like transtrender

  • 4 year old boy 2000: Look, Mommy! I'm wearing your shoes!
  • Mother: Oh you are so silly, honey! Let's take a picture to show Daddy later :)
  • 4 year old boy 2015: Look, Mommy! I'm wearing your shoes!
  • Mother with a tumblr account: OMG! You're obviously trans!!! Let's buy you nothing but dresses from now on! Please know that your genderless parental figure and I fully support you during this transition period! I'll start making plans for the surgery immediately!!!
Please assume my pronouns!

I love when people naturally call me he/him, it makes my day when people look at me and go “Yeah that’s a boy.” If someone calls me a girl, or she/her I can just correct them. I prefer the assumptions over me having to tell or explain. Seriously, just let me have this. I am not the only trans person who thinks like this.

yall ,,, i think im just nonbinary idk ive never rlly felt like a trans guy, ive never really felt connected to either gender at all and honestly trying to pass all the time is really tiring and only makes my dysphoria worse if that makes sense?? like i wanna be seen as neither but thats not rlly a thing in our society so i settle for trying to pass as male but even then i dont feel like i belong with males, cis or trans, and idk i guess im most comfy just being marshall and not having to deal with gender roles or expectations

but im already out as a trans guy to EVERYONE irl and i cant just go back on that bc everyone will be like grr ur a transtrender grr ur in a phase grr ur gender isnt valid rawr theres only 2 genders

AND I DONT WANT THAT SOOOOO ill just Suffer™

and i know lots of ftm guys look up to me n shit but like,,, im nothing like u guys. i call myself a boy bc its easiest but like ?? im rlly not either one and i dont connect to either one

the only thing abt me is that i relate to the way gay guys love each other so thats what makes me feel inclined to call myself a boy u feel me??

idk guys asdfjfjfgh i never rlly addressed this here bc i was confused abt everything and like im one of those ppl who changes their labels 800 million times so i just stopped using labels for a while

and honestly the only reason i started identifying as a trans guy was bc i was dating a trans guy who didnt believe in nonbinary genders and i was basically forced to come out as ftm when i wasnt ready to come out and didnt feel comfortable identifying that way sooo rip

but i realized the reason i dont fit into the trans community and i dont like being called trans is because id rather be called nonbinary LOL so

on the topic of pronouns, i like they/them but no one uses them for me irl so i dont really know how i feel about them i guess. ive gone by he/him for a long time now and im used to it and it doesnt feel wrong or anything so i guess ill keep going by both but if some of u could use they/them for me more often thatd be cool bc i have no one i know in person who uses them for me ;0;

idk i might change my mind again later idkidkidk im still thinking abt things but

i guess this is me Officially™ comin out 2 u guys as nonbinary ?? woop

I don’t like to throw -isms and -ists around willy-nilly, but sometimes I have to call things what they are.

If you ARE NOT gender dysphoric but you claim to be trans, you’re ableist. Gender Dysphoria is a real medical issue. It’s a mental issue and a physical issue. Now, when I say “issue,” I don’t mean that the people who are suffering with Dysphoria are broken or wrong; I just don’t want to call it a disease, because that implies transgendered people are sick because they’re trans, and I don’t feel that way. Yes, it’s an “illness,” but it isn’t a “sickness,” in the way that people used to think homosexuality was a sickness. It’s a disconnect between the body and the mind, and the sooner we can accept that sometimes the mind is right, and it’s okay to change the body (those who wish to) we’ll be better off as a society.

By claiming to be trans without Dysphoria, you are trivializing the obstacles transgendered people face. You’re turning a legitimate struggle into a fashion accessory. And when transtrenders scream “Down with cis!” and call for the deaths of cisgendered people, they are setting the Trans community back and giving ignorant people a reason to hate a community that- for the most part- just wants to be left in peace, accepted, and treated like everyone else.

People who are already bigoted against the LGBTQ community see and hear transtrenders spewing bile and feel justified in their hatred.

“Transgender” isn’t a label you can wear like a sweater and parade around in until it gets uncomfortable. It’s not a fancy car you can drive around in and ditch when the next model comes out. Stop treating it like it is.

When trans people make posts that are like “hey if you ever feel like you wanna be a boy/girl, you can be!” all of these cis people who inherently have no idea what it’s like to be trans (and occasionally transmedicalists who are just hugely misunderstanding the post) flock to it to yell about how “being trans isnt a choice you transtrenders!!!” but like……. That’s fundamentally missing the point of what those posts even mean.

For tons of trans people, you don’t figure out your identity by going “oh man I have such bad dysphoria, I must be trans!”  When you combine it with the internalized transphobia that all trans people deal with, dysphoria hardly ever manifests itself as immediately magically knowing that you’re trans, let alone even knowing you’re allowed to be trans.

For LOTS of questioning/potential trans folk, they’ll have a feeling that really is along the lines of “I wish I was a girl but I’m not” or “I wish I was a boy but I’m not” and what opens the door to them accepting their transness is… literally just accepting that it’s okay for them to be trans. For me, I had a feeling that fits the “born in the wrong body” narrative pretty closely, I basically felt like I was “meant” to be a boy and had somehow been “born wrong.” I would’ve said the same thing when I was a questioning trans kid - “I want to be a boy.” Not I am, because I didn’t know I could be.

Just learning that you’re allowed to be the gender you want to be can be the final thing needed to help a trans person figure out they’re trans. Because we aren’t told by society, by school, by the media, by our parents, or anywhere else that it’s okay for us to be transgender. We literally are not born into a world that tells us it’s okay to exist the way we are. So many trans people start off by saying, “I wish I was a different gender” because we don’t know it’s possible to say “I AM a different gender.”

This idea that you can’t WANT to be trans is so fucking harmful to questioning trans people and I want to kick every cis anti-sjw in the face who’s screencapped posts that say things like “hey if you wanna be a girl that’s okay you can be!” to make fun of it and call people fake/transtrenders. Fuck all of you for laughing at things you have absolutely no personal experience with.

anonymous asked:

(I honestly don't remember if I sent an ask like this a few weeks ago so I'm really sorry if I did) So I'm afab nb and since my dysphoria is normally like, too too bad and I'm not uncomfortable being called she/her and I identify with feminist issues I feel like I'm fake or "transtrending" or whatever and even though I wanna start using they/them idk if it's worth it cause I'm too apathetic to correct people and my parents don't really believe me too much anyway. 1/2

I think they believe me but they just want me to “stop moving so fast” in what I’m deciding about myself and I feel like maybe they’re right cause I’ve only really been questioning for about nine months. How can I tell if I’m really just faking or if I’m actually nb?? At this point it just feels like I have to be binary sometimes and that it’s just ridiculous for me to be another nonbinary afab teen learning about gender on tumblr who’s not 100% trans or whatever. Am I really just faking?? 2/2

Lee says:

If you feel like you’re non-binary and you identify as non-binary then you are non-binary, no matter what your parents say. 

Dysphoria isn’t a requirement to be trans; you could have no dysphoria or awful dysphoria and you’re still valid as a trans person.

Followers, anything to add?

I know a lot of anti-sjws and people who throw around terms like “special snowflake” as an insult really like to believe that nonbinary identities are some desperate grab for attention and uniqueness, the same way they think of having an unnatural hair color or a tattoo. To them, a non-cis identity is a pathetic vanity, an attempt at being interesting or oppressed. 

And that notion completely flies in the face of my actual worldview as a nonbinary person. I don’t think my gender is actually all that special or rare. I think if nonbinary gender identities were well known and socially acceptable, a huge percentage of people would resonate with them. Lots of cis people tell me they relate with my writing about being NB. Some of them end up not being cis, in the end. People have told me privately that they think they’re agender or fluid or nb, but that they don’t think their identity counts, or they can’t get away with openly identifying the way they feel, so they just pass. By being out, I know I’m not a unique or rare case. I’m out, in part, because I want people like me to not not be rare. 

I think even now, with all the social pressures pushing against it, a sizeable minority of cis people are actually nonbinary, agender, demigirl, or demiboy. There are definitely some cis people out there who are strongly identified with their assigned gender at birth, but I have encountered a lot of cis-passing or full-on cis-identified people who will admit, in private, that they don’t always feel like a man or a woman, that they feel alienated by those categories, or that they don’t even really know what those categories personally mean. These are people who are failed by the binary, too. These people might not make as big of a stink about their gender as I do, but they’re part of the trans/enby umbrella, on some level. And they sure as shit are not special snowflakes vying for attention. In fact, the fear of seeming like some transtrender crybaby etc is part of what keeps them in the closet. 

anonymous asked:

Is it okay to want to pass as male but be nonbinary? I don't want to go on testosterone ever but I want to look like a boy. I can call myself a boy but I can't ever imagine being a man. I feel like I'm jut "transtrending" or whatever cause I'm not binary and I still want to look like a boy, but only a boy not a man. Is it possible that I'm faking? My parents think it's because some of my friends are trans and that I spend too much time thinking about being queer. Is this true? Am I faking?

Kii says:

Nope, that’s a valid way to feel!

anonymous asked:

So you're against cross-dressing?

I literally never said that. I just find it frustrating that when a cisgender boy wears a dress/make up all of tumblr + the media are like “WOW WHAT A QUEEN SHOWING US THAT THIS STUFF ISNT JUST FOR GIRLS!! SLAY!!” But when a trans boy (aka me) wears a dress or make up all of tumblr + the media are like “oh look u transtrender you aren’t even trans because you’re wearing make up and it’s for girls :////”

Why is it always like

1. Be a transtrender
2. Start testosterone/estrogen
3. Realize maybe you were fucking wrong
4. Become a terf
5. Hate all actual transgender people