like omg i dont know where i am here

I’m just copy pasting what I wrote on facebook earlier cause omg I need to have this here as well

Ever since I came home from Japan 2 years ago I’ve been sitting in my room every day. I’ve been plagued by constant depression, anxiety and horrible paranoia.

But for the first time ever, I find myself wanting to get a hold of my life. I’m getting inspiration to dress up again, to go out, to work out, to actually do things. While I knew how bad my mental health has been, it never occured to me until now how crippling it’s been for all these years that I’ve lived.

The new antidepressant I got have truly helped me feeling like I do today. While I’m still depressed, anxious and paranoid… I actually find myself wanting to change that. I’m not afraid to recover anymore. I actually want to enjoy my life, and I’ll be damned if I don’t deserve it after all these years!

I can’t believe that I’m writing this, I never thought a day where I felt like this would ever happen, yet here I am!

I know it will be difficult, I know that my issues will most likely never go away completely and that I’ll have my ups and downs, but it doesn’t matter. This is the first step for me to actually learn how to love myself and my life, and it feels so fucking great! <3

anonymous asked:

hi so i saw someone else bring up cutting so i figure that this is a safe place to talk about it! ive been clean for like twoish years? and the other day i had a major mental breakdown and relapsed and i dont know where to go from here.

Look I am so proud of you that you have been clean for so long and omg I could never be clean for 2 years And you are amazing !! But just bc you did it one time, it doesnt mean you are starting again I mean ok it was just a moment bit be strong and remember I am proud of you honey . Send a message every time you need help

Im really tired right now so I apologize for anything I post from here on out.

What if Endo had like tiny cube servants, and theyre like those villains in cartoons you know where the servants are just like mini versions of the boss and so there are just these smol cubes runnin around and they dont say much except for maybe a beep or bop but they are called endolings and what the heck am I doing with my time right now why am I stil at work omg.