Say no more
Feeling a tad bit angsty though i’m not sure if I delivered that through the piece. This was probably not what you had in mind when you requested this but it took a turn like this so hopefully you don’t mind at all! Thank you for sending in your request and I hope you enjoy.
PS: My sickness just got worst and now I’m running a fever too so updates will really be slow until I can function normally like a healthy person! I’ll be putting my health first but rest assured, I will be getting through your requests as soon as I can. Hopefully, I’ll be less sick tomorrow and well enough the day after. Hope you guys understand! Thank you.
You never thought you would ever come to this point in your relationship. You always thought the two of you were strong enough to go through it together but your nights are mostly spent alone and you barely even see him anymore. You don’t know if this is because he is getting busier by the waking minute or if he has fallen out of love with you. You can’t tell at all.
There are times when he doesn’t even come home for a few days, a week at most and during those times when he is not at home, he barely even sends you any text messages and you are just so consumed with worry that you have started to neglect your own feelings and even your own health.
You miss your boyfriend. You absolutely miss Tim.
Things used to be really wonderful between the two of you before. He rarely ever kept secrets from you. You knew he had been Robin before he became Red Robin. All of his important secrets – even his parents – he has never kept them away from you. He would often tell you things about his missions, the people he has managed to save and the people that he didn’t manage to save at all. Sometimes you think Tim’s empathy will be the cause of his own downfall. Still you keep by his side, supporting him through thick and thin, ups and downs.
So when Tim finally comes back to you completely plastered, right off the bat you knew something is wrong. Tim rarely ever drinks to the point where he gets this plastered. Tipsy, yes but drunk, rarely ever.
You didn’t recognize the man standing in front of you but he had been surprised to see you there. You had caught that look on his face before it disappeared, replaced by yet another unreadable expression. You shrug it off – Tim’s the only thing that matters right now.
“I didn’t really know who to call or how to operate his phone.” The man simply tells you before depositing the drunk Tim in to your arms. You can smell the alcohol on him and you almost want to puke – you’ve never really liked the smell of alcohol. You quietly thank the man and with one last (questioning?) look at you, the man leaves the building and you close the door behind you with an uneasy, heavy heart.
“Tim, what have you been doing?” You ask yourself as you try to help Tim to go to the bedroom. You are currently supporting him, holding his arm and trying to lead him to the bedroom. Tim groans and says something intangible. You strain to hear his words – you have missed listening to his voice so much. “I can’t understand you, Tim.”
Tim narrows his eyes at you before trying to pull away from you, shoving your shoulders. He is weak and drunk enough that he was not able to put in a lot of strength in his push but you still manage to stumble a little bit, quite surprised by his reaction. “Let go of me.” He hisses, surprising you yet again with his response.
You can feel your heart starting to race because this is not how you envisioned meeting your boyfriend after not being around for a week. You envisioned something more like Tim hugging you and telling you he misses you just like how you have missed him. This is certainly not what you had expected: Tim coming back to you, drunk and hostile towards you.
You release the hold you have on Tim and he pulls his arms away from your hold, moving away with much difficulty from you. You would be lying if you say that did not hurt your feelings because it did. It hurt you so much.
You follow after Tim, keeping your distance especially when he kept growling at you for following him closely. There were words said that Tim normally wouldn’t say being thrown at you too. “I am not incompetent!” He yells at you after the fifth time you tried to follow him to help and this causes you to abruptly stop.
Tim maneuvers around the place drunkenly, hands on the wall and manages to somehow reach the bedroom in his drunken state. You follow after him quietly and when he flops down on to the bed, that is when you begin to talk to him. In hindsight, you probably should have not since Tim looked like he was not in any state of rational talking but you just couldn’t take it anymore.
“Where have you been, Tim? I miss you.” Half of you weren’t really expecting any sort of coherent answer because of how intoxicated he currently is. The other half is just hoping he would at least give you an explanation.
Tim surprises you. “Here and there but mostly there. This place is just suffocating me. I hate it.” His words cut you like a knife. You can feel your blood draining and your face is probably pale. “It’s like I’m being buried alive.” You never knew Tim felt that way – is this how he felt about being in a relationship with you? It makes you wonder if all those times you spent with him meant nothing to him. Is this the reason why he barely came home at all?
Hearing those words from him made you feel as if your entire being has started sinking with depression. You knew right at that moment; you would have to ask him. Not for his sake but mostly for your own. You love Tim far too much to let him continue to hurt you like this. Tears well up in your eyes as your heart begins to crack, pieces falling off in to the dark abyss that is beginning to grow inside you.
“Did you ever love me, Tim?” You try your hardest to hold back the sobs but your vision is starting to get blurry and you know there are tears streaming down your face. You didn’t even bother wiping them away. What is the point?
Tim rolls his eyes, groaning at how annoying and high-pitched your voice sounds like. “Can you just shut up?” He grumbles before glaring at you as best as he can. “Probably not in the way you wanted me to.” He slurs before promptly turning to look away from you. A few seconds later, Tim is dead to the world, snoring away in his sleep.
You knew you should not really take his words to heart because Tim is drunk but you really just could not take it anymore. Tim has been neglecting you and you have spent all of those times worrying about him and yet, this is how he treats you. He takes your heart and rips them apart in to pieces.
You begin to sob uncontrollably. Despite how much you try to muffle your sobs; you really could not help yourself. You cried and cried for the longest time.
“I can’t stay here.” You tell yourself once you managed to get your sobbing under control. You really don’t think you can face Tim in the morning and still act as if nothing had happened the previous night even when you know he had torn your heart in to irreparable pieces. You may know how to act but you are not that good of an actress.
So you pick yourself up, head over to your wardrobe, grab a few pieces of clothing and head over to your vanity table to grab your purse. You made sure you had every important belonging with you – your passport most importantly.
As much as you hated leaving at the middle of the night like this, you have had enough and despite wanting to leave Tim unattended, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. So you pour him a glass of water, place said glass of water, some Advil and a bottle of water on his bedside table.
“I love you so much, Tim.” Your heart simply continues to break – you don’t think it will ever be alright ever again – and right now, you are just too damn tired to pick up the pieces anymore. So you take one last look at Tim before leaving the apartment and the man that has taken your heart entirely.