like how is more than just two words for me

Thoughts Of The Signs
  • Aries: "I'm going to do this with or without you. I do not need you to show me how. I do not need you to watch me do it."
  • Taurus: "I can retract my kindness at any moment. I can make you sorry just as quickly as I can make you comfortable."
  • Gemini: "I just wish someone would believe me when I speak. Not everything I say is a joke. Not every game I play is in vain."
  • Cancer: "How about instead of complaining that I'm constantly moping, you give me a reason to stop moping?"
  • Leo: "There are times I feel like I should just stop speaking. I want to see who would honestly notice, or care."
  • Virgo: "I just wish someone would acknowledge my ideas. I want to feel important for more than two seconds. I want to be remembered."
  • Libra: "I want to show off those important to me. I want to tell everyone exactly what makes them special. I wish mere words could say it enough."
  • Scorpio: "People don't think I notice, but I do. I notice every slight change in behavior, right down to an odd blinking pattern."
  • Sagittarius: "You can either take me as I am or you can walk away. I'm not going to change my way of thinking to appease or align with your lifestyle."
  • Capricorn: "I will bulldoze anything that gets in my way. If it means I have to break a couple hearts on my way up, no problem. I'm not backing down."
  • Aquarius: "I don't have time to talk about it, I don't have energy to talk about it, and I don't have any seconds left to waste. Let's move on."
  • Pisces: "Just yesterday, it felt like everything was perfect. I know it's going to crumble to the ground. I know I destroy everything I touch. So I'm not expecting anything less."

do u ever just sit there and think about the fact that Rey is the one who marked Kylo with that scar and that is effectively saying, “YOU’RE MINE” [in the world of Fantasy]?

Originally posted by maytheforceormaynot

and she also buried his saber in the snow – like, “ur sword [read: allegiance] belongs to ME.”

do u ever just sit there and think about the fact that these two enemies had the most intimate moments of any SW enemies we’ve ever seen? Even more so than Obi-Wan and Anakin? Like intimate really is the word to use here [and for antis who need dictionaries, please look up the word intimate before you freak out; it doesn’t mean what you think it means].

Originally posted by roguewn

Originally posted by boomdafunk

Originally posted by nawelalgerienne

Originally posted by star-wars-is-life

do u ever think about how they’re being advertised together, how they’ve been confirmed filming for WEEKS together for the Ahch-To set, how the databank was updated to say shit like, “mysterious connection” and JJ said, “interesting relationship,” and Rian said, “two halves of the dark and the light,” and I just.

“Hey, are you free Wednesday afternoon?” Chowder asks.

Dex checks his phone. “Yeah, man. Project time?”

“Sure thing.” Chowder enters it in his calendar. “Should I text Chad?”

Dex shrugs. “Can’t believe we have to work with a lax bro.” He imitates their professor’s voice. “Good, good. A team of athletes. No trouble scheduling.”

“Except our practices are all mornings,” Chowder says, and groans. “What is it with Bitty and Soviet morning calisthenics?”

Dex shrugs. “Don’t let him hear you say that.”

Chowder shudders. Then he nudges him. “So,” he says. “I’m not gonna pry. But–okay, stop me if I’m going too far.” Dex looks curious but not alarmed. “So I go down to start my laundry in the basement, and you were down there fixing the dryer, and so was Nursey, yeah?” Now Dex looks alarmed. “And I went back up the stairs as soon as I figured out you guys were busy.” Chowder puts giant air quotes around ‘busy.’

“Thanks,” Dex says.

Keep reading

Bite Me (Peter Parker x Reader)

Request: (by @ttholland )

prompt list: 17. “Bite me”

Warnings: Slight smut, two (? I think) swear words

Word Count: 340

A/N: I honestly couldn’t decide how to use “bite me” (like in a smutty way? Or just fun bickering between the two? Then I decided to do both) also so sorry this is too short :/

Originally posted by tom-hollcnd

“Why are you extra annoying today Parker?” Y/N asked Peter, throwing her hands in the air. Peter tried to stay serious because he knew it wouldn’t be beneficial for him to even just chuckle quietly since Y/N was more than mad at him. “I- I don’t know baby,” Peter scoffed. Now, he knew he was screwed.

“Oh, I understand. You are no longer annoying. I guess, you just decided it would be easier to be your true self, an asshole!” Y/N yelled and threw herself on his bed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I know you are raging at me right now but I have to say, you look adorable when you get mad at me,” Peter smirked at Y/N, he was not lying about that but he was also hoping she would forgive him because of that comment. “Ugh,” Y/N rolled her eyes and picked up the book she was reading before Peter and her started to fight.  Peter watched her furiously turning pages and had a really hard time preventing himself from laughing. He knew she wasn’t concentrated on the book at all; she was just trying to avoid Peter’s annoying presence.

Peter sat down beside her. Y/N was acting like she didn’t notice at all. He kept staring at her, but she didn’t seem to notice at all. He brushed his knuckles on her cheek. She huffed and pushed Peter’s hand. Peter chuckled softly. “Babe,” he whispered. “Hmm,” Y/N answered.

“I love you,” Peter said. Y/N rolled her eyes once again and murmured: “Oh, bite me, Peter!”

“Gladly,” Peter shrugged and started to slowly suck her neck. “Peter,” Y/N hissed. She tried to push his head but she also was thrilled by the sudden action. “You-You know I’m still mad at you,” Y/N tried to sound stern but she was already a whimpering mess.

“Mmmhmmm” Peter nodded slightly. Y/N threw the book she was no longer able to read to the floor and moaned “Fuck this!”

TAG LIST: @maddie-leighhh @jaderbugz @xloonaticbloodx @neewtmas @redlune18 @sinnamoncronch @followthatfangirl @that70skiwi JUST LET ME KNOW IF YOU WOULD WANNA BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST

anonymous asked:

oh god are you one of those people who reads romeo and juliet as a romance rather than a tragedy

I thought I was gonna go to bed early tonight but I guess not

hey friend you just unleashed my nerdy wrath buckle up

short answer: no, I know r&j is a tragedy and I read it as such. Shakespeare didn’t write “romances”, at least not in the sense you mean (some people call his later stuff that’s harder to put into a genre ‘romances’, such as the winter’s tale and the tempest)

so no I’m not a moron thanks

here’s the long answer:

I presume you’re “one of those people” who likes to count themselves as the Specialest Snowflake In All The Land because they don’t buy into the fake cheesy idea of //romance// that everyone else so blindly believes

maybe you like to talk about how romeo and juliet were “just horny teenagers”, how they knew each other for three days, how romeo so loved rosaline thirty seconds before spotting juliet, so clearly he’s fickle and silly. they weren’t actually in love, they were just teenage idiots.
because only stupid girls buy that stuff.
you’re more mature than that.
am I right?

well, here’s the thing, sunshine- you aren’t special. I hear this same damn argument right down to the last word every time I mention my love of this play and it ENRAGES me every time because 99% of the time this is coming from /other teenagers/. other young people talking about how this isn’t a story to be taken SERIOUSLY. it’s silly and frivolous and unrealistic. they don’t realize that this play is dedicated to them.

and it’s criticizing people just like you.

while I do believe that these two young people were soul mates (I’ll get to that later), I don’t really think this is a story about love. it’s a story about /passion/- how love and hate are only a hair’s breadth apart and their overwhelming capacity for healing or for destroying. the emotion that drives mercutio to defend romeo from tybalt. what drives mercutio to be killed at his hand. what pushes formerly docile, dreamy romeo to slay his cousin in law: it all begins to seem like the same continuous passion, enflaming the same group of people on the hottest day of the year.

as a result, love isn’t a pretty thing in this play. it’s linked inextricably to death, to murder, to chaos. love is presented as the most dangerous force in the universe. it leaves five bodies in its wake, and then at the end (people forget this) it’s what finally brings the ancient feud to an end.
it’s not silly. it’s not frivolous. o brawling love, o loving hate.

and who are the conductors of this unstoppable force? who sets verona burning and then rebuilds it better in under a week?


people with a shitty understanding of this play who love to dismiss it and downplay it like to call it a “cautionary tale”- why you shouldn’t think with your dick, why you should grow up and not be so rash, be sensible.

I agree with part of this. it is a cautionary tale. but it’s directed at YOU.

you, who devalue youth. you, who underestimate teenagers and what they’re capable of, who wave off their every thought or feeling with “just a kid”. who think that love is a pretty little silly thing and that no one under the age of 25 is capable of really experiencing it. that the kids don’t MATTER.

capulet thought it- he dismissed tybalt’s rage during the party as dumb kids throwing a hissy fit. he wrote juliet off as a child who should be seen and not heard, shuffled from her father to her husband, guided by the wisdom of those older and wiser than her.

in the world presented in the play, age has NOTHING to do with wisdom. the adults range from careless (montague) to helpless (lady capulet) to blithering (the nurse). the wisest character, the most eloquent and intelligent one with the most beautiful poetry, is fourteen year old juliet.
(go back and read it. whose speeches are the most beautiful, sophisticated, complex? Juliet’s.)

okay, fine, you say. but they didn’t love each other, they just saw each other and got hot and bothered and wanted to jump the other’s bones! anyway, what about rosaline?!

I’ll address rosaline first:

shakespeare likes making fun of the poets of old (take for instance his “my mistress’ eyes” sonnet, a deliberate parody of the Petrarchan model of frilly love poetry). heres another example in romeo. when we first meet romeo he’s mooning over a girl in the frilliest, stalest, most formulaic verse imaginable. we get the feeling he’s enjoying himself, basking in his misery.

notice, though, that we never see rosaline on stage. she represents romeo’s vague infatuation with the //idea// of love, the pretty image he made up in his head from reading old poems. this not only creates an incredible arc in his character, but makes his love for juliet obviously the real deal by comparison. he meets juliet and his world goes into free fall; he’s rash and violent and impulsive, and the verse that was so stale and ingenuine before shifts into some of the most famous passionate poetry in the english language.
in his first scene, he asks “is love a tender thing?” he falls in love with juliet- REAL love, not the kind in poems- and comes to answer his own question: no. no it fucking isn’t.

but, you say. but they CANT have loved each other! you don’t fall in love just by LOOKING at someone!

yeah, I know you don’t.

but here’s the thing. if you aren’t willing to suspend some modicum of disbelief, you won’t get anything from shakespeare. period.

we’re already assuming that these people just happen to walk around speaking in blank verse and rhyming couplet. the plot of hamlet relies on the existence of a ghost, a midsummer night’s dream on fairies, macbeth on witches, the tempest on magic, measure for measure on the friggin /bed trick/- is it SUCH A HORRIBLE STRETCH FOR YOUR CYNICAL POSTMODERN MIND TO MAKE that characters can identify their soulmates with a look? have we reached that level of lazy cynicism as a society that magical love flowers and vengeful ghosts are believable, where a woman can turn into a boy by shoving a hat over her hair and statues spring to life as deceased loved ones, but love at first sight (a very very common Elizabethan plot device; it’s /everywhere/ in shakespeare) is just too much of a stretch?

no one rolls their eyes at hamlet because “ghosts aren’t real. are you one of those people who believe in ghosts?” no- they take it for the plot device that it is in order to get to the message of the play as a whole, and the truths of the human conditions it reveals, with the help of some purely theatrical elements.

but kids in love. that’s far too silly.

it’s really fucking sad.

and questions like yours, anon? those make me really, really fucking sad.

Flood my Mornings: Vermont (ii)

Notes from Mod Bonnie

  • This story takes place in an AU in which Jamie travels through the stones two years after Culloden and finds Claire and his child in 1950 Boston.

Late June, 1951 

Later that same night 

I knew that Jamie was awake, though I couldn’t truly see him. The fire had burned down to embers, and my eyes were bleary with sleep, but I didn’t need any light; I could feel his hands on the bare skin of my belly, hear the gentle Gaelic he was murmuring so sweetly over me, over us. 


He shifted at once and scooted toward me to touch my face. “I’m so sorry, mo nighean donn,” he whispered, kissing my cheek. “I didna at all mean to wake ye.”

“Dinna fash, darling,” I laughed, brushing the hair out of his eyes as he leaned over me. “What was it you were saying?”

“Oh.” Even in the barest light I could see the sheepish expression. “Wee Ian was moving about and I was only talking to him, a bit.”

“Yes, I know,” I said, grinning gently. “….What did you tell him?

He shrugged and laid down beside me. “Just—just foolish talk, ken.”

“My love,” I whispered, tenderness surrounding us, “you don’t have to tell me, if you don’t wish to…but I know it wasn’t foolish.”

He stroked my arm, then brought his hand back to my belly. “Could ye understand any of it?”

“Only a word or two….There was one thing you said a few times. Avah—aval-lach?

A bhalaich.”

“Yes, that’s one,” I said, wondering vaguely how in bloody hell it was spelled. “What does that one mean?”

“It only means ‘lad.’ Well, no, more…tender than that. More like… beloved boy. Sounds a bit daft in English, but it…it’s a deep kind of word to me, ken?”

“I thought maybe it was; just from the way you said it.” 

“Do you speak to him often?” I asked, a while later. 

“Aye,” Jamie admitted, “most every night, when you’re asleep.” 

There was something in the sound of his voice that troubled me—a rawness, some hurt untended between us in the dark. 

“I tell him,” he said at last, unprompted, “that I’m here…and I love him.” His hand tightened, spanning the breadth of the child as best he could. “And that I’ll always love him, no matter what may come. I dinna—” He stopped and I could hear him swallow. 

When he spoke again, his words were tight and hoarse. “Faith didna ken those things, I think.” He traced the lines of my hipbones, his eyes intent upon it so as not to look at me. “Didna ken that I loved her, or…So…” 

His pain filled my body, bringing mine up from the void along with it, choking me. “Jamie…” I murmured, reaching out in the dark to touch his face. “Jamie, no. That’s just not so.”

“I would give anything to believe what ye say, Claire.” He sat up and laid his arms across his knees, the edges of him rimmed from the glow of a log that had suddenly caught again. I watched, mourned to watch his shoulders slowly hunch, his head come to hang between them.  “But it is the truth.” 

So much I wanted to quiet and comfort him, to pull him back down to my heart and convince him of the truth that I knew; but I merely laid a hand on his back and let the quiet of the confessional descend upon us; let him speak all his soul. 

“I didna have the fear in me, then.” He wasn’t crying, but his voice audibly ached, so raw. “Not about the babe, not truly. All my real fear and worry was for the rest of it: what had happened in Scotland; how I was to provide for my family; the burden of Charlie and the war and—”

A long, shuddering breath.

“Amidst all that, I think I took the bairn’s safe arrival for granted—that at least will be well, I thought, even if all the rest crumbles. It never—never in truth occurred to me that I wouldna have time to tell her.” 

The silence that fell was so thick with sorrow it seemed that I could almost touch it. I rubbed my thumb softly where it lay, feeling his scars. I’m here. 

“Had I the chance to live it all out again, I’d scream ‘to hell wi’ preventing the war, to hell wi’ Randall and everyone else.’” His voice crescendoed sharply with the vehemence of it, then tapered back to whisper as he finished. “…and spend those six months at home, not leaving your side for a moment until she was born. For, what was the cost of her life? Was there anything we accomplished that was more important than her?” His head hung further, and I could see him holding it in his hands. “All for naught. That I could make it all right.”

“Oh, my love…Listen to me.” I did make him turn, then, forced that barrier between us to vanish “We’re never going to stop thinking of her, of Paris—what we each could have done differently; but you’re only remembering the end. Don’t you remember the good days, too, when she was with us?”

“Barely,” he admitted, the quiet truth of it breaking my heart.

“Well, I remember,” I said, rubbing his leg imploringly. “I remember that you kissed her and spoke to her, just like you do now to Ian. I remember your eyes lighting up when you touched my belly and felt her move, just like now. I remember so much happiness, even with all the upheavals swirling around us; and what happened in the end doesn’t change that.”

He nodded but it was only because he knew he ought. I could still feel the shame in his body, the pain.

“Come here,” I whispered, and after the barest hesitation, he laid down next to me once more. “She knew, Jamie.” I turned onto my side toward him and got his face in both my hands. “She did. As much as she was capable of knowing anything at all, she knew that we loved her. Yes, both of us.” I turned his head to me and made him look me in the eye as I whispered, “She knew the sound of your voice.

“She…?” He blinked. “She did?”

I nodded, my lips trembling with the effort not to cry. “She would always move about when she heard you; not for male voices in general. Just yours.”  

His mouth moved, but no sound came out. 

“Ye never told me that,” he whispered when he found his voice. I started to apologize but he shook his head hard and pressed his forehead to mine. “Thank you. It means….” 

It meant everything; to me, and to him. 

We let ourselves weep, then, for her, just for a little while, in the safety of one another, in the safety of distance and the hope of still more redemption to come in just a few short weeks.

“I truly do believe that all will be well, wi’ Ian,” he said, reading my thoughts as I thumbed away his tears, and he, mine. “I have such verra great hope, now. I feel yours, as well, and that keeps me strong when I’ve doubts…. but I still must tell him, for her sake. I still need him to ken that his Da loves him.”

“Tell him every day until he’s born.” I laid a kiss in the palm of his hand, then brought it to rest overtop our little boy. “And then every day after that.” 

In the dark, among the sweet scent of evergreens, the mountains bore witness to the bond. 

Tha gaol agam ort, Eóin, a bhalaich.”

Doll (B.Barnes)


Bucky Barnes

Warnings: angst(?), swearing, Bucky being an idiot, jealous Bucky possibly

A filler until I publish my next smut, enjoy xo

At first, everybody thought it was a fluke. It had to be, that’s the only way this thing made sense. It was a simple slip of the mind, nothing uncommon for Bucky.

But when Bucky didn’t make a move to correct himself.. that’s when things got confusing. 

Nat thought he mustn’t have noticed when he called the pretty brunette at the bar ‘Doll’. Wanda thought he was a little tipsy, despite knowing very well that was an impossible thing. But Y/N, well.. Y/N knew it was no mistake, no slip of the tongue. 

Keep reading

✧ ❰  book covers that tell the whole story starters   /   pt. 1
         —  inspired by boards like this & this. feel free to switch pronouns or wording

❛ everyone cries if you poke them in the eyes. ❜
❛ open my door & come inside, but be aware that i am a haunted house. ❜
❛ i’m a terrible person, but i have a good reason. ❜ 
❛ why is that priest here? ❜ 
❛ think before you complain. ❜
❛ talk to me right, & i’ll never forget a word. ❜
❛ let’s just eat our food & go home. ❜
❛ am i one person and a mirror, or two people? ❜
❛ five more minutes to go. ❜
❛ it’s a story i never finished writing, and never wanted anyone to read. ❜
❛ i would rather kill you than ask you for help. ❜
❛ how about this: we cured the diseases & lived happily ever after. ❜
❛ the key didn’t fit the hole. ❜
❛ i was trapped in a couple of traps, reaching for a trap — ❜
❛ thanks for humoring me. ❜
❛ just when i start to like myself, i do something like this. ❜
❛ oh no! she’s pretty. ❜
❛ didn’t i throw you off a building? ❜
❛ we want a meaning where there isn’t one. ❜
❛ my hormones kicked my ass. ❜
❛ you defuse the bomb, and the clock starts over, time & time again, until you make a mistake or walk away. ❜
❛ the important thing is that what i’ve said makes sense to me. ❜
❛ you look like you walked into a wall of regret. ❜
❛ i’ve seen this before, one million times. ❜
❛ danger! he’s a stranger. ❜
❛ you can’t borrow my love. ❜
❛ i wasn’t sick until i saw the doctor. ❜
❛ everything i say is a promise. ❜
❛ wisdom? that was wisdumb. ❜
❛ time flies. too bad i’m not having any fun. ❜
❛ i’m erring on the side of love. ❜
❛ i’ve stopped trying to get what i want, but i still want it. ❜
❛ more and more, i find myself wanting more and more. ❜
❛ i know your pain. i have mistaken it for my own.❜
❛ if you do something good for someone you hate, then you have to do something bad to someone you love. ❜
❛ luck doesn’t exist, & we’re lucky it doesn’t. ❜
❛ you had nails for my coffin. ❜
❛ he jumped the gun & i shot him dead. ❜
❛ don’t pick the weeds, pick the flowers. ❜
❛ am i going to hell or what? ❜
❛ honey, you’re on fire. ❜
❛ i’m pretty on the inside, gorgeous on the outside. ❜
❛ i wasn’t smart at all. ❜
❛ just as i was dying, i was born again. ❜
❛ i don’t want to see your worries, i want to see your war eyes. ❜

Aaron Hotchner / Afraid

As per anon’s request: 

Hotch x reader, where she meets jack for the first time and after a while they’re watching a movie and there is a wedding in the movie (Disney) and Jack casually asks them when they are getting married? She also works for the bau and is younger than him around 25?

I loooooved writing this. Dad! Hotch is the best, and if you guys could keep the Hotch requests coming I’d be thrilleddd. He’s literally the sweetest. Anyway, a few thoughts: I think Hotch would be insecure dating, given his history and his need to put others before his own desires, he would feel like he’s holding the person back from a more fulfilling relationship. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! 

Originally posted by youkicklikeanineyearoldgirl-cm

Keep reading

So sorry this is quite long.

Here are my thoughts on the whole MTV Sprousehart interview. For the past few months I’ve been 99% sure that Cole and Lili have some sort of romance going on off screen. I don’t want to say they are exclusively calling themselves boyfriend and girlfriend yet, even to one another, but I do believe they are seeing each other and are intimate. At Wondercon Cole kept making a lot of sexual jokes and Lili was visibly blushing and smiling every time he did. We all know Bughead are innocent and purely romantic thus far, so why make so many cheeky jokes about them? I reckon he was probably teasing Lili about their real life relationship because Cole comes across as a flirt and a shit stirrer.

Going back to the MTV interview: the interviewer asked them about their photoshoot, so logically they spoke about it in a way that would avoid them being asked the ‘are you two dating’ question. Lili then called him a friend because obviously she wasn’t going to say my boyfriend or the guy I’m dating/seeing. The word 'friend’ is the go to word when people are trying to dodge talking about their relationship status. Everyone does it, even non celebrities do it when they’re in the early stages of dating someone and don’t want a lot of people knowing. Also, imagine the reaction they would get from everyone if they admitted they’re dating at a pop culture event? The fandom would go berserk. Plus, they have been super private and secretive about this whole relationship for months, so why would they even dare admit it now! Cole probably said what he said because he believes that the only reason people think they’re dating is because of the few photo shoots they’ve done at the flower fields. So he was just trying to emphasize that if that’s the sole reason people think we’re together then that’s crazy because I’d do photo shoots with all my costars if they asked me to. However, Lili and Cole have no idea how deep the Sprousehart family read into everything they post and do. We don’t just think they’re dating because of their photo shoots; we have so much more other proof that there is something going on with them. *Also, I think Cole was slightly happy the topic was brought up, so he could try debunk the rumours, that way the two wouldn’t have to be as stealthy as they’ve been. For e.g., Lili posted more photos from their shoot not long after that interview was released. 🤔

Lili is obviously the closest with Cole in the cast, no doubt in my mind, and vice versa. So why is Lili the only female in the show who refuses to post selfies of Cole on her IG stories or even on her IG page? Ashleigh posts photos of Cole all the time, so does Cami and even Madelaine takes selfies with him when they’re in the same place. Lili takes photos with Kj, Casey, Ross and all the others but barely ever with Cole, especially since they wrapped filming season 1 and returned back to LA. Lili even goes out of her way to post things on Twitter and IG about how much she misses Kj and Casey and can’t wait to see them. Why has she never been this openly cute with Cole? If she ever does post anything to him or about him it’s usually her making fun of him (in a typical you always tease the one you love kind of way). So what separates him from the others? Because we all know they see each other more than anyone else in the cast, so why not show the world pictures of your so called 'friendship’ if that’s all it is… 👀

Here are the reasons they’re probably being so secretive about their relationship:
1. Cole is a very private person and doesn’t like the media getting involved in his personal life. Also, after his messy breakup with his ex I doubt he wants his next relationship to be the talk of the town.
2. Lili is so new to all this stardom and the whole Hollywood life. Imagine how much more attention they’d both get if they admitted they were dating? Paparazzi would be on their tails at every turn. Also, it would consume the fandom and put more focus on the actors lives instead of the show.
3. Imagine everyone knew they were dating and then they broke up? That would cause a lot of problems for the show and for Bughead because people would treat the two as though they’re the same thing. Remember the Nian and Delena fanbase when Nian broke up? It went into meltdown! Speaking of Nina and Ian’s relationship, from The Vampire Diaries, they were secretly dating for ages and people suspected it from early on, but the two never admitted it, and Nina even said in an interview she’d never date a costar and has never dated a costar. Then a few months later they were spotted in Paris arm in arm with both their mums trailing behind them. We all believed they were dating; however, they refused to admit it for a long time. (Also, in the early stages of Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield’s relationship the two got hounded about their romance, which they, too, denied for a long time. I remember someone once asked Andrew about his girlfriend and he said something like, 'Who’s my girlfriend? You’re making an assumption about my personal life, and my personal life is not public property.’ Justin and Selena also used to say they were just 'friends’ when they were secretly dating. The list goes on.) There are plenty of costars and celebrity couples who deny dating and merely call themselves 'friends’ before the truth finally comes out. Lili and Cole would have been well prepared for the questions to come pouring in about whether or not they’re dating, so they would have agreed to just say they’re friends. I mean, isn’t it funny that both of them just happened to squeeze the word friend into their answer? It seemed a little rehearsed and thought out. But that’s just my opinion.
4. Another reason why they’re being secretive is because Lili and Cole are still both so young; they don’t know how their futures will pan out. So maybe they’re taking this relationship slow and trying to be as mature about it as possible. We all know how the media has a penchant for ruining celebrity couples with all their fake stories and cheating scandals etc. Lili and Cole would not want that poisoning their relationship.
5. The haters! This is probably one of the biggest reasons. The two are well aware that Riverdale has its fair share of haters. Why would they willingly invite that kind of negativity into their private lives and their relationship? Imagine the comments they’d receive under their posts on SM from the toxic fans (aka B*ronica & Barfchie shippers) if they went public about being together!

This is my overall opinion: If Lili and Cole were just friends then they would use their close bond to really promote Bughead and make more fans jump on the ship. They’re both clearly fond of the onscreen romance, especially Lili. So wouldn’t they be more open about their sweet chemistry by posting videos & photos together and/or tweeting each other more etc? No, instead they treat each other like a little secret. It’s like they’re trying to protect their relationship from all the hate and negativity that exists in the world (mainly the internet). If they are in fact together, this relationship must mean a lot to both of them because of how hard they try to keep it a secret.

Lastly, I’m not saying that they’re 100% dating. I don’t know them personally; I don’t live with them 24/7 to know what goes on in their day to day lives. But there is just way too much proof that makes me think they are more than friends. I’m not going to stop believing in Sprousehart just because of one stupid interview that, like a lot of other fans have said, didn’t actually include either of them saying the words 'No, we’re not dating.’

In time we will find out the truth. Hopefully the two get spotted hand in hand or kissing behind a tree or something, and then we can finally have our confirmation. 🙏😉💜

Heartbreaker Part 2

Originally posted by sexycliffconda

Part 1

Love me like you did, love me like you did/I’ll give you anything, I’ll give you anything

(Outer Space-5sos)

     The fans were currently split. They either hated or loved the boys at the moment. A video of Ashton announcing that your relationship was all based on a bet had gone viral. Not only had Ashton’s worse nightmare had come true, but he could only imagine what you were going through. The two of you had been apart for a month now. It was one month too long for Ashton’s liking. Sure he had toured and been away from you long enough before, but this time was different. The two of you weren’t even together and Ashton wasn’t sure if you two were still friends. His reputation of being a gentleman was tarnished. 

Ashton let out a huff and kept his eyes locked on the phone he was twirling around. He wanted to respect your wishes and not contact you, but he couldn’t keep to his word. There was so much Ashton still wanted to say, but he knew you weren’t going to listen. You had made it clear to him that the relationship you two had was still hanging in the air. You had told Ashton you wanted to think about everything and it scared him to death. The anticipation was too much and it took him three seconds to get your contact up and hit the call button. It was like his senses went on high as the phone rang. On the first ring he could hear his heart pounding loud in his chest. On the second ring his breath hitched in his throat as he thought of you not picking up. This was taking too long and Ashton was ready to hang up, but then the call picked up. “Hello?” a voice said. It was a deep voice, one that clearly didn’t belong to you. The voice made his blood run cold and he momentarily forgot what he wanted to say. “Hello?” the guy asked again.

“I-Is Y/N there?” Ashton hesitantly asked, “Maybe I dialed the wrong number.”

“No this is her phone. Can you hang on a second?” the guy said. Ashton didn’t have a chance to reply. He only heard the stranger call for you and soon heard your voice in the background. It was only seconds later that your voice filled the line and Ashton’s heart swelled with love. “Y/N here!” you cheerfully said into the phone, not really being told who was on the other line.

“I miss you,” Ashton blurted, he physically winced as the words left his lips. That wasn’t how he wanted to start the conversation. Hearing another man’s voice wasn’t what he was expecting either. The smile on your face faded at the sound of his voice. You had been doing alright without him being in your life for the month. Trying hard to get over the event that took place. “Who was the guy that picked up the phone?” Ashton found himself asking. You swallowed hard at his words, glancing to your guest and giving him a smile.

“Don’t do that” you mumbled, ignoring his question.

“Do what?” Ashton innocently replied, running a hand through his hair. He knew you were avoiding his question and couldn’t help but to be jealous. It was hard for him not to be jealous. You two broke up and just a month away from each other it already seemed like you had moved on. How could he blame you though? Ashton had screwed you over in more ways than one. 

“Don’t say that you miss me,” you sighed into the phone. “Don’t act like you care about how I’m doing or who I’m with bec-”

“So you are with him?” Ashton cut you off. Ashton’s mouth felt dry and the thought of this stranger touching you the way he used to do flashed through his mind.

“That’s none of your business,” you replied. Ashton was making this harder than it needed to be. Whether you were dating someone or not had nothing to do with him. It was his fault the two of you weren’t together. The line went quiet for about a good two minutes and you could hear Ashton sniffle. Your eyes closed in frustration and you took a sharp inhale of breath. You mentally fought with yourself on the next words that were about to leave your mouth. “Do you want to meet up and talk?”

     It was like the weather was reflecting both your moods. The rain pouring down hard and whipping about as the wind began to blow even more. The minute you pulled up to the park you saw Ashton sitting on one of the benches. He was soaked in water. Not even wearing a jacket nor having an umbrella with him. You drove up close to where he was sitting, rolling the window down so you could talk to him. “Are you crazy! Get in the car!” you shouted out to him. Ashton’s head shot up at your words and he hesitated for a moment before running towards the passenger side door. The atmosphere in the car got thick. Ashton shutting the door behind him and trying to warm up as you turned on the heater. 

“Raining cats and dogs out there,” he chuckled, trying to break the tension. You stared out ahead, lips pursed as you tried to collect your thoughts. They were racing all over the place and the fact that Ashton was close to you once more made it even worse. “Could you imagine it actually raining cats and dogs? That’d be really weird…and dangerous,” Ashton continued saying. You knew what he was doing.

“Why did you do it?” you asked, eyes still locked on the rain rolling down the window. Ashton became quiet, trying to wipe the water from off his face as he thought of what to say. “Like why did you really take this bet, Ashton? Was it just to get in my pants? Were you just bored?” It was word vomit and you somehow couldn’t stop yourself from throwing so many questions at him. “Why me? Why did the guys choose me for this bet?” You sucked in a deep breath, mouth clamping shut as you realized Ashton hadn’t been able to answer your questions. 

“You know I’ve asked myself why I did what I did a lot,” Ashton began, “I love you both as a best friend and boyfriend. I always had felt something for you, Y/N.” Ashton paused, trying to figure out a way to word everything right. “You know how long I’ve buried my feelings for you? I was scared that loving you the way that I did, as more than friends, would change our dynamic,” he said. Taking on the bet had changed your dynamic with each other. You jumped in your spot as his hand touched yours. Ashton smiled at the fact that you didn’t pull away. You knew what he meant. “I don’t know I guess when the bet was brought up it was more so a push for me to ask you out,” he finished. 

“Either way our whole relationship was based off a bet,” you whispered. Hand finally pulling away from his. “You say that you love me yet you still break my heart.”

“I wish I could go back and do everything differently believe me, but what happened has passed…you hate, the fans hate me, I hate me,” Ashton said. You both became quiet after that. The only sound present in the car was the rain hitting against the roof. You finally looked over to him. Studying the face you had been looking at for so long. Even though he was drenched in water you could still tell Ashton was crying. You weren’t going to console him because Ashton deserved everything that was being thrown at him. 

“I don’t hate you,” you told him, putting emphasis on the word. Ashton smiled at your words. “More so disappointed…I forgave you a while ago, but I’m still hurt.” You still loved Ashton. How could you not love him? Ashton had been your everything and now you weren’t even sure what the two of you were. You chewed on your bottom lip, head falling back against the headrest in frustration. All you wanted was for all of this to disappear. You wanted Ashton to not have taken that bet and have asked you out in confidence. All of this could have been avoided. Your phone began to ring making your attention turn away from Ashton. “It’s Leo,” you sighed, catching Ashton’s attention in the process. The thought of your guest had slipped your mind. You were suppose to only be gone for fifteen minutes, but that had turned to an hour. Before you could react Ashton had picked up your phone and answered it.

My North Star (pt 4)

Originally posted by eyomo

A/N: I got around to writing part four tonight! I hope you all like it. There no way in hell that this is going to be finished by part 5, because I’m thinking of at least another three parts. BUT Let me know if you want a part 5, otherwise I’m not going to continue to write!

Summary: You have been in love with your best friend, the one constant in your life, for as long as you can remember. But what happens when the new girl comes along? And a new guy, who’s pining for your heart.

Length: 3563 words omg sorry not sorry. I’ll make the rest of the parts shorter 

Previous parts: part 1 part 2 part 3

Genre: angst, romance, fluff.

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Smooth Operator, Usnavi de la Vega x Reader

Prompt: 18. “How long have you been standing there?” + Usnavi de la Vega (In the Heights)

Words: 555

Author’s Note: I loved writing for In the Heights! Usnavi is such a cool character to explore.

Warnings: Usnavi is a horrible dancer

Askbox | Masterlist | Prompt list

Sonny loved flirting with you. Usnavi would send glares to him through the bodega window as Sonny spent his morning making you giggle instead of working.

Every morning you would waltz in at the same time, buy the same things (cafe con leche, a lottery ticket, a candy bar), he would argue that you shouldn’t have to pay because, “You’re basically family!”

“You have to stay in business somehow, Usnavi.” You would answer, placing exact change on the counter and glide out before he could say much more.

You would stand in front of his bodega as the sun shined on. Sonny would make his way to work an hour late, as usual, and spend at least fifteen minutes chatting you up.

Eventually Benny would make his way to the bodega for his usual and the daily taunting would begin.

“You know looks can’t actually kill right?” He, too, had exact change.

“If only.” Usnavi would reply.

“If it pisses you off so much, ask her out.” Usnavi would look at him as if he was the stupidest person in the world.

“It’s very sweet that you try to talk your cousin up to me, Sonny. But he barely says more than two words to me.”

“He’s nervous! He can’t ask a girl like you out. You’re so far out of his league.” You giggled at this, giving him a swift punch in the shoulder.

“Get to work. You’re probably already a few hours late.” He shrugged, finally making his way into the corner bodega waving off how Usnavi immediately started with the taunts.

After your shift at the salon, you usually went straight home. Today, you were let off early and the sun had yet to set. You decided to drop by the bodega again, just to see if you could get any further in your relationship with Usnavi.

Peeking through the window, you noticed it was only him and Sonny. He appeared to be trying to learn some dance moves from Sonny. Key word being trying.

“Nah man, I didn’t even know legs can move that way!” Sonny laughed as Usnavi managed to trip over his own feet.

“This is pointless. Y/N barely even looks at me! She won’t want to be seen within two blocks of these moves.” Usnavi demonstrated one of his ‘moves’ for show.

The bodega door dinged and you made your way in, grinning at his take on the running man.

“I don’t know,” You teased, “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with moves like that.” You tried mimicking his dance, but couldn’t replicate it for more than two seconds before busting a gut.

“How long have you been standing there?” Sonny gave Usnavi an encouraging pat on the back before grabbing his bag and taking his leave for the night.

“Long enough to know our first date should not be to a club. Maybe just a dinner?” You suggested. He stared at you, dead eyed, unable to form anything to close to actual words.

“Y-Yeah! That sounds cool. No big deal.” He pretended to act casual, leaning against his counter.

“No big deal.” You agreed, pecking him once on the corner of his lips before saying goodnight.

You lingered outside the bodega for another moment, watching as he broke out into another horrible dance in celebration.

Anonymous: I just want some angsty lams and some John brushing Alex’s hair comfortingly pretty please? I don’t care what kind of angst at all, but I really want hair brushing and you write lams so well. Please and thank you! You are awesome! Love ya! ❤ 

You got it, bby! ;) I hope you and the rest of the kiddos enjoy this fic! Thank you to my wonderful friend Binna @ciceroniantrash for angsting with me as I wrote this! (Also, pssst @chickensauras! This is the fic I’d started last night! ^.^) <333

“Alexaaaander?” John singsonged as he walked into their dorm room. He looked over at Alex’s bed and smiled at the lump huddled up under the covers.

John walked over to Alex and gently tapped him where he thought his shoulder was. “Hey, babe, I’m back. Wanna get sushi?”

The lump did not move. John tapped Alex again. Still no response.

“Alex?” he said slowly, as if not wanting to startle his boyfriend.


“I’m pulling the blanket back now,” John said. He took the cover in his hands and cautiously pulled it back.

Alex was curled up in a tiny ball under it, eyes open, staring at the wall, though John could tell Alex couldn’t really see anything.

“Oh, babe,” John said softly.

As he studied his boyfriend more and more, he realized that Alex was in a fresh shirt, but still had his pajama bottoms on, likely meaning he’d tried to get dressed and go to class before crawling back in bed. John’s heart sunk at the thought. Alex’s class started at 9:30. It was past 12:30 now. He absolutely hated the thought of his boyfriend being alone and in pain for that long.

He climbed up onto the bed with Alex and moved the boy’s head into his lap. He ran his fingers through Alexander’s dark locks, hoping the gentle touch would slowly bring him back from wherever he’d gone.

Alexander slowly tilted his head up toward John and blinked his eyes a few times. John smiled down at him, trying his best to hide the worry he knew was written all across his freckled face.

“Hey,” John said softly. “You okay?”

Alex stared at him for a moment longer before shaking his head no. John felt his heart leap into his throat.

Alex is never this forward. He tried to see the positive side, that at least Alex was being honest with him, but he had a feeling it was more like Alex is tired of hiding how he really feels from him.

“That’s okay,” John said soothingly. “That’s completely fine. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Alex stared up at him, expression unchanging, as if the words were taking longer than usual to make sense to him. John recalled Alex explaining how it felt sometimes, a few months ago, around three am during finals week, when he’d been awake for two days straight and drank more coffee than should be legal.

“It’s like… like a huge cloud,” he’d said, spreading his arms as far as they’d go. “And, and it just descends upon me and stuffs itself into my head, which I know is big, but it’s not that big.” He winked at John. “And it makes it hard to think, because imagine having a cloud in your head, John. Imagine.”

“Um, yeah…” John had said, not wanting to reveal how uncertain, how confused, he was in the moment.

“I can use another metaphor. I can make literally a million, probably.”

“That’s okay, babe, the cloud is good,” John assured him. “So it’s hard to think?”

“Oh, yeah, hella. Thankfully it doesn’t get too extreme very often, but when it does…” Alex raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

“What happens?” John asked, almost not wanting to hear the answer, but knowing he needed to because what if if happened again and Alex needed him.

“When it gets really bad, which has happened…” Alex paused and looked up at the ceiling as if it held the answer he was searching for. “It’s happened twice. Once when my mother died, but I guess I had to snap out of it pretty quick because I got put into the system and all that.”

John wanted to tell Alex that depression wasn’t something he could just snap out of, but he also didn’t want to interrupt Alexander. He filed it away to bring up later, maybe after Alex got some sleep and drank a normal (for him) amount of coffee.

“And the second time was during our senior year of high school.”

John felt his heart drop. Senior year. They’d been best friends for two years by that point. Why hadn’t he known?

“It was… remember when I was out sick for a week? With the flu?”

John thought for a moment, then recalled Lafayette lugging home Alex’s books and assignments, asking John and Herc and Eliza for homework from classes they had with Alex.

“Yeah,” John said slowly, not sure he liked the direction this was going in.

“Well, it, uh, wasn’t the flu.”

John felt like someone had slapped him. He’d failed at being there for Alex. He’d completely and utterly failed.

Alex must have been able to sense how John was feeling because he quickly tried to reassure him. “John, babe, oh my god. Please don’t feel bad? Even Laf didn’t fully know what was going on. I wouldn’t let him near me for very long, and with all the tissues strewn across the bed, well, he thought it was the flu, too, until a few weeks later I told him.”

“I… I just feel horrible that I didn’t notice.”

“But I hid it. On purpose,” Alex stressed. “I was, well, kinda ashamed? I don’t know, I just didn’t want you to think that I was weak or weird.”

“I would never,” John said quickly.

“I know, but I was… it was an irrational fear,” Alex said. “And obviously I got over it.”

John had to smile at that. Yes, John thought. Clearly he has.

But now John was sitting with Alex on his dorm bed, trying to keep himself from panicking because his boyfriend is not okay, very not okay, and he doesn’t know what to do.

He tried to recall what Alex said about the cloud, about what helped, but it’d been like he himself didn’t really know what would be helpful, since it had happened so few times.

Think, think, John commanded himself. What helps Alex normally?

John quickly went through the list of things that typically comforted his boyfriend when he was depressed. There was peppermint tea, funny YouTube videos, and fuzzy blankets. Seeing as Alex was pretty unresponsive at the moment, John doubted that he could get him to drink tea, and felt that Alex wouldn’t be able to watch a video, but the blankets were doable.

“Babe, I’ll be right back,” he said, hoping Alex heard him. He gently shifted his boyfriend off of his lap and walked across the small room to his bed, where there were two folded blankets, then he opened up Alex’s closet, where they kept an especially fuzzy blanket that Martha had sent to him earlier that year when he had a bad cold.

John tossed the blankets on the bed and then grabbed his two pillows and stuffed turtle and threw them into the pile. He set about making a cozy, comfy nest of pillows, shifting Alex into the center with blankets draped around him.

John was about to climb onto the bed when he noticed Alex’s hair brush was near the foot of his bed, teetering, about to tumble to the floor. He must have meant to brush his hair, John thought.

Hair! John thought excitedly. He loves to have his hair played with.

He grabbed the brush and climbed back onto the bed, positioning himself behind Alex, who had kind of slumped over in John’s absence.

“Hey, babe,” John said softly as he sat his boyfriend back up, the unseeing look still in his eyes.

The cloud descends upon me. Alex’s voice echoed in John’s mind.

“I’m gonna brush your hair now. Does that sound good?” He didn’t expect Alex to reply, so when he didn’t, he wasn’t shocked.

He simply took Alex’s curls, which he hadn’t even bothered to put into his signature ponytail, and first ran a gentle hand through them. Then he began to brush his boyfriend’s hair, starting at the bottom, recalling his sister, Mary Eleanor, instructing him to do so when he’d used to help her brush her hair before school.

He paid each section of Alex’s hair special attention, humming a French song he knew Alex loved as he did so. Slowly, he felt Alex sitting up more on his own. He felt his head resist the tug of the brush when John accidentally hit a snarl.

John tried not to get too excited or too hopeful, but he couldn’t help the miniscule smile that found its way onto his face.

He simply kept brushing Alex’s hair, the only sounds in the room his humming and the brush smoothing out Alex’s black locks.

When he finished, Alex’s hair was a bit frizzy, but incredibly soft. John recalled Alex telling him once that he loved to have his hair braided, especially in two braids. He may have been slightly drunk at the time, but John knew Alex just opened up more when he was drunk; he never lied.

John pulled his own hair out of the bun he’d haphazardly thrown it into that morning before class and grabbed his boyfriend’s wrist, where he knew another hair tie would be waiting. He gently pulled it off, then braided Alex’s hair.

When he was done, he ran his hand over both of Alex’s braids. “So pretty,” John whispered.

He wrapped his arms around Alex from behind, pulling him close. He nearly gasped when Alex’s hands reached up and wiggled their way into his own.

“Thank you,” Alex hoarsely whispered.

“Anything for you,” John said, trying his best not to let the tears of relief that had gathered in his eyes fall.

Alex settled back against him, his head on John’s shoulders. He shut his eyes, and John tugged the blankets up over them more, then leaned back into the nest of pillows.

He kissed Alex on the crown of his head. “Anything for you,” he whispered. “Anything.”

Lost Track of Time pt 3 (final)

|| Pt. 1 || Pt. 2 || Pt. 3 ||

Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff 

Summary: Jungkook wanted to make it up to you. Hopefully, a little less-than-perfect date would do the trick.

[Updated] Word Count: 1322 

Originally posted by ultranicolet

Your hands fumbled against the keypad. Your fingers were trembling as you tried to aim for the buttons. 

What was up Taehyung? The tone of his voice had scared you. You never heard him this hushed, this sad, this worried before in all the time that you had known him. What had happened to Jungkook for him to sound this way?

Was he sick? Was he hurt? Was he okay? 

The electronic sound of the door opened chimed after you were finally able to input your passcode. You wanted to slam the door open and rush inside, but you were scared. You were terrified that something so bad had happened to Jungkook, that you weren’t sure if you were prepared to see the worst. 

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The Girl from the Script

Author’s Note: I honestly don’t know where I was going with this. It started as a fantasy in my head and than I just kept thinking about it and how cute it could end. But I never got to an actual ending so this one is like last minute. I don’t really like it but let me know what you guys think.:)

Also the smut is on it’s way.;)

Rated: PG

Warnings: None


“So, what was she like?” she asks. She’s sitting to the left of me with her legs curled under her body and her right elbow resting against the back of the couch, her hand holding her head up. We were currently sitting in my hotel room and I just finished singing an acoustic version of There’s Nothing Holding Me Back for her. She asked me to sing for her out of the nowhere, specifically choosing this song.

The question that comes from her leaves me a bit confused and I turn to her after setting my guitar down. “Who?” I ask and she giggles at me. It brings butterflies to my stomach and makes my palms sweaty.

“The girl you wrote this song about. I mean I know you said she’s a character from a script you read and the video gives a bit of insight but I want to know more of what she was like.” She says and there’s this sparkle in her eye that she gets whenever she’s genuinely interested in something. There was no better way to explain it than to say she looked like a kid in a candy store. Cliché I know but it was as accurate as it could get. So much wonder behind them over something so little. I smile at her as I realized what she was asking. She bites her lip, her eyes falling to my mine for a second before she’s looking me in the eyes again. The gesture does something unexplainable to me but I withhold it as I open my mouth to speak.

“Well, the script portrays her as someone who is carefree. I think that’s the best way to sum it up in one word but since you need details” I say and she laughs at that. A genuine chuckle that makes my heart skip a beat and has me moving closer to her. “She’s someone who isn’t afraid to be herself. Someone who is ok with who she is and how she is. If she wants to do something she does it even something as crazy as sticking her head out the window of a moving train, as you see in the video. She’s everything everyone in real life wants to be. Genuinely happy and interested in the little things. I picture her as someone who gets excited over things that other people would consider stupid. I imagine her being someone who feels deeply and isn’t afraid to show it. She’s the kind of person who loves and hurts too easily but also someone who is always willing to forgive. The script I read didn’t go into much detail so these are just things I’ve added to her character” I say as I explain to her in the best way that I can. A smile is pulling at my lips and my hand finds her free one to play with her fingers.

I realize now that it’s her. She’s the girl in the script. Whatever I’ve added to the nonexistent girl are traits I get from the one sitting in front of me. “She kind of reminds me of you” I say quietly, glancing up at her while bringing her hand to my lips to place a kiss there. She smiles at me widely. She’s still biting her lip and it makes me want to kiss her. I lift my head up all the way so that I can get a full look at her and I swear she’s an angel. She looks beautiful under the lights of the sun rays and the early morning sky. She’s a colorful contrast to the almost all white hotel living room. She’s wearing nothing but a bright pink tan top, baby blue underwear, and a pair of neon orange socks on her feet. What possesses her to dress so colorfully is beyond me but I like it. I can see the outline of her nipples through her shirt and I try my hardest not to stare. It doesn’t help that she isn’t wearing pants and her thick thighs are on display for me. Her eyes are staring at me so intensely that it makes me nervous. She looks beautiful.

“Really?” she asks, her words followed by what sounds to me like an unbelievable laugh and I just nod while humming a “mhmm” to her. She
chuckles, her smiling getting bigger if possible. “Well I would like to be like her” she admits and waves her hand around as she continues to talk, “I mean obviously that’s very fictional, her personality. There’s got to be more to her than that. Like what does she look like when she’s angry? How does she act? Is there another side to her? Because I believe that there’s two sides to every person you know. Does she get jealous easily? What does it take to make her cry? Is she loud and obnoxious or quiet and shy? It’s not very believable but like, it would be nice to be like that. To only be like that” she says, emphasizing on only. I nod at her, I guess she doesn’t realize how much alike they are. I get so caught up in her that I forget what I was going to say. I’m so consumed by her, so deeply and thoroughly that even her just babbling has me thinking about how much I love her and everything about her. I find myself leaning forward, grabbing the back of her neck with one of my hands and bringing her lips to mine.

The kiss is electrifying. It sends shivers down my spine and makes my mind all fuzzy. It’s slow but deep, giving a part of me to her. It’s like this every time, since the very first time we kissed. I didn’t know if she felt it like I did but I sure hoped she did. This is what made me believe in true love, her kisses. It brought a whole new meaning to everything. My life, my career, my writing, my understanding of my fans, my mind and thoughts. She brought out the best in me and I was so intensely grateful that she was mine and I was hers.

I’m brought back to reality by the small whimper that leaves her throat and her hand that was holding her head up is now wrapped around my wrist. She is up out of her position, knee walking the little space between us so she can straddle my waist. I lean back against the couch, my arms wrapping around her to hold her to me. She tilts her head and opens her mouth so that my tongue can find hers. Her fingers thread in my hair before gripping the ends of it firmly in her hands. It was my turn to groan into her mouth.

All too soon she’s pulling away resting her forehead against mine. I open my eyes to see hers still closed and a smile on her pretty face. “Well that was unexpected” she breathes against my lips as her fingernails scratch lightly against my scalp.

“I love you” I say in answer to her and she giggles.

“Shawn Mendes, you are something else” she chastises playfully and I smile toothily at her. She leans back just a bit so she can look at me properly. She licks her lips, tilting her head slightly to the left. “I love you too” she says in a quiet voice, her smile gone but a look in her eyes that gives me all the reassurance I need. My hands rest against her hips as I
sat up a bit, bringing her with me.

“But I love you, so much. You’re the girl in the script. Not like the actual girl but you know what I mean.” I put emphasis on love and stutter when I tell her she’s the girl. She looks at me with surprise on her face and it fades into one of love. I speak up again before she can say
something, “You’re everything I was wishing for when I wrote that song.” I tell
her and she leans in and hugs me tightly.

“You are so mind-blowingly cute and adorable I can’t stand it” she says around a chuckle and I let out a laugh with her as my hand rests
on the middle of her back.

Falling in love with the girl I wrote There’s Nothing Holding Me Back about was a fantasy love. Like how people fall in love with characters from a book or celebrity’s they’ve never met. It was wishful thinking, gave me hope that I could find someone like her. And then one day I did. This wonderfully amazing girl holding me in her arms.


length: 1,342 words

genre: rapper jimin au; a mix i guess?

summary: all of jimin’s past assistants have quit, will you do the same?

a/n: I’ve had this idea forever and finally decided to write it…also I rewrote this 5 times, and then half of it got deleted so I had to rewrite it from memory so sorry if it sucks a little haha, but i promise it’ll get better as it goes

Originally posted by sosjimin

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William Nylander - Part 6

In case anyone missed it, I now have masterposts for both my Matthews story and the Nylander one! Keeps everything nice and organized! 

After dinner we roll to a stop outside my apartment. An awkwardness comes over me and I have no idea what to do or say so I wait for him to break the silence.  

               “I’d ask to come in, but I think I hit my limit of making you do things today,” Will says, shifting into park and leaning back in his seat to look at me.

               I laugh and nod. “I would have said no anyway.” We both know it’s a lie.

               “Sure,” he humors me and our eyes meet. Instead of the tension rising, it seems to dissipate. I’m comfortable with him. It’s a shocking revelation. Just as is the fact that his hair is different shades of blonde almost, a natural highlight that I hadn’t noticed before.

               “Are you going to call me this time?”

               I hesitate a moment. “It’s possible.”

               He tilts his head down and gives me a skeptical look.

               “You never know, I could still be gathering evidence of your stalking incidents,” I tease, giving him a severe look.

               Will laughs, it rumbles in the enclosed space and my heart skips a beat. It’s a beautiful sound.

               “I guess anything is possible,” he says and we fall silent again. I don’t want to get out of the car and I don’t think he wants me to leave either.

               “Well, I’m sure my cat is very upset I didn’t spend my Sunday with her,” I start when the silence stretches on for too long, my hand reaching for the door handle. Silently begging him to stop me. He does.

               Will’s hand catches my wrist and I look back at him in question. He gives me a shy smile before leaning in and kissing my cheek gently.

               “Goodnight, Y/N,” he says, his breath raising goosebumps on my skin.

               “Will,” I say as a goodbye and lift myself out of the car, closing the door gently behind me. I don’t look back.

               The elevator dings, the doors closing after I press my floor number and I lean back against one of the walls, my head hitting the glass with a thud. The only reassuring thing that this hasn’t been a dream is the dull ache.

               “What the hell am I doing?” I ask myself aloud. You said yes to another date with Nathan for tomorrow yet you spent all day with a drop dead gorgeous hockey player and let him take you out to dinner and kiss your cheek and make your stomach do backflips and you are a horrible person. I let out a wail of despair once I’m in my apartment and Kota pins her ears back. Her eyes judgmental.

               “Don’t even start with me, Kota,” I snap, throwing some food into her bowl. I strip down in my bathroom and turn the water as hot as I can stand. Letting the water relax my muscles and steam the bathroom, I let my mind wander. It doesn’t surprise me when it lands on Will. I wonder what he’s doing. I wonder if he’s showering just like me. Oh you just had to go to a naked image, didn’t you? I scold myself and turn the scalding shower off.

               I don’t bother dressing myself, tying a robe around myself instead. Wandering out into the living room Kota is perched on her usual spot on the back of my couch. Her eyes are less judgmental now and she’s content to let me pet her head.

               “Oh Kota, two weeks ago I had no boys. Now I have two,” I whisper and she meows back. I don’t speak cat but I’m pretty sure she just asked me for more food.


               When my alarm sounds in the morning I bounce out of bed, always the morning person. I’m my most productive in the early hours of the day, hence the alarm at 6:30. I dress myself smartly, also key to being productive and twist my hair into messy bun. Kota bends between my legs as I gather my morning breakfast, nearly causing me to break my ankles twice.

               I pull up my schedule on my tablet as I stuff toast and eggs into my mouth. A lunch meeting with a few other editors at the office and several more manuscripts are due to be in my inbox when I arrive. They are never sent over email. Always a hard copy in my little tray in the office that I seldom use in downtown Toronto.

               With a free morning I get uninterrupted time to clean my apartment. One of my favorite things to do. There is just such a satisfying sound when the vacuum runs over my carpet, leaving that beautiful trail. My parents bought me a Roomba for Christmas, I exchanged it for a new coffee maker. Orderliness and cleanliness cannot be made by a robot.

               By the time I’m walking into the office, precisely nine minutes early, my mood is sky high. I greet the receptionist, janitor, a copy writer and three people I don’t know as I walk to the glass enclosure of a conference room. I remember now why I prefer to work from home. The ultramodern look and feel of the office is overwhelming at times. Everything too professional and cold for my liking.

               I take my usual seat, second on the right, back to the door and carefully lay all my papers and files before me in particular order. Movement to my left comes as a surprise but doesn’t scare me.

               “Here already? I thought you liked coming to meetings fifteen minutes late?” I say without looking up from my pad of paper that I always use to take notes on.

               “All good things must come to an end,” Jake sighs, placing my usual Caramel Macchiato before me before settling himself down in the third seat to the right. “Bartello said after the last meeting that I have to be good for three months and she will clear my record.”

               I scoff and shake my drink a few times before taking a sip. “I didn’t think you were afraid of Bartello.”

               “Yeah, well, I’m more afraid of having to go back to photocopying. Worst year of my life,” he replies. I finally glance up at him when he shuffles his papers out onto the table and my eyes widen. Jake’s usual unruly hair is smoothed to the side with a clean cut and his lazy attire is now freshly pressed and his tie is actually tied.

               Jake realizes I’m staring and his cheeks turn a faint pink. “What?” He asks self-consciously, eyeing me warily.

               “Goddamn Mattias,” I exclaim and his pink turns beet red. “You look fine as hell!”

               “Would you keep your voice down,” he mumbles furiously at me, busying himself with his papers while I snicker.

               “What’s her name? Is it the new receptionist? She looks like a total sweetheart, all rosy cheeks and pretty black curls. I can see it,” I nod and smirk at his obvious discomfort.

               “It’s not the receptionist,” he snaps and I press him with a stare. He knows I won’t let it go. “You’re not going to like my answer,” he says cautiously, his eyes darting to me and to the coffee in my hand.

               “What do you mean I won’t lik-“ I freeze in my words. Jake sees the revelation in my face and I can see sweat beading on his forehead. “No no no no no no…. Jacob Oscar Mattias you had better tell me that what I’m thinking is not true.”

               Jake swallows hard and glances at the exit to our left. “Jake, you had better tell me right now that you are not dating my sister,” I lower my voice and level him with a glare. He makes a noise in the back of his throat and licks his lips nervously.

               “YOU’RE DATING MY SISTER?” I yell and he jumps in his seat before grabbing my arm and glancing again over his shoulder where two of our coworkers are looking up from their desks.

               “Would you stop yelling?” He whispers, ducking his head closer to mine. “And please don’t hit me. I still have a bruise from six days ago at the last meeting.”

               I can feel murder on my face and I know he feels it.

               “You can’t act so surprised, you knew there was something there,” he says, leaning back in his seat. Clearly taking comfort in the fact that I can’t beat him over the head with my briefcase in the middle of the office.

               “But… it’s Rian… she’s my baby sister,” I squeak. Betrayal rushing over me like a broken dam.

               “She’s not a baby, Y/N. She’s barely two years younger than us. Three more months and she graduates. It’s not a huge deal!”

               “It is so! How long?” I demand, still seething.

               “Just a few days, two dates is all,” Jake answers, more tension leaving his body.

               “So after the game then?” I ask. Rian had been so nervous during the entirety of the car ride there and back, blushing at every word Jake had said. I had just thought it was a crush thing. Never did I imagine they would act on it.

               “Yes, after the game. When you didn’t answer me the next morning right away to ask how you were feeling, I called Rian to make sure everything was okay. It all kind of spiraled from there,” Jake shrugs and I press my lips into a hard line.

               “I texted you right when I woke up! How early did you call her?”

               “I was worried about you, Y/N. Nathan and Rian aren’t the only people that love you,” he snaps at me and my heart softens a little bit. But I’m still pissed he’s probably already kissed my baby sister.

               “Don’t you try and suck up to me now Mattias,” I snap back at him and he gives me a shifty grin. “So that’s what all this is about?” I ask, mussing his hair much to his annoyance.

               “Not really,” he says, shoving my hand away and attempting to smooth his black hair back out again. “Just ready for a change.”

               I give him a skeptical look but drop the topic as our coworkers slowly start filing in.

               “This isn’t over,” I mumble to him, bringing my drink to my lips. “No matter how many macchiatos you bring me.”

               The meeting goes as usual, someone gets yelled at but it’s not me or Jake so I don’t really care. I give Jake a dirty look every chance I get and he’s always quick to look away. Once everything is done and we gather our things, walking out the door together.  

               “All your dirty looks reminded me,” Jake starts once we are out of earshot of the others and in my office. “Rian mentioned you went out with William Nylander last night?” He raises his eyebrows and flops down in one of the seats across from my desk.

               I silently curse my sister for being a blabber mouth and fix Jake with a stare as I take my own seat and pick of the stack of manuscripts waiting for me. Fanning through them I reply. “Yeah, what about it?” I decide not to lie and I realize with a pang that I have yet to text Will.

               “It just surprises me because you went out with Nathan the other night and I think he mentioned something about going to a play tonight,” Jake says slowly and I smack my forehead with the stack of papers.

               “The play!” I moan and squeeze my eyes closed. I had completely forgotten.

               “Yeah…” Jake says a bit awkwardly, which I find ironic that he considers that to be awkward when I’m pretty certain he’s had his tongue down my little sister’s throat already.

               I sigh and lean back in my chair, replacing the papers onto my desk and tilt my head to look out the window.

               “I don’t know what I’m doing, Jake,” I whisper.

               “I’ve gathered that,” he nods and I look at him in surprise when he chuckles.


               He hesitates a moment, looking like he’s gathering his words first. “It’s just… so unlike you I guess. You’re a person who needs to be organized and even since high school you’ve always known what you wanted.” He shrugs and leans back as well. “I just never saw you as someone who plays the field.”

               “I am not playing the field!” I retort and glare at him. “And you seem very unconcerned that this involves your best friend and there’s a possibility that things aren’t going to work out between him and me.”

               Jake shrugs again much to my annoyance. “I never have thought of you two as a couple, you’re too similar I think,” he says slowly. “Besides, I wouldn’t really consider him as my best friend as of late, I’ve hardly seen or talked to him since the game. He’s so involved in everything at school and all of his coworkers at the hospital he’s doing his practical at… I think of you as my best friend more than Nate.”

               I turn my attention back out the window, letting Jake’s words sink in. I hadn’t realized until now that Jake is right. Nathan never even mentioned Jake when we were out the other day, all he really talked about what school and what his future hopefully consisted of. I don’t even think we talked about my own work. Glancing at Jake, I see his brow bunched together as he stares blankly at my desk.

               “I don’t think that’s true, Jake,” I say gently. “I think of you as my best friend as well, you’re the person I see the most to be completely honest. But Nathan is still your friend, he just has other priorities right now. It’s like when you and I were in our program, all we pretty much saw was each other. I don’t think we left each other’s sides for sixteen weeks,” I smile at him and he hesitantly reflects it back to me.

               “Don’t think about it too much, Jakey,” I reach forward and cover his hand with my own. “Nathan will snap out of it. You still have your best friend.”

               Jake stares at our hands and slowly nods his head. I hadn’t realized how much this affected him. A little bit of guilt flashes through me about yelling at him earlier.

               “Still going to the play tonight?” He asks after a few moments his sad expression replaced with a smirk, though he doesn’t remove his hand from mine.

               “You want to come? Rian would be down I’m sure,” I say, an idea already forming in my head. It’s not a date if your little sister comes. Jake seems to know exactly what I’m thinking and frowns at me.

               “Are you even into him?” He asks bluntly.

               I stare at him in silence, taking in his bronze skin and his even darker eyes. I can see why Rian gets giddy every time I mention him. “I don’t know, Jake,” I answer truthfully. “I really don’t. I had never thought about him in that way until recently, and even now… it’s strange. But also kinda nice?” I scrunch my nose, my mind in a million places at once.

               “But you need time,” Jake says and I nod.

               “I think so.”

               “And what about Will?”

               My cheeks heat and my heart skips a beat in my chest. My physical reaction is enough for Jake to nod.

               “Much different reaction,” he muses.

               “Much,” I agree quietly. I squeeze his hand once more before wiggling the mouse to my desktop to get the screen to wake up. “So you want a ticket for tonight?”

               “Yes, ma’am. Two please,” he winks at me and I scowl even though it was my idea.

               “Keep your damn hands to yourself when I’m around,” I growl at him as he stands and makes to leave my office. “I’m going to have nightmares for weeks now.”

               Jake gives me his goofy smile, the contrast of his white teeth again his brown skin makes me envious and I hate that he used my favorite smile against me.

               “Get out of my office.”

Think Again . . .

Think again–that’s what I’ve been doing since this last kerfuffle, dog and pony show, bait ‘n switch, push me/pull you, what-ever-you-want-to-call it circus. I’ve been thinking and feeling and processing your many heartfelt explanations and reactions.  I hear you all.

Love, money, and power– these motivate all of us, not just actors. Read any detective or mystery fiction, the motivation is some combination of these three things. And all three can be used for ill or for good. I need money to put a roof over my head and bread on the table. I can use money to support charities and the arts, or it can blind me to be greedy.  Most actors will have a 10 or 15 year career, if lucky. Exceptionally lucky ones will have longer. Did you watch the Feud?  Even A-listers can struggle at the end. I don’t begrudge actors endorsements or money made from cons. They’ll need the money from these later.  And buying art or a house can be good investments.

Their bodies are their instruments– face, figure, heart, mind. All will fade. All can be corrupted. Acting itself combines lying and truth. You are not the character (the lie), but you must represent the truth of what that character does, perceives, feels. There must show truth in the lie for acting to work.

To survive, actors need recognition– critics, box office, social media, some combination that gets them parts and better parts. Privacy that comes from obscurity is death, the end.  When we stop looking, they stop working.  Many actors do have private lives. They work hard to keep it that way.  Look how little Tobias gives away. But if you thrust your hip into your co-star’s groin, or if you post pics of your location, and your alleged SO posts pics from the same location, I’m sorry, but a plea for privacy seems disingenuous. And because nothing logically has added up for the last three years, I have to assume there’s been both truth and lies behind this– at least one lie, possibly two lies, maybe even three. Why? I’m not one to believe much in conspiracy theories. In general, I usually trust incompetence over conspiracies. And if by some wild chance there has been a conspiracy behind this mess, it’s an extremely incompetent one.  

On the other hand, Perhaps this has been a super clever ploy because I’m now quite ready to give these actors the gift of privacy. The heart wants what the heart wants. And that goes for me, too. I don’t care who they are with anymore, and I mean that without any bitterness. Truly, I wish them well. Their performances have given me pleasure.  I do care that fans have been disrespected, threatened, and called names. This has been done in the name of but not by the actors. I still believe these actors are essentially good people with good hearts and good intentions. I don’t know what choices they have had or what professional or personal pressures they have faced. I do know many fans are hurting and that saddens me, and it has affected me.  

I’m a consumer of art. I had Starz before Outlander, and I will have it after Outlander.  I’ve been a fan, and maybe I will stay a fan, or maybe I will just be a viewer. I don’t know. I read all the books after I started watching the show, and I still want to see how the show portrays the next two books. A fan does more than just watch a show. A fan is more invested both in love and in money than a viewer. A fan follows, clicks, likes, buys. A fan spreads the word. There’s no hurry for me. I don’t have to decide today. I’m still thinking, and thinking again. Time is on my side, and that is my power as a consumer.