like on the discovery channel

There’s a good spot.

YOOOOO CAN WE TALK ABOUT ANTHONY’S AND JASMINE’S DATE AT A ZOO ON HIS INSTASTORY? 

*Anthony and Jasmine looking at African penguins*

Ant: (serious tone) Here we are in Alaska… 

Jazzy: In Africa-

Ant: (still serious tone) I mean in Africa. 

I FUCKIN DIED LOL

anonymous asked:

Angst free prompt: Little acts of domestic helpfulness. Like, making the other tea or making sure their favorite fork is clean or something.

idk if you’re even still around anon because this is nearly a year late and deviates a l o t from the original prompt but it was fun to write anyways :) thank you!

on ao3


A fumble with keys, then a rattle as the doorknob turns. While no sound comes from the swing of the door, Neil enters the apartment calling, “Honey, I’m home,” and that makes more of a racket than it would’ve if he’d just slammed it against the adjacent wall.

Andrew, who has long since become used to this particular part of their routine, merely grunts in response. Their mocking attempts to imitate the horrors of heteronormative domesticity is something shared between two men who have finally found themselves settling into a relatively uneventful life, and Andrew cherishes it even if it isn’t worth the breath to say so.

Over the screams of the boring thriller he’s watching, Andrew can hear the clatter of Neil’s keys as they’re dropped into the little dish that the Boyd-Wilds children had made for them, the thud of the door’s latch being put into place, the shuffling of Neil struggling out of his running shoes because he always refuses to undo the laces. He flips through the channels as Neil stumbles into the living room, reeking of and drenched in sweat. His hair is half plastered to his face and half valiantly reaching for the ceiling - courtesy of that goddamned bandanna - and the only thing that Andrew appreciates about this particular image is the fact that Neil’s legs in those tiny short-shorts still look tantalizingly good.

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Things I Love About Michael

That you can tell from his songs:

• He listens to Bob Marley

• He watches Discovery channel

• He’s a stoner

• He likes old retro stuff

• He drinks discontinued sodas

•He’s at peace with being a loser (I mean,,, at least for a while)

• He cares about his friends even when they’re shitty to him

• He doesn’t let people run over him (he demands an apology before saving Jeremy.)

Book Michael:

•He always has headphones on for the sole purpose of ignoring people

• He Knew About The Squip !! And withheld the information from Jeremy on purpose.

•He’s not completely dependent on Jeremy

• N I C O L E

•He listens to Weezer

• he laughs !! At Jeremy !! After the play !!

• He stands up for himself after being ditched at the mall.

file updated btw


Honestly Yuri doesn’t even know why he calls Yuu-chan. It’s an instinct. There’s nothing she can do for him, but it seems very important that he hide in the bathroom and hiss, “Victor Nikiforov is going into rut and I think he just hit on me!!!” when she says “hello?”

“WHAT,” shrieks Yuu-chan. Yuri hopes the girls are at school. “HE - OH?? MY GOD??? ARE YOU OKAY? YURI??????”

“I don’t know!” says Yuri. “Things are very weird right now! I had to make him take a shower and scrub behind his knees! I’m freaking out!”

Yuu-chan makes a noise like a dying cow and yells, “HOLY SHIT, SAME??? OH MY GOD????? HE’S REALLY IN RUT????? YURI –” There’s a clatter like she had to sit down in shock, and then Takeshi takes the phone from Yuu-chan and laughs uproariously at Yuri for what seems like forever before lapsing into snuffling giggles. In the background, Yuu-chan is making high pitched shrieking noises, like a leaky tea kettle.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present for your viewing pleasure:

Why does this exist?  Well sit down my buddy friend chum pally pals and I’ll tell ya!  I’ve been doing Zootopia voice-dub work over the last few months and thought to myself “I wonder if anyone has thought of pairing The Bloodhound Gangs’ ‘The Bad Touch’ with Zootopia?”  The beautiful image of Nick Wilde singing “you and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals” whirled around like spicy dancing tigers in my mind’s eye, and thus I began piecing together this pet project of mine over the last two weeks!

And with that, my homelike-breadslice dawgs, I leave you with this labor of love; let me know if there are other songs you’d like to see the Zootopia/other movie casts sing for ya!

send me ✿ + a ship and i’ll tell you…

  • who is more excited for halloween?
  • who gives the best gifts?
  • who sings along to the radio the loudest?
  • who actually finishes a book they’ve started?
  • who falls asleep during a movie?
  • who plans a surprise getaway vacation?
  • who comes home with useless decorative knick knacks for the house every single day?
  • who takes more pictures?
  • who likes baths? who likes showers?
  • who keeps a weekly planner?
  • who actually watches the discovery channel?
  • who brings up having kids first?
  • who fixes things around the house when they break?
  • who leaves their dirty towels on the floor?
  • who makes the coffee in the morning?
  • who gets jealous over very petty things?
  • who exercises more?
  • who starts listening to christmas music in october?
  • who actually reads the newspaper?
Mating for not offspring

I don’t know if some one has done this but here we go

Fetishes

Humans don’t have sex for reproduction.

They do it for fun. They do it for stress relief. They do it cause they are bored. They do it alone. They do it with one other. The do it with many others. They have done it with other species/aliens given the chance.
We have books for sex. Movies, pictures, websites, stickers, and hand gestures for sex. They are obsessed with sex. But then there is fetishes.

Some humans like regular sex, which they call vanilla. Some like to “do it as they do it on the discovery channel,” and mimic how animals have sex. Some have sex with orifices not meant for sex. Some add food during sex. Then there is a thing call bondage, a sexual act where one is bond down in a helpless position. Then some use hot wax. Some choke, bite, scratch, and hit during sex. Others literally cut each other and make themselves bleed for sexual excitement. Their are fantasies of being raped.

And during any of those sexual acts, these “toys” can be involved. It can go anywhere for replicas of genital to mechines that will thrust to the extreme of replica full body humans with AI’s.

And final. There are some who want no sex at all.

i’ve been going on a lot of job interviews lately so maybe this news is getting boring to y’all lol but i have a really exciting phone interview for a position with a show on the investigation discovery channel in like 15 minutes and i’m pretty excited about it… wish me luck 

Got the Be More Chill book by Ned Vizzini from the library after listening to the musical

  • Jenna is the Coolest girl in class (caps from the book), and her pool of gossip is pretty much limited to her friend Elizabeth and said friend’s “sluttiness”.
  • I want to like the detail of Jeremy’s “Humiliation Sheets,” spreadsheets where he tallies day-to-day embarrassments like being laughed at or ignored, but every time they’re brought up it’s… super weird?
  • So far what we know about Jake is, “The big story was that Jake Dillinger had sex with his model from Czechoslovakia who was dating his dad, which I believe.  Jake can do anything.”  He’s brought up a few more times, and Jeremy makes sure to mention this model each time.  (Is this supposed to be impressive???  I’m just super creeped out by every aspect of this)
  • There’s a kid named Mark Jackson talking to a kid named Jackson Marks
  • Jeremy: “I just look at [Christine] and think about her a lot because she’s beautiful, you know?  I mean she’s intelligent and sweet and everything else that a girl is supposed to be to offset her beauty, but even if she were idiotic and mean, she’d still be beautiful and I’d still be contorted.”  Uhhhh…
  • Speaking of Christine, I was afraid she’d have 0 personality.  I was wrong.  She has 1 personality, and that personality is, “Girls make no sense, bro.”  Everything Jeremy says to her, she finds fault with and berates him for.  Now, I’m all for girls being allowed to get frustrated, but Christine’s written as a absolute jerk for the sake of making a point about “girls not being easy to reduce into a series of instructions to follow”.
  • We meet Michael in the cafeteria.  “Michael smiles and lets chewed fish-cheese roll through the gap in his teeth.  It plats onto the tray in front of him.”  I’m charmed.

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anonymous asked:

✿ for 2Doc, please! I love your blog, it's wonderful!

(Thank you so much!)

  • Who is more excited for halloween?
    Equally - Murdoc is excited because it’s Noodle’s birthday but 2D is excited about carving pumpkins and eating candy too + ZOMBIES.
  • Who gives the best gifts?
    2D because Murdoc often buys something that he would like himself.
  • Who sings along to the radio the loudest?
    Murdoc, mostly because he is compensating for not singing in the band, but 2D sings too.
  • Who actually finishes a book they’ve started?
    Murdoc, he has actually read loads of books and interesting ones too. Mostly non-fiction.
  • Who falls asleep during a movie?
    Murdoc, he isn’t that much into movies
  • Who plans a surprise getaway vacation?
    2D
  • Who comes home with useless decorative knick knacks for the house every single day?
    2D
  • Who takes more pictures?
    2D, Murdoc’s still complaining about not being totally sure how his phone works.
  • Who likes baths? Who likes showers?
    MURDOC LOVES BATHS, 2D likes showers
  • Who keeps a weekly planner?
    None
  • Who actually watches the discovery channel?
    2D, he loves animals and cries when he watches the programs where they save animals.
  • Who brings up having kids first?
    Murdoc, he won’t admit that he would die to have his own.
  • Who fixes things around the house when they break?
    Murdoc, 2D fails every time he tries.
  • Who leaves their dirty towels on the floor?
    Both.
  • Who makes the coffee in the morning?
    Murdoc can’t survive without a cup of coffee.
  • Who gets jealous over very petty things?
    Murdoc and then he gets super possessive in bed.
  • Who exercises more?
    None
  • Who starts listening to christmas music in october?
    2D and Murdoc complains like hell.
  • Who actually reads the newspaper?
    Murdoc.

anonymous asked:

enamour me :3

Derek doesn’t notice he’s doing it at first. He makes a habit of picking up the pack’s mannerisms, after all – it’s not that unusual that he knows Stiles doesn’t like anchovies but will fight Boyd to get to a pizza with double pepperoni. What is unusual is that Derek makes sure to order double pepperoni on everything.

But whatever, right? They’re american. Pepperoni is what they do.

The Jstor subscription charged to Derek’s credit card is slightly harder to explain. When he signs up, he tells himself it’s for the pack. Research is key, after all. And okay, so Stiles ends up being the only one with the login details - that’s just because he does the lions share of the research. It has nothing at all to do with him taking on a double load of subjects at college.

At all.

And, okay, the curly fries Derek makes sure to grab before picking Stiles up for stakeouts are maybe a little damning, but it’s not his fault that Stiles talks less if his mouth is occupied and- and…

Derek swears, staring in horror at the curly fries in the passenger seat. They may as well be glittering in a small velvet box for all his heart is suddenly trying to beat out of his chest.

Holy fuck, he’s wooing Stiles.

Holy fuck, he’s wooing Stiles with curly fries.

“Oh my god,” Stiles says, yanking the passenger side door open to grab at the food. “You are my hero.”

Derek watches, dumbstruck, as Stiles slouches into the seat and rips into the fries like he hasn’t seen food in a week. Crumbs fly everywhere. Stiles grunts like he’s on the discovery channel. It’s really, really disgusting.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Stiles’ head snaps around so hard, a fry actually launches from his lips to land in Derek’s lap. Derek picks it up and eats it with numb horror.

“Um,” Stiles says.

Derek closes his eyes and wishes very hard for a natural disaster. Or even a supernatural one. Sudden plague of land-based black holes. He could work with that.

Derek takes a breath. “You don’t have to-”

He doesn’t get any further, because there are suddenly long-fingered hands either side of his face and a warm mouth on his and- oh.

Stiles tastes like salt and peppermint – likely the gum he has a half packet of in his hoodie pocket. The same pocket Derek uses as leverage to yank Stiles over into his lap.

The curly fries are stone cold by the time they get to them.

anonymous asked:

Okay, but imagine an AU wjere Jere and Michael host a ghost hunting show -🌳

oh god. oh god i can picture this so clearly. 

  • growing up, it was just jeremy living in a really old house that just happened to be next to a graveyard. it always creaked and groaned. sometimes jeremy would see shit out of the corner of his eyes. but that’s just because he’s perpetually anxious and his house is a hundred years old!! it has nothing to do with ghosts….. right?
  • michael watches so many ghost hunting documentaries. so many. he knows all the sketchy websites and the forums and always talks about someone who knows someone whose roommate’s brother’s dog’s sister can SEE GHOSTS. naturally, he’s the first one to bring it up to jeremy.
  • it kinda starts off with “ of course ghosts aren’t real!!” ‘yeah ‘course not…. except… what if they are.” “holy shit,,,,” 
  • so they get into ghost hunting. starts out very amateur (just an old digital camera, taking the cruiser down Clinton Road which is known to be haunted, etc). maybe they make shitty youtube videos, which is 80% them bantering and freaking out at these terrifying places and 20% actually ghost hunting and that’s how they get discovered. 
  • fast forward however many years. they get their own show.
  • every episode is a really really bad ghost pun. ‘BOO-GIE WOOGIE’ ‘the ghost-ery store’ ‘the mailman and the ghost office’.
  • depending on the place, one of them will take the investigation SUPER. SERIOUSLY. and the other will tag along and talk shit. without fail. 
  • they have mad equipment. jeremy carries half his body weight in technology. they’ve got it all: thermometers, heat detectors, highly sensitive audio detectors for hearing EVPs, EMF meters, thermographic and night vision goggles. everything. and they carry all of it. 
  • most of the time, it’s jeremy who’s the serious one. he’s very much into asking questions like “if anyone is here, could you just give us a sign!” definitely the ‘good cop’. 
  • michael though. michael is the one to fuckin RAG on the ghosts. if there’s something there he wants to piss it off. he’ll march through hell antagonizing it:
  • “I BET YOU’RE NOT EVEN A REAL SPIRIT!!” michael calls down the hallway of an abandoned insane asylum, his night vision goggles turning everything green. he grins at the camera man while jeremy squints into the darkness. “A REAL SPIRIT WOULD HAVE TRIED TO KILL US BY NOW!! god. california ghosts are so lame. hey jere, remember that time in passaic county that we literally went to the gates of hell? i mean, i know it’s a just a freaky name for a sewer, but-” “michael shut the fuck up” “what?? you scared this is a dead end….?” “michael-” “nobody wants to play peek-a-boo” “seriously shut the fuck up i think i see something”
  • michael shuts up real quick after that, launching into serious mode and maybe a little terrified. “oh shit for real?? where??” 
  • sometimes it’s a real ghost sighting. other times it’s jeremy blowing air on michael’s neck just to freak him out.
  • they write a few books about their adventures and are definitely the stars of Discovery Channel. they’re basically like HGTV’s Chip and Joanna Gaines except better and also ft ghosts instead of interior design. there’s also a lot of commentary on each episode. michael’s commentary during the parts where he’s particularly freaking the fuck is very blasé. “oh i was totally faking it. i knew it was jeremy the whole time, like i know he’s pale but come on even i’m not dumb enough to mistake him for a ghost.” *cuts to jeremy, very serious but on the verge of laughing* “i’ve never seen michael that scared in my whole life. and i was with him the first time we got a ouija board to work.” 
  • their fans LOVE THEM. michael and jeremy livetweet every episode (from the comfort of their very much non-haunted apartment in a big city with lots of modern lights and no ghosts, thank you very much). fans tweet them their conspiracy theories and tag them in ghost sightings on instagram. someone inevitably ships michael and a ghost they found in georgia, who would only make contact when michael spoke to it in a soothing southern accent. of course, most of their viewers ship them. more often than not, jeremy will grab michael’s hand when something makes a sudden noise. gifs of it go viral every time
  • one time for an episode special, the two of them split up and try to do two separate locations. it’s miserable. they both can’t stop mentioning the other one and they keep trying to use the cameraperson to make up for the other’s absence. ‘there’s not enough shittalking. c’mon kevin, please. just. convince the spirit we’re assholes who need haunting.” ‘….’ “please” “….” “ugh fine we’ll do it the NORMAL way” 
  • one halloween, jeremy and michael livestream them doing a ouija board. cue the endless tweets of things like ‘GOD i wish someone trusted me as much as jeremy trusts michael not to move the pointer’ 

oh god i could go on there’s so much potential here but this got super long and im gonna stop before someone kills me (heh pun intended) 

anonymous asked:

Real talk, honest talk. What do you personally think is stopping you from getting to that million subs? You've been stagnating for a while now.

Good question! Two big factors.

The first is how much Youtube has changed over the years. I know you hear it all the time, but the adjustments to the algorithms has absolutely ruined growth for a lot of channels. There was a time when I would average 20,000-30,000 new subscribers a month, and these days I pull in about 7,000 on the main channel. The lack of discovery for channels like mine that don’t do daily “trendy” bullshit makes it difficult to show up in recommendations for random clicks. Additionally, it was easier before to support other YouTubers by just subscribing and liking others, as that information would be shown to your subscribers causing them to go check out what you just liked. This was imperative in the early days, as it got a lot of us a lot of growth simply by being supportive. So because of these changes, it’s hard to get my channel in front of new eyes, unless I become a channel that simply talks into the camera about whatever daily hot topic everyone else is also doing.

The second is myself and lack of discipline. New videos get you new subscribers, period. Every year I tell myself that I’m going to get a schedule of two ProJared videos a month, and I struggle to get one in. Not for lack of trying, but lack of discipline in staying on schedule with production while also doing every other creative outlet (gaming channel, twitch, cons, etc.).

But, I also have not stagnated. This would imply that my channel isn’t growing at all. It still is, albeit at a much slower rate than ever before. I’m still getting about 100,000 subscribers a year. I’d love to make that 200,000 and hit that million mark (because the Algorithm also favors 1,000,000+ channels).