like jesus people

punsbulletsandpointythings  asked:

Your myth retellings are gorgeous. Would you tell another please? Maybe something with Hermes?

Pandora is made from earth, shaped by the hands of Hephaestus and made in the image of his beloved wife. Aphrodite gifts her with grace and charisma. Athena teaches her to weave and bestows cleverness upon her.

She stands in front of Hermes, and the god frowns and touches her with a single fingertip on her chin, moving her head one way than the other. “They’ll eat you alive,” he says, and she doesn’t understand.

She tilts her head to the side and smiles a vacant smile. All of the cleverness in the world will do her no good without any context. “We are the same,” she says, pressing a hand to Hermes’s chest. She is made from earth and has the skin to mach. He is a celestial god, and his skin is the same rich shade of brown.

He did not ask to be born any more than his mother asked to bare him. His creation, just like hers, is at the whims of Zeus. All for some little lost fire, all because Prometheus wanted his people to be warm, and, well, he is the god of the thieves after all –

So he gifts her with deceit, with selfishness, with cunning. Her smile leaves her face all at once as she’s filled with self-awareness. “He’ll be angry with you,” she says, “I am not what you were supposed to make.”

“Gods have short memories,” he says, and doesn’t bother to hide the contempt in his voice. “Do not worry about me, gifted child. You have larger problems than my fate.”

He has turned her from something pure into – something more like him. Her face darkens even further as her perfectly crafted mind slots all the pieces together, and he can’t help but find her lovely. It’s how she was made, after all. “I can’t stop it, can I? Whatever they’re planning for me to do?”

“No,” Hermes says, “but now you might be able to survive it.”

“Will I want to?” she asks, and he doesn’t answer. She doesn’t expect him too.


She hides from everyone, lives in a cave at the edge of the city. The gods had called her the first woman, but that’s not true, she can see.

There are women. They smile and laugh have work roughened hands. She aches to join them, but she has the beauty of a goddess. They will know. If she joins them, they will know she is not of them, and it will set into motion whatever trap Zeus has planned.

She is not human, not in the same way, molded from clay by a god’s hands. But she is of humans, and not eager to bestow upon them the harm she’s destined to bring them. She bathes in streams where only nymphs reside, steals into the city in the cloak of night and pilfers from the baker’s trash.

“When they said they sent my brother a wife,” a low, amused voice says too close behind her one night, “I had not expected a begger.”

She whirls around, hard bread clenched tight in front of her, an incredibly inefficient shield. Her breath catches in her throat when she sees him, dark and tall and eyes like the night sky. He looks like Hermes. Like her. “Who are you?” she demands. They’re in an alley corner, and of her gifts flight is not among them. She’ll have to fight him to get away.

She’s not afraid of him. Maybe another mortal would be, cornered in the middle of the night by a man she doesn’t know. But she’s no normal mortal woman, and besides – he has something comforting about him, like the hearthfire attended by Hestia. Something warm.

“I am Prometheus,” says the man, and no wonder he reminds her of fire. “What do they call you?”

“You are meant to be in the deepest pits of Hades’s realm,” she snaps, and shifts her grip on the stale bread so that she can throw it at him. He’s the whole reason she’s here to begin with, him and his thievery.

He shrugs and walks closer to her, watching her like one would watch a wild animal. Good. Here, in this dark alley where no one would find a cooling body until morning, it is he that should be afraid. “Gods forget,” he says, “and Hades had grown cold in his place beneath the earth.”

She pauses, considers. “You stole fire for Hades?”

“No,” he corrects, “I stole fire for the people. But Hades benefited as well. Enough that he was willing to forget the terms of my punishment.”

“What do you want?” she asks for the second time. “Why are you here?”

He stops, too close to her, “The question is why are you here?”

She steps into his space now, following him as he backs away from her, “I am here because of you, fire-stealer, because gods may forget but they do not forgive, and I am the punishment they have unleashed upon the world.”

“What a punishment you are,” he says, looking at her lips, and she forgets to hate him only long enough to kiss him.


Hermes watches her, watches them. He doesn’t know Zeus’s plan, if this is part of it or not, but he watches her, and he worries. He thinks it is, he can see Aphrodite’s magic clinging to Pandora, but he doesn’t know why.

He would go to his mother, but she’s always difficult to find, Gaea preferring to live in streams and rivers rather than face the man she bore a son for. But his mother’s father, on the other hand, is always in the same place.

“Grandfather,” Hermes greets, touching lightly down onto the earth, “How are you?”

“How am I always, boy?” Atlas grunts out, legs and arms straining as he holds up the sky above the earth. “Tired.”

Hermes lips quirk up the corners. Some days, he thinks he’s more Atlas’s grandson than he’s Zeus’s son. “I need some advice, Grandfather.”

Atlas raises an eyebrow, “I’m listening.”

So Hermes tells him everything, from beginning to end, because he can’t figure out what his father’s plan is, but Atlas might. He’s known the man for longer, at least.

Atlas nods, slow, and says, “A bride of gods, a gifted child. I can think of only one reason to create such a child.” Hermes waits. Atlas sighs and says, “There is a jar, within Olympus, that becomes sealed when it leaves the realm of the gods. After that, only a being neither mortal nor celestial may open it.”

“What are they planning to put inside?” Hermes demands, heart spiking. What are they planning to unleash upon the unsuspecting earth?

His grandfather smirks, “It doesn’t matter. What matters is this – what are you going to put inside?”

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I know it’s Christmas and I don’t want to be posting this first thing but…

I couldn’t sleep and I go on Twitter and I see this shit.

And I’m really sad now.

. @thisiseverydayracism @thisiswhiteculture @mixedgirlrants

When you see someone in the Carmilla tag complaining that the bundles are just Elise and Natasha and you're like oh no how dare a show called Carmilla where the protagonist is Laura and the Hollstein relationship is core only use the two actors playing those two characters to promote it! What a shock that the two main characters and central relationship are what people (the majority) want to see!

I worry that the loudest voices in the church about LGBTQA+ experiences are white gay men.
I also dislike the phrase “s*me-g*nder attraction” instead of LGBTQA+ because it excludes me and people like me from the discussion completely. When I go looking for LGBTQA+ resources in the church, that’s all I find, and asexuality and aromanticism might as well not even exist to anyone but me. It’s a rly sad, hard feeling. I don’t experience s*me g*nder attraction, but I also don’t experience opposite gender attraction. I’m not straight. I belong in the LGBTQA+ community. I have questions. I want resources and representation and I want to have something to show my parents when I explain who I am.

What do you call a martian anthropologist with lung problems?


askabeheeyem  asked:

*Gently pets neck fur as his fingers light up to signify joy*

Hypno : “ Hum… You’re very careful …. Thank … you ? I guess It is acceptable coming from a different species … “

External image

Featuring @askabeheeyem ! Thank you for the message !

I woke up to these two hanging together at the most romantic Altissia right, so I decided to stalk with the camera to see if I caught any fluffy romance.

Ya know cause OTP but while I waited I realized

I wasn’t the only one staring

ALL those NPC were lined up back there just watching?

So now you know all Altissia NPCs secretly ship Gladnis 

You know, I love you, Gladio, but it’s hard spending the while together with all those people staring. Can everybody please stop? I can see you.

Lol I’m going to vent about my mommy issues for a hot second I’m sorry

Literally this woman has consistently been the most emotionally (and sometimes physically) abusive person in my life. She’s getting remarried and is pressuring me to be in her wedding, but she’s literally only known her fiancé for two months. And on top of that, he’s a huge homophobic, racist asshole. He made a joke about fags in front of my sisters lesbian best friend right in front of her (not knowing she’s gay but) and has a giant ass confederate flag in his basement so like?? Why would I want anything to do with this wedding???? And now she’s calling and texting me, shaming me for not wanting to be a part of this and I’m just like.. Seriously, I haven’t talked to you since Christmas and this is why. I hope you’re happy with your life, with your shitty ass husband who thinks I’m a dirty fag, but I’m not going to be a part of it.

no offense but if a trans person tells you their preferred name and you refuse to use their preferred name and make no attempt to correct this mistake then you’re a piece of shit

the mattfoggy fic rec no one asked for

i’m gonna rate them using cute little hearts ♥ (from one to three hearts), they are all really good but i love some more than others for personal reasons. enjoy… or not.

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current jam: “Midnight Radio” (Stephen Trask) - Lucas Steele

know in your soul

like your blood knows the way

from your heart to your brain

know that you’re whole


soma au where maka is a werewolf and soul is a vampire in a world where the two hate each other like cats and dogs

but neither of them know the other’s true species because:

they meet online and they email and video chat and they both make excuses for whatever, like:

“yeah I can’t video chat tonight, my period hit, I get really emotional and it gets kinda hairy” - Maka on the night of the full moon

“oh these dark circles? yeah I don’t really sleep well and honestly, I haven’t been to a doctor in a long time, but I think I’m anaemic” – Soul

and they’re on opposite sides of the world and Maka always asks why Soul’s awake in the middle of the night and she asks him if he’d prefer if she stays up, but he says he’s a “bit nocturnal so it’s fine”

Maka gripes over shaving her legs bc the hair grows back really fast, Soul grumbles about how he’s always really thirsty hungry but he’s on a vegan diet because he thinks killing is inhumane, and they bond over little things even though they’re in a world that would have never given them a chance to interact if they had been in just smelling distance

and they both think the other’s human, and it worries them both how attached they’re getting when turning a human is a very bad thing, but loving a vampire/werewolf isn’t even a crime bc it’s never happened because the two species can’t stand the very presence of each other

so imagine how meeting the other in the airport would go

I want this AU like nothing else but I already have like 40 god help me