like i don't know where i got that from

It's okay to be a man who...
  • Is emotionally sensitive
  • Is honest about having feelings
  • Is open about having flaws
  • Likes cute and pretty things
  • Likes dressing in cute and pretty things
  • Is delicate
  • Is elegant
  • Is unsure whether it’s okay to be those things
  • Dances and sings with enthusiasm and heart
  • Empathizes with the feelings and experiences of others
  • Admits being wrong
  • Cries

And it’s understandable that you’re afraid to show all of that to a world that seems determined to erase it from you.

No matter what they say, you are who you are.

Shit the Foxes said on talk shows
  • Neil: So Kevin comes in at like 1 in the morning, brand new tattoo on his face, and he's drunk as hell but he's making this surprisingly coherent speech about being the deadliest piece of the board, and I'm just sitting there not saying a word because I don't know a thing about chess.
  • Dan: There's a video on my computer containing cuts from every single time Andrew sent a ball flying into someone's head set to the Donky Kong theme song. It's two and a half hours.
  • Allison: Neil has this thing where bad things happening to him are like a matter of fact. Once, he and I met up for lunch, and when the bill came he asked if he could pay me back later because he got mugged on the way over. As it turns out, what I mistook for Neil being a picky eater was actually Neil trying to eat without upsetting a shallow stab wound.
  • Renee: I don't drink alcohol because you can't account for what you'll do when you're drunk. Though sometimes that turns out fun. About a year ago we found out that Matt knows how to sing Sweden's national anthem backwards by heart, and that was hilarious. But on the other hand I've had Allison and Nicky competing on who can break a glass with their voice at three in the morning, so.
  • Matt: Kevin is definitely seems like everything in his life is about Exy, but get to know him and you realize that he has plenty of interests, it's just that he has no concept of doing things in moderation. So it's less a stick up his butt and more like, I don't know, a pool noodle or something.
  • Aaron: Neil doesn't have a concept of money, a fact which on any given day swings between hilarious and flat out tragic. He refused to pay $15.90 for new pants but said he'd pay for my med school if I stopped making fun of his new haircut. To be clear, both of these things happened in the same conversation.
  • Nicky: I love God, I do. He's always in my heart. But I guess God has abandonment issues because every time I see a commercial for a McFlurry I can just feel him testing me.
  • Andrew: The thing about the Foxes is that the stress level on any given day can fluctuate so wildly you get whiplash. One day you're getting yelled at for not blocking a shot, the next you're getting yelled at for "obstruction of justice" or whatever it is the Feds call it when you remind them that they can't come in without a search warrant. Why Wymack does this willingly is beyond me.
  • Kevin: On the one hand, the Foxes are much less organized, not to mention a smaller team. Every game, we're at an almost immediate disadvantage. On the other hand, Ravens are contractually forbidden from Irish coffee. So overall the decision isn't hard.
How BTS flirts:

Namjoon: “Hey, baby. You’ve got one hell of a personality, wanna go get dinner some time?”

Seokjin: “I’m hot, you are hot; let’s go cool off together ;)”

Yoongi: “Flirting? Nahhh”

Hoseok: “HEY DO YOU WANNA HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WHERE WE CAN HUG AND KISS AND HOLD HANDS?? Shit, too forward…”

Jimin: *gets all flustered and blushy*

Taehyung: “You know, you look like a fictional character I like”

Jungkook: *watches from a distance and groans in angst*

Oh, the things I can’t say to you because I’m your superior…
—  Ravenclaw, barely holding back from reaming a coworker.
Not Ready

Marinette is pregnant.  It was an accident, a late night at a club where she got drunk and went home with someone, but it’s still there.  She’s pregnant.  At least according to the seventeen pregnancy tests she took.  Alya’s away, and Hawkmoth seems to be on vacation, so she’s not able to talk to anyone until after she’s been to the doctor to confirm it.

She’s pregnant.

So she goes to patrol that night, the first patrol with Chat since she took the tests, and cries on him for a while.  She’s not getting an abortion–she’s pro-choice, but can’t do it herself–and she still has to talk to the father.

But Chat’s there.  He comforts her, says he’ll be there for her whether the father is or not.  He lets her cry on his shoulder for hours, and patrol never actually gets done.  They decide to meet up tomorrow night, even though it’s not a patrol night, so they can talk after Marinette talks to the father.

Which doesn’t go well.  Actually, that’s an understatement.  The father is furious at her for being pregnant, wants her to get an abortion, and wants nothing to do with the baby if she has it.

So Marinette leaves in tears, and skips her classes that afternoon and goes immediately to their patrol spot to just sit and cry for hours, waiting for Chat.

Chat left an hour early for patrol, barely having allowed himself to wait that long, and finds Ladybug already on the roof.  She tells him about how it went with the father and starts crying all over again.

“I’ll be it’s father.”

“What?”

“A baby needs a father.  Mine was never around, and I know that’s messed me up.  So I can be this baby’s father.  I mean, if you want.”

“I…I’d like that.”

So they sit there for hours until Ladybug’s tears subside, holding onto each other.  When they decide it’s time to leave, Ladybug suggests they reveal their identities because “I am not going to the doctor as Ladybug, and I am not having Chat Noir take me there.”

So they reveal themselves, and are freaking happy that they are Adrien and Marinette, because that makes introducing themselves to their friends much easier.

The next morning, Adrien is sleep deprived and freaking out because he spent all night on the internet looking up everything about babies and pregnancy and “should I propose, Plagg?  Do you think she’ll expect me to?  What do babies eat?  Oh god, what if there’s more than one baby?”

(he’s also spent an insane amount of money on baby clothes and stuffed animals)

So when Nino calls to ask why he’s late for lunch, you really can’t blame him for blurting out:

“I’m not ready to be a father!”

“…what?”

“I’m not ready, Nino!  What if I’m as terrible a father as mine?  What if I kill it?  What if it hates me?  What if–”

“Adrien?”

“What?”

“A father?”

“Yes!  I’m not ready!”

“…who did you get pregnant?”

(you also can’t blame him for hanging up and not going to lunch after all because Marinette didn’t want to tell anyone yet and he almost blew it with the first person he talked to)

They tell their friends a few weeks later, saying that Adrien and Marinette got drunk and hooked up one night, and no they’re not together but they’re both going to be in this baby’s life.

Alya and Nino are thrilled and decide that they are going to be godparents and Alya announces it on the Ladyblog (Marinette and Adrien laugh later about how relevant a post that really was).

The pregnancy goes well.  Adrien does not, in fact, propose, though he does discuss it with Marinette, who decides that maybe in the future, but only if they actually have a relationship together.  They get an apartment together, and Marinette has to hide Adrien’s credit cards because he’s a stress shopper and “we really don’t need six cribs.  You need to send some of them back.”

Ladybug disappears around sometime around the third month, Chat Noir fighting akumas on his own and bringing her the butterflies after for purification.  Chat Noir assures the public that Ladybug is safe and sound, and that she’s only disappeared because there will be a new little bug in a few months, and, no, he will not comment on whether or not this bug is also a kitten.

(Alya freaks out because “Marinette, your baby will be the same age as Ladybugs!  They’ll go to school together!”)

Adrien freaks out at every ultrasound, crying and squeezing Marinette’s hand.  He buys her whatever food she’s craving, and sometimes Chat Noir will be found begging at the door of a closing shop because “Ladybug needs pickles and chocolate fudge can you please stay open just another minute?” and because these stores will usually let Chat Noir in but not Adrien.

(Chat Noir also can’t go more than half a block without people giving him baby supplies.  Sometimes he has to refuse because “Ladybug would not be happy if I came home with a seventh crib.”)

(This leads to the rumours that Ladybug and Chat Noir are having sextuplets, which Marinette finds hilarious.)

(Adrien is just relieved that these rumours aren’t true because one baby is stressful enough and it hasn’t even come yet.)

It’s around five months when Chat Noir almost dies in an akuma attack.  Marinette watches on TV and begs Tikki to let her transform to help, but it would be too dangerous for the baby, so all she can do is watch and cry.  Chat stumbles in the window a while later, barely conscious and bleeding all over the floor.  Ladybug cleanses the akuma and it heals Chat, and they both release their transformations as Marinette throws herself at him, crying.

“I almost lost you.  You have to be more careful, Chat.  I can’t lose you.”

Neither of them notice, at first, that she kisses him.  It seems natural.  He almost died.  She was upset.  So of course she’d kiss him.

Of course, they do notice, and both make things awkward for a few hours before they decide that maybe they should try this for real.

The baby comes a few days early, and Adrien was at a shoot on the other side of Paris when he got the call from Nino.  It would take hours to get there, hours he doesn’t have because Marinette is in labour and he isn’t there and he is seriously stressing out.

So he ducks into an alley and transforms and races across the rooftops.

When he reaches the hospital, the nurses and patients in the waiting give him weird looks but he ignores them because he has to find Marinette.

He barges into Marinette’s room with a “Marinette!  I’m here!” and doesn’t know why everyone turns to stare.

Mr. and Mrs. Dupain-Cheng glance between their daughter and the man who barged in, squinting and trying to put the pieces together.

The nurse who had been checking on a machine drops her clipboard.

Nino narrows his eyes and closes the book he had been trying to distract himself with, rising in a defensive stance.

Alya takes a picture.

And Marinette?  Marinette bursts into hysterical laughter.

“You’re an idiot.”

“What?  I got here as fast as I could.  The shoot was on the other side of town.  I–”

“Adrien.  You’re in costume.”

He looks down at himself and groans because he knew he forgot something when he jumped off the roof.  He releases the transformation and goes to the bed, deciding to pretend like it never happened and asking Marinette how she’s doing.

“That means you’re Ladybug,” Alya says, not going along with Adrien’s plan to ignore his mistake.  “Right?  Because Chat Noir hasn’t said that Ladybug’s baby is his, but he also hasn’t been subtle about the baby being his.”

“Can we talk about this later?” Marinette groans out as a contraction hits.  “Preferably when I don’t have a baby trying to rip its way out of me.”

“Fine,” Alya agrees.  “As long as I get an exclusive about Chat Noir and Ladybug’s baby.”

Hugo Michel Dupain-Cheng-Agreste came into the world a few hours later, by which point all of Paris knew Ladybug and Chat Noir’s identities (becuase Chat Noir running through a hospital screaming for Marinette Dupain-Cheng was not very subtle, and it was common knowledge that Marinette was having a baby with supermodel Adrien Agreste, so Chat Noir’s own identity wasn’t a stretch) and the section of the hospital has to be cornered off to keep out the cameras and the fans.

Gabriel Agreste comes to see them later in the day, to visit his grandson.  He takes his son aside before he leaves, apologizing for being such a horrible father.

“I’ll be better to him, if you’ll let me be in his life.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

But Gabriel doesn’t answer, instead handing a small brown box to his son.

“I am so sorry.  I can’t do this anymore, not when it means hurting my family.  I hope you can forgive me, and that you’ll listen to my explanation one day, but I understand if you won’t.  You don’t have to worry about this anymore.”

And with that, Gabriel was gone, leaving Adrien alone and confused in the hallway of the hospital.  He looked down at the box again, it was so familiar but he couldn’t figure out why.  Slowly, he opened it.  Inside sat a purple butterfly broach.

It’s a few months later before Ladybug and Chat Noir make an appearance again, chasing each other across the rooftops and laughing, stopping in alcoves to kiss.

The papers the next morning feature this:  Ladybug with her arms around Chat’s neck, beaming as he kisses her cheek.  A green sling around Chat’s body, one of his arms holding it to his chest, the other around Ladybug’s waist.  And a baby, tucked in the sling, a little head with cat ears sticking out.

All of Paris turned up a year later to the long awaited wedding between Adrien Agreste and Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

REMINDER THAT THIS IS A FIC NOW

÷ Sentence Starters
  • "I was born inside a small town."
  • "Friends and family filled with envy when they should be filled with pride."
  • "And when the world's against me, is when I really come alive."
  • "I need to get in the right mind and clear myself up."
  • "I look in the mirror, questioning what I've become."
  • "I'm well aware of certain things that can destroy a man like me."
  • "I am happy on my own so here I'll stay."
  • "I used to think that nothing could be better than touring the world with my songs."
  • "I chased the picture perfect life, I think they painted it wrong."
  • "I think that money is the route of all evil, and fame is hell."
  • "Ain't nobody want to see you down in the dumps."
  • "You're living your dream and this should be fun."
  • "I beg you don't be disappointed with the man I've become."
  • "I guess you know I've been away."
  • "Where I'm heading, who knows?"
  • "My heart will stay the same."
  • "I was younger then."
  • "I found my heart and broke it here."
  • "I can't wait to go home."
  • "I miss the way you make me feel."
  • "We watched the sunset over the castle on the hill."
  • "Had my first kiss on a Friday night... I don't reckon I did it right."
  • "Maybe I came on too strong."
  • "Maybe I waited too long."
  • "Maybe I played my cards wrong."
  • "Baby I apologise for it."
  • "I've been known to give my all."
  • "Don't call me baby unless you mean it."
  • "Don't tell me you need me if you don't believe it."
  • "So let me know the truth before I dive right into you."
  • "You're a mystery."
  • "I have traveled the world and there's no other girl like you."
  • "What's your history?"
  • "Do you have a tendency to lead some people on? 'Cause I heard you do."
  • "The club isn't the best place to find a lover."
  • "Girl, you know I want your love."
  • "Your love was handmade for somebody like me."
  • "I may be crazy, don't mind me."
  • "Boy, let's not talk too much, grab on my waist and put that body on me."
  • "I'm in love with the shape of you."
  • "We push and pull like a magnet do."
  • "I'm in love with your body."
  • "Now my bedsheets smell like you."
  • "Although my heart is falling, too, I'm in love with your body."
  • "I never knew you were the someone waiting for me."
  • "We were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was."
  • "I will not give you up this time."
  • "Darling, just kiss me slow."
  • "Darling, you look perfect tonight."
  • "Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know."
  • "She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home."
  • "We are still kids, but we're so in love."
  • "I know we'll be alright this time."
  • "Be my girl, I'll be your man."
  • "I see my future in your eyes."
  • "I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight."
  • "I know I have met an angel in person."
  • "You look perfect tonight."
  • "Baby, I just want to dance."
  • "She shared a cigarette with me while her brother played the guitar."
  • "You know she beat me at darts and then she beat me at pool."
  • "She kissed me like there was nobody else in the room."
  • "I was holding her hand, her hand was holding mine."
  • "I swear I'm going to put you in a song that I write."
  • "You look happier."
  • "I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours."
  • "Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you, but ain't nobody love you like I do."
  • "Promise that I will not take it personal if you're moving on with someone new."
  • "You look happier, you do, my friends told me one day I'll feel it, too."
  • "I'll smile to hide the truth, but I know I was happier with you."
  • "Everything's reminding me of you."
  • "You're happier, aren't you?"
  • "I know that there's others that deserve you, but my darling, I am still in love with you."
  • "I know I was happier with you."
  • "I knew one day you'd fall for someone new."
  • "If he breaks your heart like lovers do, just know that I'll be waiting here for you."
  • "Tribal tattoos and he don't know what it means."
  • "But I heard he makes you happy so that's fine by me."
  • "I'm just keeping it real."
  • "I'll be trying not to double tap, from way back, cause I know that's where the trouble's at."
  • "Let me remind you of the days when you used to hold my hand and when we sipped champagne."
  • "I guess if you were Lois Lane, I wasn't superman, just a young boy trying to be loved."
  • "If it was meant to be, you wouldn't be calling me up trying to fuck."
  • "I'm positive that he don't wanna know about me."
  • "I know you're missing all this kind of love."
  • "In the back of the club kissing a boy that ain't him."
  • "You're still a young girl trying to be loved."
  • "When you're with him I know you're lonely."
  • "Please, remember you're still free, to make the choice and leave."
  • "She is the sweetest thing that I know."
  • "You should see the way she holds me when the lights go low."
  • "Oh we're in love, aren't we?"
  • "I feel safe when you're holding me near."
  • "Love the way that you conquer your fear."
  • "You know hearts don't break around here."
  • "Spent my summer time beside her, and the rest of the year the same."
  • "She is the lighthouse in the night that will safely guide me home."
  • "I'm not scared of passing over or the thought of growing old, because from now until I go, every night I'll kiss you."
  • "We could change this whole world with a piano."
  • "I'm just a boy with a one-man show."
  • "Love could change the world in a moment."
  • "The revolution's coming, it's a minute away."
  • "I know, I'm all for people following their dreams."
  • "The future's in the hands of you and me."
  • "You are the one, girl."
  • "How would you feel, if I told you I loved you?"
  • "So tell me that you love me, too."
  • "We were sat upon our best friend's roof, I had both of my arms round you, watching the sunrise replace the moon."
  • "We were sitting in a parked car, stealing kisses in the front yard."
  • "I'm in pieces, it's tearing me up."
  • "A heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved."
  • "I hope that I see the world as you did."
  • "A life with love is a life that's been lived."
  • "I've got two left feet and a bottle of red wine."
  • "We're going somewhere where the sun is shining bright."
  • "You're like something that God has sent me."
  • "I lost my shoes last night, I don't know where I put my keys."
  • "I get lonely and make mistakes from time to time."
  • "My heart is breaking at the seams and I'm coming apart now."
  • "Always say what's on your mind."
  • "I was twenty four years old when I met the woman I would call my own."
  • "Her daddy said, 'No, you can't marry my daughter.'"
  • "I'm gonna marry the woman I love."
  • "Never had I seen such beauty before."
  • "I never worried about the king and crown."
  • "I gave all my oxygen to people that could breath."
  • "I gave away my money and now we don't even speak."
  • "I drove miles and miles, but would you do the same for me."
  • "Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels."
  • "I drown it with a drink and out of date prescription pills."
  • "All the ones that love me, they just left me on the shelf."
  • "So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself."
  • "I'm here again, between the devil and the danger."
  • "Before I blame someone else, I've got to save myself."
  • "Before I love someone else, I've got to love myself."
Anti...
  • THAT person/friend: *walks in* Oh hey, what's up? What're you doing?
  • Me: Uhh, browsing Klance. What does it look like? *thou should leave, peasant.*
  • THAT friend: Oh ew! So you're an anti?!? Freak!
  • Me: *you.. have my attention now...* W-what?!? No! Why would you think I'm an anti??
  • THAT friend: Well everyone knows that the Klance fandom is filled with antis. Klance is overrated anyway. But you wouldn't understand. You're an idiotic anti!!
  • Me: HEY!! Klance may be overrated, but that doesn't stop me from shipping it. I really love this ship, but that doesn't mean I'll attack others for not thinking the same!! Shipping is for fun and it's not supposed to be used as a means of threatening others.
  • THAT friend: But you don't like Sheith!!! You said so yourself!!
  • Me: Actually, I see Keith and Shiro as having a more brotherly relationship. Broganes. Besides, I HAVE in fact liked or reblogged (or both) cute Sheith stuff before.
  • THAT friend: Well, you're TOTALLY against Sh//aladin right? That's anti.
  • Me: Not EVERY relationship is a romantic one. I just see Shiro as more of a father or even idol figure to the paladins. It's still a close bond, but nothing really romantic... To be honest, I personally ship Shiro more with Allura or Matt. Shatt and Shallura are both good for the soul.
  • THAT friend: Kallura though? What do you have against THAT, HUH?
  • Me: I don't really see the chemistry there..? I mean I get that in all versions of Voltron before, Kallura was practically canon, but, in Legendary Defender I don't really see it. As I said, they're more just 'good friends' to me. That doesn't mean I have anything against the ship, it's just that I personally happen to dislike it. That doesn't mean anything though. Those who ship it can continue shipping it no problem! If it makes them happy, why would I want to take that away from them? Who am I to do that?
  • THAT friend: Well of course you're going to hate on any ship with PIDGE in it right? Because that's "pedophilia?"
  • Me: Well, no. Pidge don't need no man, nor woman. I just see her as that type of character. Her love is more of a family love. Close bonds with friends that fit into the 'you're like a brother to me' category. Lauren said herself that all ships are valid. Jut because someone ships someone else with Pidge with someone doesn't mean I'll hate on them for not having the same view point as me.
  • THAT friend: AND HUNK? Is his ass too PURE for your freaky anti shipping?
  • Me: (I'm not an anti shut upppp!!!) Well no, I more ship Hunk with Shay to be honest. I love Hunk, but he's more of a Mom Friend figure to the Voltron paladins and crew. He's sweet but I still see more of a close friendship.
  • THAT friend: Well what about Klance? Couldn't THAT be considered simply a 'close friendship?'
  • Me: Well.. yeah to be honest, it COULD. I found Klance before I found Voltron, so I guess that's just my own stupid bias. But even if I'd watched Voltron first, I would've shipped Klance, I'm sure of that. No matter what anyone says, it IS true that they even each out nicely. Just because someone else doesn't ship it doesn't mean I'll make an attempt to chop their head off, even though Klance is my OTP. If it even becomes canon, that's just an added bonus. The creators ARE leaning in that general direction right now, but heck, that could change, right? It's just my opinion and it's not gonna change, but I'm not going to hurt someone else for dissing it, even though I don't agree.
  • THAT friend: *scoff* Whatever, freak anti.
  • Me: *sigh* Listen, I don't know where you got this anti thing from, but just because some Klance shippers are anti doesn't mean ALL of them are. All ships and fandoms in general have antis, and though none of us like it, it's just a thing we'll have to deal with. All we can do is be nice and try not to bite each others' heads off, but DON'T make the mistake that everyone in a certain category must be this or that. It's not right and you have to accept that. Believe me, if I had ANY control over this discourse, I'd try to do everything in my power to at least make it better. Unfortunately, I'm just one person over the internet, so I can't do much accept sitting back, watching, and putting in my shitty opinion here and there.
  • THAT friend: ... You had to get deep, didn't you?
  • Me: Huehuehue, fuk u 2.
Flip Phones Are Making a Comeback 🤙
  • iPhone User: How can you even stand it?
  • Android User: Stand what?
  • iPhone User: Your phone's crappy camera. Every picture looks like it was printed from a gameboy.
  • Android User: At least mine isn't an overpriced piece of junk that bends if you put in your pocket.
  • iPhone User: Excuse me? I think all of that extra price goes to making sure our phone DON'T EXPLODE!
  • Android User: It's only the Note 7 that explodes. You don't know anything.
  • Flip Phone: *rings* Hello, Moto.
  • *both phone users glance at it momentarily until it stops ringing*
  • Android User: Uhh, anyway. At least our phones aren't made in sweatshops.
  • iPhone User: You didn't need to take this conversation in that direction, but your phone is probably made in a sweatshop too.
  • Android User: Our sweatshops are 100% more humane than Apple's gulags.
  • Flip Phone: *rings* Hello, Moto.
  • iPhone User: Is that piece of junk yours?
  • Android User: No, who uses a flip phone in 20XX. I thought it was yours.
  • iPhone User: *picks up flip phone* It's so old, but it seems familiar.
  • Android User: Are you going to answer it?
  • iPhone User: No. You answer it.
  • Android User: Hell no! You picked it up. Why don't you answer it?
  • iPhone User: I don't know. Something doesn't seem right about it. I'm going home.
  • Android User: Don't forget to take your flip phone with you.
  • iPhone User: You keep it, as an android user, you're used to cheap pieces of junk.
  • Android User: Low blow!
  • *at night*
  • Android User: *tossing and turning in bed*
  • Flip Phone: *ringing grows progressively louder* HELLO, MOTO!
  • Android User: *picks up flip phone* Piece of garbage. Why do you keep ringing. I should just answer it.
  • Android User: *gets nervous* Why don't I want to answer it? Jesus, I just need to get rid of this thing.
  • Android User: *tosses flip phone out of the window* That's better.
  • Android User: *attempts to go back to sleep but ringing starts again* Fucking no! Is this some sort of nightmare!?
  • Android User: *notices their own phone ringing on their drawer* Oh. *answers it*
  • Android User: Whom am I speaking to?
  • iPhone User: Hey, it's me.
  • Android User: It's late, what do you want?
  • iPhone User: You know how it's just the two of us that hang out.
  • Android User: Yeah, what about it?
  • iPhone User: Didn't it used to be three of us that hung out?
  • Android User: No, it's been just the two of us since we were kids.
  • iPhone User: We had a third friend that we hung out with everyday. I know this sounds crazy, but somehow both of us forgot about her.
  • Android User: I have no clue what you're talking about.
  • iPhone User: That's the point! Like, she did everything with us, but I can't remember anything specifically about her. It's like someone took an eraser to my mind, but for some reason I have all these faint memories about her coming back to me and I'm freaking out.
  • Android User: Man, I think you just need some sleep. You sound crazy right now.
  • iPhone User: I'm afraid. I'm afraid that if I got to sleep when I wake up I won't remember you. I think something bad is going to happen to you.
  • Android User: I'm fine. My dad owns a gun. If someone tries to break into our house or something, they'll get their heads blown off. I guess we might have to deal with vengeful ghosts, but those usually take a few years to develop. Get some sleep, please.
  • iPhone User: Okay, goodnight... I love you.
  • Android User: Uhh, the feeling's mutual... I guess. *hangs up*
  • Android User: Overemotional, I swear. *attempts to sleep*
  • *loud knock at the door*
  • Android User: Goddammit! Dad'll get it.
  • *banging persists and only gets louder*
  • Android User: Okay, I guess I have to answer it again. *grabs one of their dad's guns and answer the door*
  • Android User: *aims gun into the dark night* Who's out there!? Who was knocking on my door!? ...No one. Fucking neighbor kids, I swear.
  • Flip Phone: *rings* Hello, moto!
  • Android User: Of fucking course. *screams into the night* I guess some PARANORMAL FORCE just magically put the flip phone on my porch. How about I just BLAST IT TO PIECES!
  • The Night: *stays silent*
  • Android User: *sighs* This has to be a stupid fucking prank. I bet that iPhone using "friend" of mine is doing this to set me up.
  • Android User: *notices the caller ID on the flip phone* Rebecca? Why is that name so familiar?
  • Android User: *answers phone* Hello?
  • Rebecca: Look below your porch. Look below your porch. Look below your porch. Look below your porch.
  • Android User: Fuck off. *hangs up* If someone really is below my porch, you can crawl out! I'll be sure to blast your brains out! I'm not afraid!
  • Android User: I'm a fucking idiot for this. *peers below the porch* There's nothing. This really is all some prank. *stands up*
  • *the front door is closed*
  • Android User: *checks the door* It's locked! Fuck! Okay, this is actually getting weird, but I'm armed. If anyone tries to mess with me I'll fucking shoot them.
  • Android User: *checks self* Where the fuck did I put that phone?
  • Flip Phone: *rings from the back of the house* ...hello, moto.
  • Android User: *sweats nervously* Okay, stay calm. Remember, you're armed. This is all a prank and they'll feel like fucking idiots when they realize they nearly got themselves shot over this. *walks to the back of the house*
  • *the next morning*
  • iPhone User: *frantically scrolling through phone*
  • Grandmother: What's wrong, honey?
  • iPhone User: I don't know. I'm looking for someone in my phone contacts, but they're not there!
  • Grandmother: Who?
  • iPhone User: I don't know! Ugh!
  • Grandmother: Calm down, honey. I'm sure you'll find them.
  • iPhone User: Grandma, did I used to hang out with anyone? Like, I regularly had friends over, right?
  • Grandmother: Well, I'm going to be honest with you. You've always been a bit of an introvert. But as long as you keep up with your schoolwork, it's no bother to me.
  • iPhone User: No, I had two friends, didn't I? Don't you remember them? You knew both of them by name. They were my childhood friends.
  • Grandmother: I'm not sure. You liked being by yourself as a child. H-Have you been using drugs?
  • iPhone User: No, grandma! It's just... I don't know. I'm lonely and stressed out and I don't know why.
  • Grandmother: It must be your schoolwork, honey. You're such a hard worker and you hardly ever give yourself a break. Remember, you have to take out some time for yourself to relax too. Studying is important, but so is your mental health
  • iPhone User: You're right. Finals are coming up. I guess I've been letting it all go to my head.
  • Flip Phone: *rings* Hello, Moto.
  • Grandmother: *takes phone out of pocket* Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? *hangs up* Strange.
  • iPhone User: Where did you get that phone?
  • Grandmother: I've had it for a while now. Is there something wrong with it?
  • iPhone User: No... not anything that I remember.
  • Me: I saw some people on Tumblr saying that white guys love Kylo Ren because he's the only new character they can relate to in The Force Awakens, what's your take on that?
  • Husband: I am literally the only white guy I know who loves Kylo Ren.

i made the mistake of googling ‘russian endearments’ and 

  • let’s say it’s sometime in neil’s junior year like he’s the Captain with a capital C now and babe is trying his best to keep all these rowdy kids in check and he’s doing a pretty bang up job (save for having to literally fight a few of them but y’know it’s neil that was bound to happen)
  • so the captain thing is going great and honestly things with kevin have calmed down (they’re still at each others throats about exy but i mean that will never change) kevin is as chill as kevin day can get 
  • aaron is still his dick self but he lights up every time katelyn so much as texts him so there’s that, neil can handle aaron’s generic brand of assholery 
  • tbh neil’s getting cocky b/c man everything is going so well? practices are going great (mostly), the team is shaping up (not to kevin’s standards but is anything ever to kevin’s standards), matt is there to make sure some of the more upstart kids listen to their tiny angry captain with well-placed affirmations and shovel-sized hands on shoulders 
  • but, of course, there are still things that catch Captain neil off-guard 
  • andrew minyard is one of those things

Keep reading

Sing from the heart
  • Frypan: So many complicated relationships! Maybe you guys should just sing to convey your feelings!
  • Newt *to Y/N*: Maybe we found love right where we are.
  • Y/N *to Newt*: Looking so crazy, your love got me looking so, looking so crazy in love!
  • Thomas *to Teresa*: I don't know what it is, that makes me feel like this, I don't know who you are, but you must be some kind of superstar.
  • Brenda *to Thomas*: Hey! Hey! you! You! I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one.
  • Teresa *to Thomas*: Is it too late now to say sorry?
  • Minho: ....
  • Minho: I'm sexy and I know it!
Viktor getting on Yuuri's nerves on purpose
  • Viktor: *Instagram video taping Yuuri making breakfast* You guys, we decided on a lazy day, he's making me breakfast.
  • Yuuri: Stop taping everything I do, your fans will unfollow you.
  • Viktor: *offended* well if they are really my fans they'll love seeing your ass while you make breakfast as much as I do.
  • Yuuri: *Turns around facing camera with wide eyes, before letting out an exasperated sigh*
  • Viktor: Alright guys, he just got out of the shower, look at that glistening body!
  • Yuuri: *Wide eyed towel around his waist* *while grabbing nearest thing, which is a pillow* Viktor, I fucking swear to god!
  • *Video ends with pillow knocking the phone down and Viktor laughing hysterically*
  • Viktor: *giggling like a school girl, video taping their walk in closet*
  • Yuuri: *exasperated from inside closet* where are all of my shirts, Viktor?
  • Viktor: I don't know they aren't my shirts.
  • Yuuri: *walking out of closet, fresh sweat pants on, no shirt* I know you took them, where did you put them? *Is annoyed at himself for chuckling*
  • Viktor: We aren't going anywhere, you don't need a shirt.
  • *Video ends*
  • *Now on couch, each on opposite ends, watching TV*
  • Yuuri: *Wearing a shirt that's obviously too big for him*
  • Viktor: HE PUT ON ONE OF MY SHIRTS, GUYS, LOOK HOW CUTE
  • Yuuri: *rolls his eyes at the camera* stop taping me!
  • Viktor: THE CUTEST
  • Yuuri: *is on other couch now, away from Viktor, focused on TV*
  • Viktor: Babe, please come back.
  • Yuuri: *looks at camera before rolling his eyes* Not until you put your phone away.
  • Viktor: *pout in his voice* I need to document how much I love you for the world to see ~~~
  • Yuuri: *presses lips into sharp line while looking at him*
  • *Yuuri now being cuddled by Viktor on the same couch*
  • Viktor: He came back!
  • Yuuri: *laughing*
  • Viktor: Gimme a kiss.
  • Yuuri: Not on camera.
  • Viktor:
  • Viktor: We kissed at a competition on the ice.
  • Yuuri:
  • Yuuri: *Gives him a kiss*
October 1st(The Ipliers and Septiceyes)
  • Mark: ok, so Jack and I have made some plans for this month of October. The first thing we're having is--
  • Dr. Iplier: Doctor's day!
  • Mark: Doc, no. We're not having a doct--
  • Jack: I think that would be a great idea. I'll totally fill Henrik in.
  • Ed Edgar: Can we also have a sell my son day?
  • Mark: Ed. Why do you come up with stupid ideas?
  • Ed Edgar: Just like the time where you got scared by Pennywise in the "IT" movie.
  • Mark: you got scared too, dumbass.
  • Dark: ugh, you guys are so annoying. Wish I was dead. God, I wanna kill all of you.
  • Anti: Same here, bro. These fuckers are pissing me off.
  • Marvin: Well, we can use magic in our sleeves for the Halloween party on Oct. 30th
  • Bim: I'll be the entertainment.
  • Sliver: I hate Halloween. It takes away from safety.
  • Jackieboy Man: I know right? Kids these days don't know how to be safe.
  • Schneep: Vell, I shall go get me doctah suit and nout give a shit about every one of you.
  • Mark: *facepalms*
  • Wilford: what did I miss?

I can’t concentrate on work so I sketched feanor with baby maglor sorta based on this post (I wanted to draw all of them but wow is that not going to happen lol)

criticalmemer  asked:

I don't know if you ever got around to finding the origin for the meme "oh worm?" but from what I've seen, it's meant to be a play on the phrase "oh word?" I'm not entirely sure, but I hope this helps

Yeah, that seems to be about right.

It’s interesting because this meme is so elusive and everyone has their own theories on where it comes from. It reminds me of the days back in 2014 when there was that meme that went like, “I came out to have a good time and honestly I’m feeling so attacked right now.” Everyone was using that meme but it seemed like no one knew where it came from. People started making up stories that it came from a tweet by Nick Jonas, and it almost became accepted as the origin of the meme within some circles, but eventually, the truth came out. (Know Your Meme has an entry on it here.)

That’s the thing about the Internet. It’s pretty ironic: the Internet makes things more permanent than ever, yet Web phenomena can be so fleeting. The fact that it almost became fact that “I came out to have a good time and honestly I’m feeling so attacked right now” came from one of the Jonas Brothers made me feel wistful and a sense of loss. So much of what we know about Internet culture could have been lost. The Nick Jonas narrative is a lot less endearing to me as someone interested in memes. What I like about memes is that with just enough luck, they can be started by almost anyone. It doesn’t require a celebrity like Nick Jonas to start a meme. It just takes enthusiastic people on the Internet, and that’s what really matters.

Anyway, so I was inspired to start Meme Documentation. Sorry for the ramble. And yeah, I still have no idea where the “oh, worm?” thing came from.

UPDATE (4 Aug 2017): An explanation post for the oh, worm? meme is now available and can be accessed here.