like it's not obvious to anyone who knows me


I’ve started a series where I wanted to do modernized!Shakespeare. I don’t think its finished but these are some of my favorite characters so far. A few things:

  • The men in Midsummer Night’s Dream are so awful.. @willy shakes set the women free please…. set them free. also let the ladies date
  • [looks at my half-dozen drawing of Benvolio/Mercutio vs. my single drawing for Romeo/Juliet] What do you mean Bencutio isn’t the main couple in R&J?
  • #LetBenvolioSayFuck2k17
  • I kept the soccer thing for Viola & Duke… She’s the Man is flawed but it’s also my childhood just let me keep the soccer thing
  • I demand more genderqueer Viola
  • Shoutout to anyone who picks up on Hippolyta’s outfit i know its rly obvious but just. shoutout
  • Hero deserves so much better than Claudio. Hence, the obvious Hamilton…. In fact there’s a lot of designs clearly inspired by certain actors…..
  • One old Mercutio designs is inspired by @crystallizedtwilight which im like 90% sure their design is also inspired by certain R&J production’s character design but anyways credit to them

chloe: you’re so cute
chloe: you’re like smartest most talented person i’ve ever known
chloe: i dare you to kiss me. i double dare you. kiss me now
chloe: i don’t think anyone is good enough for you… besides me
chloe: we were meant to be together at this exact moment in history
max (literally, in her diary): who KNOWS how she really sees me??

  • me: *takes a deep breath*
  • me: i lo-
  • anyone who has spent five seconds around me ever: yes, you love pidge gunderson, we know, you love pidge so much, she's the light of your life, you love her so much, you just love pidge, we KNOW , you love pidge you fucking love pidge fucking gunderson ok we know, we get it, YOU LOVE PIDGE. WE GET IT.

ok we’ve definitely hit on this subject before but ill hit on it once more because i cant get enough of the characters that have, like, tells

that one thing that signals anyone who knows them that they’re not feeling like themselves. maybe its the way that they dress, or talk, or they get quieter, or angrier, but something obvious about them changes when they’re ill 

i just imagine a stylish character showing up in a, comfortable, simple outfit, looking a little less fabulous than they usually do. heck, give me a character whos in pajama bottoms and messy hair and doesnt give a crap what they look like because they already feel awful

Or a nice, happy character being super quiet and irritable for seemingly no reason, snapping at people for things that they’d usually brush off without a second thought

oh um in case anybody didnt know this

press ALT + Z to hide the UI in overwatch 

i know the games been out 5ever and i shoulda known this but I DIDN’T so for anyone who wants to make gifs or take screenshots for pretty wallpaper stuff you can do this

i know it’s probably obvious and everyone probably already knows but this is for everyone else like me who didnt!!!! so here you go!!

i feel like i shoulda known since its been the same buttons in other games ive tried but i was pressing CTRL + Z instead of ALT + Z the entire time and i feel like a dumbass

anonymous asked:

Robin always gave me petty vibes but this is just

i gave him a chance and he broke it lmao im not gonna support people who directly attack their fellow contestants like that (and before anyone says salvador did that, we dont know what salvadors intentions were or what he meant, whereas with robin its pretty fucking obvious)

i hate it so much when im clearly upset and pushing someone away and they literally just leave?? like.. nobody ever wants to say “hey i know you dont really wanna be alone so im not gonna leave and im gonna make sure ur okay and happy before i ever do have to leave you by yourself” am i really not worth doing that for?

Korrasami Mini crack 10: Dating

(Something I made really quick before going to class. If anyone is confused, Asami=Santana…so the person, aka Santana, who Korra is talking about at the end is Asami….if that wasn’t obvious….Glee presented me with this chance and I took it alright guys? :P)

Previous, Next, All parts, More Korra videos

ive been meaning to make this post for a while and i justt.

victoria truly does not care too much about kate. and before you start saying “thats not true!!” let me explain

at the beginning of the game, it is totally realistic that vic is doing it out of insecurity. it seems like it, it looks like it, and it feels pretty believable. but then it gets to episode 2, and kate is on the roof. now, if someone was truly acting out like this to someone to feel better about themselves, they’d realize there that they messed up.

but what does vic do?

she records it.

i want to know what was going through her mind when she saw the girl that she had harassed, bullied, and tormented up on a roof about to jump to her death.

i want to know what goes through her head, after already making a life destroying video about kate, to decide to pull out her phone to get her fall on camera.

later on in episode 4, if kate lives, you visit her in the hopital. now this is the scene where people think that vic regrets what she did, and understandably so. in kate’s hospital room, there’s a letter from victoria.


I know you hate me and you should but I only want to see your smile again. 

Please let me know if you need anything.



first reaction: she regrets what she is done and sorry about it!

but if you take a second look at the letter, she never actually apologizes. she never says the words “I’m sorry”

or even actually references to the idea that she’s sorry about it at all.

personally, if i had ever played any part at all in a scenario like the one that drove kate to death, i would be writing “im sorry”’s every other line. id make sure that person knew how sorry i was. id make sure that person know how awful i felt.

vic, her main harasser, does none of this, and instead points out a short version of “yeah i suck”

later on in episode 4, you have to talk to vic again. this time in the conversation, its very clear that she does not feel like owning up to her obvious mistakes.

this was where it pieced together for me. anyone who genuinely cared about someone’s well being after such a horrible occurrence would own up to just a crucial mistake.

“but it is difficult to say sorry sometimes!”

in a situation like this, an apology is greatly needed. Absolutely needed. victoria knows this, everyone knows this. and not an apology phrased like this:

thats not how you apologize for inadvertently killing/almost killing someone. this whole section of their conversation was filled with dismissive tones, and a seemingly lack of caring about the topic in general on victoria’s part

in the next scene, she even uses kate’s position (that she created) to try and gain more popularity:

these last lines confirmed it for me.

after the all of this was over i had to think about what i had heard and saw. from these things, it pieced together that she had/has no major concern for kate, kate’s feelings, or kate’s safety in general.

and i know many of you are now probably thinking of the scene in episode 5, and i’ll talk about that now.

these girls are in a nightmare position. they’ve been drugged, kidnapped, photographs, and god knows what else.

victoria has every right in the world to cry and be upset and scared. she’s been through a hell that she probably doesnt even remember. she doesnt know if she’s even going to make it out alive.

to tie it in with kate: it took this long and this far for her to realize that she messed up. its when she has no idea if she’ll live or die that she realizes her mistakes with how she treated her, showing like before that this was not her main regret, concern, or worry after a suicide/attempted suicide that she caused.

reviewing all of this, these questions come to mind:

why did she videotape kate? what had she done to vic to make her choose her to lash out against? we know from what we’ve been told that kate has always been quiet, is all for abstinence, and hung out with two people no one else really spoke to (stella and alyssa). from these things you can infer that before the video she probably never even had a conversation with victoria, let alone a reason to be used as a target.

so why her?

in summary/tldr; kate meant nothing to victoria, and was used as a way to lash out her insecurities. she was, and is, nothing more and nothing less to her than that.

ghostbusters (1984)

#suicide cw

as part of this national film registry project thing im doing (yes i’m still doing that, i promise), i think i said in the past that there was little point in reviewing these films critically (because they’ve been done [looks at the camera] to death. and because its fucking ghostbusters. what could i possibly say that hasnt already been said?) and that the focus of my reviews was to be my personal response to them. this is particularly personal, overwrought and a little melodramatic.

i don’t remember how old i am. im 11 or 12 when my uncle dies. my mother has an unusual reaction to this news; initially she tells us and we (my mother, sister and i) have an uncomfortable discussion and then i am sent to bed. then in a few minutes she lets herself into my room. “no one’s going to bed sad tonight”, she says. and we don’t. i watch “raising arizona” for the first time and i laugh. this is my first coen brothers film, the first of many.
movies become the visual equivalent to comfort food.

my mother shows me a lot of movies. we sit and watch turner classic movies together on the weekends. movies come and go without me learning their titles or attaching names to any of the actors. it isnt until years later, when i accidentally stumble on the movies again that i realize what and how significant they were. these movies weave themselves into my brain. books drill, music flows and ebbs, but movies weave. i never learn the right words to discuss movies with people in a way that convinces them of my passion, i never learn how to approach them academically, i never learn how to even begin to learn about movies. but i love them regardless. i’m already an insufferable snob.
“have you seen this?” she gestures at the tv with the remote. i shrug; i’m 15, i don’t know shit. on the tv a man is administering an esp test to two participants. i’m pretty sure that’s bill murray, the ‘groundhog day’ guy.
“it just started”, she says. “sit and watch.” she seems excited in a way i learn later is unique and just for me. it’s the excitement she gets when shes about to show me something i’ll love.
something clicks that day but i dont realize it yet. that night, despite swearing off art for the rest of my high school life (it had become apparent to me that there was no money in art and my parents were pushing me to be something extraordinary or, at the very least, become something worth going to college for) i draw my own ghostbuster while lying on the floor of my room. her name is maxine…something. i’ll figure it out later.

at 20 i’m making serious plans to kill myself. i’m looking up how to write and notarize wills in nevada to make sure everything i own goes to my sister. i’m allocating my meager savings to cover cremations, funeral costs and anything else that might further inconvenience my family. i am trying to slip away as quietly and simply as possible. my current existence is so loud and miserable; i cry and vomit frequently without control. i take up too much space in a world that feels grey and flavorless and not built for me. its time for me to go.
but i dont. instead i have a moment of horrified clarity and break down in the arms of my mother. i cry (again) and vomit (again) and tell her i’m scared and there’s something wrong with me but i don’t know what. i need help. the desire to die is overwhelming in its intensity. i don’t know how to make it stop.
but i realize soon that i do. theres a very obvious way to take away power from anything. the way i’ve been doing it my whole life, to anyone who has tried to bully me or frighten or coerce me.

make jokes about it.

i’m 25. it’s friday, july 15th 2016. i’ve got a comic to make for a living, i’m behind on my buffer and mad at myself for it. its about, uh, a bunch of losers who get rid of ghosts for a living. you know…like…ghostbusters. it’s a comedy comic. it’s funny, or it tries to be. people die in this comic. people are dead in this comic. being dead isn’t the end of the world in this comic. being dead, actually, is kinda funny. kinda fun. but kinda inconvenient too.
trying to talk about my comic to people makes me red hot with shame. “like ghostbusters” i tell people, to make my suicide/death fantasy comic accessible without having to get into details. i hope my id isnt too on display for when people i have to face in real life try to read it. i worry what they see of me in it, if what i put on display is too light when dealing with serious subjects or too revealing of myself. of how blatantly unoriginal it is. i feel like the comic is a too obvious reflection of myself. i feel exposed and ashamed. but i also feel happy more than i used to.
i don’t want to die anymore; if you cant make people laugh when you’re dead, then whats the point? i’m rewatching ghostbusters right now and remembering how much i like it and what i like about it. mom texts me about plane tickets and i pop back a little joke about how i cant even afford movie tickets. a ghostbusters reboot comes out today and its supposed to be alright. i’m looking forward to it. notably, the new ghostbusters are all women.

i cant wait to see the next generation’s maxine somethings.

reason (daryl dixon imagine) WARNING SMUT



I had been at ricks camp for about a week or more I made friends with some of the others. Carol was like my mentor she taught me how to be strong in a time of fear. Maggie became my best friend we would go out killing walkers who got to close to camp.

Lori was watching beth I know times are hard but hows shes acting pisses me off shes acting like a child.  Maggie and me went to check on the chicken coop talking about the only thing left guys.

“So you and glenn huh?”

“Yeah I think I love him”

“Wow maggie thats quick”

“Well you never know how long you get”

I laughed she was right thou , you never know how long you have anymore.

“You like anyone y/n?”

“Kinda I guess”

“Who? Please not shane”

“Of course not hes fuckin nuts , its daryl”

“Oh my god I knew it , andrea so called it”

I felt my cheeks go red. Was it really that obvious.  I mean yeah we flirted and a few times I crashed in his tent talkin all night. I liked him but I think he only saw me as a friend or just another stupid girl. Maggie and I collected the eggs that were there the sun beating down on me causing Sweat to run down my for head.  Once we got inside hershel offered us some water. I sat down at the table drinking my water. Shane came around the corner placing his hands on my shoulders massaging them. I stood up shrugging him off , his presence made me sick after what he did to hershels barn.

I walked outside to where carol and the others were sitting next to dale I sparked a conversation.

“Whats new everyone”

Dale smiled at me , I loved him he was like a dad to me.

“Nothing much enjoying a nice summer day”

Hes always tried to see the bright side.

Lori on the other hand didnt like me and I didnt like her.

“Dale can you see how crazy shanes becoming”

“Dont talk about him that way”

Lori now glaring at me.

“You know it’s true hes gonna end up trying to kill Rick”

“You dont know anything y/n so just shut it about shane”

“Oh sorry lori didnt mean to talk shit about your boyfriend”

She opened her mouth to scream but I walked away having the last word. I walked over to where daryl sat messing with his crossbow.

“Saw you and lori arguing”

“Eh it was nothing , pointed out shanes attitude and she got all defensive”

“Well yeah she wants her husband and he boy toy”

I giggled at his term boy toy. I sat down next to him taking out my blade and sharpening it agianst a stone.

“You’re not doing that right”

I looked up a daryl.


He put his hand over mine sending chills up my spine. He moved my hand across my blade showing me how to sharpen it without ruining it.

“Oh thanks”

He gave me a half smile.

“Us rednecks gotta stick togeather right”

I pushed his shoulder.

“We are not rednecks daryl we are country folk”

He laughed I loved when he laughed he never laughed. Yes okay im technically a “red neck” im a gorgia girl born and raised I can hunt and clean any animal put in front of me. My mama was a great woman till she met crystal stupid shit ruined everything. Anyway thats why I liked daryl he understood my way of thinking.

It was sunset and lori and Carol made dinner. I sat next to maggie whispering secrets about everyone when shane spoke.

“Whose taking night watch tonight”

Me and daryl both raised our hands , shane laughed.

“Daryl you been on watch every night ill take watch with y/n tonight”

“Uhh alright”

I shot daryl a look of panic mixed with please dont agree he shrugged at me knowing it wasnt worth the argument with him. After dinner I sat on the hood of the blue truck watching the moon take its place. I heard footsteps turing with my blade on my hand I spun straight into daryls chest.

Both his hands found my shoulders helping me gain my balance.

“Daryl what are you doing here?”

“Makin sure your okay with him”

He looked over me to where shane stood holding a shot gun pacing back and forth whispering to himself.

“Aw how sweet big ol tough daryl cares about little me”

“stop it”

He lightly shoved me with his shoulder. I swear I saw him blush but it was to dark to be positive.  I told daryl I was fine and to go get some sleep id call him if i needed   anything.  He nodded wrapping me in to him hugging me tightly. He has never hugged me.

When daryl got shot by Andrea I screamed running to him , i stayed by his side day and night after that we became closer than ever. I thought I heard a groan in the distance standing up I grabbed my binoculars looking into the trees I couldnt see anything. Finally when I thought it was safe I put my gun back into the truck.

I yawned feeling sleep wanting to take me away. I sat on the truck my legs dangling off the the hood. I leaned back letting my back lay against the cold metal of the truck.  I felt a presence I looked up seeing a manly figure sliding his hands upu legs grabbing my belt loops making me sit up.   I smacked the hands away laying back down closing my eyes. I figured it was daryl making sure I was alive.

“Did I tell you to go to bed daryl”

I sat back up to tell him but I came face to face with shane. His hands now on my hips pulling himself closer.

“Shane what the fuck get off”

I thrashed in his grip not makinging any difference.

“Come on y/n you know you want this , you basically welcomed me over laying back on the truck with your legs dangling ”

He tried to kiss me using my foot I kicked him making him step back. I stood up holding my ground.

“No shane I didnt "welcome” you so back off"

He grabbed my grabbed my arm Twisting it back making me fall to the ground. I was now on my back laying in the dirt shane got on his knees hovering over me using his knees to pin my legs and his hand to hold me arms over my head. His free hand started sliding over my shirt.

“Come on y/n i promise I’ll be better than the red neck”

His hand now about to go under my shirt I did the only thing I could with all my breath I screamed.


Shane slapped me aross the face. My face now now stinging a tear fell down my cheek. I kept screaming despite the pain.


I saw shanes hand wind up to smack me agian I closed my eyes whating for impact when I hear a slight click and a deep southern voice.

“Get off her or ill put a arrow thru yer skull”

I opened my eyes seeing daryl with his crossbow right in the back of shanes head.


Daryl yelled at shane, shane threw his hands up lifting himself off me. I stood up running over to hide behind daryl, he stepped in front of me keeping his crossbow pointed at shane.

“Y/n go back to my tent ill be there in a min”

I nodded running to daryls tent, I heard a bunch of yelling between him and shane to far to hear clearly. I heard a fight break out I got outta the tent looking ovet seeing daryl and shane full on fighting throwing punches , shane tackled daryl to the ground hitting him over and over. I grabbed my blade running as fast as I could. By the time I got there rick pulled them apart. Shane still yelling as daryl got up bleeding.

“Fuckin redneck piece of shit white trash”

He kicked dirt at daryl I ran over grabbing daryls arm letting him lean on me. Lori cams out screaming that it was my fault shane got hurt I felt my rage surface.

“You know what fuck you lori , im tired Of your shit , I love rick , I love shane Fuckin pick one ya slut”

She stood there speachless everyones eyes now on me I heard daryl chuckle behind me. Must of pissed shane off cause he screamed agian.

“Shut the fuck up redneck”

I pointed my rage at him walking over I let a sweet smile spread across my face before I booted him right in the groin. He feel to the ground holding his jewels.

“Dont call him a redneck again damn pig”

I grabbed daryls hand taking him back to his tent to clean him up. He fell down into his tent wincing in pain as He hit the ground , I climed in aftee zipping up the door.  I grabbed  ace bandages wrapping his swollen bloody knuckles. I cleaned up his face smiling at him not letting him see that seeing him like this killed me. After I was done cleaning him up I sat against the door rubbing my temples.

“Ya alright there?”

“I guess , I might have to leave the group I cant deal with this shit”

Looking over I saw daryl staring at me wide eyed.

“You cant just go y/n ”

“Pretty sure im not wanted after that whole scream fest”
Well if ya go im leavin with ya”

“Daryl you dont have to do that , you have a place here and they need you here”

“Well I need you here”

I stopped talking looking at him , did he just say he needs me here?.

“Daryl you dont need me here , you have beth and carol to look after”

“Well if you leave im leavin end of story im not lettin you just walk away from me”

I fought back the smile thats spreading across my face. I looked over at him but he had already laid down on his stomach his head  turned away from me.

“Well if ya go im leavin with ya”

“Daryl you dont have to do that , you have a place here and they need you here”

“Well I need you here”

I stopped talking looking at him , did he just say he needs me here?.

“Daryl you dont need me here , you have beth and carol to look after”

“Well if you leave im leavin end of story im not lettin you just walk away from me”

I fought back the smile thats spreading across my face. I looked over at him but he had already laid down on his stomach his head  turned away from me.

I crawled over straddling his lower back I began rubbing his back and shoulders. I laid my chest to his back letting my head rest between his shoulder blades listening to him breathing. I sat up  removing his leather vest i started rubbing his back again. I ran my fingers up his shirt to rub his back I started to try to remove his shirt when he flipped over throwing me off him.

“Stop y/n ”

“Daryl I was just rubbing your back”

He turned back over , I grabbed his shirt lifting it up reveling scars and burns all over his back. My hand coverd my mouth in shock I didnt know much about his past except thay his brother is a ass and his dad was a horrible man.

He sat up pulling his shirt back down he looked at me as if I was gonna run
Away from him.

“Daryl I”

He cut me off putting his hand over my mouth.

“Dont just dont”

I pushed his hand away from my mouth grabbing his shirt pulled him to me pressing my lips to his. He grabbed my shoulders pushing me back.

“Y/n you dont have to ”

“Daryl you want me to stay , give me a reason to”

He wrapped his hands around my waist pulling me to him His lips met mine , I wrapped my hands around his neck pulling myself onto his lap. I ripped open his shirt showing his perfect chest I trailed my fingers down his chest he pulled me deeper into the kiss running his tounge along my lower lip, I open my mouth letting his tounge explore my mouth.

His fingers trailed down to my shirt knowing he was hesitating I lifted it over my head. His lips moved to my neck biting and sucking leaving a trail of small purple bruises. I moved his hands over my breast his thumbs sliding over my nipples , he kissed his way down his mouth taking in my nipple he flicked his tounge causeing me to moan grinding into him I could feel his cock through his pants.

Pulling his mouth off my breast , I brought him back up to my lips kissing him roughly, I wrapped my hands around his neck pulling him down so now he was on top of me. Using my free hand I unbutton my pants shuffling them off. His eyes flash to my panties and back up to my lips , sitting up he undid his pants leaning back over me he hooked his finger into my panties sliding them off in one swipe.

His lips went to my neck agian biting me his free hand now rubbing my pussy causing me to buck into his hand , he stuck a finger into me.

“Daryl oh god”

Biting my lower lip I could see him smiling such a devily sexy smile. He leaned over me whispering into my ear

“What do you want y/n?”

I wrapped my fingers into his hair pulling him to my face.
“Daryl I want you to fuck me now”

He smiled pulling his finger outta me. Grabbing me hips he slid into me making me gasp scratching his back.  God he was huge. When he felt that I adjusted to his size he thrusted into me he lifted one of my legs putting hit on his shoulder allowing him to go deeper. He gritted his teeth every thrust.

“Harder please daryl harder”

Grabbing my hips he slammed into me hitting my spot I screamed as he pounded into me.

“You like that?”


He fucked me hard every thrust hitting me just right. I felt myself about to cum I tightened around him he bit into my neck sending me over the edge I cam around him squirting and bucking underneath him. He pounded into me hard and faster

“Im close ”

He picked up his pace gritting his teeth I felt him cum inside me I couldn’t help my self from screaming so everyone could hear.


He rolled over to my side he began laughing.

“Whats so funny?”

“Never thought that would ever happen" 

I sat up covering myself with his vest. I kissed him once more before I noticed the sun was up. We got dressed walking down to where everyone met for food , all eyes on us no one said anything not even lori. I went and sat next to maggie who smiled winking at me daryl came over picking me up and sitting me on his lap.

Damm it he gave me a reason

anonymous asked:

You're just an annoying fangirl... pretending to like star wars will not get you laid... just stop.. i bet you don't even know all the sith lords... just stop... it's obvious you dont even like star wars... stop...

Darth Caedus
Darth Maul 
Darth Bane
Darth Plageuis
Darth Revan
Darth Sidious
Darth Tryanus
Darth Vader

There is about ¾ others I don’t know because they are the comics / novels. (which i haven’t gotten the chance to read because as a child my mother was against the idea of me liking “boy stuff” but has agreed to buy me some in a month.)

Now, I understand with your small sexist mind; someone who identifys themselves as a women must be liking so-called “boy things” to get laid, but let me just tell you that’s not the case.

Anyone can like anything, no matter their gender. 

So yes, I a girl, loves Star Wars. I don’t know everything about it, nor do I claim, but I’m gaining extensive knowledge on it BECAUSE IT MAKES ME HAPPY. 

I don’t really care if it gets me laid or not, hell, if it does that’s great.

If it doesn’t, I won’t care because Star Wars is something I love.

rubixremixedm  asked:

Hey I watched the day of the doctor a while ago and since I noticed something at the end that everyone saw and I also keep hearing it looks like him and I know him I can always pick out a face like that and since he's one of your favs I know you can too if you haven't guessed who I'm talking about its tom baker and the curator at the museum they look the same so I think they both are the 4th doctor or are my eyes failing me? -Rubix Remix

Wait a second…could it be…?



Neither did ANYONE else!

(Your eyes aren’t failing you :) That was a really obvious and cool cameo by Tom Baker, the actor who played the Fourth Doctor. So, yes, the curator would be the Fourth Doctor, or at least some speculative form of him where he subverted regeneration, probably from another universe or something.)

Honestly I’m starting to feel like Ichabbie has 1000% been the plan all along and that Tom and Nicole are both in on it and the producers were like “okay Nicole you be the naysayer cause you actually have a poker face (and also because of The Other Reasons). Tom, you and your absolute zero chill - just … try not to giggle knowingly every time Ichabbie is brought up? Seriously dude just … try to be cool.” and now they’re just like dang this worked a little too well, how are we gonna drag this out for 5 seasons now? And also why did we think it was a good idea to tell Tom this was happening? 

And like at least 40% of all the Miharie stuff is Nicole just pinching/discreetly kicking Tom or signaling him to stop being obvious, while also being all heee we know something you don’t in that way you just can’t help but be when you have a secret and someone else talks about it. 

Then again, probably not. But it amuses me to think so, and so I will. 

anonymous asked:

i let horrible boys fuck me even when i don't want it because it's the only thing that makes me feel anymore. i hate it and i feel disgusting and violated afterwards but i keep going back for more. i don't know who to tell, it doesn't make any sense

its ironic that you probably told the one person that understands this more then anyone else… 
during high school i used to be in the “popular group”… but i was fat, and it was always obvious that the girls in that group just liked having me around to make themselves feel better. from the age of 16 to just before my 18th birthday i would allow disgusting boys to use me for sex. they would never admit to having sex with me of course, because i was that easy fat girl. who wanted to admit to having sex with an easy fat girl? i was just a sex object to them. most of them i’d gain feelings for though, and i think thats why i did it, to feel that one second of desire from another person. because no one else wanted me more then just that… so i did it… to feel. even if it was just for a few moments… but what they did to me after really made it worthless. 

some bad stuff happened to be in that period of time… and i dont think i’ve spoken about it for a long time with anyone. i’m not even sure if its my fault or not, still. 

all i can say is that you don’t need them. and you will come to realize that one day. i think we all learn to love ourselves at some point. just like we fucking despise ourselves at some point in life too. but that doesn’t mean we should go around disrespecting ourselves and creating horrible memories just to feel seconds of want. 

but obviously, until you realize this yourself, my advice won’t really mean much. so i hope just knowing that i understand gives you something… <3 

anonymous asked:

Ahhh still not over the day in the life! What did you think?? I can't believe how adorable they were. First the breakfast thing and then dan thinking phil bought the cookbook for them to keep..I died. They pretty much do everything together as we already assumed but oh my god it was the sweetest thing to see <3

Where to begin. This may be one of my most favorite videos of them of all time. Seriously. I could not have asked for anything better…Dan & Phil unscripted and unafraid to be themselves. It felt so genuine and incredibly relaxed/candid and I was so so pleasantly surprised. When I had the hunch that it was a DITL I kind of made a mental note not to get too excited because although I adore the previous two DITLs I never felt they were 100% authentic. Like of course I loved them but there were always little things that felt too planned out (like the bedroom thing and pretending to wake Dan up & also making such a big deal out of trying to show us they had other friends lol). So I kind of mentally prepared myself that those things would likely come with the territory and that it may not be as charming and endearing as the little lessamazingphil type candid vlogs. Which, by the way, is when I feel their true personalities shine the most.

I am so glad to say that I judged incorrectly, because this DITL was anything but insincere. I already knew it was off to a good start from the moment they didn’t show Phil “waking up” Dan lol because that part always made me cringe with how scripted it seemed. Anyways, as I kept watching I couldn’t believe how comfortable and completely relaxed they were. I have never seen them act so unabashedly forward with their closeness on camera before. Not once did they try to downplay how much time they spend together or make justifications for what they were doing and why. It came off as a resounding “yes, we actually are glued at the hip” but they didn’t feel the need to explain themselves. It just was how it was and there was no desire to prove anything. And I loved it.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

/If everything is about them they’d have been the main relationship throughout the show and would be written as a good one, not toxic and problematic. / I don't know what's more pathetic. The fact that you don't realize how problematic SE was or the fact that you think "good" = "important" when it comes to a tv show. The fact that the writers don't spend any time or attention on SE's issues is because they don't matter. Nobody cares. LOL SE was never anything but contrast/background for DE.

When did I say good = important?? They’re not going to base a whole TV show on a bad relationship like DE, are they? What would be the point in that? It’s funny that you mention contrast because that’s been made clear over the seasons and every time SE and DE are compared or paralleled, SE comes out on top. Still. Every. Time. No one cares about SE and they meant nothing but background to DE, bla bla bla. Why don’t you take a look at the ratings and the amount of people who have stopped watching because DE is boring and ruining the show. The only thing that’s pathetic here is you, who apparently thinks SE is unimportant and irrelevant to the show, bothering me and other people who ship SE with the same delusional bs all the time. I’m so certain about SE that I never feel any need to go argue/put down any other shippers. I don’t go in the anti tag or actually care what anyone else thinks because it makes no difference to what I know is inevitably going to happen in the show. You are so transparent, anon. You act like you’re confident in your ship and we’re all stupid, but your insecurity is very obvious, or you wouldn’t be here.