like think of others first before yourself

anonymous asked:

Hello!! This may be a weird question but I too am heavily interested in birds but unlike you, I cannot draw them as well. :,^( If it's not too much work (if it is just ignore this, i don't mind), do you know of any good references or sources to learn more about birds from facts to anatomy? I know this is a pretty wide range so again, I totally understand if you can't! I just thought it was worth an ask. Thank you so much!!

i don’t really have any specific reference places but here’s some things i do. 

 drawing birds is arguably one of the hardest animals because of their feathers. unlike fat and fur that folds to the body in a way that’s usually readable to whats underneath, feathers sort of create a ‘bubble’ around the body which makes a lot of body parts indistinguishable to where one ends and another begins. so its important to always think in terms of skeletal anatomy:

birds are dinosaurs and therefore reptiles. looking at birds this way, it’s a lot easier to see their evolution.

with that in mind, say we wanna draw this dude. owls are pretty tough because their outward appearances are so deceiving.

we’ve got a neutral pose, feathers are generously surrounding most of the body so its no sweat, we don’t really know whats going on. but we can hide it. but now we want to make him move and look cool. without really knowing whats going on we might get stuck on something like this:

its always kind of stiff and frustratingly unrealistic. mostly this is because we just don’t have enough knowledge of the skeletal structure to work with. eyeballing anatomy on our first drawing might get something like the left, more than anything people aren’t generous enough with leginess of birds:

 owls do indeed have regular proportioned necks with the rest of their bodies. and their skulls are like that of any other stereotypical raptor under their mask of feathers (minus their freaky eye sockets and ears)) they can open their mouths wide just like a hawk or eagle can. it’s important to remember that birds with large wingspans do not magically lose their length when hidden. they are just conveniently folded in against their bodies.

knowing this we can try again. suddenly things seem to click in place more and have a believable-ness to them.

the rule of thumb for most birds is they have less body mass and more leg/neck than one thinks. they are lanky dinosaurs.

when we are looking at this:

we are seeing this:

with that rule, drawing birds becomes a lot less confusing. with practice you might just eyeball their feathered appearances but if not, going back to skeletal/muscle structure gives the base you need to draw convincing birds.

when it comes to specific body parts, the most challenging part for me personally have always been feet. birds with super twiggy feet are easier because one line per toe is easy to get away with. but when you get to birds with meatier feet, especially raptors, it gets difficult. my way of getting around this is to think of the actual ‘feet’ last. drawing each separate toe first gets confusing because you just find yourself trying to get them to each fit evenly together at the base of the foot. one always seems kind of skinnier or fatter than the others in my experiences, and by the time you correct it the gesture gets muddled and lost.

so i just skip that part until later, i draw talon first.

perhaps this is very unorthodox, but just like artists might square in the hands first on a human before working out the arms, i square in the talons to know where i want them before worrying how they go on exactly.

that way we have a clear gesture captured, and in my experience it is much more readable.

thats’ really all i can think of now in terms of my techniques, i hope this helps :V

before all of this ends tomorrow (or, today, depending on your timezone), i just want to let y’all know that

i know this fandom brought about a lot of hate. i know it brought about a lot of bitterness, and stubbornness, and rivalries, and it was never perfect, not for a second. nothing ever is, though. so that’s not surprising.

but it also brought about friendships, and love, and happiness. it brought us closer to people we never would have met without it. we found common ground with people all around the world that live differently, think differently. we all related to different characters throughout the seasons. we all have the ones we care for the most. we all have the ones we see ourselves in the most.

and it taught us so many lessons. like, put yourself first before trying to please others. and be strong when the world wants to put you down and wants to turn against you. and friendships should be healthy and supportive and you should surround yourself with people who care about you, who bring out the best in you, who will help you in your time of need. and prejudices are the villain in any story, that you can be more than one thing at once. that if you look past them, you can find the best thing that’s ever happened in your life; you can find happiness.

so take all of that with you when this ends. and stick to the friends you’ve made. this season taught me how to love and how to open my mind and how to better attempt to love myself. and i met some incredible people who were touched by this show just the same, people i want to hold on to for as long as i can.

this show brought about amazing content, full of creativity and talent and love and i’m just so happy i got to be a part of that for whatever time i was allowed to be.

so take what eskild told us all: we’re going to take care of each other. this fandom is far, far from perfect, angered me and others SO much for such a long time, but we’re a part of it, and it’s a part of us, and i just want to thank those who made this experience what it was for me. from the bottom of my heart. and i want to thank it especially, because no other show has meant so much to me like this one. and it’ll always, always be close to my heart. ❤️


The gif just murdered me. That is all

- Let’s say it was your final year at Hogwarts, and the school slag, Sirius Black began to flirt with you coming up to the Yule Ball.

- So many awful pick up lines & one liners. You believing you were another one of his week flings, so starting to ignore the dark haired Gryffindor.

- Politely declining when he first asks you to the Ball, almost certain he would use you for a week and dump you like he had so many others. It wasn’t that he was a bad person, he just fell for people so easily- you thinking you had been his target this week.

- Let’s say you were also a Gryffindor, and you happened to be in the common room studying contently by yourself, cramming before the final tests of the season. 

- Sirius openly admitting to everyone within earshot of you how whipped he was for you, and how bloody beautiful he thought you were, and how he only wished you would accompany him to the Yule Ball, you raising your eyebrows at him curiously.

- After the fifth or sixth time, realising he wasn’t going to quit, you agreed to go with him if it shut him up.

- “Do you want to go to Hogsmede this weekend together?”

- Going into Hogsmede with Sirius and getting a few drinks in one of the little pubs. Getting a little bit tipsy together, leading to sloppy, open mouthed kisses which you may have regretted the next day, when all of Sirius’ friends wolf whistled at you when you had walked down the common room stairs.

- Him profusely apologising, promising it won’t happen again or so help him he’ll feed them to the giant squid.

- Having a slight tiny maybe crush on Sirius, making the lead up to the ball that much more exciting.

- On the night, walking down into the common room where girls were fixing their earrings and make up, while the boys were running around fixing their ties, everyone chatting excitingly.

- Spotting Sirius waiting for you, chatting to James Potter and Lily Evans.

- He might have been talking to James, then spotting you at the top of the stairs, staring at you open mouthed, his eyes widening a bit. 

- James patting him on the back, leaving you two to it.

- A couple of other people had turned their heads to stare at you in awe.


- Honestly don’t imagine Sirius who had actually put an effort into taming his hair and maintaining his stubble, all to try to impress you.

- “(Y/N). Sirius offered you his arm, leading you to the ballroom, chatting about little things on the way there. 

- A couple of guys making some provocative comments towards you, making you cringe. Sirius would not hesitate to pull out his wand, hexing them into next week.

- “No one talks about my girl like that.” Sirius growled.

- “Your girl?” You were smirking.

- Sirius taking your hand and looking at you seriously for a second. “Well I was going to wait until later tonight but now’s a good a time as any.”

- “You’re proposing to me aren’t you?” You had a dead serious look on your face, making Sirius throw his head back in laughter. 

- “Kind of. I was hoping you would be my girlfriend.” 

- Maybe you said yes because of how well he looked tonight and how he was so protective of you, but maybe it was because deep down you had liked him all along.

- When the ball started, Sirius would make a solid effort in trying to be interested in dancing. You pulled him close through one of the songs so you could whisper in his ear.

- “Let’s get out of here.” 

- Taking his hand, leading him back to the common room, telling him to wait outside. Grabbing a few blankets and a bottle of firewhiskey you kept in your dorm, Sirius smirking when he sees the bottle.

- Leading him towards the astronomy tower, both reminiscing and exchanging stories of Christmas and shennanigans through out the year.

- Things start to get dark really quickly, passing the bottle back and forth between you two, the both of you wrapped in blankets. Your head was resting against his chest, one of his arms slinged around you when he begins to tell you about his abusive family- quickly highlighting how he’s okay now living with the Potter’s when he notices your face fall.

- Looking up at him, becoming mesmerised in his dark eyes.

- Briefly remembering told not to trust long haired tall boys with dark eyes who break the rules because there’s a 99% chance they will break your fucking heart.

- Not giving a fuck.

- Moving to stradle his lap, crashing your lips onto his anyway, his strong arms snaking around your waist, pulling you closer to him, the taste of whiskey on his lips, and his cologne clouding your senses.

- Running your fingers through his hair, thinking how you could get used to this.


Dean x Reader

Summary: Your title of “Dean’s girlfriend” isn’t as secure as you thought.

Warnings: Smidge of angst and fluff, little bit of cursing.

A/N: Here’s some flangst everyone. Let me know if you guys like this flangsty style of writing :)

Originally posted by frozen-delight

What you and Dean had was…unconventional at best.

You started out as friends who had met on a vamp hunt in North Carolina, but that didn’t last long. Before you knew it, you were tangled in the sheets with your best friend.

He was intoxicating and addictive, and you found that this arrangement would continue for the next couple months, not that you were complaining.

And then you felt it- the swell in your chest when you saw him, the flushed cheeks, the shaking hands. 

You were falling in love with a man incapable of love. 

So you did what you do best- you pushed him away. Weeks passed before Dean confronted you; it was pouring bucket loads in the small, grungy hotel room parking lot. You couldn’t help but spill your feelings at the moment like the rain spilling on the concrete, and you braced yourself for the impending rejection.

But, you didn’t predict Dean dipping you back in his arms and molding his lips with yours with every ounce of passion in his body, the raindrops seeming to sizzle on your warm cheeks.

A couple days later, he took you on your first “real” date at the fanciest restaurant in the small town you were currently staying in. You didn’t mind that the “fanciest restaurant” was a crappy diner off the highway, for you held the title of Dean Winchester’s girlfriend at last.

The next few weeks flew by quickly in a blur of soft kisses and gentle hand holding. Everything, for once in your entire life, was falling correctly into place. That is, until one night.

You had heard a lot about Sam Winchester; he was tall, dark, and handsome just like his brother with a soft heart and the best puppy dog eyes. When you first met him, however, it was a complete surprise.

After Dean and Sam had greeted each other, Sam’s eyes grazed curiously over you. Before you can introduce yourself, Dean takes the liberty of doing so himself.

“Um, Sammy, this is Y/N… old hunting partner”, he stammers out, roughly ripping his hand out of your grasp. Your heart shatters and your hands shake. It feels like someone has stuffed cotton in your ears as the noise of the two brothers becomes muffled.

How stupid could you be to love a man incapable of love? You think to yourself bitterly as you bolt to your car parked nearby. You ignore Dean’s obvious pleas and rapid footsteps behind you as you drive off to God knows where.

You drive until your heart stops pounding and your hands stop shaking. You’re tempted to get on the interstate and get the hell out of the small town, but you remember practically all your belongings are back at the hotel with him.

By the time you get back to the motel, it’s around 4 AM. Your hopes that Dean was either asleep or not there were squashed when you saw the faint glow of the lamp through the curtained windows.

Your trembling fingers sit on the door handle as you lean your head against the door. In and out, you promise yourself.

“Are you stupid, Dean?” 

Sam’s gruff voice stills your movements.

“You don’t think I know that already, Sammy?” Dean’s voice is strangled and rough, as if he was holding back tears. You can hear heavy footsteps pace the room-one of Dean’s nervous habits. 

“Do… do you love her?” Sam’s voice, much gentler now, asks. Dean’s footsteps slow and eventually stop.

Dean takes a deep breath as the bed creaks when he sits down. “Of course. I’m just not the best at showing it sometimes.” 

Sam pipes in with a humorous “Obviously”, before presumably being punched in the arm.

Both of their eyes move to the door as you slowly push it open. Dean’s immediately on his feet, taking long strides to you. His strong arms wrap around you and his lips immediately find your temple. “I was worried about you”, he mumbles in your hair, his hands rubbing your back soothingly. 

When he finally looks in your eyes and sees the tears, he drops to his knees and holds your hands. “God, I’m such an idiot”, he mumbles mostly to himself. His large hands stretch up to wipe away the tears falling down your cheeks. “I’m sorry”, Dean chokes out, his own eyes filling with tears.

Your shaking hands gently pull him up so you can wrap your arms around his neck. “It’s okay”, you mumble in his ear.

The two of you happily stand at the entrance of the motel room, swaying to an un-played melody until Sam awkwardly clears his throat.

“Oh, right”, Dean chuckles, taking your hand in his and pulling you toward his brother.

“Y/N, this is my brother, Sam. Sam, this is the love of my life, Y/N.”

Dean Tag List~ @prob8850 @skybinx-blog @torn-and-frayed @its-my-perky-nipples @trinityjadec@poemwriter98 @assbutt-jones-at-law @kalifosterxx @jensensjaredsandmishaslover @deanscherrypie @deandoesthingstome @kittenofdoomage @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog@supernatural-jackles @donnaintx @aprofoundbondwithdean @umaakomton @danamarie2123-blog @mogaruke @kickasscas67 @sandlee44@infatuatedniall @wildfirekhaleesi @fairytalesexistxx @imnotalosechester @bananakid42 @jxackles @queenindecisive @tom-is-in-my-tardis@27bmm

The Only Exception (Part 3)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,523

Warnings: language, fluff, wishful thinking, hot firemen, sarcasm, cynicism, bad jokes, drinking, sad story retelling (mentions of death and loss)

A/N: Moving right along…and yes, I used a Keep Reading line. Also, shout out to @redgillan for making my day brighter.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

Originally posted by kittyseb

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Genre: Fluff / Humor (??) / Romance / Very slight smut 

Word Count: 5,065

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Request: Can you do a fic of having Jungkook (my bias oh muh gosh) as your neighbor and you having to stay at his house while your parents are away??

“We’ll be gone for awhile and I think it would be best if you stayed with Jungkook while we’re gone! You guys are the same age, he’s only a couple months older. I think it would be really nice.”

Masterlist ♥︎


A/n: This is really long omg w o w. I hope this is what you wanted ^-^. Thank you for the request ❗️😊♥️ I’ve actually always wanted to make a fic like this lol. jungkook feels are too real. I did sort of a new style of writing (?) kind of, idk, you guys can tell me if you like it. sorry about the ending lol. sorry not sorry for thAT SINFUL GIF.  

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anonymous asked:

so, we know malek likes dallas. but, is it the same compared to previous partners his had? like, the same intensity, the same feeling? or is it sometjing completely different?

Man, to be honest Malek is just so full of love, he’s loved all his partners from before. But with Dallas, it’s a little Different, because it starts with pity.

In the beginning, Like waaaaaay before. I mentioned, Malek was asked by their Geometry professor to tutor Dallas at Math. Dallas was the first to have a Crush on Malek, and Malek always sorta Suspected, but then his girlfriend at the time, Ellen Weir, would tease him, like, Don’t flatter yourself, Margo’s clinging to you because he doesn’t have any other friends, and Malek would always feel a little guilty because he’d turn down Dallas when Dallas was all, Hey, u wanna hang out later? 

and he’ll think about Dallas and how his face would fall Just A Little when Malek says he’s busy.

Dallas was Not Malek’s type. Like, Malek liked those kind of people where it’d take One Look before you know they’re really good-looking. Conventional attractiveness. Dallas isn’t Conventionally Attractive! He had big, tired owl eyes, a broken nose, and his head always sagged on his shoulder, like his chest was too heavy for his spine to hold up. When Ellen pointed out that Dallas had no friends, Malek’s heart felt really heavy, and once he takes Ellen home, he’s like, he up and RAN to Dallas’ house, and he sees Dallas playing with his dogs, and Malek’s heart did a funny little thump, he’s never been so endeared?? Over some guy who’s only friends are, apparently, large dogs.

The smile on Dallas’ face when he sees Malek, is like, the same expression a puppy would make like!! !!! friend????? !!! Friend!!!!!!!!!


  • Sorted in alphabetical order by ship, then by title
  • Ratings: G - general, T - teen, M - mature, E - explicit, NR - not rated
  • See ‘read also’ at the end of selected recs for more fic recs by the same author
  • This is always being updated - please share with me your favourites!
  • Most importantly, be supportive: leave kudos and comments everywhere you can!

BOKUAKA [Bokuto/Akaashi]

Among Us (verse, M) by dgalerab - I will personally advocate for this fic series until I die - I didn’t think I’d even like an X-Men AU but the dynamic and characterisation and character development and drama is just? too good to ever put down?? Whenever I share it with other people I advise them to read at least the first three chapters before passing judgement and I don’t yet think anyone has actually turned away from it after doing so. read also: e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g by dgalerab, starting with Notes: Bokuto Koutarou (G)

arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to (oneshot, G) by earlgrey_milktea - Character study and the consequence of familial expectations. Hooo boy, this was the first BokuAka fic I ever read and it still hits hard. So, so well done.

better than spy films (oneshot, G) by dalyeau - Akaashi is Kuroo’s new roommate and Bokuto falls in love. …Yes I know it’s not much of a rec when all of dalyau’s fics are some of the most popular BokuAka fics on AO3 but~ they’re exactly that for a reason and I’ll forevermore adore the heck out of them. read also: love in the time of wifi (G), tea-stained polaroids (G)

bitter (twoshot, G) by silvercistern - Valentines/White Day fic. The fact that these two chapters were posted on the corresponding days make them all the more sweeter– or… not sweeter? Good bitter? (And yes, the countdown to White Day was agonising purely because I couldn’t wait for this update and it was so, so worth it.) A headcanon I could 100% believe in Akaashi and, of course, no-one would pick up on something like that faster than Bokuto Koutarou. Super quirky, completely adorable. read also: Character Development (T)

full hearts and flower emojis (multi, G) by lagatos - Akaashi discovers that his garden has a serial flower thief every morning. Featuring my favourite trope - KuroAka being best friends and roommates - and dialogue that had me smiling for daaaaays. I can’t even do it justice in words but, if you’re craving something light and cute as heck, this is your fic.

Keep reading

when he gets drunk and he starts confessing;; jung hoseok / 979

When Seokjin had requested for you to take one for the team to get Jung Hoseok off the dance floor, you made your request very clear that he owes you big time. It made no sense how it wasn’t your mess to begin with but suddenly is just because Hoseok couldn’t stop calling for you. You thought it was funny, hearing Jimin describe it before he lost his hyung and shoved the phone to Seokjin to explain how Hoseok went from using the glass as a receiver, to his own hand, to getting on his feet to find a phone he conveniently has in his pocket.

So that brings you to a place where the bass is too damned loud for anyone’s ears (or hearts) and your mind starting to go insane if you don’t find Hoseok quick enough. He knows just how much you hate events or functions like these because age must be wanting you to have peace and quiet but here you are and he better appreciate it now where is he?!

You can barely think straight as you make your way through the dance floor and surprise not surprise, once you reach the middle you see a familiar silhouette taking lead in moving their body fluidly, blending to the music as one but it doesn’t last for long when - “I swear on your ass, Hobi. We need to get out of here,”

One, you know he doesn’t recognise it’s you, especially not with clouded eyes blinded by alcohol. Two, he still gives into you by allowing you to pull him from the spotlight and that brings you to three. When he processes he’s being taken away from what’s taking his whole damned mind from the thoughts that he constantly overthinks and suffocates with, he retaliates. 

“I wanna dance some more!” He whines, his tone taking up a notch because when he wants something, he wants something (more so when he’s drunk). “Let m-me get back out there!”

But you’re not having any of his bullshit.

“One more dance and you’ll be on the floor,”

“Down on the floor? Y-”hiccup”-ou want me to get down? I’ll get down!”

“Jung Hoseok, we’re getting out of here,” You make no room for him to disagree when you’re hauling him out before he can find his voice or words. He has no choice but to follow when you have his arm over your shoulder and it’s funny how he still doesn’t catch on who it is just yet. It’s a couple of steps down the sidewalk until the cool breeze meets his skin and - “Y/N…?”

“Yeah, hi,” You snort, heaving his arm over you so you can take part of his weight to make it easier to head back, “I see you’ve finally realized who’s walking you, huh?”

“How did you get here…?” He murmurs, yet he doesn’t have a problem with it. Well, he better not because if he has been calling for you nonstop and suddenly has a problem with you getting him home, drunk or not, you’ll beat his ass.

The walk home was… energy consuming but you’re not complaining. Hoseok seems to comply when you ask him to walk up the stairs and it’s not much of a struggle when he quiets down the moment he reaches his apartment. When you unlock the door and nudge for him to go in, he pulls you with him just as you close the grill.

He drags you to the sofa, in contrast how you were leading him and now as he lays down in comfort, he leaves you no choice when he asks: “C-Could you touch me?”

Your eyes are blown wide because - “Woah, okay, that’s not how you-”r voice is lost in your confusion when Hoseok grabs onto your hand and places it on his head, going the opposite direction your assumptions went and you’re partially grateful he won’t remember this (or at least you hope) because - “Please…?”

Sighing, you decide to use your leg to drag a stool over and sit so you’d have proper leverage to start stroking his head. It’s slow and it’s an irregular pace but it’s all Hoseok will take when he smiles the moment you’re willing to do what he wants. Looking at him from this position, he cranes his neck up to keep his eyes on you but you’re tilting his chin down.

“Get some rest, Hobi. You’re going to hate yourself in the morning,”

At first, he seems to hum in reply and hold onto your other hand as he closes his eyes. Before he drifts off into slumber he asks a question that stops your heart - and hand.

“Even if I hate myself, will you still like me like I like you?”

Gaping, Hoseok opens his eyes and you don’t realize you’re holding your breath to squeak out a shaky y-you like me?

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

This could go down both ways.

Psych, what were you thinking?

Or… or…

“I like you so much I feel like I’m about to lose my mind because this all feels like a dream. And when I wake up, it’s gonna suck so bad because you’re not even here…”

“…I don’t think it’s going to suck in the way you think because your hangover will show you who’s boss,”


“Why don’t you find out tomorrow morning, Hobi?”

“…okay, Y/N.”

((”what the fuck…”

“told you your hangover would show you whose boss,”

“yeah well-y/n? how are you - why are you - oh my god, last night i… did i say anything?”

“well, you did say you could still dance more on the dance floor,”


“and that you like me,”




“would it make it better if i said i like you as much as you like me?”

“…wait, what?”))

a love letter to brown eyes | shawn mendes

requested by anonymous

word count: 1,539

author’s note: bet y’all weren’t expecting this on a monday, huh? i hope this is okay, anon! I’m sorry it’s pretty much all dialogue.

Your name: submit What is this?

There were not many secrets between you and Shawn. He knew about the time you threw up in front of your entire second-grade class during a field trip, you found out about all the drama with his friends from school, and you had shared - in length - the most awkward highlights of your terrible first kiss behind the bleachers in middle school.

And somehow, even after all the confessions and conversations a two-year relationship entailed, you were still discovering new sides to the floppy-haired boy that first shyly approached you at a mutual friend’s party two years ago.

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From the Dining Table, Pt. 1 (Ethan)

Summary: Before moving out of the home you once shared with your fame hungry ex-boyfriend, you sit down to write him a letter, explaining to him why you left and where to find you if he ever comes to look for you.

Word Count: 2,352

Warnings: None

Author’s Note: This idea hit me in the middle of the night while listening to Harry Styles’ new album, specifically the last song entitled “From the Dining Table.” I highly recommend you listen to the song while reading this imagine for the full effect. I also apologize in advance if I make anyone feel things; writing this had me feeling all the things. I might turn this into a mini-series if it gets enough love, so please enjoy! Requests are open!

“I honestly never thought this day would come, Mom.” You grab the last of the pictures of you and your ex-boyfriend sitting on the dresser and throw them into a cardboard box in the entrance of the bedroom. “I’m moving out of the house I shared with the person I thought I was going to marry, and he doesn’t even know I’m leaving. Do you hear how twisted that sounds?”

Your mom places the rest of your t-shirts into the open suitcase on the floor. “Honey, you can’t predict the future. You didn’t know he was going to turn out to be this way.”

“We’ve been friends since we were in diapers, Mom. Nothing about him or the way he was raised would have indicated that this would have happened. He used to just be a goofy kid with a camera… What happened?”

She stands up to zip the suitcase. “I don’t know, but you’ve been turning that over in your head for God knows how long now. Haven’t you tortured yourself enough?”

“Hasn’t he tortured me enough?”

The both of you sigh and your stomach begins to twist. You pick up the cardboard box and a couple of tote bags laying around, following your mom as she drags the suitcase out into the dining room, the wheels echoing through the nearly empty house as they click on the wooden floor.

“Y/N, fame changes people. I just hope for his own good that one day he realizes what he truly lost… Okay, do we have everything?”

You shift from one foot to the other, trying to subdue the pain in your abdomen that’s only growing. “Yeah, I think so. My clothes are all packed, the electricity will be shut off by the city tonight, my pictures are all put away, and we loaded all the furniture into the truck yesterday.”

“All, except the table,” she notes.

“Yeah, that’s not mine. I’m leaving it for…” you trail off as you glance at the surface, remembering the notebook and pens you packed in one of your totes.

“Hey Mom, why don’t you take the rest of this stuff? I’ll be outside in a second, I just have something I want to do, first.”

“Okay, but don’t take too long. I want to ride the daylight out as much as possible. You know I have a hard time driving at night.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

Your mom takes the box from you before pushing it and the suitcase out the door. She shuts it behind her while you pull your stationary out from one of the bags, setting it on the table. You take off the cap of your pen, breathing deeply before pressing it to the paper:

 I don’t want to be angry with you anymore, Ethan, but I am. I’m so god damn angry.

I want to live my life and not think about you or hear your laugh everywhere I go. I want to look in the mirror and see my face again instead of yours. I regret cutting all my hair off just so I could look like you. I wish I had the power to delete our song off of my phone. I wish I wasn’t slumped over the dining room table, crying while I was writing this.

You’re so selfish that it makes me sick. The very first night I met you, I didn’t know I’d grow up to consider you my best friend. I never expected to become this attached to you. But, fast forward to the day you left me: when you walked out the door, you took the oxygen from my lungs.

You’re just a set of bones and a beating heart. How did you mess me up so bad?

I was such a fool to think you’d adhere to your resolution to live as normal of a life as possible. You used to know that life has so much more to offer than posting moody pictures on Instagram and hoping it gets over 500,000 likes or ignoring the people who built you up because it makes you feel powerful. What you’ve become absolutely disgusts me, and the worst part of it all is that you don’t even know what the time apart has done to me. I never got to celebrate your birthday with you, something that was a dream of ours to do together. I couldn’t give you Christmas presents this year. I couldn’t sit with you and your family while they grilled hot dogs in your back yard on the Fourth of July. I couldn’t do any of this because you only think of yourself anymore. It’s like you’ve completely forgotten about me.

Right before your departure, you told me you’d come back for me. You said you would text and call whenever you could until we would see each other again in person. I got your first text soon after, and for a while it felt like we were never apart; it felt like the oxygen in my lungs was restored. You’d call me after every show and every promotional event, so excited and in awe that you couldn’t wait to tell me about everything that happened. As time went on though, with the more people you met and the higher you climbed up the ladder, the texts became fewer and farther in between. My phone rang less often until it stopped ringing all together. You didn’t text me anymore. I had to learn about everything you were doing through friends and social media. I can’t count the number of voicemails I left you, afraid that I smothered you and apologizing for being the reason you pushed me away. I know now that it had absolutely nothing to do with me, but I can’t help but hope that one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry, too. It never happens, though. You never do.

You friends tell me that this is normal, that getting through the separation anxiety is the worst part. But, let me ask you this: Was it normal for me to curl up in the fetal position in the middle of the hallway after you walked out of the door? Was it normal for me not to sleep a wink after you were gone? I would scream into the dark of night, begging for you to come back. I would pray for you, and you know how I feel about religion. Praying was something you did before every meal and every night before bedtime. I would watch you clasp your hands together and close your eyes while your lips gracefully moved to form silent requests of peace, grace, and mercy. Do you remember when you asked me about religion? I pressed my lips into a hard line, squeezing my hands together so tightly that I lost feeling within seconds. I did it though, I got down on my knees by my bedside hoping that you would be able to hear me through whatever kind of higher power you believed in. It turns out I was wrong.

Let me tell you that if God does exist, He’s a vulture. He’s completely unfair. The kind of lives He had in store for both of us was cruel and downright disgusting; He chose me for endless suffering and He chose you to poison the lives of everyone you meet. So much for being a good guy, huh?

The worst part of all of this is the fact that despite my anger and resentment towards your addiction to fame and how you chose it over me, you’ve taught me more than I could have ever imagined. It makes me sad, but one of those lessons is the fact that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t be fixed. This is something that no one ever tells you when you’re young; it never fails to surprise me when I look around and see people close to me breaking one by one. I should probably get it in my head. I saw it happen to you and then I felt it happen to me. I did almost everything to try and heal the resulting pain, including hurting myself in ungodly disturbing ways. I didn’t, however sleep with strangers and then leave them in the cold like the tabloids said you did.

But, see, even if I did such an ugly, terrible thing, those people would never fill this hole. I’m always going to want you. I’m always going to choose you.

I hate myself for that. I hate that I can be so angry and so vicious toward what you’ve become, but at the end of the night I lay in bed knowing I’m always going to be waiting for you. I can lie to myself all I want about it and yet I still find myself walking around every day thinking about how different circumstances would be if you were by my side at any particular moment. I tell myself to avoid everything that reminds me of you; instead I expose myself to those things even more because I don’t know how to live without the hole in my chest anymore. I can easily say I’ve failed at attempting to get over you and I don’t want to make any more attempts. The only way I can carry you with me now is by carrying the pain of you not being with me. The pain has been there for two years, five months, three weeks, and two days. This is the only way I know how to live now.

But, above all else, the one thing I desperately need you to know is that even before my anger, pity, and resentment, if you ever end up calling me again, even if it’s at 4 AM and you’re too sad to say a word, I won’t yell at you about how much of my life you’ve consumed. Rather, I will intently listen to your silence until you’re able to fall asleep again. If you need to cry, I won’t wipe away your tears because we’re only human and sometimes tears are the closest we can get to laughter and that’s okay. If you need to yell so ferociously that your voice gives out and your knees fail you, I’ll be there to hold you up and I’ll yell with you to make you feel less alone. If you get so angry that you punch your hands raw, I will ice your knuckles and gently remind you that wounds do eventually heal, both inside and out, just like the way harsh winters give way to warm springs. I will be your warm spring again, and I will do all of this because I love you unconditionally, even when you spite me and drive me insane. Sometimes I think I’d be better off dead than putting up with everything that comes with you, and I hate the fact that I don’t hate you. I just love you. My love is over, underneath, inside, and in between all the struggles that we have faced.

Now, I’m begging you, Ethan. If you ever decide to come look for me, I’ve left California; I can’t live in a place that feels so artificial anymore. I’m going back to the beginning, the place where you and I planted our roots, where we ran around in the sprinklers in the summer and made snow angels in the winter, where we tossed our high school graduation caps in the air and took weekend trips driving into the city. I’m going back to the place where I can find myself again. If you ever decide to come look for me, I’ll be waiting for you there.

Wiping the tears from your eyes, you fold the piece of paper down in thirds before placing it in an envelope and sloppily addressing it with an “E”. A horn honks outside, cueing you to grab the last of your bags and place the letter in the middle of the table. As you approach the front door, you turn around to take in the empty house one last time. All of the memories you and Ethan shared together here begin to dance in front of your eyes and you sigh to yourself, grateful that they’re going to stay with you for the rest of your life, but heartbroken you have to leave this behind. Finally, you step out onto the front porch and lock the door behind you.

“Alright, I’m good. I’ve got everything,” you grunt as you climb into the passenger seat of the moving van, tossing the bags behind you.

Your mom reaches over from the driver’s side to place her hand on your cheek. “You are such a brave girl. I am so proud of you for starting to let go.”

You close your eyes and place a hand on her wrist. “Thanks, Mom. Can we please go now, though, before I get too sentimental? I don’t want to cry anymore. My lungs already hurt too much.”

The both of you let go of each other to click your seat belts in place, and as your mom pulls the truck out of the neighborhood and onto the highway, you roll the windows down and turn on the radio. After several minutes of humming along to the music and getting lost in your own thoughts, your mom’s voice startles you.

“Do you think he’ll ever come back?”

You shift in your seat, unsure how to answer. “It’s been over two years, Mom.”

“What if he decides to come back to the house and you’re not there?”

“He has a key. He can get in.”

“But you won’t be there.”

You pause for a moment. “No, I won’t be. But I have a feeling that if he ever comes across what I left for him, he’ll know exactly where to find me.”

“And where’s that?”

You glance out the window, the vast, California landscape speeding by you as you head for the state line. The two of you have a long drive ahead of you back to the East Coast, almost 2,800 miles.

“Home. I told him to come home.”

Fighting the Thunder

Summary: You are part of the Avengers and have recently gone through a breakup with Bucky. In attempts to cheer you up, Natasha suggests a night out, which doesn’t turn out exactly how you expected.

Pairings: Eventual Dean x Reader, Past Bucky x Reader, Natasha Romanoff x Bruce Banner [mentioned] 

Warnings: reader has the ability to control the weather [atmokinesis], language, drinking, angst

A/N: I am slowly trying to get back into writing, this series is pretty haywire and is very different to my usual stuff, including the fact it’s a spn x marvel crossover. 

As always, feedback is adored!

    ☀ ☁ ☀ ☁ ☀ ☁ ☀ ☁ ☀ ☁ ☀ ☁ ☀ ☁ ☀ ☁ ☀ ☁ ☀ ☁ ☀ ☁ ☀ ☁ ☀ ☁ ☀ ☁  

“I don’t think this is the best idea,” you fidgeted in the tight fitting jeans you were wearing, sitting in the passenger seat of the car as Natasha drove down the road, just passing the sign for Sioux Falls.

Nat raised an eyebrow at you before putting her attention back on the road. “Look, we both deserve a night out and you need to forget about Barnes,” she stated, matter of factly.

You let out a short sigh. “He lives in the same building as us, remember? Besides, we’re friends now,” gazing out the window as you spoke, trying not to think about the breakup with Bucky before cursing under your breath as the light rain starting hitting the windows.  

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Unintentional Chapter Five: Almost

Chapter Summary: You finally start to get what you want with Jensen, until there’s an interruption. You turn to Misha for comfort.

A/N: Get ready to feel things.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: language, oral (female receiving), smut, cheating (just like every other chapter)

Word Count: 2.2k


Originally posted by iwriteaboutdean

“Can we at least talk about this first?”

You sighed before pushing yourself up and off of Jensen and rolling onto the bed.

“Fine. Let’s talk.” you said as you pulled the covers up over you and getting comfortable; you wouldn’t be leaving this room until you slept with Jensen.


You scooted up against the headboard and waited for Jensen to say something. You didn’t want to talk about it. You didn’t think this was something that people talked about. But that’s what he wanted to do.

“Okay,” Jensen started, “Let’s put this in perspective.”

He moved and scooted up to the headboard next to you. You made eye contact with him as he continued.

“Worst case scenario. We sleep together, everyone finds out-” he took a deep breath before continuing- “my marriage goes down the drain, and both of our reputations are ruined.”

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I just finished high school, so I thought I would share some little things that I’ve learned over the past four years and help you to know what to expect! I’ll tell you all about:

  • How to get a good GPA
  • How To take notes
  • Good study habits
  • What supplies you really need
  • How to handle the first day of school
  • How to make friends
  • Dealing with stress
  • Time management 
  • Getting your life together
  • The things nobody tells you 
  • + a ton more, so keep on reading!

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I get very……nervous when people say they’re jealous of me because I’ve had people straight up hate me for it even when I thought we were friends and it breaks my heart cause there’s literally…..nothing anybody should be jealous of cause I’m just…. some anxious idiot who draws lame pictures….Im thankful for what I have but I’m also still so critical and hateful towards my own stuff….and everyone is so talented like…look at yourself and see your worth…you’re all wonderful and so very talented…😰😰

Also…before you get angrily jealous of someone first think…about how hard they must have worked to get where they are now…don’t devalue that……support each other, inspire one another…especially in this industry where we could all use good words and advice. Be proud of your fellow artists, be proud of yourself. 😔❤️❤️

In Your Head- Part 5

Jughead Jones x Reader

Reader: Y/N

Brother: Y/B/N

Word Count: 1,601

Summary: You are almost 3 months into a relationship with Jughead Jones. You are going through a tough time being too much in your head as the anniversary of “that night” comes closer. Jughead can sense something is wrong.

Warnings: Features sexual content, as well as a rape flashback and parental abuse. Please don’t read if easily triggered.

….“but now I want to show you”.

Jughead looked into your eyes and while he could see that you meant every word, he took a breath for himself. “Maybe we should talk about this first? We haven’t really before…”

You leaned back on the bed and laid next to him. You thought for a moment. He was right, if you were going to do this, you should talk about any other feelings you have. In the same instance of these thoughts, you also couldn’t stop yourself from thinking that maybe he just didn’t want you. “No one will ever love someone like you” - your eyes were closed - and all you could hear were those words in your mother’s voice.

You finally looked back at Jughead, who once again had a look of loving concern in his eyes. “Yeah I guess your right”. You looked away from his eyes and just focused on holding his hand, “I guess, I mean, do you want to with me?”

He pulled your chin having your face looking into his eyes and giving you a reassuring smile, “Of course I do Y/N. I love you”. He paused to kiss you again. “I just want to make sure what this means for us”.

You smiled, feeling better about your thoughts. You hadn’t asked him anything like this next question. “Okay. Well have you ever? Before I mean…”

He gave a laugh, thinking you already knew that answer. “Y/N. You have been all of my firsts so far”.

You were a little surprised. How could anyone else not notice this amazing guy before you?

You smiled. “Sorry, I guess I just wasn’t sure. I mean you’re kind of perfect you know?” 

He gave a soft laugh again. “Yeah well, I don’t think many girls find the name Jughead too attractive….” 

“Perfect for me then”. You smiled again bringing him in to kiss again. His hands moved to your hips, and after your gentle kiss he looked nervous. 

Looking down back to your body, he chalked up his courage to ask you next. “Have you? I mean not what with happened last year….”, he lost his words a bit, “I mean I know that doesn’t….” 

You smiled, now bringing his face to yours. “No, I’ve never made love to anyone before”. You took a pause again, mustering up some courage while knowing what you wanted to say. “So….I love you, you love me, and we both want to do this…is there anything else?” 

“Yeah….”, he hesitated and then bit his lip before saying, “You’re not still drunk right?”. 

You laughed again, “No, no. I am very sure I want this with you. I trust you, don’t worry”. 

 “Okay, but I need you to do something for me…”. He looked back in your eyes grasping the sides of your face with both hands, “If I am hurting you or you feel uncomfortable in ANY way, you have to tell me. Okay? The last thing I’d want….” 

You cut him off, “I promise I will but I’m not worried. A little nervous maybe….but I love you”. 

He smiled again before bringing you in for a heavy kiss. His mouth on your bottom lip, turning into a deeper kiss, his tongue snuck in while moving his hands to your hips. You moved your hands to his neck, moving your body closer to his. Your hands went upwards to his head and you slid off his beanie and started to play with his raven hair. He made a slight groan and paused at the end of this kiss, looking at your body up and down while taking a deep breath. “Stay here for a second, I have to get something…” He kissed you on your forehead before making sure with his eyes that you were going to stay on the bed before hurrying to the door. 

You took a breath to yourself, looking up at the ceiling. You had someone that loved you and cared about you in a way unlike any other. You decided to take the rest of your hair down, which took a little bit as it felt that Kevin had used a hundred bobby pins in your hair. All the while just thinking of how much you loved this guy, this amazing guy that you lucked into. You couldn’t get the smile off your face and you looked up after hearing the door move again. Jughead closed and locked it while coming back to the bed. “Thank goodness for Archie’s room…”, he joked while putting a condom on the nightstand next to the bed. He sat back down next you, you got up slightly. 

 “Come here”. You grabbed a side of his face while bringing him back to your lips again. You kissed him hard and deep, starting slow while moving the pace of your mouth a little faster. His hands moved to your hips again, as he paused from kissing, he looked down staring at your shirt. You gave him a smile and a slight nod and he began to move his hand up it. His hand made it to a cup of your bra and he gave a slight sigh while now kissing your neck. You moved your body on top of his, straddling his hips with your thighs. You lifted the cropped shirt off, tossed it to the side of the room and began to remove your bra while he never left his eyes off of yours. You slid off the straps and tossed the dark bra to the middle of the room and he began to look down. “You’re so beautiful”, he said as his eyes went back to your lips. He once again moved his hands up from your hips and started to caress your left breast. He groaned slightly while bringing your body closer to his, towards the pillow. You began to kiss his neck while your body began to warm all over, you started to grab his hips, your body in-twined with his. 

You began to lift his shirt up, until he paused, lifting his body up a little to help you get it off. With his shirt now off, he began to kiss you all over, starting with your neck. He paused right before his mouth got to your breasts and then dived in. With his mouth on you, you knew you had never felt anything like this feeling. His hands went back up to your neck and his mouth trailed up your body back to your lips. In that moment, you were all his.

You both laid there, under the covers, panting in what was the feeling of ecstasy. You looked back to him, your hands over his chest while looking back up at his face. His brow had a little sweat, but his large smile is what you were focused on. You were still breathing heavily getting the words out, “W-well?” 

“That was…”, he was still catching his breath as well, “amazing”. He brought your lips back to him and smiled while parting them. “I love you Y/N. So much.”

Again, still smiling to him, “I love you too”. 

“How do you feel?”, he was checking in on your emotions again. 

“Different. A little light headed…”, you gave a smirk, “but great. You?” 

“That was the best physical feeling of my life”, his words were honest but the way he spat them out he laughed a little after. You giggled back. 

He thought for second, “also hungry…” 

“When are you not?”. You laughed together before you grabbed one of his flannels from the floor and began to button it. You grabbed your pj bottoms out of your bag. He was watching you every slight second you moved, “what are you doing?” He asked, still with a smile on his face. 

“Making us something to eat of course”. You smiled back. 

“Give me a little bit and I’ll be down there with you, okay?”. He stood up and leaned in for a kiss and grabbed his boxers as well as his beanie before heading towards the bathroom. The smile never left your face as you headed towards the kitchen. You didn’t think this feeling of love would ever end. 

You opened the fridge and grabbed some eggs, then went to the pantry and found some pancake mix. Jughead was walking down the stairs, wearing just his boxers and beanie, walking over to you. The smile was still stuck on his face as well. He came behind you, as you were now mixing eggs in a bowl, and kissed your neck while giving you a slight hug. 

“Can I help?” 

Eyeing the pan next to you, “Yeah put that one on the burner”, and while giving it to him you gave him a peck back. You looked up to the side of the kitchen and saw the clock. It was a little after 2am. You were a little surprised it wasn’t later, as it felt like a very long day. You started in on the pancake mix while Jughead got another pan out. 

At the same instance, you heard the front door open. You both lifted your heads and were welcomed by Archie. He looked at the both of you and smiled. “Heh, well your guys’ night definitely turned around…” He gave a slight eyebrow raise with the statement. 

“Errr well…yeah”, Jughead was messing with the hair under his beanie out of nervousness. You yourself were practically red. You stared back at Jughead, knowing that pancakes wasn’t going to be the end of your night.

anonymous asked:

I saw one of your tags say that you're not sure Sam would be ok with Destiel and I'm curious why. Do you think it'd be like the Benny situation again or something else? I didn't ship Denny but I don't think Sam likes when someone else comes before him in Dean's eyes. (I can't see Sam not liking Desitle as a homophobic thing, but ya never know.) Anyway I'm genuinely curious because I could see Sam not exactly like a shipper but ultimately ok with it.

Hi! I have to say, I’m always torn when I hear about people reading my tags, because on the one hand I’m vain and prideful and they’re written to be read, but on the other, tagging is like talking to yourself, so - *blushes slightly*.

Anyway, first things first - before I discovered what a fandom was, I was a total sucker for shipper!Sam. My doubts didn’t begin until after I’d read a shitload of fanfiction about it, and something really rotten in my brain was like, What if Sam wasn’t okay with it, though? because I always like to be contrary and to turn things on their heads and see how they work and if they still work. So I’ve got no real problems with shipper!Sam. It’s just - I sometimes wonder - generally when I’m writing myself - what would be more interesting from a narrative point of view - if it’d be better to have Sam in the background, hanging up mistletoe and leaving The letter of the day is B leaflets around the Bunker or if it’d be easier for Dean to have something to push against. I think a case could be made either way - but if TPTB would have wanted to go down that first road, they probably wouldn’t have killed off Charlie, since she would have been (and she probably was) an even better shipper and wingman than Sam.

That said, I have two arguments against shipper!Sam.

One: Sam is way more messed up than he lets on, and some part of it is terrified not only that Dean will walk away, but that Dean will fall in love with someone and actually pursue that. I know I’ve seen this discussion go down somewhere, but I honestly don’t remember who first came up with this - apologies, guys - the fact that Sam is an all or nothing kind of guy. Like, when he went to Stanford, that was it - he never contacted John, or even Dean, again. For years. And the same happened when he was with Amelia - he just - I don’t know, cut himself off? I’m not sure if it’s his personality, or a by-product of his less than ideal childhood, but Sam’s got trouble to let people into his life, and once they’re in, it’s like there isn’t room for anyone else? Which is a childish trait, of course, and it signals a lack of emotional maturity on his part (not surprising - poor Sammy). And since Sam tends to relate with other people through his own experiences, part of him surely assumes Dean’s exactly the same; that if Dean found himself a new best friend, or a better hunting partner, or even a spouse of some kind, he’d just walk away and that would be it. So in this sense, Sam would feel threatened by any relationship Dean could potentially develop, not only by Cas.

Two, we used to see Sam as the shades of grey brother, but the amazing thing about this show is that Sam and Dean went through a lot of character development resulting in them almost swapping the roles they had in the first seasons - and yet all this feels natural and completely believable. So these days, Dean’s more likely to be the one who gives monsters a pass (hell, look at his relationship with Crowley), while Sam’s become sort of judgemental and what needs must. I think it was Ruby, most of all, who scarred Sam from the inside out and made him so much more conservative, or pragmatic (like, look at him now - he’s more willing than Dean to work with the BMoL, because he’s Mr Head Choice or something). Sam took a huge risk in liking and trusting Ruby, and it all hinged on a sort of anti-racism argument - an I don’t care if she’s a demon, because even demons can be nice and Our biology doesn’t determine our destiny and whatever else. Dean had shut him down about this, of course, but Sam had persisted - and I know there were other elements at play here, but to me, the central point was exactly this: a pigheaded and generous and noble willingness to trust a creature you don’t understand at all and you’ve got no reason to trust. Now, of course things are different with Cas, because Cas has proven, time and again, that Dean’s safety would be his number one priority and all that, but I’m still not convinced Sam would actively want that for Dean. After all, Sam’s seen this other, softer side of Dean’s - he’s seen him around kids (he remembers him from their shared childhood) and he’s heard (a bit) about how happy he was with Robin and whatever, so I sometimes feel Sam still wants the Sookie ending for Dean: a chance to have a true family of his own, and a life Dean could finally lead in full view of everybody, without shame or weirdness or sigils carved on the walls. And I’m not sure this is something Cas would be able to give Dean.

Finally, there’s the whole bisexuality deal. Here, I have to say - I don’t know what to think. I’m sure Sam’s got no problem with queer people, but it’s always slightly different when it’s your family, right? And there are days I think Sam must know - Jesus, they’ve been sharing a room for thirty years - and days when I think that no, that parent/child thing they’ve got going is way too strong for Sam to see the whole picture (to even think about it). 

(Like, I know it was supposed to be funny and that I’m reading too much into it, but Sam recoiling when Rowena suggested he undress Dean and check his chest hair or something - to me, that was emblematic of how their relationship works. Dean’s changed Sam’s diapers, has helped him to get dressed for years, surely bathed him and watched him play with that one plastic submarine they’d scavenged somewhere and, years later, he stitched him up and massaged weird herbal salves over his bruises and whatever - but to Sam, of course, it’s weird to think about his brother’s body at all, because that’s the relationship we have with our parents: when you actually have to take care of them that way, it means things have got very bad and very scary.)

In any case, at the very least Sam would be worried about Dean’s safety (and there’s always that heartbreaking thing, right, that if you’re bi and you can be happy with a woman - man, it’d be so much easier) - but one big reason to be optimistic in this sense was this new development we’ve seeing - that openly gay hunters can actually exist in the community without being bothered. 

(Then again, judging from the news coming about the US, I sometimes feel Dean and Cas could have their college AU life only in a big city, and not in one of those wild, road off to the horizon states where Dean feels most at home. So, well - I really don’t know.)

Anyway - we know so little about Sam, it’s likely that anything could work concerning his approach to the Destiel situation. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Try-Hard | 01

Originally posted by jjungkook

Summary: Yoongi asks you to help him photograph the university rugby team, and you’re reluctant until you see Jeon Jungkook in uniform. Damn.

Members: Jungkook, ft. Yoongi being a little shit

Word Count: 4.7k

Genre: Fluff, eventual smut

A/N: Part one of my Rugby!Kook fic. Totally not inspired by imagining Jungkook in a rugby uniform. Nope. Not at all. (And a try is one of the ways to score in rugby. Heh, I’m punny.)

Part 2

When Yoongi first asks you to help him photograph the university’s rugby team, you are reluctant at best. Your knowledge of the sport extends to that it somewhat resembled football but with significantly less padding. Even then, your notions probably aren’t very accurate. Furthermore, you aren’t very keen on spending time in the sun taking pictures of sweaty guys tackling each other, no matter how “fit” your friends say they are. The same friends had convinced (read: forced) you to take the job with Yoongi, with promises of a free ice cream and dinner some time down the line.

You slightly warm up to the job when Yoongi introduces you to one of the players and his good friend, Park Jimin. They are about the same height but if they weren’t standing next to each other, you wouldn’t have known. Jimin is more muscular, all his rugby workouts showing in his bulging muscles that are noticeable even through his his t-shirt and jeans. He’s sweet, with an almost blinding smiling and a presence that warmed the room. You find yourself thinking that this gig wouldn’t be so bad as you laugh at one of his jokes over fries.

You warm up a lot once you meet the rest of the team. Or more accurately, once you see the team in uniform. More specifically, when you see Jeon Jungkook in uniform. God damn.

It had completely slipped your mind that your cute, soft spoken photography classmate was on the team, even though you’ve seen him wearing his team jacket in class. Every time you looked at him you were too busy staring at his face rather than focusing on what sports team he played on.

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Brutal Beauty

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Warnings: For the first time in a while…. I don’t think there are any.

Words: 1,677

A/n: Ah shit. I was supposed to post this yesterday but I fricking queued it up for next week on accident x| P.s. Look at me! I’m back at it with the horrible titles and summaries again. Aces.

Summary: Your feelings towards Steve are growing and it’s not as good as it seems.

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Imagine being Ivar’s anchor after Sigurds dead

: Hello 😊 could I please request an ivar x reader story where she is like his anchor (as in she’s the only one who can get through to him when he’s in a rage or extremely upset etc). And one day someone mocks Ivar’s deceased mother and Reader has to calm him down? Thanks 😊
Summary: He just killed Sigurd, in front of a whole army and you weren’t close enough to stop him from doing so. So you must prevent him from doing other things, for his own sake and that of others.
Words: 2283

You felt the tensity hanging in the air, like it would fall down any minute and crush everybody underneath the heaviness of it while Sigurd snapped against his younger brother. He went far out of line this time and you saw Ivar his emotion turn more inwards with every word that boy said. Sigurd didn’t stopped provoking his brother and you where just to far away to get to Ivar in time. So it was like a little twig, cracking in two when Ivar reacted, pulling his axe and trowing it to his brother. You gasped for breath, waiting, looking how Sigurd got up, pulling that axe out before strumbling to his brother. But he fell down, Sigurd died and all eyes turned to Ivar. You looked to, in disbelief, to the boy that just killed his own brother. Somewhere you saw it coming, the relationship between Ivar and Sigurd was already tensed for as long as you could remember. But being witness of it … a whole heathen army was witness of it in fact and everybody just didn’t moved while Ubbe and Hvitserk crouched down aside their dead brother. You looked to Ivar, who sat straight up in his seat, shocked eyes about his own actions and looking down to his brothers. You felt the guilt dropping in, knowing that if you were there you could maybe have stopped him. Being the only anchor Ivat still had he listened to you and now you were just to far out of reach to stop this distaster. You eyes traveled to the others, Halfdan and Harald give each other such a look you didn’t trusted really and when you went looking for Björn he wasn’t even around. You saw hatered within some looks, but you saw also fear. After his speech earlier you thought a large part of this army would follow Ivar into battle but now … you weren’t quite sure of that. And when you looked back he was gone, he wasn’t sitting on his chair anymore and in a instinct you started to push yourself between the others.

It looked like hours before you where finally free from the army and runned over to his brothers. You startled from the blood, like you somewhere still hoped he would be alive in there. But Sigurd … Sigurd Snake in the Eye was dead and Ivar killed him. ‘Find him, bring him to reason.’ Ubbe said to you. It took you a moment, torn between supporting them over the loss of their brother or going after the one who killed him. But your loyalty always laid with Ivar, being a slafe from his mother you where closer to him than anybody ever was aside his mother. She freed you before she walked to her own dead and since then Ivar kept you always close. Being capabel of knowing his feelings maked you closer than you imagined it ever to be.

You ran trought the muddy paths of this Ecbert kingdom, looking for the only person that really mattered. Every second you where away from him was a second more for him to shut of his humanity. You saw him do some gruesome things in the time grewing up together, you know what it did to him. It all started with that boy he killed when he was little, giving a little of himself away to his anger was like feeding a monster … it only wanted more. You stopped at the gate, looking over the road uphill to the horizon where you just could see gallop his white horse and chariot away. He was running of? Your eyes started looking for a horse and as soon as you find one you climbed on it and drove it right after Ivar. You where already such a miserable rider, it was like the animal knew it and took it all on himself to follow the chariot. It took more than five minutes before you finally saw him, galloping right to … another kingdom. He wasn’t running, he just needed blow of some steam? ‘Ivar!’ You yelled, hands sloppy around the reins while the horse ran throught a small forest path. You saw him looking over his shoulder and for once you just hoped that he would listen to the first time you yelled but like always he didn’t. Your horse spooked, he stopped so fast that you screamed while you lost balance over his shoulder and felt on the ground. You gasped, trying to find some cordination while the world spinned around you, and not only that. You saw men showing up from out the bushes around you. Like four of them? You started panicking, looking for your horse that ran of in the direction Ivar was going. And when you looked, trying to find him while those men approaced you he was there, in the middle of the road, looking. It was like he was thinking of leaving you there, with those men but because he was so far away you couldn’t really see. ‘Ivar!’ You begged.
‘No cripple is gonna help you now.’ One of them grinned. You swallowed, crawling backwards until you hitted a tree and you had no where to go. He wouldn’t leave you here, he wouldn’t do that. But on the other hand, he just killed his brother so what were you worth to him after that? On of them took a knife and you closed your eyes. But the only thing you felt was something warm splashing against your cheek. You heared something heavy dropping to the ground, followed by a struggling. And when you opened your eyes your hands were covered under blood and Ivar was looking down to you from on his chariot.

You were covered in blood. You tried to wipe your hands off to your dress before you touched you own face. The men all layed dead before you, one lost his head, the others slaughtered in to pieces. And than you had Ivar who looked like something hollow. Two bleu eyes staring at you without nothing more. He just killed his brother and you where alone with him in a forest, how bad could this get further? ‘Ivar,’
‘What were you thinking?’ He asked you, furious. Good, he still had some emotions, not the good ones but it was better than nothing.
‘What was I thinking? You ran of to attack the first kingdom or village you encountered. On your own!’ You shouted in disbelief. You pushed yourself up and walk to the road, carefully looking to the bodies that laid spread on the ground.
‘It could got you killed Ivar!’ You yelled, realizing that him killing his brother could maybe be the last thing that you saw of him. He clenshed his teeth together, he took his reins again and gave you that hollow look again.
‘Home is that way.’ He pointed in the direction where his brothers were, planning on leaving you on you own without a horse.
‘No!’ You jumped on his chariot before he could take of.
‘Why are you doing this y/n.’ He shouted out. He turned his body in his seat, you grabbed the egde of the chariot in chase he was thinking of pushing you off.
‘Because I care, because I don’t want you to wander of to some village with innocent people you can slaughter.’
‘Nobody is innocent.’ He fired back.
‘I am. I hate it when you do this, building walls, hating everybody, I’,
‘It is better to hate than to love.’ He itterupted you. You hand flew out, smacked him right against his cheek. You pulled back, covering your mouth in disbelief of what you just did. He rolled his jaw and slowly looked back at you. And gone was that hollow emptyness in his eyes. You saw his anger flaming up like the fire before a sarcrifies. He never got you really scared before but he did now.
‘Don’t kill me.’ You begged as a reaction on the monster you saw in his eyes. And just as that you pushed him out of balance, something flashed through his eyes and you took advantage of it. ‘It isn’t your fault, nothing is. That is what your mother always told you. The gods aren’t punishing you, you are punishing them for making you this way, a cripple.’ Your voice wasn’t that strong as earlier, it was hardly a whisper.
‘I killed my brother y/n, why are you not running in the other direction?’ He hissed. The unsteadyness in his gaze grew and you slowly brought you hand up to touch him. But he refused, catching your wrist in his tied grip.
‘It wasn’t your fault. He never listened to you when you warned him so he got what he deserved.’
‘He was my brother!’ Ivar reacted. Your eyes filled with tears because his weren’t doing it.
‘I know. And I would ask the gods to turn back the time but they can’t so the only thing that I can do is make sure you don’t loose what is left of your humanity.’ You folded your hand over his that still holded your wrist. It didn’t hurt but is didn’t felt relaxing either. He lost a little of his grip so you could peel of the fingers around your wrist before you wrapped your arms around him. His head felt heavy against your shoulder. He just sat there, hands in his own lap while the embrace holded on for minutes. ‘Everybody in your situation would do the same. I don’t know what price you pay for this but I still believe that some part of you can be saved because impatient, anger and hate are also gifts from the gods, you only have to use them right.’ You whispered in his ear. He wrapped an arm around you waist and you knew you had cracked him right open, leaving a vunarable version of himself only for you to care about. ‘He loved you Ivar and you loved him. I’m sure Valhalla will great him with a big feast, just as they will do for you when your time comes and you tell them your tales of glorie. You will see Sigurd back,’ you felt silent, carefully cupping his face and looking down on him. His bleu eyes where just so alive but the pain and sadness he showed maked you a little hollow to. He regreted his choise, he regreted the picture of him killing his own brother. And it would haunt him the rest of his life.

The both of you stayed on that road the rest of the day until it was dark enough and most of the army would be to drunk or sleepy to notice Ivar coming back again. You where glad you convinsed him but as soon as you arrived and you saw Ubbe stand at the gate he tensed. It took him hardly a second to pull away all the feelings in his look back under that mask of him. And when he drove in he didn’t looked to his brother but his brother certainly looked at him. You only gave a reassuring not when Ubbe noticed the blood on your dress and the fact that Ivar even wasn’t speaking. Maybe it would be best for all of them to grief Sigurd in their own way, meaning you had to stay close to Ivar for the time being. He hardly said anything when he found himself some far of cotage to sleep. You tacked down his horse, give it a place to rest before you followed him in. But his silence kept going, he pulled himself on to the bed and tried to untied his legs what only caused him to react in anger on it. ‘Ivar,’ you rushed over, crouching down before him while you laid you hands over his.
‘I killed him.’ He whispered. You looked down, slowly untied the belt around his legs before you looked up again.
‘Yes.’ You nodded softly. Denying things wasn’t a option with Ivar, he was making it himself already hard enough. You could only maked it easier. So you started to take of his armor while he just gazed in front of him. ‘If you wanna raid tomorrow I can look for some men to accompany you.’ You suggested, not knowing if he still needed to blow of some steam.
‘No, we go home.’ He nodded for himself. You carefully pulled his armor of so he was in nothing more than just his shirt.  
‘We go home,’ you replied, laying your fingers under his chin so you could guide his gaze up. ‘we give your brother a proper farewell, you regain strenth and you conquere again. Because that is your destiny, Ivar the Boneless is made to conquer this world, despite what he has done on the way.’ You smiled encouraging. He laid his hand around you waist and pulled you softly down on his lap. You looked into his bleu eyes that still screamed a lot of things, but it was a magnificent set of eyes.
‘Stay. I need you.’ He confessed, pulling your face closer.
‘Always.’ You whispered before you felt the soft pressure of his lips against yours. You wrapped carefully an arm around his shoulder, opening your lips to his and so helped him forget what was consumed him all day. He was Ivar … Ivar The Boneless, he would survive, he always did.

I hope you liked it! I’m more of an emotional writer, can’t find my way in the smut sometimes (how do you guys do that) but hopefully this is as good as any other. <3