like we got kicked out of a thing so we went to walmart

anonymous asked:

You said in a comment on your book that Cinderella Boy was based on your story. Can you tell me what you mean? Like did that stuff happen to you or did you mean a romantic story?

*cue the music from Princess Bride*

Alright kids, settle in…Let Anti-Kris (what my niece calls me) tell you a story…It’s a story of love, of adventure, of personal discovery…It might be long, but I hope it will be worth it.

I’ve known for much of my life that I was not “normal”. When I was a little girl, I hated when people called me a girl, and little boys on the playground often like to say “You are a girl”, to exclude or to discuss, either way. Any time someone said it to me, I felt a kind of rage. When I was five, I told my my mother I never wanted to wear a dress again, and when she tried to put me in one for picture day, I threw such a tantrum that she had to buy me off with ice cream. She never made me wear a dress again.

I had my first crush in first grade, and it was on a girl named Tara. I thought Tara was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. She had these turquoise eyes and this soft curly hair in a bob. She had freckles. Freckles for fuck’s sake. And she was tiny and sweet and she smiled at me in an amazing way, and held my hand when we went on Girl Scout trips. In our innocence we did not know what it was, just that it felt wonderful and huge and completely incomprehensible. She told me “I wish you were a boy, so I could kiss you.” And all I remember thinking is, “Why does that matter?” I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach, because if she needed me to be a boy, it meant I’d never get to kiss her.

A few weeks later she left the troop and told me her mother didn’t want us to be friends anymore. Several years later, in sixth grade, I was on a volleyball team, and we traveled to a game nearby. I saw Tara with some of her friends and nearly died. I smiled and waved to her. She gave me a dirty look and walked away. I never knew why. I have my ideas. They all feature social conditioning by her mother…

I was picked on a lot as a kid. I read a lot of books, really mature books. I read “Johnathan Livingston Seagull” when I was four. Crack it open some time. See what that shit is about. I read “Interview with the Vampire” at six. Didn’t really like it, because I found the Christian ideology forced and unnecessary to the narrative. Read all the Sherlock Holmes books by 8. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, I felt caged, because whenever I’d try to tell the kids around me that it was fine to be gay, or straight, or whatever I was, any time I made a case for those who were different based on my reading, they would make fun of me for my evidence. Books and knowledge were evil, and I was evil for knowing things they didn’t. For having reached conclusions that did not make sense to them, for identifying as something I couldn’t quite name, I was tormented. If I tried to be masculine, I was beaten up by boys. When I tried to be feminine I was teased to the point of tears by the girls. One of my neighbors, who was popular, came to my house one day with her sister and asked me if I wanted to go on a bike ride. I said yes, because…friends! They helped me cross a plank bridge over a canal. Then they left me there, with my training wheels stuck in the dirt. I had to throw my bike into the canal, wade into it, drag the bike across, and up the soft landslide on the other side. When I came home, I was covered in mud and disgusting muck from the top of my head to the bottom of my bare feet (my shoes stuck in the canal and I couldn’t pull the bike up the other side, So I took them off, thinking any moment, I could die.) and my mother flew into a rage. She walked to the neighbor’s house and confronted the parents. Demanded to know why they had done such a mean and dangerous thing. I never found out the answer. When my mother came back she said she didn’t want to repeat the filth they had said. I intimated it had something to do with me as a person, and so knew that there must be something very wrong with me.

I didn’t talk about myself with anyone after that.

When I was ten, we were involved in a major traffic accident. A drunk woman in a Volkswagen was exiting a parking lot, turning left, while fastening her seat belt. She misjudged her turn, jumped the center divider, and slammed into us head on. My sister wasn’t wearing a seat belt. She flew into the dash. The entire front end of our van was flattened, and the slug bug was like one of those cars you see in semi pileups. As our car rolled past, I looked out the window and saw the entire front of it had been ripped away. The driver was on the opposite side of her car, covered from head to toe in blood. I don’t remember much except screaming “She’s dead! We killed her!” My sister was so badly hurt that my mother had to accompany her in the ambulance. I couldn’t fit. My mother left me in the garden department at Walmart, our car smoking in front of the door. The staff took me inside, sat me at one of the patio furniture displays, gave me some gum. A man came up to me and saw I was shaking. He took off his flannel shirt (this was during the beginning of “Grunge”) and gave it to me to wear. I just remember thinking, “This shirt is soft. I’m very cold. I like this man.” And he sat with me until my mother’s boyfriend could escape work and come pick me up.

That flannel became like a good luck charm for me.

The insurance settlement was for $12,000. It was enough to put a down payment on a house in the city, rather than our farm out in the country. When I found out we were moving from that shitty place, with all its shitty religious white asshole fuckwads, I was so happy, I thought I would die. I told my mother I didn’t want to be “that kid” anymore. I was going to be the kid I wanted to be. I don’t think she knew what I meant, but i told her. I bought baggy jeans, workman’s boots, more flannel shirts. I bought long sleeves and a sports bra and felt amazing. I went to the new school, which had an honors program, unlike my old school, and I told myself I was going to stand my ground and declare myself. I wasn’t sure what I would declare, but god damnit, I was me, and I wasn’t going to be anything but me.

Luckily, what I was, fit nicely into the new group. On the very first day, I made friends. People asked me questions. I told them about my life up to that point, about being picked on, about being mocked, but nothing about how I felt about me. After I finished talking, the two boys I was sitting with said, “You need to meet Ben. You’d like Ben. He’s not here today.”

“Is he sick?”

“No, he skips days to go to college.”

“Yeah, he’s like a genius or something.”

And I thought………. “I have good luck with intelligent people. The smarter they are, the easier they accept me. Maybe I do need to know this kid.”

He appeared two days later. I met him in art class, because it turned out I was at his table. When I met him, it was like the first time I had ever found a boy attractive. Not in the “Ohhhhh damn he’s hawt” way that other people seem to feel, but in the “Wow, he is really smart, and his personality is kicking, and omg he has something behind his eyes that I love.” It was the first time I met someone I felt like I could talk to, not because he was a genius or anything, but because he was smart enough in the right ways.

We dated for a week after knowing each other for a few months, but he dumped me because he “didn’t like my friends” which to me was really weird, because we had all the same friends. But I’ll get back to that.

He vanished a few weeks after dumping me and never came back. One of our friends said he’d gone to college full time. I was really disappointed. Felt like I had been abandoned or missed out on something amazing. But oh well, that’s life.

I was reasonably popular in Junior High, and High school was even better. I had the AP classes and the NJROTC and I was in a bunch of clubs. I had a group of friends and a niche and things to do that allowed me to sort of be in the middle in a way that worked, even if I didn’t tell everyone what I was. But it wasn’t all fun and games.

My mom was married to a conservative minister who is an amazing guy, but at the time was not so down with “alternative lifestyles”, so I was still hostage in my own house. I wasn’t on speaking terms with my biological dad, and had lots of tough feelings with regards to that. And in freshman year, just as I got the lay of the land and found my place…I got sick and lost my eyesight. I’m not going to talk about that here, because I have in a previous post, but it is important to mention, and you’ll see why soon.

When I was 16, I went to a Renaissance fair in my town; it’s kind of a big deal there. I remember wondering if I’d see Ben. I was looking for him, because he was so much a fan of it. I had had a few boyfriends and secret girlfriends since he and I met, but I just didn’t really click with them. I was dating a really amazing boy named Billy, who was really smart, but I still didn’t feel myself with him. Not completely. And we’d been together in a comfortable way for almost two years. Then there was Ben, standing in front of me.

He said, “Hi Kris!”

And I said…”Ben?” Because remember…I’m blind and can’t really see him anymore. Plus he was taller. We talked for a bit. I was kind of stunned I’d actually bumped into him.

Two days later, I got a phone call. It was Ben.

“How did you get my phone number?”

“I never forgot it.”

We talked and talked. I told him about my eyes and how sick I had been. I told him about the problems I was having at home - not about how caged I felt, because I had never told Ben about my sexuality or identity. I still didn’t even have words for that and was deeply ashamed of it. Instead, I framed it all as religious oppression of my personality or my atheism or whatever. I broke up with my boyfriend and we started dating. I’m not gonna lie, it was not great. Ben was a genius, he was dynamic and charismatic, and forceful and arrogant, and a complete jerk when he wanted to be. He wasn’t very grounded, and there was something weird about the way we interacted; I couldn’t quite explain it, but it seemed like he constantly misunderstood me. I’d make an offhand comment about something and suddenly, he’d go silent. I felt like maybe he was seeing my secret. I got defensive. We started bickering, and we broke up.

Then he dated my best friend.

So…I was kind of annoyed. But really, I still thought it had a lot to do with me. I knew I hadn’t been completely honest with him. I hadn’t told him about how I felt inside because I was sure it was bad, or weird. I was pretty sure that if he knew I didn’t feel like I was a girl, he’d mock me or something and I couldn’t handle it. I just couldn’t take that from someone I thought of as kind of a kindred spirit. I knew he wouldn’t love me. How could he? I didn’t love me very much.

I didn’t date anyone else for the rest of high school. I told myself that when I could get out of my house (a not so great environment) I would again become the person I wanted to be and stand my ground, and it would only get better.

I feel like I need to talk a little bit about my home life. I want to make it clear that I get along fine with all my parents now, as they’ve learned and evolved because of the honesty we’ve embraced with each other, but it’s important. My biological dad was a cop and he was also very abusive in a specific way. I was terrified of him. He was the one always saying things about how “Ladies don’t climb trees” but at the same time, he’d always wanted a son, and so I was taught to shoot and climb. It was very contradictory and it scared me. He was also angry all the time and believed in physical punishment. My step dad was a very serious minister. At the time he had some very constrained beliefs about sexuality. Very negative prejudices that he wasn’t shy about vocalizing. He was kind to gay people, but there was definite disgust there and the certainty that gayness was a sin and could be corrected. When I was getting ready to fill out college applications, we were talking about it, and he said “You’re going to go to college and come home with a hole in your face.” He meant a nose piercing, because I’d always wanted one and he forbid it. I said “Oh yeah, dad, I’m gonna dye my hair blue and become a lesbian.” It was ironic, because actually those were my first plans - to dye my hair blue and join the Queer Student Union. He stopped in his tracks and looked me in the face. I will never forget his voice when he said, “If you did that, I’d be very disappointed in you.”

How could I tell him that I’d already had girlfriends? How could I be honest with him or trust him after that?

One night we got a phone call close to 9pm, which was our hard line for phone calls from friends. It was a boy I knew. He wanted to talk to me and said it was an emergency. He was crying. I took the phone into my room. He told me he wanted to kill himself. He didn’t know what he was going to do. His mother was a devout catholic and he knew she would hate him forever. I asked why. I mean why would your own mother hate you? But I could imagine…because well…if my mom knew about me, she’d probably hate me. He changed the subject. Said he wanted to ask me questions. He gave me like, this survey. What would you do if a friend of yours was a, or b or c…or gay? I told him I didn’t care. He told me he was gay.

He wanted to kill himself because he was gay and he thought his mother would hate him. The person who made him. The person who brought him into this world, just as he is. He wanted to die, because she wouldn’t love him.

I was like… I didn’t know what else to do. I had to let him know that he wasn’t alone. I broke my code. I told him some of my secrets, about some of the girls I knew, how I didn’t feel quite right. I told him anything I could think of so that I wouldn’t be hanging up on his life. My mom stuck her head in and told me to get off the phone. I told her it was an emergency. She asked what could possibly be so important. I told her my friend (I didn’t give his name) was telling me he wanted to kill himself because he is gay. I thought it would shut her up. She stared at me.

“Tell him you’re very sorry, but you don’t condone his lifestyle and hang up.”

No. No I will not hang up. No I will not. NO.

No I will not let you tell me that you hate me because of what I am.

There wasn’t anywhere for people like us to go. Our high school gay club had very strict instructions. We weren’t allowed many of the other privileges. We couldn’t have trips. We couldn’t have school resources because we were on the same level as the “Pray around the flag pole” people. And yes…our administration banned gay couples from junior prom. Namely my friend who was a lesbian. Senior prom they were told they weren’t allowed to dance together or take pictures together. It was a tiny kerfuffle, because no one gave a shit. The only kids who cared were people like me, and in those days, it wasn’t the talking point it is now. There wasn’t as much awareness. Queer was still a slur.

There was a boy who was out, a couple years older than me. His name was David. He was a Junior when I was a freshman. He was treated so badly…people calling him names, people spreading all sorts of rumors about him - that he was a gay prostitute, that he was on drugs, that he had AIDS. It was horrifying. I hated it. I hated hiding and feeling unsafe. I really couldn’t take it.

One day, in a home ec class, of all places, I was being sort of sexually harassed by an older kid, someone who was popular and a jock. I told him I was not interested, and I would rather date a woman. He was so surprised that he looked like he was going to vomit. And from there on out I was harassed in a different way - asked all kinds of questions about what I liked about girls, what I would do with them, if I minded being called a “Taco muncher”.

Yeah, I fucking minded, but how could I tell him that? If being a “taco muncher” made me a good anomaly rather than a bad one…if it made me amusing instead of the subject of disgusting slander like the bullshit David endured…I didn’t have a choice. I had to take it.

But I couldn’t take it. One day I nearly knifed this kid. I just exploded at him. I told him that if he made one more fucking comment about my sexuality, I was going to cut off his pecker. I told him I wasn’t a joke. Who I am is not a clown that exists for his amusement. I am not a fucking taco muncher. I like girls, I like guys, I like whatever the fuck I like. I’m not a girl, I’m not a boy. I’m me.

I think I really made an impression. He apologized and never made fun of me or asked me another question.

Anyway, I went to college. I got a hole in my face. I dyed my hair blue. I dated a girl. I joined the Queer Student Union. I did gay things. I went to gay parties. I dressed in black. I listened to loud music. I rebelled in all the best ways, taking care of myself and being responsible, because rebellion wasn’t about doing everything the opposite of the way my parents raised me…it was about being myself for the first time.

Ben and I had another go of it my sophomore year. It was even weirder than the first time, because I felt so awkward trying to be the person I was at college around this kid who’d known my since i was 11. I didn’t know how to talk to him. He told me that whole breaking up with my in Junior High because he “didn’t like my friends” thing was bullshit. He told me that all the times we’d had awkward moments as kids were because he was just trying really hard to figure me out and that he didn’t feel like his upbringing had prepared him to meet me or understand me. He told me he left junior high because of me. That somehow I’d made it clear to him that he needed to stop wasting his time, and just go for it.

That was flattering, but what “it” was, didn’t quite make sense to me.

It didn’t work. I was still too scared. He seemed to like me with an intensity I could not quite deal with because..what if he found out? What if while we were making out I told him I didn’t want to be submissive? What if i told him I like girls? What then?

I went abroad. Living in England, I made a friend named Jaime. She was so fucking cool, like a queer ally of the most laid back sort. On Valentines day, Jaime, my friend Nick, and I were the only ones without dates. We got hella drunk and sat in my dorm room talking about shit. I was so messed up I finally just let fly. I told both of them all the things I’d been wanting to tell someone, that I’d come to think about myself. I talked about all the new things I was hearing people say, like “transgender” “gender fluid”, all that stuff. And then I brought up Ben.

“I never told him. It was the best and most honest relationship I’ve ever had, with the coolest person and like the most potential, and I never fucking told him about this shit. I just let it fail.”

Jaime was sitting on my floor and staring up at me. “Why the fuck?”

“I was too scared! Like what if he hated me? What if he said it was gross?”

“Do you think it’s gross?”

“No. I think it’s me.”

“You said he likes you. So why wouldn’t he like that too?”

“I don’t know Jaime! We grew up in a shitty town and he was a weird kid and I felt like nothing between us made any fucking sense.”

“But you like him?”

“I like……what he promised to be.”

“Don’t you want to know what that ended up being?”

Nick was a quiet kid, a total cis/hetero male, but in the best possible way: kind, friendly, gentle, and just a fun dude to hang with. Never made me or Jaime uncomfortable.

He made a face. “Can I just say…I’ve been listening to all this, and I don’t get anything of what you feel, but that’s fine. You’re you. And I think whatever makes you you is awesome, even if I can’t even imagine ever feeling that way. Like I love girls. I get why other people like girls. They’re fucking fit. So whatever. And if you’re not a girl, or a boy, or whatever…that’s really complicated, and seems like it would be really hard for you, but I’m your friend, and I’d want you to be safe and stuff. What I mean is, if he likes you and you’re his friend, he would feel the same. I mean, maybe he doesn’t love you for it, but that’s fine. If you don’t fit you don’t fit.”

Jamie nodded. “But you can’t judge him till you give him a chance. If you like him enough to try being with him again, then you need to tell him and see what kind of person he is.”

They worked on me for hours. Finally, I made a decision. I wrote a blog post…yeah, blogs existed back then, for about three years, anyway. I wrote out an entire confession of who I am in my gender identity (we didn’t have those words then) and my sexuality. I posted it and I sent a link for it to Ben.

He called me the next day.

I asked him if he read the post and if that was why he was calling. He said yes. He told me to go to the book store, and to buy a book called Imajica, by Clive Barker. He told me to read it and to look for Gentle and Pie’oh’pah. So I did. And I read the book. And I called him back.

Pie’oh’pah is a genderless being, an alien. I can’t really talk about them at all, because it spoils the plot, but Gentle is a main character, a man’s man sort, who ends up becoming completely entwined with Pie’oh’pah. Their romance is the core of the book.

Ben told me that if I was Pie’oh’pah, then he didn’t care. If I wanted to become a man, or stay a female, or whatever, he didn’t care. We wracked up hundreds in phone bills because the free calling stuff didn’t really exist back then. But the main takeaway was this comment:

“If we got married…and you became a man…We could have the marriage license embedded in a ceramic sword…and cut off the heads of the conservative assholes who get in our way.”

Yeah…I like this guy. And it’s a double win, because we happen to be genetically compatible in the creation of children. He’s got the boy bits. I have the girl bits. We made a baby. She’s fucking rad.

But there’s more. When this conversation happened, I was a Junior in college. Ben was already into his doctorate. In genetics. Because he wanted to fix my eyes. And hey…that’s how it had to be done. So he changed his focus. Without telling me. Without me even knowing.

See, he was as scared of me as I was of him. He was just terrified of me, because I was to him, what he was to me - that one person who gets it, and who might see the truth and that is fucking scary - so he ran away. 

It hasn’t all been perfect. We’re both very big people and we both have ambition. We still bicker, but we do it differently. We know each other. All those things we have been through, we know. He doesn’t confine me. He let’s me dress how I want. He thinks I’m sexy when I feel sexy. I think his brain is hot.

What is the point of all of this?

Love is not one thing in one form, like a heart-shaped cookie. It is a super faceted and amazing thing, and it changes depending upon the light that hits it, or how it’s framed. Love is having someone who knows you completely and is totally down with that. They don’t confine you. They want you to be the best you. They want you to succeed however you feel is a healthy success. They’re not competing with you. They’re pushing you to keep moving. Sex is just a thing that happens if you want it to, but it has to make you feel comfortable and strong. Romance is that amazing feeling when you know that person with you wants you to be there, wants to know what you’re thinking, always, and cares about what you care about, because you care about it. There are so many things my husband loves that I don’t really seek out on my own, but I enjoy them through him, and I’m better for it.

Find that.

Sometimes you get lucky, but luck is just a door opening. You have to have the self-awareness, the fortitude, and the ownership to walk through that door. If that door opens…walk through. And if you part ways, part ways. It isn’t a waste of your time. It teaches you who you are. It helps you find something slightly better for you, the next time around. And if you meet someone special, who sticks in your craw and won’t be budged, don’t let that go. Figure it out. Solve the puzzle. The puzzle of you, the puzzle of them. The puzzle of the two of you as a unit.

On the surface, Ben and I look like your typical young cis couple. I’m a girl, he’s a boy. We have a daughter. I mean, I have weird hair as a general rule, but meh…But Ben loves fashion and perfume. He loves shoes and art. He has discerning taste. He listens to the poppiest pop music you have ever heard. He does all the cooking. Me? I have power tools and big boots and I wear a leather jacket. I cuss, I shit-talk. I drink beer and whiskey and he drinks white wine (and yes it makes me fucking angry when my waiter brings me the wine and him the beer). I teach my daughter how to climb trees. He buys her pretty dresses. He reads every word I write and cries like a baby. I edit all his grants and tell him to speak up for himself. He knows what my eyes are doing instinctively and doesn’t need to be asked to read me a menu. I know about the things that enrage him and hold his hand when he’s furious.

You can have that. You can find that. No matter who you are or what form that takes. It will hurt. Everything hurts. If it hurts, it means you care about it, and if you care about it, it’s worth doing. Be strong. Stand your ground. Be you. The person who will love you will love you, not that thing you pretend to be.

That is what Cinderella Boy was meant to be. Me celebrating that. And yes, Carter is Ben, or who Ben would have been if he’d gone to High School. He’s a Kirk. I’m a Picard. Well… I’m like a Picard-Sisco hybrid.

It’s never simple.

Dear Friend,

August 30, 2016

I don’t want to be alone anymore - not after last night.
Today is harder than usual because I finally got to see the boy I’m in love with.
I finally got to see Him.

I’m alone in my room.
The silence is louder than usual.
How do you shut out the silence?
Is that even possible?
I don’t know how, but my overthinking clouded most of the silence when I started thinking about Him.

I want to think about the good times that we’ve been having - especially last night.
I need more good memories to replace the old one’s that I can’t let go.
The one’s that bring tears to my eyes each time I think about them.
He broke my heart once and I don’t want him to do it again.

Things were getting so perfect for me.
I was finally slowly letting go of him.
I was finally almost fully healed.
But then he shows up in my life again and I welcome him with open arms.
Then things get difficult for me once more.
Because one night alone with him is never enough.
I want him and all of him all the time.
I never want to let him go.
Thankfully, I’ve been seeing him more often now because he moved back here to our hometown.
But I can’t help but think he will just leave me the same way he did before - without notice or warning.
I’m just making the most out of the time that I have with him while I can.

At first, I thought he was just visiting for a while, but he failed to mention that he was staying here for a few months.
I was surprised when he told me this.
Hearing this news was a bittersweet moment for me.
Of course I was very happy that we would be able to see each other more often, but I was also cautious and sad that he could potentially get back with his ex-girlfriend.

The same night he told me he was moving back home, he did mention that he talked to her, but they came to an agreement that they wouldn’t talk to each other anymore.
I will admit I was a little relieved to hear this.
Not just for me, but for him too.
I feel like she was holding onto him only for her own security that this new guy she likes wouldn’t work out in the end.
I think that’s just wrong for her to do.
These are just my assumptions though.
Who knows why she was keeping him in her life.
I just hope he does try to move on from her.
I want him to be happy.
I always want to see him smile.
I just hope I can be that person that makes him happy and smile and laugh.

I’m just glad he’s back in my life.
Back when he was with his girlfriend and living here, I’d see him (literally) once every three - six months.
I thought it was going to be like before, but that wasn’t the case when he came over for the first time since moving back.
I can’t stop thinking about it…
I can’t stop thinking about all the fun we had last night.
New good memories to replace the old bad ones.

I was laying down on my bed about to cry.
I felt so overwhelmed with school, work, money and my loneliness.
Everything was just pouring in all at once.
And there was nothing but silence around me.
I was just about to shed a tear when my phone vibrated.
I looked at my phone.
He texted me!

The anxiety kicked in.

Yeah?…” I responded.

“What are you doing?” He asked.
My heart started pounding.

I’m just laying down.”

“Is it cool if I go over?”
My hands started to shake.

“Yeah, sure.”

“On my way.”
My legs started to quiver.

A few minutes passed and there he was at my doorstep.
I missed him so much.
I know I had just seen him about a month before - when I went to visit him, but that month felt like an eternity.

He looked adorable as always.
He was wearing a black shirt with gray skinny jeans and black boots.
He did look a little different with his beard though.
That was the only thing different about him.
I had never seen that much facial hair on him before.
It took me a little while to get used to it.
I’m not a fan of beards.
I gave him a hug and we walked to my room.

He sat down at the edge of my bed with something in his hand.
I was so distracted by his eyes that I didn’t realize he brought back a pair of shorts I let him borrow when I saw him last month.  

Before he gave them to me he said, “Alex, I’m sorry if these have any bed bugs on them. And I’m also sorry if they infest your bed and your house.”

I laughed.
”What? What do you mean? Are you being serious?”

He laughed too and got a little shy.
He looked down at the shorts and continued, “Yeah. Before I left the apartment, we had a problem with bed bugs. They were crawling everywhere. But I washed them before I came here. I even used hot water.”

I laughed again, sat next to him, picked up his chin and looked into his green eyes.
”Oh my God. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure there’s no bed bugs in these shorts. And if there is, it’s okay! I’ll just blame you for everything.”
I patted him on the back and smiled.
He started to laugh again.
I could tell he didn’t feel uncomfortable anymore.
He gave me the shorts and I put them away in my drawer.

I started to scratch my hand.
”Oh wow. Maybe you’re right. There are bed bugs in those shorts!”

He smiled and shouted, “Shut up!”

”Sorry. I had to do it. It was just too easy. But okay. I’ll stop.”

I sat down next to him again and we talked for a few moments.
He said he wanted to go out for a while and do something.
So, we did.

Our first stop was a place called Sonic.
It’s this drive-in fast food restaurant that sells really good drinks.
They also have a playground area with sand and an area to play volleyball.

We got down to the playground area.
It was a very hot and humid night (it was my awful idea to get down and I instantly regretted it).
To cool off, I got myself my favorite cherry lime cream slush and he got a cherry slush.
He never even heard of a cream slush.

”It’s like a slush mixed with ice cream,” I tried to explain.

”That sounds gross, Alex,” he said with that stare I love and hate at the same time.
It’s so compelling and sexy.

”What?! It’s not gross! It’s my favorite drink.”

”It sounds gross,” he repeated.

They brought out our order.
I had to make him try my cherry lime cream slush.

”Okay. That’s good!” He said.

”See! I told you!”

”You made it sound gross though. It’s not really ‘mixed,’” he air quoted and continued. “It’s more like blended. They blend the ice cream with the slush.”

I rolled my eyes.
”Okay. Well excuse me for using the wrong terminology.”
We both laughed.

Soon afterward, we debated on what to do next.
It was either an exploration to Target or Walmart.
We would’ve chosen the former, but the store was closing soon.
To Walmart it was!

Now, I know most people would probably think, “What the hell do you do at Walmart at 12:00am?”
To be honest, you can’t really do much.
It’s who you’re with that that question really matters.
I wasn’t bored with him there.
I was just happy that I was spending time with the boy of my dreams.
I didn’t care where I was, so long as I was with him.
We were looking around cracking stupid jokes and I will admit I was being a little sassy with him.
The best part though was that he was being sassy right back.
I liked that.
We explored many sections of this supermarket together.

First, it was the alcohol section.
We couldn’t buy anything because they didn’t sell after midnight.
It didn’t matter anyway.
I’m sure we weren’t going to drink.

Next was the TV and video game section.
We were just looking around, mostly.
I made a joke about getting him a big TV for his birthday.
We laughed.
Then he showed me some video games that he wanted to play.
I made a mental note of them for later.

Then, we went to the toy section.
While I was looking at Power Rangers figurines, he decided to play with the smallest soccer ball he could find.
It looked funny because of his big black boots.
“He’s such a little weirdo,” I thought.
“But he’s my weirdo.”
He kicked it around and through the isles and somehow “accidentally” hit my butt with it.

When he was done with the soccer ball, he amused himself with a hula hoop.
I saw him attempt to do it – he failed.
It was quite tragic.
He didn’t know how to do it, but he tried his best.
Hell, it was way better than what I would’ve done, so I shouldn’t judge.
It was cute seeing him swing his hips around.

Lastly, we went to the book section to find nothing interesting.
So to kill more time, we went to the men’s clothing section so he could look at some t-shirts.
We were not there for much longer.

We finally left our little late night adventure.
We arrived at my house moments later.
I had a little surprise waiting for him there.
It was his birthday last week, so I had a few things for him.

I actually had sent him a card with part of his gift in the mail.
I never got a thank you from him which worried me about the gifts.
I was getting really scared that he didn’t get it.
Coincidentally, the card that I sent him was sent back to me yesterday.
Apparently I put the wrong address.
Everything happens for a reason, and this was definitely for the better.

When he walked into my room, he made himself comfortable and sat down on the same spot from earlier on my bed.
I was starting to get nervous.
I didn’t know how to give him his gifts.
I wanted to surprise him, so I asked him to close his eyes.
His reaction wasn’t what I expected.
He frowned and shrugged his shoulders and asked, “Why?”
I assumed he thought I wanted to kiss him, so I told him to cover himself with my blanket.
He did just that.

I went into my closet to get his surprise gifts and laid them neatly in front of him.
“Okay, you can take off the blanket now,” I said.
He threw the blanket out of the way and looked down.
“Happy birthday!” I shouted awkwardly while I presented him with his gifts.  
In front of him was the card that got sent back to me, a book called The Reason, and a gift from Sephora.

He saw the book first.
He had the biggest smile.
I loved it.
I loved looking at him when he was so happy.
“Oh my god. I can’t believe you got this stuff for me. And you got me the book! Thank you!” He said while giving me a really tight hug.

When he let go, the next thing he was curious about was what was in the Sephora bag (he’s always one that wants to take care of his skin, but just doesn’t care to spend money on that kind of stuff).
He took out the tissue paper and saw that I got him a cleanser, as well as a konjac sponge to exfoliate his face.
He had that big beautiful smile on his face again.
“Thank you Alex,” he paused looked into my eyes and continued, “Seriously.”
“You’re very welcome,” I replied.

Lastly, he finally looked at the card in an envelope with his name on it and a return address.
I had to explain to him what happened.
I was a little embarrassed about it because I supposedly put the wrong address, but when he saw it, he said that it was correct.
I don’t how that happened, but I’m glad the post office sent it back.
Because his reaction after reading the card was worth the wait.

The card I got him was cute in my opinion.
I can’t recall exactly what it read, but it was a game controller with a cute phrase.
Inside the card was two gift cards wrapped in a little paper note I decided to write separately.
To be honest, I didn’t know if he was going to keep the card, and I also didn’t know what he would do to it if he did keep it.
I was worried that someone in his family would get nosey and read the personal things I wrote him.
So, that’s why I decided to write him something separate from the card.

On the card, I wrote: I hope you have a great and wonderful birthday. You really deserve it. You’re an amazing person and a great friend. I’m glad to have you in my life. Happy birthday!

On the note, I wrote: So one day I asked you what do you want for your birthday. You jokingly told me, “Buy me groceries.” I didn’t take it as a joke. So, inside this card is a gift card to H-E-B. Go buy yourself some groceries.
He could’ve asked for anything.
Clothes, a game, shoes, cologne – hell, just anything!
But instead of saying any of those things, (or just about anything I could think of) he said, “Buy me groceries.”

He’s such a weirdo.
But he’s my weirdo

Things like that make me laugh, and smile, and remind me as to why I like him so much.
He didn’t react when he read this, but when he saw the gift card afterward he laughed and said, “Oh my god you actually got me groceries?! Thank you Alex.”

He continued reading the separate note I gave him.
It was really quiet, and it was making me feel a little nervous.
All I could remember at the time, was that I wrote how much I care for him and that I just want to see him happy.

Moments passed and he just looked at me; speechless and breathless.
He couldn’t stop smiling, and that in return made me smile.
He reached over to me and hugged me once more.
This time, it was different.
I could tell he didn’t want to let me go.
And when I hugged him tighter, he pulled me even closer to him.
He was holding me so tight that he could’ve suffocated me.
But I liked it.
I liked that he didn’t want to let me go.
If I could relive a moment in my life, this moment would definitely be one I’d come back to.

He told me thank you for the last time and slowly let me go.
We looked into each other’s eyes and I swear I wanted to kiss him.
I thought it was a perfect moment, but I knew I shouldn’t.
I knew I had to wait.

After that moment, I was happy.
I felt accomplished.
I felt good.
I felt important.
He’s never looked at me in that way before last night.
I didn’t need anything more, but the night wasn’t over and it just kept getting better.

We talked a lot.
About our problems.
About our futures.
About our feelings.
We cuddled.
We held hands.
We looked into each other’s eyes.
We felt each other’s heartbeat.
This was going on for hours, but it only felt like minutes.
I cherished every single moment of it.

It was 4AM.
I thought it was too late for him to go home so tired.
I insisted that he stayed over, but only if he was okay with it.
He was.
I got up and got some clothes for him to change into.
He walked to the bathroom, changed, and in a few moments was back in my room to join me on my bed.

The rest of the night involved a lot more cuddling.
This time, we were under a ton of sheets to keep ourselves warm from my cold room.
I had my arm around his chest and my legs on top of his.
My head was resting on his shoulder.
I was listening to him breathe.
It was really heavy.
I moved my hand closer to his chest.
I felt his heartbeat.  
It was beating faster than normal.
Was he nervous?” I thought to myself.

“Hey. Can I ask you something?” I said.

“Yeah. Of course. Anything.”

I looked into his eyes.
The room was dark, but I could still see the glow in his eyes.
It’s as if they illuminate on their own.
He was staring back at me.
My anxiety started kicking in again.
Before I let it take over me, I asked him the question.
“Can I kiss you?”

He paused.
“Yeah. You can.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure. You can kiss me.”

I kept my eyes locked on his.
My left hand found it’s way behind his left ear, tussling his hair.
My right hand found it’s way to his face, caressing his cheek.
Just before I pulled him closer, he reached over to my lips and kissed me.
I pulled away, looked at him again to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.
It was still him.
I leaned towards him to kiss him again.
And again.
And again…

I didn’t want the night to end.
But as the night got older, a new day started to begin.
I couldn’t believe that this was happening.
I’m kissing the boy of my dreams.
It was so perfect.
It was so magical.
I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.

When my thoughts stopped overflowing, I stopped and said, “It’s getting late. We should really go to sleep now.”

“Yeah. I know. Thank you for everything tonight. I really don’t deserve you as a friend,” he said.

“Yes you do. You deserve to be happy. You deserve the world.”
He gave me a cocky smile.
And I mirrored that smile.

I gave him one last hug and one last kiss.
“Goodnight Alex.”
I turned around and for once in a very long time, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.  

Love always,

anonymous asked:

RFA + minor trio react to MC being a total party animal or just really hyper loool

Aww my first HC request. >\< I hope I did this well enough. Sorry that some are longer than others.. I’m probably going to go back and add on some more. My ask box is open so feel free to send whatever your heart desires! …

Party Animal/Hyper MC


•This poor boy, you wore him out so much.

•You would always plop yourself in his lap during his LOL matches and flash a smirk at him, while he grunted trying to push you off so he could focus.

  • “Let’s go out honey~” You would say.
  • “But we went out last night, and the night before that!” He whined.
  • So you simply crossed your arms over your chest and huffed. “I’ll just go by myself then..
  • Before you could storm off, he had grabbed your wrist and let out a groan. “Fine, we can go out. But let’s not stay too long, please? I have class tomorrow.”
  • He would literally do anything to make you happy, he’s too pure. Just make sure you give him all the cuddles he needs when you guys get home late that night~


•Loved how active and outgoing you were. It was a trait she admired about you and something she wished she had.

•I feel like she’d be able to keep up for a little while, not being able to say no to spending time with you.

•But would eventually burn out and explain there are nights where she simply can’t do it. She feels terrible about it but it’s the honest truth.

•So instead of going out into public, y'all just stay home and get turnt to broadway music lol. That was enough for the both of you as long as you were with each other.


  • Despite his hectic rehearsal schedule, Zen loved to go out! It gave him a chance to flaunt his looks when he wasn’t on stage.
  • Sometimes if you guys were out at a nightclub, you guys were the life of the party.
  • Just the ultimate couple tbh.
  • But there are times where he would rather just stay in with you.
  • Sometimes you guys would throw your own parties in your guy’s apartment with just you two. Playing Just Dance, doing karaoke, and stuffing your face with food.
  • You guys would even create your own little musicals.
  • He also loves to go out on a private date with just you and him, because the paparazzi can be too much sometimes. 
  • You two just always have fun together, whether you’re out in public or at home. He loves your energy.                                                                         


  • This CEO isn’t much of a partier, but he loves to travel with you. 
  • Questioned your sanity at first. “How is she always so..energetic?
  • Nevertheless, there would be some clubs he would go to you with, but would much rather enjoy the nightlife with you only.
  • Most of the time you would take him to fun “commoner” rollerskating, or a carnival!
  • He grew to actually really like rollerskating? I feel like he would be a pro at it, and just be gliding across the rink like it was nobody’s business lmao.
  • Oh, and when you introduced him to cat cafe’s.. his mind was blown and his heart was full.
  • I must open one up in Elizabeth’s name.. it could have rollerskating as well. I could develop rollerskates for cats so they could do it with the guests.
  • This guy loves you and loves exploring and trying new things out with you!!


  • This guy honestly loved to party as much as you did, when he wasn’t being a distant little shit.
  • Just like Zen, you two would be the center of attention I feel like. You both were just obnoxious and hyperactive.
  • Y’all usually caused a scene wherever you went because of your shenanigans. 
  • Once you guys got kicked out of Walmart for doing the floor is lava challenge and Seven jumped into the thing that holds all the bouncy balls sending them flying everywhere, while you jumped onto a stack on packaged toilet paper making the whole thing topple down.
  • Seriously guys what the fuck is wrong with you we can never take you anywhere without causing a mESS


  • The last party he went to he was fucking brainwashed.
  • This little guy would be so anxious oh GOD, please be gentle and go easy on him please.
  • Sometimes your hyper-ness would get on his nerves and he would give you one of his ~death~ glares in hopes to get you to stop. 
  • But you don’t and you just keep on rambling and being a weirdo.
  • How did I fall for someone like this she’s just like my brother if not even worse why do i do this to myself-
  • At the parties you did get him to go to, he would just sit in the corner with a dead face like the emo child he is.
  • A drink in one hand, a cigarette in the other as he watches you bust out ridiculous dance moves in front of him in an attempt to lighten his mood, but all you got was an exasperated sigh.
  • imissmyreligiouscult
  • When he’s had enough he would say “Let’s go.” in a blunt voice and if you refused he would pick you up and throw you over his shoulder and exit the building, ignoring all your complaints. 
  • To be honest, he would much rather just cuddle with you and talk about random shit.
  • He enjoys private intimate moments with you where everything is just calm because his life has been so hectic from day 1. 
  • He thought you were adorable and loved how full of life you were.
  • He would much rather just be in your arms or vice versa.
  • He would never admit that tho.
  • little btich


  • When you said that you liked to go out..he didn’t know you meant..nightclubs and wild parties. 
  • I really don’t think you guys would ever go out and party like that!! Maybe once in awhile but definitely not frequently.
  • And you would be perfectly fine with that because this guy is the love of your life alright.
  • Instead of going out, you guys would like to bicycle together! (THIS IS IF HE COULD SEE OK OMG IMAGINE V TRYING TO RIDE A BIKE IF HE WAS BLINDJKS)
  • You guys would bike around the park or to the zoo or whatever!
  • Have little picnics with each other beneath a cherry blossom tree and feed the geese in the lakes. Despite the sign that says DON’T FEED THE GEESE.
  • Would take many pictures of you and the scenery. 
  • You would also do mini photoshoots of him!! He always says he likes to capture art BUT YET HAS NEVER TAKEN A SINGLE PICTURE OF HIMSELF WTF
  • This dude loves to spend every second of his days with you, would often take you on his trips~


  • This guy wasn’t going out to no damn party where there would be drunk people, sweat and vomit everywhere ok. 
  • Only time he would go out is to get discounted cleaning supplies from Walgreens-
  • “Wait, what?”
  • “Bowling?”
  • “what is that wha t”
  • So you take him to a nice bowling hangout
  • Uh MC why do I have to change my shoes???? they don’t go with my leopard print. im not taking off my gloves either its not happening
  • omg shut up and just do it vanderbaby
  • he’s scoffing as he puts on the shoes, upset that it’s ruining his ~style~ 
  • “So..I have to slide this ball at the pins and knock them down?”
  • Can I pretend the pins are Seven?
  • After telling him yes he’s literally chucking the ball down the damn aisle
  • keeps his cool tho, pretends like it’s not even his fault, makes up excuses
  • “it’s rigged, they slicked the alley with some type of liquid so that’s why my balls keep missing.”
  • did u just say… my balls
  • “god MC shut up you act like you’re the best but honestly you suck just as much as i d-”
  • Gets super competitive suddenly, and eventually once he gets the hang of it he beats your ass then pretends like he wasn’t even phased
  • like no he wasn’t even trying man it was just natural, he didn’t become a special agent for nothing
  • like he would subtly rub his win in your face and console you like you were ACTUALLY upset 
  • it’s okay maybe next time honestly i wasn’t expecting to win im just as shocked as you, ya know
  • god vanderwood just shut up and take me home
  • anyways he doesn’t mind going out with you, he enjoys it actually but he wont admit that to you either 
Winchester Sandwich

Summery: If you ever imagined yourself being sandwiched between the two Winchester brothers, it sure as hell didn’t look like that.

Word Count:  3595

Warnings: Explicit language, mentions of death, dead bodies, violence, is being sandwiched between the Winchesters a warning..? A very frustrated reader, I guess that’s it.

When it comes to fantasizing about some ridiculous situations that would never even happen in the first place, being sandwiched between the two Winchester brothers was not at all like you would’ve imagined. The whole situation in itself was unexpected and awkward at first at least. To say Y/N was not happy about the outcome was an understatement of the century.

I mean, what would you do? You’re on a hunt, normal enough, right? In your line of work anyway. You’re hunting a nasty wendigo who had a taste for a couple hikers in the past few days. The case as normal as it can get, it feeling almost unnecessary for the three of you to be taking care of the problem. It’s just your regular, Friday night monster, ain’t it? So you go, prepare yourself for the hunt, mood light, happy, confident stride along the woods, you could almost start humming under your nose, the calm atmosphere and prospect of an easy hunt right ahead. The three hunters stepped into the woods like they owned the damn place, not wavering even a second, determined to kill the monster and save as many people as they could.

They decided upon drawing the monster out of its hiding, setting a camp in the deep woods, flare guns at the ready for the ugly son of a bitch to come out and play. They sat and talked for some time, their moods light enough to have them mistaken for regular campers but their senses sharp as ever, hunter’s instincts never faltering. So they sat expectantly, ready but cocky enough to be taken by surprise, because what they hadn’t expected was for the monster to have a partner in crime, literally.

There was not one wendigo, but two of them. And both of them hungry and strong enough to take the hunters down. When they first showed, the three musketeers weren’t sure where the sound was coming from, which was normal enough because those damned things are not only ugly, but friggin’ fast. So they strained their ears and looked around them as the growling grew louder. Soon enough they all came to the same conclusion, that the sounds were coming from different places, which most likely meant different monsters. It was unheard of for wendigos to hunt in a pack or with a partner but that wasn’t the weirdest thing to ever happen to them, right? Anasazi symbols drawn around them, unabling the growling monstrosities to come closer. Even though the hunters were taken by surprise, they still were skilled and experienced enough not to panic. So they waited for them to show themselves, which, obviously hadn’t happened. So the three of them looked at each other and nodded, silently communicating and started getting closer to the edges of the symbols that were protecting them so far.

Unfortunately, Dean wasn’t careful enough and when he started calling the ‘ugly sons of bitches to come out and take a bite out of that fine ass’ he crossed the line by half a boot and one of the monsters snatched him without much thought, the flare gun flying from his hand in the process. Both Sam and Y/N launching after him, only to be jumped by another monster. He caught Y/N but Sam slowed him down by putting a couple of bullets into his back and the monster faltered enough for Y/N to get out of its grip and fall to the ground. The wendigo was about to grab at her again when it shrieked and cried out into the night, its body catching on fire immediately. Sam ran around the creature to tend to Y/N and see if she’s alright, which she was and the two of them set off to find Sammy’s brother who was stupid enough to get himself kidnapped, which they didn’t fail to mention on their way, following the wendigo’s tracks.

That wasn’t even the worst of their night, not yet at least. When the two hunters found the monster’s hiding place, a very humid, very wet and slippery cave, they not only discovered the three bodies hanging from the roof of said cave but a few old bones scattered around the place, possibly what was left of their previous victims.

Before they managed to find and save “Dean’s fine ass” they stupidly decided to split up to cover more ground. Y/N went off deep into the very, very wet cave and Sam went into every little corridor, trying to find his brother. He finally did manage to get to his brother, who was hanging off of thick ropes around his wrists and grumbling under his breath that he was so gonna kill that son of a bitch when he got free. Sam called out to Y/N and she ran back to where Sam’s voice came from but obviously with her luck it couldn’t have gone down any other way and she slipped on one of the rocks and ended in a wet puddle on the hard ground, the fall making her wince sharply. Before she knew it, the wendigo was standing in front of her making the god awful growling noises again and she reached for her flare gun, aiming it towards the monster.

When they finally finished looking around the cave for any other victims who might’ve still been alive, not finding any, it was well into the night. All three of them were bruised and tired, unsatisfied with the hunt not having saved anyone. When they retrieved from the cave, they all realised they forgot where they came from and they were so far into the woods that they didn’t know how much time it would take them to find their way back to the car. Thankfully, Y/N had some sense in her head, as well as a good sense of direction and was able to lead them all back to their fake camp. Only then did they realise that the camp was as fake as it could get with only one tent and a couple of blankets from the impala. They were too tired, mentally kicking themselves for not coming there faster and saving at least one person, that they couldn’t even think about packing all that stuff up and heading out into the woods again in search for the car. So they did the only thing that seemed reasonable, what with the oncoming rain and all, they all got into their tent, bought last minute in Walmart, mind you and huddled up inside, trying to keep warm. The adrenaline from the hunt was wearing off and the cold started getting to them faster than they expected.

‘Goddamnit, I’m beat… I just wanna get some sleep’ grumbled Dean after thirty minutes of them sitting in silence, drowning in their own thoughts. Y/N sighed and Sam agreed, nodding his head. ‘You know we’re most likely gonna freeze to death if we fall asleep here..?’ Y/N said skeptically, the rain already pouring outside and pounding on their cheap tent. ‘Not if we keep close we’re not. We just need to huddle up and let our body heat do its thing and we’ll survive till mornin’ ‘ Dean replied matter-of-factly, smirking at Y/N. She rolled her eyes and struggled to keep her body from shuddering from the ever-growing cold surrounding them. ‘Yeah.. I mean, I could use some shut eye too Y/N/N..’ Sam said, looking at her expectantly. ‘Well alright! But if I freeze to death by morning I’ll haunt your asses for the rest of eternity, got it?’ she hissed. The brothers didn’t respond but started moving to spread out the blankets evenly on the ground. ‘Alright, get in the middle sweetheart’ Dean instructed and her head shot up to meet his gaze, her expression alarmed. ‘Why?! WHy do I have to be in the middle?!’ she screeched out, looking between the brothers. Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes ‘Because you’re the smallest and my years of cuddling with Sammy ended long ago, so stop grumbling and scoot over to the middle’. Y/N huffed and said something under her breath, neither of the brothers picking up the words. She moved to the middle of the makeshift bed and lied down, her head on a pillow made of a rolled up blanket. She was lying on her side, turned away from Dean, her back to him. He scooted over to her and lied down beside her, Sam doing the same, lying down and facing her.

They lied like that for a couple of minutes, all of them stiff and uncomfortable, awkward silence filling the air. The blanket-pillow was enough for Y/N and Dean, but Sam wasn’t so lucky and his head was a little lower than Y/N’s, one arm under his ear. It felt like the silence stretched on forever until Dean shifted behind her and cleared his throat before blurting out ‘Uhmm.. Y/N you think I could… I mean…’ he didn’t seem to be able to let the words out so Y/N sighed loudly and reached back for his hand, which was sitting awkwardly at his side and pulled his arm across her waist. ‘There, no biggie Dean. Just don’t get used to it’ she said and Dean murmured a thanks and slowly relaxed against her back. Y/N still wasn’t able to trick her body into thinking she’s on a comfortable bed back at the bunker, with a memory foam mattress, so she resigned herself to lying there with eyes closed waiting for sleep to come to her eventually. When that didn’t happen for the next few minutes, she opened her eyes and looked right at Sam whose eyes were closed tightly but she knew he was far from being asleep either. Then she looked down at the arm under his head and noticed the uncomfortable way his neck was strained trying to find a better position. She closed her eyes again. God, I’m so gonna regret this later… she thought and touched Sam’s shoulder to get him to open his eyes. He opened them immediately and Y/N moved back, pressing her back completely against Dean, feeling his hot breath on the back of her head, she patted the now vacated piece of the blanket-pillow she was previously occupying letting Sam know he was put out of his misery. He shot her a thankful smile and moved closer, lying his head on the blanket, visibly more content. Y/N retreated to her previous method of waiting for sleep to take her instead of forcing it come to her and this time it seemed to work because a few minutes later she was passed out.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been out but she didn’t feel rested whatsoever. What woke her up though, wasn’t the cold like she thought was going to happen but the unexpected heat coming from all around her. She opened her eyes slowly trying to determine exactly where the warmth was coming from but only then did she feel her body pressed tightly against Dean. She could feel his even breathing behind her, still fanning the back of her head, though now it was accompanied by his lips pressed against her hair as well. It seemed like deep in his sleep, Dean had pulled her tighter to him, top half of her body completely pressed against him, making her back really, really warm and no doubt sweaty once she pulled away. Having checked that, Y/N returned her focus to what was in front of her. No wonder she felt like she couldn’t breathe properly in her sleep, the younger Winchester was sprawled out right in front of her, facing her right on, deep in his sleep as well as his brother. His head was a little higher than Y/N’s and his hot breath was hitting her face every few seconds, his whole body on the side, shielding Y/N from any kind of fresh air she could get. It wasn’t only that but Sam’s long legs were tangled with her own in a mess of limbs which confused Y/N to no end. The man was big as it was but now it seemed like he was taking twice the space he normally did.

She tried to turn and change her position but Dean only held her tighter if that’s possible, quite probably crashing her lungs, successfully keeping the air out of them. She found herself unable to move, sandwiched between the two Winchester brothers, mess of limbs and bodies seemingly fused to one another, not able to determine where her body ended and theirs began. Suddenly she really sympathised with grilled cheese, feeling like she was about to melt between the two men from the heat coming off of them in waves and in not so pleasant way.

They were all covered by one of the thickest blankets, so Y/N, being the smallest and being squished in the middle of the Winchester sandwich was quite seriously starting to consider never ever making grilled cheese again, if only she managed to survive the night. She was starting to suffocate from the lack of oxygen in her very much restrained lungs and she attempted one more time to move and change her position to a more comfortable one, or at least a one that wouldn’t make her feel like melted cheese. That didn’t work out that well for her because in her attempt at changing her position, she kicked her legs around, which made Sam throw one of his legs over both of hers and move even closer to her, his face inches away from Y/N’s. If that wasn’t enough, Dean still held her in a vice-like grip and he didn’t seem like he was going to let go anytime soon.

Years of hunting, killing monsters, saving people, chopping heads off, thousands of close calls, dying and coming back to life, slicing, slashing, cutting, chopping, running, being impersonated, possessed, tortured, killed, mentally molested and this is gonna be my end… Being fucking squished to death by Winchesters… Fucking Winchesters, no one else… Who else would be even able to do that… Obviously, the fucking Winchesters, it’s almost a joke at this point…. Saving the world right after they caused the apocalypse in the first place… Goddamn fucking stupid, idiotic, handsome, nearly perfect, best hunters on the fucking planet, motherfuckers…. It’s almost an honour to be killed by them at this point… Oh holy hell, I’m dying!!!! Wake up you sons of bitches!! I swear I’m so gonna kick both your asses when I get out of here…

She continued her internal monologue as it was the only thing keeping her brain from focusing on the lack of air that was really starting to get unbearable at this point. Finally, she snapped. She didn’t care if she woke them up or hurt them in the process, but using all of her strength… Which at this point wasn’t much…. She kicked Sam’s leg off of her and used both her hands to push the brothers away, one palm on Sammy’s chest, the other on Dean’s. She managed to turn around and lie on her back, taking a deep breath, revelling in the feeling of air filling up her sore lungs. Her hands were still placed on the brothers’ chests, successfully keeping them at a distance, which was oh so needed by now. She really, really missed her bed back at the bunker. Neither of the guys woke up during her outburst, none of them even aware of her messy-haired, nearly melted away state. They both just lied there in a blissful peace of their dreamland.

Y/N slowly pulled her palms from their chests and put them on her forehead, still taking deep breaths, promising herself never to underestimate oxygen again in her life. It was a precious thing, that could be so easily taken away. Never in her life did she expect the brothers to be the ones to try and strangle her in her sleep but then again she never did expect to sleep between the two of them in a not very big tent in the middle of the friggin’ woods… So yeah.. None of this was neither expected, nor planned by any of them and that was the only thing stopping her from trying and killing them both in their sleep just now.

While she recovered from the sudden ambush on her life, by no one else but Sam and Dean Winchester, who, by the way, were still passed out on either side of her, Y/N tried to calculate in her mind how much time it was till sunrise, though that was a little tricky not actually knowing the time… So she sighed heavily and turned on her side in an attempt to get comfortable, this time facing Dean, her back to Sam. She put her hand under the makeshift pillow and closed her eyes, trying to get at least a little bit of sleep now that she wasn’t being strangled to death. She would never peg Dean Winchester for a cuddler but these men were full of surprises, she started drifting away with that thought and once more let the sweet world of her subconscious take her away.

It was some time later in the night, definitely closer to morning now, that she woke up again. She hadn’t opened her eyes yet, but she felt really warm and no doubt was that sweat that she felt on her back. Before she opened her eyes to assess the situation, her other senses started coming to and she felt herself pressed against a hard surface…. Actually she was pressed against two hard surfaces, from the front and from the back. Her eyes shot open, her hunter’s instincts kicking in, she tried to move and sit up but she found herself unable to. The arm under the blanket felt completely numb and her other hand was pressed tightly between hers and Dean’s body. Both of his arms encircling her, successfully holding her in place. His cheek was pressed to her forehead, making her face hot. A little lower, at her waist, another heavy hand held her down. Sam curled himself up behind Y/N, draping his arm over her waist and pressing his body to her back.

At this point, not only was she hot and sweaty in the worst way possible, not the sexy kind of way that you’d imagine being placed between the two Winchesters, but she was also friggin’ angry. She thought for a moment, wondering when the hell did she become the boys’ rag doll but feeling another wave of heat hit her body she stiffed and screamed at the top of her lungs ‘OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE!’. That had both brothers up in no time, reaching for their guns and knives, looking around, their heads whipping back and forth like an owl on steroids. ‘What?!’, ‘What’s going on Y/N?!!’ they both asked, still cautiously looking around but not as panicked as before, seeing that they were in no immediate danger. They both looked at Y/N expectantly as she hoisted herself to a sitting position and started gathering her things from around the tent, putting her jacket back on. Both brothers watched her with confusion on their faces, as she scrambled around. Finally, when she gathered all her stuff and opened the tent to get out, she turned to them and said ‘I’ve had enough of the two of you’ she pointed her finger at each of them, her voice cold and deadly ‘You are insufferable. I don’t know how a human can produce so much body heat but this is abnormal! Both of you.. You are… You will never and I mean never share a bed with me again, neither of you!! I will not die a death of a grilled cheese! Get your stuff, we’re getting back to the bunker and I’m going to sleep in my own damn bed without your stupid bodies trying to make a panini out of me!!’ with that she left and started getting the stuff they left outside, it was all still wet but she didn’t care one bit.

The brothers sat in silence for a few seconds after she ended her outburst, both of them dumbstruck, not knowing what the hell she was talking about. Finally, Sam turned to Dean and mouthed ‘panini’ with a confused look and Dean shrugged, bringing the corners of his mouth down, in a manner of saying ‘I don’t know man, don’t ask me’. They sat like that for another few seconds before Sam asked Dean cautiously ‘You think… Maybe she hit her head on a hunt or something..?’. Dean thought about it for a moment and nodded ‘I guess, we’ll have to check for a concussion when we get back’. ‘Are you coming morons!!’ Y/N’s voice sounded from outside the tent. The brothers knew better than to say anything. They were smart men after all. They gathered their stuff and packed their backpacks, heading out into the woods, trailing behind Y/N. They walked in silence but both brothers were wondering on their way to the car if Y/N’s head didn’t suffer during the hunt, or maybe it was just that time of the month. Either way, no one said anything. Sam and Dean were smart like that. They knew better.



Having to dress up wasn’t really my thing but it had to be done. I was going to this awards show with my best friend Josh and his best friends Tyler. Otherwise, know as Twenty One Pilots.

I was wearing a silky blue dress and high heels cause apparently you can’t wear regular shoes. Josh and I are really close and I know most of his past. His past wasn’t great. Josh was fighting depression and anxiety but he doesn’t get it as bad anymore. At least that what he tells me.

I don’t believe him anymore. He’s been so distanced and isn’t in the mood for anything. I haven’t seen him smile in a long time and if so it was a fake smile. He wasn’t generally happy but tonight was his night they were nominated for best upcoming band and a few others.

I was nominated for best female/male actress of the year. I wasn’t expecting to win but it would be great if I did. Recently, I had played a part in Supernatural and American Horror Story which is awesome.  

But, all I really wanted to do right now was sleep. Yea, this was great and all but all I really wanted was sleep. Going back to reality I look at Josh. He was wearing a blue suit and matching Tyler. Joshler. Anyways, he looked adorable. (Yes, I’m talking about that one award thing where they wore blue suits.)

He smiled his adorable smile and playfully winked, seeing me check him out. I blush and look away. He then sits down on the chair waiting for Tyler. As he’s waiting he pulls out his phone. I smile at myself and go on my phone too.

Liking pictures of their Clique saying how proud they are of the boys. I was proud also. Its amazing how far they got but I wasn’t surprised. I knew this is where they would be in a while and I was right.

I look back at Josh. He wasn’t smiling anymore. He was frowning at his phone.

“Josh what’s wr-” I say getting cut off by Tyler opening the door.

“Woo, I’m so happy right now. This is gonna be sick.” Tyler smiled.

Josh looked up at Tyler and smiled. But, I knew it wasn’t a genuine smile. It was a smile that you put on when you want to please people to be nice. Asking him right now would be pointless with Tyler in the room because he would say he was fine and I wouldn’t be able to force him to tell me. So I dropped it.

“I proud of you guys.” You smiled.

“Thanks Y/n.” Josh said looking back at his phone.

I wanted to get this award show over with because I just hate going out in general.

*Time Skip because this is already a really late post*

As soon as we got back all I wanted to do was sleep. Oh, but the boys won two awards. As expected. So did I but that wasn’t as a big of deal as my boys.

Anyways, Josh wasn’t acting as his usual self all through the award show. He would be all smiley but this time he looked as if he was already over it stepping in. Like me but I didn’t show it as much as he did. I was worried about him.

When we got back everyone went to their room. Tired from the events that just occurred. I started thinking about all of the times me and Josh had together when we were just teenagers.

One time, Josh and I got kicked out of Walmart for being to load and eating whipped cream out of the can that we were planning to pay for. But, then we got into a whipped cream fight and things got messy. 
Or that one time I climbed a tree and was to afraid to get down so he had to climb up to get me. There was a lot of exciting moments but I liked the simple ones the most. Where we would just talk about stupid things.

I got up from my bed and walked to Josh’s (and Tyler’s) hotel room. I knocked on the door and was greeted by Tyler already opening the door. He screamed a little which made me laugh.

“Okay, Wow. Wasn’t ready to see you there.” Tyler chuckled.

“Where are you going, dude?” I asked noticing he was all dressed up.

“Oh, I’m going out with Jenna. But, I’m staying with her tonight. So, I’ll be back tomorrow.” He said hugging me goodbye.

“Okay, but don’t have too much fun kids.” I winked at him.

“Only you would say that Y/n.” Tyler chuckled shaking his head. 

I went into the room closing the door quietly. I turned to see Josh sitting down on his bed with the covers over him. He looked good not going to lie. He rubbed his eyes indicating that I woke him up.

“Sorry, love.” I whispered.

“It’s okay, Y/n. Come here.” He said opening his arms. 

 I go closer to him but stood still. He then gets up and picks me up from off the ground.

“Your taking too long and I wanna cuddle, now.” He said laying me on the bed and then coming in it himself. He wraps his arms around me and I start to get butterflies. I smile then readjust myself so I can have a clear view of his face which I adore.

“Josh, I wanna ask you something but I don’t want you to get mad okay and I want the truth. Okay?”

“Okay, Y/n. Your starting to worry me.” He chuckled nervously.

“What’s wrong? Don’t say you’re fine. Cause, you’re not.” I looked him straight in the eyes. I grab his face and stroke his check.

“What do you mean.” He looked away but was fully aware of what I was talking.

“Come on Josh you know what I’m talking about.” I looked at him with sad eyes. I knew something was wrong and all I wanted was for him to admit it. I know its hard but I really care about him. Love him even. I just couldn’t tell him.

“Y/n, life is hard for me and I don’t know how to deal with it. But, I have…Depression and I don’t like to admit this but I love you and want you to know what’s the important things about my life.”  He just said he loved me but I don’t think he meant it as in a lover but more like a friendly way.

Not gonna lie but that broke my heart. But, I had to act like it didn’t faze me.  I knew Josh had depression but never knew how to help him.

“Okay, I don’t know how to help you but I will try anyway I can. That I can promise.” I looked him in the eye and started leaning without noticing. We kissed and a few seconds later pulled away.

“Look, I’m sorry. I….I…uh.” I was at a loss for words.

“It’s fine. I get it you were caught up in the moment. It’s fine. Lets just go to sleep.” He said wrapping his arms around me even tighter pulling me closer.

Best. Night. Ever.

As you start to fall asleep in Josh’s arms you could help but smile. Little did you know that Josh was doing the same. 

Note: Okay, there will for sure be a part two because I didn’t finish the rest of the request this is only half. But, I wanted to get it up already so im breaking it up. sorry!!

Knight (Single Dad! Calum Hood AU) 4

Originally posted by sexycliffconda

A/N: IM SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG! This always happens I start off strong then my inspo dies cause I can’t seem to get to where I want. I’ve had this scene in my head since I started this and I hope this does it justice. This one might be extra long so watch out. Message me if you all want me to continue or not, please anything helps.

Parts: 1 2 3

“(Y/N)!” ‘Rora’s voice took you out of your slumber. The past couple of days you had slowly fallen ill with what you hope is just a small bug, and you were told by the tour doctor to make sure you got plenty of sleep and take a couple of medications for the next couple of days. You slowly opened your eyes seeing a concerned toddler with her new favorite stuffed lion cub toy clutched in her arms. You had gotten her that toy from a claw machine when you all stopped at a Dave and Busters for lunch, ‘Rora’s choice of course, and she hasn’t let it go for anything.

“Whats up little one?” You asked, your voice heavy with sleep and sickness.

“It’s almost lunch time and you haven’t eaten today. Are you okay?” She asked swaying a bit side to side as the bus hit another random bump in the road somewhere near Hershey, where the next stop would be for this leg in the U.S.

“Aurora! I told you (Y/N) isn’t feeling well. The doctor told her to get lots of sleeps. Sorry, she’s just been really worried, do you need anything (Y/N)?” Calum asked picking up Aurora.

“No, I’m okay ‘Rora, just need to sleep like a bear so I can be strong again.” You said looking up at the father daughter pair, the same look on their faces. “I’ll be fine.” You said giving them a small smile, before Calum nodded and closed the curtain to your bunk, hoping to block the noise he and the boys were making.

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AN: Sabriel, soulmates au, human au, college-ish au. Hopefully this story makes sense. Also the dictionary says that soulmates isn’t one word, but I don’t care.

Words: 1,900

The little kindergartener ran up to Gabriel, breathless with excitement. “Gabe, look what I made!” he exclaimed, excited as could be. Clutched tightly in his sweaty palm was a piece of red construction paper, folded in half. A sloppy kitten was drawn on the front, its head indistinguishable from its body, with two tails and only one big, pointy, bright-blue ear. “It says, ‘I love you more than tuna,’” the boy giggled, opening up to the inside of the card. “Get it? Because cats love tuna!” Suddenly shy, he held out the card, a tiny Valentine’s day offering. “It’s for you.”

Gabriel grinned. “Thanks Sammy. I love it!”


Sam stared down at the framed picture of his parents, a soft smile on his face. They were two of the lucky ones - he had heard the story time after time before. Born two months apart, they grew up together in the same small town of Lawrence. High school sweethearts who never became serious - how could they, when they both knew that they would someday find their soulmates - they parted amicably when Mary went off to college, while John stayed in Kansas to start an auto shop. Everything changed when, on John’s twenty-first birthday, he looked in the mirror and saw Mary’s face staring back at him. Sam had sat on his father’s knee many times, listening to him tell how he had waited two long, endless months to drive up to Mary’s apartment on her own birthday. Having just seen his face in the mirror herself, she jumped into his arms and they got married, had children, lived happily ever after… blah blah blah.

Not everyone was destined to get such a perfect ending, Sam thought wryly as he placed the photograph carefully back down on his dresser. When he was younger he had dreamed about his own soulmate, as all children did. Now, he viewed his twenty-first birthday - still a considerable four years away - with mixed feelings. Rather than dwell on the future, he tried to think about his future soulmate as little as possible.

Most of the time it seemed he was too in love with Gabriel to even care about his someday-soulmate, anyway.

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Creepypasta #1008: I Work At A Haunted Swimming Pool

Length: Super long

Just a little side note before I tell my story. Yes, this actually happened. The pool I work at is haunted, and there are many more stories similar to this. This particular event happened about 8 years ago, and I will tell it to you like it is happening in the moment because I think that is more fun. So sit back, relax, and imagine you are back in 2008.

I have been working as a lifeguard at the local swimming pool for a few years now. Well, calling it just “the local swimming pool” doesn’t do it justice. This place is like the Walmart Super Center of swimming pools. We are the largest facility in the city and we have a total of three pools:

1. An Olympic sized pool for lap swimming, swim meets and diving boards.

2. An outside pool with two water slides

3. An indoor pool with one slide.

I’m a headguard, so I basically run that shindig. I am responsible for making sure the chemicals are all in order, managing the lifeguards and opening/closing the facility. 

I had heard stories that the pool was haunted, but I never experienced anything myself. Older lifeguards told me the pool was haunted by a little girl. They once tried to contact her with a ouija board, and weird things began to happen in response to that. You could hear a little girl asking to go down the slide when no one was up there, lights/showers would turn on randomly and things would be knocked around. As I said, I have never experienced any of this, and I’m skeptical that any of it has happened.

Today, so far, has been pretty normal. The only interesting thing that really happened was with one of my coworkers named Abby. She is also a headguard, but today she was only working as a lifeguard. She told me about a nightmare she had.

She said that, in her dream, she was working by the diving boards, and a young kid walked up on top of the high dive, and jumped. He hit the water and immediately started to drown. Abby jumped in for him, but by the time she got to him he started to sink in the 18 feet deep water (5.5 meters). She dove after him but the kid was always just out of her grasp. 

Abby told me that she felt like she swam for ages, but she couldn’t reach the kid. The ground had seemingly disappeared, and the water dropped endlessly before her. She had swam deeper than she ever had before and she was running out of breath. At this point, she decided that her life was more important than some random kid, so she turned for the surface and began to swim up. As she was swimming, she felt a cold hand grab onto her leg and pull her down.

Abby’s dream was definitely scary, but not to me. It was a nightmare. That’s all. At least, that’s what I was originally thinking. Abby was on stand by the diving boards half way through the shift, when a kid went onto the high dive, jumped into the water and started to drown. She jumped in and successfully saved him, but she was visibly shaken. 

I asked her if she was all right, and she looked at me and said, “That was the same kid from my dream." 

I was put off by that, but it had to have been a coincidence. I let it go and went on with my day. By the time I got home that night, I was exhausted. Nothing in the world could have stopped me from crawling into bed and falling asleep.

I was working by the diving boards. Some of the kids were having a contest to see who could do the coolest trick. I was enjoying myself because as the contest went on, the kids became more and more desperate to be the winner. They started to do tricks they had never tried before, and about two in three kids would belly flop. Hilarious. 

One kid jumped off and tried to do some kind of a barrel roll. He hit the water sideways and knocked the air out of himself. He panicked and started to go under. No longer quite so funny. I jumped in for him, and once I was just out of arms reach, the kid started sinking. I went under after him and after a couple of seconds of diving, something felt wrong. 

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Prank War! - TW Imagine

Prank War! - TW Imagine

Prompt: You live with everyone that was included in this Imagine! You guys have a house rented that each of you pay fairly. It was a prank war between you and your friends. Let’s see who wins.

A/N: *IM SO SORRY IF THIS WAS POORLY WRITTEN. ALSO ‘Everyone x Reader’ WAS HIGHLY REQUESTED.* I hope you guys liked this! I’m so sorry for not posting anything, school has really kept me up with homework. There will definitely be a part 2 for stage 2 and 3 :) Happy reading! xx

Pairing: Everyone x Reader

Word Count: 1569

Originally posted by sydekick

Your POV

“Isaaaaaac!” You screamed out from the bathroom.

You heard the pack run towards the door. You quickly wrapped a towel around your body and walked out. When everyone saw you, they were all shocked to see you partially naked.

“Oh.” Lydia said with a surprised face.

“My.” Liam smirking, liking what he saw (toned legs, arms, more skin exposed than usual).

“GOD!!” You yelled out furiously, looking at Isaac with an evil and upset look.

“I told you, you work with the color blue.” Isaac grinned.

He had put blue hair dye in your shampoo, which you hadn’t realized until you were washing your hair.

“You hair is-“ Kira was interrupted by you.

“Blue? Yeah, I’m aware of that honey.” You were so angry, no, frustrated.

You went back into the bathroom, knowing that the pack was still outside the door.

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5SOS Preference: Your Child Calling Him Daddy

“Can you do a preference where you have a child from a previous relationship and she/he calls them dad/daddy depending on how old they are”

A/N: I’m going to say this now, Ashton’s preference is kind of heavy, hinting to some stuff that may or may not be triggering? I’d rather be safe than sorry, so here’s a warning about that. Anyway, please enjoy! xx

Also, this isn’t quite Daddy 5SOS verse, seeing as it’s supposed to be kids from a previous marriage. So it’s different kids. Anyway, I’ll stop rambling now :)


You and Luke had been dating for almost a year, and a major life decision was in the cards. You and Luke were seriously considering moving in together, but you were a bit reluctant. The last time you had lived with a guy, you had been nineteen and carefree, and after one night, you were nineteen, pregnant, and alone in an unfamiliar city. Not that you would have traded that for anything now, because you had Marcus. Marcus was everything to you – he was the reason you got up in the mornings, the reason you worked so much, and the reason you were so heavily weighing the option of moving into Luke’s flat. At twenty-two, there was so much you wanted to do, but was this really one of them?

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·         “I’m being forced to tutor you in math so you won’t fail but I really hate you and think you might be in love with me?”

·         “You’re tutoring me so I won’t fail math but I’m actually really good at it but I just wanted to be around you more.”

·         “You’re new and they’re making me show you around and you’re really, really cute so I don’t mind but I’m not sure if I can control myself.”

·         “We’re both in summer school and I really need to pass so can you stop being attractive so I can focus please?”

·         “Hey! I’ve been waiting in line for over an hour to get merch before the concert starts so if you don’t fucking mind could you back the fuck up, I am prepared to fight you for cutting me asshole.”

·         “So… I accidentally just knocked over that really intricate thing you made out of stacks of toilet paper that you’ve been working on for over a week…”

·         “Did you just touch my ass?!?! Cause if you did I will rip your dick clean off.”

·         “I really hate you and I just saw you at Walmart and when I tried to hide you saw me and now I’m trapped, somebody please help!”

·         “You’re like super famous and unnaturally hot and I fell asleep on your shoulder during a flight and now you want my number? What the hell? I think you need glasses.”

·         “You wrote your number in my notebook and I really don’t like you much but I texted you because I felt bad and now I think I love you??”

·         “We met at Warped Tour while hiding from people we know.”

·         “You caught me sneaking out of school so you helped me, I officially love you.”

·         “I just watched you drive your motorcycle off the road and found you in a ditch unconscious, it’d be awesome if you would maybe wake up and not die on me please?”

·         “You just rear-ended me and now you’re yelling at me for what you did???”

·         “I’m a YouTuber with less than like 100 subs and you’re like super famous (and hot) and you want my autograph???”

·         “I just accidentally walked into the shoot of your music video and now I am the love intrest??? Why???”

·         “It’s your first day here and you just got in a fight with the scariest kid in school… I’ll hold you a funeral.”

·         “You just got your ass kicked for standing up for me.”

·         “You just told me that you were in love with me and I couldn’t say no even though I was/n’t (Gay/straight/lez)  but now I think I might actually be in love with you?”

·         “I threw my phone up on stage at your concert and you accidentally gave me yours when I went to get it back.”

·         “We’re both deathly afraid of flying and we try comforting each other.”

·         “I was being cat called and you just yelled at the guys for it, can I buy you a coffee? Maybe get your number because you’re kinda hot.”

·         “You saved me from dying when I passed out in the middle of a mosh-pit.”

·         “You were talking to me and your friend pushed you and your face slammed into my boobs.”

·         “You think I’m a prostitute and pay me after sex…”

·         “You caught me staring at you and now your staring back, what do I do?!”

·         “I know that being straight is out-casted but I think I might be in love with you?”

·         “You fucked up my tattoo and I demand that you fix it right here right now.”

·         “You thought that I was deaf and learned sign language just so you could talk to me and honestly that is the sweetest thing ever but I’m not deaf, I just had my wireless earbuds in and didn’t know you were trying to talk to me.”

·         “I really hate you but we’re both third wheels on our mutual friends date so we have to spend time together.”

·         “Listen, I know we’ve never actually met before this but I am so fucking scared of heights and the ferries wheel just got stuck at the highest point… I am no longer in control of my actions, I am deeply sorry for what may happen.”

·         “I warned you that I am not liable if I punch you in the face!”

·         “I just had the worst day of my entire life and now I feel even worse because I just fired a rock out of frustration and hit you in the face, I am so sorry, are you okay!??”

·         “Can you please stop calling me those names!? I am so in love with you that it causes me physical pain to hear you call me that!”

·         “I swear to god if you try and get me in the ocean I will fucking drown you.”

·         “Don’t you type at me in that tone of voice!!!”

·         “You’re really hot and you come and get coffee from where I work every day so I write really shitty pick-up lines on your cup all the time.”

Feel free to use and if you do please tag me cause I really wanna read whatever it is you come up with!!!

Back Into It

Summary: For the Co-Writing groups, these lovely ladies were assigned Cas x Reader Angst. Try not to cry ;)

Word Count: 5000

Warnings: Angst

Authors: @just-a-touch-of-crowley, @baritonechick, @recklesspansexualpunk

“What do you want, Winchester?” You smirk as you bring the phone to your ear. Your snarky tone doesn’t go unnoticed by the man on the other side of the phone call.

Dean lets out a huff. “Nice to talk to you, too. Listen, we need some help.” You let out a heavy sigh and lean back in the chair you’re resting on.

“You know I’m no longer in that line of work.” A soft rustling can be heard as, you assume, Dean shifts the phone to his other ear.

“Yea I remember, but here’s the thing. It’s Cas.”

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Sometimes, I remember some of the people i’ve left behind.

Sometimes, I remember the first girl I made friends with at my new school. It’s been two years and I can’t even remember her name at this point. I knew her for a month or less before she switched to homeschooling. I remember that I met her in the school library at lunch. I remember that she was so kind to me and it made everything so much better even if I was too shy to really talk to her. I remember that she used to dabble in modelling. I wonder what happened to her sometimes. I wonder if she became a model, I wonder if she’s as skinny as she was over two years ago. I wonder if she still reads poetry, I wonder if she still hates junk food. I wonder if she’s going to college, I wonder if she became a real model, I wonder how her life’s going. I’ll never know and I’m sure she doesn’t even remember me.

Sometimes, I remember a guy that used to be one of my best friends. He was older than me and at this point, he’s most likely heading into his second year of college. I remember talking to him and sitting with him on the bus, I remember our long discussions about politics and things like that, I remember texting him all the time, I remember my last day and I remember hugging him tightly. We stayed in touch for awhile after we parted ways but it didn’t last. I haven’t talked to him in nearly two years and I sometimes wonder how he is. I wonder if he’s liking college, I wonder if he’s still working at that shitty walmart. I wonder if his insomnia still kicks his ass most nights, I wonder if he’s moved out on his own and out of that house that never felt like a home, I wonder if he’s moving away to New York to attend that college he’s always wanted to go to. I wonder about him and his life, I wonder if i’ll see him again and I wonder if we would recognize each other in a crowded place. I wonder if he’s going to live his dreams, I wonder if he’s failing his classes, if he’s passing, if he’s stressed. I wonder if he’s found a girl he likes, I wonder how many parties he’s gone to. I wonder how much he’s changed and how much he’s stayed the same. I wonder all this about him but I’ll probably never know the answers to my questions.

Sometimes, I remember the boy I sat next to in Biology, I remember his dimples, I remember that I had a crush on him and that we used to flirt, I remember that he liked me back but nothing came of it, nothing could. I remember that he wasn’t the best at school. Failed tests, ditched class, did drugs. I always wished I could help him because I didn’t want to see him go to waste but I couldn’t do anything and, before I knew it, I was gone. I sometimes wonder how he’s doing, if he still smokes pot and hangs out at that McDonald’s I wonder if he’s doing better in school, I wonder if he’s still with his girlfriend. For all I know, he could be dead, he could’ve dropped out. So many things could have happened and i’ll never know. I’ll never know how his life turned out but sometimes I wonder.

I know i’ll do the same things with the friends i’m about to leave behind.

Someday, I’ll sometimes wonder about the boy that I liked and nearly dated. It didn’t work out and i’m not sure if i’ll ever know why but he’s always going to remain an almost. I’ll wonder if he’s gotten taller, if he’s on the football team again, if he’s still close with the friends he has now. I’ll wonder if he goes to the same school, i’ll wonder if he’s doing well in school. I’ll wonder if his home life got better, If he’s got a girlfriend, I’ll wonder if he misses me around school. I’ll wonder if he ever learned to see himself as the beautiful person he is instead of what he seems to think he is, ugly. I’ll wonder if he’s realized how smart he is yet, I’ll wonder if he’s more confident, I’ll wonder if he’s learned how to not let the mean words and the teasing affect him the way they do now. I’ll wonder and i’ll hope that he’s happy because i’ll remember that his eyes just weren’t. I’m going to miss him and i’m going to remember him.

Sometimes, I’ll remember my close friend, a girl who dyed her hair every color of the rainbow and had scars and cuts on her thighs and wrists. I’ll wonder if she’s okay, i’ll wonder if she’s in college and if she likes it. I’ll wonder if she’s found a girl to love. I’ll wonder if her mom ever learned how to be a mother. I’ll wonder if she’s made friends, i’ll wonder if she’s chosen her career. I’ll wonder if she’s still in touch with our friends and I’ll wonder if she misses me. The friends I have now fit me so beautifully and i’m so sad to leave them behind.

Sometimes, I’ll remember a girl that I just clicked with, a girl who introduced me to so much music and so much everything that so much reminds me of her. I’ll wonder if her anxiety is as bad as it is now. I’ll wonder if she ever went to therapy like she wanted to. I’ll wonder if she’s still hurting because of the broken heart her ex left her with. I’ll wonder if she’s picked out her college yet, if she’s decided on whether she wants to design video games or if she wants to become a musician. I’ll wonder how much new knowledge she’s gained since I’ve been gone. I’ll wonder if she’s still as bad at math as she was when we knew each other. I don’t think I’ll forget her and I hope she won’t forget me.

I don’t want to leave you all behind because I won’t forget about you just like I didn’t forget the ones before you. I’ll remember, Sometimes.

—  Sometimes, 5.29.15
About the Blogger!


► Name ➔ Annwynn
 Will you answer all questions truthfully ➔ The best I can without creepers creepin’ on my creeper >.>
► Are you single ➔ Nuh uh
► Are you happy ➔  Very! <3
► Are you Italian ➔ Nope I wish

► Are you German ➔ I have no idea probably I’m a mutt
► Are you Asian ➔ pfffft nope I’m so neon white
► Are you angry? ➔ Not as much as I used to be…>.>

► Are you Irish ➔ I know I have that!!!
► Are your parents still married ➔ Yeeessss <3

► Birth Place ➔ Lowell, Massachusetts
► Hair Color ➔ Natural color is ash blonde but I dye it black LIKE MY SOUL
► Eye Color ➔ Green and yellow seriously I’m not kidding
► Birthday ➔ June 21st Summer Solstice I hate summer actually
► Mood ➔ Content :)
 Gender ➔ Female
► Lefty or Righty ➔ Lefty I’m totally a Satanist
 Summer or winter ➔ WINTER
► Morning or afternoon ➔ afternoon like midnight actually I hate mornings

► Are you in love ➔ YES YES YES WHOLEHEARTEDLY <3
► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ Not really, more like “i know this person is gonna influence me”
 Who ended your last relationship ➔ First her then me, LIKE A BOSS
 Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ Maybe? I have no idea >.>
► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ Not at all
► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ MORE LIKE THE LAST MINUTE I LOVE HUGS
 Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ Yes in elementary school the class clown totally digged me 
► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ Doesn’t everyone do that at least once?


► Love or lust ➔ Love
► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ Lemonade all the way
► Cats or Dogs ➔ KITTEHS <3<3<3
► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ A few best friends
► Television or internet ➔ Internet
► Pepsi or Coke ➔ Coke (it’s my crack)
► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ Romantic night in with my baby <3
► Day or night ➔ I’m a vampire
► IM or Phone ➔ phone but either really

 Been caught sneaking out ➔ sort of, I lied about where I was going and got caught. NEVER. DID IT. AGAIN.
► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ I can’t even remember how many times I’ve done this and it’s always in front of other people like how the fuck do you fall UP stairs but I’ve totally done it and it hurts
 Finished an entire jawbreaker ➔ NO I HAVEN’T!!! I had to stop because I licked my tongue raw and couldn’t taste for like 2 weeks
 Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ Yes it hurts so good
► Prank called a store ➔ Wtf no you go in that bitch and prank it all up, 101 things to do in Walmart bitch
► Skipped school ➔ Yes. It’s kinda awesome, not gonna lie.
► Wanted to disappear ➔ My depression can be evil bro

► Smile or eyes ➔ Eyes fo sho but I love both
 Light or dark hair ➔ darker hair, I’m not really into blondes
 Shorter or Taller ➔ Either is fine really, my partner is about the same height and it’s great :)
► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ Intelligence is attractive

► Hook-up or Relationship
 ➔ Relationship, hook-ups usually don’t end to awesomely
► Funny and poor OR rich and serious ➔ totally funny and poor, a lot of the great wonderful things in life don’t revolve around money, and experiencing what it’s like to have to pinch pennies makes a person humble

► Last Phone Call ➔ Like forever ago I called my t-rex friend to chill and go hunting like that long ago I don’t like talking on the phone
► Last phone call you received 
➔ My supervisor being all like “are you gonna be in pain are you sure you can come in tomorrow I need to know so I can switch the schedule-” BITCH I WORKED YESTERDAY WITH AN IUD EMBEDDED IN MY UTERUS IF I SAY I WILL BE FINE I WILL BE FINE but hey can’t turn down a day off
 Last person you hung out with ➔ My bebiee Emily <3
► Last thing you ate ➔ a piece of a meatball-a
► Last thing you drank ➔ Ginger Ale
 Last site you went to ➔ Facebook like the whore that I am
► Last place you were ➔ Surgery center having my IUD ripped out of my uterus fun stuff Versed is the best it’s like the most drunk you’ve ever been without the side effects its glorious fuck my uterus hurts

 Do you and your family get along  ➔ My parents totally, gotten much closer with my grandparents on my mother’s side, my brother we are doing better but we are total polar opposites, and some family members we are close but there’s that crazy side that you pretend doesn’t exist
► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ Christopher Titus said in his comedy special that “63% of families in America are considered dysfunctional” so probably
► Have you ever run away from home ➔ No, never needed to which is good
 Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ Oh no no way

Hello Gorgeous- Pietro Maximoff x Reader PT 26

Part 25, Part 27 

Description: Reader is hurt in a fight, and she is taken into S.H.I.E.L.D for her injuries, and ends up being there longer than expected, gaining new friends and falling for a certain speedster.

Warnings: Swearing, Violence.

On the Quinjet

“Okay guys, once we land I want everyone to stay focused on our task. All we want is for those three teens to be safe, and one thing’s for sure, they won’t be safe with Rampage. So find the kids, then your side mission is collect intel on whatever you think could lead us to Newton Grand and/or Steven Hillings. Oh, and don’t shy away from kicking in the teeth of all of their employees.” Steve said to his crew.

“Sounds easy enough.” The Black Widow crossed her arms.

“Well it will be, as long as we all stay focused.” Steve continued.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it. We’ll be focused. Stop jabbering already, I’m about to land this thing.” Clint said from his spot in the pilot’s seat.

Upon touching down, the group raises a significant amount of suspicion from the building ahead of them, and it didn’t take long before multiple guards stood outside waiting for the arrival of the Avengers. Pietro snatches the hand of Vision, leading him to provide as a diversion while the remaining three, the Captain, Widow, and Hawkeye slip through the doors. They split off during their ride in the elevator, which sent Steve to the next ahead floor, and left Nat and Clint all the way up to the last floor. 

Whilst they continued to trek through their respected corridors, Vision and Quicksilver managed to wreak havoc just outside. To those above or ways away, it would appear that a man in a red morph suit floated several feet above a crowd of armed men, spontaneously beaming energy at them individually from his forehead, while another man, not strangely red, kept reappearing in the crowd, throwing punches at unsuspecting people in the gathering of those with guns. 

“We could probably take these people out with our hands tied behind our backs!” Pietro shouted gleefully, obviously having a marvelous time.

“Yes, I suppose we could! Shall we finish up here and follow the rest of our team?” Vision asked with a small smile. He was enjoying the sense of a bond he was forming with Wanda’s brother.

“Just a minute. I want the last one.” A grown, fairly beefed up guard was quivering as Quicksilver sent him a devilish grin. Without warning, he jolted forward, twisting the guards nose, hearing it crack. He bent forward, clutching his nose, when Pietro touch the opportunity to rush behind him, kicking him down to the ground. 

“Nice.” Vision smirks, coming back to the ground.

“Thanks.” The speedster responds as the two jog into the facility. The man drags himself over to the doors, pushing them open weakly. Pietro turns, glaring at him. “Really? You’re up?” He raised a brow. The man took a step forward to raise fist at him. “Fine.” He sighed, swinging his foot up to smack against his face, leaving him to crash to the floor.

“Did (Y/N) teach you that one?” Vision chuckled.

“Your mom taught me that one.” Pietro said smugly.

“My mother was a destructive, controlling, mankind-hating AI, but in your short time spent together I doubt he ever taught you karate moves.” The android spoke as the two walked.

“Fair enough.” Pietro snickered. 


Steve went from room to room throughout the first floor, finding little company as he leafed through documents, pocketing those that looked that they served a specific purpose. This included some he found in a lab after taking down two of its workers. They seemed to be the plans for a old-timey looking hand buzzer prank, the kind that when you shake hands with it’s owner, it gives you a bone-chilling zap that travels all about your body. That was as it appeared, however, its notes stated it was some sort of teleportation device. It reminded him of the kind of tricky tools he and the Howling Commandos had used during many of their missions together. He kept moving, calmly strolling down the hallway to the next room. He stopped at the doorway, hearing a gasp. Steve spun around, fully alert. There was a kid, ebony complexion, looking around fourteen or fifteen, with a pair of boxy glasses, in an outfit that made him look as if he just broke out of prison. He had deep chocolate brown eyes and short clean cut hair. 

“You’re Steve Rogers! Oh my God!” His jaw dropped. Two guards charged behind him, guns raised.

“Hey! What the hell are you doing out of containment?” One of them asked. The teen spun around, putting his hands out to the men. 

“You might want to take a step back.” He shouted over his shoulder at Steve. Bewildered, he did as told. Suddenly, thousands of spiders poured onto the floor in front of the child, seemingly from nowhere. The two men standing ahead screeched while he led them up their bodies, soon engulfing them. They tumble downwards, still screaming out in torture. Cap stared in awe as the boy let his hands drop.

“…What the hell?” He whispered, confused. “Uh, I think I found number one.” He spoke louder into his earpiece.

“You think?” Widow asked.

“I’m pretty goddamn sure.” He uttered with sass.

“Who are you talking to?” The kid asked.

“A colleague. What just happened?” 

“Oh, um, the people here, they gave me powers.” He smiled widely. “Cool, right?” 

“Sure. But you do understand that the stuff they used to give you powers has killed other kids, right?”

“Yeah, I know. Why do you think I’m trying to get out of this hell hole? Are you here to help me?” 

“I am. Follow me, I’ll get you out of here.” Steve turned, continuing to walk. “You got a name?”

“Robbie.” He answered.

“So Robbie, do you only magically spawn spiders or can you do like snakes and stuff, too?”

“Not just spiders. I can think of anything, and it will generate somewhere around me. The only thing is, I don’t know how to make them go away.”

“How do you know you can?”

“I don’t.”

“Any other abilities?” Steve looked to Robbie.

“Well, I do have a photographic memory. But I’ve always had that.” He responded.

“I heard you’ve got two buddies. What are their names?” 

“Julia and Charlotte.”

“Did you know them before coming here?”

“Yeah, totally. They’ve been my best friends since kindergarten! Why?” 

“Because the last two kids who actually survived this project were twins.” Cap said. “Where are your friends?” 

“No clue. I picked the lock to my cage thing like twenty minutes ago, then I let them out. We all split up to find our stuff.”

“Hopefully team gets to them before the staff here does. You should never have split up, none of you have any training.” Steve shook his head.

“That wouldn’t have been much fun at all, now would it, Captain America?”

“It wouldn’t be fun, but at least it wouldn’t get you killed.” 


Upstairs,  Nat and Clint had been punching the shit out of some well deserving guards when Cap announced his discovery. Not long after, Clint entered another room while his partner searched another. He surveyed it, looking at how it was left and examining the cluttered floor.

“Well, are you just gonna stand there?” A girl appeared, leaning against the wall in front of him, arms crossed. He nearly jumped out of his skin. “Did I scare ya?” She grinned. “So what are you, another one of those piece of shit guard dogs they found on Craigslist?”

“No, they found me in a box in a Walmart parking lot.” Clint joked. 

She smiled. “What do you want?”

“I’m an avenger. I’m here to take you home. I don’t want anything.”

“How do I know that’s not a lie?” She narrowed her eyes.

“I have Tony Stark’s personal phone number.”

“Tony Stark? Iron Man?” She gasped.


“Wow! He’s like, rich as fuck!” She exaggerated.

“I’m aware of that.” Clint smiled.

“So what’s your nickname then? ‘Bow Guy’? ‘Arrow Dude’?”

“Hawkeye, actually. What’s your uh, regular name, kid?”

“Julia.” She had straight dirty blond hair, which was tied into a braid. Though, even with her blonde hair and blue eyes, you could tell this kid was not one to spend much time on looks. “And if you’re here to take me home, we’ve got to find my friends first. Let’s go, Bow Guy.” And with that, she walked straight through Clint, who was stood in the doorway.

“Whaaaat.” He grunted. 

Natasha joined them in the hallway seconds later. “I see you’ve found number two. All I found were some balled up pairs of ripped jeans and a few tee shirts.”

“Number two? Who’s number one?” Julia turned to Clint with furrowed brows.

“Cap said he found a kid named Robbie on the first floor.” Nat told her.

“Cap? As in Captain America? Oh my gosh, that is hysterical!” She giggled. “I bet Robbie almost shit his pants. That kid is obsessed with all of his comics.”

“Well, that means Steve is probably having tons of fun right now.” Clint smirked, Natasha sending him a knowing smile.

“Woah, woah woah! What the hell is that?” Julia shouted, Vision speeding around the corner at them.

“Relax, he’s an Avenger.” Clint said.

“Finally, someone I know!” Vision panted.

 “What’s up?” Nat asked.

“Well, uh, you see, Pietro, he uh, just kind of went off on his own, which wouldn’t be so bad if I promised Wanda I wouldn’t let him do that.” He fiddled with his hands nervously.

“He can hold his own. He’s a big boy, he’ll be fine.” Clint assured him.


Vision and Pietro had been ripping a new hole in another hoard of guards before one of the Rampage employees slipped away through one of the doors in the narrow hall. Eager to investigate why he had run from battle, Pietro snuck through the door behind him, which led to a staircase up to the next floor. He tiptoed after the man while he jogged up the steps. He seemed not to notice, until they reached the next door, where he turned and smiled.

“Oh good, you’re here. Thank God, If I didn’t lure you up here some how, Louis would kill me. Whew!” He chuckled. 

Pietro was absolutely puzzled. “What are you talking about?”

 “You’ll know in just a moment, Mr. Maximoff.” The guard said politely, turning to open the door

“Open that door, and I’ll kill you.” Pietro stepped towards him.

“Either you go in, or you can say goodbye to Wanda.”

“You don’t even have a way to get to her, you lying prick.” He shoved the guy against the door.

“Not right now, no, but we do know where she lives. Where she sleeps. We’ve done it before, what’s stopping us from doing it again, Mr. Maximoff?”

“The same thing that stopped you before. The Avengers.” 

The man simply laughed at Pietro’s response. “Do you really think either of them will suspect the gunman right outside her window? Do you truly believe that in the middle of watching an episode of Steven Universe they are going to be looking for someone who’s about to shoot them?”


“Well, she and The Blue Jay are at home, are they not? Sitting on Wanda’s bed, eating popcorn. Talking about their teammates. Their boyfriends. You. She sure does like you a lot from what I’ve heard.” 

“You’re bluffing.” Pietro held the collar of the man’s jacket in his hands.

“And if I’m not? How do you think it would feel to know that you killed them, Pietro? That you killed your little sister. Who you were supposed to protect. Or that the only girl you’ve ever loved had a bullet sent through her cranium because you though I was bluffing.”

Pietro sighed. “Open the god damn door.” He said through gritted teeth.

“At your wish, sir.” He smiled, as Pietro backed off. He prodded Pietro forward with the tip of his gun. They entered another hallway, similar to the one he and Vision had been in. The guard took him to a room fit for an interrogation from some sort of cop show. At the table was a laptop, opened to Skype. He was sat in the chair across from it, as well as cuffed to the table. Lastly, he had his earpiece confiscated. “Have fun.” The man smiled sweetly.

“Fuck off, shit sack.” Pietro spared no expense. The guard left the room, and another door in the room opened.

“Hello again Quicksilver. It’s nice to see our rolls reversed.” In walked Newton Grand, after him followed Steven Hillings, and finally Louis Grenwald, the man you had had multiple run-ins with in the past. Your boyfriend immediately directed his attention to Mr. Hillings.

“You son of a bitch!” Pietro shouted. “Your family fucking loved you, you bastard! You through your son out on the street! He was fucking scared for his life!” He stood from his chair, screaming.

“Please sit down, Pietro. I would kill you now, but I’m afraid you serve a purpose to me.” Louis said blandly. When he didn’t comply, Louis went further. “You have ten seconds to sit before I blow your sister’s brains out.” Pietro sat tentatively. “Good. Now what I want you to do, is call Wanda.”

“What?” Pietro looked up at him,

“Do you speak English? Call. Wanda.”


whats gonna happen idk wait yes i do find out soon maybeeee


Never Ending-Taylor Caniff FF-Part 5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

I woke up to people cheering and laughter.

I look up, dizzy and feeling like I need to throw up.

Oh what a surpise. I’m still at the stupid party. Man, why are the parties here in the lounge instead of the Frat House?

“Because they have wate pipe problems.” Some random guy called out. Okay?

I got up as quick as I could and ran up the steps and ran into my dorm. I walk into my room, finding Taylor and some chick. Irolled my eyes at the site.

“Hey, fuck birds! Get out and get your own room!” I yelled and tapped my foot till they got out. The girl glared at me and he smirked at me.

Before he left he whispered something into my ear. “You’re jealous.” Then he left.

Cocky little prick.

“Fag.” I muttered. Wow I’m a loner. I’m talking to the air…That is till I received a call.

“Y/N!” A voice sung. I laughed.

“Kirstin, calm down.” 

“I can’t! I’m going to Cali for a cheer competition.” I jumped.

“Oh my god! I can’t wait to see you!!” We hung up and I jumped onto my bed-well technically its mine and Taylor’s, but its mine because my butt is parked right here.

“What’s the commotion up in here?” I heard Cameron say in a country accent.

“Hey, stop that you’re copying me.” Taylor competed.

“Where the hell did you come from?” I retorted.

“Hey. It’s MY room too!” He fired back.

“Let the war begin.” I said under my breath.


“Nothing.” I smiled innocently.

Oh it’s on, Caniff.


Hey what’s up ya’ll. So freaking sorry I couldnt update this. This is short cause the next parts will be filled with something i’ve never put in a fanfic, but the next chapters will be better than these first 5 chapters.

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