like i am literally screaming because i think is way too pretty

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 3

And we did it again, amigos! 

  1. “My sock is missing.”
  2. “I must say it can be rather therapeutic”
  3. “Shit, they spotted us. Quick, put your Obama mask on.”
  4. “You raided my village, killed my parents and slaughtered tens of innocent people. I was able to forgive you for all of that-tell myself it was in your nature. But then you did something heinous. Something beyond all possible hope of redemption. You killed my dog.”
  5. “What do you mean you accidentally assassinated the Pope!?”
  6. “I would love to give a fuck about you but sadly my last one went off to war and never returned”
  7. “If you think I’ll stop my quest for world domination for a bag of cookies, you are,,, right… Now, gimme that!”
  8. “What are you doing with that rubber duckie toy– OH DEAR GOD LORD HAVE MERCY”
  9. “I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
  10. “I already told you, there’s nothing we can do about the fights. We COULD if you stopped spoiling shows and books to everyone.”
  11. “You, my friend, are the most unnecessary when it comes to your excessively sassy attitude.”
  12. “I love you.” “…..What? OH APRIL FOOLS.”
  13. “What is this, a concert for ants???”
  14. “I made it! I’m in the list! This is being a great day since I remembered it’s a Thursday, not a Monday!”
  15. “It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that, well, I’ve got a sink full of dishes and a cat to wash.”
  16. “When you said i had pretty eyes i thought you were complimenting me,not trying to buy them!”
  17. “The wolves eat tonight.”
  18. “Gee, thanks for nearly killing me because of ____!” “Listen up here, are you dead? You’d better be greateful you’re still alive tou little shit.”
  19. "When you said you could fly, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
  20. “Sarah, I love you and all but hOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP SENDING OUR PETS TO SPACE?!”
  21. “Look, just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean I’m going to marry you.”
  22. “How in God’s name did you even get up there?!”
  23. “I think I misplaced my right hand”
  24. “I did it! I got into university!” “That’s great! What course?” “Uh… Would it be a bad thing if I told you that… Dark magic and villainy?”
  25. “Well, it just so happens that I have been a homeless man for three years now. That must mean I’m the chosen one!”
  26. “Have your eyes always been that colour?”
  27. “I’m going to fight the sun!”
  28. “You can’t just run around punching people you don’t like, ____!”
  29. “I’m not into that kinda thing.”
  30. “Dude why did you eat all that cake on your own?”
  31. “I just wanted to know if we could use a plastic knife”
  32. “Uhhhh, guys? Don’t hate me, but I think I just released Satan”
  33. “Well, fine… Just wait a little bit before you do something stupid.” “…”
  34. “What do you mean there’s no bacon flavored ice cream!?”
  35. “What do you mean you’re my sister? I don’t have a sister!”
  36. “Why the hell do we need a duck to hunt Bigfoot?”
  37. “Oh, so you can do pink explosions too”
  38. “This isn’t my kitchen, is it?”
  39. “Ohhh, so THAT’S what you meant by ‘shooting starts’.”
  40. “ACHOO” “bless you” “Thank you, wait a minute I live alone”
  41. “Put my creepy cat in a different room? Don’t be silly! I don’t even have a cat!”
  42. “Katie, please stop shooting me with tranquilizer darts.”
  43. “Why did you think it was a good idea to only bring a potato to this heist?”
  44. “Okay, we make this promise now - nobody look at that fucking goat ever again.”
  45. “Sarah, why is the cat naked?”
  46. “Wait. You’re aroused?”
  47. “Why would that surprise you?”
  48. “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  49. “okay so let me get this straight, you’re not actually my long lost twin…” “yes.” “…because you’re me from another dimension” “…yes.”
  50. “I’m sorry, but did that thing just talk?”
  51. “I thought we promised to never speak of that incident again!”
  52. "Sweetheart”“Yes dear”“Some of your morally challenged friends are trying to kidnap me again.”“And?”“And!?”“You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.”“Of course I can, but the gesture would have been nice!”
  53. “how many epilepsy pills can you take before you overdose?” “Just one or two.” “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
  54. “…I was GOING to ask why there’s a pink goo all over the kitchen floor but I think that can wait whilst I ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON?”
  55. “For the last time, can you stop calling that thing 'human’”
  56. “Okay, that is a seriously dodgy looking hat-are you certain you’re right about this?”
  57. “Really Darling, you can stop trying to scream, we’ve already espablished that no one cares and it’s giving you unflattering lines on your forehead.”
  58. “_______, why am I on the ceiling?”
  59. “What the heck happened while I was at the store?
  60. "What the actual fuck!” “I did warn-” “Yes I know you said you were crazy, but this…. This is…” “Just another Tuesday. Oh we’re late for tea!” “With who?!” “With the Queen of course, who else?”
  61. “Despreate times call for cows.”
  62. “Did you burn the last piece of toast again?”
  63. “You didn’t TELL me there’d be free food!”
  64. “Did Jesus really die for this bullshit?”
  65. “Do you want the apocalypse?!! Because that’s how you get the apocalypse!!!”
  66. “Goddamit, I’m dead again aren’t I? How the hell did I do it this time?”
  67. “Dude, no.”
  68. “I may be a horrible person, but at least I am an honest one.”
  69. “I told you, I dress to kill, now fetch me my fancy stilettos, mama’s gonna slay tonight!”
  70. “I left the room for 3 minutes and you really want to tell me you started a war with every single planet?” “Well, I told you 3 months ago to not leave me alone.” “And I told you I have to use the bathroom 3 months ago!”
  71. “Wow, only took 3 minutes to destroy the world.” “Let’s see if I can do it in 2!”
  72. “So… Wh-Why- How did you flush the duck down the toilet?”
  73. “dude. i liked that carpet. do you know how hard it is to wash bloodstains out of carpets.”
  74. “Don’t worry, it’s much worse than it looks.”
  75. “What are you doing ___?” “I’m camping.” “No you’re beside tree with a blank-” “CAMPING”
  76. “WHAT THE FUCK IS A DUCKPOTATO”
  77. “PUT THE PUPPY DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
  78. “PLEASE DON’T HANG UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN DANGER!”
  79. “What the hell kind of scream was that? And how did you make it?! ”
  80. “Hey, uhm… Hate to interrupt your conversation, but why the fuck is there a giraffe on the soup aisle”
  81. “You mean to tell me that somebody decided it was a good idea to cross plums and apricots, but nobody can figure out why my cat has RABBIT ears?”
  82. “Sorry but um… why is there a fox and a bear singing Ooh la la by Britney Spears on the balcony? And where is my chicken, Pudding?!”
  83. “Where did you get LIGHT-UP COMBAT BOOTS? THEY CHANGE COLOR?!”
  84. “So you’re telling me there was a genie trapped in that can of soup? And you accidentally ATE THE GENIE?!”
  85. “Listen…don’t take this the wrong way, but…I love the OTHER you better.”
  86. “Tell me why,  exactly, did you need the rubber chicken? ”
  87. “Look, I’m not a liar, alright?  And I ain’t overdramatic or hyperbolic or whatever else you wanna call me.  So when I say I would sell my soul for a pancake right now, I mean I will literally sell my soul for a pancake right now.  And maybe a million dollars.”
  88. “Wait a second, you’re telling me that….. YOU’VE BEEN DATING SATAN BEHIND MY BACK FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS?!!!”
  89. “Well dad did say he would be gone for five days…what the hell? Let’s go to the corner store!”
  90. “Why did you buy 74 melons?!”
  91. “Where’s the toaster?” “It’s in the kitchen… Why do you have a fork?” “K, thanks.”
  92. “Death, out of all the things in this world, why are so afraid of ____?”
  93. “This floor is like my life; Cold and Hard.”
  94. “So you’re telling me that I am the only thing that is preventing a Third World War, right?” “Yeah, pretty much.”
  95. “I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine but I promise it will turn out okay.”
  96. “Little did you know, they were slowly turning into werewolves.”
  97. “Umm… I may have possibly accidentally blown up another planet”
  98. “I told you not to do that… now look, you’ve lost your hand!”
  99. “Every time you speak I literally die a little”
  100. “One baby soul please, Adult souls give me gas!”

“I need you, yes you (you should feel targeted), to come up with a new dialogue prompt for part 4 and leave it in the comments below. It’s fun and the first 100 replies will make the next list. As always, one prompt per amigo and don’t forget the doubles quotes “”. Pantoffel” (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2)

anonymous asked:

What are some of the major differences between autism and ADD/ADHD? Stuff like impulse control, executive function issues, stimming etc are pretty common to both of them, and i know a good handful of autistic people (myself included) who got misdiagnosed as ADD/ADHD as a kid. And the fact that the two can be comorbid just makes it more confusing

eokay so first of all: i have both. so of course i cannot distinguish between both, because both are “me”. so i’m making the distinction by what i read more often in ADHD or autism contexts.

the things i’m listing are not diagnostic criteria, just things that i have seen talked about often. you might not relate to all of them even if you have ADHD / autism. additionally, having one or a few traits of something does not mean you definitely have it, but if you go “yes! that’s me!” at most or all of them, you might check the thing out more thoroughly.

there’s a summary at the end

things that are more ADHD and less autism:

impulsivity. i get an idea and then i immediately drop whatever i am doing (often quite literally) and do the other thing. for example: i am preparing a sandwidch. i am in the process of putting butter on the bread. then i think: i want tea. in that same second i drop the knife, on the floor, turn around to the water boiler and switch it on. then i realize that dropping the knife was probably not such a good idea because it’s dirty now. 

getting distracted. not by anything specifically, just.. anything. for example, i opened this ask and wanted to answer. then i got distracted for 15 minutes and forgot all about it until i accidentally opened this tab again. i described this in this slightly funny post: my general idea of functioning is getting distracted often enough so that i eventually come back to the thing i was originally doing.

constantly forgetting what you were just doing or thinking. this is pretty much what leads to both being easily distracted and impulsivity. it’s more than just forgetting. it is completely forgetting about the idea of a thing possibly occurring. you’re having an intense, captivating tumblr chat with someone and then you go to the bathroom and it is gone from your brain. you go bake some cookies, read a book, cut your hair, and when you come back to the computer it’s ohhhhh shit i was having a conversation until i suddenly disappeared… 3 hours ago.

being unable to sit still ever. it is more than just stimming. it is stimming 120% of the time. it is doing multiple stims at the same time always. i CAN not sit still. it does not happen. i am unable to not stim. 

hyperfocusing randomly. like what i am doing with this post right now. i started typing and then i got completely caught up on it and now i cannot stop and i forget the time and anything else i was going to do because this post is my world now and i. must. finish.

hyperactivity. i cannot describe this better than ALALAL ALALALA KLHADFUILSDHFJKUIEF!!!!!!!!!! LKSKSHALALALAL!!!!!!!!! it’s jumping around the room. running up the walls. sitting upside-down on your chair while screaming from laughter. spamming your twitter with 200 tweets that just say “CACTUS!!!!!!!!!! MOLAR TOOTH!!! CACTUS!!!!!!!” while laughing your ass off. 

losing every object. always. misplacing objects that you were actually using just now. pencils, headphones, jewellery, coffee cup, everything. where is my phone that i was using 20 seconds ago? i have no idea. 3 hours later i find it in the laundry basket. or on some door handle. losing ridiculously large objects that you cannot possibly lose and being unable to locate them for hours. objects that i have misplaced inside a 40 square meters apartment: laundry basket, mattress, chairs, tables, small oven, computer, and many others. you get the idea.

forgetting plans and appointments and everything really. i recently learned that some people can actually keep complex plans in their heads. a fellow autistic explained me that he can remember everything he needs to do and lie it down neatly in his mind. i don’t think every autistic is as good with that as he is, but most people have some sort of idea what their next big tasks are. i don’t. i don’t even know where i wrote them down. i also forget appointments because even if i remember that i have plans for wednesday, that does not automatically mean that i realize when wednesday is happening.

addiction to distraction and entertainment. boredom is torture, and i don’t mean that as an exaggeration. sitting in a waiting room drives you up the wall, sometimes quite literally. forgetting your phone is not just irritating and means you have to read the cereal box. no. you build a tower out of the cereal boxes and jump on the table. when the party is going slow you collect all the paper flyers and fold 100 airplanes and shred the rest of the flyers to pieces. not being able to concentrate without loud music in the background. 

things that are more autism and less ADHD:

sensory hypersensitivities. not just getting distracted or annoyed by bad sensory input, but actually getting hurt and deeply uncomfortable. not being able to even sit near someone with deodorant on. starting to cry whenever you get cold. ripping your shirt off because the tag was too scratchy. 

sensory hyposensitivities. not being able to feel the pain from scratches. not being able to enjoy music unless it is ridiculously loud drumming against your ears, while not being hard of hearing. only being able to calm down when something is pressing against your ribcage so hard you can hardly breathe. enjoying bright flickering lights right against your eyeballs. 

the bliss that stimming is. it is not just “something that feels pleasant”. it is something that makes you feel whole. it is something that puts you in a place where everything is good and right and the right stim fills you up with pure bliss. you soak it up like a sponge and you feel like you’re flying and it’s the best thing. it clears your mind and soothes your soul.

the overwhelm of sensory overload. you literally cannot function in a loud, crowded area. sensory overload makes you forget how to think. you immediately shut down or meltdown. you become helpless. you can not get yourself out of this situation safely. you get lost. you are unable to figure out a way to get out of the situation. you can get in real danger because of sensory overload if you do not have help or luck. 

auditory and visual processing difficulties. needing subtitles for every movie you watch, even though you are neither Deaf nor hard of hearing. constantly going “what? say that again? HUH?? i can’t hear you over that noise!” while everyone around you is conversing easily. being unable to decipher an image quickly. being unable to read maps or flowcharts.

trouble with verbal communication. you might be nonverbal sometimes or always. you might have problems saying the right words. you might rely on scripting heavily, that means you have fixed rules of what to say in which situations. you might be unable to react if your script stops working because someone says something unexpected. you might be unable to say what you mean because you cannot find words fast enough. you might say things that you do NOT mean because you have heard them somewhere so the words are more easily found. 

trouble with nonverbal communication. not being able to read tone of voice, facial impressions and allistic body language. constantly being misinterpreted because you make the “wrong” body language or facial impressions or tone. not being able to recognize irony and jokes because you can’t take the subtle hints that people give about them. not being able to interpret emojis and emoticons. not being able to recognize the difference between “hello”, “hello!” and “hello…”. coming off across as “rude”, “weird”, “scary” or something else that you are not. 

being unable to figure out social rules and conventions. why do you always have to answer “fine” to the question “how are you?”? why does a person think that i hate them just because i do not like talking to them? why do people think i like them just because i was talking to them? which people do you call by their first name and which by their last name? why do people laugh about me just because i hugged my teacher? nobody laughs when i hug my friend.

relying on sameness, rules, schedules and rituals. no, i cannot drink tea out of the coffee cup. it Does Not Work. i cannot sleep without my squishy pillow. i cannot wear my Outside clothes inside. when i make a plan, things have to go EXACTLY as planned or i melt down. i cry when i lose my favourite stim toy. it can also mean: having to do the same things every day at the same time. getting overwhelmed by changes. not being able to function in an unfamiliar schedule. not being able to do things out of order. not being able to sleep with the Wrong sheets. not being able to eat from red dishes. and many others.

things that are both autism and ADHD:

needing to fidget or stim. being unable to concentrate or calm down without moving or specific sensory input. not being able to function properly when not allowed to stim. shutting or melting down when not being able to stim. 

special interests or hyperfixations. “special interest” is the autism term and “hyperfixation” is the ADHD term. it means fixating on a certain subject so intensely that you can hardly think about anything else. some people learn subjects very deeply in a very short time. it means getting caught up in it. it’s what you think about in every second. like being in love, only with a subject instead of a person.

living in a fantasy world. retreating into a safe space to escape from a world that is not very kind to us. hyperfixating on a story or a fantasy world or dreamworld as an interest, either as a refuge or as a special interest or both.

trouble with socializing. being ridiculed for being “weird”. being unable to function well in social situations because of your specific disabilities. having a hard time maintaining friendships and other social relationships.

appearing eccentric. dressing and behaving in unusual ways. having unconventional interests and hobbies. being unable to connect with most other people, being the “different” person in most groups. having social positions such as the “class clown” or “the outcast” - entertaining everyone else or distancing yourself from everyone else. 

appearing childlike or younger than you are. never getting rid off childlike behaviours. stimming and fidgeting because you like it or because it helps. not caring about how you look. having hobbies and interests that are seen as “childish”. impulsive actions that appear childlike. behaviour that is seen as childlike.

executive dysfunction. being unable to do things even though you really want to do them. being unable to start tasks or switch tasks. being unable to recall what you know in an unfamiliar situation. being unable to figure out the steps necessary for completing a task. 

reactions to over- and understimulations. you might start to fidget or stim. you might try to get away or get angry or cry because things are too much or because there’s not enough stimulation. you might fall asleep in class because it’s too little stimulation. you might cry in class because it’s too much stimulation.

meltdowns / shutdowns. having reactions that are stronger than is deemed appropriate to negative things like adverse sensory input, emotional stress, etc. that means breaking down crying from small things, having rage fits over small things going wrong, or on the other side completely shutting down, flopping on the floor, freezing in place etc. in case of under- or overstimulation or emotional stress.

developing anxiety or depression. social or generalized anxiety as well as depression are common in people with ADHD and autistics because we often get bullied, our disabilities are often exploited to hurt us, and we may get excluded, ridiculed and hurt on a regular basis. we might despair because we never seem to fit in. we might overcompensate and overtax ourselves in order to appear “normal”. we might burn out as a result.

creativity and unconventional thinking. getting ideas that nobody else has. making connections nobody else would even think of. being good at finding similarities, patterns, and differences. 

daydreaming and spacing out. shutting down or simply daydreaming your way through situations that you cannot function in because of your specific disabilities. forgetting what you were doing and just dreaming away. getting lost in thoughts. dissociating from adverse sensory input. escaping from the reality that is hard to bear or just getting distracted. 

getting caught up in a task. hyperfocusing on a thing that you are doing or being unable to initiate the end of an action. being unable to interrupt your train of thought or action. being unable to switch tasks. 


summary

i don’t claim completeness for this list. so.

more ADHD than autism:

  • impulsivity
  • getting distracted
  • constantly forgetting what you were just doing or thinking
  • being unable to sit still ever
  • hyperfocusing randomly
  • hyperactivity
  • losing every object. always
  • forgetting plans and appointments and everything really
  • addiction to distraction and entertainment

more autism than ADHD:

  • sensory hypersensitivities
  • sensory hyposensitivities
  • the bliss that stimming is
  • the overwhelm of sensory overload
  • auditory and visual processing difficulties
  • trouble with verbal communication
  • trouble with nonverbal communication
  • being unable to figure out social rules and conventions
  • relying on sameness, rules, schedules and rituals

both autism and ADHD:

  • needing to fidget or stim
  • special interests or hyperfixations
  • living in a fantasy world
  • trouble with socializing
  • appearing eccentric
  • appearing childlike or younger than you are
  • executive dysfunction
  • reactions to over- and understimulations
  • meltdowns / shutdowns
  • developing anxiety or depression
  • creativity and unconventional thinking
  • daydreaming and spacing out
  • getting caught up in a task

so that got a lot more elaborate than i was planning… anyway. i hope it answers your question, anon

-lhmod

I love the Matt/Shiro BrOTP so have some headcanons that have been sitting in my drafts for weeks

-Matt is a living meme and Shiro questions their friendship every day

-“You know you love me~”

-Everyone questions how someone so calm and mature can be best friends with Matt and Matt kinda laughs in their face

-Matt: Calm? Mature? This guy almost fought a five-year-old over a chocolate bar!
Shiro: I really like the brand oKAY???

-Matt has tried to set Shiro up on one too many dates. It’s really easy since everyone and their mother has a crush on Shiro but Shiro needs Matt to stop.

-He did after a while until Shiro developed a crush on Allura. Cupid Matt was back. Shiro wanted to kill himself.

-Constantly making fun of each other because they love each other

-Shiro: Matt, if you don’t stop, I will literally sit on you.
Matt: Try me.
*high-pitched screams*

-You wouldn’t believe how often that happens. Spoil alert: A lot.

-They’re pretty competitive when it comes to each other. Whether it comes to bets or board games. Tears are shed. Friendships are broken. It gets pretty intense.

-Matt: I got to move on and be who I am! I just don’t belong here, I hope you understand! We might find our place in this world someday. But at least for now, I gotta find my own way…
Shiro: Don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic over a pizza slice?

-Once Shiro ate the last brownie and Matt wouldn’t talk to him for a week. The dude really loves his food.

-Shiro: No.
Matt: This is homophobia at its finest. ://

-Once they had a convo on what their ship name would be if they dated, Shiro came up with Shatt, Matt disowned him

-Death jokes make up half of their friendship.

-Shiro: I’m going to propel myself off of this balcony.
-Matt: Not without me, you’re not.

✰ * º ❛ even more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  my kink is getting some fuckin sleep.  ’
‘  omg here goes your lil crybaby ass.  ’
‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up.  ’
‘  don’t start buddy. don’t you dare.  ’
‘  gay rights? true, as a gay, i am always right.  ’
‘  not to vent, but: fuck.  ’
‘  the worst pain is to make small talk with someone you once told everything to.  ’
‘  i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot.  ’
‘  sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful.  ’
‘  i want to kiss you in a way that makes you not want to kiss anyone else ever again.  ’
‘  shout out to the people who are still friends with me even though i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed.  ’
‘  i’m a big fan of anything that will help me chill the fuck out.  ’
‘  i don’t go through people’s pictures on their phone cause i wasn’t raised in the jungle.  ’
‘  i think we, as a people, just need to have a glass of water.  ’
‘  i don’t have enough black clothes.  ’
‘  sweetie, i could sleep for ten years and i’d still be tired.  ’
‘  i would sleep so much better with your arms wrapped around me.  ’
‘  me??? tired??? sleepy??? yes, constantly.  ’
‘  i’m pb&j – petty, bitter, and jealous.  ’
‘  the fact that sloths aren’t extinct somehow proves that if you go at your own pace and mind your own fucking business you too can succeed.  ’
‘  i wish i could be the person i want to be, but i’m too tired.  ’
‘  i always look sleep deprived. is that hot?  ’
‘  just because there’s always room for improvement doesn’t mean you’ll never be good enough.  ’
‘  my heart is a soft and sensitive mess.  ’
‘  all i want is a big garden and no responsibilities.  ’
‘  honestly someone not liking beyonce is a deal breaker and not for any political reasons, but just like you’re probably, definitely really boring.  ’
‘  hey guys, i’m a huge fan of genuine love and affection.  ’
‘  now i’m falling asleep and she’s calling a crab and he’s having a smoke and she’s kissing the crab.  ’
‘  i’ve been ever since i heard ‘lonely’ by akon at 9 years-old.  ’
‘  my new years resolution is to stop.  ’
‘  i’m irritated cause i’m not lovable in a romantic soulmate way.  ’
‘  i hate knowing that people that ruined parts of me still live and function like nothing ever happened.  ’
‘  i know i’m cute, but you can remind me.  ’
‘  hey, just wondering, but are you fucking kidding me????  ’
‘  i can’t wait to be in love with someone who is also deepfuck in love with me and we love each other forever n’ ever.  ’
‘  me? clingy? yes. please don’t leave me.  ’
‘  girlfriend application compatibility question: do you keep your depression pile on the bed or on the floor?  ’
‘  anything heart shaped is automatically 200% better. this is a fact.  ’
‘  today’s agenda: screaming into the abyss.  ’
‘  going from ‘today is a good day’ to ‘i hate my life’ takes me approximately 2.6 seconds.  ’
‘  everyone needs to wash their face and go to bed.  ’
‘  i’m worth so much more than the ways i’ve been treated.  ’
‘  hey, can i claim you guys as dependents on my taxes?  ’
‘  i really just ignore phone calls. like leave a message. i don’t check those either but like  ’
‘  i honestly just want to pack my bags and go travel the world and see and explore everything possible.  ’
‘  remember being little and thinking dandelions were fun or a pretty color or something and every adult in an 80 mile radius wouldn’t let you say that without screaming IT’S A WEED.  ’
‘  why did we just accept catdog?  ’
‘  my ‘stay in bed all day’ game’s too strong.  ’
‘  you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.  ’
‘  i always forget that i literally don’t owe anyone anything!  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on.  ’
‘  honestly… us girls? us women? we always out here, knowin.  ’
‘  would an alien think i’m pretty?  ’
‘  i love boys, but only as a concept.  ’
‘  why do parents get mad when you sleep in all day? like i’m staying out of trouble and i’m not spending your money like what’s the issue here????  ’
‘  i identify as an inconvenience to the world.  ’
‘  i seriously regret telling anyone, anything, ever lmao  ’
‘  dating me is like dating a five year-old. i need all of your attention and i’m cranky if i haven’t had a nap.  ’
‘  i’m literally tired of myself.  ’
‘  don’t introduce me to ur parents unless you plan on marrying me because they’re going to love me and ask about me for the rest of your life lol  ’
‘  what the hell is a straight person? only straight thing i know about is the edge of my beloved sword.  ’
‘  i highly recommend never having feelings.  ’
‘  self care is going into a cornfield at night to get abducted by aliens.  ’
‘  staying up late with another human is such a weird thing like you get this special bond and a what-is-this feeling  ’
‘  do u ever feel like ur not even friends with ur friends?  ’
‘  um no offense but whom’st’ve going to loveth me?  ’
‘  date a girl who fucks everything up.  ’
‘  not all who mcfreakin wander are mcfreakin lost.  ’
‘  i may legally be an adult but don’t be fooled. i have no idea what i’m doing.  ’
‘  a fun and interesting fact about me is that i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  you can start again anytime!  ’
‘  all you can do is learn your lesson. there’s no point in wishing you had did differently. the past is the past.  ’
‘  i can’t believe an angel like me has to suffer so much.  ’
‘  you’re all so obsessed with love and being loved. what about just going to sleep?  ’
‘  i’m smart, but i do dumb shit anyway.  ’
‘  tbh i never deal with my emotions. i just let them ravage my body and then go to bed and then i wake up and do it all over again.  ’
‘  first of all: i don’t know shit, so jot that down.  ’
‘  i’ll just ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ my way through life.  ’
‘  i’m tired of things costing money.  ’
‘  don’t you hate it when you’re dead inside and run out of apps to refresh?  ’
‘  who cares? do better, move on.  ’
‘  i don’t need a significant other. just a significant income.  ’
‘  appreciation for everyone who’s ever talked to me bc i’m annoying and dumb.  ’
‘  thnks fr th mntl llnss.  ’
‘  what  hasn’t killed me has just made me overly sensitive and defensive.  ’
‘  i don’t know shit ya’ll!!!!! i’m just out here.  ’
‘  binge-watching is great until you run out of the show and have to start watching it weekly like some sort of medieval peasant.  ’
‘  i’m in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell.  ’
‘  this might come as a shock but I’m Not Feelin too good my dudes.  ’
‘  i’m alive, but only ironically.  ’
‘  there she goes again being over dramatic and by she, i mean me.  ’
‘  do you ever feel like have tried Too Hard to a friend and now you have become That Obnoxious Weirdo?  ’
‘  lgbt: lasagna! garfield’s beloved treat.  ’
‘  my favorite phrase in the english language is ‘i shit you not.’  ’
‘  i’m a real boring bitch! a snoozer!  ’
‘  i honestly look so good lounging in an oversized t-shirt and no pants. when will someone experience the blessing of domestic living w/ me?  ’
‘  you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly.  ’
‘  you son of a mumford!  ’
‘  hi, i’m here to ruin everything.  ’
‘  you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their hands. for example, if it’s a skeleton hand then they’re dead.  ’
‘  the year is 2020 and i am found guilty of treason against the united states for vague blogging that i hate someone and donald trump thought it was about him.  ’
‘  everybody calm down, we’re going to be fine! :))) we’ve weathered worse than this! :) :) :) :) really all this panic just seems like a huge overreaction imho   ’
‘  no beta readers. we publish our crap writing like men.  ’
‘  i need $$$$$ not feelings.  ’
‘  ‘idk imma see’ = i ain’t coming, never was coming, never considered it, never gave it a single thought, only remembered cause you asked again.  ’
‘  oops, i don’t care lol  ’
‘  why girls always crop the halo out of their selfies? stop being so modest. we know the truth.  ’
‘  maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,  ’
‘  i always get told i look like a bitch bc i’m always glaring while i walk, but i’m not glaring, i’m squinting. i have sensitive eyes. they’re watering.  ’
‘  concept: it’s 3 am. candle lit room. a record is spinning. you’re kissing me. we have no worries in the world. we’re warm and content.  ’
‘  i need to go into the forest and scream for an hour and a half.  ’
‘  pls kill all men who yell at girls from cars.  ’
‘  life really isn’t what i expected it to be. less quicksand. almost no quicksand to be honest. lots of metaphorical quicksand tho.  ’
‘  i have a question for u: like are u done… like is it over?  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive.  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive. for me, it’s myself.  ’
‘  whenever i see police i always try not to act suspicious and fail internally even though i never did anything wrong.  ’
‘  new years resolution: less bitter, more glitter.  ’

anonymous asked:

Possible Hiveswap spoilers, so only read this after you've finished playing I guess, But what do you think about the fact that Dammek has a camera in Xefros' room? Like, what the fuck?

I’ve been seeing a lot of discourse about Dammek already so I’m glad I got this ask, haha.

I mean. It’s obviously, transparently fucked up? We know it, the narrative knows it, Joey knows it and loudly screams about it.
Dammek’s treatment of Xefros isn’t on the up and up.

This, by the way, makes perfect sense to me in a way. I don’t think this means Dammek doesn’t CARE about Xefros–I’m sure, after all, that Pa cares about Jude and Joey.
But caring alone does not make healthy relationships. 

On a related note, Xefros has numerous references to being a Page–I’ll be making a post compiling those soon–and Pages have a recurring motif of getting pushed around and “helped” by friends who care but overstep boundaries. To me, Dammek seems like an extension of the trend–the Vriska to Xefros’ Tavros, or the Dirk/AR to his Jake, so to speak.

What their relationship will specifically look like and how it will grow and evolve, of course, is still an open question. Which gets to the heart of how I feel on the matter:

I’m seeing a lot of people say they HATE Dammek now or he’s TERRIBLE and PROBLEMATIC or whatever at this point, and that seems like…really really jumping the gun to me?
It plain old doesn’t make much sense to build up all this outrage at a character whose flaws we’re learning about here, BEFORE HE’S EVEN INTRODUCED. 

Yes, Dammek is transparently, indisputably being an asshole. Dammek is also one of the protagonists of this duology, who will get at least four acts to grow and develop from the point where he’s being introduced. Obviously this is going to be a character trait that Dammek will have to grapple with and overcome one way or another, because that’s what good stories do: Introduce characters with flaws and challenges, put them through conflicts, and have them overcome them.

Especially since it’s not even like Dammek is like Vriska. There is legitimately and truly no future for either Xefros or Dammek that either of them want to be a part of unless Dammek succeeds at his wild ambitions, and he’s living in a fascist totalitarian hellscape, so there’s pretty good grounds for him to be as paranoid and intense as he is. Not to mention that he’s doing that while being…you know, a damn kid? 

We’re talking about a narrative where it’s altogether likely that literal genocidal maniac TRIZZA TETHIS will be redeemed, given she’s completely and utterly doomed by the system and timeline she’s in, so that people are SO pissed at Dammek for…being KIND OF A SHITTY DOUCHE at, what, 15? is…short-sighted, frankly. 

Can’t we focus on how nice it is that Xefros and Joey’s new friendship is already helping Xefros come out of that mindset? Can’t we look forward to character growth instead of being really really angry about INTRODUCTORY CHARACTER TRAITS? 

So like yeah I think it’s good to keep in mind that Dammek and Xefros aren’t the rosy best buds fanon imagined them to be. But spurring a bunch of outrage or w.e is just going to make the fandom really insufferable to deal with when they inevitably reconcile or come to new terms of behavior later, as with Dirk and Jake. I am begging to the spirits above we can avoid that grisly fate.

But can we avoid fandom’s deadly addiction to outrage points? Alas, likely not. 

PS: Relatedly, I have never seen a guy be more friendzoned than Xefros blushing on that deercat in my goddamn life. The fact that people are apparently complaining that that was ‘hetbait’ is hilarious, because Joey was the one with all the gay coding in this game, and she did NOT look interested that way. Just thought I’d say that too while I’m here. 

Jake Peralta: Stepdad!AU

So this was going to be an actual fic, but, alas, any sort of narrative wouldn’t come, so instead allow me to offer a series of (not at all canon-timeline compliant) headcanons about Amy Santiago’s tiny daughter taking Jake in as part of the family:

  • When Amy starts at the Nine-Nine, she is Very Adamant that Jake will never meet Maya, largely because a) He’s the worst, and b) Maya doesn’t need to see her mother curse out a fellow employee, but mostly c) He’s The Worst.
  • Except she only lasts twelve days, at which point Captain McGinley calls her in on her day off because he’s finally realized that his new detective has started and he wants to meet her, even though they have met four (4) times and he’s assigned two cases to her and Jake
    • It’s supposed to be a short meeting and she promises a very teary-eyed Maya that she’ll be real quick, but she needs to go in without Maya because McGinley looks like he might yell for some reason, Amy can just tell, and Sarge isn’t here and Amy barely knows anyone else and Jake offers, basically
    • Maya is just v. v. teary when Amy blows her a quick kiss before entering McGinley’s office
    • The meeting lasts exactly forty-seven minutes
    • Amy expects A Disaster when she gets out, or at the very least a very stressed-out Jake trying to pass her daughter off on someone else
    • But instead Maya is sitting in Jake’s lap with two of his superhero figurines gripped between her sweaty little hands, patiently telling a story while Jake writes on a piece of paper next to her
    • “And then there’s a dragon,” Maya says breathlessly, and Jake nods along patiently
    • “Fire-breathing or bearded?” he offers, and Maya really considers it for a moment before deciding on bearded. “Got it, I’ve jotted that down.”
    • “I thought no one was allowed to touch your dolls?” Amy asks when she gets to them, and she’s a little stressed out about this whole situation because Jake is suddenly, like, a kind person? Who’s been watching her daughter for forty-seven minutes and counting?
    • “Uh, obviously this is Red Metal Man and Mr. Star, okay.”
    • It’s not. It’s Iron Man and Captain America, and Amy can tell because she’s not totally out of the loop of the cultural zeitgeit, okay, and she sometimes pays attention to movie posters and has very definitely seen at least two of the superhero movies
    • “Plus I believe I said no Santiagos, and that was back before I knew there was a cool Santiago in the clan.”
    • Maya, meanwhile, has grabbed a pen off of Jake’s desk and is now leaning precariously over said desk and drawing on some of the large blank spaces Jake had left on the paper
    • And Amy realizes that Jake was writing down Maya’s story but made sure there was room so she could draw
    • Jake grins at her sheepishly, braces Maya with one hand on her back to make sure she doesn’t slip, and says, “It’s her vision, and she’s, like, a really good storyteller.”
    • Amy swoons, but in a low-key, subtle way. Probably.
    • Anyway, but Jake is also The Worst, so it doesn’t matter

Keep reading

This!!! This is the chance I’ve been looking for!!!

“So, even with everybody thinking you’re a bad ghost, you’re still gonna try to be the hero?”

“Well, somebody’s gotta. If not me, who’s gonna protect this town? Besides, it’s not like I can ignore a scream for help.”

I am so gonna talk about this boy I’ve been waiting for a good chance to talk about what a good, pure child he is and I am taking it now. Bless his heart I love him so much.

Let’s talk about Daniel James Fenton and why he deserves love and protection forever and always.

Keep reading

twitter

pairing: lin x reader

prompt: twitter war/their love story (told through twitter tho)

warnings: mentions of sex, swearing?

words: 1,528

a/n: bc i fell in love with hamilbye’s chicken nugget fic (no like seriously it’s the cutest thing i’ve read in my entire life this isn’t even half as good but i hope you like it anyways :)



February 22, 2016 - 7:40 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

I don’t understand how people can be so narrow-minded. The world is your oyster. Be open to different interpretations and explanations.

@Y/N:

Got berated by some dude with a ponytail today because I asked why Alexander Hamilton was on the $10

@Y/N:

But thank u for the history lesson. I thought he was our fourth president

@Y/N:

I’m not sure how I passed APUSH


March 30, 2016 - 11:09 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

I just saw a video of @Y/N singing a Regina Spector song at a concert and I don’t think I’ve ever been more in love in my life

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N pls be on the mixtape

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel: i don’t know enough about “the first secretary of treasury who happens to be a badass” and 20 more minutes of things that disqualifies me from this but thx!!

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N *finger guns*


You snickered to yourself at this. It’s not like you were actually pissed or anything. And you couldn’t deny that his play was amazing. He just was a little extra sometimes.


April 19, 2016 - 4:03 a.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

I’m tired someone help me

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel go to bed

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N wow1!!1!! Didn’t think of that one!!

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel you asked for help :)

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N how can I repay you for this great suggestion

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel an apology

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N what’d I do this time

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel for keeping me up

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N post notifs for bae?! <3 luv u

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel you wish. i’m writing new music about the “narrow-mindedness of some people”

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N what’s it called? “I got a 2 on the APUSH exam”?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel I’m leaning more towards “I rhymed sun with son


April 22, 2016 - 5:55 p.m.

@Y/N:

I’m ordering chinese food and I need an honest opinion on the chicken: sweet or sour?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N definitely sweet

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel wrong

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N IT’S AN OPINION


April 30, 2016 - 6:59 a.m.

@Lin_Miranda:

Thought I rode next to @Y/N on the subway this morning. It turned out to be a loud man

@Y/N:

Thought I saw @Lin_Miranda at the subway station yesterday. Turned out to be just a rat

@livelovelin:

@Y/N @Lin_Miranda this has progressed from silly flirting to relentless savagery and i’m concerned


May 1, 2016 - 12:09 p.m.

@hamiltonorsomething:

@Lin_Miranda what happened with u and @Y/N ?

@Lin_Miranda:

@hamiltonorsomething ask her!

@Y/N:

@hamiltonorsomething nothing he’s just annoying

@Lin_Miranda:

@Y/N @hamiltonorsomething I think you meant amazing, energetic, handsome, compassionate… shall I continue?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Miranda not unless you’re describing a dog

@hamiltonorsomething:

@Lin_Miranda @Y/N woOf


May 5, 2016 - 11:21 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

Found out @Y/N was at the show tonight. Care to explain?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel my best friend treated me with tickets for my birthday. It was her gag gift.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N did you thank her

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel yeah

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N is ur friend cute

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel yeah

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N am I cute

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel well…

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N :///////

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N did u like the show

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel yeah

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N did u get the flowers I sent to you office for your birthday

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel yeah :)

@hamforham:

@Lin_Miranda you bought @Y/N flowers??!!

@Lin_Miranda:

@hamforham @Y/N ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


May 23, 2016 - 7:03 a.m.

@Y/N:

I was doing a crossword puzzle and the clue was “snakelike fish” @Lin_Manuel any ideas? Three letters with an L…

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N sure! Are you positive it doesn’t happen to have the same about of letters as your name?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel, no. that was 4 down: long reigning queen.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N I thought that was 8 across: savage

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel how do u go from asshole to friend in .00293 seconds

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N (it’s probably eel)


July 4, 2016 - 7:08 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

Bit of a crazy fourth.
My aunt: That’s your 3rd plate
My sister: That’s your 3rd husband 

@Y/N

@Lin_Manuel: I SCREAMED

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N sounds like you in bed!

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel like you’d know that

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N um you have cooties…


August 8, 2016 - 5:09 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

I’m debating whether to wear the gold or the silver bow tie tonight. Gold is the color of winners, but silver is dashing.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel go with the silver and come second for a change

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N trust me, you’ll always come first in my heart

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N and literally

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel I’m avoiding you all night.


August 8, 2016 - 7:12 p.m.

@baldlin:

should i be concerned that there are no photos of @Lin_Manuel and @Y/N at the show yet

@Lin_Manuel:

@baldlin probably not. Seeing as she’s sitting next to me right now. (She looks really pretty. But don’t tell her I said that.)

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel I’m next to you, dork


August 11, 2016 - 8:05 p.m.

@Y/N:

I’m not sure whether to watch the Lion King or the Little Mermaid

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N you’re joking, right? The Little Mermaid is obvi the way to go

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel just bc you said that I’m gonna watch the Lion King

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N :(

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel I’ll watch the little mermaid with you a different day

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N how’s this weekend sound?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel did u just ask me on a date…
over twitter…
in front of all ur fans…

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N I mean we’ll have to sit on other sides of the room so I don’t catch your cooties but yeah

@Y/N: 

@Lin_Manuel text me the deets, dork


August 13, 2016 - 8:20 a.m.

@linterallyscreaming:

@Y/N how was the date with @Lin_Manuel ?

@Y/N:

@linternallyscreaming if I’m being honest… :) he’s the reason we have safety warnings on everything.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N @linternallyscreaming says the girl who literally broke my bed last night

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel THAT IS OUT OF CONTEXT


August 30, 2016 - 9:30 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N are you from France bc madamn

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel are you from Africa bc Kenya not


September 13, 2016 - 7:06 a.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

Good morning! 
Okay so @Y/N went home and then brought me back coffee this morning and she put salt in it instead of sugar. I’m still not sure if it was on purpose or not

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel next time it will be on purpose.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N next time just make it at my place.


September 15, 2016 - 2:02 a.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

People who make your heart smile are so important in the world


October 8, 2016 - 1:07 a.m.

@Y/N:

Okay so you know that feeling when you almost drop something but like rlly quick catch it and everyone is like OHHHH
You’re gonna find someone who makes you feel like that all the time


October 26, 2016 - 3:09 p.m. 

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N looks fire in her latest shoot

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel you have to say that we’re dating


October 30, 2016 - 6:47 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N wrote a song about you today

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel what’s it called

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N “she didn’t know APUSH but she knew me”


November 22, 2016 - 10:08 a.m.

@Y/N:

Just left @Lin_Manuel at the airport. His flight was at 8, I just didn’t want to leave him yet.


November 22, 2016 - 3:25 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N landed. Please don’t make me cry.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N too late

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N the security guard just asked if I was okay and I explained to him out lives for the past 40 minutes.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N it hasn’t even been 24 hours and life sucks without you.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel life sucks without u :’(

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N I love you

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel you’re okay

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel jk I love you too


November 29, 2016 - 9:06 p.m.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel wrote a song about you today

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N what’s it called

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel “I miss you please come home”

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N just started crying in the cab. I’ll be home soon.


December 3, 2016 - 8:56 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

I hope you all got your Hamilton Mixtape! It’s got some really talented people and so really cool stuff!

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel remember when you asked me to be on the mixtape

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N remember when you asked why Hamilton was on the ten dolla


December 7, 2016 - 4:51 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N picked me up at the airport with a dog in the backseat. I don’t know who I was more excited to see.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel I think we both know who you were more excited to see

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N the dog?


December 19, 2016 - 1:19 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

I’ve almost spoiled @Y/N ‘s Christmas gift four times. I need self control.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel tell me

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N DONT DO THIS TO ME


December 24, 2016 - 2:05 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

I don’t know if I’m more excited to have a girlfriend for Christmas because of the chance to kiss under the mistletoe

@Lin_Manuel:

(There is LOTS of mistletoe in our house)

@Lin_Manuel:

Or if because it means I get to eat extra cookie dough she’s baking rn


January 15, 2017 - 9:00 a.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

You’re so pretty I can’t look directly at you.
You’re an eclipse.
Good morning.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel i’m right next to you, dork

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N how’d I get so lucky

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel it was honestly the rant about Hamilton last year

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N love me anyways?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel love you always.

Would You Look At That

A/N: That photo of Shawn waiting in the check out line inspired this. Late night grocery store shopping + running into each other. 

Wow, I’m on a roll with fluff. Let’s see how long I keep this up. 

Feedback appreciated. Enjoy. 


You don’t know what possessed your roommate to drag you out of the comfort of your warm bed to go grocery shopping, yet there you are. The bright neon sign glares at you as you park and you can’t help but turn your head to do the same.

“Sonya, tell me again why we’re here at…11 o’clock at night?” You pull your phone out to check the time. Whatever she needed could wait until the morning.

“We literally have nothing for breakfast,” Sonya retorts. “We’re also out of toilet paper,” she confesses. You groan in annoyance, letting your head fall back onto the headrest.

“Alright, alright. I guess that couldn’t wait.” You can’t say you’re surprised, though. Both of you have been busy with school and work, so it’s simple to overlook necessities like food and toilet paper.

Sonya hustles towards the carts  to wrangle one. You can barely keep your eyes open until you step into the store and the the harsh florescent lights invade your vision.

Keep reading

La Douleur Exquise Pt 2 | Incubus!Yoongi AU

summary: in which you accidentally summon an incubus in the middle of your shitty apartment and he won’t leave until you agree to have sex with him. until then, min yoongi, incubus extraordinaire, is now your sexually promiscuous and grumpy roommate. aka, the incubus au no one fucking asked for.

warnings: lots of swearing, and some bondage and dom/sub!tones (uhh but not really? you’ll get it when you read it hhhh)

genre: fluff, angst, humor, smut

words: 5.8K

a/n: since it’s my 18th bday, i decided to upload this because it has my very first smut scene hhhh ok but it’s not really a smut scene (you’ll understand when you read) and i wanted to celebrate by posting this today!! hope you enjoy~

➵  part 1 // part 2 (you’re here!) // part 3 (coming soon!)


Yoongi supposed, for all intents and purposes, that tonight could not have gone any better in his opinion.

He never took you for the type who would be into bondage and orgasm denial, but who was he to deny a lovely lady’s request? Even more so, a beautiful lady who was currently begging for his touch, or so at least that was what he assumed you were saying through the mouth gag he had placed on you.

“What was that, princess? You want me to touch you?” He smirked, his long fingers barely grazing the top of your soaked white panties. You only groaned through the gag; your hips jerked up reflexively, attempting to chase the touch of his fleeing fingers. Your eyes were teary from pent up arousal, having been denied your orgasm at least three times in the last two hours. But oh, did you love it.

Who would have thought that the fiery, sarcastic girl who summoned him two weeks ago could be such a fine submissive?

Keep reading

SnK - AoT New Ending Analyze!

Cause that is my favorite thing to do.

But first, a little warning if you are an anime only fan!

Originally posted by ithelpstodream

Major manga spoilers.

You know what to do better than me.

Scroll down, this post does not exist for you.

For others, guess who screenshotted every single scene of new ending and meta all the way?

Keep reading

Daddy Issues

Pairing: JungKook & Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Summary: A top student, marks always high. College was not a dream for her…Except she didn’t have enough money. Her parents never earned much so they literally took care of themselves. Her boss acting as a dick towards her she quited her job. Even though she had no idea what she let herself into this was her only option.

Other Chapters:  2  -  3  -  4 - 5 - 6 - 7

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Crawling Chaos - Part Two - Void Stiles

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Characters: Void Stiles/Reader

Word Count: 5,687

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Oral (both receiving), masturbation, bondage, biting, daddy kink, literally 90% of this is PURE FILTH

Notes: I had no restraint on this. Y’all can blame @minhosmeanhoe for literally demanding this from me, and giving me things to add to this because we would just talk about everything kinky with Void. Lemme know your thoughts!

Part 1  Part 3

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whiterose-blackrose  asked:

Austisic!Peter and MJ. MJ knows Peter's autistic because of all the subtle things he does. Like, she's super observant and stuff so she knows when he's getting overstimulated or when he needs something to stim with. She doesn't mention it, but she has a shit ton of stim toys and super soft pieces of fabric in her bag (under all the books to kinda hide them). I love the idea that she knows he's Spiderman and she always gives Spider-Man something to stim with if she sees him.

the first time mj notices it is during their sophomore year of high school, when she’s watching him during band practice. she watches everyone, sometimes to draw them, sometimes so she can mimic them, sometimes just bc she feels like it. but she likes watching peter the most. he makes her head calm down a bit, like how it does when she listens to music or when she opens a brand new hardcover book.

he’s sitting there holding his triangle (what a nerd, who plays the triangle) looking focused on when exactly he should ring it. he’s tense all the time lately, and he’s always pulling ned aside to talk about “big bird” whoever that is. but then suddenly flash comes up behind him and plays the trumpet directly into peter’s ear. anyone would jump at that, and peter definitely jumps. but what catches mj’s eye is what happens when everyone is laughing, when peter sits down and people kind of stop focusing on him. he drops his triangle down and shakes out his wrist, he quickly hits his hand to the side of his head and closes his eyes really tightly.

it’s a familiar thing to look at. mj doesn’t hit herself, but she gets that urge sometimes when she’s trying to keep her meltdown at bay. when she can feel the sensory overload and the overstimulation trying to take her over and she wants to push it back down, and sometimes she’ll feel herself wanting to physically hit it.

she goes back to reading, but she only really begins paying attention to the plot of the book once peter appeared to calm down. then she felt calm again too. before they go she slips one of her stim toys into peter’s bag when he’s up putting away the triangle, and she doesn’t say anything when she sees him quietly playing with it the next day.

the second time she notices is late into their sophomore year towards the beginning of summer vacation. peter is sitting on the subway after class, probably on his way home. he’s seemed happier lately, it radiates off of him. apparently he got his stark internship back, and he’s even regularly coming to decathlon practice again. mj tells herself that she only cares about his decathlon attendance, she is the captain after all.

mj is sat behind him on the subway and she hears him muttering to himself. again, this is normal for anybody to do. but he’s writing in his notebook, and he’s making funny sounds. she peers over his shoulder and sees a bunch of formulas and spider doodles and science jargon and then leans back into her seat.

peter loves science. LOVES science. everybody knows that. they all go to a science school, but peter’s the only one she really knows who actually gets dreamy eyes when he talks about astrophysics and chemistry, and he can talk about it for hours. literally, hours. and right now it’s clear that his love for science is standing strong, he’s in his own little world right now. mj can hear him making happy squeaks and it feels familiar.

when she finds herself delighted she usually makes noises, happy trills and squeaks. neurotypical people give her funny looks when that happens, it’s annoying and rains on her parade. it isn’t as if she can even help it, and she doesn’t understand why it’s so weird. she tries to keep those noises in, but they still come out when she reads a particularly good passage in a book. and that seems to be what’s happening to peter. his shoulders tense everytime a happy warbled squeak comes out, and he begins scribbling more furiously into his notepad

he looks over his shoulder to see if anyone’s heard him and then startles when he sees mj sitting there. she raises her eyebrow at him and he blushes and turns around, and she can see him begin to bounce slightly in his seat.

mj goes back to reading but in the back of her head she feels things popping up. spider doodles in peter’s notebook. talking about a big bird with ned. dropping out of all his extracurricular besides decathlon. the whole incident in washington DC. she doesn’t know why she’s thinking about it, or why she knows that it’s all related. or even how she knows it’s related. she just chooses to read instead. if she slips another stim toy into peter’s bag, well, that’s out of her control.

the third time mj notices is during the summer. and it isn’t really with peter, at least not the peter he wants her to know about.

she’s at a small shop at around eleven at night, dressed in pajamas with her bag slung over her shoulder and a pack of hot cheetos in her hand. and then suddenly the shop is being robbed, and a gun is being pointed at her face. and her mind disconnects. her head is equal parts chaos and calm, thoughts are rushing around her brain but they’re going so quickly that it almost feels as if there are none. of course this is how she’s gonna die. of course she’s gonna fucking die in a corner shop at 11:07 pm in her flannel pajamas all because she wanted a bag of hot cheetos. of course that’s –

“you and i have to stop meeting like this,” peter chimes in, swinging into the shop and kicking the robber in the face. the gun falls onto the floor. “oh, my bad, you aren’t the criminal i thought you were. you guys really need to stop wearing masks, i can’t tell you apart.”

but oh wait. that isn’t peter. that’s spider-man. but that’s definitely peter’s voice. huh.

mj breaks herself out of her head and runs towards the gun on the ground just as the robber reaches for it, and she stomps onto his hand before he can grab it. the guy screams and mj just shoves her boot harder onto his hand.

“we make a great team!” spider-man cheers, shooting some webbing onto the guy’s legs

a few quips and thwips later and the robber is being seated into the back of a cop car. mj is sitting on the curb of the sidewalk munching away on some hot cheetos. and spider-man is walking up to her.

“you okay?” he asked, voice strained tightly.

“mhm,” mj hums. she’s pretty sure that she’s okay. time will tell. “are you?”

spidey startles. “of course i am, it’s my job, i love this stuff!”

“just because it’s your job, and just because you like it, doesn’t mean you’re okay.”

spidey kind of shrugs at that and sits down next to her on the curb. “i’m okay, just a bit shook up. he had a gun pointed at your head.”

“yeah,” mj sighs. “want a cheeto?”

they sit in a comfortable silence while they share the bag of cheetos, neither really wanting to talk but neither really wanting to leave each other. mj notices that spidey keeps shaking out his wrist, keeps bringing his hand up to his face to tap harshly at the lenses of his mask. she reaches into her bag.

“here,” she says, shoving a stim toy into his hand. “this one can be chewed on and pulled apart, it’s really neat. don’t worry, i haven’t chewed on it at all so you’re good to go.”

spidey gawks at her, mouth falling open. his lips are really red from the snacks. “um…. thanks. do you give these to everyone?”

mj pops another cheeto into her mouth and chews quickly. “nah, just you.”

spidey leans against her side and begins to aggressively pull on the toy. “thanks, mj.”

she decides not to point out that she never gave him her name.

Huntress in the Snow

What if Rhys had met Feyre back when she was still a little girl, alone in the woods and hunting for her family? Inspired by this beautiful work of art, here’s the hypothetical meeting between an abused, tired Rhysand and a tiny Feyre.

 

Rhysand rarely leaves Amarantha’s court Under the Mountain.

He rarely leaves her bedroom, for that matter. Life is just a frenzy of lies, sex, dancing, drinking, hatred and torture these days and he has long given up on making his existence bearable. He doesn’t really care anymore.

He doesn’t care for the stares they give him, the names. He doesn’t care for those pitying glances. He doesn’t care when Amarantha is straddling him, using him, her fingers pulling his hair.

Spring Court is covered in masks right now, but Rhysand might as well be wearing one, too. He doesn’t recognize himself in the mirror anymore. He murmurs things in her ears, he lies, promises, he kills on her behalf, he smirks and laughs and betrays, and he isn’t sure he can ever get back from that.

He’s doing it for Velaris and his beloved ones. That is what he tells himself, over and over and over again, when he’s buried inside her or when he snaps someone’s neck. It’s the only reason he’s still holding on. Velaris. Mor. Amren. His brothers. His court.

Court of Dreams. It’s like a bitter joke, ashes in his mouth. He doesn’t know if he will ever see them again. Doesn’t know if he wants to- after what he’s done.  

He probably won’t ever see them again. This nightmare will never end.

Life is miserable. Rhys doesn’t care.

With the way things are developing right now, his old enemy Tamlin is going to join them in a few years- 42 years have passed and that fool, that idiotic fool hasn’t managed to break the curse. If he realizes that he could save them all, Rhysand doesn’t know. Perhaps Tamlin is just trying to protect those he loves as well. Perhaps he’s trying- perhaps he’s fighting.

Perhaps he’s not.

Rhysand doesn’t care.

He also doesn’t care that Amarantha sends him to the human realm today. To find a group of fae from Dawn Court that have escaped; find them, bring them to her, watch her torture and kill them and fuck her afterwards. It’s nothing to him. He’ll play his part. He’ll be urgent and passionate- I’ve been aching for you, my queen, my everything, woman of my dreams- only you, only ever you- he’ll make her scream his name and kiss her afterwards.

All the while, he’ll be somewhere else. He’ll be talking to Amren, quietly. He’ll be drinking with Cass and Azriel, playing cards. He’ll be dancing with Mor. He’ll be walking through the streets of Velaris.

That’s the only thing he has. And even those memories are further and further away from him with each passing day. Rhysand is afraid that he’ll wake up some morning and find that there’s no fight left inside him- that he’ll just give up.

He looks around.

He’s in a forest, close to the wall. It’s spring, but snow still covers the trees and the ground. He will encounter no humans here- none of them would be so foolish, so daring to get this close to the wall. He sits down next to a stream, closes his eyes and just doesn’t think. A few, scattered moments of peace- he takes what he gets.

Just a few moments. Then he’ll hunt those poor bastards down.

Feyre is twelve, and she’s been roaming this forest for a year now. She’s been following the village’s hunters; copy the way they set their snarls, carry their bows. She has a dream: she’ll hunt so much food her father will get better again. Nesta and Elain will get fatter, rounder, and they will both find very handsome men to marry. Then it’ll be Feyre and her father, and she’ll hunt for him while he reads at home, and in the evening, she’ll cook for him and paint a little.

So far, she hasn’t ever shot anything bigger than a rabbit, and that one time was on accident. The snarls are what works better.

Nesta turned fifteen yesterday. Feyre knows her sister has hoped their father would say something, but he has forgotten all of their birthdays. Nesta has looked like murder all day long. Elain tried to talk to her, but she locked herself in their room.

Elain and Nesta are very sad, Feyre knows that. They remember more of their mother and they talk about her sometimes, exchanging bits and pieces of who she used to be. In the beginning, right after they moved into the little hut at the village’s edge, they tried to be there for her- but they have too much to worry about, now. They never even play with each other. They don’t thank her when she brings food home.

Feyre makes her way through the trees. She must always stay away from the wall- dangerous creatures are there, fae. She’s so afraid of them she has nightmares sometimes.

But today, some inner voice tells her that the wall is not dangerous. That no fae will hurt her. And almost by themselves, their feet make her walk closer and closer to the buzzing, invisible thing that separates their human world from the fae.

When she comes onto a clearing, she sees a man. He is sitting on a fallen tree branch next to a river and his head his lowered, almost as if he were praying. He doesn’t carry weapons, but his clothes are fine and elegant- he must be a rich merchant, lost in the woods.

Perhaps she’ll get a reward if she leads him out of here. Curiosity gets the better of her. “Are you okay?”, she calls over to him, and that is the exact same moment he looks up and meets her eyes.

It knocks the breath out of her. He’s a fae. His ears are long and pointed, and there is something otherworldly in his features that marks him as different.

This is it. She is going to die. Nesta and Elain and her father will starve because she’s not there anymore. How could she be so careless, hunting so close to the wall?

The man takes in her unwashed hair, her threadbare clothes, her make-shift bow. “You should not be here”, he rasps. “You should run.”

Feyre tries to be a still as she can be. The man doesn’t get up, doesn’t come closer. As if he knows that she’ll start screaming if he does.

“Go”, he commands, angry. “Don’t ever come here again. Understand me? Don’t go into the forest at all. Stay at home.”

And she should do just that, run until she’s far away from him, but…

“I have to”, Feyre says. “I have to hunt.”

“No, you don’t. A small girl like you should stay with her family.”

“You don’t understand.” She steps closer, her bow still ready in her hand. “My family will starve if I don’t. I am doing all of this for them.”

The man breathes in, sharply, and she swears that she sees devastation in his eyes. “What?”

“My father can’t take care of us.” Why the words are spilling from her mouth like that, Feyre doesn’t know. “And my sisters are scared. I have to be strong, even when I’m afraid- for them.”

The man stares at her.

“Are you going to hurt me?”, Feyre asks. She tries to hide that she is scared of that fae. She tries to pretend that she could shoot him, if she wanted.

He shakes his head, slowly. “Of course not.”

“What are you doing here, then? Shouldn’t fae be on the other side of the wall?”

The man smiles a bitter smile. “Usually, we should. But I…was allowed a little freedom today.”

“Are you a hunter, too?”

He closes his eyes. “I suppose.”

“Then you’re a little bit like me.”

“Well.” He laughs. “Not really. But I am doing this for my family, too. All of this.”

Feyre doesn’t know why, but for some strange reason, it makes her very happy that the man has a family. That he’s not alone.

“That’s good”, she smiles. “You should go be with them, not sit in the forest by yourself.”

He nods. “You’re right, of course. As should you.”

Feyre steps as close to him as she dares. The fae is very pretty, she realizes. All the older village girls would probably be in love with him. But he looks sad, she thinks, and she doesn’t know why, but it makes her heart ache a little. She wants him smiling.

“Here.” The fae nods his head and suddenly, a basket filled with bread and meat appears in the snow. “Take that home to your family. It should give you enough food to eat for the next few weeks. I can’t- I wish I could do more. But my hands are quite literally tied.”

“Is this some sort of trick?”, Feyre asks. “Some bargain? Some fairy magic?”

The fae shakes his head, a flicker of amusement on his face. “No bargain, little girl. Although I’m impressed you’re already so wary for your age.”

Feyre picks up the basket. This is better than the time she shot the rabbit. This is all of her birthdays combined. “Thank you- what’s your name?”

“Rhys”, he says, looking at his hands. “That’s what my friends call me.”

“That family you told me about?”

“Yes”, Rhys says softly. “My family.”

Feyre smiles at him. It comes so easy, the smile- because something deep inside her core tells her that she doesn’t need to be afraid of him. And she trusts that. “Thank you, Rhys. Your family is lucky to have you. You just saved mine today.”

He still looks so very sad. “Then that’s something”, he says hoarsely. “Before you go- one thing.”

And suddenly there are talons in her head, and she can’t move anymore.

“It’ll be over in a few moments”, Rhys says. “But I can’t let you remember me. She’ll find out, somehow. She’ll break you just for fun.”

Some white blanket is thrown over her mind, and the next second, Feyre finds herself alone in the woods.

What just happened? Why is she here?

Oh, yes- she remembers- the rich merchant who she met on her way here showed mercy and handed her the basket-

What on earth is she doing so close to the wall?

Feyre turns around and runs. Today is such a good day. She feels happy, not just because of the gift…but because of something else.

And maybe she can get through all of this.

Maybe she’ll find a way out of this someday.  

Rhys has never done something like this, but he forces himself to forget her. He pushes her image into the very, very back of his mind, he uses his magic on himself and forces himself to forget about that girl in the snow, that tiny, little huntress.

Because for some reason, he knows that she is important. For what, he doesn’t know. But he’ll do what it takes to keep her hidden from Amarantha.  

It makes him cry out in pain to use those talons on himself, but-

Rhys finds himself standing somewhere in the forest.

Why is he still here? He should go- hunt those Dawn fae down.

There’s a weird feeling of goodness in the back of his mind. Of happiness. And he remembers- that those he loves are out there. That somehow, someday, he’ll see them again. That there is a reason for everything.

He feels hope, and he doesn’t know why.

I have to be strong, even when I’m afraid- for them, whispers a voice inside his head. He knows who said it-

A girl-

He can’t remember. But that feeling lingers.

That night, when Amarantha is on top of him, moving and moaning about how good this feels after a kill, all he can think is the clock is ticking, you bitch. You’ll go down soon. Someone will come and end you.

When she leaves him, he showers and washes her scent off him. Someone is out there, he thinks. Someone good. This world is not completely lost. And for some reason, he cares again. Cares about what happens. Cares about who wins. Suddenly, he wants to fight.

That night, he has the strangest dream. It’s a hand, unpacking a basket full of bread, apples and meat. A small hand; a child’s hands. But it makes him so inexplicably happy he thinks about that dream for days.

A few years later, when Rhysand has long forgotten about everything, he dreams of that same hand again.

Only this time that delicate, female hand is drawing flowers on a table.

And something inside Rhysand whispers, soon.

Soon.

Soon.

Death Note Live Watch Reaction

-*Special Note: HOLY SHIT, this movie is bad

-We are in Seattle. Okay. Sure, why not?

- Anyone else notice how Light is like doing middle school homework in high school? No really, I was doing logarithms in my sophomore year. Sure, I was in honors classes, but come on?

- Light Yagami had a super sense towards the law. He would not be doing other kid’s homework for money. Sorry, but you already screwed up this character with the opening fucking scene.

-Like I am trying. I really am.

-Why does this movie have this 70s high school feel…in 2017? No really, who the fuck cares about cheerleaders and jocks anymore in school? The cool kids now are the fucking prepsters who get good grades and shit or the mopey losers on instagram.

–Oh please tell me that this hot topic heffa is not supposed to be Misa?

-Misa Amane was gothic. Not emo. Fuck….

- Also Misa was a fucking super model. She is not some ordinary white girl. She is headturningly beautiful. I am not taking away from the actress because she is attractive in that ordinary white girl across the street type of way, but no.

-Oh god, I hate the music. This is what DmC did to Devil May Cry. This is so bad. Like Death Note had ominous chanting to death metal. Not soem 80s syth pop.

- The music does not match!

-No one sees a book falling from the sky in the open? Okay.

- I get that everyone else heads inside, but why would football players? I mean it is just rain and as far I’ve seen, Football players play in the rain, snow, sleet, or hail. Even high school. Then again, I went to a school with a highly competive football team so yeah.

-The bully? I don’t know if this movie knows what schools are like now and days. Bullies are few and far in between in that make. People resort to passive aggressiveness now or cyberbullying.

- Flash Thompson in Spider-man: Homecoming is today’s type of bully. Whoever this Biff looking motherfucker is a thing of the past.

- Misa(if that is even her name) has some stupid lines. Like you are such a stupid fuck? Really? stupid fuck? Alright.

-HEY DON’t TOUCH HER! Fuck, Light, why are you screaming? They just pushed the girl. They didn’t fucking impale her or beat her up. The fuck?

-Also Light Yagami, is a misogynist who thinks women are useless and get in his way. He would step in the way to save Misa from a bully, yes, but he would not be super abrasive about it or psycho.

-They really do not get Light Yagami at all. He is not a bullied character. If Light were the one stepping up to Biff from Back to the Future, Light would immediately threaten to go to the authority(in this case adults) or talk the guy down while being impossibly smug. He would not taunt the guy out loud. And the guy would not be in Light’s face taunting him because Light is, wait for it….one of the popular kids. Yes. Light is that asshole prep kid who has the future lined up for him. He is brilliant, and smart, and pretty, and all those things women love him for and why men want to be him. They fucked this movie up from the get go.

-Threatening child abuse? Really Light? Okay

-I am trying. I really am.

- White Yagami: I was beat up and you are worried that I threatened the academic integrity of school. You should pay attention to people who make life worse for everybody, principal, and not the guy is cheats for people.

- Thank you, principal for not buying into his bullshit.

- Boo-hoo, I was not rewarded for being a male savior.

-I stopped trying btw.

- The dialogue is soooo bad. “Hey I was awake…I was a tree or something?” What? Even? Ugh?

- Well White Yagami is the type of white boy who investigates the danger in horror movies. 

-Okay, that scream will great. LMAO

-This home boy literally shrieked!

- He is really losing his shit. OMG.

- Ryuk is fucking wasteful. That is a whole lot of apple that is not eaten. 

- White Yagami is so fucking crass. Everybody is dropping f-bombs like it is the biggest word they know.

-Ryuk sounds like Ryuk.

- Ryuk is tempting White Yagami to write in the Death Note? Oh God!

- Did these assholes even see Death Note? I really have to ask because ugh!

- This is the first 10 minutes, and I can’t even. 

- Look, what made Light so special is that when Ryuk dropped the Death Note, he wanted to see what would happen. He thought someone who picked up the Death Note would just write someone’s name out of curiosity or even do some revenge kills because that is what people do. So when he tracks down Light and sees that he, after testing the Death Note out, filled out entire pages, he was shocked. Light did not need any push to start killing. He already had it in him.

- Like Ryuk is actually encouraging him? Are they exonerating Light in this movie?

-Like no?

- When did Death Note become fucking final destination?

-…You know what? Fuck this movie.I am not going to subject myself to this shit. I love myself too much to watch this and that is saying something because I have severe clinical depression.

-ten minutes in and I am done.

Bear: Stuart Twombly x Reader

Pairing: Stuart Twombly x Reader 

 A/N: This is my first reader insert. This is also the first smut that I’ve done on here so bear with me. I also feel like the story line was all over the place, so I apologize in advance. Also, I apologize for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes as I’ve procrastinated really hard on this, starting this in like early April and not finishing it until 1:30 in the morning today, and I am way too tired to proof read. 

@writing-obrien

Warning: NSFW 18+

Word count: 4,814

 ~~~


Originally posted by prettiestcaptain

Stuart’s POV 

 How do you deal with having a crush on the hottest girl in the office? Be a complete asshole and ignore her all the time, of course. Admittedly not my best decision, but it’s kept me from fucking her in front our co-workers, so that’s something, right? And I can’t help it. It’s not my fault that she could literally be wearing a paper bag and I’d still get a hard on. The way her jeans hug her curves and the shirts that make her look sophisticated, yet sexy at the same time. Or when she wears these cute little sun-dresses and sandals that make her legs look amazing. It can make any man fall to his knees. And to make matters worse, I was her supervisor. 

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anonymous asked:

I love reading what you have to say about anything in general (dan and phil, politics, your work day [even in passing]) and idk I just wanted to say hi + ask what you have to say about their new gaming video? I loved it, they were so (insert a multitude of different positive adjectives) and Phil is such a broad thinker it's amazing. I think (im pretty sure) you loved it as well and I just wanna read your thoughts, hahaha thanks!

can you hear that? it’s the sound of me screaming because i have to rewrite the entirety of this ramble after tumblr DELETED IT THE FIRST TIME ifjaoiwejraoiejroaeir. but YES oh my god. i did love this video. a lot. there’s so, so much to talk about. grab a fkn snack mate, bc this is super long. 

1. there’s been a lot of discourse about dan and phil’s interaction in this video. i received a handful of messages regarding dan’s apparently aggressive treatment of phil and one regarding the way people were apparently abusing phil in the comments under the video and calling him “stupid and untalented.” um. okay so i’ll work backwards. i have watched the video three times now. all three times i scrolled really deep into the comments. NONE of those times did i see a single comment that was insulting or demeaning to phil. where are people seeing this? i feel like this is a classic case of one or two people saying something happened and then everyone repeating it without actually checking the source. if anything, the yt comments are full of people saying firstly that phil is “too creative” for this game and has a fascinating mind, and, secondly, that he’s a full-grown man who doesn’t need the protection of his fans from dan of all people, the so-called aggressive bully in this scenario, who just so happens to also be his best friend and life partner. i definitely agree with that latter point.

something else that’s been lost in this discussion and that seems extremely relevant is that a lot of this video’s central dynamic, with dan being shocked and appalled at phil’s seemingly abysmal drawing skills and phil doing the absolute most in every drawing, felt really, really put on or exaggerated for dramatic/comedic effect. i think the very first instance of it, when phil draws his fucked up umbrella, and dan just sort of jokes about it looking like a palm tree for a while and then at the end just says like a few words about how extreme phil’s interpretation was—i think this was a super authentic interaction. but i also think they quickly gathered with the drawings that followed that it would be really funny to ham it up for the sake of comedy and that’s why phil’s drawings seemed to get intentionally more and more “creative,” so to speak, while dan’s responses got correspondingly more and more extreme and high-pitched and shriek-y until basically everyone’s eardrums were bleeding. i get why the video was grating to some people bc like,,, this shit can get tiring to watch when it seems so extra. but personally i found it very funny… especially bc of my next point.

this narrative around phil being some sort of unappreciated creative genius who was constantly being berated in this video by his callous friend and just sadly tolerated all of this abuse is not only annoying bc it infantilizes phil but also because it’s just … wrong? and overlooks two of my fav things about the video which were how supportive and ENCOURAGING dan was, even while he was trying to exaggerate his “holy shit phil how are you so bad” thing, and simultaneously, how assertive and opinionated and sassy (i hate that word but literally don’t know a better one to describe him in this vid) phil was the whole time. to the first point, i don’t think there was a single one of phil’s turns in which dan wasn’t passionately yelling saying something like ‘come on phil. you can do this’ and also giving him recommendations on how best he should draw the object to get the point. even when he was in the middle of screaming about how bad phil was, he seemed to occasionally rein it in with a compliment to balance it out. for instance, during phil’s lobster drawing, he did the whole ‘what the fuck even is that’ for a while and then immediately had to dilute it by saying something like, “okay but by the end i could totally tell they were claws.” or when phil very reasonably points out that he’s using his wrong hand which is why he’s struggling, dan immediately agrees and repeats it as if for emphasis: “they’re not using their wrong hand to be fair.” and he even calls himself out about this, with the usual “WHY AM I HELPING YOU???” i honestly read dan as wanting to go to his default mode of supporting phil and celebrating his lateral/creative thinking (reminiscent of when he did this in the impossible quiz) the whole time, but then also needing to keep the comedy going by acting so confounded by phil’s inability to draw simple objects. as mentioned however, phil does not respond in the typical amazingphil™ way to all of the taunting. whereas in 2014-15 era dapg bants, he tended to just remain docile while dan would make his ‘what the fuck are you on about’ comments regarding phil’s weird sexual innuendoes or whatever else, in this video phil was anything but docile. he was in fact quite consistent in giving his own opinionated statements/retorts. just an abbreviated list:

  • the bit where he names the robot bianca and dan immediately objects and phil basically goes, yes. i named it. deal with it. hoe.
  • when they’re looking at other people’s umbrella drawings and he goes “oh shut up. look at you with your perfect umbrellas” in the sneeriest voice known to humankind
  • when dan is making fun of him pretty intensely and phil actually adamantly defends himself and says, “put me under pressure, and i can’t do things.” doesn’t seem like someone who’s just submissively accepting dan’s mockery. he’s explaining why it was hard for him.
  • “look at arty jim down here” damn. arty jim got fuckin rekt  
  • “how is ‘lobster’ easy ???? ?  i mean what the hell,” again in the sneeriest voice i’ve heard
  • his absolute disgust that dan got elbow so easily, and the way he proceeds to shove dan and threatens to “elbow [him] in the face.” like damn. he fightin back
  • when he’s like ‘i don’t  even do anything with this hand’ and flops his left hand around i s2g he is trying to sneak in a cheeky sexual innuendo and slyly allude to wanking in the way that he does best and DAN DOESNT HEAR HIM THE FIRST TIME bc he’s talking and phil just stares at him while he flops his hand around and repeats “i don’t even use this hand it’s a dead weight” and dan absolutely doesn’t take the bait. oh my god. phil intentionally trying to annoy dan with innuendoes, and checking to see if he gets it,,,, that is the shit i live for
  • ‘all or nothing on the zebra’ cheeky laugh. damn.
  • the way he’s like ‘just shut up then’ to dan as he begins drawing the zebra. because he’s not taking dan’s shit
  • etc etc etc

and i firmly believe phil was HOLDING BACK in this!!!! !! ! and was still at least partially constrained by/aware of the camera and his usual role as the quieter, gentler foil to dan’s hysteria and melodramatics. so like. just imagine how much more assertive he is when the camera isn’t on. i don’t think any of y’all need to be worried in any way about phil’s ability to handle everything dan dishes out bc i think he’s happily returning it in full measure.

2. on a similar but somewhat unrelated note, phil spent a lot of time in this video sitting patiently while dan went on some truly remarkable monologues and i thought it was noteworthy, mostly in that phil just couldn’t stop looking at dan in apparent adoration even while he was being a dramatic child. i felt like the staring was much less guarded than phil tends to be—he’s usually so aware of the camera and consciously tries to maintain eye contact with the audience as much as possible, but there were just a few moments in this where i was surprised by how long he let himself just watch dan. 

during dan’s first ‘artsy vs. creative’ monologue:

during dan’s random ass screaming about a raccoon idek:

during dan’s second ‘artsy vs. creative’ monologue:

phil was p captivated. and these def are moments where he’s looking at dan for longer than usual, not just one-off instances of the most fleeting glances that i screenshotted for effect. i promise. 

3. there were some like,,, incredible exchanges during this vid that i specifically want to analyze.

first, the ‘dabble with a robot’ bit at the beginning when dan tries to get phil to admit that he’s making an innuendo and phil won’t do it. i loved this so much. i don’t even have anything much to say other than dan is trying to kill the innocent!phil trope so hard and it’s so funny to me. also. phil was def talking about robot sex. and right after he says dabble the first time, there’s this really obvious jump cut and the immediate frame following it is THIS:

and i just NEED TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF DIRTY ROBOT SEX COMMENT THEY CUT OUT. ugh.

second: ‘i think bianca has a crush on you and she’s mistreating me.’ let’s unpack this. because at first i was just like oh so some inanimate object with a vaguely female voice is showing a potential preference or softness for dan, and phil immediately thinks that she’s crushing on him. and that’s interesting in itself because it’s a surprising leap to make, tbh, and i would never expect phil to say it. but then the second bit, ‘and she’s mistreating me,’ stated as a completely natural follow-up thought. i initially didn’t even pay any mind to this bc like ok whatever he’s whining about not getting his point. but like. think about it for a second. in what context would someone who has a crush on dan mistreat phil other than jealousy or irritation due to the fact that phil is the reason dan is romantically unavailable? like honestly??? ? a platonic interpretation of that comment doesn’t even exist. ‘x has a crush on you and they’re mistreating me’ is literally only a thing someone would say to their significant other. tbh.

third, and my personal fav: the convo after phil ‘cheats’ or pushes dan’s arm while he’s drawing the spoon. just every bit of it. the way that dan leans in on his second repeat of ‘how would you do it then.’ the way that phil completely drops his on-camera voice when he says, ‘no we’re not doing best of three, we’re doing three rounds. it’s 4-2 right now.’ it’s the most natural voice ever, as though he immediately assumes this convo won’t be left in the video. and i imagine a lot of their behind the scenes negotiation as they film for dapg, regarding how things will be scored/structured, happens like this. as in, without some sort of CUT CUT PAUSE interjection to break the filming, but rather just a noticeable shift in tone to demonstrate to each other that they’re saying something that should be cut out in editing. to me, this is just completely reaffirmed by the amount of eye contact that immediately follows phil talking about the score. here’s an amazing gifset of it, which i need all of yall to click and look at, to really get what i’m saying here. and here’s my own screenshot bc y not:

it feels like phil definitely is trying to just have a conversation with dan to figure how they should proceed but dan is still performing a bit, and hamming up his exasperation for the camera when he says, ‘best of three, that would mean i win.’ phil then catches on, drops some of his softness and his natural voice, and immediately looks back to the camera. just. such a good, revealing little exchange. and as soon as the little natural moment is broken, phil immediately defaults back into the sassiness that he’s been demonstrating the whole video by saying, ‘i’m not! i’m just having so much fun,” in like. the world’s most sarcastic voice. then dan chiming in with the requisite fond “this guy” followed by “he’s so sneaky, can you imagine playing monopoly with him?” and that’s interesting too bc it’s dan ~breaking the fourth wall~ more explicitly and talking directly to us, and specifically to this section of his audience that has been voraciously demanding they play board games. he knows he’s being cute and domestic or whatever but at the same time it seems like he’s been genuinely a bit insecure about so overtly denying the audience something they’ve been asking for for so long, which is why he keeps bringing it up and trying to justify it in various ways–by explaining that it would be boring (as he said in his live show) or that it’d end badly (as he said on twitter and now in this video).

wow. just such a good and unexpectedly thought-provoking video. i loved it and genuinely laughed a lot even though the bants were so dramatic and overdone. they were having so much fun the whole time, in my opinion, and that, coupled with their continued lower boundaries regarding on-camera mannerisms, eye contact, touching, etc. seem to be the running themes of post-baking universe dapg. excited to see how these things develop over the course of the year! and also just so excited to see that they are actually carrying forward and sticking to their perceived re-commitment to the gaming channel that happened with gamingmas. they’re really making an effort to film in advance and post way more regularly than we’ve been used to, despite “life things” that are happening. they’re working hard to show us that they care deeply about this channel still and it’s just so uplifting to see that, and to be reminded with each video that they also have so much fun together, always :’)

(dan vs. phil: quick draw)

12x22: Dean Winchester is going to die

Well, when I was new, I wrote a whole post about this, about how early episodes but especially 12x11 foreshadowed that Performing!Dean was going to be deconstructed by the end of the season… Fans self.

The death of Performing!Dean in this episode was BEAUTIFUL. It was EXQUISITE. I couldn’t have asked for MORE! 

I literally grabbed and punched @amwritingmeta in the leg I don't know how many times as I paused it to point and shout.

1. The Grenade Launcher

So, the grenade launcher = performing!Dean metaphor. We had hoped and boy did they deliver! Did anyone else notice, while Dean was *ahem* knocking down the seemingly unpenetrable physical walls, that, maybe it was my weird link, but it seemed to me that the flashing ‘red’ lights in the MoL bunker were decidedly pinky-purpley in colour rather than standard alarm bells red and the flashlights glowed on the blue side of white… (the MoL HQ lights are also brightly pinky-purple to keep the theme going, I mean honestly what self respecting 1950s MoL guy chose this for the bunker instead of the usual red? Please!) Just saying. 

Originally posted by ohh-bloodyhell

“It wasn’t long ago I thought we had it made. We had Cas back, we had mom back. I mean it wasn’t perfect but still…”.  This is it. Dean’s facade has been coming down all season, but at this point now, he just doesn’t see the point in holding it up anymore.

And what does Sam do? HE OPENS UP TO DEAN. He tells Dean how he feels, the reasons why he followed the MoL - that it was “easier than leading”, that he made a mistake. This enables Dean to be truthful himself, in the end, now. Again, they have had many times to reflect on their own deaths but this is another time similar to 11x23 where he can really reflect on what he has lost, and now what is that? Cas and Mary.

Dean uses the grenade launcher, that he’s been dying to do since forever, blows down the impenetrable seeming wall, saves the day. How meta do we need to go? It’s BLATANT. The choice in the colour of the lights, the dialogue, his feelings… the walls are Dean’s facade and the grenade launcher is his way of breaking it down. YES. This has been building all season and much prior to this other meta writers have said that he grenade launcher is associated with Dean’s hidden side, his bisexuality, Destiel etc… this is meta gold, THIS is a meta aspect Dabb was talking about. Toni even then parallels the tearing down of Mary’s mental wall with Dean’s physical use of the grenade launcher, just moments after. It is so well put together :D

Also, I have long believed that the bunker had to go. It represents too much the MoL side of things and the whole ‘living below ground’ thing is way too underground / metaphorically bad. For me they need a real, healthy home which is in between Bobby’s hunter house and the MoL bunker. Hopefully they will find a nice modern MoL home with kit but that isn’t so hidden above ground somewhere next season to take over and make their own :D

2. Sam the MoL leader

“Real hunting isn’t just about killing, it’s about doing whats right… I want you to follow me”. We have wanted this for Sam all season, the MoL story fits his personal arc so well (so did Eileen, still bitter), this is Sam’s endgame. Sam said just moments earlier that he didn’t want to lead, but now he is, because it is necessary and because he is good at it. I believe he will now see that this is what he wants and will work towards this for his endgame.

This then leads to…

3. Dean and Sam - ending the brodependency and Dean as Sam’s parent

Dean lets Sam go, the dialogue is amazing. “You’re ready for this… you got this” paralleled with an actual mom/daughter conversation between Jody and Alex. 

Originally posted by bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale

Dean literally talks to Sam like a parent letting their child go off to college and I had to pause this for a long long moment to process and scream “they’re actually going there!” not even knowing what was coming next… man…

Then comes the Mary / Dean scene.

4. Dean and Mary

This was always going to be what Mary led to for Dean’s arc. After Amara had started this addressing of Dean’s facade in season 11 and Mary is basically an extension of Amara this season re: Dean (in the same way that she still has to influence Sam’s arc re: Lucifer, that is for next season). I LOVED how BLATANT and textual they made this, the actual lack of subtext because it was all in the ACTUAL TEXT! 

Firstly, Dean considers letting Toni go, which I had expected, to show the difference between our boys (morality) and the MoL as monsters.

Then… “Dad was just a shell…I had to be a father and a mother to keep him safe, and that wasnt fair, and I couldnt do it, and you wanna know what that was like? They killed the girl that he loved, he got possessed by Lucifer, they tortured him in hell and he lost his soul…But I forgive you, for everything.” MY HEART!

Ok, yeah, they did the thing, they brought Jess up 30 mins before killing the guy that Dean loves after not mentioning her for…. A DECADE? And paralleling one of the few scenes we ever saw her in with Dean/Cas too? After we already had the parallel with Dean seeing Cas when driving along, same as Sam did? So, only the scene of Sam and Jess in the bar and the scene where Dean actually meets her haven’t been paralleled now with Dean/Cas? I’M LIVING!

But seriously. The rest is exactly what we, the audience needed to understand Dean and to show casual viewers Dean’s inner angst in order to understand the facade coming down, this is exactly what Dean needed. He has come full circle, this is the start of the culmination of the end of Performing!Dean (which Jensen has no said at Jibcon will be furthered in season 13!).

Dean actually TELLS Mary in his mind that he hates her, but that he loves her. That he had to be Sam’s mother and father, and that it wasn’t FAIR. This is so important, that he didnt just say that it happend and that it sucked, but that it wasn’t FAIR and that he did not DESERVE IT.

This is Dean addressing not just his mother but how HE feels about it, how he feels about HIMSELF, that he is saying that he DESERVES MORE and has SELF WORTH. 

These are all the words I have been using since 12x01 re: Dean . I’m so happy!

5. Ketch kills Toni, Mary kills Ketch after Dean beats him to a pulp, PERFECT, Jody kills Hess, again perfect.

This had to happen to keep our boys on the ‘don’t kill humans unless they HAVE to’ side, especially after Dean considered letting Toni go. Thank you.

6. Winchester family reunion 

Sam’s forgiveness of Mary, Dean’s reaction to the happy family hug (it’s great but someone is missing…). “Who we are… we kick ass. We save the world” 

Originally posted by fangirlingtodeath513

SAM AND DEAN ARE ACCEPTING THEMSELVES THIS SEASON. In 12x09 Sam said it, now Dean says it. After all the angst this episode and for Dean all season…

This whole episode was for me the culmination of the deconstruction of Performing!Dean this season, which has been the main theme carried through on the character - driven side of things, it was beautiful.

In many ways I view this as the character - led season finale and 12x23 as the plot - led season finale (which I will post my thoughts on right up next).

I cannot WAIT to see the result of this episode come across next season. 

We have not only now Performing!Dean pretty much dead or on his way out, the Dean Winchester is going to die metaphor was fully used and was fantastic, but coupled with Cas being brutally taken away from Dean, the parallels with 2 key canon romantic couples (Sam/Jess and Cain/Colette) in this within SECONDS of each other, plus the Jibcon revelations that we will see more of Dean’s reaction to this in season 13, apparently crying (and Jared not even hiding Destiel jokes now) make me pretty much 100% convinced Destiel is really endgame now.

Aside from this we now have Dean accepting himself, his internal self acceptance arc coming to a close, Sam’s MoL arc coming up and I will touch on the other aspects of the story for Sam in the next post as they are relevant to Lucifer / Jack, and Cas’s arc too…

Season 13 is already set up for exactly the endgame I am wishing for!

Tink’s Endgame Wishlist :

- Mol! Sam (and Eileen, Chuck I’m still bitter about that though, I really hoped her death would turn out to be a misdirection). Pretty much CHECK.

- Hunter / Mol collaboration with Sam and Dean as leaders. Pretty much CHECK.

- End of the brodependency, Dean acknowledging he was Sam’s parent and letting him go. CHECK.

- End of Performing!Dean. Pretty much CHECK.

- Human!Cas and self worth and belonging for his arc. TBA probably next season, what happened this season makes no sense if not to lead to this.

- Destiel. Pretty much CHECK. (And now after seeing Jibcon and the boys just joking about it all the time? Yeah, I don’t think they have an issue with this!).

- ALL THE RAINBOWS