Now more than ever, trans men and women are more present in the media. You may think this is a good thing, and that’s great; you do you. But this post is a bit of an opinion rant as well as criticism.
It doesn’t help dysphoria to be reminded of your condition every time you turn on the TV– ESPECIALLY when neither the left nor right seem to know what the hell they’re talking about. There is so much misinformation on both sides that even positivity becomes negative.
For example, The Mick dealt with an (8? 10?) year old boy who liked to wear skirts and as a conclusion decided he was gender fluid. First of all, a kid that young hardly knows the differences between the sexes and sure as hell would not know if their undeveloped body is wrong yet. Secondly, you can’t assume any boy who puts on a skirt is a girl or “genderfluid” (which I won’t even get into right now.) I understand that it was at least partially a joke, and I did love their message about bathrooms. BUT they should’ve used an older character and distinguished between fluidity/nb people and trans people because they are not in the same category.
It’s pretty hypocritical for the same people who preach that gender roles are the devil to be the quickest to call a young boy who wears a skirt or a young girl with short hair trans. Isn’t that contributing to those evil gender roles you all hate so much while simultaneously making something that is not a choice seem like a game of dress up?
I went off on a tangent there, so I’ll go back to my main point. The media should not be forcing some PC agenda on itself to accommodate to people without realizing what they’re saying. You shouldn’t need to follow political correctness. All you need is basic human decency and a semi-open mind and you’re pretty much good to go.
Nowadays, in hopes of achieving PC, the media talks about us as if we’re all one hyper liberal being. Not all trans people are comfortable with something we were born to be being called an identity. Some love to embrace it as a part of their identity. We’re not all on the far left, we don’t all agree on definitions, we don’t all believe in more than two genders or spectrums. We’re not hive minded. We’re individuals with individual situations, beliefs, morals, and opinions just like every other human being on this planet. Hell, some trans people would probably set this blog on fire if they could but that doesn’t make them or I any less of the men and women we are.
(On a personal level, I am incredibly stressed by this topic being talked about so frequently and so incorrectly represented on the news that I could burst. I like memes. It’d be nice to look at them without 200 ones that attack people like us because they’re misinformed and unwilling to learn or accept. I normally am rather thick skinned, but this topic hits a sore spot.)
(Loosely related, I am a moderate left-winged libertarian. That’s just to clear up any confusion since the far left is mentioned a lot. This blog is against extremes on every side of the political spectrum.)
When trans people make posts that are like “hey if you ever feel like you wanna be a boy/girl, you can be!” all of these cis people who inherently have no idea what it’s like to be trans (and occasionally transmedicalists who are just hugely misunderstanding the post) flock to it to yell about how “being trans isnt a choice you transtrenders!!!” but like……. That’s fundamentally missing the point of what those posts even mean.
For tons of trans people, you don’t figure out your identity by going “oh man I have such bad dysphoria, I must be trans!” When you combine it with the internalized transphobia that all trans people deal with, dysphoria hardly ever manifests itself as immediately magically knowing that you’re trans, let alone even knowing you’re allowed to be trans.
For LOTS of questioning/potential trans folk, they’ll have a feeling that really is along the lines of “I wish I was a girl but I’m not” or “I wish I was a boy but I’m not” and what opens the door to them accepting their transness is… literally just accepting that it’s okay for them to be trans. For me, I had a feeling that fits the “born in the wrong body” narrative pretty closely, I basically felt like I was “meant” to be a boy and had somehow been “born wrong.” I would’ve said the same thing when I was a questioning trans kid - “I want to be a boy.” Not I am, because I didn’t know I could be.
Just learning that you’re allowed to be the gender you want to be can be the final thing needed to help a trans person figure out they’re trans. Because we aren’t told by society, by school, by the media, by our parents, or anywhere else that it’s okay for us to be transgender. We literally are not born into a world that tells us it’s okay to exist the way we are. So many trans people start off by saying, “I wish I was a different gender” because we don’t know it’s possible to say “I AM a different gender.”
This idea that you can’t WANT to be trans is so fucking harmful to questioning trans people and I want to kick every cis anti-sjw in the face who’s screencapped posts that say things like “hey if you wanna be a girl that’s okay you can be!” to make fun of it and call people fake/transtrenders. Fuck all of you for laughing at things you have absolutely no personal experience with.
When a stranger on the Internet thinks they know more about being trans than a trans person.
I asked their qualifications
“I don’t need a PhD in psychology to spot a transtrender”
Is my paralyzing dysphoria not good enough for you?
Do I not want to claw my skin off hard enough for you?