-homo when High School Musical gave a girlfriend to Ryan, literally the gayest man alive in the Disney Universe.

And about the “unnecessary heterosexual love triangle”: I dunno, anon, I’m a storyteller and I saw it coming for a long time. The show built up to that point. It’s not like they pulled it out of their asses. Would I have wanted it to be a love square featuring Tom? Why yes, absolutely, but oh well. It still makes sense in the story they’re telling and it’s integrated in the plot. It would have been weird if Marco, who had been crushing on Jackie since Day 1, had just moved on from her without thinking twice.

Originally posted by cosmicstimmer

Now, about Trans!Marco: I’m gonna be very honest with how I view it, and I’ll also let you know that I’m transgender myself (non-binary pal here, hey, how are ya), as well as a transgender rights activist and lecturer, so I know what I’m talking about. I have nothing against the Trans!Marco fannon, obviously. I think some seed has been planted in the show and as of now, people can make of it what they will. I’d be thrilled and on board if there were any confirmation from TPTB. But I’m not taking it as anymore than that for now, and I’ll entertain both Trans!Marco and Cis!Marco notions. Why?

Yes, Marco has been shown as Princess Marco several times already, pronouns have been changed to feminine and nobody has questioned Marco’s new status during those times. However, Marco hasn’t expressed a particular preference for being treated as a girl (true, no preference for masculine treatment has been expressed either, so we’re kind of in a neutral zone I guess?). I mean, you see Marco wearing dresses and a wig with no complain, as well as being treated as a girl, but after that episode is over, you don’t really see Marco displaying any signs of discomfort with gender identity or pronouns or disphoria or gender expression or anything like that. Actually, the character’s development continues as it was before that happened (anybody else remembers that episode where Marco lives on a different dimension for 16 years and embraces every masculinity trope under the sun?). 

Originally posted by soyalexnajera

Now I’m not saying you have to meet a bunch of requirements to be trans (I’m no trans gatekeeper), but these are the kind of things that usually give it away when we’re talking about someone else’s experience, since we are not inside their head. 

Yes, Marco does possess some traits traditionally associated with femininity (like spending hours getting ready for the date with Jackie), but they’re vague enough that they could mean something or nothing at all (like I said, the show does a lot to destroy gender roles). I feel like I can’t really call it for sure based on that. With how indifferent Marco seems to be to different pronouns, I’d actually say that there’s higher chances this character falls somewhere in the non-binary spectrum, rather than identifying as a girl. This is, of course, my personal opinion, and I might be wrong. But it goes to show that the hinting done in the show has been so subtle for now that it could go either way, and so, I fail to see why we should get angry that Marco isn’t being treated as a girl at the moment.

Just my two cents.

“Is Bruce in here?” Tim figured he might be— Bruce spent a lot of time in the children’s wing of Wayne Enterprises. There were a dozen or so kids in daycare most weekdays, and Bruce liked to hang out.

Tim liked to hang out too. They had nice snacks, and he’d known most of the kids since they were toddlers. And sometimes naps were mandatory.

“Conference call,” Damian told him. (For someone who claimed to hate naps, snackfood, kids, and humanity in general, Damian also spent a lot of time in the children’s wing.) “I don’t know where.” 

He went back to what he was doing, which was arranging a set of pewter soldiers into a complex model of a battlefield, presumably for the benefit of the preschooler sitting next to him. 

“What’s this?”

“The Battle of Issus, 333 BC.”

“Right, obviously.” Tim decided he was curious, so he settled down on the mats to watch.  Damian finished his model; he pulled a marker from the art table and used it as a pointer. 

“Okay. This is the Macedonian army, outnumbered but in the better tactical position, south of the Pinarus River. Their leader is Alexander the Great. And this—” He pointed to his enemy line. “—is the Achaemenid Empire. They’re about to lose.”

Damian tapped his marker on the Macedonian right. “This is the companion calvary, Alexander’s elite force, and they—” he cut off when he noticed his pupil digging in the toy bin, clearly distracted. The kid came up with a battered Transformer, which he set behind Damian’s lines. 

“Elliot. Alexander did not have robots.”

“But,” said Tim, rummaging through the box himself, “did he have wizards?” He pulled a bearded magician out of the tub and held it up for Damian to see. 

“You know he didn’t.”

Tim passed the wizard to Elliot. “But what if he did?”


“How would that go?”


“Abracadabra, Alexander!” Elliot yelled, gleefully smashing through Damian’s entire left flank.

“Damn it, Drake.” Damian sighed in frustration— not quite the rise Tim was hoping for, but still something. He dropped Elliot’s discarded robot back into the box.

“I don’t know what you were expecting,” Tim told him. “Elliot’s four. He’s too young for— what is this— military history?”

“He was doing fine before you showed up.” Damian started to re-erect his soldiers, but he gave it up after Elliot came in for a second pass. “Which is typical, isn’t it?”

“Good one.”

“Thank you.” Damian crossed his arms. “Fine. I’ll bite. When is he supposed to learn this kind of thing?”

“High school? Maybe never.”

“That can’t be right.”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“Frequently.” Damian rolled his eyes. “I’m getting a second opinion.”

“I’ll wait.”

Damian checked the room for potential allies. “Thomas?” he called over his shoulder, “You learned military strategy as a kid, right?”

Duke looked up from the book he was reading to a pair of kindergardeners. “Just you, man.”

“Told you.” Tim fished a bag of plastic ninja from the toy box and arranged them pointedly into a row. “How are you still surprised by this kind of thing?”

Damian glared at him. “Okay, first of all? I’m not a— hold on a second. Elliot!”

Elliot froze with a large, plastic dinosaur held aloft over the battlefield. He drew it sheepishly back to his chest. “Sorry.”

“Not in the calvary wing,” Damian told him. “You’ll scare the horses.”

“Here?” Elliot pointed to the front of the phalanx.



“Aim for his center.” Damian turned back to Tim. “Anyway. Why are you still talking to me? I thought we had an agreement about unnecessary contact.”

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so i finally finished my exams and i’m celebrating with a list of completely pointless and very messy tfc headcanons

  • the foxes have an ongoing debate as to which high school musical movie is the best one. its gotten to the point that they can’t even watch them anymore without someone throwing down
  • one time when andrew and neil come back from one of their trips nicky asks them where will be left to go for their honeymoon if they keep using up destinations. andrew just stares at him
  • allison won’t tell any of the foxes her middle name. they only find out when wymack pulls the full name card on her
  • the future andreil apartment is definitely an absolute mess of interior design. we know andrew doesn’t care about decorating but neil definitely just gets attached to anything orange. can u imagine what a disaster
  • contrary to popular belief, allison’s favorite color isn’t pink, it’s red. it’s pretty much the only thing she and kevin have in common besides being bi as hell
  • dan is the kind of person who is generally very organized, but also shows up to the gym in workout clothes in three different colors, none of which match each other
  • the next time the foxes go to eden’s for halloween renee and allison dress as harley quinn and poison ivy bc they’re dating
  • matt unironically thinks the star wars prequels are good movies
  • neil might not be a runaway anymore but he will always have that (terrible) fashion sense. even years in the future if he ever looks good the credit always goes to andrew or allison
  • andrew is ambidextrous. he had broken arms/wrists/etc growing up and had to learn to use both hands
  • renee’s hair is naturally black. she’s pretty good at upkeep but u can tell because her roots show once in a while. allison likes to fix them for her.
  • kevin day, certified history buff, thinks the world wars are boring as hell, but will talk your ear off about ancient civilizations if he gets the chance
  • aaron 100% believes in aliens but would never admit it of free will
  • nicky is surprisingly good at poker. you’d think he’d be terrible at bluffing but he’s not?? which is good because i firmly believe the foxes’ tendency to put money on anything extends to gambling
  • allison has stretch marks on her thighs. they show most of the time because of her short dresses and she kills it
  • andrew has Standards™ when it comes to sweets. even if it’s an emergency 1am visit to the store he will walk out emptyhanded if all they have is candy corn or some other nasty shit
Initiatory Cultures 101

Originally posted by brooktiniwrite

So many times in the witchcraft community, I see a lot of gatekeeping.  This comes from a wide range of witches and it cannot really be pinpointed to any certain group or person.  We, as humans, are often very quick to tell someone “no”; we like to refuse explanations just as much.  And that, my friends, is a problem.

We see it on Tumblr all the time: Harriet is interested in *insert initiatory culture* and posts about how she is now part of said culture.  Someone climbs onto her feed and shrieks, “You have to be initiated to participate in those cultural activities!” Harriet backfires with, “Why, though?” and is met without an answer.  This is often followed with Harriet incessantly whining because she didn’t get her way and/or continuing to practice regardless of being told it is not okay.

And this situation doesn’t help anything or anyone.

That’s why your Saltmom is here to tell you the reason the WHY behind initiatory religions, practices, paths, and cultures.  I find that the more educated we allow our community to become, the better off and the more diverse we will be.

So, what is initiation anyway?

Initiation is a rite of passage marking entrance or acceptance into a group or society. It could also be a formal admission to adulthood in a community or one of its formal components. In an extended sense, it can also signify a transformation in which the initiate is ‘reborn’ into a new role. Examples of initiation ceremonies might include Hindu diksha, Christian baptism or confirmation, Jewish bar or bat mitzvah, acceptance into a fraternal organization, secret society or religious order, or graduation from school or recruit training. A person taking the initiation ceremony in traditional rites is called an initiate.

Characteristics of Initiation

Mircea Eliade was a Romanian historian of religion, fiction writer, philosopher, and professor at the University of Chicago. He was a leading interpreter of religious experience, who established paradigms in religious studies that persist to this day.  He discussed initiation as a principal religious act by classical or traditional societies. He defined initiation as “a basic change in existential condition,” which liberates humans from profane time and history. 

“Initiation recapitulates the sacred history of the world. And through this recapitulation, the whole world is sanctified anew… [the initiand] can perceive the world as a sacred work, a creation of the Gods.”


Basically, the function of initiation is to reveal the deep meaning of existence to the new generations in a culture.  It helps them assume the responsibility of being members of their culture and actively participating in their traditions.

I get that part.  But what’s the problem?

The problem is that we live in a society that likes to participate in a little activity called:

(And yes, I totally used Comic Sans because I abhor both the font and the very act of appropriation.)

And for those of you who don’t know what that is: cultural appropriation is the unauthorized use of another culture’s dance, dress, music, language, folklore, cuisine, traditional medicine, religion, religious symbols, etc. 

TL;dr: Cultural appropriation is when somebody adopts aspects of a culture or community that’s not their own.

This is extremely damaging when the source community is a minority group that has been oppressed or exploited in other ways.

What do initiation and cultural appropriation have to do with one another?

You remember Harriet from earlier? Well, whether Harriet knows it or not, appropriating the initiatory culture of her choice does a great deal of harm to that culture.  Why?  Because she didn’t take the time to ask to be welcomed into said culture, which, in turn, means that Harriet is not privileged to be under the tutelage of an experienced member of that culture.  Harriet, while not being properly guided, could potentially bastardize and warp the very culture that she found herself being drawn to.

Harriet did not take the time to show respect to that culture by requesting to be a part of it.  The problem arises when somebody takes something from another less dominant culture in a way that members of that culture find undesirable and offensive. The point is that the more marginalized group doesn’t get a say, while their heritage is deployed by someone in a position of greater privilege (looking at you, Harriet)–for fun or fashion, perhaps, and out of a place of ignorance rather than knowledge of that culture. 

Without initiation, Harriet is stealing.  Period.

That’s horrible!  How can I avoid being culturally appropriative?

If you are curious about an initiatory religion, path, practice, or culture, go straight to the source.  Contact those that lead these communities.  Great examples of these efforts include:

  • Getting in touch with a First Nations’ tribe if you are interested in practicing a particular shamanic path that falls under their traditions.
  • Visiting (or calling!) the New Orleans Voodoo Temple if you have recently decided that maybe Louisiana Voodoo is a practice you would like to pursue and asking questions.
  • Taking classes and studying the religion you find yourself being drawn to before even remotely considering practicing it.

Little acts of respect such as these (and more) show us that we not only hold the cultures to high regard, but that we also honor traditions that do not inherently belong to us.  

Final Thoughts

With a little more empathy and effort, we can make our community better by recognizing that we all have work to do.  That means taking the time to explain why something might negatively affect our other witchy brothers and sisters, and doing our part to protect their traditions as much as we would our own.

That’s all for now!
Witch Haven Community Creator, Server Mom, BAMF
Find her @saltwaterwitchery

falling for you (reddie)

summary: the winter formal is coming around, and everyone is scrambling to find dates. eddie is hoping that maybe the signs richie’s been giving him means that richie will ask him, but is disappointed when he learns that richie has accepted another date.

pairing: reddie

word count: 2.9k

warnings: none

a/n: this is my first reddie writing and one shot (it’s fuckin’ long im sorry, i probs should’ve broke it up in parts), so i hope it’s not too horrible. i haven’t read the book yet, only seen the movie/tv series, so i don’t know all of the nuances yet! i’ll do my best <3 feedback and comments/likes are appreciated and welcomed! oh also. the losers are around 16/17, taking place in modern times. some things might be different but i hope you welcome it

OH. song of the one shot is fallingforyou by the 1975. i listened to it while writing so maybe i’ll get you in the right mood

“gaaaay!” the losers looked over towards the end of their cafeteria table, not one of them surprised to see the person behind the call was none other than richie tozier.

despite richie being the only one to not have the same lunch period as them, he still managed to get out of history to come and bother the gang.

“beep. beep. richie.” stan pronounced each word with a hard pause, a slight glare finding his features as he gripped his boyfriend, bill’s, hand tighter.

“i’m just joking around. don’t get your damn panties in a twist, staniel..” the trashmouth grinned, taking a seat in the spot that he normally sat in - right next to eddie. “besides, everyone knows i ship stenbrough so hard.” a lanky arm was tossed around eddie’s shoulders, one which he shrugged off just as quickly in protest of his behavior.

everyone was used to richie’s antics, and ignored them for the most part. though, that hardly ever stopped tozier from continuing them. “mike, have you found a date to the winter formal yet?” beverly questioned across the table, leaning into ben’s side as his eyes glossed over homework reading instead of focusing on the lunch in front of him.

ahh. winter formal. in a small town like derry, maine, a school dance was something highly anticipated. buzz generally began weeks before.

“i’m stuck between rosie and taylor. you guys think they’d be down for a threeway date?”

as it was now, bill and stan, and ben and bev were supppsed to be attending the dance as couples, respectively. the only three without dates was richie, eddie, and mike.

the dance was only a week out, and eddie found himself shifting uncomfortably at the talk of the dance. he wasn’t sure that he would attend, but a huge part of him was hoping that he would be forced to go if a certain someone asked him to be their date.

“sure they would! who wouldn’t want some mclovin from you, mike? be careful, though. having two love interests can get preeeetty messy. eds and his mom would know.”

a frown crossed eddie’s face as he shoved richie’s shoulder gently. “beep beep richie! and don’t call me that! y’know i hate it when you call me that.” the frown on eddie’s face didn’t quite match the now hammering of his heart after registering that richie had identified him as a love interest. maybe eddie was reading too much into his joking. maybe richie’s increased flirting and touches was just him trying to be more annoying than usual.

“are you and eddie p-planning on g-g-going to the dance?” bill questioned, shooting a knowing look in both richie and eddie’s direction, causing eddie’s cheeks to lightly flush a pink while averting his gaze down onto his untouched food.

richie turned his attention on eddie, a small smile finding his lips as he stared at the pretty, small, teenage boy. it had taken him a few days to decide whether he wanted to go big with his formal date invitation to eddie or not.

it would have been his first time asking eddie out.

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NEEDED: Generic Father Figure for Backyard BBQ

4.5k words based on this Craigslist ad

Fourth of July fic featuring a 20-year age difference, shotgunning, chubby dad Dean, lots of weed and my actual dad Gary

To interested individuals,

We will be throwing a backyard barbeque on July 1 with a group of about 15 men and women between the ages of 21 and 25. While most of us know how to operate a grill, none of us are willing to fulfill the role of “BBQ dad.” That being said, we are in need of a generic father figure between 4 p.m. and 8 p.m. We’ll be partying well into the night, shooting off illegal fireworks, making out with each other, etc., so you’re welcome to stay and hang out all night or leave once the grilling duties are complete.

Duties include:

-Grilling hamburgers and hotdogs (while drinking beer)

-Refer to all male attendees as “big guy,” “chief,” “champ,” and all female attendees by their first names because we’re not weird

-Talk about dad things like lawnmowers, building your own deck, Jimmy Buffet, etc. Funny anecdotes are highly encouraged. All while drinking beer.

Desired experience:

-Minimum 18 years as a dad

-Minimum of 10 years grilling experience

-An appreciation of a nice, cold beer on a summer day

We can’t pay you in money, BUT we can give you all the food and cold beer your heart desires. Grill for a few hours, then sit back and crack open a few cold ones with the boys.

THIS IS A REAL AD. Do not hesitate to call if you are interested. Preference will be given to applicants named Bill, Dave or Gary.

Keep reading

notsarasblog  asked:

In ep8 the search team is out in the forrest, V is talking about her plans to go party and kev suggusts inviting bettey as a distraction and veronica goes "i think she allready has one" (or something like that) and points to the blossems i had thought she was pointing to jug and betty at first. Could you maybe write a fic: V and arch don't connect the dots about bughead during the group couch scene and V and kev see bets and jug making out and tripping over tree branchs ect. (Fluff) thank you

Cute! I love it!

“Shhh” Jughead chuckled lowly, tugging Betty behind the trees, his hand wrapped around her tiny wrist.

She was giggling as her ankle got tangled up in a loose tree limb, causing her to fall directly into the handsome boys arms.

Blowing a loose strand of honey blonde hair out of her face, she looked up at him, sea green meeting stormy blue.

“Hi.” She smiled at him, her shiny white teeth showing through plump perfectly pink lips.

She was so damn pretty, it was almost impossible not to stare at her. Brushing a hand to her cheek, he looked down at her.

“How are you doing? Holding up okay?”

She sighed softly, leaning her head into his chest

“You mean the search party? Or the turf war against my family and the girl who’s made my entire high school experience miserable? Or maybe the fact that my pregnant sister is missing?” She laughed humorlessly, pulling even tighter into his body.

He smiled sadly at the exhausted blonde

“All of the above?”

She giggled, looking up at him.
“I’m okay. I’ve got you to hold me up don’t I?” Her eyes were tired, and even though he knew she was joking he could see the insecurity in her face.

He placed his hands to either side of her face and brought his lips close to hers.
“Always” he whispered closing the gap.

Every time they kissed, it felt like coming home. It felt like everything they had been missing. The unsupportive families, the pressure to do everything on your own, the broken hearts and lonely nights, they didn’t matter. What mattered was this. Was us. Betty thought contentedly.

He couldn’t imagine being without her, even in the stillness of the woods, she had a spark that was undeniable. He had been missing that spark for the longest time, resigned to live in his black and white world alone. Not anymore, not when he had found his home, and she was pushed up against the old weeping willow, her hands buried in his hair.

The kissing turned more and more passionate, the cold chill of the late fall air pushing them even closer into each other, Betty’s hips pressed firmly into his, while his hands explored the bare skin under her sweater.


The pair pulled apart so quickly Jughead almost lost his grip on Betty and she flew backwards before his hands caught her waist.

Veronica and Kevin were standing in front of them now, hands on their hips.

“Well what do we have here?” The cocky smirk never leaving Veronica’s lips as Kevin practically bounced with excitement.

“This is a totally new development, our very own tortured writer and the one and only girl next door. I love it. I need it. I have to have it.” Kevin rambled, squeezing Veronica’s arm.

Jughead was bright red, his hands still on Betty’s waist as she tried unsuccessfully to hide behind him.

“Listen guys, it’s not…”

Veronica cut her off

“Save it B, if Holden Caudfield over there can make you this happy, even in this horrible situation, I am all for it. You have officially gained the Veronica lodge seal of approval. Don’t make me regret this Jughead.” Veronica raised a dangerous brow, before winking at Betty and turning on her her heel.

Kevin went to follow Veronica, before turning back, running to Betty and wrapping her up in his arms.
“You have so much to tell me, I’m sleeping over tonight. I’ve been an awful best friend and I’m sorry for neglecting you.”

She kissed his cheek and nodded as he sprinted off.

Jughead wrapped his arms behind her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder and she leaned back

“Are you okay with this?” He whispered in her ear.

She turned around at that and raised a brow, resting her arms around his neck.

“Okay with what?”

He dropped his eyes
“With everyone knowing we’re together, knowing you’re with me.”

She gripped his chin gently

“Jughead jones, there is no one else in this world I would want to be with. Let everyone know! It just means I get to do this in public.”

She pressed a slow long kiss to his lips.

Pulling away with the goofiest face she had ever seen him wear, he grabbed her hand and helped her over a fallen branch

“Well come on then girlfriend, let’s go find your sister.”

Why Harry is not a bad father in cursed child

So on the Harry Potter amino i had a quite “nasty” discussion (when you can actually call it that as for a discussion both persons actually have to use arguments, not just one person) with a very thin skinned person (when you spread around cc hate, be prepared that some cc fans may actually argue against you, especially when you don’t use any real arguments whatsover) about Harry in cursed child and cursed child in general. He/she made a blog about his/her arguments after i “rudely forced him” to actually give me some things to back up his /her opinion, but well it is actually amazing how you can make a full blog without giving any actual arguments and just keep repeating “Harry just wouldn’t do that” (you may remember my blog about his/her dealthy hallows argument) all the time without using any quotes or explanations.So i made a blog in respond. Well he/she told me that he/she doesn’t care about my opinion, but i wrote and published this anyway!(When i made effort to write it, why not post it on Tumblr as well?)So here we go! As i structured this based on his/her blog, this is the structure i came up with:

1)      Why cursed child is canon

2)      Why Harry isn’t out of character in cursed child

3)      Why Harry is not a bad father

This will be quite long, so be prepared xD

1)      Why cursed child is canon

I heard a lot of people saying that cc isn’t canon, because Rowling didn’t completely write it. It is true that she got help by John Tiffany and Jack Thorne and that she didn’t completely write it on her own. The reasons are clear: She is not a playwriter, she hasn’t done this before and she didn’t think she could pull off a play script on her own.And i agree, writing novels and movie scripts is very different from writing a play script as this medium works different in some ways.

But this doesn’t mean cc isn’t canon. The inventing process was a close cooperation between these three and Rowling had the last say about her characters.

QUOTE: „The collaborators she approved were Thorne and Tiffany. They emphasized that Rowling made sure they stayed true to HER VISION of the characters“

„It took about six months to really map the whole thing out. (…) Jo would say `This feels right, this doesn’t´   - Jack Thorne

„And we didn’t start writing the play as such-or Jack didn’t-until we agreed on what that story was. Jack produced an AMAZING script“    -  J.K. Rowling

Do you really think she would agree on a play to be published, if she would disagree with the things that are in it?

Our queen herself stated that cc is 100% canon and when someone can define canon, then it’s her. She wouldn’t have published cc, if she wouldn’t see the story to continue like this and i trust her to know best how HER characters, she invented, would behave.

So yes cursed child is canon, if you like it or not. Of course you are free to dislike the new developement as much as you want, but just because it destroyed your personal headcanons, it’s not less canon. Creators don’t owe us anything, especially not our headcanons, and this is how she sees HER characters. We as a fandom can’t claim to know her characters better than she does and we shouldn’t, which leads me to my next point.


2)      Why Harry wasn’t out of character in cc

First of all (a point i actually agree on) cursed child is not a novel. It’s not written in Harry’s perspective and we have an objective look at Harry’s character. And no it’s not Albus‘ perspective, a play unlike a novel isn’t written out of anyone’s perpective.We are no longer influenced by Harry’s subjective opinion, but see everything a little bit more objective, especially Harry’s character. I think due to the perspective used in the novels it’s harder for some people to see Harry’s flaws in the original series.

In cc Harry of course grew up and got older, but he still has a lot of his original character traits.

I think a big problem for a big part of the fandom is that they forgot book Harry, because they watched the movies too often. The movies showed a very different and more bland, perfect and boring version of him.

Here are some things movie Harry didn’t do or did different:

-books Harry had quite a temper and anger issues at times. In book 5 he totally destroyed Dumbledore’s office in a big anger burst and he loses control over himself, when he is under emotional stress (sounds familiar, right?)


-book Harry sucessfully uses crucio (yes an unforgivable torture curse) on a death eater and doesn’t even regret it


-book Harry didn’t hide Snape’s book in halfblood prince, because he thought it was dangerous or wrong to use it, he hid it so Snape wouldn’t find it and he could continue using it


-book Harry said pretty mean stuff to Lupin in Dealthy Hallows. When he is under a lot of emotional pressure, he tends to say things to loved ones, he regrets afterwards (sounds VERY familiar, does it?)

There is more, but i stop now. (and no this has nothing to do with the epilouge from dealthy hallows as this scene is in the books, the movies and cursed child). I love complex and flawed book Harry and they did a very poor job adapting his personality to the screen.

Harry is not a „perfect“ human in cc and he never was in the original series. No well written and realistic and relatable character is „perfect“. The headcanons some people create for Harry are simply unrealistic and don’t fit his flawed personality at all. I am happy Rowling decided to stay with her vision of the characters and didn’t give in to the unrealistic, glorified Harry headcanons.

This doesn’t mean Harry lost his amazing and great characteristics in cc!

He is still the adventurous and brave and caring Harry we know from the books. Although he is indeed an office/ministry worker now, he actually isn’t in his office a lot. Harry still hates paper work and he still loves to explore the danger personally instead of reading about it.

„HERMIONE: (…) – thought i’d check whether you’d kept your promise and were on top of your paperwork.

HARRY: Ah. Turns out i’m not.


HARRY: Great, let’s get out there. I’ll get the team together.

HERMIONE: Harry, i get it. Paperwork’s boring…“

He is still the brave, charming and adventurous Harry we know so well and love from the books and he wants to be right in the action. He is also still very caring about his loved ones, but i will get to that at my next point.


3)      Why Harry isn’t a bad father

As i said Harry is not a perfect human being and he is not a perfect father, which doesn’t mean that he is a bad one!

In the play it gets clear that Harry is still very traumatised by the war, the dead people, his parent’s death and his abusive childhood. It is very hard for him to connect to people and to open up to another person.

You always have to look at both parts of a relationship to understand the motives why characters are acting like they do.

a)      Blanket scene

In this scene we have the infamous „I wish you weren’t my son “ line, which so many people take out of context and totally ignore the circumstances of.

The blanket scene is VERY important as it shows the basic misunderstanding between Harry and Albus, which leads to their difficult relationship.

In this scene we have proof of how much Harry cares for Albus. He knows that they distant themselve from each other and Harry wants to change that, because he loves Albus. So he decides to give Albus his most precious possession, the only thing he has left from his mother. It is clear how much this blanket means to Harry and that he wants to give it to Albus shows how caring Harry in cc is.

But when Albus rejects the blanket and distants himself more from him, of course Harry feels horribly hurt. This blanket means everything to him and that Albus rejects his kind gesture, really breaks his heart.

Parents are humans too and they are not immune to feelings and pain of rejection, especially not Harry who always had a bad temper. As in the original series Harry is portrayed very human and realistic in cc.

People who just look at this line out of context, mostly forget Albus‘ line immediately before Harry’s:

ALBUS: No! I just wish you weren’t my dad.

Here is where the essence of the play lies, the reason their relationship is so difficult.

Here lies the big misunderstanding between Harry and Albus. Everyone expects Harry to be perfect. Everyone just sees him as the „hero“ without any flaws, noone sees the human Harry, the frightened and flawed and realistic human being and person.

So Albus suffers under the unrealistically high expectations people set for him and he gets bullied at school. So of course he understandably projects his anger and pain on to Harry. He blames Harry for his suffering, but he actually doesn’t mean Harry as a person, but Harry’s fame and the high expectations that come with it. So with „i wish you weren’t my dad“ deep down he didn’t mean that Harry personally shouldn’t be his father, but that the famous Harry Potter shouldn’t be his father.

Harry of course is heartbroken, because he feels rejected by Albus and the line escapes his mouth. It is VERY clear, that he immediately regrets it and he tries the whole play to make up for it.

And  their relationship wasn’t always like that. At the beginning of the play their relationship is portrayed as very close and friendly. Albus is open about his fears and Harry is as open to him. Their relationship just went in the wrong direction after Albus gets bullied at school. Harry didn’t do anything wrong or different, it was Albus who (understandably) changed because of his father’s fame. We don’t see any problems between Harry and his other children, it’s just between Albus and him. The problem of their relationship isn’t based on what Harry did wrong as a parent, it’s based on what happened in his past and how his fame affects the way people treat Albus. They are both complex and interesting characters, who i can both understand very well. I can see why both of them feel how they feel and i feel bad for both of them. That’s why their relationship is so interesting and amazingly written, because you can understand both parts of this difficult relationship and you are rooting for them to overcome their problems.


b)      Seperating Albus and Scorpius

You can say what you want, but you can’t say that Harry doesn’t love his son and that he doesn’t care for him. Every mistake he makes is based on his desperate need to protect Albus.

When Harry hears about the „black cloud“, he feels such a big need to protect his son that he loses his sense of reality. He never met Scorpius and he doesn’t know him. He just connects the black cloud to Scorpius (isn’t the first time his mistery solving attempts went wrong…Snape and Quirell *cough).

Is it illogical and wrong to do this? Of course! But it is also understandable in Harry’s situation as he is put under a lot of emotional pressure and all he wants is to see his son safe. I’m pretty sure he never really believed in what he was saying. He was so easily convinced by Ginny and Draco and he very easily regrets it and apologizes to Albus for it.


Harry is not a perfect dad in cursed child and like any real parent he makes mistakes, but he is by no means a bad father.

„Love blinds“ is a theme of the play and yes, his love for Albus does blind him. But you can’t argue that he doesn’t love or care for Albus. He would do everything to keep his son safe – he throws himself in front of a killing curse for Albus – and his love and his caring make him a pretty good dad actually. Their relationship started of with difficulties because of Harry’s fame, but he never gave up on Albus and it is beautiful to see them finally finding each other at the end of the play. They finally show their love for one another and Albus can finally see Harry as a human, not as a famous hero. This is why the pidgeon line is so important. Harry admits his flaws and his fears to Albus and shows him that he is human. I love how Harry puts his arm around Albus in the last scene on stage. It’s such a beautiful and hopeful ending to the play.

Thanks @bounding-heart (i always take inspiration for my blogs from your page :))and @mrsellacott (the blogs you posted lately about Harry as a father really helped me writing this!)

anonymous asked:

I've just been rereading some of your wonderful longfic and you write such good action i'm so envious, especially Don't Wait Up for Me. Someone said it was cinematic and I think thats a good description. Whenever I try to write action I just can't or it doesn't seem very good, and I wonder if you have any advice as a writer and editor about how to write action scenes, or just any writing advice in general.

First, I have to apologize for taking so long to respond; it’s been hard to get back in the swing of things after surgery. Second, thank you so much for the lovely compliment, and I’m so glad you liked Don’t Wait Up for Me, because that’s one of my favorite things I’ve ever done.

To your question: I sometimes feel like I could write a book, just based on the sheer volume of crap I read for my job and the way all these things pile up for me, but there are hundreds of writing advice books out there, and some of them are even actually good so no one needs another one. :-D But I think there are some specifics to writing action, and in particular action within fanfiction, that are fairly unique and not always addressed in tutorials.

When I’m copyediting fiction especially, I often find my attention wanders or my eyes glaze over because of flabby or weak writing, and that’s just death for a scene where people are supposed to be doing stuff and hooking the reader. The same mistakes kind of pile up and up, and this is pro published stuff. Fan readers are pretty forgiving mostly, but a lot of these issues have an unconscious effect on us, we forget fics that could be memorable because we skimmed over stuff that should engage us.

Years ago at Slate, I copyedited a book review that made me laugh, because it was a lot of these problems in a nutshell:

His writing is riddled with clichés that are daily struck down by conscientious high-school teachers. The characters always think “for a moment,” as if a sustained thought is impossible in the Wagnerian world. “Silence” plagues the pages, and it often “follows” speech. The thunder claps “Whrromp!” Every glance is recorded, for no discernable reason—everyone is “looking” or “focusing” all the time. The faces repeatedly “light up.” People don’t smile—they “start to smile"—and they do things “a little,” even if much happens “all of a sudden.” Here is a typical passage: “Liz started to smile, then started to say something, then thought better of it. Her smile faded for a moment, while she seemed to concentrate on a thought.”

That’s the kind of writing that can just utterly kill action scenes. So what would I tell you to avoid that kind of stuff? :

Originally posted by gypsyastronaut

Keep reading

The Painter - Part One

Summary: You know the feeling when you see a person every day, yet when they disappear you can’t even remember their face? Dan gets invited to meet a person he forgot in middle school.

Warnings: alcohol mentions

Genre: Mystery, College AU

A/N: This story is so fucking weird. I don’t know what the fuck inspired this or what the fuck I’m trying to say, but I love it. So here it is. It’s a lil mystery story. There will only be two parts to this. Please enjoy.

Read Part Two >>

Dan remembered seeing him in class.

It was one of those funny things where you see a person every day, yet the minute they disappear, you feel like you notice but you really don’t. It’s like a painting was missing a background element or a song replaced a word–noticeable, but only if you really looked for it.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

You have such a wonderful deep grasp of characters so I was hoping u'd help. I'm having a hard time connecting with Chloe. It is not because I don't like her I do, she reminds me a bit of Emma Swan or Kate Beckett two of my favs. With Lucifer we get inside his head, delve into his issues and idiosyncrasies where Chloe is mostly the job I really need them to give me more of and for her so I can connect. How do u see her? Do u hope we get more? Would u analyze her for me so maybe I can see more?


My thing with Chloe is that I also want to see more of her backstory/her outside the job at times, such as the hinted-at rebellion during her Hot Tub High School days (why did she leave acting? Just because of her dad dying? Was there more of it? TELL ME!) and so forth. But I also feel like the show has acknowledged that at this point, her job (and Trixie) basically are her life, and she’s been prodded to open up and to make some friends (including Maze, who she probably never thought would be one…) and to work out some of her issues. I think that will also change as she and Lucifer continue to become more than just work partners. And what I, and everyone, really need is for her to be fully clued in on the supernatural stuff, so the two of them can face that together like the badass power couple they are, rather than Lucifer just winging it (literally) and making dumb, if well-intentioned, decisions without ever talking to her about them. But that is just showing how much story there is to tell and how much character development there is to undergo. But with these hints about their relationship being a major focus of s3 and continuing to be explored and expanded, I am hopeful for that coming.

Honestly, one of the things I love most about Chloe is exactly her sometimes dry manner and her emotional restraint and her ability to both be incredibly patient with Lucifer and call him out on his BS. I love that she has the Devil wrapped around her little finger, and that since he is the constant five-year-old in the relationship, and the colorful/eccentric character, he needs someone who can handle that about him. Chloe is exactly what he needs precisely because she’s one of the few people who does NOT melt around him, makes him work for what he gets, and yet has enough affection and patience with him to genuinely give him what he has gotten from very few, if no, people before her. We’ve seen her be dorky and giggly and (very poorly) flirty when she was trying to make a move on him, we’ve seen her give him far more leash than he sometimes deserves, and moments of vulnerability, such as in 2x05 when she admits she’s scared to die and talks the guy down from shooting her by herself. In some ways she is the basic model of the “tough female straight shooter paired with quirky male free spirit,” yes, but she’s not a Strong Female Character who’s never allowed to have emotions. She’s just more subtle with them (…. sometimes. Aka, if you are a woman and you are near Chloe Decker’s man, she will give you absolute, unsubtle stink eye until you step off).

Obviously, Lucifer is the protagonist and a lot of the plot is centered around him and things that Chloe doesn’t (yet) know about, so there is a limit to what she can be involved in outside the procedural element. I think that will change when she finally learns the truth, and can hopefully help continue to deepen their relationship and what she can do with him. But yeah, I like that she is able to handle Lucifer in a way most people can’t (and that they are made for each other, even if he currently sees it as a trick from Dad, welp) and that she can be both loving and tough with him. It’s easy to forget the sheer amount of stuff he does not know, and the way Chloe can show him what a healthy parent/child relationship looks like, how a healthy person acts, what a normal relationship looks like, and so forth.

One thing I super love, though, is that Chloe is NOT charged with fixing Lucifer. She is not expected to be his doctor or his nurse or to hold his hand. She wants him to talk to her more, because she cares about him, but the person whose job it is to fix Lucifer, or at least provide him what clarity she can, is Lucifer’s paid mental health professional who is likewise far too good for this shit. I love that Chloe and Dr. Linda are separate characters, and that Chloe has zero obligation at all to alter Lucifer’s behavior or to be responsible for his actions. She doesn’t actively teach him to be human; he learns it from watching her. And slowly gets better by being around her, and has always loved her selflessly and clumsily and incredibly, from day one.

So yes. I love that Chloe is Chloe, that she is kind but tough, that she is patient but can crack the whip, that she doesn’t put up with Lucifer’s often copious BS and makes him genuinely earn what he gets from her, but is never cruel to him, and is often far more forgiving than many of us would be. As he says, she is truly good, and since everyone knows what a sucker I am for heroine/antihero ships, I really enjoy that about her. We can tell that she loves him a lot, but has just come off a divorce and when she really tried to start something with Lucifer, he (with the best of intentions, but still) fucked it up and ran away, because there’s still a lot of their journey left, and development to be had. It’s no surprise that they left off in a tentative place as a result, and that their relationship does have to come to the forefront. And yes. I want season 3. And beyond. Because I am greedy. And want them all.

a-moment-of-such-peace  asked:

I'm tired, kinda sick, hungry, and forced to be at school. Could you write me some cute headcanons? I don't care what they're about.

((girl… you can have as many headcanons as you desire. now let me introduce you to alabama native!peter simmonds and new yorker!jason mcconnell 🙌🏼))

• peter actually enjoys college football and is most likely an alabama fan

• his family lives in a small but very rich town where there’s nothing but big, fancy homes, each sitting on 50+ acres of land

• you wanna talk about living in bumfuck eqypt? come to alabama, where it takes you 30 minutes to get to the nearest gas station and another 20 on top of that to get to walmart

• he has a horse named hamlet :) hamlet tries to bite jason the first time they meet (he’s a jealous horse)

• peter says “y'all” and “bless your/his/her/their heart(s)” all the fucking time and everyone thinks it’s a compliment at first, but jason knows the truth

• matt thinks peter’s accent sounds funny when they’re like 11 or 12 and he makes fun of him for it, but peter just claps back and asks him why his hairline is already receding


• jason is just… so enamored with this little southern firecracker and can’t get enough of him

• all of peter’s old friends from back home know about him being gay and beg him to bring jason to alabama so they can finally meet him and threaten jason’s life if he hurts their best friend
- “did they threaten you in any way, honey?”
- *laughs nervously* “nope! they were nice!”

• peter drives a truck (cue jason drooling everywhere) and definitely has some mean ass road rage because everyone drives like they’re in the fucking fast and the furious down here, especially on backroads

• driving down backroads and there’s so. much. green. and so. many. ANIMALS. especially cows. jason’s in heaven.

• going to bonfires with peter’s childhood friends
- jason just thought he could handle his alcohol
- he is a lightweight compared to these people
- peter tried to warn him…

• jason swears he’s dying of a heatstroke every second he’s outside
- “sweetheart, it’s only 85°”

• getting caught up on all the small town gossip because honey, there is A LOT of gossip
- jason can’t keep up with aunt betty sue’s ex-husband’s affair with his brother’s wife

• peter defies the stereotype of southerners speaking slow and low and jason didn’t think he could talk any faster. boy howdy, was he proven wrong.

• THICKENED ACCENT WHEN PETER IS HOME (cue more drooling jason because that accent does some things to his soul)

going to the lake or the river for the day
- peter driving a boat (jason: 🤤)
- peter skiing and wakeboarding

• local diners with the best food jason has ever tasted
- “why am i just now eating cornbread?! this shit’s amazing!”

• fourth of july date 😍

• going on horseback riding trails once jason finally gets the hang of sitting on the saddle without falling off


• dealing with that one homophobic kid that peter hated growing up

• jason beating that guy’s ass for being a dick to peter at a party (ง •̀_•́)ง

• sneaking into bars to go listen to bands

• peter singing at a bar one night like he used to do every summer


• going to atlanta baseball games together

going down to gulf shores together to peter’s family’s beach house

• no cell service = high strung jason

• outside concerts galore

• these two idiots actually getting to love each other and not be harshly judged like people assume (because, contrary to popular belief, southerners are not as publicly nasty about homophobia as people believe)

• peter: “we need to have sex in the truck bed”
- “why?”
- “because… aesthetic, baby”
- turns out it’s kind of uncomfortable but they laugh about it

• peter is damn good at cooking (obvs) and jason finally gets to see peter really cook with an unlimited amount of food unlike back at school

• peter teaching jason how to cook 😌 it turns out to be a disaster, but at least he tried

((ok…. now let’s talk about new yorker!jason for a minute…))

• hockey fanatic and more than likely a rangers fan

• probs a new york mets fan when it comes to baseball

• prefers walking everywhere because the subway and taxis are gross af

• most likely lives in a nice loft in tribeca or somewhere of that nature

• he takes peter to his first broadway show, a baseball game, AND a hockey game when he comes to visit during spring break

• shopping spree in soho 😏 jason does not even give a shit about how much peter spends and just lets him loose in every store possible
- try to prove that he does this out of spite against his parents by maxing out all of their credit cards

• “so living here is why you walk so fast… WILL YOU SLOW DOWN?!”

• peter will never be satisfied with domino’s pizza ever again

• jason is a walking encyclopedia of new york city

• peter really really REALLY likes jason’s yankee accent when he sees him in his element 😛

• jason likes being super high up on skyscrapers and it scares the ever living shit out of peter

• so. many. PEOPLE. what the FUCK.

• peter freaking the fuck out at seeing every single one of his favorite celebrities just… walking by him…. jason is used to it at this point.

- “that’s it. i’m never going back to alabama.”

• peter is not used to all of the sirens, car horns, and yelling people when he sleeps, but jason is knocked the fuck out and sleeping like a baby

• jason always gives money to street performers when he can because he’s a nice person and peter is all 😍 because of it

• jason makes fun of peter for hating the cold
- “peter, it’s only 40° out”

((this post could go on forever, but here’s some of he best ones 😌 hope you have a better day, my dear! 💕))

Heather's Lyric Meme
  • "I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think there's good in everyone."
  • "This ain't no high school. This is the Thunderdome."
  • "College will be the paradise if I'm not dead by June."
  • "I know life can be beautiful."
  • "What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending."
  • "He is the smartest guy on the football team, which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf."
  • "She is a mythic bitch."
  • "Never bothered, never harassed. I would give anything to be like that."
  • "For a greasy little nobody, you do have a good bone structure."
  • "Let's make her beautiful."
  • "Ask me how it feels looking like hell on wheels."
  • "Time for you to prove you're not a lose anymore."
  • "That freaks not your friend."
  • "If she had your shot, she would leave you to rot."
  • "You just gotta prove you're not a pussy anymore."
  • "You can join the team or you can bitch and moan."
  • "You can live the dream or you can die alone."
  • "Time for you to prove you're not a lame ass anymore."
  • "Why when you see boys fight does it look so horrible yet feel so right?"
  • "Could you fight for me?"
  • "Could you be seen with me and still act proud?"
  • "I would fight for you if you would fight for me."
  • "You can set my broken bones."
  • "You've lasted longer than I thought you would."
  • "No point in planting your roots cause you're gone in a hurry."
  • "I don't learn the names, can't bother with faces."
  • "Freeze your brain."
  • "Happiness comes when everything numbs."
  • "I learned to cook pasta. I learned to pay rent. Learned the world doesn't owe you a cent."
  • "Fight pain with more pain."
  • "When the voice in your head says your better off dead, don't open a vein."
  • "Ain't nobody home tonight."
  • "The folks are gone, it's time for big fun."
  • "So, wait, it's lime then salt then shot?"
  • "Woah. A hot guy smiled at me without a trace of mockery."
  • "Dreams are coming true when people laugh but not at you."
  • "Showing up here took some guts. Time to rip them out."
  • "People wouldn't hate you so much if you acted normal."
  • "There's no alcohol in here! Are you trying to poison me?"
  • "The demon queen of high school has decreed it."
  • "I'm a dead girl walking!"
  • "I decided I must ride you til I break you."
  • "You're my last meal on death row."
  • "Slap me! Pull my hair! Touch me there and there and there!"
  • "Believe it or not, I knew about fear."
  • "No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings."
  • "No one sees the me inside of me."
  • "They've left me a myriad of scars."
  • "No one thinks a pretty girl has substance. That's the curse of popularity."
  • "This is the loveliest suicide note I've ever read."
  • "Don't talk mean like that."
  • "You make my balls so blue."
  • "You are the only thing that's right about this broken world."
  • "Our love is God."
  • "The new world needed room for me and you."
  • "I worship you. I'd trade my life for yours."
  • "Let's go hunt some jocks."
  • "They'll die because we say they must."
  • "It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this world a place our boys could not live in."
  • "I want the world to know I love my dead, gay son."
  • "We're damaged, really damaged, but that does not make us wise."
  • "We don't choose who lives or dies."
  • "Don't you want a life with me?"
  • "That's all I want to do if you could let me in."
  • "I could be good with you."
  • "Can't we be seventeen? Is that so hard to do?"
  • "Your loves too good to lose."
  • "I'll stay if I'm what you choose."
  • "You're the one I choose."
  • "Deep inside of everyone there's a hot ball of shame."
  • "If we show the ugly parts that we hide away, they turn out to be beautiful by the light of day."
  • "Everyday a battlefield when prides on the line."
  • "Who wants to share what's in their heart?"
  • "You're gonna die alone."
  • "I believe any dream worth having is a dream that should not have to end."
  • "Yo girl, keep it together. I knew you would come far."
  • "Your problems seem like life and death."
  • "You chucked me out like I was trash. For that you should be dead."
  • "They made you blind, messed up your mind. But I can set you free."
  • "I found you changed my heart and set loose all that truthful shit inside."
  • "I was meant to be yours!"
  • "We were meant to be one!"
  • "I am all you need!"
  • "You carved open my heart, can't just leave me to bleed!"
  • "Please don't leave me alone! You were all I could trust!"
  • "I let his anger fester and infect me."
  • "No one here deserves to die except for me and the monster I created."
  • "I wish we met before they convinced you life is war."
  • "I am damaged, far too damaged."
  • "Stick around, make things better."
  • "We are done with acting evil. We will lay our weapons down."
  • "Maybe then we'll never die."
Nalu Fluff Week 2017: Within the Law, Chapter 1

fanfiction by impracticaldemon
Words: ~2500 | Also available on FFnet and AO3

Author’s Note:

Once again, I’m too behind on writing to be able to complete all the prompts for this ship week, but I did want to contribute at least a little!

The main prompt for this story is “Rain” (Day 2). I am also throwing in “Vacation” converted to “Work” (Day 3), and a smidgen of “Fashion (Day 4). I haven’t yet decided what else I may do for this ship week but you can probably look for a couple more pieces. Please remember: “a fanfiction author is never late, nor is she early, she publishes precisely when she means to.” Thank you, Gandalf (and Tolkien, I suppose).

I hope that you enjoy the following shenanigans!

Chapter 1 ~ Sunshine in the Rain

Law school was tough—it turned out that Professor Porlyusica’s class on Trusts was just as bad as they’d told her—but this was infinitely worse. Here she was in downtown Magnolia, wearing her best—and currently only—suit, a tailored white blouse, sheer nylons and conservative dark heels. And she was lost. Not very lost, just momentarily stymied. Any one of the three mega-towers in with entrances onto the plaza looked like it could house the prestigious Makarov & Vermilion law firm that had granted her this precious and not-to-be-missed interview for a summer student’s position.

Unfortunately, a small contretemps at a subway turnstile involving a little white dog, an oddly bluish-grey cat with a green bandanna for a collar, and a guy rocking a great suit and neon pink hair, had caused Lucy to drop the paper with the firm’s street address. The guy had been apologetic, sort of—he’d viewed the whole thing as more funny than serious. Then he’d told the animals to meet him at the ‘usual place’ and off they’d trotted without further fuss. It had been a little weird. The man looked like he worked at some high-powered job—Lucy had assumed that the animals weren’t his.

“Don’t worry,” pink-hair-great-suit had told her, “you didn’t hurt Happy or Plue.”

That hadn’t been Lucy biggest concern, but she’d murmured something appropriate and gotten a wide grin in return. She’d even returned the guy’s wave as he rushed off—though whether to his job or to rendez-vous with his pets was unclear. He wasn’t to be seen getting on the subway, in any event.

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twelveclara  asked:

hi! i have become a huge fan of you in the past like day or so (i'm sure your activity page at this point looks like i'm stalking you) as all of your commentary is perfectly on point - i love moffat and i think he's done so much good for this show that it just drives me insane to see baseless commentary otherwise (especially when it's clear it's coming from people who don't even watch anymore). anyway you're doing the lord's work here and i thoroughly enjoy and appreciate it :)

Hi there!

Thank you so much! For the record, your blog is incredibly amazing also; I’m sure in the not-to-distant future your activity page will look just as obsessive as mine!

I love Steven Moffat so, so much too. The hilarious thing is that this wasn’t always the case. C.2013, I was definitively part of the Moffat Hate crowd! I was the first in line to reblog every “The Day of the Doctor hates New Who canon!”, and “Clara’s life revolves around The Doctor!”, and “River Song is a terrible, regressive female character!” post I could find. (Luckily my old old blog has long since been deleted!)

I think the thing to understand about Moffat Hate, (and i use that term accordingly. Legitimate critique of Moffat’s work is something I have no problem with, and something I partake in myself), is that it’s effectively a phenomenon. And one that can only ever have occured to a show like Doctor Who:

For people like myself, who sat down with their family as an eight year old kid to watch Rose as it first aired in 2005, Moffat’s takeover of the show coincided with adolescence, and therefore with our own blossoming social awareness and critical skills. By this point, Doctor Who had well and truly carved its place as a staple of British pop culture, and therefore as a staple of childhood influence. (I mean, I don’t know about in the US, but in the UK, you’d be hard pressed to find a primary school pupil across the country who wasn’t avidly discussing the cliffhanger at the end of The Stolen Earth the Monday after the episode aired! I can’t emphasise enough how utterly huge Doctor Who was as a child. It was literally all anyone talked about!) 

The RTD era of show therefore has a real place in the hearts of many, and so, as is the way with nostalgia, we link it directly to our childhoods and romanticise it. Add to that a burgeoning social media platform built on synergetic hyperbole and herd mentality, (I mean gosh look at the “your fave is problematic” discourse, and how hard everyone here collectively turned from Superwholock Stans to agressively hating all three shows in the space of a few months), an unfortunately normal dose of self-critical cringe culture, (what we engage with and enjoy as tweens is automatically horribly uncool and terrible the older we get), and Moffat’s era never really stood a chance!

It was only upon doing a complete rewatch of the show after Matt Smith’s final episode, that I finally allowed myself to view these episodes out of personal context. With retrospect. And with Russell’s era, I discovered a goofy, passionate, indulgent melodrama that’s as clumsy and nonsensical as it is engaging and moving, while with Moffat’s era, I discovered a thematically rich, witty, macabre modern fairytale that’s as sumptuous and stylish as it is full of glorious glorious soul. They were both completely different to how I’d remembered them, both a bundle of triumphs with a few falters, and yet both standing on their own feet. It was only upon rewatch that I truly discovered, and appreciated, Moffat’s high-concept, darker, more visceral, and therefore more controversial, version of the show. It had guts! it holds a punch! Without negating the beauty of triumphant storytelling to do so! And it doesn’t half carry conceptual and thematic weight! River’s diary. Amy’s glasses. Clara’s leaf. Bill’s photos. Simple objects and items that Moffat pours entire universes into. There’s something so sweeping, so rich and so compelling about the imagery filled, picture-book way Moffat writes. He’s less a screenwriter, and more a storyteller. That’s the distinction I’d make, and the distinction that, in my mind, puts him head and shoulders above Russell T. (who is a tremendously brilliant writer himself, I might add).

This totally goes without mentioning Moffat’s ever-increasing embrace of social issues. There’s no way to view River’s story as anything other than a celebration of female freedom and female agency. There’s no way to view Clara’s story as anything other than a celebration of female defiance. And there’s no way to view Amy’s story as anything other than a celebration of female courage, of female kindness. Steven Moffat champions his characters, he champions his female characters, and there’s no getting away from that. He makes them suffer, because good drama depends on that, but they have always, always stood triumphant and proud at the end of it all. That’s a track record worth cherishing, I think.

All of this stands amongst an unbowed, unbent, unbroken, pro-female doctor agenda, and a current series which has given us shameless, open, positive, political commentary on the disgraces of historical whitewashing, on racism, on slavery, on capitalism, on colonialism, on indoctrination, on militarisation, on media bias, on fake news, on heteronormativity, on sexism and on the gender binary system. Oh, and the show’s first Black Lesbian Companion to boot. When it comes down to it, Steven Moffat really is pretty great!

Gosh, this turned into something really extensive and a little bit histrionic! But I’m so beyond passionate about this wonderful era of my favourite show, and, like you, I am so beyond frustrated by the constant mischaracterisations and misreadings, (in many instances, categorically and intentionally false ones, delivered by people who haven’t even watched the show since 2013), of the work and words of the man behind it all, that I think I deserve to be a tad extravegant! 

Thanks so much again! xx

anonymous asked:

a hs au where cas is dean's tutor?

No warnings apply, but heed the disclaimer. I pictured Cas’s outfit like the one in linneart’s drawing, which is over here. I tried to cram in a bunch of references to the show’s dialogue. This is really sappy. I have a problem. It’s also 1.6k. 

It’s not that Dean is flunking physics. He’s got a steady D average, which is enough to pass, but his guidance counselor is concerned about his GPA even though Dean assured him he’s not planning on college. They can’t both go, and Sam deserves it. Dean doesn’t want a tutor, especially not some kid his age in a tan sweater with a tie and a freaking button-down, but his mom insisted.

“I don’t want to be here,” Dean gripes during their first session, in the library after school on a Tuesday.

“So leave,” says Castiel. That’s actually his name, Castiel. He regards Dean with a stony expression.

Dean slams open his textbook and decides that Castiel is a dick.

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anonymous asked:

Could Barry have aspergers?

First, and I genuinely don’t mean this as any sort of attack, I just want to note that Aspergers = autism spectrum. Aspergers used to refer to a related spectrum but was often considered “milder” than autism, and modern research and clinicians have realized that they’re ultimately the same (broad) spectrum and the issue was their diagnostic tools classifying people on “severity”. There are issues with separating people into “high functioning” and “low functioning” groups the way the Aspergers/autism distinction does and there’s just… a lot of stuff that goes into this.

That being said, I think what you’re really asking for is more a question of “could Barry be neurodivergent, and specifically could he be somewhere on the the autism spectrum?”

And the answer is: of course! Why not?

For the purposes of headcanons, I always say: go for it, if it works for you.

For the purposes of canon-analysis, it’s a bit harder. Writers will sometimes write neurodivergent characters without even consciously realizing they’re doing it, because as human beings we recognize behavioral patterns and think “well this person is like that” without always knowing how to name or identify where that characterization comes from. This is part of the reason some characters get coded as neurodivergent without it ever being made explicit in the text (there are other, sometimes more insidious reasons as well but we don’t need to chat about them here).

I’m not sure if I’m the world’s best person to write an analysis of Barry as being on the autism spectrum specifically, because although my husband and some good friends of my are on the spectrum, I myself am not. I can take a stab at it for you though since I’ve been learning and reading a lot in the past few years about it (and may one day come back to that question I got like 2 years ago about Len being on the autism spectrum because… yeah, he really is I think). 

Anyway, hopefully what I say will ring true for people, fully realizing that of course all people on the spectrum are going to have slightly different experiences.

Before I do that, however, I also want to say that my personal headcanons for Barry are really that he’s ADHD, which is a related form of neurodivergence, and one that I’m more closely tied to (I’m not diagnosed but I show a ton of the signs and symptoms for it and it seems to run in my family, so I have more personal experience with it). So a lot of this discussion might end up looking more like general indicators of neurodivergence that can fall into autism spectrum and/or ADHD or both, as they do overlap a good deal.


Some canon discussion/evidence?

Well, first, Barry’s single-minded focus. Neurodivergent people can have difficulties with switching attention and can get totally absorbed by things, and Barry’s no different. Once he has a goal or a thought in mind, the rest of the world sort of gets put on mute, it seems. From searching for the Man in Yellow to Saving Iris to whatever the goal of the day is, that becomes ‘it’ for him for a little while.

That helps lead me to ‘special interests’ and hyperfixation. From what I can tell, Barry ran a blog on ‘the impossible’ and raced across the country looking for cryptids and other impossible events whenever he had the opportunity. I would say that this could be classified as a special interest for him. He likely has others or has had more in the past: musicals (maybe even specific ones), specific aspects of the sciences that he’s pursued, the Speed Force, etc.

Also, and I’m sorry if this ends up stereotyping slightly, people on the autism spectrum generally have advanced abilities in mechanical understanding (and score noticeably different as early as the age of 4 on tests of engineering/mechanical types of knowledge) and Barry demonstrates this type of understanding time and again in the show.

Originally posted by theflashdaily

He uses those abilities all the time at crime scenes, and as the Flash as well, like when fighting Zoom and using gravity to his advantage. He pursued a career in the sciences and uses chemistry, physics, and mathematics in his everyday life (and when working on things such as the speed equation). 

A little less “stereotype” and we see Barry’s physical behavior. 

In S1, he was often physical awkward in that he was clumsy and backing into doors, always running, and seemed to have… too much energy? It’s been said elsewhere that speedsters, or at least Bart (from the future), were introduced in part as a metaphor for ADHD (and that at least Bart’s arc was supposed to help educate people about ADHD because comics can be awesome like that). So that spectrum of “too much energy, almost clumsy because of it, always moving and kinetic and touching or doing something or running out the door” has made me think of Barry as having ADHD and thinking of his behavior more from than perspective. But from an autism spectrum perspective, you sometimes see a lot of the same behaviors. Clumsiness is common, from what I’ve read (though of course, not for everyone. My husband is the least clumsy person I know). And being late! Barry is often late, and that can be a sign of ADHD for sure (I’m always late, my husband always wants to be exactly on time… it’s an issue).

Originally posted by superflarrowgifs

In terms of sensory processing, I can’t think of anything too specific. Certain fabrics, textures, foods, or physical sensations can all be important to people on the autism spectrum due to how they process sensory information, but I don’t think canon provides us with much information for how Barry deals with sensation. I also can’t think of any evidence of physical stimming off the top of my head but sometimes that won’t be obvious anyway. Barry keeps chemistry toys in his lab (we’ve seen them in background shots a few times) but nothing else really comes to mind there. He paces a lot? Is standing whenever it’s an option, really? Rubs his hand over his hair/ head whenever he’s tense or anxious? None of that is specific to neurodivergence (over, say, anxiety) but it is still technically self-stimulation behavior.

Originally posted by theflashdaily

In terms of speech patterns, I can’t think of any really canon examples of atypical speech patterns that might imply autism spectrum neurodivergence (in contrast to say, Julian, who is sometimes overly formal or literal to the point of awkward, which can be a sign of autism spectrum for some people). Barry does info dump a little sometimes about things related to speed (a new special interest? It would make sense) or other information, but the show doesn’t often give us conversations that aren’t related to the plot so it’s hard to say. 

(That being said, one of the things that used to be used to “distinguish” autism spectrum from Aspergers was the children with Aspergers didn’t show the same language-related issues in childhood, and now that we understand autism as more of a constellation of behaviors, not all of which will be present in the same person, it’s not overly surprising not to find it here. Also, Barry really doesn’t use almost any adjectives or flowery language, even few adverbs, and he sticks to either simple or exact words for things [in contrast to Wally who’s word-choice is a lot more diverse!] so maybe we do see a bit of evidence through that? His speech is relatively straightforward?)

Originally posted by ccrogues

(precise, specific, informative)

Sociality… well we know that Barry didn’t have many friends as a kid, especially after his mother died. He talks about having been bullied and we know he was a big anime nerd and part of a lot of clubs in high school. That’s not evidence in and of itself of neurodivergence because neurotypical kids get bullied all the time as well, but some of it could be a sign, especially because it’s clear through the clubs etc. that he was trying to put himself out there and maybe it wasn’t working. 

Originally posted by speedstergifs

He clearly gets along just fine with other people who are on the side of scientifically-oriented (i.e., all of the Star Labs team, Felicity, eventually Julian) and other people who are smart and kind (Iris, Oliver) so it’s definitely not that Barry can’t make friends. But kids can be cruel and neurodivergence can be easier to notice in childhood for one reason or another (including because people haven’t ‘learned’ to hide or suppress their own signs as well, and it sucks that people would ever ‘have’ to but that’s what childhood teaches some folks).

In either case, there’s evidence he had issue socializing and pretty much only had Iris as a close friend until he hit adulthood? And it’s also clear that although he’s “liked” at the precinct, he doesn’t really have friends there and he sticks out, at least not until Patty came along.

Last points: again, not to stereotype, but anecdotally at least, there does seem to be some potential overlap between people on the autism spectrum and the asexual spectrum, and a lot of people headcanon or interpret Barry as being demisexual? Which makes a lot of sense to me, and could be part of an interpretation of Barry as being neurodivergent. (Though it really should be clearly noted that people can be on the autism spectrum without being on the asexual spectrum and vice versa, and I don’t want to imply otherwise!)

And… I think that’s most of what I have to say? I’d have gifs for more of this but honestly they aren’t easy to find for this topic ^^;

And I invite people to make additions to this post if they have any more headcanons or canon examples, or clarifying information? 

anonymous asked:

hey as a questioning/nd person i was wondering how other nd people felt about the tv show bones? im watching it right now and I've heard the main character is autistic but I don't really know enough to see whether the portrayal is good rep or not. (also if any wheelchair users wanted to comment on the chair-using character, I'm curious about that too).

So, let me start out by saying that Bones was one of my special interests for awhile so I may be a bit biased in what I have to say. I adore the show and, while it’s no longer an active special interest, it still has a special place in my heart. 

The main character, Temperance Brennan, is indeed autistic. The creator of the show has confirmed that she is based off of a friend diagnosed with Asperger’s (which is about as close to canon representation as we get lol). 

Personally, I think that she is pretty good representation. She is definitely fairly stereotypical (genius, stand-offish, etc.), but the way she is treated in the show is excellent. She is portrayed as a fully fledged human being with her own interests and life. She actually has a love life in the show which is huge for an autistic character. She is treated well by the other characters and her differences are treated as endearing rather than problematic. 

I also, personally, headcanon almost all of the squinterns as autistic. With that taken into account, the show presents a variety of representations of autism that vary from each other. Rather than all of them being carbon copies of each other, they each have their own personality and autistic traits. 

Personally, I relate a lot to Brennan and see myself in her. Seeing her on TV made me really happy because it was someone like me on screen. I may not have a job like hers or the acclaim, but I related to her a lot and really felt for her as a character. 

- Sabrina

I would like to Sabrina’s comments that one of the best things about Bones as a character, is the way that she grows and evolves as a person without loosing that quintessential aspect that makes her autistic. As she grows closer to her friends, her husband, and eventually her children, you see how her expressions of emotions change but most importantly do not become neurotypical - at least, not in the seasons I watched (I never finished watching the last couple of seasons).

She is showing handling some of the hardest things in life, including the deaths of some of the people closest to her, life altering surprises in the lives of those around her, and oh gosh the way she handles when her trust is violated is just on point, including the process by which that trust is regained. She deals with professional jealousy, competitiveness (oh god she’s competitive!), and even learns to cope with her superiority feels.

Her writing, as far as I am concerned, is as good as autistic (women!) representation gets. The show, and even the character is not without its problems, of course, and I have a lot of criticism about it particularly where Bone’s husband is concerned and the very obvious extrajudicial actions that occur in any cop procedural show (though they do handle it “better?” in most cases, with Bones usually emphasizing Science! and strict adherence to the law). I do think, however, that all of the stuff we should be critical about is worth it for seeing the characterization and growth of Bones herself.

- Sam

Well, my two cents is significantly less informative than Sam’s or Sabrina’s, but like, Bones (both the show and the character) was one of the shows that got me through high school. I related to her so so much and just for what the show did for me, I’d say it’s good.

I stopped watching the show a number of years ago so my memory of it is spotty and only covers the seasons pre-kids, but the biggest thing I remember is how HUMAN Bones was and how emotional she was allowed to be. People would call her a cold fish or an ice queen, and the show would show how much being called that hurt her and that she did have emotions, she got angry, she got scared, she got determined, she cared (like her entire reason for solving crimes anyone???).

And she was cared for, by basically the entire main cast. (I don’t remember how many episodes could be summed up by “everyone but X goes to great lengths to save X, possibly breaking laws in the process,” but Bones was both being saved and doing the saving. She was treated like just another character (aside from being the main character)- which is how it should be.

Also, I agree that many of the squinterns read as autistic to me and that they are all varied characters.

- Os

anonymous asked:

I gotta ask if we're talking about schools that don't give a two shits. The middle and elementary school that both Bakugou and Izuku went too. Not only did they let Bakugou physical and mental abuse of Izuku go unchecked and unstopped for 10 years. Bakugou legit told Izuku to kill himself in front of witnesses, attacked him and destroyed school peop petty as well as izuku's personal property. And basically got the whole class to regaurd Izuku as subhuman for his quirklessness

To be honest, I received this ask seconds after I answered a precedent one about how Bakugou bullied Midoriya, and pointed out he wasn’t the only on we had to held responsible. It’s a very good ask Anon, it allows me to develop thoughts on that matter I didn’t dare to add because my answer would have been really long.

To begin with, we need to go back to the very conception of BNHA. I can’t remember where Hori said it, but initially, Midoriya was a character that was bound to be, and stay quirkless. That’s what Hori planned, but his editor told him it was better if Midoriya had a quirk. It ended up with him inheriting One for All. What’s important to remember is that Midoriya was bound to be different from the beginning. In a society where more than 80% people have quirks, being quirkless is like… Being disabled, somehow. It’s a stigma Midoriya couldn’t shake off. From the moment he learned he was quirkless, he thought his destiny and hopes were sealed. His mother cried, and apologized to him. Because being quirkless is seen as a huge deal. It’s pretty incredible, thinking people with weird powers suddenly appeared, and they became ‘normality’ in two or three generations. It shows you that what’s ‘normal’ for people is a vague concept. It fluctuates, and changes depending of how people see it. If we saw being queer as ‘normality’ instead of heteronormativity, if our education and representations conveyed it like it’s done for cis heteronormativity, we wouldn’t have all those stigmas against queer people. It’s about who integrates the norm, and who doesn’t. And when there’s a norm that excludes people that don’t fit, there’ll always be violence. Be it because we force people to fit in, because we don’t understand and mock them, because we finally ostracize them physically and mentally -with demonized and dehumanized representations-, and make them feel like if they don’t fit, they’re no better than trash, aren’t making efforts and don’t deserve to live. It’s an issue much more larger than just personal ones.

That being said, let’s look at Bakugou and Midoriya. Bakugou embodies the very representation of someone who perfectly fits when his quirk appear. At a young age, he’s already smart, bold, and he also has an incredible quirk. On polar opposite, Midoriya doesn’t fit, at all. He’s shy, easy to impressed, doesn’t look like he understand what ‘hierarchy’ means as he doesn’t bow down to Bakugou, and most of all, he’s quirkless. On every aspect, Bakugou and Midoriya represents two extremities of social norms; someone who fits, and someone who doesn’t. And when you fit, you always feel much more legitimate to resort to violence against people who don’t. Why does Bakugou fit? In what does he fit exactly? How do we know, and how does he understand that he fits in? Because people keep praising him. Because institutions are acknowledging him. It began in kindergarten; it continued in middle school. And nobody, not even adults, said a damn thing, because they also fit. Defending Midoriya would have been doubting this system they fit in, and see failures somewhere they never suspected it would be in the first place. It’s a core of integrated opinions and beliefs that, if you’re different from the norm, then it doesn’t matter if you’re bullied, ‘you deserve it for being different’. After the sludge incident, Bakugou was praised while Midoriya was grounded. Who did what though? Who was being held hostage, and who risked his life to help? Some pro-hero even offered Bakugou to join him once he’ll graduate from high school, because he witnessed his incredible power. However, as soon as Bakugou’s personality and mental health issues are exposed at UA sports festival, he doesn’t fit in anymore. And then begins his stigmatization for being an evil child with anger issues by the same society he was praised by some times ago. While Midoriya, once he was given his quirk, immediately fitted in better, because his personality had no problem to begin with. He was a sweet child, and is still a rational, smart and kind boy. His personality didn’t change; only his stigma reversed. It’s quite interesting to notice, isn’t it?

It does give a lot of thinking material. Hori didn’t want for Midoriya to fit in because he finally was like others, but because he could prove himself to be as good without being like others. Don’t get me wrong, I love BNHA the way it is. But the idea still lingers.

anonymous asked:

Hi,I'm I don't really know how to ask this I'm very shy and awkward. But I'm kinda questioning my sexuality and I was wondering if you had any tips on how to help me figure out what I could be? Like if you don't mind sharing were you always lesbian or did you have like boys too then maybe experimented? I don't really know what to do and how to figure this out by myself.

Okay so basically my gay timeline, I’ve had my fair share of male friends but my highest comfort level was always with females. Right from the start, and I didn’t really know being gay was a thing, because I grew up in north Texas, with my southern baptist family, and no one ever talked about it. I knew that no one talked about girls kissing other girls but I thought about it and I thought that I wouldn’t mind kissing another girl (this was maybe from 5-8 years old), and then I moved from Texas to Tennessee (from conservative…. to more conservative…) when I was 9. About the time I started going on the internet, learning more about political issues, and mostly- learning about the existence of homosexual people. The words “q*eer”, “f*ggot”, “d*ke” were tossed around as insults and with them came the stigma that gay people were inherently bad.

By the time I was 10, the summer after 5th grade, I had my first boyfriend. With him, I had my first kiss. I was nervous, I didn’t really want it. And he told me when I hesitated that it “shouldn’t be this hard”. So I let him kiss me, and it felt wrong, but I was the first of my friends to have a boyfriend, and my first kiss. In all honesty I really liked the attention. I liked it so much that when he broke up with me, I was devastated. I mistook that devastation for heartbreak. By the time I started 6th grade, I started watching degrassi (Canadian high school soap-opera), in it, I was exposed to lesbians. Fiona Coyne, the questioning lesbian, quickly became my favourite character. I became HEAVILY invested in her to the point where I developed my first girl crush. It freaked me out. I stopped watching the show, I shoved my feelings in a box, in the closet, and by the end of 6th grade, I had my second boyfriend. We kissed once, also through coercion. I didn’t enjoy it, and the relationship ended because we both decided that we mistook feelings of friendship for romantic feelings.

By the middle of seventh grade my hetero-posing ass had my 3rd (and last) boyfriend. Mind you this was THE PEAK of my eating disorder and anxiety disorder, and the beginning of my depression. I was desperate for attention and for validation, and because of this, I thought I was in love. I wanted his attention constantly, and I was very upset when he wanted to do other things. Which ended the relationship because he couldn’t provide the kind of attention I was looking for.

So you know my history with boyfriends. What about the actual gay part? I’m getting to that. My best friend from the time I moved (at 9) to this point (12) had been my rock. But in 7th grade, after her father died, the nature of our friendship changed. She became more attached and craved someone to hug and cling to, and THIS is the kind of attention I was after. I quickly, without knowing it, developed a crush on her due to the attention and the validation and physical affection.

So when she started talking to one of her crushes, what did I do? Sabotage their relationship by convincing myself I had a crush on him and sending him nudes (that’s illegal kids don’t do that)? You betcha I did. This put a halt on the relationship, for whatever reason lol. After 3 months of no talking (and still not considering my feelings for my friend and why I was so adamant about needing to send a flat chested tit pic to this 5'1 fuck boy in the making) whatsoever, she decided to forgive me. I apologised, and we moved on. She ended up dating the guy and talking to him constantly, which pissed me off for reason that I couldn’t understand.

And then one day it hit me. I wanted her to pay that kind of attention to me. I wanted her to talk to me 24/7. But I didn’t like her at all noooo because in the good old state of Tennessee liking people of the same sex is BAD and people who do it are BAD. So no, not gay. Just wanted attention. But then, in February (2015) she landed herself in the psychiatric hospital after a very bad night. In my fear of losing her I realised I wanted a life with her and I loved her and couldn’t live without her. At this point I’m like, “oh. Oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuck” so again I put those feeling back in the box on the shelf in the closet of gaybie shame (to keep my feelings for Fiona Coyne company). Didn’t talk about. didn’t think about it. Because my friend was straight, right? Right??

WRONG!! Because this friend got drunk one night after her break up with 5'1-fuck-boy (we did bad things okay but that’s not the point) and she said to me “I love you baby” so I’m like???? Yo? What’s up?? Next morning, sober, she wrote it off as “a very maternal need to protect” me. Okay whatever, now I’m onto her. But I don’t say anything. I keep it to myself so I don’t embarrass her or push her to do something she’s not comfortable with. But I’ve got my proof that she’s Down With The Homo, so I’m like okay I can maybe take the Gay Feelings ™ out of the closet. And I process them, and what conclusion. Do I come to? Bisexual. Specifically, heteroflexible. A month later, I tell someone for the very first time. Another month later. (This is actually the same month daddy and I met but she didn’t know about any of this at the time 😚) The friend says to me “I need to tell you something” so I say “okay, I need to tell you something too” and she says “okay” and I say “I’m bisexual” and she says “ME TOO” and I’m rolling my eyes thinking yah old news. We date. We break up, turns out she’s manipulative and emotionally abusive and it’s not a perfect love story and she went back to dating guys and she got pregnant last year and has a new boyfriend every two weeks so that’s how she’s doing in case you’re curious.

I tried dating another girl, didn’t work, I was rebounding, she was immature, she cheated on me. Whatever, didn’t care. Hardly even liked her. And now I’m dating my daddy, third (and hopefully last) girlfriend. And since being with her and feeling how FUCKING GREAT!!! It feels to be with a girl, I wouldn’t go back to guys, of course, I like people not genders so maybe I’d consider it. But I’m primarily attracted to female *cough* anatomy, so it would take a lot of interest for me to pursue a relationship with anyone who isn’t female identifying, (down for all females not just cis ones but I do still have a big preference for female bodies)

Long (loooooong) story short. Always been gay, didn’t always know, do some experimenting, try both (all) sides, get a feel of what you’re into and don’t be afraid (and don’t keep yourself in the damn closet for a decade bc I didn’t make it sound as painful as it was but it really really was painful)