like romeo and juliet

anonymous asked:

My phone is going to die so my last message to send today will be to you. You're SOOO fucking cool and a gr8 writer like i love your fics. -Guess who babe

This is so dramatic, omg. Like Romeo and Juliet. I love you!!

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happy birthday to.. me! haha uh its kind of a birthday tradition of mine to draw whatever i feel like no matter how little sense it makes lmao anyway here are yuuri and victor in kinda matchy KotOR star wars robes!! its very late!!! this is not an au dont @ me victor would never work for the jedi he is good and i trust him okay im leaving now bed time

Favorite highlights of live action Beauty and the Beast

• They stuck to the beginning of the original story where Belle asks for a rose and her father gets lost and finds a fire and food in the castle.

• “Mama said not to move because it might be scary. Sorry.”

• Belle called the castle home.

• LEFOU! Everything about him was great. He got character development, he had some fantastic lines, his low key flirting with Gaston, his singing!!! I love my boy.

• Lumiere dabbed. Twice.

• It was beautiful. Oh my god the castle made me absolutely melt and Be Our Guest was breathtaking in live action.

• Lefou booping Gaston on the nose.

• How during the song Adam sings he’s climbing higher and higher so he can still see Belle.

• When Adam found out Belle liked Romeo and Juliet he was like “ew no not that book here have my entire library so you can read something better that that filth”.

• I really like how Gaston in the beginning wasn’t that bad, but as the movie went on he got darker and darker.

• Gaston lifTING LEFOU UP ON ONE ARM

• We finally got an explanation as to why no one remembers the castle and the prince and why the servants were cursed too.

• The guy who can’t remember what he lost in the beginning is Mr. Potts and the minute Mrs. Potts called his name I was shaking my friend next to me because oh my god he “lost” his wife and child.

• ADAM. I’ve loved Adam since forever and he’s still so great in this version AND HIS SONG ABOUT BELLE WAS SO SPECTACULAR I COULD FEEL HIS EMOTIONS.

• Cogsworth & Lumiere are still an old married couple and I love it I love them.

• I know he only had a few lines in Be Our Guest, but Cogsworth’s singing voice was amazing

• Adam’s eye makeup in the beginning that made it look like he was wearing a mask if he stood in the light just so.

• I HAVE BEEN GUSHING ABOUT THE NEW LUMIERE DISIGN SINCE THE FIRST TRAILER CAME OUT AND TO FINALLY, FINALLY SEE IT ON THE BIG SCREEN WAS SO SATISFYING THE LITTLE DETAILS HE HAS LIKE HIS PONYTAIL AND THE FACT THAT HIS COAT MOVES WHEN HE DOES WERE SOOOO GOOD I KNOW I’VE SAID THIS A THOUSAND TIMES BUT I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THIS NEW LUMIERE.

• Lefou has a bite mark from Gaston on his lower stomach and when my friend and I saw it we practically screamed because how exactly do you get a bite mark in that spot if you’re not doing some kinky bedroom stuff.

• The line “there’s a beast on the loose there’s no question, but I fear the wrong monsters released” had me so shook put that on my gravestone I fucking love it.

• It’s sweet and cute and beautiful, but when it gets dark it gets DARK, like, goddamn.

• I loved the detail of whenever a petal falls the castle crumbles further and the servants become more like the objects they are.

• Adam’s beast growl at the end when he’s a human again that, tbh, was really hot.

• The guy who, instead of freaking out when he was put in a dress and makeup, grinned and walked away with his hips swishing and totally owned it.

• That same guy and Lefou dancing together ohhh my god I think I started crying they’re so fucking cute Lefou and his cross dressing boyfriend 5ever.

Things I want from a modern retelling of Romeo and Juliet:

- Everyone is dressed in traditional costuming, but the script is in modern English.
- “Romeo, Romeo, why the FUCK did you have to be ROMEO?”
- Juliet talks like a rich white valley girl and wears a flower crown.
- She keeps taking inappropriately timed selfies and posting them on instagram.
- Tybalt won’t stop talking about his crossfit regime.
- Romeo only listens to My Chemical Romance.
- Mercutio’s Queen Mab speech is followed by Benvolio asking “Are you high right now?” (He is)
- Mercutio dabs on stage. Unironically. More than once.
- When the boys are all catcalling Nurse it’s super cringy.
- instead of “a sail! A sail!” You get “Hey Fatass!” “Fatass? I just see a boat!” “Weigh anchor! You’re gonna break the docks, Fatass!”
- Tybalt also dabs on stage, exactly twice.
- The first time is awful and his friends have to correct him.
- Tybalt dabs at Mercutio and Mercutio responds by doing a backflip and ending in a dab.
- The Tybalt/Mercutio fight is an absolutely serious dancebattle with no weapons.
- Mercutio still dies anyway.
- Tybalt tries to dance battle Romeo too, but Romeo keeps taking it too seriously and not dancing back.
- This is because Romeo only knows how to ballroom dance.
- Paris wears a trillby and calls it a fedora.
- Juliet Snapchats her own death.
- Romeo doesn’t have Snapchat.

anonymous asked:

I need the story of the Underground Shakespearian Ring

Okay, so the school I went to for 9th grade had this really bizarre grading setup that I still don’t understand- for some reason, instead of the teachers writing up and grading tests and exams and the like, all the work was sent to an unknown third party for them to grade??? It made no sense.

Now, for the most part, the school had decent teachers, and they would just teach the curriculum correctly and then you wouldn’t run into problems with the grading. My English teacher was not one of those teachers.

So like, she hated me pretty early on- she was my homeroom teacher and thought it was disrespectful that I slept in homeroom in the mornings (I was on sleeping pills and they never wore off completely until around 10am), I never had the vocab homework in on time (someone kept breaking into my locker and stealing my vocab books I had to buy a new one like five times), she thought it was “inherently pessimistic and stuck up” when she caught me reading a book called ‘Ninth Grade Slays’ (it was about vampires, not her?), and during our Greek Mythology unit I kept correcting her about the name pronunciations of the gods (she pronounced Hephaestus as Hepatitis one time holy shit). 

Anyway, her feelings on me aside, her teaching skills were shoddy at best. But I had had way worse teachers, so had the rest of the class, and Greek myths are pretty straight-up in what’s going on, so no one really had trouble with the third-party tests.

Then we get to the Romeo and Juliet unit.

Now, fun fact: Shakespeare has always come pretty easily to me. Like, to the point where I sometimes forget/fail to understand that other people have an incredibly hard time translating his works. (I told this whole story to my friends in the school I went to for 10th/11th/12th grade and when the drama department put on ‘Midsummers Night Dream’ one year, more than half the cast tried to get me to translate their scripts and monologues for them lmao).

So, anyway, I’m just a girl, reading Romeo and Juliet and digging how it’s going…and then the teacher starts ‘translating’ it.

Um.

I cannot sift through all the bullshit this woman was spewing, but let’s just say that my favorite part is during Romeo’s spew about Rosaline, there’s one part where he says something like ‘with cupid’s arrow/she hath diane’s will’, and the teacher was taking this to mean Rosaline was a Super Lesbian who was breaking the law or something and running away with her lover Diane, which would be a rad storyline, sure, but like…I’m just raising my hand like “Um Ma’am, Diana is the Roman goddess of chastity. What Romeo meant is that she told him she’s sworn off love and is probably becoming a nun?” and this woman just got. So angry. Like, excuse me, you are a student, you’re here to learn, so you clearly don’t know anything about this (I read Romeo and Juliet for the first time in like preschool whoops). Anyway, she continues on making up her own plot to the play, and I…well I was basically Hermione Fucking Granger at this point I couldn’t just sit there and listen to someone be this wrong about something omfg??? She just got angrier and angrier and stopped calling on me after a while.

So for a couple lessons I’m just left to seethe quietly, but one day after class this girl I knew since grade school came up to me and was like “Could you…? Tell me what the hell we’re supposed to be learning?” and I didn’t even like her but I liked the validation of being someone’s Chosen Teacher so I wrote out a summary for her of everything we had covered so far so she could actually write a comprehendible essay for our homework that night.

But THEN the during the class when we got our essays back, she made a HUGE DEAL, like ‘oh Molly, it wasn’t bad enough that you’ve been failing this course material, now you have to drag your friends into it by trying to re-write the play?’ (l m a o). Like this bitch had literally tried to fight me on ‘Paris is the guy Juliet’s father wants her to marry’ and she didn’t even put a grade on my essay where I said the play only ended in tragedy because of how young and naïve the kids were, that if they had taken a breather and thought things through it probably would’ve been fine (it was a damn good essay and I stand by it). But anyway, she’s trying to make me out to my classmate’s as someone who’s trying to sabotage their education for laughs.

This backfired on her.

See, it dawned on people one by one, that she was only teaching the wrong material -> so they wouldn’t know the right material -> so when they eventually would take the exams they would only have her crazy answers -> which the third party graders wouldn’t know about -> everyone fails this course that’s like half the overall grade of the year.

Most students consider that a problem.

So suddenly the class has decided I’m the fucking Shakespeare Whisperer or something, and one by one start begging me for help. At first I was confused, because as I said, it’s so easy for me that I didn’t realize literally the entire class was lost out of their asses here. omfg. So I was really getting hassled here but I didn’t want my entire class to fail you know???? So I started meeting with people during study halls or texting them after school so they knew what was going on. And then they started telling people in this teacher’s other classes, including upperclassmen who were lost as fuck, so this was quickly spiraling out of control on my end, but overall people were really starting to understand the plays better!! So I was feeling really great.

But then, the teacher noticed that none of the homework getting handed in to her matched up with her crazy translations, and knew I was the sole person to blame (naturally). She literally tried to get me suspended over this, she went to the school’s disciplinarian!

Note: This guy, Mr. C, knew I was a God damn angel- my science class was off the charts, inappropriately awful, so every time one of our science teacher’s wanted to give the entire class detention, instead of calling Mr. C up to the class room as was the rule, they’d send me down to get him so he’d know to write up every student except for me. So when my English teacher dragged me in there he was looking her like “What on Earth could this girl have possibly done to piss you off?” 😂😂

And when she explained he looked at her for a very long moment, glanced at me with a signature ‘Office’ Reaction Face™ , turned back to her and was like “You want her suspended…for starting a study group?” and I was CHOKING.

So that really pissed her off and they started fighting and this was a very overworked and Done man so at some point he gave up and was like “I’m not suspending her but fine we can put a ban on the study group if you leave my office” omfg. So all the other students get notified and now they’re back to freaking out about the upcoming exams.

So like two days later, I’m at lunch, complaining about this to one of my friends who had a different English teacher and thus no problem, and I’m on this whole angry rant (Because I’m pissed, a bunch of kid’s grades are gonna get fucked up because of this! They just wanted to do well! I just wanted to help them!) and my friends staring at me quietly the whole time and when I finish I’m like “What?” and she’s just like “…Molly did you literally start up Dumbledore’s Army in our fucking school?” and I died on scene.

But then I started thinking about the comparison and I was like? You know fucking what? If Harry Potter can get those kids to pass their fucking DADA test I can help kids pass their fucking English Exam. Bring it the fuck on, Umbridge.

So I started Spreading The Word that anyone who needs help with their Shakespeare course can still get help, we just all need to meet up once to hash out the details. After some back and forth notes and deliberations, we ended up meeting in the school library, which was hilarious for a few reasons:

1) It was directly across the hall from this teacher’s classroom.

2) It was actually a converted janitors closet, way smaller than all the other classrooms, and there were like 50 people shoved in there; Not exactly an ideal Room of Requirement

3) The library carried no Shakespeare texts, but had the entire Harry Potter series on display to see when you first walked in

But anyway, despite the fact that we were literally three feet away from her door while we were doing this, our teacher was none the wiser of the meeting. We worked out a game plan- everyone writes out bullshit essays that align with what the teacher’s expecting. After she grades those and gives them back, they get them to me- slipping them in my locker, handing it to me discreetly in the halls or in another class, what have you. I then try to power through the dizzying amount of confusion radiating out of the teacher’s mouth and onto these papers, and more or less write out better translation of what was going on in whatever scene they covered, what the highlights they needed to know were, stuff like that, and then slip it back to them in similar discreet fashion (so the teacher/disciplinarian wouldn’t see me and get suspicious ; also because I was like 15 and wanted to feel like a super cool secret agent). They would then keep my copies and use them as study guides for the upcoming exams, where they would then answer all the questions correctly, the way the third party graders would mark correctly, and pass the exams + the bullshit essays would get them high marks in the teacher’s homework grades. The teacher never caught on to what was happening, just thought her students finally started paying attention to her.

All in all, it was a complicated mess, but it fucking worked. I don’t think anyone failed their exams that year. Will I ever be cooler? No. I think I fucking peaked when I was 15.

As much as I love “Exit, pursued by a bear,” I think it overshadows a few of Shakespeare’s other wonderfully weird stage directions. For example, Richard III features this peach of a stage direction before Richard receives Hastings’ severed head:

“Enter GLOUCESTER and BUCKINGHAM, in rotten armour, marvellous ill-favoured]”

Like, for a guy who seldom bothers who write stage directions, he takes the time to specify that not only is their armor rotten, they look bad in it.

I also like “He goeth down” from Romeo and Juliet.

the signs as eccentric Shakespeare-themed quotes from my theatre troupe:
  • Aries: Yes the wives of Windsor are merry, but are they happy inside? Are they emotionally fulfilled?
  • Taurus: Trinculo can't hold his liquor, that's why Stephano left him for a half-fish demon.
  • Gemini: Be gentle with Yorick! Or Ivan, or Lin-Manuel Miranda or whatever his name is, he came from Target.
  • Cancer: As if Othello would be caught dead in a onesie.
  • Leo: My father would kill me if I was in Titus Andronicus, but I would also give my left hand for a role... you see my problem.
  • Virgo: And we all know why scenes end without a set change? *unified chant* So they could relight the lanterns.
  • Libra: Make Phebe a lesbian! Make everybody gay! I don't care.
  • Scorpio: Try me, Prospera! *crash backstage* Oh, shit.
  • Sagittarius: Get out of my face with your Oxfordian bullcrap.
  • Capricorn: We can't perform it as well because Shakespeare only hired magicians for his troupe...
  • Aquarius: Ferdinand and Miranda are just Romeo and Juliet with heavy lifting.
  • Pisces: The Bard is witty, alright! Also a douchebag!