like twenty dollars

Let’s dance, my dear friend.

: - )

Ok but listen

One of the Paladins, probably Hunk, got off earth with his wallet in his pocket.

He doesn’t think a thing of it; earth cash is worthless in space

A few weeks into life flying through the galaxy in a castle ship finds him sitting around feeling really comfortable and realizing he needs a simple task done. Maybe he left the oven on. Maybe he forgot the Thing he was working on in another room and needed it in this room. Maybe he was thirsty and wanted a drink.
Point is, he didn’t wanna get up

So he kinda side eyes Lance
“Hey Lance, do the thing for me.”
“Dude no. Do it yourself.”

A lightbulb pops up in Hunks mind: “I’ll pay you” he says

Lance perks up: “how much we talkin’?”

Consideration: “five dollars”
Negotiation: “make it ten.”
Refutation: “dude I bet I could get Keith to do it for three.”

Keith shrugs. Hunk translates that to “I probably wouldn’t actually, but I want to see where this goes” or possibly “I heard my name and this is probably an appropriate acknowledgement of that, but I haven’t actually been paying attention.”

Surrender: “fine. Five.” Lance goes and does the task, and comes back, “pay up, Hunk.”

Hunk roots through his wallet.
“You got change for a ten?”
“Well… Tens are all I’ve got… So… I guess I’ll give you one and you’ll owe me a five-dollar-favor?”
“Yeah sure. Sounds fair enough.”

Lance leaves the room, satisfied, just in time for hunk to break out laughing. Hard enough that the rest of team Voltron is Concerned (is this an existential crisis? Hmmm. No, not yet). Breathless, hysterical. In subsides after a time.

“You… Realize earth money is worthless in space, right?” Keith asks

Hunk starts laughing again, but nods. He just gave Lance a worthless piece of paper with a number on it in return for two favors. And it’s Priceless
(If we’re being honest, the favors were actually worth like, maybe two dollars each, but who cares? A favor is a favor, and earth cash is utterly useless anywhere but planet earth, what else is he gonna spend it on?)
But wait this definitely continues. Lance keeps doing tasks for worthless money.
Eventually Lance tries bribing Hunk back. And y'know what? Hunk was running low on cash, and it’d be good to have some in reserve, just in case he’s feeling especially lazy and wants to bribe Lance. So Hunk accepts. He gets ten dollars back (he managed to wrangle it so that it was ten dollars for a six-dollar-task especially well-done, so the ten is all his)

And it’s funny, it’s kinda fun, and it works. Lance does tasks for money, hunk does tasks for money to give to Lance to do tasks (you probably see where this is going)

Suddenly one day, the other Paladins realize how well it’s working and yknow what? They. Want. In.

Hunk started it all out with oh, about thirty dollars; a ten, a twenty, and about 63 cents. Lance had four ones. Pidge brings in two tens, three fives, and seven quarters. Keith adds about 5 dollars in loose change that he won’t admit to why he has.
Shiro didn’t have anything to add bc he spent the last year as a space prisoner, and Allura and Coran aren’t from earth and don’t use the same currency

It starts tame. Lance was bartering for a task to be worth a full ten. Keith pops up and says he’ll do it for five. Lance says fuck that, he’ll do it for four. Keith says $2.50, Lance says $2, Keith deliberates for a minute but says $1.25, Lance gets on his knees and begs to do it for $1. Keith surrenders the bid. Lance fistpumps and almost shouts about winning (who am I kidding. He definitely shouted) he sprints out of the room to do the task.
Keith high-fives Hunk. Hunk returns it, with a sense of foreboding
(Keith doesn’t really participate, except to bait Lance into doing a task cheap)

Shiro did not have any money to start. He rectifies this by quickly earning Hunks twenty and one of Pidge’s tens. Keith bribes him with three pounds of loose change for something else, something secret. He accepts the bribe. He now has $35. He spends it wisely. Responsibly. And definitely does not use the twenty to convince Lance to shut up for one 24 hour period. (He actually doesn’t! They decide that one dollar for one hour of silence is a perfectly acceptable wage. He buys 20 hours of silence. The other 4 are wasted to sleep. It’s kind of hilarious watching Lance try to charade his way through the day. After that, that’s usually what the twenty gets spent on)

Pidge does a fairly similar thing to Hunk, but quickly becomes known for being a ruthless haggler. She will get what she wants out of this five dollar bill or else. The Paladins fear her. But they obey.

Allura and Coran don’t really get it. But them not getting it has very different results. Allura simply does not participate
Coran… Thinks that Earth Money looks cool, and starts collecting it.
“Hey Coran, I’ll give you a ten if you do this task”
“Hmmm no, I already have one of those… Ooh! Do you have one of the small brown circular ones? I don’t have any of those yet!”
One day he gets ahold of the ever coveted twenty
That day is… Eventful.

All five Paladins crowd around Coran, offering to do anything for that twenty dollar bill. Literally anything.

Hunk breaks first, surprisingly.
This all started with a worthless ten dollar bill and a subtle prank on Lance. After all, earth money is worthless in space.

And now…

In some ass-backward way, his spending-money-because-what-the-hell-it’s-already-worthless has… Made a booming economy, right here in the castle.
A booming economy of about $75.38
Objectively, that total number is not enough to buy a robot. But here Pidge is, offering to build Coran a robot, not even for the seventy-five, but for one single twenty
The money was worthless, but now it is not because he started using it because it was worthless. Causality is confusing and terrifying. Hunk considers having that existential crisis. The money was worthless and now it is not, because he assigned it worth
He wanders off and flops down beside Allura. Her shoulders are shaking slightly. She is laughing.

He turns to the Paladins.
Keith is egging Lance on again, so far Lance has offered to not speak again for a week, no two weeks now. It seems Keith is aiming for one full month of silence.
Pidge is upping the numbers of promised bells and whistles for the bot. So far Hunk is starting to wonder, if Pidge even builds it, if it will replace Coran outright.
Shiro seems to have accepted that he will not win the twenty, so now he is managing the others offers: “no Pidge, the bot may not automatically fire death lasers, we don’t want any accidents. Make it manual control.” “Lance, three weeks of not saying anything at all is a bit excessive. Be reasonable, three weeks no speaking except from a word bank the rest of us choose of no more than 100 words (and except on missions)”
Meanwhile Coran doesn’t really care for a cool robot so much nor for Lance’s silence. He does rather like this “twenty dollar bill” though, because it completes his collection

Keith gets Lance to agree to one full month of silence, except for no more than 100 words from a word bank the others will decide on for $20.
Keith whips out a twenty dollar bill that he’d had in his back pocket all this time and slaps it into Lance’s hand.

Everyone loses their shit.

(Lance’s word bank includes a few useful words like “me,” “you,” everyone in the castle’s names, “space,” “fuck,” “please,” and “thanks” as well as a few out-there but useful ones, like “apologies,” “affirmative,” “negation,” “assemble,” “post,” “prior,” “cerulean,” “vermillion,” “chartreuse” “midnight,” “golden,” “rainbow,” (bc you know, lion colors) and the like. The rest were fairly nonsense, and a few of which were memes; “smorgasbord,” “brouhaha,” “Simba,” (actually, most names from the lion king) “Pepe,” “loss,” “Beyoncé,” and so on.
One memorable day (more like meme-orable day tbh) they got the quote “post smorgasbord, me, you [gesturing at all other paladins], assemble rainbow Simba. Fuck Space Voldemort’s vulnerability”
Translated roughly; “hey guys, after breakfast lets form Voltron and hit Zarkon where it hurts!”

They never do completely stop calling Voltron Rainbow Simba. Like you think it dies down, then suddenly it’s back, like it never left.
Also “yeah man! Fuck space Voldemort’s vulnerability!”)

It’s one of Keith’s favorite things he’s ever done

“<All I’m saying is think of how cool it would be,> Marco pleaded. <We morph racehorses ->

<I don’t think so, Marco,> Jake said.

<- then, using our human abilities we figure out if we think we can win, and the others put money down.>

<Not happening, Marco,> Rachel said.

<We start out betting whatever we have saved. Like I have about twenty dollar. But if we bet that at say, three-to-one odds, before you know it ->

<Marco, forget it, okay?> I said. <It wouldn’t be right.>

<- we’d have sixty dollars. Bet that at three-to-one odds you have a hundred and eighty. Then bet that and you have five forty! Then sixteen hundred twenty! Then four thousand eight hundred and sixty!>

<How is it you can multiply in your head like that?> Rachel asked. <You barely scrape by in your math classes.>

<It’s a whole different thing when you’re multiplying money,> Marco said. <A whole different thing.>”

- Book #14: The Unknown, pg. 102 (by K.A. Applegate)

Xie Huang Yu, Shanghai

Urban development continues at a record breaking pace here in Shanghai, and many of the old school mom & pop restaurants are closing up shop as their property is getting bought up by hotel and mall developers. Over the last 12 months since we moved here, I’ve seen two of my favorite noodle shops and two of my favorite dumpling makers shut their doors in Xintiandi. All on the same block! So the affordable, and authentic, lunch options near our office are dwindling. But yesterday, my friend Snowing told me about Xie Huang Yu, a local restaurant only a few blocks away that recently renovated and upgraded (and raised their prices) but still offers classic Shanghainese dishes without breaking the bank…

Xie Huang Yu is a cozy space where communal seating is encouraged. You must order at the counter before finding a table though, where a new picture-filled electronic menu board now offers English translations! Pay, take a number and find a seat. Your food arrives in about five minutes…

The deep-fried pork chop is one of the house specialties here and not to be missed…

Cost: 15 rmb or about $2.00 US.

The spicy pork over noodles was excellent…

Cost: 32 rmb or about $4.50 US.

Chinese cabbage fried in vinegar…

Cost: 18 rmb or about $2.50 US.

And one of Xie Huang Yu’s other house specialties, as they’re known for their seafood, crab and crab roe over noodles…

Cost: Their priciest dish at 58 rmb or about $8.50 US.

Sure, it’s not the two buck bowls of noodles we used to get a few months back, but a tasty local lunch for two like this for under twenty dollars I can still deal with.

Xie Huang Yu just became a weekly stop on my lunch circuit!


(Right next to The Brewer)

202 Taicang Road


anonymous asked:

I was wondering, if you don't mind me asking, is there a type of digital drawing tablet you could recommend? I'd really like to make some monster clothes, but trying to draw with a mouse, or scan in, doesn't seem to be working well. Thank you for your time!

I use a medium Wacom Intuos instead of a mouse for standard work – it was my main drawing tablet for years. When it dies, I’ll get another tablet but a non-name-brand one. All I need is something that doesn’t anger wrists.

For drawing… okay this is “build as affordable and what works for you” because I’ve steadily built up a system.

  • I use a Wacom Cintiq 13″ and I love it.
  • I detest the little easel thing that it comes with so I hooked it onto an Ergotron Computer Arm thing. If you’re watching a TV show from the early 2000s and they show a tech scene with a computer monitor being held by a thin mechanical arm? That’s what they are. You think “What this is going to be like twenty billion dollars” and they’re like $100-150
  • Now, some Cintiqs / tablets have a standard wall mount plate thing
    • Mine does not
    • So I bought an Ergotron laptop laptop tray and some 3M mounting things (like “Mount this and never remove it” hardcore velcro bits) and now it holds in place suspended in the air and its great
  • I use a drawing glove thing that ensures your hand doesn’t stick to the monitor (sweat etc). Cheap.
  • I have a foot tablet thing that I picked up recently. A computer foot rest thing that makes it easier to sit in a relaxed state and stay there.

My posture is bad, and I work a lot so anything that keeps my bones positioned in a way that is comfortable and supportive is put into the mix.

Something I’m learning the hard way because I Do Not Sports and I think if I ever Sported I’d know this by now (sotto voce / give me your secrets athletes):


I’ve recently spent a life changing $40 on two copper sleeve arm supports. At first I was very wary (”Copper has no proven properties to help”) but the copper is there to help sweat smells (?).

Arm. Muscle. Compression. Sleeves.

I wear one when drawing, two when packing orders (one on each arm).

It scrunches your muscles and feels mildly uncomfortable at first but once you get going and you’re like “oh wait I don’t feel like my arms are dying”





This is more than you’re after but I’m very passionate about reducing wear and tear and the ol’ ghoul machine.

anonymous asked:

How about modern headcanons for the guys? (from either or both shows)

I could probably go on and on with these so I’ll quit while i’m ahead. Maybe i’ll add more later :)

  • Winters’ favorite show is the Weather Channel. Just anything on the Weather Channel. He doesn’t even watch television usually; he just always has the weather on in the background. 
  • He is also a literal old man when it comes to catching up with technology. He hates computers and it took him years to upgrade from a flip phone. Eventually Nix gave him an old Iphone and begged him to give it a try. “If you don’t like it you can always go back to your old phone.” Winters kinda hates to admit that it is very convenient. Like, he can look at the weather ANYTIME ANYWHERE. Can you imagine?
  • He has zero social media apps or anything frivolous. The only things he uses the phone for are calls, the occasional text, the weather, a running/swimming fitness tracking app and an app that shows him all the hiking trails nearby.
  • He also texts in full sentences. Somehow, despite this, he is one of the fastest texters in the company. Nobody is really sure how he does it.
  • Nixon bought Dick a Fitbit for Christmas. Dick hates expensive gifts (like anything over twenty dollars) but Nix knew Dick would like it and he admittedly really does.
  • Nixon goes through about five phones a year. He cracks the screen, dives in a pool with them, spills half-full bottles of booze on them, or drops them in the toilet. Also one time he got mad and threw one out of a window and into the lake below. We don’t talk about it.
  • Sledgehammer didn’t feel ready to get another dog after Deacon died. But when Snafu shows up out of the blue at his door with a brown hairy blob with a pink tongue and wagging tail in his arms Sledge just can’t say no.
  • Snafu says its name is Flipper, or Flip for short. Sledge questions him about where he got it but he just shrugs and proceeds to raid Gene’s kitchen. Gene’s pretty sure he either stole him or found him in an alley.
  • Runner, Chuckler, Liebgott, Malarkey and Muck are huge nerds and have a pact to attend all major movie premieres together. Other guys often join, but they are the core five.  They are fist in line at the new Star Wars movies and Marvel movies. Also, Chuckler loved Batman vs. Superman entirely too much.  
  • Chuckler and Liebgott also have competing comic book collections. They didn’t mean for it to happen, it just kinda became a thing. It doesn’t help that the others, particularly Runner, eggs them on.
  • Webster meets up with Lt. Jones every so often to catch up and see how things are going.
  • Webb and Leckie work together as journalists. They can be seen getting coffee together and discussing their latest stories every morning (and also commiserating over their wacky friends).
  • Webster plays D&D. Liebgott finds out and starts making fun of him for it but then Webster convinces him to play a game and Lieb actually loves it. Eventually they form a group with Chuckler, Luz and Malarkey. Web is DM, Luz is a bard, Liebgott plays a barbarian, Malarkey is a ranger and Chuckler for some inexplicable reason is a dwarf warlock named Pokey. 
  • Speirs loves Cutthroat Kitchen and The Great British Back Off. The only people that know this are Lipton (unsurprisingly) and Muck. Speirs just outright told him one day and when Muck asked why, Speirs just looked him dead in the eye and whispered “No one will ever believe you.”
  • Buck coaches a youth football team in his time off. Luz is their #1 cheerleader and attends almost all of their matches. Martin shows up to referee.

Can I just say omnislash is the most ridiculous limit break sidequest in all of ff7
Like most of them are somewhat meaningful either to the story or to character story and then there’s omnislash
It’s just kind of there and you have to do a ridiculous battle gauntlet to get it
Not because of a rite of passage or anything like that
Just because
Like Yuffie gets her final limit from surpassing her father and conquering the wutai pagoda, being given his blessing to continue on her journey
Barret gets his final limit when he saves his old home town from literally being demolished by a train
Tifa gets her final limit break in the form of a note from her old master who saved her life and disappeared
Even Vincent gets his final limit after encountering the woman he loved that he thought was dead for years
And then there’s cloud
Who’s final limit break is literally being given out as a prize at a side attractions for an over glorified theme park
You know
The kind of prize you could probably buy for like… twenty dollars elsewhere
That’s clouds final limit break and it is absolutely ridiculous when put into perspective


Happy Phanniversary everyone, 6 years and counting

Thank you to Dan, Phil and the phandom for everything you have done for me over these years, lets keep making memories

Lyrics by @twentydollarblog
More of my phan art

anonymous asked:

Hahaha imagine patater and this prompt though "i did that annoying thing where i put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box and you’re getting really mad but you don’t know that the ring is in the smallest box and i can’t wait to see your face”

omg tater does this to propose because kent has literally screwed with him like this for christmas and his birthdays (once he put a new iphone in a shoebox and Tater was actually kind of disappointed he didn’t get shoes lol). But then after opening the third box in a row, Kent stops unwrapping and looks up.

Tater: ?? keep opening the box??
Kent: I don’t wanna
Tater (increasingly agitated, because the proposal is making him nervous as time drags on): Just open it
Kent: There’s going to be six or seven more boxes. And then it’s going to be like a corn chip in the very last box or something.
Tater: Kent, it’s not being a corn chip
Kent: I mean I like corn chip–
Tater: Open the goddamn box, Kenny.

Tater has a whole speech planned out, but he can barely remember the first sentence because Kent is taking his sweet ass time and asking him dumb questions like “Okay, but if it’s a corn chip, you owe me like twenty dollars” and “wait, do we have chips in the house, can we go to the store later–”

Tater’s taken to staring at the wall at this point as he waits, but Kent’s voice had abruptly stopped. He’s staring at the ring nestled in the smallest box like he wants to cry.

And all Tater could think to say, after a deafening silence of five full seconds, is, “Haha. I tell you not corn chip. I win–fuck. No. I having speech. I’m start over.”

(Afterwards, Kent literally tells everyone that Tater proposed with a corn chip and no one gets the joke. Tater gives up trying to explain and just pretends it never happened, because Kent’s wearing his ring and that was the end goal anyways.)

Summer (Taehyung x Reader)

Your summer consists of waitressing, Jungkook’s sass, and a certain hot surfer guy.

Inspired by this gifset and also by the lovely @theboyswhomwelove

comedy + fluff, 2.2k words, taehyung/reader, normalverse + surfer au

Waitressing at the beachside cafe just got better.

Sure, there’s always the decent pay, free ice cream, and a nice view of the beach, but now there’s also a nice view of hot guys. Hot surfer guys. The attractive pink-haired guy you’ve been ogling for the past hour or so does that celebrity hair flip, except it’s like a bajillion times hotter than when any celebrity does it. You’re about to fan yourself with a plate, but remember just in time that there’s still food on it. Close catch. You give yourself a mental pat on the back.

When you head to the back, Jungkook gives you a judgmental look as he wipes down a countertop. Although he’s typically at the register, he also takes on a bunch of the other jobs, being the son of the owner. Looks like he’s currently on some sort of cleaning duty.

“What?” you say, brushing past him.

“If you think you’re being subtle, you’re not,” he replies, tossing the rag to the side. He steps in front of the kitchen entrance, cornering you before you can make a run for it, or something.

“Subtle? About what?” Even after a good 7 years of friendship, understanding Jungkook is as hard as ever. He rolls his eyes.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe about staring off into the distance, probably at some hot guy,” he replies. “It’s really obvious. I saw you almost empty that jug of ice water on a kid like, two hours ago, because you were too distracted.”

Keep reading

tallster n townhull headcannons bc i just got back from a fair n im bored

-caleb really loves fair. like REALLY loves fairs he gets like a litle kid n goes on all the rides its sweet.
-ben probably likes it just as much as caleb bc they probably went to traveling fairs together when they were kids so it reminds of them The Good Times yanno
-caleb likes rides the faster the better n probably goes on them enough times to make a lesser man sick but ben probably prefers the chiller rides bc honestly ben does enough ridiculous stuff everyday lets make the fair the one place hes not constantly on the verge of death at
-abe probably goes on all the rides w caleb but likes the petting zoo the best because he is a Cabbage Nerd™
-rob likes the petting zoo also (mostly bc its abes favorite but shhhh dont tell anyone)
-rob is probably the person that brings water bottles n food n stuff bc fair food is ridiculously expensive and “its just water! why is it three dollars!!!!”
-everyone always ends up eating fair food bc a) it smells so good okay and b) they probably convince rob to be okay with it bc theyre “supporting small businesses okay!!!!”
-ben and caleb 100% share food because theyre That Couple™
-caleb gets ice cream on his nose n ben kisses it off and abe pretends to vomit behind them while rob giggles
-abe later steals a fry out of robs hand tho so????? hes no better n caleb forever makes fun of him for it
-ben and caleb probably get really mushy @ the fair bc theyre reminded of being kids n tbh theyre mushy all the time
-abe and rob wander off then bc u can only spend so long w people as ridiculously happy as ben n caleb without wanting to punch them both for being so in love
-ben and caleb eventually find abe giving rob a piggy back ride tho so honestly they cant talk
-they stay all day and definitely watch the pig races (look them up theyre real theyre great)
-(caleb may or may not win upwards of two hundred dollars from betting on pigs)
-(ben pretends not to notice)
-they go to that place with all the weird mirrors just to make fun of caleb being short
-it cost like twenty dollars but it was totally worth it
-okay so if u didnt know a lot of companies n organizations have booths at county fairs
-so they wander thru the stalls for a while (ben and caleb probably make out in front of the trump booth) (yes there are trump booths at fairs i saw one trust me)
-abe probably catcalls them n rob totally has to kiss him to shut him up theres no other way.
-calebs the kind of person wholl ask for a bite of ur cotton candy and crumple up a ton of it but when he sees a little kid crying bc they dropped their ice cream he gives them his bc caleb is sweet and like???? who wouldnt
-you know those carnival games? caleb and ben are probably great at them as expected bc theyre badass spies n all but rob is probably secretly amazing at them
-but like. lowkey. he doesnt do them bc like??? what would i do with a giant plush wolf im not a furry
-abe blows like $20 on them tho n them rob does it one shot
-“how did u do that?????????????
what like its hard?”
-(cue caleb collapsing into giggles and needing to lean on ben to keep from falling over)
-(caleb probably starts singing legally blonde to ben but then he needs to shut up bc he doesnt wanna offend abe “farmers-against-thespians” woodhull’s delicate sensibilities)
-they totally stay until dark and go on the ferris wheel once it lights up
-caleb sorta falls asleep on bens shoulder
-its sweet
-they still stay for the fireworks tho, bc caleb insists that hes not tired
-they sit on blankets rob brought to watch them
-abe puts his arms around rob n kisses him a lot (which is the most pda-y they get most times but rob doesnt really care bc like??? its the fair and its dark who cares)
-(plus abe looks really cute with the fireworks lighting up his eyes)
-meanwhile caleb and ben are either taking a nap on each other or theyve gone behind a tree to make out
-they make it back before the fireworks end so nobody notices but it totally happens
-ben probably carries caleb back to the car, not bc hes actually that tired but like??? would you pass up a chance to have Benjamin Tallmadge, The Official Cutest Person Alive™ carry you??????????
-i think not
-its only ten when they get back but everyones so tired that they just pass out
-they probably go to the fair the same time every year, For Old Times Sake™ and its always good bc like????? its the fair
-everything is good at the fair its like a bubble of happiness
-at least thats what caleb tells ben to try and convince him that yes, having a fair every day would be a great idea
-ben hits him with a pillow and they go to sleep
-abe probably wakes up the next morning with cotton candy in his hair and rob refused to kiss him until hes washed it out

Carry On Countdown~Dec. 17th

-It is about three of four days before Christmas, so Simon wants to make cookies with his two favorite people

-Penny, Simon, and Baz are all making Christmas cookies together

-Penny is in because she has nothing better to do (and Simon)

-Simon is in because COOKIES, AM I RIGHT OR?! (And Baz)

-And, Baz is in because of Simon (and cookies are okay so)

-So, Penny and Simon want to use the dough you get from the bags in stores (Simon: so he can eat them quicker, and Penny: so this can be over with) but Baz will not let them (he is disgusted that they even thought that)

-Baz wants to make it from scratch, and Simon whines that it will take too long (but after Baz gets really close to Simon, and grabs his chin softly while smirking Simon gives in). Penny just grunts in response

-Baz starts to get into this whole baking Christmas cookies thing by bringing out his own apron, putting his hair back into a bun, and running the small kitchen (and Simon is dying because Baz is so hot, and making cookies is pretty hard)

-When they finally get around to cutting them into shapes Baz actually cuts his with a knife, and refuses to use the cookie cutters Simon bought (“Aww, come on Baz I spent like twenty dollars on all of these”)

-But it is okay because Simon decides to use a knife to cut one of his cookies, so that Baz has to help him (Baz gets behind Simon wrapping his arms around Simon’s, and looping their fingers together so he can “show” Simon how to do it. Baz doesn’t even realize what is happening until Simon turns his head and kisses Baz’s cheek. Which of course causes Baz to blush and smile)

-Penny cuts out three angles, one bell, and a tree

-Simon cuts out four snowflakes, and has just enough dough to shape a rectangle

-Baz perfectly cuts out a descriptive Christmas tree, two detailed snowflakes, an angle, and a circle (to make an ornament)

-Flour is everywhere. It’s on the floor. It’s on the counters. It’s on Simon’s hands, and it even ends up in Baz’s hair and on his apron in hand marks?! (*wink* *wink*)

-When they finally get the first tray of cookies into the oven Penny goes to use the restroom. When she comes back Baz and Simon are making out with Simon sitting on the counter (legs wrapped around Baz). And, Baz has his hands settles on Simon’s hips and his hair has suspiciously been taken down (Simon can’t take not running his hands through Baz’s silky locks)

-Even though Baz has some fun with Simon he makes sure the cookies are baked to perfection (which of course they are)

-When it finally come around to icing their masterpieces they all stand next to each other to share the different colors of icing Simon bough (“Snow, why did you buy literally all the colors of the rainbow in icing?”)

-Simon keeps bumping Baz with his hip, because he knows how serious Baz is taking this and just wants to be funny (so, when Baz yells at Simon for doing it all he can do is laugh hysterically)

-Simon keeps annoying Baz to stop using all the colors for so long, but really he think it is just adorable how much time and effort Baz is spending on it

-Baz can’t help but gaze at Simon as he desperately tries to make his cookies look decent with the icing (he keeps clumping it up in one corner of the cookie). So, Baz decides to help Simon again like he did with cutting out his cookie.

-Simon decides to ice a pride flag onto the rectangular cookie, and he is so proud (don’t tell Baz, but Penny did help him a bit with it. But, it is okay because Baz saw Penny slyly hand it back to Simon after she fixed his mistakes). So, when he holds it up to show Baz he just has this huge smile on his face and Baz can’t resist but peck his lips and rest his forehead on Simon’s (because god Baz has the cutest boyfriend in the world)

-Penny learns that she actually is really good at creating little designs with the icing, and she really enjoys it. Baz is really proud of her (and of course after the fact they share tips and tricks)

-After all the Christmas cookies are iced and ready to eat Penny goes to get her camera (to capture their beautiful masterpieces). When she gets back she finds that Simon has begun to eat the red icing by its self; causing him to now have a red colored mouth, and now Baz suspiciously also has a red colored mouth (*wink* *wink*)

-Penny takes a cute picture of Simon and Baz holding up the pride flag cookie, as they smile at the camera (she also catches one where they are lovingly gazing at each other, but still holding up the cookie)

-Simon and Baz split the flag cookie (they offered some to Penny, but she said it was okay)

-Bonus points for after the fact when Penny goes to her room and Simon and Baz clean up together. Resulting in water being splashed at each other, soapy hands running up and down now damp clothing, and of course nothing getting done because Simon and Baz can’t keep their eyes or hands off each other.


terriblyc0ntagious  asked:

Hey 90s can you tell me a story from your childhood? I need some cheering up

i don’t think my dad ever loved my mom. like i wasn’t a planned, my parents had me when they were super young, and i guess they were forced to be together, but my dad stuck around. anyway, my mom died when i was 11, and that she killed herself. anyway, i don’t think my dad loved my mom. like his favorite movie was “Pretty In Pink” because its a movie about finding true love, and I remember him watching it and staring at Molly Ringwald really weird, and at the end of the film when Blaine tells Andie he loves her, and then she runs after him and they kiss, my dad would get really emotional and then he’d see me and get mad and make me do some stupid chore around the house, like blaming me for him never finding true love. Also, whenever the Pretty In Pink song, OMD - If You Leave, would come on he would mouth the lyrics to himself. 

After my mom died, my dad re-married, and I think he loved her a lot way more than he ever did my mom. Which was messed up. Or I don’t know. My dad loved me though, like he would buy me anything I ever wanted and he did a lot for me and made sure I was happy I guess, it was crazy, because one day I was randomly like, “Dad I really want to go to Disneyland.” and he was like “Ok son, we’ll go this weekend, just the two of us, father and son.” and it was that easy. So we lived in El Paso, Texas which is quite a way from Anaheim, California where Disneyland is located, but my dad took Friday off work, and said we’d drive there thursday night. Around 8 PM that thursday, my dad comes home, and he’s wearing an 8 Ball leather jacket and Hard Rock Cafe baseball cap and blue jeans, he looked really stupid, and he yells out “90s, get your ass out here! Are you packed? Lets fucking go.” and I was like “Yeah, but I’m hungry I want to have some chicken fingers before we leave.” and my dad was like “Just get in the fucking car.” and I was like “No, I want chicken fingers first.” and then my gives me the scariest look and he had the craziest look in his eyes like he was on drugs, and he said “I’ll buy you some food on the road, don’t defy me!” and I was like, “Fine, whatever, but where ever we go better have chicken fingers.” and I put on my mickey mouse hoodie, and went to my dads Black 1996 Chevrolet Corvette and before I get out I notice my dad frenching my step mom, Catherine, really hard, and I was like “Ewww, gross.” 

So anyway, my Dad put on The Wallflowers into the cd player, and I was like “This sucks, I want to listen to Green Day.” and my dad was like “Whatever.” and I put in the Green Day album Insomniac into the cd player. Then my dad speeds off really fast, like he was driving crazy fast, once we got to the freeway, i could swear we were going 100 MPH, and I was like “Dad, why are you driving so fast?” and he was all “We have to make good time.” and I was all “What about my chicken fingers?” and my dad was like “What is it with you and chicken fingers? Where the fuck can we get chicken fingers anyway? Can’t you just eat some McDonalds?” and I was like “Yeah they have chicken nuggets there, I prefer chicken fingers though, but we can go there.” and my dad was like “Chicken, whatever, chicken is chicken. Jeepers creepers. You’re just like your bitch mom.” So we get some chicken mcnuggets from a McDonalds drive thru and I’m eating them and listening to Green Day really loud and my dad is driving at like 100 MPH down the freeway. My dad drove super fast. Once we got into New Mexico, I swear we were driving at least 120 MPH.

I fell asleep in the backseat around 12 AM, but a few hours later I wake up to weird sniffing sounds, and the car is parked, and I hear my dad sniffing stuff, I think he was sniffing cocaine, and it was just super weird to see my dad doing drugs. Then I go back to sleep. I wake up at around 7 AM and we’re in California and pretty close to Disneyland and my dad is still awake and speeding the car down the freeway. And I was all “Dad!” and my dad was so coked out of his mind he didn’t even hear me until I hit him in the head, and he was like “What? What! What?!” and I was like “I need to go to the bathroom.” and he was like “Yeah yeah, sure, we’ll stop at Denny’s and get some breakfast.” so we find a Denny’s and I go to the bathroom and get some pancakes, and my dad didn’t eat anything he’s just reading the newspaper and talking to himself about how he hates Bill Clinton . 

A few hours later we get to Disneyland, and check into the Disneyland hotel and I’m so pumped. My dad was like “Ok champ we’re here, but I’m really sleepy, why dont you go to the park on your own.” and he gives me like $200 in twenty dollar bills, my ticket to Disneyland, and he falls asleep. And I was like “Whatever.” and leave our hotel room and take the hotel shuttle to Disneyland and had the best time of my life, like I was running around the entire park and going on every ride, and buying hecka souvenirs, like I bought mickey ears, a mickey sweater, and had mickey mouse shaped chicken nuggets, and I had like 3 things of cotton candy and I went on the star wars ride like 3 times in a row, and at night there was a rad parade down main street, the disney electrical parade, and there were vendors selling like glow sticks and glow necklaces and i bought like $40 worth of glow stuff and was dancing really hard to the parade music with my glow sticks. It was great. And I was hugging like every mascot in the park. I hugged Mickey, I hugged Minnie, I hugged Donald, and I hugged Goofy. 

So the park closes and I take the shuttle back to the hotel, but I forgot what room we were in so I go up to the hotel counter and I told them my dads name and they gave me the room, and I went there. So I get there and I knock really hard and theres no answer, I start kicking the door and I’m “Open the door! Open the door!” and I’m like roundhouse kicking the door for 2 mins. Finally the door opens, and a really sexy lady runs out, I go in, and the room is a mess, theres clothes everywhere and room service, and the beds are all unmade, and I see cocaine on a lil glass next to the tv, and my dad yells out “How was the park?” and I was like “It was rad as hell.” and my dad was like “Good.” and my dad is like naked underneath his blankets and hes like “Do me a favor, toss me my boxers.” and I was like “Eww..” and I did it, and he was like “You’re ok? I’m going to go out, and hit the city.” and I was like “Yeah I’m going to order some chicken fingers though.” and my dad was like getting dressed and he tries to hide how he’s putting the cocaine he has out back into his lil baggie. And then I turn on the TV and order “The Nutty Professor” on pay per view, and then pick up the phone and order some chicken fingers. and my dad is all getting ready and putting on cologne n stuff and hes like “Ok, I’ll be back, we’ll go to the park tomorrow. Do you need anything?” and I was all watching the movie and laughing really hard and I was like “What? No. Ok, bye”

at hot topic
  • cashier: and your total comes to $79.67
  • cashier: would you like anything else?
  • me: glances at the four twenty one pilots shirts i already have
  • me: i gotta feed my sons. they deserve my money.
  • cashier: oka-
  • me: just take it. take all of it.
  • cashier:
  • me: take my life savings goddamnit