like transtrender

  • 4 year old boy 2000: Look, Mommy! I'm wearing your shoes!
  • Mother: Oh you are so silly, honey! Let's take a picture to show Daddy later :)
  • 4 year old boy 2015: Look, Mommy! I'm wearing your shoes!
  • Mother with a tumblr account: OMG! You're obviously trans!!! Let's buy you nothing but dresses from now on! Please know that your genderless parental figure and I fully support you during this transition period! I'll start making plans for the surgery immediately!!!

I don’t like to throw -isms and -ists around willy-nilly, but sometimes I have to call things what they are.

If you ARE NOT gender dysphoric but you claim to be trans, you’re ableist. Gender Dysphoria is a real medical issue. It’s a mental issue and a physical issue. Now, when I say “issue,” I don’t mean that the people who are suffering with Dysphoria are broken or wrong; I just don’t want to call it a disease, because that implies transgendered people are sick because they’re trans, and I don’t feel that way. Yes, it’s an “illness,” but it isn’t a “sickness,” in the way that people used to think homosexuality was a sickness. It’s a disconnect between the body and the mind, and the sooner we can accept that sometimes the mind is right, and it’s okay to change the body (those who wish to) we’ll be better off as a society.

By claiming to be trans without Dysphoria, you are trivializing the obstacles transgendered people face. You’re turning a legitimate struggle into a fashion accessory. And when transtrenders scream “Down with cis!” and call for the deaths of cisgendered people, they are setting the Trans community back and giving ignorant people a reason to hate a community that- for the most part- just wants to be left in peace, accepted, and treated like everyone else.

People who are already bigoted against the LGBTQ community see and hear transtrenders spewing bile and feel justified in their hatred.

“Transgender” isn’t a label you can wear like a sweater and parade around in until it gets uncomfortable. It’s not a fancy car you can drive around in and ditch when the next model comes out. Stop treating it like it is.

anonymous asked:

Okay so this's kinda urgent but don't go out of your way to answer this. I was just wondering what y'all's opinion on 'transtrenders' is? I've heard many different opinion and one of them I heard was that there's no such thing as that and I was curious as to the explanation to that. I'm genuinely curious, not trying to be rude or anything. Thanks!

Tobias says:

Now this is just my opinion, so don’t take it for the whole blog. We are a diverse group of people and we respect differing opinions. 

Personally, I do think that some transtrenders, or people pretending to be trans because it’s “trendy” exist. For example, somebody who comes out as trans or non binary, but experiences no disconnect between gender and body, and has no desire to transition socially or medically, and is pretending, on purpose, for pity points. HOWEVER, I think this is a much, much smaller percentage of trans and non binary folk than most people who talk about “transtrenders” think there is.

All that said, I do NOT think non-binary people are “transtrenders”. I believe in agender, genderqueer, bigender, all the genders that relate in some way to male or female, whether that is because they feel like a mix of male and female, or a little of both, or neither. All that makes sense to me, because if a person can be transgender male to female or female to male, why couldn’t their brain get stuck somewhere in the middle, and make them be both or neither or whatever?

I don’t think genders like “spacegender” or “plantgender” and the like are real, because that’s simply not what gender is. Gender relates to what you want your body to look like (kinda, but that’s a post for another time), and you can’t exactly want your body to look like space or a plant. 

However, I do not think we should just jump to assuming that someone who identifies as galaxygender or whatever is a transtrender trying to harm the community. If you actually look at the blogs of people who identify like this, they’re usually young teenagers, 14 or 15, not yet old enough or educated enough to understand why genders like those are genuinely not possible. They may be confused trans men or women who are hesitant to identify as the opposite binary gender, or they might be non binary people who conflate “voidgender” with agender or something like that. Or they might be cis people who got caught up in thinking that aesthetics are a gender and simply got confused. 

But I genuinely don’t think that any of these people are true “transtrenders”. I think they’re just people trying to figure out some things in life and getting confused. I don’t think people should use someone’s gender identity, however outlandish, and no matter whether you believe in it or not, to harass them or make fun of them. Giving them resources about trans things are one thing, but attacking someone because you don’t think their gender is real is something else. And it makes you many times worse than the harm you claim the “transtrenders” are doing. 

TL;DR, I think that transtrenders ARE real, but that they are willfully appropriating a medical condition, and reason can’t really appeal to them. I think young non binary and binary trans people can sometimes call themselves by an outlandish label that has nothing to do with gender, but I don’t think they should be called transtrenders or ridiculed for what is probably just an innocent and unintentional period of confusion in their life. To sum it up, I’d say that whether or not you believe in genders that don’t relate to male or female, and whatever your ideas about dysphoria and transitioning, just let people live. Sometimes they’re young, sometimes they’re uninformed, sometimes they may even be intentionally pretending for pity points. But ultimately, it’s not up to you to decide. If they’re genuinely confused, they’ll figure it out someday. And if they’re pretending, they’ll realize what a jerk move it was and grow up someday as well. Until then, just keep living your own life and try to make it the best you can. 


Jaz says:

I agree with what Tobias has to say. 


Max says: 

I agree with Toby, but I think that sometimes transphobic people will pretend to be trans to make a mockery of transgender people and shed a negative light on the community. I think this a thing that can happen. It’s not so much people wanting to be trans because it’s “cool”, but people pretending to be trans to make us seem ridiculous. 


Luke says:

I also agree with Tobias, but I think that the otherkin community is a more accurate place for people who identify with plants and galaxies and things, rather than the trans community, because of what he said about trans tending to be more body related. If it’s more about how you feel spiritually, it might be an otherkin thing. 


Hope this post helps, but remember it’s up to you to figure out your opinion on things; you don’t have to agree with us to follow us or to be a good person!

I know a lot of anti-sjws and people who throw around terms like “special snowflake” as an insult really like to believe that nonbinary identities are some desperate grab for attention and uniqueness, the same way they think of having an unnatural hair color or a tattoo. To them, a non-cis identity is a pathetic vanity, an attempt at being interesting or oppressed. 

And that notion completely flies in the face of my actual worldview as a nonbinary person. I don’t think my gender is actually all that special or rare. I think if nonbinary gender identities were well known and socially acceptable, a huge percentage of people would resonate with them. Lots of cis people tell me they relate with my writing about being NB. Some of them end up not being cis, in the end. People have told me privately that they think they’re agender or fluid or nb, but that they don’t think their identity counts, or they can’t get away with openly identifying the way they feel, so they just pass. By being out, I know I’m not a unique or rare case. I’m out, in part, because I want people like me to not not be rare. 

I think even now, with all the social pressures pushing against it, a sizeable minority of cis people are actually nonbinary, agender, demigirl, or demiboy. There are definitely some cis people out there who are strongly identified with their assigned gender at birth, but I have encountered a lot of cis-passing or full-on cis-identified people who will admit, in private, that they don’t always feel like a man or a woman, that they feel alienated by those categories, or that they don’t even really know what those categories personally mean. These are people who are failed by the binary, too. These people might not make as big of a stink about their gender as I do, but they’re part of the trans/enby umbrella, on some level. And they sure as shit are not special snowflakes vying for attention. In fact, the fear of seeming like some transtrender crybaby etc is part of what keeps them in the closet. 

When trans people make posts that are like “hey if you ever feel like you wanna be a boy/girl, you can be!” all of these cis people who inherently have no idea what it’s like to be trans (and occasionally transmedicalists who are just hugely misunderstanding the post) flock to it to yell about how “being trans isnt a choice you transtrenders!!!” but like……. That’s fundamentally missing the point of what those posts even mean.

For tons of trans people, you don’t figure out your identity by going “oh man I have such bad dysphoria, I must be trans!”  When you combine it with the internalized transphobia that all trans people deal with, dysphoria hardly ever manifests itself as immediately magically knowing that you’re trans, let alone even knowing you’re allowed to be trans.

For LOTS of questioning/potential trans folk, they’ll have a feeling that really is along the lines of “I wish I was a girl but I’m not” or “I wish I was a boy but I’m not” and what opens the door to them accepting their transness is… literally just accepting that it’s okay for them to be trans. For me, I had a feeling that fits the “born in the wrong body” narrative pretty closely, I basically felt like I was “meant” to be a boy and had somehow been “born wrong.” I would’ve said the same thing when I was a questioning trans kid - “I want to be a boy.” Not I am, because I didn’t know I could be.

Just learning that you’re allowed to be the gender you want to be can be the final thing needed to help a trans person figure out they’re trans. Because we aren’t told by society, by school, by the media, by our parents, or anywhere else that it’s okay for us to be transgender. We literally are not born into a world that tells us it’s okay to exist the way we are. So many trans people start off by saying, “I wish I was a different gender” because we don’t know it’s possible to say “I AM a different gender.”

This idea that you can’t WANT to be trans is so fucking harmful to questioning trans people and I want to kick every cis anti-sjw in the face who’s screencapped posts that say things like “hey if you wanna be a girl that’s okay you can be!” to make fun of it and call people fake/transtrenders. Fuck all of you for laughing at things you have absolutely no personal experience with.

Why is it always like

1. Be a transtrender
2. Start testosterone/estrogen
3. Realize maybe you were fucking wrong
4. Become a terf
5. Hate all actual transgender people

anonymous asked:

i have 2 questions. 1. Is it ok to be a transguy who doesnt want bottom surgery? like, when i was younger i was obsessed with getting it but now as im getting older and im on t i only want top surgery? i just think it'll be a painful waste of time... 2. so somedays i get vERY bad dysphoria (like i can barely get out of bed) and somedays i dont. is it bad to feel like a transtrender on the days i dont have very much dysphoria? thanks x

As far as I’m concerned, if you are transitioning to male and live as male, there is no reason why you wouldn’t be considered a trans guy. Even if you don’t want bottom surgery. 

A lot of people have an issue feeling like they are ‘faking’ the days when they don’t feel ok cause they don’t always feel dysphoric. It’s not really something to concern yourself with. 

Just remember that the way you feel now won’t always be how you feel later. Don’t put yourself in a box of “I’m a trans guy who doesn’t want bottom surgery” because that very well may change. 

chocolategf-deactivated20160911  asked:

so um. what exactly do u mean by "self identifying lesbians" lol 👀👀

Oh hey, it is one of the people who cares more about that part of the post than the sexism part.

Alright, sit down and i will explain it to ya.

There are these people called political lesbians who identify as lesbians but are just using it as an excuse to spread hatred of men.

There are also these people called transtrenders who like to assign themselves labels as some kind of badge of honor, even if they dont make sense, like someone not having a gender, but identifying as a lesbian (which at the very least requires that you identify as female). These people also tend to spread misandry.

And let us not forget the average lesbian who genuinly is a self identifying woman who identifies as a leabian. These too can be childish man haters and further a negative stereotype about homosexual women.

Now the expected response from activists and progressives would be to try and dispell this stereotype and tell other self identifying lesbians to stop. However, it seems that the childish actions of picking and choosing who is okay to hate has also infected self identifying lesbians on this website as well. So many that see no problem in perpetuating the same hatred and negative generalizations that they perceive that they receive from men. Hypocrites really. And unfortunately, at least on this website, it seems that there are fewer and fewer people identifying as lesbians who are willing to call out these regressive and sexist actions, such as yourself.

So yes, self identifying lesbians is a thing. It does not necessatily mean that someone is a real lesbian, but the problem of proud misandry is consistantly a problem in all groups.

Hope that helped. I know it isnt a bombardment of emoticons, but i trust the message came across just as well.

So last night i finally put my finger on what's truly been bothering me about the current discourse [SUBMIT]

And it’s the fact that it’s been a major trigger for my dysphoria, but because it’s been overtly directed at another part of my identity, it took me until just last night to put two and two together. And this is REALLY BAD, because it’s also what’s been making me reluctant to continue exploring my gender identity.

More simply put, the ace/sga discource has made lgbt+ spaces very toxic for people in my position, who are still figuring out their identity. Imagine if you will, being both a-spec and trans. But this is all you know about yourself so far. You’re not even sure if you’re binary or nonbinary yet. You don’t even know if you’re actually asexual or just sex averse with another identity. So you go to look up information and blogs to help yourself figure things out. And you’re met with two HUGE walls of negativity.

While you’ve been figuring out your identity, you’ve encountered the terms “genderqueer” or “genderquestioning” and you think, yes! this describes me right now! And you decide to use it until you figure out a more solid one. But right now, when you look those terms up, you get other NEGATIVE terms like “transtrender” and “faker”. And you know you’re not faking, and it’s not just because you’re following a trend, but this comes up EVERYWHERE you search for information about your own identity, and you realize that it doesn’t matter how YOU feel about yourself, there are going to be people who only see the gender assigned to you at birth and they will pounce on any opportunity to keep you out and away from resources you need on the grounds of helping the good, pure binary trans persons.

So fine, you set it aside for now, and move over to the a-spec identity and immediately the Disk Horse pops up, and everyone is talking about the cishet boogeyman. “OH but you’re totally ok if you trans or SGA : D : D : D"

Except… you’re not. but you’re not cis or straight either. You don’t know what you are yet and all the blogs that used to be helpful are either trying to keep you away or they’ve been over run with posts trying to validate you but not actually helping you along with figuring out your identity anymore. A lot of blogs have anon disabled because of all the confrontation, and you’re not comfortable asking potentially ignorant questions without anon.

And it starts to sink in. You: You’re the bad one here. You can’t say you’re SGA and you’re not comfortable calling yourself trans yet. You must be a cishet and faker. Stop taking other people’s resources and just go back to being miserable and confused. No one wants you here.

Except, that’s not true. All that matters is you know you’re not cisheteronormative. That should be enough to get you in the door to a safe space to learn about yourself and others. Some (relatively speaking) lucky people have a solid grasp of their own identity from a young age, and it never really changes. But other people, questioning people, they have to take baby steps to figuring it out. Saying “I’m a straight ace” might be the first step towards the next part of their identity. The “Cishet Ace” boogeyman, might actually be trans or gay or maybe they really are just ace and heteroromantic, and these things are all ok. The point is, they gravitate to lgbtqiap+ spaces because they can get answers there to questions heteronormative society cannot answer.

And believe me, saying “I’m straight and cisgendered, but asexual, and i don’t know what to do” in heteronormative spaces is not going to get you the help you need. I did that for years before figuring out I’m either transmasculine or androgyne (I still don’t know!), and all it got me was referals to sex specialists trying to “fix” my “fear of sex”, when that wasn’t the actual problem, and really just made everything WORSE. What DID help was going to lgbtqiap+ events and talking to other people there, and looking up information on gender identity and sexual orientations online.

I WEEP for the questioning kids these days, because the discourse has made what used to be a safe and welcoming environment a very hostile place where you can’t ask for help or answers without being measured up to some imaginary standard and chased away if you don’t fit some imaginary ideals.

When a stranger on the Internet thinks they know more about being trans than a trans person.
I asked their qualifications
“I don’t need a PhD in psychology to spot a transtrender”
Like
I’m sorry
Is my paralyzing dysphoria not good enough for you?
Do I not want to claw my skin off hard enough for you?

[ @cispeopletexting cause cisplaining ]

EDIT: CHANGED “NEAR CRIPPLING” TO A LESS ABLEISTIC TERM.

anonymous asked:

isn't it amazing when you try to voice your discomfort to a cis girl over her writing cuntboy fanfiction pretending it's transmen, and then just have your opinion shrugged off by a bunch of "non-binary" transtrenders who like having their genitals called "pussy" and other bullshit totally incompatible with actual transmen? and then you look like the asshole one, because you're not feeding the circle-jerk around said cis girl? just, amazing.

This made me feel sick.

cisphobia isnt real.

im not really sure if this is an unpopular opinion on tumblr, but it is just about everywhere else.

this shit above? no trans people say that. trans people dont just go around saying “die cis scum” and “my mom’s cis scum” all the time. cis people mocking trans people say that. and even when a trans person DOES say that, its not like theyre going to go kill every fucking cis person because they’re cis scum.

all trans people dont really hate all cis people, but there are some that do hate or distrust cis people because of their experiences with transphobia. get over it. you cant really blame them for being cautious,

a bit more on gender:

-truscum are assholes

-nonbinary genders do exist

-i dont care if you think theyre stupid, if you dont use the correct pronouns for a person you’re misgendering them. including “cutesy” pronouns.

-yes, cis people have pretended to be trans online, but christ stop accusing every trans person you dont like of being a transtrender.

-“cutesy” pronouns are legitimate

-being trans is not a mental disorder and you dont have to be diagnosed (same with any disorder)

-otherkin are seperate from the trans community. i dont hate otherkin, but theyre two entirely different things.

(im only tagging this as sexuality because there’s not a gender tag)

anonymous asked:

For pretty much the past 3 or so years I've wanted to be a guy, but I'm worried that this makes me a transtrender? Like I said it's only been a few years since I came to terms of who I want to be.

the term “transtrender” was made by transphobes who like to think that being cis is the default and that trans people aren’t “real”, or that trans people are all in the “i knew since i was 3 that i was different” category.

if you identify as trans, you’re trans. Next person who calls you a “transtrender”, destroy them.

~James