like it was worth it sry


lol at the title i’m so sorry but like i couldn’t resist LOL sry if this is a giant vacuole of shit, but like the lil idea popped into my head, and so instead of requesting it from someone else, I thought i’d give a go at writing. But as you all probs know… i’m a double science major so i can’t write worth shat… lawls. anyways, idk why i can’t do anything without rambling. Enjoy this. It gave me a good chuckle.

word count: idk… a lot? 

You wake up early this morning from the urgent sense to throw up. You try to be as discreet and quiet as possible so you don’t wake your snoozing husband, Shawn, who is laying in the bed next to you, but your old New York City apartment squeaks if you breathe the wrong way.

You ditch any effort of silence, though, when you feel the puke coming on, and within a matter of seconds you are hunched over the toilet bowl. As you are hurling your guts out, you feel a warm hand settle on your back and another move the baby hairs out of your face that have fallen out of your sleepy bun. 

When you can’t puke anymore, you sit there almost draped over the toilet with your forehead resting on the seat. You never get sick like this. You haven’t puked since your freshman year of Uni, and that was only the result of an excessive amount of alcohol consumed during that infamous Delta Sig Frat party. 

“Baby, are you okay? You don’t feel fevered or anything. Do you think you have food poisoning?” Shawn asks you after a few minutes when he decides you’re probably not going to throw up anymore. 

“I don’t know, we didn’t eat anything weird for dinner last night. I don’t know what it could be.” You reply back, looking at the concern in his honey brown eyes. You get up off the floor and move to the sink to brush your teeth to try and get the horrible after taste out of your mouth.

In the middle of rinsing out your mouth, you start counting on your fingers after a thought pops into your head. 

You’re late. 

You drop the toothbrush in its holder and run to your closet trying to find some yoga pants and a t shirt to throw on.

“Babe, what… where are you going?” Shawn asks, following you back into the bedroom. 

“I’m late” is all you say over and over again. You can’t find a t shirt of your own, so you hop over the bed to Shawn’s closet. You grab your favorite t shirt of his– the grey one with the Hogwarts crest on it– and his maroon hoodie that he swears you wear more than he does, and throw them on over some yoga pants, putting on your adidas sneakers right after. 

“Hon, late for what? It’s Saturday.” He says, coming up to you and placing both of his hands on your shoulders to stop you from racing around the room like a maniac. 

You stop moving at his touch and look right into his eyes, “I’m late, Shawn. I’m two weeks late.”

His eyes widen with surprise and his lips form an “O”. 

“So..are you…does this mean…” He stutters, trying to form a coherent thought, but the idea of being a dad swirling around in his head is keeping him from being able to process.

“I don’t know… maybe? I gotta… i gotta go to the drugstore. Get a pregnancy test or something, right?” 

You’re just as baffled as him. You’re both at the peak of your careers right now,  so you never chanced unprotected sex. You’re about to graduate medical school and he is just three months away from releasing his fifth album.The thought of being parents was always super exciting and something the both of you wanted to do, but it always seemed so far into the future. You couldn’t possibly be pregnant now.

You return from the store about an hour later with 6 pregnancy tests (”I didn’t know what kind to get or what brand to get or what would be the most accurate or really anything about pregnancy tests or pregnancy in general because i’m only 24!”) and run into the bathroom so that you can take them. You pick the first one out of the bag and rip it open. As you’re peeing on the little stick, all you can think is “Please God, don’t let it be positive. Don’t let it be positive.”

Shawn keeps knocking on the door trying to get you to let him in, but you can’t. You can’t have him in here if you find out that you’re about to stall his career with a baby. 

The timer on your phone rings signaling that the test is done, but you don’t even flinch. Shawn hears the sound through the door and starts knocking again. 

“Y/n, please, I need to be in there with you. This isn’t just you. I’m the… I’m the dad.” He says softly through the door. You take a deep breath in and out. He’s right. This is happening to the both of you, not just to you. You decide to let him in before  you look at the results. 

At your first little jiggle of the handle to unlock the door, Shawn practically knocks it down trying to get in as fast as possible. He sees the little white stick sitting on the counter face down and instantly freezes. 

“Have you looked at it yet?” He asks, not breaking his fixed stare at the test. 

“I can’t. You have to. I can’t.” He looks at you with nervous eyes and walks over to the test, picking it up and flipping it over to look at the results.

You stare at his face anxiously awaiting to read his expression for signs of relief or regret, but his face stays expressionless.

“Y/N,” He starts, looking right at you.

“Yeah…” You reply nervously, eyes fixed on the test in his hands.

“I don’t know how to read one of these things.” He says, and a smile forms on his lips. You let out a shorty chuckle and smack your palm to your forehead. 

“Damn, way to ruin a dramatic moment, babe” You say, but on the inside you’re glad that he found a way to lighten the mood. This is one of the many reasons why you’re absolutely certain that you married the right guy.  The nerves evaporate from your body, and you start to get a little excited at the thought of having a baby with Shawn. 

With this new feeling of reassurance, you take the stick from out of his hands and flip it over, knowing that if you drag out the process of discovering if you’re about to become a mom any longer you will actually explode. 

You read the results on the stick and let out a breath that you didn’t realize you had been holding in and your stomach drops. 

“So, does this mean I get to call you ‘Daddy’ now?” You say with a smile forming on your face. 

Shawn’s eyes widen and he lets out a huge laugh before pulling you into a big hug. You wrap your arms around his neck and you feel yourself lifted of the ground. He spins you around before setting you back gently on the ground once he remembers that there’s now a baby in your tummy. His baby

He drops down to his knees and presses his ear to your stomach as if he could actually hear the baby inside of you. Then, you start to hear a barely audible whisper saying “Hi, baby, I’m your dad. Me and your mom love you. We’re gonna love you and hold you and protect you forever. I can’t believe I’m actually your dad.”

You feel a few tears spill over down your cheeks, and one drops onto one of Shawn’s hands. He looks up at you with the biggest smile on his face that you have ever seen. He stands back up slowly and gently grabs your face. He leans in and kisses away the few tears on your cheeks, then your forehead, and down to the tip of your nose, finally pressing his soft lips agains yours. 

“You’re going to be the best dad.” You say once you break apart from him. 

“I love you so much.” He tells you, looking deep into your eyes before pulling you back in for another kiss. 


I’m so emo rn and I do not say it often since I’m trying to be patient and I like the way knk are developing but like c’mon guys they’re the sweetest bunch of people with skills that are worth paying attention to and they’re a real fam that every tinkerbell is so soft for. they’re like you childhood friends you came to school with and this is one of the most lovely things in the world.

I love knk so much and sometimes I do wish people would stop ignoring these weird kids. 

I can’t sleep ‘cause she’s kissing your bloodstained lips and it’s not perfect. she holds you far from her heart, she doesn’t care if your lungs forget they no longer need air to survive, she doesn’t care that I need you to survive.

I can’t sleep because she kisses like a spring rain when you’re in love with the clash of lightning, the roll of thunder.

I wonder if she knows-

she’s loving you wrong, baby.

—  (was she worth it) // saphael

anonymous asked:

so does anyone else feel like 'whats the use of feeling, blue?' was the weakest song in the show? like i like 'giant woman' more than it. i keep seeing people praise it, but the music seemed rushed and the lyrics were sung ...oddly?

i interrupted mi listenin of the kipling theme from th.e d.own (go watch th.e d.own) to listen to this song and it wasn’t worth it man. the vocals seem too pitchy (??? is that the word???), you couldn’t really hear blue pearl at all (im sry that’s always bugged me), and you can barely hear the music as the song progresses. the beginning sounded menacing and mechanical, i really loved that!! but it goes away for i don’t even know what to call it. this song is like lowkey catchy and the first diamond song but that’s all that there is to it

Variations on a Korean Folk Song (main theme)
top: E flat clarinet/flute, clarinet 1, 2, 3
bottom: horn 1, 4, baritone/tenor sax, bass clarinet

this one took a while (three+ hours) but ended up being hella worth it! intonation was really difficult because of the octaves and unisons across the different parts, time was strange because this isn’t something you can play to a metronome so i started with a video of me conducting in the bass clarinet spot, then at the very end recorded over the conducting video with the bass clarinet part
this was really fun i’m hoping to do more symphonic works or excerpts like this in the future

anonymous asked:

Wrt your post about kravitz: yes shame we haven't seen him but also during the suffering game arc there was supposed to then be a huge thing with rescuing him (I think griffin said 3 eps worth or smth) that got tossed out due to the boys doing what they did whoops. (Not trying to be rude just like... hey btw idk if u know this or not sry if comes off rude or mean)

yeah i knew that and i know ur not being rude! but….that post was more shorthand for the way griffin consistently sidelines his lgbt characters and places inordinate emphasis on his straight ones while simultaneously patting himself on the back for acknowledging gay peoples existence at all and im getting tired of it bc part of why taz got popular in the first place was taako being gay so im sick of killian and carey becoming window dressing and hurleysloane remaining this vague nonexplicit thing after they literally died

i still like taz! but im just annoyed rn

why yoonmin works (otp/brotp)

i just spent an hour lying in bed pondering about yoonmin, as one does

bc whereas jikook is fairly easy to grasp, yoonmin has one of those relationships that seems so unlikely on paper but actually works so well in real life and it just stirs my curiosity. you’d think someone who’s as private with his emotions + as blunt as yoongi wouldn’t mix with someone who’s quick-tempered/sensitive like jimin YET somehow they do??

(instead of finishing jikook BL analysis pt.2 i wrote an essay about yoonmin… im sry;;; this is mostly for myself, i wanted to organize my thoughts)

read at your discretion: 

Keep reading

writing by school shooter bobby gladden


locked inside this cage, my mind is filled with rage, dont care if i live or die, to me its all the same, trapped inside the darkness, that ive known all of my life, the only thing i can count on, to be forever by my side, because in the end youll realize, that im not worth your time, surrounded by emptiness, capable of nothing, so i slit my wrists just to remind myself what its like to feel something, i just want to feel, anything at all, so i cover the floor in shards of glass, i begin to crawl… 

[photo credit]

Request - Can you Do an imagine Story about Alec. Y/n is a New shadowhunter in the Institute and the Tutore of Max. Max likes her and wants that alec falls for her and planed a date night for them or something like that. Sry my english isn’t the Best.

Ps Reposting due to blog switch :)

The journey from Idris had been long, but you had finally arrived at the New York institue. The option had been there to portal ofcourse, but that was something you avoided at all costs. The quesy feeling it left you with wasn’t worth the time saved. You’d arrived at the request of Maryse Lightwood, she ran the institue, and asked for you personally to tutor her youngest son, Max. He needed some tuition when it came to his runes. After a mix up while staying at the Mumbai institue, the young shadowhunter had gotten confused between a heat rune and a nourishment rune. Landing himself in some hot water indeed. But you were confident that with a little help and a few nudges in the right direction, you’d have him on top form in no time. He’d be able to indentify and draw them all by the time you were ready to pack your bag and head back home to Idris.

You were unpacking your bag, placing the items of clothing you’d brought with you into the empty chest of drawers provided in the guest room when the door to your bedroom was thrown open, a young child running quickly into the quiet room, his face full of excitement. “Are you Y/n?” he asked breathlessly, climbing up onto the tall bed, making himself comfortable.

“I am. You must be Max?” you nodded in approval as he removed his shoes, catching you glancing at his feet.

“When are we starting lessons?” he queried, full of enthusiasm. Which was a rare quality in any of your students.

“Max.” Maryse Lightwood walked into the room, casting a stern glance at her youngest son that had him quickly picking up his disgarded shoes and exiting from the room as swiftly as he had entered it. “You must excuse my son.” she smiled at you tightly “I’m glad you could join us, y/n, please make yourself comfortable, i’m sure the journey was a long one.”

“Thank you.” you smiled back at her, she left then, closing the door quietly behind her.

oOo Two Weeks Later oOo

Max had proven to be quite the little brain box, he picked up information easily. That was when he was concentrating on what he was doing. His attention span was short, but then again so was most 9 year olds. It came with the territory. You couldnt stay mad at him too long, he could get away with murder that one all he’d have to do is flash a cheeky grin and like most you just melted.

Maryse and Robert Lightwood had gone back to Idris, leaving their children at the institue, usually Max would have gone with them but since you were here, Maryse thought it would be more productive for him to stay behind and study. Max was the youngest of three, Alec was the oldest with Izzy following shortly behind. In many ways Izzy and Max were polar opposites to their older brother, you hadn’t spent that much time with anyone but Max but you could tell in the ways that those two were laidback, Alec was much more serious. But then, he was set to take over the institute from his parents one day, he had responsibilty and expectations on his shoulders that the other two didnt.

When max had offered you a tour of the institue after studying on your second day here, you had accepted gratefully. He had shown you the important stuff, the kitchen, the library and his room. You didnt really need to know how to find anything else, but he still brought you down to the training room. Alec was there, hammering his hands against a punching back, wearing nothing more than sweatpants. You were embarrassed to admit the minute or two it took you to pay attention, Max releasing your hand and running upto his older brother with a childlike squel was enough to reign your wandering thoughts back to the task at hand. Concealing a growing pink tinge that you could feel rising up your cheeks. He either didnt notice, or he was nice enough not to mention it. Max told his brother about what he had learned so far and Alec asked a few questions about your life back in Idris. That was the only real conversation you’d had with Alec, he was polite in passing, nodding at you if you passed him in the hallway but that was the extent of your interaction.

Thats why the current situation was so odd.

Max had asked you if instead of eating in your room tonight, as you had been doing, that you’d come and eat with him and his siblings. You’d agreed of course, it would have been rude not too, and you couldnt refuse that cute face when he smiled up at you so sweetly. But Max and Izzy werent in the room for very long, you could tell from the glances Max was casting to his sister that they were upto something, from the look Alec was giving them both, he too was suspicious. After barely even looking at their plates for more than a minute they both excused themselves. Leaving you there alone, with Alec. The silence was suffocating, but thankfully it didnt take him long to break it.

“Has Max been behaving?” he asked without looking up from his plate, piercing another shell of pasta onto his fork.

“You could say that.” you answered back, not looking to get your young student into any trouble with his older brother. The smile that crossed Alec’s usually blank features was one that was infectious, it only seemed to appear when Max was around or mentioned. The conversation continued on, Alec asking questions about Max and how you were finding New York so far. His line of questioning was soon cut short when he sighed and turned to face the door.

“Max, i know you’re there.” he said loudly, your attention was pulled towards the door as it slowly opened and Max stood there looking caught out. “Was Izzy in on this with you?” he asked as max walked upto the table and stood beside Alec. You watched the exchange with a frown, not following the conversation anymore.

“Maybe.” Max answered with a small shrug.

“It wasn’t very well planned.” Alec stood up from the table and took his now empty plate over to one of the countertops, placing it down genlty before turning the tap on to fill the sink.

“It was!” Max argued “It worked didnt it, you were talking!”

“What?” you asked, you could feel the confused look set in.

“This..” Alec moved his hand between the both of you “was a set up.”

“It was?” you turned to look at Max, trying your best to keep your expression firm, with one eyebrow raised.

“Well” Max sighed and walked around to you, almost looking apologetic. “Alec wouldnt ask you out on a proper date, he’s shy.”

“Your brother doesnt want to ask me out on a date Max.” the blsuh was back again, and the only thing you wanted to do was retreat back to the comfort of your room.

“He does.” Max nodded “he said you were pretty.”

“Oh god Max, stop talking!” Alec shook his head at the younger Lightwood before telling him to go to his room and get ready for bed. You sat at the table for a few minutes, watching Alec quickly wash up the few dishes that were used. It had gone all quiet again, and you decided to leave before it got anymore awkward. You’d just reached the door when Alec suddenly wrapped his hand tightly around your wrist, holding you back for a moment before letting go. “About that date…” he trailed off, running a hand through his dark hair, obviously uncomfortable.

“Sure” you smiled up at him before continuing to head back towards your bedroom, that smile didnt move the rest of the night.

ok so i have another hal jordan-related hc and this one is a bit personal and might be projecting on my part so feel free to disregard this completely but i hc hal to have ADHD (the impulsive type)

“but using willpower requires a lot of focus!!! same with flying!!!” true true but the thing is?? when hal gives a shit, he has enough willpower to actually keep his mind on the task. but what is even more important is that both of those activities come to hal NATURALLY, he has automatized ringslinging and flying, you can esp see that when it comes to using ring – his constructs are instinctual, he never puts much thought into what hes about to create, whatever is on his mind works (he thinks ‘i need to punch that guy’ he creates boxing gloves etc). its all natural to him so he doesnt actually need to concentrate, it happens to him bc flying/using ring is just?? his second nature

now when it comes to just normal life… he can’t handle reading long texts, always claims that its just “boring” but its not, he just cant focus for long enough, his eyes skip around and he gives up easily. he doesnt like watching movies (unless theyre about a subject that fascinates him, then focusing gets easier – FOR EXAMPLE: TOP GUN). internet and mobile apps are a huge blessing for him, twitter is his favorite form of social media

he just says things without thinking them over, which makes others perceive him as brash and kind of a dick, when in reality, hal just doesn’t have that much of a restraint, he doesn’t pay attention to the words that are coming out of his mouth, he often says things only to say them, it’s like he has to be talking (which annoys his Brooding Superhero Pals)

justice league meetings are usually a torture to him, which is why he spends most of them playing on phone

the often “huh–? sry i wasnt listening” are mistaken for another sign of his arrogance AND YEAH HES ARROGANT but he doesnt listen to people because he thinks they arent worth listening to, he just tunes out of conversations a lot, sometimes he just sits there while batman is monologuing or something, words just become a weird mess in his ears and WELL, nobody can tell hes looking down to check his twitter if hes wearing that green mask

honestly hal having adhd explains a LOT of his actions… and i also think he was diagnosed with it as a kid, just when adhd was becoming a Thing in the child psychology. and his mom would use it as an argument as to why hal cant go to air force (”you can’t be a pilot with adhd!!”), which made hal REALLY UPSET FOR A WHILE THERE… but then his resolute 11 yrs old self decided to screw this and become pilot anyways… bc he has that much WILL


Flowerkawa is finally done //sweats 
Thanks again for inspiring me and letting me draw him in this design, I really appreciate it, Mandy <3

[[photo, photo, scan (which sucks lmao)]]

Actually there wasn’t too much to be done after the last WIPs? LMAO
And I kinda felt bad for taking so long to add the last bits to call it finished and then I said to myself “I gotta pimp it and make it worth the wait!! ` v ´)9″
Sooo I went ahead and made a mess of my desk with leaf metal again ehehehe
But I think it’s really fitting ´ 7 `

anonymous asked:

sry to ask but how do i get better at drawing? i feel like i never get to that point where i feel good about my art

Well, i cant speak for others…

But in my case, I stop depending my good feeling on other people’s reaction. I try to appease myself- because I’m the biggest critic of myself. Other people’s needs and wants are fickle as hell, so depending your self worth on other people’s approval without any real merit is only going to bring pain to our sensitive, artists hearts… (lol)

But it gotta be REAL tho, not like ‘oh i hate my art because it’s not good enough for me (goes deeper: because I don’t get enough recognition(1))cause this only gonna bring you latent pain.

Art for me is my tool for self expression. I used to be the kind of person who was TERRIFIED of people, I draw so I can feel better or feel like i could have some semblance of communication, and these were in my teen years.

As i grew up, I shifted my priorities: art is so I can pass my classes and get enough grades to graduate, art is so I make some money to live independently alone. So the approval is not from other people, but FROM THE CA$H i’m getting. So, it’s a hard, cold, actual tangible exchange of interest, y’know? Not just recognition and approval from fickle sources. 

Now I have other jobs (not drawing) so I just draw for fun, and if people enjoy it, great. If not, that’s fine. It’s what makes me happy, if other people are happy about it to, that’s awesome and that’s what matters. I’m sure there are people who dislike what I do or feel indifferent, but hey, it’s a free world. we all do whatever we want.

disclaimer: this is me- I know there’s millions other ways to approach this but this is how i operate. All I know, depending your self-worth on other people (in terms of recognition and approval etc) is not gonna help you much in getting better. You gotta be your own friend first and foremost- have some value on yourself… on what you wanna do, on what you wanna express, then you definitely can grow from there. 

edit: If you said “oh I’ve done all these, why still people don’t like my art more?” then go back to point (1) up there ;9 )