like that we only get one terrible thing in a great show

Sometimes the customer is wrong for unrelated reasons.

Due to the well of my friends’ “def not an axe murderer” date recommendations drying up, I have turned to that most sacred of modern relationship institutions: online dating. As a very busy person trying to get it in with other very busy people, I prize honestly and directness above all else when it comes to profile creation. I include full body shots in my photos, try to minimize the use of MySpace angles in selfies, and write at the very top of the summary/caption/profile that I am fat. Not “curvy,” not “thick,” not “lots to love”–I’m f*cking fat. I’m not ashamed of it, but I also known that weight is a dealbreaker for lots of people. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.

About a year ago I met “Evan” via Tinder. We exchanged friendly messages for a few hours one night and agreed to meet up for drinks the following evening. I waited for a full hour past the designated time, and just as I was getting up to leave, the texts started rolling in.

“I can see you sweating from here.” “How long does it take you to roll out of bed every morning?” “Is there an earthquake or are you just getting up for more pretzels?”

Really idiotic, juvenile shit. Four separate numbers, commenting on things like my clothes, which clued me in that the senders were nearby. This went on for 15 minutes before I finally saw Evan, trying to hide in at a corner table and giggling with a group of buddies. I made eye contact, saw that he saw me, and then walked out. The texts kept up until I blocked the numbers a few hours later.

I ran into Evan about 3 weeks later. We got on the same elevator, and he tried really hard at being super interested in the emergency phone instructions. I just confronted him, and he admitted it was just some “game” that him and his friends play. He knew I was fat before agreeing to meet up; they all did, because that’s what they do. Match up with fat women, then either ghost them or “troll” them at the meet-up. It was also kinda obvious he’d never seen any consequences from this bullshit, as he was sweating pretty hard and looked more humiliated than I felt. I just said whatever and walked out, expecting to never see him again.

About a month ago, some local foodie wrote a great review of the restaurant I own, and we’ve been slammed ever since. In the past, I stayed mostly in the kitchen, but I’ve been doing more and more front-of-house stuff lately, and Valentine’s Day I was working a bit of a split between the two.

I saw Evan just as he was pushing in his date’s chair. My name isn’t on the restaurant, and he didn’t see me. I checked the section up at the hostess stand and saw that one of my favorite old-timers, Nan, was going to be his waitress. I went to the bar till, took out $400, put it in her hands, and said, “This is going to be your only table for the rest of the night. You are going to make this the worst date he has ever been on.”

She spilled every single thing she brought out to the table, all over him. I was waiting for him to blow up on Nan, but he bottled it up, obviously trying to make a good impression on his date. She seemed like a perfectly lovely lady; I told Nan to make sure everything was good for her and terrible for Evan.

She poured ice water on his d*ck. She smacked the back of his head with the edge of a tray. Spilled soup on his shirt. Dropped every fork he asked for. I personally oversalted his food, used the shit liquor for his drinks, used flour instead of sugar on his dessert. To be honest, I don’t know why he didn’t just walk out. He must have really wanted to f*ck this woman.

Finally, he cracked. Demanded Nan find the manager and bring her out. I was only too happy to emerge from the kitchen with my chef’s coat and say what, I’m not ashamed to admit, I’d been planning out all night.

“I would have said hi earlier, but I didn’t want the earthquake to disturb your dinner.”

I will savor the look on Evan’s face for the rest of my life.

He was a little too flummoxed to explain, so I pulled a chair up to the table and introduced myself to his date, Amanda. Told her how I met Evan. Showed her some fun old messages. Then I told gave her a voucher for a free meal on her next visit and told Evan to get the f*ck out and never come back.

He deleted his Tinder profile.

What I think of the MOON signs:

Aries: A lot of mental activity, thinking too much about what interests them. They could be intellectuals. They may appear calm on the outside, but a tornado is going on inside them. Optimistic, very competitive and impatient. They live for the moment, forgetting all else. That’s the reason they change their mind so easily about everything. Very curious, but opinionated. The Aries moon at it’s worst may blame things on others, unable to take responsibility. However, they don’t hold grudges and are usually kind and easygoing, wanting to do the right thing because they aim to live up to this ideal image they have of themselves, whatever that ideal is. If I had to give some advice to this moon sign it would be: not everyone is out to get you, enjoy yourself, RELAX!! and don’t let your need to be the best, even when you are, poison yourself and your relationships. Celebrities with this moon: Angelina Jolie, Nicolas Sarkozy, Bill Gates, Rihanna.

Taurus
: Charming, very charming. Has a great sense of humor and loves companionship. They will tell you stories, they will make you feel warm. They may not take criticism well, but who does? They do not like to be rushed into things, they like stability and comfort even when being adventurous. They may enjoy shopping too much. Ruled by Venus, they are romantic and affectionate in love, sometimes possessive, and they chose love over friendship. Depending on the Sun and Venus, this moon can be extremely jealous. But wishing to keep balance they will hide it under a passive aggressive attitude which can cause more wrong than right. They look for the best in people and usually will find themselves giving too much, but their desire to maintain balance will help them stay on track. They look more reasonable than they are. If I had to give some advice to this moon sign it would be: keep shining, but don’t be so proud. Not everything is like you see it. Sometimes it’s OK to fuck up and admit it. Celebrities with this moon: Christina Aguilera, Cameron Diaz, Mother Teresa, Chris Brown, Jim Morrison.

Gemini: Absent minded? You bet! However they compensate that through their wit and curiosity. They are versatile and easy going. Even on the least easy going suns a Lunar Gemini will ease up the chart. They mean well, I do believe this, mostly because they are not interested in what other people are doing. They do not get caught up in gossip and do their own thing. They can be irritable and moody, but not usually. They are lazy even though they want to have a hand on everything! They have so much they want to do, but their minds go faster than their power of will. They are nervous thought, and if they have a problem they may not know how to act upon it and feel paralyzed. Gemini moons are fun and very chill. At their worst, Lunar Geminis can be very cold and indifferent. If I had to give some advice to this moon sign it would be: you are capable of anything if you work! You are not alone… And look around more, be warmer. Celebrities with this moon sign: Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin, Alyssa Milano, Jennifer Lawrence.

Cancer: are cancers tired of hearing they are emotional? Yes, but it doesn’t make it any less true. Cancer, as a moon sign, is powerful because the moon is the realm of emotions. Being emotional doesn’t mean weak, on the contrary, a Cancer moon has to be strong to be able to feel as they do. And Cancer moons are indeed strong. They are tender and sweet, and a roller coaster of emotional outbursts. They are in touch with their feelings, so much so, sometimes they get too caught up in them, becoming self-absorbed as if their own emotions are the only emotions that matter. What’s the problem with this? That if they are feeling pain they tend to forget the good things in their life and instead of trying to get better, the get lost in self-pity. They have a good memory and a soft heart, even when you least expect it. They do not do well with criticism, they do not take jokes lightly. They love, they love a lot, even through their mood swings. And find it hard to let go. Do not take this moon sign for granted, they are loyal AF. If I had to give some advice to this moon sign it would be: you need to act more and build the future instead of clinging to the past. Celebrities with this moon sign: Taylor Swift, Kurt Cobain, Keanu Reeves, Shakira.

Leo: This moon is outgoing and bright. Yes they need attention, yes they love flattery, yes they can be overly dramatic and yes, as the Leo they are, they do think highly of themselves. And that’s part of the reason they are so successful, they are confident and know they are more than capable of handling anything. They truly are more than capable. They are proud, but have qualities to back it up, and you can’t hate them because they are loving. All that they have for an Ego they have for a heart. They need a lot of love and even though they know they are great, they want to hear it. If you want to cheer them up, genuinely tell them the good qualities you see in them or let them win at a game they love. This is a nice moon to hang around with, a romantic moon, a quick to anger moon, and a moon that won’t try to hurt you, unless you stand in their way. They can be dramatic and get this, they hate drama. They love the whole “nobody loves me” and slamming doors, but oh boy! they‘ll think you are crazy if you act like them. If I had to give some advice to this moon sign it would be: yes, we love you, but do not act so dramatic! Celebrities with this moon sign: Julia Roberts, Mahatma Gandh, Monica Bellucci, Tom Cruise.

Virgo: yes, this whole post was about my perception on the moon signs, but I must warn you I am especially biased about this one… I’ve met so many Virgo moons! Many people I love have Virgo Moons! (I am a Virgo rising myself) And I love them, but we crush. All Virgo moons I have come in contact with were and are… way too… critical. They don’t seem to know you have feelings. They will say nasty comments about your personality, hobbies, clothes… but will get angry at the slightest thing you say to them, and they will over-think it for ages. For even though they are hard on others, they are hard on themselves as well. They do not realize their own defects. However, once they do, they will try to correct them. They also say the good stuff… but not so often. They are sharp and they love a good debate. These people are smart and may involve themselves in jobs that allow them to help humanity. They are not mean or petty, just critical and defensive because they want to make things perfect and be perfect (perfect from their point of view). If I had to give some advice to this moon it would be… yes, you guessed! Watch your words, they cut. No, you are not always right and you don’t need to be. And not because you don’t like something does it mean it’s wrong. Celebrities with this moon sign: Madonna, Dalai Lama, Nicki Minaj, Sean Connery.

Libra: Another very charming moon sign, but unlike their sun sign, the Libra moon person is more secretive. They love love. They are very romantic, it can break their heart. They want to be liked and do not enjoy arguing and outbursts of emotion. They can be superficial and vain, but they are also sweet and peace oriented. They are dreamy, calm, they want to open up, they have a lot in their minds, more so then what they are willing to share. They can be extravagant - for some reason - and quiet. They have a dark side: they can get caught up in their negative emotions but never share it with the world. They might be artsy, bohemian, and proudly so, and they all have a personal sense of style. Whatever they are inside- hippie, hipster, painter, lawyer - they will dress to show it. You can tell a lot about these people from their clothes. They might not be terribly steady in love, sometimes they fall for too many people at once. If I had to give some advice to this moon it would be: there is more than what meets the eye, there’s more than looking for others approval. Celebrities with this moon sign: Leonardo DiCaprio, Justin Bieber, Kate Winslet, Jude Law.

Scorpio: This moon is sensual and dark, this moon wants passion, this moon is romantic and is not afraid of commitment! This moon wants loyalty and is loyal. They are dramatic, very dramatic, like a Leo moon, but without the bright disposition. They are egocentric and at the same time, giving. They hold grudges, but if they love you, you won’t need any reassurance because they will be there showing you. They are hot headed and domineering, they like to feel in control. They are jealous and fear betrayal. They will not put up with your bullshit for too long. They have a strong will and they will get where they want to in life. Do not mess with them. They will not take revenge, but they will not forgive you. They feel a lot, and also expect a lot from others. If I had to give some advice to this moon it would be: chill, chill, chill. Not everything is about you, trust a little more, lighten up! You will be glad you did. Celebrities with this moon sign: Jennifer Lopez, Beyoncé, Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry.

Sagittarius: This moon is curious, careless, optimistic and has a childlike manner to it. They look chill to others. They talk quickly, and are a bit impatient. They are naive, afraid of commitment and dislike restrictions. They need space and personal freedom to be happy. They are carefree and may not always be in tune with others emotions, sometimes they are oblivious to how others feel. They will be there if you open up, but may not be the most empathetic of ears. If things get tough, they will run away. They like to do research and could do well in this area, thanks to their curiosity. They want to explore the world and meet new people, they like talking and can get irritated easily. If I had to give some advice to this moon it would be: Sometimes grounding yourself is needed, sometimes you see more by looking within than by avoiding quietness. It is OK to sit with oneself, don’t avoid things out of fear of working through the rough parts. Celebrities with this moon sign: Albert Einstein, Nicole Kidman, Sharon Stone, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

Capricorn: this moon is closed up. This moon needs to feel productive and they measure their worth through their ability to get somewhere in life. They want money and material things and YET they will cultivate a spiritual side. This moon worries about everything. A woman (or a person with feminine energy) with this moon is loyal and stable, a man (or person with masculine energy) with this moon sign, however, finds it hard to be with one woman because they do not know how to be vulnerable. They have will power and emotional strength, they will give you everything you need if you ask - you’d have to ask as they do not know what people need. This moon cares about their style as well, like the Libra moon, this moon dresses up for the job they want, as they say. They like shopping. They can also be alone for long periods of time, they do not mind being in their room all day. Something most people do not expect of this moon sign is their high sexual drive! They can be very kinky and like to sleep around. This moon is cautious, and doesn’t take risks. They like to know the outcome and will think of all the possibilities before rushing into things. If I had to give some advice to this moon it would be: oh, you, it’s ok to be vulnerable. If you never open up, you will miss your life. Take risks, maybe not always, but do not let love pass you by because of fear. Celebrities with this moon sign: Amy Winehouse, Adolf Hitler, Johnny Depp, Napoleon.

Aquarius: what a witty moon to have. In my opinion, this position makes a person fast, goofy and brainy. They are detached and bubbly, they look not as smart as they truly are. They like attention, but will not give it to you! They are aloof. They care about facts, though. They call it the Aquarian Age for a reason. They want to know things, but will not argue with you if you do not see things as they do. They like to keep their emotions to themselves and do not like to be serious. So maybe, listening to others talking about their problems is not their strength. They just want to chill! If a sarcastic comment is what you need, go talk to them. They care about history and humanity, they want to make a difference. If I had to give some advice to this moon it would be:: care about people a little more, ok? They might need you as much as you need them. Celebrities with this moon sign: Marilyn Monroe, Princess Diana, John Lennon, Conan O'brien.

Pisces: Yes this moon sign is the most compassionate and empathetic of all the moon signs. This moon is psychic, and will know how you are feeling even better than you. They can easily feel overwhelmed by the harsh demands of this world and, at their worst they can turn to drugs or other ways to escape reality. However, they are funny, goofy and optimistic, they live in their dream world and seem to be in a far away land. Even though they can be masochistic, and can be a pushover, this moon sign sees everything and everyone with rose colored glasses, including their future. They think everything will be alright even if death is right in front of them, they will think they are dating a kind person even if they find them cheating on them every Saturday. They are indeed innocent, gullible, but what most people do not know about this moon sign is that once they see you for you, there is no way back. They put people they love on pedestals, but if you fall, it will be hard for them to put you up there again. Which is not a bad thing, it is better not be on a pedestal anyway. However, the problem is, when they get betrayed or hurt, they start to think the worst of people. They will not revenge, but maybe they won’t let you back into their life, they are afraid to be vulnerable. It is easier for them to be there for others than to be there for themselves and show the world all the messy they are inside. They feel guilty over everything and even though they care about people a lot, sometimes they have trouble showing it. If I had to give some advice to this moon sign it would be: love yourself more, take care of yourself and do not be a doormat. And stop the self-pity. Celebrities with this moon sign: Michael Jackson, Michelle Obama, Martin Luther King, Elvis Presley.

my dudes

my buddies

my pals

Let’s be real for a second in terms of like where this show is headed with regards to my favorite character (surprise it’s Lance jk no one is surprised)

Recently this tweet happened:

And some people are taking this really well and other people… not so much. Which makes sense since all of us have been like #thirstin for something more for Lance and have been met with a lotta nothing, but I think this tweet is actually a good thing.

So in this recent interview with Kimberly, Josh, and Jeremy, Jeremy basically says what he’s been saying since day 1 that’s been echoed by a lot of the other cast members and crew.

Basically: Lance will step up to the plate and he’ll become more of a leader and take on more responsibility but at the end of the day…

Lance.

Is.

Lance.

And when people ask for more about Lance in terms of his character, you don’t really hear much beyond this, which is exTRemEly frustrating but just hear me out.

It might not be this deep but I think it’d be cool if there’s a reason for the Voltron team being so adamant in the fact that “Lance is Lance.” And he will always be no matter what. This can go one of two ways.

1. Lance is Lance because he will always only be comic relief. 6 seasons of comic relief. That’s him. He’s Lance. A flirt. Cocky. Goofy. Sure he might have some moments like we’ve seen in S1 and S2 but for the most part he’s there to be the team goofball to make everyone laugh (or groan with frustration and annoyance)

Which is shitty and terrible and I will be so angry if this is what goes down but for now let’s move onto the MUCH BETTER option 2.

2. Lance does become a leader (maybe a co-leader? Right hand man? stays the Blue Paladin and just kinda steps up more? whatever) but no matter how tough things get, no matter how worn down the team is, no matter how hopeless the situation seems, Lance can still be Lance. And I don’t just mean he’s able to crack a joke at a tense time to lighten the mood, though that also is a part of it. I mean that he is able to keep a level head and calmly think things through even in chaotic or near impossible situations

That he is always concerned about the well-being of other and is willing to lay down his life for his friends (AKA PEOPLE HE JUST MET)

That he’s also not afraid to call out these friends when he thinks they are making a mistake (there seems to be a running theme with this one…..)

That he’s also appreciative of his friends and pays attention to their needs/wants and their strengths

And that he will always go down swinging

But maybe most importantly, and this is what I hope the Voltron team is trying to get at, Lance will never lose his joy and excitement and happy go-lucky demeanor. This is what makes him the Blue Paladin (and also why I think he would make a great Black Paladin but anyways….). He’s the glue of the team and this means more than just being the comic relief and making ill-timed jokes.

I really love the Lance that is able to start a weird space spore fight or wants to knit sweaters for Arusians. I love the Lance that enjoys doing a crazy dance while explaining their extremely dangerous plan to defeat Zarkon. I love the Lance that has fun coming up with wild ideas about what else could be locked up in Beta Traz. It’s not that he’s not taking his job as a Paladin seriously but rather that he is trying to take this crazy situation in stride as much as possible. We know that he can be worried, insecure, and lonely, but this never stops him from being who he is. He stumbles, loses confidence, regains it, and stands back up again ready to start swinging at the next asshole who decides to come for him and his friends.

Lance is adaptable just like water. He might come in different forms (serious, competitive, caring, homesick, flirtatious, etc) but at the end of the day it’s all of it is a part of who he is. He might need to get better at figuring out the appropriate timing of being leader Lance or flirty Lance, but it’s not like he has to lose the more immature part of him to become a more well-developed character.

So when people say “Lance will always be Lance,” I’m actually pretty fucking thankful. I’ve read some Langst where Lance becomes more “Keith-like” to cope with his insecurities which……. I’m conflicted about. I don’t think he needs to go as far as NOT be him in order for the team to learn to appreciate him more. So I think this affirmation from the staff that Lance will always be himself no matter what makes me believe that he will be what keeps the team together through the difficult and tumultuous times to come. That even despite his clear self-doubt he will be able to put the team and others first and maintain his role as the glue. That he will still manage to grow and change as a Paladin AND maintain the things that make him Lance.

There will be growing pains, of course, (I’m guessing a lot to do with Keith) but just because he’s insecure doesn’t make him weak. Lance doesn’t have to become more serious or stoic in order to be taken more seriously or be more “mature.” Then he wouldn’t be the Lance we know and love. He can withstand the challenges to come and develop as a character without sacrificing these integral parts of himself. He is capable of SO MUCH and I can’t wait for him to unlock the potential that was always there within him and makes him who he is.

Hot Off The Press

Another AU where Jacky-Boy is a hockey player and Bitty has a job that involves hockey bc that’s my aesthetic. Anyway, I really know nothing about how the world of sports journalism works so there is probably some inaccuracies in here, but it’s an AU so who cares. Artistic license and all that. Very slightly NSFW (i just wanted to get all the warnings out there). 

***

“Are you into men?”

Jack has been asked this question before, but in such a subtle way (and typically involving Parson) that it’s easy to avoid. No reporter has ever straight out asked him. Besides, he’s not gay. He’s bisexual. So when Jack usually tells them, “No.” it’s not a lie. However, this time it feels different. Maybe it wasn’t just this particular time, but all the times added onto each other that’s finally causing him to really think about what hole he’s digging himself into.

The blunt question has him feeling panicky and the other presser notice his reaction too. Jack can’t say no, because that’s not true. He is into men. Jack’s panic quickly shifts, and now he just feels like shoving the microphones away and storming out, because this is hockey goddammit. Not E! news.

“Excuse me?” Jack clears his throat, trying to buy himself some time to think of a properly crafted response. Over the years, he’s developed a talent for that.

But everything is on overdrive and he feels his breath start to quicken again–

“Are you into men?” Another reporter asks, and it takes Jack a moment to realize that the reporter isn’t asking him. He’s asking the man who popped the question in the first place.

 All attention, including Jack’s, turns to the small blonde that got lost in the bundle of people. He holds up his mic towards the reporter who popped the question in the first place. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm very confused is there some new show in which Betty and Veronica from the Archie comics make out? What is happening? What is

oh buddy YOU HAVEN’T HEARD OF RIVERDALE? where to even BEGIN.

so once upon a time some CW executive was like “you know what The Kids like? those wholesome Archie comics in which people actually go by names like jughead and moose and two incredibly amazing women fight over a thoroughly mediocre boy”

look at how precious and innocent they are, god bless.

“… but you know what else The Kids love???????” the exec said, speaking aloud because why not?

HERE’S SOME STUFF KIDS LOVE

“WHAT IF” says this executive, eyes gleaming in a way that’s a little more than manic, now, “we have ALL THE SAME CHARACTERS FROM ARCHIE only instead of keeping that feel-good tone we turn it into TWIN PEAKS meets GOSSIP GIRL meets VERONICA MARS but like not the good veronica mars, awkward middle of season three veronica mars.”

that sounds terrible, i can hear you thinking. are you endorsing this?

it IS terrible, pal, but let me tell you

let me just say

they have gotten one thing– 

or rather, two things–

very

very 

right

are veronica and betty going to be endgame?

NO!

do they even legit like girls?

DON’T BE RIDICULOUS

is this show actually, like… good?

HA HA NOT REALLY

but then why…????

look man.

sometimes you want to watch a show that’s going to change your life. a show that gets at the heart of what it means to be human, that really thinks through every twist and turn, that cares about its characters like they’re real people. a show that you then judge all others against.

and sometimes

you want to watch a show that is then judged against those other, actually good shows.

the bad news is that Riverdale is garbage

the good news is that it’s the best kind of garbage

the GREAT news is that IT’S ONLY SIX O’CLOCK AND YOU CAN STILL CATCH UP ON THE FIRST TWO EPISODES BEFORE THE THIRD ONE AIRS TONIGHT AT 9/8C ON THE CW

if i go down i’m taking you all with me

why lance (probably) won’t be the red paladin, and also why keith (probably) won’t be the black paladin

alright, so, chances are you’ve watched and rewatched the season three trailer multiple times. or, at least, i have. in it, we see lance in both the blue lion and the red lion, and we also see keith in the black lion. 

Keep reading

Gather round, children. Auntie Jules has a degree in psychology with a specialization in social psychology, and she doesn’t get to use it much these days, so she’s going to spread some knowledge.

We love saying representation matters. And we love pointing to people who belong to social minorities being encouraged by positive representation as the reason why it matters. And I’m here to tell you that they are only a part of why it matters.

The bigger part is schema.

Now a schema is just a fancy term for your brain’s autocomplete function. Basically, you’ve seen a certain pattern enough times that your brain completes the equation even when you have incomplete information.

One of the ways we learned about this was professional chess players vs. people who had no experience with chess.

If you take a chess board and you set it up according to a pattern that is common in chess playing (I’m one of those people who knows jack shit about chess), and you show it to both groups of people, and then you knock all the pieces off the board, the pro chess players will be able to return it to its prior state almost perfectly with no trouble, because they looked at it and they said, “Oh, this is the fifth move of XYZ Strategy, so these pieces would be here.”

The people who don’t know about chess are like, “Uh, I think one of the horses was over here, and maybe there was a castle over there?”

BUT, if you just put the pieces randomly on the board before you showed it to them, then the amateurs were more likely to have a higher rate of accuracy in returning the pieces to the board, because the pros are SO entrenched in their knowledge of strategy patterns that it impairs their ability to see what is actually there if it doesn’t match a pattern they already know.

Now some of y’all are smart enough to see where this is going already but hang on because I’m never gonna get to be a college professor so let me get my lecture on for a second.

Let’s say for a second that every movie and TV show on television ever shows black men who dress in loose white T-shirts and baggy pants as carrying guns 90% of the time, and when they get mad, they pull that gun out and wave it in some poor white woman’s face. I mean, sounds fake, right? But go with it.

Now let’s say that you’re out walking around in real life, and you see a black man wearing a white T-shirt and loose-fitting jeans. 

And let’s say he reaches for something in his pocket.

And let’s say you can’t see what he’s reaching for. Maybe it’s his wallet. Maybe it’s his cell phone or car keys. Maybe it’s a bag of Skittles.

But on TV and movies, every single time a black man in comfortable, casual clothes reaches for something you can’t see, it turns out to be a gun.

So you see this.

And your brain screams “GUN!!!” before he even comes up with anything. And chances are even if you SEE the cell phone, your brain will still think “GUN!!!” until he does something like put it up to his ear. (Unless you see the pattern of non-threatening black men more often than you see the narrative of them as a threat, in which case, the pattern you see more often will more likely take precedence in this situation.)

Do you see what I’m saying?

I’m saying that your brain is Google’s autocomplete for forms, and that if you type something into it enough, that is going to be what the function suggests to you as soon as you even click anywhere near a box in a form.

And our brains functioning this way has been a GREAT advantage for us as a species, because it means we learn. It means that we don’t have to think about things all the way through all the time. It saves us time in deciding how to react to something because the cues are already coded into our subconscious and we don’t have to process them consciously before we decide how to act.

But it also gets us into trouble. Did you know that people are more likely to take someone seriously if they’re wearing a white coat, like the kind medical doctors wear, or if they’re carrying a clipboard? Seriously, just those two visual cues, and someone is already on their way to believing what you tell them unless you break the script entirely and tell them something that goes against an even more deeply ingrained schema.

So what I’m saying is, representation is important, visibility is important, because it will eventually change the dominant schemas. It takes consistency, and it takes time, but eventually, the dominant narrative will change the dominant schema in people’s minds.

It’s why when everyone was complaining that same-sex marriage being legal wouldn’t really change anything for LGB people who weren’t in relationships, some people kept yelling that it was going to make a huge difference, over time, because it would contribute to the visibility of a narrative in which our relationships were normalized, not stigmatized. It would contribute to changing people’s schemas, and that would go a long way toward changing what they see as acceptable, as normal, and as a foregone conclusion.

So in conclusion: Representation is hugely important, because it’s probably one of the single biggest ways to change people’s behavior, by changing their subconscious perception.

(It is also why a 24-hour news cycle with emphasis on deconstructing every. single. moment. of violent crimes is SUCH A TERRIBLE SOCIETAL INFLUENCE, but that is a rant for another post.)

theguardian.com
Ten things I learned about writing from Stephen King
The novelist James Smythe, who has been analysing the work of Stephen King for the Guardian since 2012, on the lessons he has drawn from the master of horror fiction
By James Smythe

Stephen King is an All-Time Great, arguably one of the most popular novelists the world has ever seen. And there’s a good chance that he’s inspired more people to start writing than any other living writer. So, as the Guardian and King’s UK publisher Hodder launch a short story competition – to be judged by the master himself – here are the ten most important lessons to learn from his work.

1. Write whatever the hell you like

King might be best known – or, rather, best regarded – as a writer of horror novels, but really, his back catalogue is crammed with every genre you can think of. There are thrillers (Misery, Gerald’s Game), literary novels (Bag Of Bones, Different Seasons), crime procedurals (Mr Mercedes), apocalypse narratives (The Stand), fantasy (Eyes Of The Dragon, The Dark Tower series) … He’s even written what I think of as being one of the greatest Young Adult novels of all time: The Long Walk. Perhaps the only genre or audience he hasn’t really touched so far is comedy, but most of his work features moments that show his deft touch with humour. It’s clear that King does what he wants, when he wants, and his constant readers – the term he calls his, well, constant readers – will follow him wherever he goes.

2. The scariest thing isn’t necessarily what’s underneath the bed

Horror is a curious thing. What scares one person won’t necessarily scare another. And while there might be moments in his horror novels that tread towards the more conventional ideas of what some find terrifying, for the most part, the truly scary aspects are those that deal with humanity itself. Ghosts drive people to madness, telekinetic girls destroy whole towns with their powers, clowns … well, clowns are just bloody terrifying full stop. But the true crux of King’s ability to scare is finding the thing that his readers are actually worried about, and bringing that to the fore. If you’re writing horror, don’t just think about what goes bump in the night; think about what that bump might drive people to do afterwards.

3. Don’t be scared of transparency

One of my favourite things about King’s short story collections are the little notes about each tale that he puts into the text. The history of them, the context for the idea, how the writing process actually worked. They’re not only invaluable material for aspiring writers – because exactly how many drafts does it take to reach a decent story? King knows! – but they’re also brilliant nuggets of insight into King himself. Some people might think that it’s better off knowing nothing about authors when they read their work, but for King, his heart is on his sleeve. In his latest collection, The Bazaar of Broken Dreams, King gets more in-depth than ever, talking about what inspired the stories in such an honest way that it couldn’t have come from another writer’s pen. Which brings us to …

4. Write what you know. Sort of. Sometimes

Write what you know is the most common writing tip you’ll find anywhere. It’s nonsense, really, because if we all did that we’d end up with terribly boring novels about writers staring out of windows waiting for inspiration to hit. (If you like those, incidentally, head straight for the literary fiction section of your nearest bookshop.) But King understands that experience is something which can be channelled into your work, and should be at every opportunity. Aspects of his life – addiction, teaching, his near-fatal car accident, rock and roll, ageing – have cropped up in his work over and over, in ways that aren’t always obvious, but often help to drive the story. That’s something every writer can use, because it’s through these truths that real emotions can be writ large on the page.

5. Aim big. Or small

King’s written some mammoth books, and they’re often about mammoth things. The Stand takes readers into an apocalypse, with every stage of it laid out on the page until the final fantastical showdown. It deals with a horror that hits a group of characters twice in their lives, showing us how years and years of experience can change people. And The Dark Tower is a seven (or eight, or more, if you count the short stories set in its world) part series that takes in so many different genres of writing it’s dizzying. When he needs to, King aims really big, and sometimes that’s what you have to do to tell a story. At the other end of the spectrum, some of King’s most enduring stories – Rita Hayworth & Shawshank Redemption, The Mist – have come from his shorter works. He traps small groups of characters in single locations and lets the story play out how it will. The length of the story you’re telling should dictate the size of the book. Doesn’t matter if it’s forty thousand words or two hundred, King doesn’t waste a word.

6. Write all the time. And write a lot

King’s published – wait for it – 55 novels, 11 collections of stories, 5 non-fiction works, 7 novellas and 9 assorted other pieces (including illustrated works and comic books). That’s over a period of 41 years. That’s an average of two books a year. Which is, I must admit, a pretty giddying amount. That’s years of reading (or rereading, if you’re as foolishly in awe of him as I am). But he’s barely stopped for breath. This year has seen three books published by him, which makes me feel a little ashamed. Still, at my current rate of writing, I might catch up with him sometime next century. And while not every book has found the same critical and commercial success, they’ve all got their fans.

7. Voice is just as important as content

King’s a writer who understands that a story needs to begin before it’s actually told. It begins in the voice of the novel: is it first person, or third? Is it past or present tense? Is it told through multiple narrators, or just the one? He’s a master at understanding exactly why each story is told the way it’s told. Sure, he might dress it up as something simple – the story finding the voice it needs, or vice versa – but through his books you can see that he’s tried pretty much everything, and can see why each voice worked with the story he was telling.

8. And Form is just as important as voice

King isn’t really thought of as an experimental novelist, which is grossly unfair. Some of King’s more daring novels have taken on really interesting forms. Be it The Green Mile’s fragmented, serialised narrative; or the dual publication of The Regulators and Desperation – novels which featured the same characters in very different situations, with unsettling parallels between the stories that unfolded for them; or even Carrie’s mixed-media narrative, with sections of the story told as interview or newspaper extract. All of these novels have played with the way they’re presented on the page to find the perfect medium for telling those stories. Really, the lesson here from King is to not be afraid to play.

9. You don’t have to be yourself

Some of King’s greatest works in the early years of his career weren’t published by King himself. They were in the name of Richard Bachman, his slightly grislier pseudonym. The Long Walk, Thinner, The Running Man – these are books that dealt with a nastier side of things than King did in his properly attributed work. Because, maybe it’s good to have a voice that allows us to let the real darkness out, with no judgments. (And then maybe, as King eventually did in The Dark Half, it’s good to kill that voice on the page … )

10. Read On Writing. Now

This is the most important tip in the list. In 2000, King published On Writing, a book that sits in the halfway space between autobiography and writing manual. It’s full of details about his process, about how he wrote his books, channelled his demons and overcame his challenges. It’s one of the few books about writing that are actually worth their salt, mainly because it understands that it’s about a personal experience, and readers might find that useful. There’s no universal truths when it comes to writing. One person’s process would be a nightmare for somebody else. Some people spend years labouring on nearly perfect first drafts; some people get a first draft written in six weeks, and then spend the next year destroying it and rebuilding it. On Writing tells you how King does it, to help you to find your own. Even if you’re not a fan of his books, it’s invaluable to the in-development writer. Heck, it’s invaluable to all writers.

Joan Beauchamp Procter: her best friend was a Komodo dragon and if that doesn’t entice you to read this, I don’t know what will

Joan Beauchamp Procter is a scientist every reptile enthusiast should admire.

Joan was an incredibly intelligent young woman who was chronically ill (and as a result of her chronic illness, physically disabled by her early thirties). Her health issues kept her from going to college, but that did not stop her from studying and keeping reptiles. She presented her first paper to the Zoological Society of London at the tender age of nineteen, and the society was so impressed that they hired her to help design their aquarium. In 1923, despite having no formal secondary education and despite being only 26 years old, she was hired as the London Zoo’s curator of reptiles. Now, that in and of itself is an awesome accomplishment, but Joan was absolutely not content to maintain the status quo. Nosiree, by the age of 26 Joan had already kept many exotic pets (including a crocodile!) and knew a thing or two about what needed to be done to improve their lives in captivity. So Joan got together with an architect, Edward Guy Dawber, and designed the world’s first building designed solely for the keeping of reptiles. She had some really, really great ideas. Her first big idea was to make the building differentially heated- different areas and enclosures would have different heat zones, instead of having the whole building heated to one warm temperature. She also set up aquarium lighting- the gallery itself was dark, with dim lights on individual enclosures to make things less stressful for the inhabitants. She also insisted on the use of special glass that didn’t filter out UVB. This meant that reptiles could synthesize vitamin D and prevented cases of MBD in her charges. 

But advances in enclosure design weren’t Joan’s only contribution to reptile keeping. She was also one of the first herpetologists to study albinism in snakes- she was the first to publish an identification how albinism manifests in reptile eyes differently than in mammal eyes, and stressed the importance of making accurate color plates of reptiles during life because study specimens often lose pigmentation. She also was really hands-on with many species, including crocodiles, large constrictors, and monitor lizards. Joan had this idea that if you socialize an animal and get it used to handling, then when you need to give it a vet checkup, things tend to go a lot better. This really hadn’t been done with reptiles before. She was able to identify many unstudied diseases, thanks to her patient handling of live specimens, and by being patient and going slow, she managed to get a lot of very large, dangerous creatures to trust her. One of them (that we know of) even came to like her- a Komodo dragon named Sumbawa. 

In 1928, two of the first Komodo dragons to be imported to Europe arrived at the London Zoo. One of them, named Sumbawa, came in with a nasty mouth infection. His first several months at the zoo were a steady stream of antibiotics and gentle care, and by the time he’d recovered enough for display, he had come to be tolerant of handling and human interaction. In particular, he seemed to be genuinely fond of Joan. She was their primary caretaker and wrote many of the first popular accounts of Komodo dragon behavior in captivity. While recognizing their lethal capacity, she also wrote about how smart they are and how inquisitive they could be. In her account published in The Wonders of Animal Life, she said that "they could no doubt kill one if they wished, or give a terrible bite" but also that they were “as tame as dogs and even seem to show affection.” To demonstrate this, she would take Sumbawa around on a leash and let zoo visitors interact with him. She would also hand-feed Sumbawa- pigeons and chickens were noted to be favorite food, as were eggs. 

Joan died in 1931 at the age of 34. By that time she was Doctor Procter, as the University of Chicago had awarded her an honorary doctorate. Until her death, she still remained active with the Zoological Society of London- and she was still in charge of her beloved reptiles. Towards the end of her life, Joan needed a wheelchair. But that didn’t stop her from hanging out with her giant lizard friend. Sumbawa would walk out in front of the wheelchair or beside it, still on leash- she’d steer him by touching his tail. At her death, she was one of the best-known and respected herpetologists in the world, and her innovative techniques helped shape the future of reptile care. 

He tries to make you jealous (Zach Dempsey)

shit, so i’ve been in love with thirteen reasons why recently. it’s got me hooked. zach dempsey has been one of my crushes on the show, so here’s one based on this prompt. i’d love taking suggestions! ring me up if you have any ideas- or, better yet, drop by my ask if you want me to make any more for you.

prompt: “i like you a lot, so i tried getting you jealous,” ft. zachary dempsey

Originally posted by pitterpratter


“Ah shit, Y/N,” Jess Davis groans as she wiggles into the tight row of cushioned chairs, trying to make her way to the middle of the line next to you. You giggle as the popcorn spills all around her clenched hand and into the laps of everyone nearby. There are whimpers of “Sorry, sorry!” and grunts before she finally lands into the cushioned chair next to you and sighs. “Ah Jesus, I didn’t know that would be so hard.”

"Maybe you should lay off the gummy worms,” You put in, and laugh as she glares at you and hits your arm. Your hand digs in the popcorn and you stuff a handful into your mouth, the satisfying crunch as you chew making you moan. Ah, popcorn. Jess rips open a pack of the gummies and snorts at you. “Maybe save those noises for Dempsey, hon.”

You choke on a kernel as she purses her lips trying not to laugh, her eyes steadying on the previews onscreen. A few snickers make it out either way, and you scowl at her and stuff more handfuls in your mouth.

Zach Dempsey and you, to put it lightly, were not friends. It was difficult to push you into a room together and not expect a night of sour jabs and endless bickering. Everyone at school knew it, and it was something that happened way before you were even freshmen. There was never a time you weren’t at each other’s throats. One time, he’d spilled liquor down the front of your dress at some party and you’d hidden his pants in a bush while he was in the hot tub later that night. Lately it’d been more of a joke between your friends, with Jessica mockingly swooning how romantic you two would be. 

The lights start to dim and you wiggle back into your seat, ready for some good old romcom- and then the Paramount clip cuts into black for a moment, making you groan and try to dodge whoever was blocking your view. You crane your entire body and glare daggers at the idiot who interrupted your film before it even started. You loved your movies, and you were pretty serious about getting the “full movie theatre experience” (which Jess liked to mock). Please, you were paying a good four dollars for a movie you could watch for free online. Your eyes rise up to the back of his head, taking in a mess of straight black hair, broad shoulders and the school’s infamous Letterman jacket hanging on them. You memorized the back of that head. You knew those shoulders.

It was Zach Dempsey. With him were Jason Friar and Justin Foley, all wearing their Lettermans. You felt Jess shift in her seat at the sight of them. Wrapped in Zach’s arm was a smaller girl, snuggled into his shirt and playing with his fingers around her neck. They scooched into the seats almost directly in front of you, with the girl turning her head suddenly and getting the tips of her ponytail in Zach’s mouth. He swats it away, annoyed, but smiles instantly when she turns her head to look at him.

“Oh no,” You moan, making Jess snicker at you. You don’t miss the way her eyes flicker to Foley and turn away. “Just what I needed.”

"Who’s the girl?” Jess wonders, squinting. “Not a cheerleader. That’s Jenny, I think. Or her friend Bryana. I can’t be sure. We have Com with them.”

"Ugh, who cares,” You roll your eyes and try to turn to the movie. As long as they don’t ruin your film. This was some good stuff showing- if you focused enough, maybe you could ignore them. Jess shrugs and follows suit. You take a sip of your cherry cola as Martin Freeman jogs up into the scene.

The movie drifts by, but you find that you don’t enjoy it as much as you would have. Your eyes keep landing on the back of Dempsey’s head- and as much as you hated it, his arm around the girl’s. Your popcorn started tasting sour. You focus on some surfer guy’s abs an hour in but your mind keeps drifting somewhere else. Suddenly, before you can even blink, Zach cranes his neck slowly and looks directly at you, as if he knew you were there the entire time. He catches you looking and his cheeks tinge pink as he whips back around. Jess snickers. “That’s like, the fourth time he’s done that.”

"What?” You blink. Wouldn’t you have noticed? Jess takes a slurp of her drink. “Yeah, didn’t you notice? I mean, he’s had like two bathroom breaks. Both times he’d looked right at you before he took his seat.”

You decide not to say anything and reach out for a gummy worm. You keep watch, but Zach never craned his head again.

The movie ends before you know it, and Jess is a mess. You can’t stop laughing at her state, and after a while she laughs with you and dabs at her tears with paper napkins, but her mascara’s everywhere. “Shit, Y/N, why aren’t you crying with me?” She scowls, and starts hicupping. You try to hide your smile. You find it best not to tell her that you were staring at other things than the movie.

The lights flick back on and the people file out. You grab your empty popcorn buckets and leave, but not before Jess excuses herself to the comfort room to freshen up. You drop the buckets in the trash can near the snacks counter in the lobby and wait for her, waving a hand at Hannah Baker, who was filling up drinks at the soda fountain. Your hand travels to your back pocket and realize your phone is missing, so you run back into the cinema’s swinging doors hoping not to find it lodged in between seats with a wad of chewed up gum.

You find something even more tramautizing. Sitting on Zach Dempsey’s lap was his date, clutching his face with her pale hands and making out with him. He’s fidgeting in his seat, but trying to keep still. You note that his hands are on the cup holders and not on her waist. Your face screws up and you groan in disgust, picking your phone up from floor. “Christ, Dempsey, get a room.”

Zach’s eyes widen and he scrambles up, pushing the girl out of his lap. “Yeah? Well, this was an empty room ‘til you showed up, Y/N.”

You snort, tucking your phone into your back pocket. “You’re a pig, Dempsey.” There are mumbles of "Ooh”’s from Foley as you stalk back to the entrance, where Jess was waiting for you, ready for some milkshakes at Rosie’s. You loop your arm in hers, failing to hear the “Shit, man,” and swears from inside the theatre.

-

You head into school next Monday with a great start, munching on your bagel as you make it to your locker. You’re wearing an oversized hoodie and high waisted jeans, but it doesn’t stop the jocks from whistling when you pass by. You roll your eyes at them and chew on your bagel as you turn the corner. High school boys were too immature. No wonder you never found the want to date one.

Passing by you in the hallway was Zach Dempsey, crowded with his band of loud friends who are laughing and pushing each other. You meet his eye and he stops, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. You roll your eyes and look away, and you can almost hear him sigh in defeat. Someone slaps him on the shoulder and whistles as you walk by. “Daaamn, Dempsey, you gotta let us share.” You don’t see him shove the guy and stalk off.

The first half of the day passes by like a breeze. By the time fourth period ends, you barely feel like the day has started. You head out for the cafeteria, stacking all your books in your arms and making it through the door, but it wasn’t long before you could hear footsteps running after you. “Hey, wait up, Y/N!”

You turn around and groan, continuing to walk. “Dempsey.” You try not to glance as he jogs up next to you and ruffles his hair, staring at you with this half grin of his you didn’t want to admit you liked.

“Uh, hey.” “Something you need?”

“No, uh, actually, I wanted to talk to you.” He looks at you sheepishly.

“Okay, talk.”

“Um, you look nice today,” He offers, biting his cheek. You stop, staring at him in disgust. “What?” He trails. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding with me.” You shake your head in disbelief and keep walking.

“What’s wrong?” He keeps up. “Seriously, Dempsey, are you hitting on me now?” “And why would that be so terrible?”

“Geez, Dempsey, what is wrong with you?” You deadpan. “You are such an ass, you know that? Do you always treat girls like shit?” You gape at his blank face. “Jenny. From last Saturday. You think it’s OK to throw girls around like that?”

“What? No! I- uh, Jenny and I aren’t serious, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He winces, scratching his neck.

“Yeah, right. Of course not.”

“Look, can I take you out this weekend? To Rosie’s maybe? I’ve wanted to maybe get to be with you out of school. We could go to the movies?” You’re at the cafeteria doors now, but Zach shuts them with his left arm, blocking the way in front of you. You snort. “You can’t be serious.” You watch as his face falls and his mouth twitches.

“What’s so bad about going out with me?”

“God, you are such a jerk, Zach!” You groan, throwing your free hand in exasperation. He winces at the sound of his name being used so hatefully- he’s only ever heard you say Dempsey. He tries to forget about all the times he’s dreamed of his name coming out of your mouth, but decides he hates it when you yell it at him. “You think it’s fun, don’t you? Having no respect for girls whatsoever. You get off buttering them up with kisses and flowers and take them to the movies only to ignore them completely a day or two later. Who, in their right mind, would ever want to go out with someone like you?”

“I only ever wanted to go to that fucking movie theatre because I heard you were going to be there!” His voice rises to a shout. It echoed through the halls, and you wince knowing someone would hear. “You think I wanted to watch that stupid chick flick, with all that shit about high heels and prom? Fuck, I never even liked Jen! Why would I when I’ve always wanted someone else?”

His breath was heavy. Suddenly it was hard to swallow. You try to stand your ground, staring at him. “Nice one. You think it’d be easy for me to believe that, what with your list of conquests and a new girl making out on your desk each week? You must be daft, Zach Dempsey.”

He scowls. “I never wanted them. Never. I just- I just thought that maybe if you saw that everyone wanted me, just maybe you would have wanted me too.” His face softens, and he starts fiddling with his fingers. “Okay, I get it. You could never want me. I know, I just thought I could change that somehow. I’m used to getting my way, you know. Girls flock me, throw themselves at me. I’m used to getting everything I want, but then you’re here, in front of me, and fuck, I’ve never wanted to kiss anything more in my life.”

“Okay,” You say softly, before you can stop yourself. He barely hears it, but his ears perk up. “What’d you say?”

“I said okay,” You clear your throat, and bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling as his lips form into a helpless grin. “Saturday night, Rosie’s?”
“Fuck yes!” He fistbumps the air, then stops as soon as he realises you’re still in front of him. You giggle and hide your face in your hands as he leans forward without thinking, grabbing you by the waist and lifting you in the air. You couldn’t help your cheeks from turning red. Zach Dempsey was adorable. He really was.

“Okay, I’ll see you in Trig?” He asks, palming his phone in his front pocket. He’d have to tell Foley, he was thinking. Man, his best friend would be so proud. His head was rushing when he swooped in and pressed his lips to your flushed cheek. “I can’t wait.”




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unpopular opinion: there’s no way we can get a great garnet episode at this point

aka why i can understand why garnet stopped having episodes dedicated to her.

this isnt to justify the lack of episodes dedicated to her, but rather my anger and frustrations with the crewniverse for repeatedly stunting any development for her and turning her into a really bland and overly forgiving mom character

garnet transformed from this mysterious mother figure that would do quirky things and have spouts of anger to a faux progressive happy go lucky character (odlaws’ put my issue into words perfectly if you wanna understand it more)

like back in season 1? what were garnet’s flaws:

she was awkward, she would turn violent if you pushed her hard enough, she over estimates steven, she can lose focus easily, her stoic persona made her come off as uncaring and intimidating

after jailbreak, keeping it together and cry for help you would think garnet would face new conflicts such as trust issues, dealing with PTSD, coping with horrific imagery, letting things go, etc

but no. we never get any of that. we’re not ALLOWED to get any of that. instead all that emotion and turmoil is given to ruby and sapphire. really godbless these characters, i still love them to death and despite some of my issues with keystone motel, its still a really solid and enjoyable ep. But this arc was supposed to be about garnet being hurt. pearl was jealous of garnet and pearl hurt garnet. when pearl was insulting sugilite no one went “how rude of pearl to insult amethyst and garnet”. We all understood that sugilite was a separate identity who made her own decisions and garnet and amethyst weren’t influencing it. 

even when ruby and sapphire were angry about how they were hurt, RUBY was in the wrong because she didnt want to forgive pearl right away and sapphire told her that forgiving pearl was the right thing. ignoring the fact that that was a terrible message to send, that you need to just forgive people who hurt you right away just because they’re close friends, we never get a chance to see garnet vent and show her anger. even in Friend Ship, it ended with garnet playing the life coach for pearl DESPITE pearl not giving a proper apology and instead making bad excuses and using guilt tripping tactics (”im not strong enough” “im just useless”). its like the tumblr equivalent of someone going “i know i did something bad i get it im trash i deserve to die”. But garnet can’t shut that down can she? garnet cant receive a good apology can she? no she has to sit down and stroke Pearl’s ego for a goddamn minute.

garnet cant express her feelings because that’s wrong and bad! pearl can scream at a child and smack a wall simply because he tried to be supportive but garnet cant be mad. garnet’s not allowed to express her feelings. Friend Ship and Cry For Help made me realize something awful.

when garnet’s mad its not sympathetic, it’s scary

back in season 1 I forgave it since garnet was an imposing figure. she’s weird and mysterious. when she was mad it was over things like accidentally getting her glasses knocked off and ronaldo kidnapping steven. you could laugh at the situation with her and not really take her anger seriously enough

so you would think given the circumstances, the writers would understand that we should sympathize with garnet since she was violated. which isnt at all funny and nearly made her defuse.

But you’re not supposed to empathize with garnet. you’re not supposed to relate to her. You’re not supposed to go “poor garnet thats so messed up”. you’re instead supposed to react like “Yeah that was messed up but WHY is she mad at pearl :(”

amethyst complains about the house being awkward and taking neither sides despite it clearly being something that she should be supporting garnet in. steven doesnt support garnet either. when pearl snapped at steven in Rose’s Scabbard, steven chases after her and spends some time with her to lift her mood. But steven didn’t care to do anything for garnet. Steven didn’t invite her to come to the motel. Steven didn’t take the time to talk to her. and Steven didn’t make any attempt to relate to her.

and yet guess who did get the good ol’ “get coddled like a baby” treatment.

pearl. someone who was the cause of all this drama. who not only violated a friend several times, but delayed their mission and risked endangering everyone for the sake of feeling good about herself. but ofc the writer’s woobie fave could never do anything wrong :(

an entire arc that should’ve been meant to flesh out both garnet and pearl ended up shelving garnet and treating pearl like the victim in all of this. that SHE’S the one who needs help.

how insulting

a black woman who sang a song about the importance of love and fusion, who nearly fell apart when she saw forced fusions, is not the victim in this. the Cry For Help was about pearl. garnet needed to drop all her feelings for pearl.

And afterwards it just went downhill from there. its like the show completely gave up on garnet.

more focus and screen time was given to ruby and sapphire, who again i love, but get more development than garnet.

and finally we reach “Log Date 7 15 2″ or as i like to call it “the rise of magical negro garnet”

Peridot’s comments don’t piss off Garnet. You don’t see her get visibly angry. She barely musters a response except for mildly bored look. I wasn’t asking for “garnet beats up peridot for being a homophobe”, but I know very well that garnet would not be the type to just allow Peridot to spend several days making off color comments. Garnet looks bored to mildly pleased. 

You could call this character development except… not really? Garnet smiling more does not equal Garnet being way more tolerant of disrespectful behavior. But since this was an arc for peridot i forgave it a bit. 

But then came episodes like Gem Harvest where Garnet would seriously be the last person to just shut up and tolerate Andy’s disrespectful behavior. And in Mindful Education we see garnet using ruby and sapphire to express how they handle trauma rather than Garnet using her own emotions.

Garnet isn’t flawed anymore. Garnet doesn’t make awkward comments or act in ways that are oddly violent. She’s not brash or passionate. She’s just there to offer advice.

Finally there’s Room For Ruby, an episode that made me sit and go “there is no way in hell this is the same garnet before”

  • garnet was already cautious with Steven trying to train a corrupted gem, why would she not even moniter him teaching Navy about earth (i know they think she’s dumb but she’s not an animal and there’s a reason why the diamonds sent out those rubies)
  • garnet saw a future where navy did not care about being a crystal gem and did nothing. excuse me? Garnet says herself her future vision works like a river with various streams connecting to it, and relies on the future thats most common (she when she jumped in front of a spilled coffee pot to protect steven). garnet even understood at the end of the episode that bad futures are possible and risky, and if they’re most common she needs needs to act on it. why on earth would garnet see a future where navy takes the ship and leave and not do anything about it
  • she was waaaaay too laxed about steven failing to stop navy. remember when she said she was terrified of Blue Diamond? Or when she smashed a warp pad just for seeing peridot show up? 

garnet’s cool with everything now. she doesnt care. she became the most assertive member of the team to the most passive. she’s easy to convince and push. she lacks any depth outside of “quiet mom who smiles sometimes”.

i cant believe im saying this but i honestly thing the crew fucked with her personality harder than lapis. because at least in lapis’s case, there was no concrete identity for her.

but there was one for garnet, one we all loved. 

awkward, funny, quirky, sensitive and assertive garnet.

the writers could have developed it more and jailbreak made me believe we were going to see more of her. but instead the writers decided decided “Garnet with layered personalities is a bit too much for us. so we gotta simplify her. make her the walking shoulder to cry on. the friend that enables everything you do, she just loves steven and thats all that matters.”

and that’s all garnet is now. she’s almost like peridot. happy go lucky, overly forgiving and a shell of her former self.

and that makes me mad

Queens of Mewni & Their Cheek Symbol

So, I just thought to make the list of the cheek symbols of the Queens of Mewni for my next analysis (the significance of these cheek symbols). The first column were the image of the queens, second is their cheek symbols, third is symbolism’s meaning I got from the internet, and fourth is what traits I think you needed to get that symbol in the SVTFOE universe (in short, what the symbol signifies). 

SVTFOE Card Suite Symbolism speculation:

Heart - people with this symbol are very lovable and has a distinguishing “charm” that naturally attracts people and come to her side. They prioritize their relationship with others compared to anything else and usually let their heart dictates their action (emotional). They are often found as center of the group

Spade - people with this symbol wields strong and fearsome power, even more powerful than normal and typical queens.

Diamond - people with this symbol have the tendency to take the center of command and shoulder the burden and responsibility by their selves. They dress in jewelry and finery, conducting their selves as befitting of nobility.

Club - people with this symbol have the “common” mindset. They appreciate the values that works for the greater whole of society and hates anything that could destroy the social order they are comfortable and grew up in already.

Color symbolism speculation:

Shades of purple - elegance, nobility, regal

Yellow - bright, lively

Pink - lovely, feminine, 

White - harmony, power, everything (as it is combination of all colors of light. That’s why Moon said you must give everything if you want to “dip down”)


Keep reading

Your senior year roommate calls herself Clarity. She’s very small and rumpled and distant, and she goes for long walks in the forest south of campus when she’s frustrated. You aren’t friends, but you coexist peacefully. It’s enough.

The creature on your co-owned Walmart futon isn’t Clarity.

It looks like her. Enough to fool a casual observer, certainly. Enough to fool someone who hasn’t been soldering sterling silver for six hours. But you have, and the truth of silver lingers, and the Thing That Looks Like Clarity is sprouting delicate flowers from the skin of its bare shoulders.

It’s sitting cross-legged and perfectly, terribly still, tracking your eyes as you take all this in. When you sigh and set down your backpack, it says, “Hello, smith. There didn’t seem to be any sense in pretending.”

“Jeweler,” you say, and, “I go by Florence, these days. What should I call you?”

It blinks, languid and slow. “I’m not here to usurp. I’m a… placeholder.”

“It’s still confusing as shit, my guy.”

It considers this at length. Finally, with the air of one who has just solved a great puzzle, it says “Claire. We will know, the two of us.”

“Works for me. Nice meeting you, Claire.”

And that seems to be all there is to say. Your roommate’s been stolen by the Fair Folk, you’re living with a changeling, and there’s not much you can do about either of these things. You scroll through Instagram until it gets tired of watching you and wanders out into the hallway.

So that’s Claire.

Keep reading

Malec Fanfic Rec!

Malec writing goodies from amazing writers.These are some golden works

4 times Alec almost said I love you, and the one time that he actually did by sufferingbisexual

Alec realized he was in love with Magnus. However when will he be able to actually tell him.

Across the Hall by clato27

“'She looks just like your wife,’ Magnus said, offhandedly. His gaze tore back to Alec when he heard the other man choke on the coffee he was drinking. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, are you two not married.’ 'Uh, no,’ Alec said after recovering from his coughing fit. 'Izzy is my sister.'”

Aka, the “I fell in love with the pregnant girl across the hall’s brother” AU.

Addicted To You by @imawriteriwrite

Magnus Bane’s the head of his own company. Alec Lightwood is in his last year of law school. They’ve never met but have one thing in common: neither does relationships. Just one night stands. That is until they find themselves matched on a hookup app and suddenly one night is not enough.

Also known as the one where Magnus and Alec meet and think they can have no strings attached sex and not develop feelings.

Alecs Husband by NotEvenThat

Max misses Alec and finally demands that he go with Alec and his friend.. Even if Mom says no.

Amor Aeternus by @lolguess

In a world where the Clave encourages soulbonding you would think Magnus and Alec have it easy.

And Then I Met You by @everydayfandom

Sometimes someone comes along and throws you of your life path. And sometimes that’s not such a bad thing.

Bibliophile by @dorkberto

Despite what his sister thinks about his non-existent love life, Alec is not in danger of an oncoming descent into recluse crazy cat owner. For one; Church would eat his competitors for Alec’s undivided attention and two; Alec’s a little hung up over Magnus Bane.

Blue storm by @dorkberto

Ragnor was gone.

Ragnor was gone

Bright Lights, Small Town by @lecrit

When Magnus gets to Nashville, Indiana to handle his late mother’s will, he doesn’t expect to be forced to stay there for six months. Six months away from New York and lost in the wildness of the countryside.

It quickly appears that he is going to go through six months of living hell.

The fact that he hates the local veterinarian on sight isn’t helping.

Broken Arrows by @gibberish10

Over his parabatai’s missing, Alec lashes out at everyone, including Magnus Bane, his warlock lover.

Come Undone by @gibberish10

No one has asked him how he felt, but Alec did.

Complete Me by Maleciseverything

“What one loves in childhood stays in the heart forever.” -Mary Jo Putney

Drop It Like It’s Hot by @janoda

Alec tries to deal with people behaving differently since the wedding. He hadn’t counted on Dylan from Accounting.

Fusion by prfctdaze

Magnus gets the surprise of his life when he walks in to Jade Wolf.

Happy Birthday, Beautiful by @themagnusbane

The thing about having lived for centuries is that birthdays are no longer such a big deal. A pity no one told that to Magnus Bane’s party extraordinaire boyfriend: Alec Lightwood.

Hold me tightly by Tchell1

“I thought you had died, Alexander” Magnus finally said as a way of explaining himself “I saw you die”

Hypnotise by highlytrainedfangirl

Alec had a problem. One that was wrapped up in exquisite clothing and dusted in glitter. Alec was quickly realising that being around Magnus was terrible for his composure. Ignoring the fact that he could barely string a sentence together without tripping over his words, he’d discovered a new distraction: magic.

I found God but it wasn’t supposed to be by @intangibel

After closing a particularly spectacular legal case Magnus sends Ragnor a celebratory text only to find himself the victim of autocorrect and having to explain to a very handsome angel (Alec) that he isn’t God, no matter how much he wishes he was right now.

In The Cards by Obssesivecompulsivereadr

Magnus wore cardigans and baggy slacks. He owned two cats, and he lived in a home more suitable for an elderly mundane woman for a reason. He was to remain boring and unsuitable for most associations with people. He did not like attention, no matter how positive it might be. He was to seem eccentric and weird. Living a life focused on magic that was supposed to not exist.

Into You by @darrenchristsupastar

Alec has more layers than we may have previously thought

It’s Time To Lose Your Virginity, Brother Dearest by @themagnusbane

Magnus Bane is a famous stripper, used to pretty boys falling in love with him after one dance. The feeling is hardly ever mutual. But when he meets the freshly turned twenty-one year old Alec lightwood, he can’t take his eyes off him, and they find themselves in love quicker than they expected.

Looking at him by @jainsel-and-the-ships

Alec Lightwood is in love with his best friend and colleague Jace.
Jace is straight and at the moment he’s dating this Clary girl. Alec is certain it won’t last, as all his friend’s previous relationships.
Then there’s Magnus Bane, another co-worker and a man who sure knows how to make Alec feel embarrassed.
Something’s going on between Alec and Magnus.
Something’s going on between Jace and Clary too…

Magic and Rum by NotEvenThat

Shortly after the party, Magnus finds Max in the kitchen.

Make a home out of you by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion

“There is a delicate system in place and you are destroying it, Alexander Lightwood. Unhand my pants.”

“Now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear you say. You’re usually encouraging me to put my hands on your pants.”

Morning hair by @lollylokoala

While Magnus was completely aware of the effect Alec had on him, he didn’t know that a tiny little detail in Alec’s morning look could make his heart skipped a beat.

My Heart Smiles by pseudofoucault333 

Magnus is an interior designer who is dreading going to his yearly Christmas party and Alec a waiter who has dealt with more than enough Christmas cheer to last a lifetime. But when the two set eyes on the other across a crowded restaurant are they going to be destined for more when the festive season is over?

My True Love Gave To Me by @imawriteriwrite

Magnus Bane had a plan, a perfect Christmas Eve just like always. Hang out with his friends, bask in the Christmas Spirit. Then everything went wrong.

Now he’s stuck reliving the same day again and again and again. The bright side? Maybe Alec Lightwood isn’t as terrible as Magnus always thought.

Never Stand Between Two Mirrors by @oncethrown

Alec has enough on his plate right now. His parents are furious at him, Magnus Bane is making him feel things he’s trying so hard not to feel, his wedding is coming up, and his world is breaking apart.What he doesn’t need is a fussy mundane version on himself showing up in the Institute basement. What he doesn’t need is Magnus telling him that they’ll just have to wait for Seelie Magic to suck that version of himself back to his own dimension.But since when does Alec get what he needs?

Alternate Dimension Alec gets trapped in the Shadowhunter reality at some point after the “I know you feel what I feel” scene. The gang desperately tries to stop chaos from ensuing. 

Nothing But A Distraction by @actuallyredorchid

Clary doesn’t sneak away when Alec’s on the phone, so Alec accepts Magnus’ invitation to “go out for a drink”.

Off to a bad start by @fangtasticsaphael

“How did you manage to never run into him? He’s always helping with stuff and he’s even been at the institute about three weeks ago to strengthen the wards against further attacks from Valentine,” she replied and looked at her brother incredulously. Alexander scrunched up his nose and shrugged.

“Well, maybe I have better things to do than waiting around to watch some overrated warlock do magic tricks,” he commented a little defensively but it was the truth. He always had something to do and even when they were not out demon hunting, he had either paperwork to do or train.

“Pardon me, but I’m not just some overrated warlock. I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn and that title is well deserved, if I may say so. And I’m appalled that you refer to my magic as petty tricks. You Nephilim always act to high and mighty, yet you’re constantly in need of some tricks from overrated warlocks to help you out of some unnecessary dilemma,” a foreign voice interjected and Alec whirled around, fingers instinctively curling around his bow to be ready to attack if need be. The owner of the voice was not what Alexander had expected, to be honest.

Oh lover, hold on by @fireblazie

The mask and goggles clatter to the ground. Isabelle makes a choked noise, and Jace whispers, paper-thin, “Alec?”

Magnus stops breathing as Alec’s gaze—cold, dead, and empty—comes to rest impassively on them.

“Who the hell is Alec?”

(Loosely based on Captain America: The Winter Soldier.)

One Show Only by KouriArashi

It’s hard to stay in the closet when the guy you had a one-night stand with two nights ago turns out to be your new partner … but Alec will be damned if he isn’t going to give it a try.

People say crazy things by @ohlafraise

“But what I don’t get is why Magnus cares so much about a random shadowhunter,” Jocelyn said.

Simon winced. “Oh, boy.”

Pick up lines by Gracefanfics

Admittly maybe using pick up lines in the middle of your brother’s rune party was a bad idea.

Or 
A short fic about Alec not having great timing in using pick up lines on Magnus.

Shooting Pool by @malec-is-pretty

Magnus and Alec go on their date and a simple game of pool gets them a little wound up.

Somewhere safe to finally break by onefootintheboilinghotlava

With the war finally over, Magnus had time to be alone and his mind decided to bring up all the things and people he had lost in the war at once. At his own loft, with his two beloved cats sleeping soundly, Magnus broke down……

Tampons and Concealer? By onefootintheboilinghotlava

So Izzy sent Alec to get tampons and concealer…Alec was standing in the drugstore, not even sure where to begin, when a handsome stranger offered to help.

That’s your cue by @theleftboobgrabber

“Keep your hands to yourself,” Alec tells Magnus apropos of nothing.

Magnus frowns. “I’m on the other side of the table!” he protests… not that he wasn’t thinking about some light groping per say, but they’re in public, Alec might not be into it and, while he’s good at concealing it, Magnus does have manners. Sometimes.

My take on Magnus and Alec’s date.

The Choices of the Chosen by KouriArashi

The day after his 21st birthday, Alec is sent to the demonic court as a gladiator, where he makes both friends and enemies … along with meeting Magnus Bane, who doesn’t seem to fit in either category.

The Only Magic I Believe In (Is The Magic I Receive From Loving You) by @delilahbelle

Or, four gifts Alec gives Magnus.

“No one’s ever done anything like that for me before.”

Alec’s face softens. “Well, I’m going to do it for as long as I’m alive. So get used to it.”

The Second Kiss by @simonseroticfriendfiction

“So here we are.” Magnus said, taking a step closer to Alec.

Alec gulped and took a deep breath in through his nose. “Yeah, here we are.” He squeezed his fingers nervously in his fists as he caught Magnus glancing towards his lips. “I-I suppose you want me to kiss you?” He stuttered, voice faltering.

This Christmas (You’re Someone Special) by vulturemonem 

Last Christmas, Magnus Bane had his heart broken.

Again, and again, and again.

And he didn’t think it would be mended anytime soon. He certainly didn’t think he’d be ready to let anybody in. Until a beautiful boy walks into his shop, and steals his breath with shy glances, kind words, and a fantastic coffee machine.

Maybe this Christmas will be better.

Or: In which Camille is awful, Ragnor and Raphael are an old married couple, and Magnus can’t help but be enamoured by Alec Lightwood.

This Night Is Not Forever by @isabellebiwoods

Alec Lightwood is a happily settled down man in a loving, caring relationship. But things weren’t always that way… and once upon a time, Alec used his Valentine’s Day to celebrate the spirit of the night as much as possible.

aka. world inverted legendary lothario alec lightwood

Too Much is Never Enough by Obsessivecompulsivereadr

They are on opposite edges of the same ideal. Alec so young, and Magnus so much older. Alec a blessed acolyte of the Angel, Raziel. Magnus the abandoned son of the Greater Demon, Asmodeus. Magnus with so much more unimportant and irrelevant experience, and Alec with none. They could not be more different if they tried, and yet, they are also the same. A matched set of uncertainty and inability to accept that someone might want them for exactly who they are.

Top Three by @nebulein

So.” Alec flops back onto the bed, sprawled in a lazy heap on his back, sated and boneless. Magnus is already lying on his belly, basking in the afterglow, and he surreptitiously steals closer, burrowing against Alec’s side. “Best sex of my life.”

Magnus hums, resting his head on his arms, revelling in the thrill those words send through him.

“Or, well,” Alec hazardously waves an arm around, “easily in the top three.”

Magnus giggles. He has no idea where that came from. It’s uncharacteristic for him. Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn is usually much too dignified to giggle. But then Alec turns his head and grins at Magnus, lopsided and loopy but brilliant, oh so brilliant, warming Magnus from the inside out and maybe this is exactly the kind of situation which calls for a giggle, so Magnus will allow it. Just this once.

“How about you?”

Twenty-One-Year-Old Alec Lightwood by Obsessivecompulsivereadr

Alec tries not to want Magnus, but it goes about as well as all those other things Alec’s tried not to want throughout the years. Which is… badly

Warm In Your Light by @actuallyredorchid

It’s far too easy, letting himself be swept away.

(S02E07 missing scene)

We must choose to reach out and touch by Ambros

Magnus holds out his hand, a silver chain running around his middle finger and wrist, and Alec doesn’t have the time to process it – to think, doesn’t have the time to realise what’s going to happen because he has to take it and he does, electricity dancing through their fingers and down his back and he tries not to think about it, holds out his own hand for Jace and feels unbalanced; he knows Jace’s touch, remembers it from roughing each other up when they were kids even though he tried to forget it, to turn it into a ghost when he understood, but Magnus’ is new and smooth and unassuming and he feels uncomfortable, doesn’t know what to do with it.

Who Ya Gonna Call? By @menckenschrestomethy

“You have to—“

“Help you?” Magnus filled in dryly.

Or: The Six Times Magnus helped someone, and the one time they try to help him

Will you be my best friend? Will you be my last? by @lightwoodlesbians

or the 'you pretended to be my partner bc my ex wouldn’t stop talking to me’ au

You Are Certainly My Poison of Choice by iktwabrokenbone

So there he was. Midnight, at a party. Preparing himself to do something with a guy. To spend one night getting all of this- this unspeakable desire out of his system. He needed to forget it before he made a mistake and ruined his career, his chances of becoming Head of the New York Institute.
 

(Alec’s panic attacks were getting worse and worse and maybe if he spent one night with a guy he could get it out of his system, and he could forget being gay and loving Jace. But nothing went that smoothly, so of course Alec’s one night stand had to be Magnus Bane, and they had to keep bumping into each other. It wasn’t like Alec wanted to understand his emotions, anyway.)

For more Malec Fanfics

anonymous asked:

I can't help but hate levi///han now that levi is a dick to hange and doesn't deserve her I read this theory that questiong thing from this month means they are not even friends anymore bcoz levi doesn't feel comfortable enough to call hange by the nickame he had for her anymore and that's sad and also makes me angry because hange is always so nice to him and levi is a douche

Eh, that’s not how I see it.

IMO him dropping that nickname means 1) he legitimately respects her new position and wants to place an emphasis on that by example (humanity’s strongest soldier respecting the new commander is a big deal), and 2) he’s actively trying not to be a dick by throwing out a nickname that is NO LONGER APPROPRIATE – not just due to her rank, but, you know, the fact that she’s lost/damaged/ruined one of her eyes, now. 

The situation that ruined her eye was extremely traumatic: it got her work assistant killed–not to mention all of her colleagues: people’s she’s known for years of her career. This includes Erwin, whose shoes she has to fill right away. I doubt she wants the reminder of that terrible day spat out of Levi’s mouth like it’s some kind of a funny joke when there’s very little chance of her being able to see it that way anymore. I know everyone thinks Hange would take it with a grain of salt and all that (cracking jokes galore), but she has feelings and again: the situation was very traumatic. You don’t see Levi cracking jokes about his traumatic experiences, do you?

Fandom conveniently forgets that Hange is a person who experiences human emotion because they’re desperate to keep the ship dynamic for levihan the same forever.

And look, until we got this information, I think interpreting Hange as the sort of person who wanted normalcy there to distract from the depressing and painful reality was believable and realistic.

But with this information it seems that’s not actually the case.

And that’s okay! There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay for your headcanons to be proven wrong on occasion.

And listen to me, here: people change. They grow, and it’s not always apart. Sometimes they grow together, especially after they’ve been through something rough. The fight in Shiganshina was a rough experience. 

Hange has been through a surprising lot, though she’s barely focused on during those chapters. Almost the entire military branch she works in was wiped out. She lost countless acquaintances and friends. Now she has to lead what’s left of it…and without an eye. I wish fandom would stop laughing it off like it’s a cute “fun” injury because it looks “cool.” It was probably highly traumatic and painful for her, not just in the moment, either. The fact that it took so long for her to get treatment might have even been the real reason she lost it. The eye loss is associated with all kinds of trauma, both physical and mental. She’s a soldier, she’s accepted that something like this could happen, but that doesn’t make it easier to deal with; it doesn’t make any of her losses less painful.

So let’s talk about the responsibility that’s instantly clamped down on her shoulders after this, because Hange doesn’t even get a second to herself to just, you know, mourn or be sad. She’s the commander now. And while the SC might have sealed the wall(s), it was at a great price (and still under Erwin’s command almost entirely). Hange is going to have to fight for respect from pretty much everyone. Mission accomplished and all, but now that the walls are sealed, humanity is safe again lmao fuck the Survey Corps do we even need that branch anymore? Hange is going to have to present a case to save humanity and exterminate the titans and she’s going to need all the respect she can get to do that. She’s going to need more soldiers because <10 isn’t going to be enough. She’s going to need money and supplies and gear. I hate saying this, but it might not be something she’s capable of presenting on her own merit because she’s largely unknown by the people. (Her newspaper shenanigans help her case but only in that specific area.) However, humanity’s strongest soldier has pretty much all the respect from everyone in this world. If he has her back and is standing proudly at her side, it probably helps her case immensely. (He believes her, he believes in her, this isn’t some kind of a sick joke.)

I want to remind everyone, too, that when the newspapers start telling “the truth” of humanity’s situation, it’s like a 50/50 split? Lots of people think it’s bullshit. That doesn’t help Hange. Like I said: she needs all the respect and the backup she can get. Literally every ounce.


IMO, Levi dropping the nickname “shitty-glasses” was the best thing that could have happened to the ship. I know people think it means they’re not “equals” anymore, but everyone’s focusing on the wrong thing, here.

Up to this point in the manga we’ve seen Levi treat Hange more or less equally, but even in his attempts to comfort her he’s rough. He calls her by a rude nickname that we’re never sure is supposed to be endearing or not. For all we know, he means it in the way a coworker might call the fat guy in the group “porkchop” or other kids might be mean to a classmate by calling them “four-eyes.” Speculation and headcanons aside, canon hasn’t ever really given us a clear idea of what that nickname meant to Levi, let alone to Hange. She lets him call her it, but that doesn’t tell us much. For all we ever knew, she was used to being treated poorly by her peers.

However, with this new information, it sounds much more like the nickname “shitty-glasses” was, coming from Levi, an awkwardly endearing nickname–one he meant no harm with.

And we see that because he drops it. He goes out of his way to consciously stop a habit of his that would seem disrespectful to other people regardless of what it originally meant between them. Levi respects Hange and this is how he shows it. That’s a big deal.

I’d also like to point out, again, that it’s very likely he does this out of more than just respect for his commanding officer. Levi is hardly one to follow conventions, after all.

Hange is his friend. He cares about her safety and we’ve seen this (beneath the chapel). We’ve also seen him clumsily care about the place she’s in mentally (post-Nick’s death). I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that he cares about her feelings, too. And if this nickname drudges up emotional backlash and trauma for her, then by dropping it he’s showing that he cares about her and respects her as his friend.

Lance headcanon

Ok so we know that Pidge is a computer mastermind: she hacked into the garrison(probably multiple times), was able to create a complete fake identity, and still created more advanced scanners than what the garrison had.

We know that hunk is possibly a engineering genius: Even if he puts it more to cuisine, he could easily build a rocket engine out of scrap parts. We’ve seen him fix alien power thrusters that he has never seen before, or at least had very little knowledge of.

So why would they place the two smartest people the garrison has seen in probably years, with Lance? Someone that everyone thinks is just an average pilot? Someone who only got into the fighter pilot classes because Keith dropped out? But what if he wasn’t just an average cargo pilot that got lucky like everyone thought?


I headcanon that Lance is a tactical prodigy! A strategic mastermind! That he can come up with some of the most brilliant war tactics and battle plans that would trump any generals ideas for years to come!

Think about him using his gift to help organize some sort of Cuban resistance against its corrupted government( I don’t know the real situation in Cuba, or if anything is going on in Cuba, but just follow this for the head canon…au-ish thing I got going on.) and his plans help the people win against their government, and Lance is just happy now that his family will be safe and happy in their home.

The American government hears about this Cuban boy who pretty much lead the way to freedom for his country, about his prodigy status. And then they find out that the kid wants to be a pilot. And they take advantage of this.

They give this Cuban boy a free pass to America to go to the Garrison to become a pilot, and all he has to do is make battle plans for them every now and then. And of course Lance takes the opportunity, his whole family standing behind his decision to be the best pilot to come out of the Garrison.

Now they put Lance into the cargo pilot class at first, to keep him sated, and for awhile it works out. Lance is doing great in his classes, he’s even #1 in the cargo pilot class, and he sends the government any tactics, battle plans, etc. that he creates. Lance even made friends with his roommate, who is an incredible engineer and friend. But Lance wants more, he doesn’t want to stay a cargo pilot, he wants to be a fighter pilot, so he works harder in school to be able to move up. only problem? Keith took the last placement in the fighter pilot class, and now Lance’s government work is kind of lacking its usual brilliance.(can you blame him? His dream has been thwarted by some guy with a mullet! Of course he isn’t really doing his best.)

But then Keith gets kicked out because of some anger problems. So the higher ups make Iverson move up Lance and Hunk to fighter pilot and engineer, hoping that this will get Lance back into his usual groove. Iverson doesn’t like this, but orders are orders. So Lance and Hunk move up, and Pidge joins the group. But that doesn’t mean Iverson has to be nice to Lance, so he does all that he can to remind him that he’s only there because of Keith.

And then they all find Shiro, then join Voltron, and Lance can’t wait to help the team with his thing! He can’t wait to show them that he isn’t just a good shot, but an even better strategic mastermind! But the only one who really knows about Lance’s gift is Hunk, after long nights of listening to Lance talk in English and Cuban about tactical advantages and every battle plan he’s thought of. The others just think that Lance is just a flirt, who doesn’t really take anything seriously. So whenever he tries to put in his own ideas, he get shut down before he can really tell hem his ideas. It makes him start questioning his talent, and his place on the team.

Then during a mission, things go south. Fast. And Lance tries to offer up his plan on how to get out of there, but again he gets shut down again, something like “ shut up Lance! We’re trying to figure out how to get out of here, we don’t need your stupid jokes!” From who, that’s kinda up in the air at the moment. Then, uh oh! Lance gets captured while their escaping!

And Hunk is pissed. Beyond pissed! As soon as the team meets up to try and talk, Hunk goes OFF ON THEM!!! He tells everyone how Lance is a prodigy tactician and strategic genius, and that if they only listened to Lance than everyone might have made it out safe and Lance wouldn’t have been captured. And of course everyone is now feeling bad that they’ve always ignored Lance or shut him down before he could say his ideas. And Slav is now freaking out, because they have technology that can take information from people’s minds, and if the Galra find out about Lance’s talent, that could be really bad for them.

At first, the Galra do the usual thing; torture, regular beatings, rarely feeding him. But he isn’t spilling anything, so they use that machine on Lance, hoping to get information on Voltron. But when they find out that his brain is filled with incredible battle plans, you can bet your ass that they continue to use this machine to use his tactics against voltron. And all the while Lance is in constant pain, for the machine, from his injuries, and he can’t stop it. He can’t protect his friends, instead the thing everyone has called ‘a gift’ is going to hurt his friends. And he can’t do anything to stop it.

Wow, that was a lot longer than I was planning. but yeah, lance being crazy brilliant. I totally headcanon it. So I hoped you like, and if you got any questions, don’t be afraid to ask them!

anonymous asked:

bucky tell us a story about darcy

darcy lewis goes drinking with thor.

that alone should be enough to send your imaginations spinning off to wild places, but that, my friends, is only where our story begins.
it is also something you should know, just in general, in case you happen to encounter darcy lewis.
she’s tazed a god twice, and she goes drinking with thor. on a regular basis.
the first time thor wanted to go drinking after i showed up, lewis was there too. and naturally, if thor was going out so was she. neither of them knew us newbie avengers well yet, but being sociable sort of people, they invited us to tag along. scott immediately agreed, but sam was caught up doing some beta testing in the labs with tony, and said he would catch up when they were done.
so darcy, thor, scott and i went out drinking.
fun fact about thor: it takes him approximately one million alcohols to get drunk, but once he’s there, he likes to sing. preferably epic ballads of victory in battle, but he’s pretty much game for any catchy song that will get a bar excited. that being the case, lewis and thor’s go-to midgardian bar is a karaoke joint.
im sure you begin to see where things are going wrong.
fun fact about darcy lewis? she can also hold her alcohol, but cannot carry at tune. like. at all.
that doesnt stop her from singing, mind you. gotta respect a lady who knows shes terrible but enjoys herself anyway.
scott apparently loves karaoke. i dont know why that surprised me, but it did. even more surprising? hes not actually that bad, although like 90% of his song choices were bruce springsteen. no clue why. anyway, thor was delighted by having a buddy who was not only willing but able to sing with him, and after scott got over his star-struck-ness they had a pretty great time.
it was a good thing that thor and lewis went to that bar on the regular, because im sure any place that hadnt been prepared for them would have kicked all of us out. as it was, they finally booted us out the door after a rousing rendition of ‘wrecking ball’ had most of the bar on their feet. and broke two tables.
(thor apparently settles his tab there in asgardian gold, so no hard feelings from the bartenders.)
the night was young and all of us had enough booze in our systems that we decided to catch a cab back to the tower and see if we could rope anyone else into some shennanigans. thor was buzzed at least, which for thor means his voice is even boomier and his gestures are more expansive–you gotta be ready to duck. scott was drunk, no question about it, and that was probably why theyd wound up singing wrecking ball in the first place. scott’s a cheerful if floppy, “ i love you, i love all of you guys, i love everyone in this bar ” kind of drunk, and was mostly travelling by merit of being wrapped around thors bicep. i was a little buzzed myself, and lewis had had nearly as much as i did. remarkably, she seemed to be chugging along pretty well, some weaving and slurring aside. the lady lives up to her god-tazing reputation.
anyway, we got out of the cab at the tower and started making our way to the doors. scott had partially detached from thors arm and needed extra support, so i was helping keep him from capsizing while lewis trailed a few steps behind the three of us, making color commentary of our three stooges act.
and then out of nowhere, she just…yelled.
all three of us whipped around as quickly as three drunk superpeople can, just in time to see darcy lewis dish out what looked to be a pretty dang textbook perfect roundhouse kick to the chest of some poor guy.
the guy went down. lewis went down too, because the kick had totally overbalanced her. thor and i dropped scott and ran over to help.
which was when sam sat up and said ‘that was a hell of a kick’
because apparently hed finished up his testing and gone out to catch up with us, made it partway down the block to call a cab, then saw us getting out of our taxi. he jogged back–not being particularly stealthy, but we were drunk–and put his hand on lewis’s shoulder to get her attention.
lewis, having pretty poor vision even sober, and worse vision when drunk and without her glasses, just saw some big male figure who’d popped up out of nowhere and grabbed her by the shoulder.
so naturally she kicked him in the chest.
she apologized profusely, but the rest of us thought it was pretty funny. and sam was impressed the next morning when he discovered that she’d left a visible footprint on his chest.
darcy insists she has no idea why she did it. or where she learned to kick like that.
the rest of us have just chalked it up to mysterious darcy lewis powers.

A Kryptonian and an Amazonian: Kara and Diana (and the wonders of ice cream)

based on this post from @dealanexmachina and @randomthingsthatilike123 – https://avidreaderffn.tumblr.com/post/161453797376/i-need-diana-kara-fic-stat


Alex grins over from across the diner at her little sister and her new friend, leaning conspiratorially into each other in a booth at Noonan’s. 

Both in glasses – one to conceal her identity, one because why the hell not? – both moaning as they dig into the massive ice cream sundae on the table between them.

“I only had to cross an ocean to encounter this delicious cream,” Diana is telling her. “You had to cross – what did you call it?”

“The Phantom Zone,” Kara nods, closing her eyes as she leaves the spoon upside down in her mouth a little longer than necessary, oblivious to the way Diana stops eating to stare wide-eyed at Kara’s lips.

“Was it lonely? That Phantom Zone?”

Kara shrugs as she opens her eyes, and Diana wonders at the kind of blue.

“I don’t remember it. Being stuck there. Except sometimes in dreams. Alex would wake me up screaming when we were kids. My planet would be burning and I’d be stuck in what felt like an abyss, in my pod, and I couldn’t…”

Diana reaches a hand out for Kara’s, and their eyes lock hard.

“It must have been beautiful. Krypton.”

Kara’s smile returns even as tears prick her eyes. “My father used to take me to the edges of Argo City to watch our sun rise – it was red, not yellow like this one – and so much of our cities were just… awash in silver, in our technology, and it could have been sterile, I guess.”

She adjusts her glasses and swipes her spoon through a river of chocolate fudge and licks it off slow, thoughtful. Accidentally seductive, even as Diana’s heart bleeds along with her words.

“But it wasn’t. The way the rising sun would reflect off of all that metal… it was anything but cold. It was… Anyway. It’s gone, now.”

Diana shakes her head slowly. “Not in your heart, Kara Zor-el. Nothing can ever truly be gone. Not if you keep it alive inside you.”

Kara sighs and creates the ultimate sundae spoonful: wet walnuts, fudge,ice cream, a piece of banana, sprinkles, whipped cream. She offers it out to Diana, who accepts, and her eyes fly wide as she moans so loudly, so joyously, that Alex – now joined by her girlfriend – isn’t the only one in Noonan’s turning to stare. Kara giggles.

“The first time I tried it, I got so excited I started flying without even trying to. Alex tried to hold me down but wound up just coming along for the ride.”

Diana laughs, and it’s light and it’s happy and it’s so damn full. 

“Your sister’s a brave warrior, it seems. Angry. Frightening, perhaps. But loyal. And that police woman seems to make her smile more easily.”

Kara nods and they both glance over at Alex and Maggie, who catch their eyes and wave. 

“She’s the only reason I ever felt at home on this planet. Alex. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

Diana thinks of Steve, of gas and of planes. She thinks of her aunt, of generals and of last breaths.

Kara doesn’t have J’onn’s telepathy, but she knows anyway. She knows that look.

She sees it in the mirror far too often.

Nearly every time she looks.

“My aunt died, too. Was killed. She survived – she survived, I got her back, a piece of my home, and then she – “ Kara shudders, and tries not to think of Alex. 

Alex, protecting her space father.

Alex, loyal to a fault.

Alex, her sister, her world, who somehow became a hardened soldier without her noticing.

“She died. In battle. A renowned General.” Kara smiles softly, and it’s Diana, this time, who tries her hand at creating the perfect spoonful of sundae and offers it to Kara.

“I thought the world would never be able to go on when I lost my general. My mother’s sister. It felt like… you know what it felt like, Kara Zor-el.”

Kara nods, and remembers holding Astra, dying. Remembers holding Alex, weeping. Remembers holding her hand out for J’onn, breathing, breathing. Breathing.

“I have a projection of my mother. Maybe we could try to make one of your aunt. At the DEO. It… it’s not the same, and sometimes… sometimes I don’t know if she left me with the burden of caring for Earth or the burden of righting the wrongs I didn’t even know she’d done, but it… it’s comforting, anyway. Being able to see her. Talk to her. Even if it’s not really her.”

Diana’s eyes sparkle at this girl’s generosity. The way this woman bears the weight of multiple planets on shoulders that somehow still manage to look carefree. 

This warrior who doesn’t at all think herself a warrior.

But perhaps that’s what makes her such a powerful one.

“How have you done it, Kara? Seen all you’ve seen, and still… Ares told me that this world doesn’t deserve me, that I should rule it, enslave it, rather than… they kill and they torture and they… how have you done it?”

Kara pokes at their slowly disappearing, slowly melting sundae with her spoon.

“Ice cream helps,” she smiles softly, and Diana looks at her like she’s the sun. Because maybe she is.

“Love,” she amends more seriously. “If I let go of it, I… Alex does terrible things. The person I love most in the world. She hurts people, and she thinks… she thinks it’s alright, because it’s always in defense of someone she loves. She doesn’t think about the people who love the person she’s beating. Or, she does, but… after. Maggie’s helping her with it. J’onn too. And I’m trying. Sometimes I feel like it’s my fault, like I turned her into someone this ruthless, but I… I guess what I’m saying is… I love her. I love her more than my own life. All of her. And she helps me understand. Humans. This planet. The things people do out of fear. Out of love. Out of terror of losing love. The people you’ve found, Diana. They have to be your anchor. Otherwise it… otherwise it consumes you. The things Ares said to you. And you can’t let it. You’re too good.”

“As are you, Kara. As are you.”

Kara licks her lips and lets her eyes lock hard into Diana’s. 

“You know what also helps?”

Diana shakes her head, her eyes starting to sparkle, her lips starting to quirk up into an excited smile.

“Pool,” Kara grins.

“We have pools on Themyscira! Mystical pools, with water that – what?” she trails off, smiling in slight confusion, because Kara is laughing and touching her hand and god, she can feel the undercurrent of Kara’s power even in her gentle, affectionate gesture, and it makes her gulp.

“No, I mean a game. Come on. Alex and Maggie will show you.”

Kara is up and offering her hand, and Diana is taking it but her eyes are wide and her lips are playful.

“Can we get more ice cream there?” she asks, and Kara beams.

“Great thing about this city? We can get ice cream almost anywhere.”


You asked for it, @cassiebones @avidreaderffn @mrriggerworld @tiffanytheweirdo @misadventurous-meridian @supertworld