Right, so this is long. It was absolutely monstrous, but after much deliberation,
I decided it was best to shorten it. So that being said, it cuts off shorter
than where I wanted it to and you end up knowing even less than I had
originally intended. Lol. This one is out there, so I’m not sure if you all are
going to be into this, but this is me testing the waters…. Although you won’t
really know what I’m talking about until later chapters. I honestly hope you
all do like it though, because I tried my best to make it not hokey and it was fun to
write. So, here is part one. Feedback is awesome and greatly appreciated (: I
hope you all like it and the second chapter will be released soon!! (: xx
you whispered under your breath, tapping the cold tip of a blue ink pen against
your lips in thought. “Illogical incompatibility between two or more
couldn’t make sense of it. A contradiction was bad, wasn’t it? A diabetic who
eats sweets, a policeman killing a human being; those were bad right? The
entire point of a contradiction was that one was the opposite of the other;
positive against negative. So how in the world were you supposed to write a
philosophy paper on the positive influence of contradictions when in your mind,
there wasn’t any? No one ever liked to order jumbo shrimp, just to see it’s
really not jumbo because after all, it was still a shrimp. If not a contradiction,
then maybe you could write about paradoxes. As you thought, your frustration grew.
A paradox was still just as messy in your head. Of course you understood the
concept, just not the logistics; you didn’t make it to university while being
clueless. But inevitably, contradictions led to destruction or disappointment
for someone. The oldest house on the street always gets remodeled to look
modern like all the others, a lion that’s a vegetarian would eventually die,
and the sun would overtake the moon every single time. The cogs in your brain
spurred like clockwork; there was no dispute about these facts, and yet that’s
what you were asked to do. What was the point? One side always lured the other
in place against the kitchen counter, you quickly muttered apologies to your
boss, grabbing the orders waiting to be taken out. The remnants of your
internal debate raged in your head as you worked, though you still maintained
your polite demeanor. Work dragged on, as it always did. For what seemed like
the millionth time, you silently wished you were rich and never had to deal
with stuff like annoying customers or leering guys. You felt slightly guilty
for thinking that way when the owners of the small restaurant had treated you
so well all throughout your employment. But sometimes that wasn’t enough.
Dreaming of an easier life had become a favourite pastime of yours; dipping
into your alternate reality in your spare moments and imagining a life without
rules or responsibilities. In the end, reality was cruel and you could never
stay in your fantasy for long when school fees and rent money were constantly
knocking on your door. A sigh heaved through your chest as you glanced at the
clock, relieved when you saw you only had a few minutes left. Grabbing your
things from the back of the small shop, you sauntered to the clock, dragging
your feet as you went. Staring at the number on the small digital display, you
cheered it on in your head. Distantly, you wondered why minutes always seemed
so short on your break, yet so long when it was time to go home. An eternity
seemed to pass, when the clock finally flashed in a change of numbers. Punching
yourself out, you sighed in relief even though you knew you would just be back
tomorrow. Waving good bye to the owners who treated you as family, you made
your way to the door, all too happy to go home to your small, overcrowded
fall; wind whistled through the trees and leaves fluttered across the pavement,
a telltale sign that winter was most definitely coming. Cupping your hands, you
breathed out, fingers wriggling in delight at the burst of warmth only to
shrivel again in the frigid air. Stuffing your hands into your pockets, you
buried your face in your maroon colored scarf; the last thing you needed right
now was to catch a cold. It was an eerie sort of night; the kind that set even
the most stable of people on edge. You weren’t sure why, but each time your
foot connected with the pavement, you felt that much more uneasy. Brushing it
off as superstition, your mind drifted to more pressing matters; like your
paper. The image of your teacher’s disappointed look loomed in your head making
your jaw tense. You didn’t have a single word written yet, though you’d had
plenty of time to start. That wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t due in two
days. Feeling the wind nipping at your heels, you picked up your pace,
desperate to be welcomed by the warmth of your home and hopefully food if your
roommate was feeling generous. Shadow blanketed over every surface and as you
passed an alley in between homes, you almost didn’t see him; Almost.
glimmer of silver caught your eye, instinctively making you turn your head to
see what it was. There, in the middle of an abandoned alley which was littered
by trash and stray pieces of nature, was a boy. Dressed in all black with a
backpack slung over his shoulders, you couldn’t make out his face as he seemed
to stare blankly at the wall in front of him. His fingers were stuffed in the
pockets of his ripped skinny jeans. His shirt hung loose on his skinny frame,
and you couldn’t help but shiver just from looking at him. Speculating at how
he wasn’t freezing in a mere long sleeve shirt, you stopped in your tracks,
tilting your head and outright staring at the boy. You would have moved on and
continued home, curiosity growing short, but then he spoke. Unable to make out
the words, your brow furrowed, squinting to see who he was talking to with no
avail. Your heart quickened against your rib cage when you realized there
really was no one there. Frozen in place, you wondered if you should just continue
on, but a misplaced sense of responsibility prevented you from doing so. Taking
a step closer, you realized now that it wasn’t only his jeans that had holes,
but his shirt too. Not enough to be obvious, just tiny dots of milky skin
peeking out in spots, but it was enough to fortify that feeling of concern
inside you as your mind immediately ran to the thought of him being homeless. His
lips moved once more, but you still couldn’t hear with the wind whispering in
your ears, then he nodded once and his gaze drifted to the ground like he was
watching something. Your eyes caught sight of something like a flash, making
you stop in your tracks. For a moment, you could have sworn you saw the gleam
of bone, exposed and shimmering in the moonlight. However when you blinked,
attempting to peer through the shadow of night, it was gone and his fingers,
which had looked skeletal only moments ago, appeared perfectly normal. Shaking
your head, you dismissed the thought, convinced it was a mere trick of the
eyes. But for some reason, a lingering feeling of trepidation remained. Quaking
in your shoes, you walked closer to the boy, clearing your throat, despite your
me? Are you okay?” Your timid voice filtered out from your cold lips. His head
whipped to the side, his eyes latching with yours and drawing you short of
breath; he was beautiful.
chiseled line of his jaw tensed as he eyed you with indifference, the black
pools of his iris’s sending a shudder down your spine. His hair shone in the
blue cast glow of the moon, though you could clearly see that it was a very
light blonde. Tousled perfectly across his forehead it was nearly silver in
fact, almost devoid of both color and shading. Smooth pearly skin stretched
over his cheekbones, sharp and just wide enough to create an elegant line
slanting down to his lips. They appeared soft, even while in a bored line,
though perhaps a little chapped from negligence. Catching hold of his gaze,
which had analyzed you, just as you had done so to him, you felt your heartbeat
quicken, suddenly feeling like an ant beneath a magnifying glass. But he didn’t
care if you burned. You knew he could tell you were squirming under his stare
as the side of his mouth quirked upward in a cocky smirk. Realizing he wasn’t
going to answer you, you tried again, “Can I call someone for you? I thought I
heard you talking to someone… but maybe not. I can help you if you need it.”
of a smile played on his lips as he lowered his head, shaking it and moving
towards you. Lifting his head, he stared you down, coming to stand a mere
thirty centimeters away from you. Flustered by the sudden proximity, you gulped
nervously, unsure if you liked being placed under this level of scrutiny.
Unable to hold his gaze, you averted your eyes, choosing to look at the ground
instead. Panic shot through you, now terrified that you’d made a very big
mistake by talking to this gorgeous, but undeniably strange, boy. For all you
knew, he could be a nutcase, waiting for the perfect prey.
you think I need help?” Low and rough, his voice made your skin prick. Raising
your eyes, you saw the devilish look which most college guys carried plastered
on his features, tempering the flurry of caution raging inside of you.
you only have a shirt with holes on and it’s definitely not summer.” You
replied, eyes flicking up and down his body, not missing the way he didn’t even
flinch as the wind picked up while your own body curled in to shield itself.
“Not to mention you were talking to a wall.”
barked out a short laugh, though it didn’t seem to reach the iciness in his
eyes. “I wasn’t talking to a wall.”
young,” He replied shortly, seemingly annoyed, while pulling his hands out of
his pockets, revealing a white phone in his right hand. Lifting it in front of
your face so that it nearly touched the tip of your nose, he shook the chunk of
plastic to taunt you. “Haven’t you ever heard of a cellphone?”
not an idiot—“swatting his hand away from your face, your skin brushed his
briefly, but it was enough for you to realize just how cold he was. Eyes
widening, you snatched his hand in yours after he slipped his phone back into
his pocket. His skin felt like marble; smooth and soft, yet freezing to the
touch. Instinct made your limbs move, ripping your own hands out of the cloth
shielding your fingers from the cold. As soon as he realized you were trying to
place them on his own hands, he moved to pull his hand back only for you to
snatch it up again. Letting out an annoyed sigh, he stopped struggling to allow
you to slip them over his knuckles. Staring down at his wool covered hands you
almost giggled, finding the contrast of his black clothes to your bright
turquoise gloves comical.
your lips trembling as you held back a smile, he glared at your figure. “This
isn’t gonna help, you know.”
be dumb. Your hands were freezing; there’s no need to try to act cool just so
you can freeze to death.”
are you even doing out here like that, anyway?” You cut him short, not wanting
to hear more of his excuses.
eyebrows rose, caught off guard by the question, only to relax into the same
uninterested gaze. Sarcastically, he replied, “I was going for a walk.”
Ignoring his obnoxious response, you prodded.
“Do you have anywhere to go?”
smile etched across his lips, “and if I don’t?”
knew it was a challenge, but you weren’t sure what type it was. He was guarded;
that you could tell. But he didn’t seem dangerous; he looked about the same age
as you and the only thing he seemed to have was a backpack, so how much harm
could he really do? From a young age, you were chided and preached to about
bringing strangers home, but something about him made you go against what you
had been taught. Finding yourself trying to sway your mind into believing that
you had no ulterior motives, you debated your options. Unsure of whether it was
your conscience or the way the downward slope of his eyes made your heart
flutter in your chest, you came to a conclusion.
I guess you’ll be coming home with me then.” The words tumbled out of your
mouth much brasher than you had intended and you could feel your cheeks growing
red. His eyes widened at your words, evidently not expecting that reply, before
he let out a low chuckle, making you sputter. “I mean if you want to, because
you really don’t if that’s not okay with you. I wouldn’t want you to feel
soft rise and fall of your voice became lost in the wind as he stared down at
you, something flashing behind his eyes that you didn’t quite understand. When
he spoke, it was different from before. No longer playful, though he only ever
spoke coldly, now his words held a note of warning, as though pressuring you to
see something you could not. “Are you sure?”
you? Honestly, the answer was no. But as far as you were concerned, you
couldn’t very well leave him and let the cold turn him towards his grave. So,
though a little reluctant, you responded, “Yes.”
features immediately softened, lips upturning into a small smile, the creepy
look dissipating altogether and reverting back into the nonchalant boy you had
originally come across. “Alright, then.”
little unnerved by his sudden change in attitude, you nodded. Even though it
was you who had invited him, you hadn’t really expected him to come along. So
when you heard the sound of his shoes scratching the pavement behind you, you
jumped a little. Refusing to look at him, you walked on in silence, though he
hadn’t seemed to mind. Your brain was in overdrive, trying to process what had
just happened as you tried to grasp at your sanity. Silently, you screamed at
yourself for not only inviting a stranger to your home, but one that talked to
walls to boot. Hoping to alieve a little of the tension and gather at least a
little information before he stepped inside the walls of your sanctuary, you
attempted to make conversation.
what’s your name?” You asked bashfully.
He replied plainly, his manner remaining aloof.
brow furrowed, trying not to laugh when you realized he wasn’t joking. “Your
parents named you that?”
snorted under his breath at your question and you were graced with a small lipped
smile, sending warmth flowing through your body like honey. “No, it’s just a
what’s your real name?”
or at least it is to you,” He said firmly, making you feel small. Noticing your
confidence shrink, he drawled, “For now. Maybe I’ll tell you eventually; if you
don’t kick me out first.”
you felt your cheeks warm up, happy that he was at least a little compassionate
somewhere beneath his exterior. “Well, I’m Y/N.”
Caught off guard, you looked at him suspiciously. Your body tensed, trying to
not freak out and demand he tell you how he knew your name. Taming your panic,
you merely muttered, “How?”
coats not zipped up and you have a name tag on.” An amused smirk peeked out
from the side of his lip.
you replied lamely, feeling stupid for not realizing sooner that you still had
your work clothes on as the air between you two quieted.
home, you had to admit that the extra pair of feet clanging against the
pavement along with your own was a welcome sound. Though you barely knew the
tall lanky man, his presence made you feel safer than when you had been alone.
However, his accompaniment couldn’t change the weather. The wind bit at your
limbs and you shivered, cupping your hands to your mouth and breathing on them.
A small part of you regretted giving the mystery boy your gloves as you eyed
his hands swinging comfortably by his sides. Noticing you staring, his head
turned toward you and you immediately responded by turning your gaze away.
Being quicker than you, he caught what you were looking longingly at.
you not to give me them.” Suga growled beside you, sliding the fabric off his
hands and holding them out to you.
you didn’t.” You replied, obstinacy getting the better of you as you shook your
head to say no to his offer. “You said they wouldn’t help.”
thing.” He said shortly, putting the gloves back on before scooping your hand
up in his. The fuzz of the glove rubbed against your fingers as he laced your
hands together and stuffed them inside your coat pocket.
are you doing?” you sputtered, trying to remove your hand but to no avail as
his refused to budge from its spot.
won’t take them so this is a compromise.” Latched on like an octopus, he side
your face away, you took your best attempt at hiding your flushed face. Erratic
thumps of your heart hit your ribs, though you knew it was silly for you to be
so worked up. After all, he was just a stranger. Thankfully, the walk came to
an end as your home came into view. Standing tall in the night, you knew it
wasn’t the most impressive of apartment buildings with its chipping paint job
and broken screens. But it was better than nothing.
here.” You mumbled. A breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding left the
confines of your lungs when his hand slipped out of yours, though an odd
feeling of disappointment crept up in you as well.
up the stairwell, you fumbled with the keys in front of your door before
sliding the lock free and pushing the slab of wood open. The familiar scent of
your roommates cooking wafted towards you and you felt your mouth beginning to
salivate. Suga followed you in, slipping off his shoes just as you had done.
Perking his head, he gazed around the small home interestedly. In the light,
you could see that his clothes were more worn than you had thought. Dirt
stained the fabric and the damage it looked like it had taken was seemingly
unrepairable. His body pivoted, turning to face you, fully satisfied with his
inspection and as he did you saw a flash of red beneath his shirt. Alarm
broiled inside you and you tried to discreetly peek through the hole to see
what the shirt was hiding. A low clearing of his throat made your head snap up,
meeting his eyes in a suffocating gaze. Tearing your eyes from his, you
shrugged your coat off of your shoulders, hanging it in the closet.
a bathroom down the hall if you want to shower and get those clothes off. I’ll
bring you something else to wear.” You motioned your hand towards the empty
a word, he disappeared into the bathroom, backpack in hand. Hearing the door
slide shut behind him, you scrambled towards your roommates room. Knocking a
few times, you entered the room, happy to see her sitting on her bed and
staring into her books. Her voice filtered lightly through the room, “Who were
you talking to—“
on the bed, you frantically cut her off. “Okay, so don’t get mad but this guy
was in the alley when I was coming home and I think he might be off or
something but I didn’t want to leave him there so I kind of brought him home?”
what?!” She replied, fury exuding from her body as she slammed her school book
know.” You hung your head low. “I’m sorry but he’s not like a murderer or
anything… at least I don’t think so. It’ll just be for tonight.”
She groaned, her palm covering her face in frustration. “You really need to
learn when it’s not a good time to be charitable.”
sorry… can he borrow some of your boyfriends clothes though?”
Doesn’t he have clothes?” Shaking your head no, she sighed and got up to go to
her dresser. Picking out some basketball shorts and a plain black tee, she
threw them at you, hitting you in the face. “If I get killed tonight, I’m
totally coming back just so I can haunt your ass.”
you.” You said cutely, slipping out of the room before she flung something else
in your direction.
your living area, you analyzed the area. Being students, you weren’t exactly
rolling in money and had opted for cheap furniture when you had gotten the
apartment. There was more space in your apartment than objects in all honesty.
A low budget had left you with a small two seater couch and an arm chair.
Neither was really bed material, much too small for the dream-like boy you had
picked up on your way home. A bittersweet feeling ran through you as you
realized you were left with minimal options. Not wanting Suga to have to be
greeted by your roommate in the morning, you decided he would have to sleep in
your own room. Passing by the bathroom, you could hear the heavy streams of the
shower through the door and placed the clothing on the floor where he would
find it. Lifting out fabric from the closet, you shuffled to the room, throwing
it lazily on the floor. Spreading the futon, you made up a small bed for Suga
beside your own. Testing it once, you decided it was good enough and changed
into your pajamas.
you got a glass of water from the kitchen, the door of the bathroom opening and
Suga barrelling out of it and bumping into you. Letting out a surprised yelp,
you nearly lost your footing. Your hand with the glass shot out to the side to
stabilize yourself, only for your fingers to lose its grip on the beverage.
Frigid fingers caught your hand, saving you from dropping the glass. Blinking,
you looked up to see his eyes glued to your drink. His hair was messy and wet,
tendrils sticking to his face and neck. Beads of water, dribbled down his skin
while a slick sheen of moisture stuck to his flesh, making him shine. Mere
centimeters away from him, you could smell the fruity scent of your shampoo
clinging to his body. His lips were plump in the low light and a carnal part of
you ached to reach up and claim them as yours. Despite all the odd quirks, he
seemed like a manifestation of your own imagination; perfectly handsome, but
mixed with a splash of danger. Hand still encased by his, he flicked his eyes
toward you, faces only a small movement away. Eyes bore into yours and you
became aware of the way his body loomed over yours, curling towards you as the
wall brushed against your back. The places his fingers touched yours seemed to
burn, only to fade as he removed his hand from yours, backing away from you.
do you want me to sleep?” He rasped, spurring you out of your day dream.
You mumbled, doing your best to hide the disappointment in your voice, though
you yourself couldn’t understand where it was coming from. You weren’t usually
like this; fawning over strangers and getting into suggestive situations.
Keeping your iris’s glued to the ground, you walked toward the bedroom. “I made
up a bed in my room. I didn’t think you’d want to sleep on the couch seeing as
you wouldn’t be able to fit on it.”
hummed in response, curious eyes fluttering around your room as soon as he
stepped foot in it. Quietly, you crawled under the plush covers of your own
bed, shakily placing your glass of water on the small table next to your bed.
Suga didn’t go to the makeshift bed; he simply skimmed his eyes over it before
plopping down in your desk chair by the window. Propping his feet up, he stared
out the window, eyes flickering back and forth from different stars. The moon
filtered through the glass, striking his cheekbones and turning them alight.
You were by no means a painter of any sort, but an itching came to your fingers
that you had never experienced before. Watching him was like watching a
masterpiece unfold and you couldn’t help but want to capture that beauty.
Surrounded by a feeling of remoteness, he seemed untouchable to you; in a
league far different than your own. But nevertheless, you wanted to be let in
by the golden gates of his defences. You wanted to know why he looked so tired,
staring into the sky. Why his actions didn’t seem to match is gruff exterior.
But words eluded you as your body felt heavy, sinking deliciously into the
mattress. Though he was a stranger, you didn’t feel cautious at all, in fact
you felt just as comfortable as any other day, despite his presence. Fighting
to keep your eyes open, you desperately wanted to ask him what he was thinking
about that made him look so serious, but sleep was upon you and sucking you in.
you, Y/N.” A low grumbled cut into your senses, though not rousing you fully.
welcome; though I’m sure someone would’ve taken you in if I hadn’t.” You
slurred, your brain slowing to a crawl as darkness dragged it down into its
finally got the better of you and you could feel yourself falling into the
world of your imagination. The last sound hitting your ears being, “That’s not
what I meant.”