like my body knows what time it is

anonymous asked:

Another Daddy here. First of all I think you're a great guy and what ever one of us should aspire to. And second of all, sometimes I feel like I can't express that I'm attracted to a specific body type in a little (thin and small everywhere) for fear of getting hate or being called a pig or appearing like one. It's not that I don't think other women are beautiful, I'm just incredibly attracted to that type because that's what my very first little was.. Do you have any advice you could give me?

well.... youre always going to have haters no matter what you do, say or think. thats an imperative to understand. Lord knows if I spent all my time being caught up in what people thought about me, I would be curled up in a corner crying incessantly. 

Do I fault you for your preference? not at all. We all have our fetishes. 

I am sure that a lot of people wouldnt like mine… just how they dont like yours. But then again a lot of people would. Thats the beauty of feelings. We listen to each other and speak in a manner that is open and honest because we realize each others feelings have value.

People often ask how I can speak with such a lack of judgment… well it just boils down to a life well lived. Ive been all over this great country, ive seen enough to live through 3 lifetimes… and the more you learn about others, the more you realize a few things: that youre no better…. that everyone is beautiful in some way… that with simple communication we can all understand each other a lot better.

So what if you like skinny littles… good for you. Embrace that. Because its just a preference or a fetish. Doesnt mean you dont like or respect other females… just means when it comes down to being in the sheets, you have a preference. 

my response to critics would be: “oh well” *shrug*

when you argue with idiots, you only let them bring you down to their level.

anonymous asked:

Otayuri AU with "Guys my age" so sixteen year old yuri, who always sneeks into gay clubs to get laid, but is still in high school. And (I changed his age a bit I know) twenty year old Otabek, who works in a gay club as a dj. So whenever he djs there is that one guy that dances really suggestivly, and he just can't get enough of it. So they basically have like a sexual relationship for several months with sex at yuri'S school and stuff before they start actually dating ~Kitten

me: doesn’t believe in sex without love (but also doesn’t care what others do as long as it’s safe and consensual)

i have such mixed emotions about this because it’s hot and i love it, but i also don’t think i could ever have sex without love and it’s strange to think about my babies like that.

but on the other hand, beka already knowing yura’s body by the time they start dating? that’s good shit????????

it feels like DAYS have passed since this morning

So my doctors called and asked me to come in. 

I did that and it was amazing. It just feels good to tell someone that you don’t feel like something is right with your body and have them trust and agree with you. (Of course the better alternative is to be feeling good but that’s not on the table here). She agreed with what I was saying and sent me off for an X-ray. Our best guess wasn’t found so I got sent off for another CT scan. 

We don’t know what’s causing this, but we are being extra cautious since this is the time in my chemo cycle when all my counts are lowest and I’m most susceptible to the Bad Things. 

But nice things happened today:

  • codeine for pain management is extremely helpful
  • having a game plan for pain management is extremely helpful
  • my nurses and doctors are amazing stellar people who I think really do care about me
  • i got an x ray (most people won’t until after chemo) AND THE MASS HAS ALREADY REDUCED IN SIZE aka chemo is at least partially working even though I’ve only done one round
  • i met the nurse who did my FIRST CT scan when I got sent to the emergency room and he remembered me and we joked about how I always felt bad because I had asked him if he saw anything and i’d always imagined he’d have to say what he always has to say (that they can’t diagnose) but that he had to have gone back and been like “holy shit” when he saw my image, which was pretty funny now
  • matt and i got boba tea and made fun of turd people  

TL;DR: Still don’t know where the pain is coming from but there are plans to deal with it and also my chemo is working 

So this is like one of my favorite moments in Fantastic Beasts–I know, it’s tiny! But hear me out:

What Newt does and says and his body language says so much!!!

First off, he, out of anyone in the world, knows full well that this isn’t a good place to release the Swooping Evil.

BUT

He spends all his time studying and working with animals that wizards don’t appreciate and couldn’t care for (and even want to kill), and he does this all alone because he doesn’t really fit in with people.

Then here comes Jacob, who knows like nothing! Newt has no problem just scooping him up and inviting him along, even though it’s illegal. And now, he finally has someone to show his lifelong passion to, who will find it interesting and wondrous, instead of unusual or weird.

You can tell by Newt’s body language in this scene, that he’s (very privately) been internally dying to show the Swooping Evil off to someone–though he would never voice or acknowledge that out loud (probably because of previous negative reactions). But you can tell, even just in this gif, that he’s daydreamed about it for weeks or months. His inner (perhaps childlike) self thinks this thing is sick!! And he’s been dying to share it!!

But Newt is not a boastful or loud person. He wouldn’t draw attention to that fact (he’s a Hufflepuff and also has been stigmatized in his society). No. But look at his body language–his back is to Jacob and he flings that beast out at him. It’s like he’s daydreamed about and yearned for this moment so much, he’s staged it!! That’s not the body language of someone who wants to gently show Jacob a Swooping Evil, that’s the body language of someone who thinks this thing is freaking sweet!! And has been internally, perhaps subconsciously dying to show it off. And if you don’t believe me, look close and you can see that tiny little smile/smirk he’s sort of hiding from Jacob.

Newt totally eats this thing up, but it’s like he doesn’t want anyone to know just how much so.

And then he says (sort of trying to hide his smile), “Probably shouldn’t let it loose in here.” When he knows full well he shouldn’t have, but he just feels the need to say that to downplay the reality that he just really wanted to share this thing with someone. Because to be so openly passionate about it is too much of a risk, too vulnerable, because of past rejections. No, he needs to almost play dumb so he takes 0 risks at being made fun of for loving this–even with Jacob, who is his best bet who won’t make fun of him (because he doesn’t know better)

The subtext is this like three-second moment kills me with it’s perfection. It’s freaking brilliant. 

c

he seems to be fabricated from good intentions and lonely nights. I don’t think ever in his life has he been told that he is deserving of all that the future holds. I don’t think ever in his life has anyone known who he really is. 

I am figuring out that the only thing that he is sure of are the strings of his guitar. he still is figuring out the genius that his fingers hold when some are in my mouth and some are making my hips reach heaven.

maybe this is what my love has to do, fill up the little cracks of emptiness in peoples soul that they don’t know how to fix. and when they are all filled they thank me for my service and go. he doesn’t have too many cracks to fill but I am taking my time, slow like molasses, each piece of his body and soul are getting their own treatment. I think I could love him forever.

he lets me whisper sweet things into his ear before we go to bed and he tells me I am the sweetest girl he has ever known. I am ripe. I am ripe. I am ripe and I am coming. he discovers the sweetness with his tongue. I told him that I loved him. I told him that I will love him with all the days to come, even if no one has ever loved him in this way. I cannot be afraid. he tells me he is not afraid. I love him. I think I could love him forever.

this must be what falling in love feels like. there is not other explanation. I think I want it all, I want it all.

there's gonna come a time when their opinion doesn't bother you anymore. keep going. you're doing great.
Dear the next person I date,
For starters I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I have trust issues to the max and I’m difficult to be with and make happy but I promise you make me so happy. I promise to always be patient with you as long as you will always be patient with me because I will need it.I am so sorry for all the nights I will be anxious and cry and the amount of times I’ll be terrified thinking about you leaving and walking away like all the others. But one thing I will promise you is that although it will not be easy it will be worth it no matter what happens I will love you unconditionally and I will treat you the way I have the entire relationship. I’m sorry that I will cry when we are being intimate due to my past I know you will not hurt me but unfortunately my body has this way of freezing up. I promise you that we will get through every step of the way through our good days and our bad days the days we both don’t feel like being here and getting out of bed. The days where the distance (if it’s long distance) feels like it’s going to destroy what we have we will figure everything out because I will not give up as long as you promise me you will never stop showing me that you love me because I need to be constantly reassured and I understand how difficult that can be.
—  Your future girlfriend

I see a lot of posts about the Ryden conspiracy.

I’m not going to add much of my own opinion, just a dash. Like a hint of Thyme in a pasta sauce for flavor.

I studied psychology almost all of my life in an attempt to understand my abused mother; why she stayed, what it meant about her and how she viewed herself. On and on. Here nor there. I learned a lot about how people interact with each other. I learned a lot about what certain subtle hints or shifts in body language mean. I learned how to detect lies from people who didn’t even know they were lying.

All that said; Ryden has always fascinated me.

From a professional stand point, they acted like a couple. Not in words or time spent together, but in body language during the time spent together. Stage antics aside, because bands do that all the time. But when they were hanging out casually, as a band or as friends. When they would look at each other. There was more than friendship there - from a professional stand point.

With how accepting the fans would be of the relationship, and how both are advocates of gay rights, you would think they would be open about any potential relationship they had. Especially now that it’s so long in the past.

Much like with any other fan - I can’t help but wonder. It fascinates me, seeing the claims that fans make, seeing them interact with one another.

If they never had a real relationship, they are an anomaly to the human condition.

2

“Thank you guys so much. In 2014, this stage was actually the first time that I was authentically, 100 percent honest with all of you. I think it’s safe to say that most of you know a lot of my life whether I liked it or not. And I had to stop because I had everything, and I was absolutely broken inside. And I kept it all together enough to where I would never let you down, but I kept it too much together to where I let myself down. I don’t want to see your bodies on Instagram. I wanna see what’s in [your heart]. I’m not trying to get validation, nor do I need it anymore. All I can say from the bottom of my heart is that I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to be able to share what I love every single day with people that I love. And I have to say thank you so much to my fans because you guys are so damn loyal. And I don’t know what I did to deserve you. If you are broken, you do not have to stay broken. And if that’s anything, whether you respect me or not, one thing you should know about me is I care about people. And thank you so much for this. This is for you. Thank you.”

  • Oscar: So... I'm me, but I'm also a 50 plus year old man?
  • Qrow: And several 100 plus year old men!
  • Oscar: But, like, what if I find a girl I like, and I, uh, you know? Does that make me a pedophile or something? Like, this is so freaking weird.
  • Qrow: Oh don't worry, Ozpin jacked off to girls your age all the time, so don't worry about it.
  • Oscar: How does that make me not worry about it?
  • Oscar: The fact that the voice inside my head is giving me instructions on how to kill you and hide the body for you knowing that worries me even more.
  • Qrow: Yeah that sounds about right.

what it’s like to live with seasonal depression
right before your peak month

at 7am last morning my body broke into sobs
because i could taste the toothpaste on the roof of my mouth
and knew in a month i won’t be able to anymore


what it’s like to live with four bodies
one for each season


i am a blind woman given sight each year
in echoing rays of sunshine and beaming laughs
in the ability to breathe and speak and eat
as if my limbs move without protest and my poems —
they exist only etched into the redwoods
as if every life movement contains purpose


what it’s like to believe
you can extend your lifeline from june


so i tell myself
every year you get better
but a diary entry from last march reads
“i am being held captive in eternal february”
fourteen times consecutively  
and god only knows what i wrote on the torn-out pages
i burnt into ashes out of shame


what it’s like to count 28 days
while you swallow paper cuts
what it’s like to tell your mother
you need therapy again every year
what it’s like to lose your body
to a page in your calendar


what it’s like:
we eat and we sleep and we try to breathe
we write and we speak and
(we really do try)


and it will swallow me whole
anyways

—  for my birthday i would like operative body parts

I know you don’t think you’re beautiful enough, or enough in general. I’ve been laying here for what seems like forever trying to think of the words I could say to make you feel as beautiful as you are to me.
but how do I tell you that everytime you look at me I get goosebumps all over my body.
how do I tell you that I spend too much time thinking about the goosebumps on yours and how I want to trace every one to create constellations out of the spots so I can prove to you that you are the universe.
how do I tell you that I’ve had always hard time loving myself but everytime you say my name I feel so lucky to be in my own skin.
how do I tell you that every day I fall for something new about you but I’m afraid that if our eyes meet for too long I’ll fall for a part of you that I can’t hold.
it’s hard to find the right words to tell you how beautiful you are to me, but if I have to I’ll tell you everyday, over and over, in different ways, different forms, different languages, until maybe someday you’ll feel it too.

Do you remember why you fell in love with me? You said I was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. You said you couldn’t let me get away, you just had to get to know me.
Do you remember the way you felt the first time I looked into your eyes? You said you loved the way my eyes sparkled.
Do you remember what it was like the first time I held your hand? You said you felt a tingly sensation travel through your entire body.
Do you remember the first time I kissed you? You said you never wanted anyone else to kiss you again.
Do you remember the first time I said ‘I love you?’ You said that you loved me from the moment you first saw me.

Do you remember? Because I remember everything. I remember the first time I told you I was mentally ill. You told me it was nothing that we couldn’t get through…

Do you remember the first time you saw me have a panic attack? You held me close and calmed me down.
Do you remember the first time I asked you if you could hear the voices too? You looked at me strange and said you didn’t hear anything.
Do you remember the first time I started detaching from you? You asked me why I was being so cold.
Do you remember the first time I pushed you away when you tried to touch me? You were trying to understand what you did wrong.
Do you remember the first time I made you cry? You asked me how I could be so heartless.
Do you remember the first time you saw me sit and stare at the wall and you couldn’t get me to move? You were beginning to wonder if this was all a mistake…

I know it’s not easy loving a person with mental illness. But, it’s not easy being a person with mental illness. Every time I detach from you, all I want to do is be in your arms. But I can’t. And I can’t really explain why. Every time I hurt you, it hurts me too. Just, please don’t give up on me.
Whenever you feel like you can’t take anymore, please remember why you fell in love with me.
Whenever I’m sitting and staring at the wall, unable to move, please remember the way you I first looked into your eyes.
Whenever I push you away and tell you not to touch me, please remember the way you felt the first time I ever held your hand.
Whenever I’m yelling nonsense and saying things I don’t really mean, please remember the first time I ever kissed you, and how amazing it made you feel.
Whenever you’re trying to get me to talk, and it seems I’m unable to speak, please remember the sound of my voice the first time I ever said ‘I love you.’
Because I still love you. I’ve always loved you. And I will always love you.

—  Please remember me, even when it seems like I don’t remember you…

“You’re not allowed to want me.”
“I’m not planning on it.”


I lied, I lied, couldn’t you tell? I wanted you, the heat and flicker of your hands devouring me, the way every inch of my body seemed to melt when you pressed your lips between my shoulder blades. I wanted you, oh how desperately I wanted you. Boy made of fire, made of want that burned like a quickly dying flame. I would have donned wings and flown to you again for even the chance to feel you break me open.


“You can’t fall in love.”
“You’re not my type.”


I lied, again and again. I was enthralled with you, the way you tasted like summer days and one night stands. There was something so addictive about you, about the way your hands were rough tugging on my hair, my skin, nails digging moons and shooting stars into my flesh. I would have become a galaxy at your fingertips if you wanted me to.


“You’ll have to leave eventually.”
“Only if you ask me to.”


I’ve learned, since then, that it was never meant to be. Fate wrote our stories, threw us together as a warning: don’t give up your life for the boy who burns so bright. But I would live this life again just to feel your gasp of breath like a warm wind on my neck. just to feel your fingers graze my hips. We were destined to collide and tear each other apart, destined to crash and sink and destroy ourselves. Or maybe that was just me, I can’t remember.


“I don’t want you anymore.”
“Please don’t do this.”


Don’t forget about me. For all the angels and stars that find their way to you, for the centuries to pass and lives to decay, don’t forget about the boy who only wanted to kiss the sun one last time.

—  fates written like a tragedy
For my Younger Babes

For those of you younger than 18, don’t worry I’m not here to shame you or to patronize you, it really wasn’t that long ago that I was a minor. Trust me, it really wasn’t that long ago. So I understand very well what ya’ll must be going through. In high school so many things changed in my life, not just my family or environment but also my way of thinking shifted. This shift is normal, change is normal, there’s nothing wrong with what you are feeling or thinking. However personally I found that this is not the time to be acting out on your thoughts. It’s not because you’re stupid, because you’re not, and not because society claims it’s wrong - it’s simply a matter of timing. You need to know exactly what’s happening and how to deal with it before you can act on it. Learn what you like and don’t like, learn to interpret what your body and your mind are telling you, learn to please and love yourself before you put yourself out there. When you miss this crucial step this leaves you vulnerable to people who will want to tell you what you should like and what you should do, instead of what you want to do. Please avoid sending and receiving nudes, not because there’s anything wrong with your body, but because it could get you in serious trouble and I want you all to be happy and safe. No one ever saw my naked body until I was a legal adult, and honestly it makes me so happy that it happened like that because by then a fuckboi was trying to take advantage of my supposed inexperience but I turned it all around by showing him that I knew what I wanted and what my body wanted. By the end he was begging to sleep with me but I decided I would not give a dick like him exactly what he wanted. 

If any of you have already found yourselves in unfortunate situations and did not get out of it like you planned, you are not to blame for anything. I was only lucky to avoid an unfortunate situation, but when someone has made the decision to ruin someone’s life like that it is on them and not you. It’s never your fault. This could happen to anyone of any age, gender, race, and social class - it’s not your fault. 

My babes, I want you all to have fun, be happy, and enjoy every great thing that life has to offer. Honestly, when the time comes, you will all be so grateful (and very pro hoes). ;)

This is an incredibly difficult post for me to make but I have to accept that this is what my body looks like. After seeing my reflection and taking this photo I burst into tears because I couldn’t believe I had let myself get to this point! I have no full length mirrors in my house so it wasn’t until I was on holiday this time and properly looked at myself I saw what I truly looked like. I am so determined to lose weight this year and get back into shape. I have achieved my goals before so I just know I can do it again! It’s time to focus on myself and getting me back in shape! I know I can do this! This is the last time you will ever see me looking like this, and that’s a promise.

Cruel World (5) (Soulmate au)

Summary: One day every human being on the planet received a mark in some place on their body at the same time; these marks are the initials of your soulmate and their date of birth. What do you do when your soulmate is not the person that you have a relationship with?

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Words: 3112

Warnings: aganst, torture, talks about rape ( no rape) and violence

Thanks to @drinkfantasy for being my beta and my friend i love you.

Originally posted by wintersthighs

You feel pain, your whole body is aching and you feel like your head is going to explode. When you open your eyes you don’t know where you are, it is a tiny grey room. You notice that there are no windows or furniture.

The only thing in the room but you is a blanket on the floor, you are terrified. Every single noise makes you jump, you try to calm yourself down taking deep breaths. But it is useless, you are in the edge of a nervous breakdown.

You don’t know how but you manage to fall sleep.

“Wake up.”  You look up and see Ryan holding a bottle of water with a smug smile. You sit up on the floor and he leans down in front of you. You knew Ryan for 3 years and you never were afraid of him, until now. His eyes are cold, he looks furious and you can even see a vain popping out on his forehead.

He hands you the bottle and says “Drink up.” His voice is harsh, you nod glad to accept the water. He keeps staring at you, you feel uncomfortable so you clear your throat and ask “What am I doing here?”

Keep reading

I'm so tired of

- always being the one who cares more
- knowing i’ll always need them more than they need me
- feeling completely useless
- hating my reflection
- feeling painfully invisible
- having no idea what i’m going to do with my life
- people asking me what i want to do when i leave school
- being stressed, like all the time
- always looking at pretty people and feeling so angry and jealous because of how ugly i am
- feeling like if i died today, no one would notice… no one would care…

Victor’s Body Language, part 1

I’ve seen a lot of people talking about how much Victor’s body language changes depending on who he’s with (generally being stuck to Yuuri like a limpet while being far more distant with just about everyone else with the exceptions of Yakov and Yurio), so I decided to go through the show, while paying extra-close attention to his body language

Victor thinks the world of Yakov and he’s clearly had his coach in his life a long long time. Victor knows that what he’s doing by upping sticks to Japan with no notice is tantamount to betrayal in Yakov’s eyes (since Yakov was going to be getting credited with coaching two Russian champions at the same time). My guess is that Victor doesn’t go into Yakov’s personal space often, but this situation merited it - he had to show Yakov that this was something he was serious about.

The next person we see Victor getting close to us Yuuri! No explanation needed, this is Victor shamelessly flirting…only dear sweet Yuuri could be oblivious (either that or it was a sensory overload for Victor’s fanboy!).

Poor Victor!

And here we see Victor, getting right back in Yuuri’s personal space after establishing that there is no competition for his affections! Here he’s about to wax lyrical about his romantic past in the hopes that Yuuri will seem interested…but he’s rejected again :\

(And as we later find out Victor probably has little to no romantic history…did he secretly know that Yuuri would likely shut him up?)

Having finally heard Yuuri admit out loud that he has confidence issues, Victor responds by flirting and getting right into Yuuri’s personal space. In this moment Victor’s letting Yuuri know that he’s very interested in him (since poor Yuuri still hasn’t figured this out), and he hopes that if Yuuri feels wanted, it might make him feel more confident in himself.

(also, everyone notices Yurio’s reaction here, but look at Victor Fangirl Yuuko’s face XD)

Just before Yuuri takes to the ice at the Onsen on Ice event, there’s an interesting moment - this is the first time that Yuuri hugs Victor - Victor who has been invading Yuuri’s physical space on a regular basis for weeks. But Victor’s response is shock - he just stands there with his arms t his side.

Despite his words to Yuuri (”I love Katsudon”), this is not a comfortable Victor. Victor is not used to people stepping into his personal space. He might be wanting to get closer to Yuuri, but until this moment it’s been on Victor’s terms.

(bonus - look at Morooka’s face while Victor and Yuuri hug XD)

After Yuuri skates, Victor has gotten used to the fact that Yuuri hugged him, and happy with the skate, he returns the hug in full.

I will comment that at this point Yurio leaves, and there has been no physical contact between the two. I highlight this because Victor isn’t close to anyone in Hasetsu, but he is close to Yurio.

Their moment on the podium is also as cute as it is significant. The last time Yuuri’s confidence issues were mentioned, Victor got in his space. Now his confidence issues reappear while Morooka interviews him. Victor goes into his personal space again, in a very public way, to reinforce to Yuuri that he’s sincere in wanting to help him build his confidence.

So we’re now a quarter of the way through the show, and other than one little hug and peck on the cheek to Yakov, Victor hasn’t made any physical contact with anyone apart from Yuuri.

(I’m spreading this over multiple posts as tumblr wouldn’t let me post it otherwise (which is a pain)…part 2 up soon)

It was a few months after you left when my friend asked me.

“How did you know?”

“How did I know what?”

“That you loved him”

When she said that every single thing about you rushed back into my brain. It was like I was feeling all the pain for the first time again. But I answered anyway.

“It was the way the sound of his name made my stomach fill with butterflies. When he looked at me the whole world stood still. God those green eyes made it feel like we were the only people on earth. His touch electrified me. Lightning coursed throughout my veins filling every part of me with warmth. He made my heart feel like it was going to burst out of my chest. But it’s the pain he caused that makes me certain.”

“Why?”

“Because it wouldn’t hurt this much if I didn’t.”

—  excerpts from a book i’ll never write