like how do you even make them successfully


Originally posted by chimcheroo

Summary: “Stop stressing, give me attention.”

A/N: it’s just fluffy Jimin fluff☁️

“It’s dark out now…I guess we can stay in a watch a movie instead?”

He laid across the end of your bed scrolling through his phone. You felt bad that he came all the way over here and he’s had to entertain himself because you had work to do.

“I’m sorry, I can’t. None of my work is making any sense and I…I’m really stressed right now.“ You stared at your computer and all those words looked like bunched up lines. You’ve been working for hours now and you almost forgot what you were even doing.

“That’s why you need to take a break.” He spun around your chair and rested his hands on the arms of the chair, caging you in your seat.

“The more you look at it, the less sense it’s going to make. Come on, you need to relax.” He took off your reading glasses, sat them on your desk and kissed between your brows. You sighed, why was he like this? How could he make you drop everything just because he wanted you to? He smiled brightly, commending himself for successfully distracting you.

“Fine, but let me change into my pjs first.” You stretched your arms and stiff neck then went to your drawers. You slipped off your baggy t shirt and shorts and replaced them with the pajama set he gave you as an apology for being four hours late to pick you up from school, you didn’t talk to him for the whole day after that. While he waited patiently he watched you put your hair in a bun before you reached for your computer.

“Hey!” Suddenly he hugged you from behind and you tried to get out of his grip. He effortlessly picked you up, dropped himself back on your bed with his arms secured around your waist.

“Jimin- What’re you doing?” You pestered. He laughed, sitting up with you tightly held in his lap. You tried to stand up but he wasn’t budging, you gave up.

“Don’t do any more work tonight, you need to rest.” His tone was rather serious now, you opened your mouth as if to say something but it closed.


“Listen to me, just this once. I love you, Y/N, and I would hate to see you drive yourself sick because of work, it’s not worth it. It’s ok to take it easy every once in a while, ok?” You could hear the sincerity in his voice. He held you tightly, like his life depended on it. Sometimes you’d forget how thoughtful he was, how observant he was when it came to you.

“Ok…” You pouted slightly, knowing he wouldn’t have expected no anyway.

He hoped up and spun you around to kiss the corner of your lips. “Good, I’ll set up the movie and get popcorn.” He scurried out of your bedroom and you decided to go to the bathroom to freshen up. You did a simple face regimen before making your way to the living room. Jimin was sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and a large blanket.

“Any room for me?” You cooed. He looked you up and down, grinning to himself.

“Always.” He lifted the cover, showing you your spot. You didn’t hesitate to snuggle up next to him and grab a handful of popcorn. The movie went on for thirty minutes or so but you were knocked out only twenty minutes in.

“I love this part, it reminds me of- Y/N?…” He looked down at your now sleeping form and peered at your peaceful expression lovingly. He turned off the tv, sat the popcorn down and scooped you up. He carried you to your bed to placed you down gently, pulling the covers up so they just covered half your torso. When he saw you were comfortable he brushed a hand over your cheek, smiling at the way you stirred by even a simple touch, he adored you. Carefully he leaned down to press a weightless kiss on your brow, “Goodnight…”

One Condition

A/N: I had a couple requests on here and another couple on AO3 for a follow-up to Nothing to Discuss, where the reader and Spencer work things out. @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn


After leaving Spencer to take Henry to the hospital, you drove home in tears and crawled into bed, hoping to fall asleep, wake up tomorrow, and have all of this disappear. But apparently luck wasn’t on your side today. It was less than an hour later when you heard a steady stream of knocks at your door. “Y/N, open up!” Spencer screamed. “I’m not leaving, so you might as well just talk to me.”

He wasn’t going to leave and you knew it, so instead of screaming back, you walked to the door in a coma, your blanket still wrapped around you, and opened the door, quickly turning back toward the couch to take a seat as he let himself in. “How could you not tell me I’m going to be a father?” he yelled, his face red with rage. He must’ve dropped Henry off and run straight back here.

For some reason, you were almost zen. He was in the wrong, but so were you. You both had faults that you needed to work on. These had just been the cards life had dealt you. “Why did we break up?” you asked him flatly, your voice giving no indication to how you actually felt. 

You could see he wanted to yell, but he took a deep breath. “Because I was always at work, even when I didn’t have to be I wasn’t home. I was there.”

“Exactly,” you said. The tears had filled up in your eyes, but you weren’t actively crying. They just sort of fell from you. “For a reason I may never truly understand, you weren’t ready to commit to an actual give and take relationship with me. I was there for you when you needed me, but I rarely got the same in return. You stayed late in the office when you didn’t have to. And it’s not work, Spencer, I get that your job is unique, but it was as if you didn’t care to be home. I was second to your job, and I didn’t deserve to be, so I left.”

He knew you were right in that regard. After his few failed relationships coupled with the restraints of his job, he’d had a difficult time learning to balance the two - pretty much failing in regards to the relationship. “I’ve been comfortable in my job for over a decade,” he said softly, staring down to where your hand lay on your stomach. “I get that I was not ready for a relationship and I didn’t give you what you needed, but it’s hard and that doesn’t excuse you not telling me that I’m going to be a father.”

Your lip quivered as the tears fell, cascading in your mouth. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but when I found out, I was devastated. I’d always imagined having a baby, but I imagined having one when I was happy and in love, not reeling from hurt that my boyfriend couldn’t prioritize me in a relationship. Once I got over the initial shock, my mind immediately went to this baby being my be all and end all. This baby comes before everything else.” Standing up from the couch, you walked over to your bag and grabbed the sonogram picture for him. “If you couldn’t prioritize me, which you admit yourself was a problem, how was I supposed to expect you to do that for a child?”

“But I would’ve,” he said. “I will. I want to do right by you both.”

That was the problem. “That’s just it, Spence. I don’t want you to do right by this baby or me because you feel you need to. I have money. I have a mom and aunts that can help me. I don’t “need” your help. I want it. I want you to want us in your life. I want you to want to make us a priority. We aren’t a responsibility, we’re your family.” In your rambling, you hadn’t realized how worked up you’d gotten. You placed your hands on your hips and took a deep breath, not wanting to get worked up anymore for fear of what it would do to the baby. “You didn’t prioritize me then. How am I to expect that you want to do that for us now?”

He knew you had a point, sitting down on the chair across from you and staring at you for a moment. “Because I’ve changed. You’ve changed me. I know that I didn’t prioritize you like I should have. It’s difficult to learn how after years of being on your own. And I was scared. But I did and do still love you…and I want this baby.” He hadn’t looked up at you, his eyes and forefinger slowly glancing over the picture of the baby inside you. “Please give me the chance to prove that.”

When you’d come to the realization that you weren’t a priority for him, no matter how much he loved you, you’d been broken. “One condition,” you said, patting the seat next to you. He stood up and nodded, taking his place at your side. “Talk to JJ and Will. Ask them how they manage to do what they do. I mean in this case I would be Will, the one that’s home more often, but they seem to be able to do this successfully. Ask them how.” The guilt over not telling him overflowed, causing you to cry into his shoulder. “We both grew up without fathers, Spence. Yours walked out and never returned, and mine came in and out of my life as he pleased, when it was convenient for him. So I felt like an inconvenience. If you, for even one second, make this baby feel like they aren’t a priority, we are gone. I will not have our baby feeling the same way I did.”

Spencer placed his thumb under your chin and brought you up to meet his gaze. “I promise you I want this baby. And I want you. I understand you’re scared, and that we both have a lot of work to do, but let me prove that this is what I want.”

“Okay,” you said, allowing a smile to form on your face. It was a tentative one - and you were petrified of once again not feeling good enough, but you would give yourselves a chance to succeed at this. More than anything, you wanted a happy family. “I have an appointment next week to find out the sex of the baby. Do you wanna come?”

“Yes,” he replied quickly, placing his hand on your stomach. He took you off guard and bent his head down, kissing the top of your stomach and saying hello to the baby. “I’m your daddy. I promise you’ll know every day how loved you are.”

anonymous asked:

How do you typically respond to the argument claiming that "successfully passing" transwomen experience misogyny too, like for example when applying for a job and getting turned down for being perceived as female... I know it's totally different than actually being female, but how do you explain that difference to genderists... i.e. explain why that still doesn't mean feminism applies to them? I'm lacking an elegant response to that one...

Well A.) there’s rarely a “successfully passing” transwoman, though men seem more oblivious than women because men are ready to believe heels, long hair, make up = woman. 

B.) Even a transwoman who experiences misdirected misogyny has not grown up with misogyny or the type of socialization actual girls and women have dealt with their entire lives. 

and C.) many transwomen, clueless in their superficial appropriation, think the misdirected misogyny is something that happens uniquely to them or to transwomen and will continue to assert that actual women are “privileged”. 

Practical Epistemology 3: Nash’s Revenge

A game theory activity: get a group of people together, and give each a piece of paper. Everyone writes down a number from 0 to 100. The person whose number is closest to half the average of all written numbers (rounded down) wins. Specifically, they win a prize in dollars equal to all the numbers added together. Collusion is forbidden, and the prize may not be shared.

Usually, most people will pick fairly low numbers. A few, not totally understanding the core mechanic of the game, will pick numbers above 50, which brings up the average, and some lucky person will win a healthy prize.

You can do the math yourself to figure out why, but the Nash equilibrium of this game, contrary to how it usually goes in practice, is that every single person writes down the number 0, and nobody wins a dime.

Suppose that before everyone writes down their numbers, someone goes up to the whiteboard at the front of the classroom and explains, in great, totally convincing detail, why this must be the case.

Great! Now everyone’s smarter. And everyone picks 0, so everyone wins. Yet the prize is nothing.

In real world situations, it’s usually good to share the truth. Even though sometimes, like in the situation above, the truth makes everyone (collectively) worse off. There’s tension here; my view is that truth-speaking is a good heuristic to follow at least twice as far as you intuitively want to. So if you tell yourself “oh, well, the truth may be hazardous here, better lie,” you should only follow that intuition if you’re extremely sure you’re right. Even in the game theory case, maybe it’s worth it for more people to understand the truth than it is for one person to get a bunch of dollars. But that’s just my subjective opinion.

Now imagine the same game theory scenario as above, but this time, imagine the person at the whiteboard is wrong. Still totally convincing. Still nobody wins a dime. But in this scenario, imagine it was a different game, where the real Nash equilibrium was a good outcome.

It would have been nice if our spoiler was more epistemologically careful.

There are a few cases in politics where I think one of these two things is happening - a belief is causing damage, whether it’s true or false. I don’t know which. But insofar as it might be the latter, being more careful, rigorous, and contextual in our declarations would be nice.

1. The Devastation of the Middle Class

There’s an extremely popular meme that inequality is skyrocketing. Specifically, that the top few percent of earners are doing amazingly well, while the rest of the economy lags behind. Fair enough. And we’ve got stuff like Gini coefficients to measure this and prove to some extent that it’s true. But the story I see told about it does feel mighty compressed. Rhetoric quickly turns into “in this economy, you’re either totally screwed over and on the automation chopping block, or rocketing into the stratosphere with Elon Musk.”

What effect does this story have? I think it creates two attractors. I think so because I’ve felt both of them at different times.

First, if you’re in at all a disadvantageous financial position, it’s easy to throw your hands up, decide that the economy’s totally rigged, and not try very hard at all to do better. When I graduated from college, my goal was to make $12 an hour within a year or two. That was it, despite going to one of the best colleges my state had to offer, and despite other demographic (unfair) advantages like being tall and white. If I’d known that the average salary for recent college grads was twice as much as that, I might have set my sights higher. But as it was, applying for dozens of jobs sounded desperate and unlikely to do any good. I only applied for a couple, and lucked out. Suddenly I found myself reasonably middle class, and annoyed that everyone had trumpeted to me that that was supposed to be impossible now.

Second, if you’re one of the luckier few, it’s easy to panic and try desperately to climb to higher gradients to feel safe. If most of the economy is falling and a tiny chunk is rising, it feels vital to get up to that chunk. For example, as a programmer I sometimes worry about doing kinds of programming that will be automated sooner, rather than the kinds that are more likely to be stratospheric. Once the meme is solidified that only the top of the pyramid is worthwhile, anyone with a shot at the top of the pyramid is likely to seek it with any tactics necessary, and those already there will defend their territory aggressively as well.

Oh well. If it’s true, it’s true. If the middle class is evaporating catastrophically, people should know.

But maybe be really, really careful before you declare that it’s so, and maybe circumscribe your claims with ample context, lest you make the problem worse.

[CW: Sexual Assault - this is just a second example, so stop reading now if you want with no real information loss]

2. The Hopelessness of Sexual Assault Prosecution

There’s another popular meme that sexual assault victims (specifically ones who would like their assailants punished) are almost never successful in bringing their assailants to justice, that every step of the the legal process is heavily biased against them, that cops never listen to their accounts, and that sexual assault being basically excusable is heavily normalized in the culture.

If you’re a victim, believing this will make you much less likely to seek help. Why seek help, if it never works? And of course, not seeking help only feeds the statistics about how nobody successfully brings their assailants to justice.

And, even worse, malicious people inclined to assault are more likely to do it if they believe the meme that people who do so never get caught.

Oh well. If it’s true, it’s true. If sexual assault victims face an insurmountable uphill battle getting justice, people should know.

But maybe be really, really careful before you declare that it’s so, and maybe also mention things like the 58% conviction rate for rape (virtually equivalent with that of other crimes, so at least that one step in the process seems to work okay), lest you make the problem worse.

i’m rewatching the slice girls (for the third time this week BITE ME) and just. emma. jesus holy christ emma winchester i love you so much.

the part where she says “my mother threw me in that place, and my father-” her voice breaks. could be acting, yeah. but then, you know, there are tears in her eyes when she yells THREE DAYS AGO I WASN’T ALIVE

she has sam’s puppy eyes down

and then when they argue?? she’s such a bratty teen <3

the anger: I WOULDN’T BE HERE IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU. that’s genuine. that was real. most of it is a script the amazons gave her, a way to coax dean into relaxing so she can kill him, but bits of her anger, her doubt at the injustice of it all, they bleed through - “So far, my childhood’s been kind of disappointing.”

and at the end? when she begs him, please don’t let him hurt me, she looks genuinely scared, like a small animal cornered by a predator

she seemed to really believe that it was what she’d been made to do, also - that amazon brainwashing ran so deep; i have no doubt that the mark of harmonia was not the only torture the amazon girls had to go through (“to be strong you have to bear the pain” etc etc etc - a single burn/brand, even though it is awful, isn’t exactly strengthening pain) and as a result they must come out the other side so twisted, so hating the elders and their mothers and their fathers and knowing only that they have a mission

and i bet once they’ve successfully completed initiation, they’re showered with affection or something, because that’s how an abusive situation works - make them feel worthless, degrade them, drill it into them they’re only worth something if they succeed, and when they do make them think you love them so they won’t hate you, won’t fight the system you’ve put in place. i mean it’s horrible, but if generation after generation of amazonian was raised like this, their entire society would be based around this cycle. they wouldn’t even question it, because it’s The Cause.

emma was a victim of a terrible situation and she should have been given a chance or at least allowed to resurface, angry and bitter and loathing, in purgatory

Happy LATE Birthday to feminist14er! Your pal ottersandotherstuff sent me this prompt  and suggested I write it for your birthday and I think it worked out pretty well. 
(I had an anon send a similar prompt, anon, I will probably do yours as well!) 

It’s here on ao3

For that “I fucked up” thing with the cheesecake
. What if it was Bellamy getting really drunk and eating Octavia’s cheesecake and Clarke takes his phone away but Octavia texts back “Did you finally confess your love to Clarke?” and Clarke sees the message…

“You started without me!” Clarke dropped her purse onto the couch next to Bellamy who was mostly asleep with his hand propping up his chin.

There was a bottle of empty vodka on the coffee table and Animal Planet was on, a special about cheetahs droned about top speeds in the background. Bellamy startled awake and gave her a goofy smile.

“I warned you when I texted you at lunch that it was a really bad day,” he said, stumbling over every other syllable.

“Mine was bad, too! We were supposed to get smashed together, not me taking care of you,” Clarke whined.

Keep reading

Don’t think about the rules while writing.

People will tell you lots of rules about writing: how to do POV shifts, the rules of magic, use of adverbs, and whatnot. But there’s so damn many rules out there that if you try to concentrate on all of them when you write, you’ll get paralyzed with fear of suckage and never write anything. Or worse, write something and then delete it again.

Don’t think. Just write. If you switch tenses 30 times in 30 pages, who cares? You’re getting words down. That’s the important part. Because no matter how bad it sucks, you can fix it later.

The time to think about the rules is AFTER you’ve written something. Did you accidentally headhop on page 33? You can fix it. Does it have too many unnecessary adverbs? You can fix that too. Is your plot a big tangled mess you can’t even make sense of? Yep, you guessed it…even that is fixable.

And then, if you happen to have broken some rules, you can decide whether it works better that way. Every rule you can think of has been broken successfully at some point. But if you start from a standpoint of “I must do it THIS way” you’re cutting out a lot of possibilities. You don’t even know what your story looks like yet, so how can you decide which rules will fit it?

Don’t break ALL the rules. Just some of them. ;)

chelseaannestuff  asked:

Part 1: I'm a SQ shipper and my sister is a CSer, so you can imagine all the debates we have. One argument that she keeps repeating is that the writers won't go the SQ route because in the eyes of the GA (or people not on tumblr), it will have come out of nowhere and thus make no sense (she reads Emma and Regina as best friends). I've told her that over time, AE have made it more and more obvious (also explained the whole planting of the seed thing), but she just thinks I'm actively searching

Part 2: it out/seeing what I want to see in support of my ship. What’s your take on this? In terms of AE making SQ known to the GA. Are they on the path to successfully doing this?

Sounds like you could indeed have some lively discussions at the dinner table.

I’ve noticed that regardless of their sexuality, some people notice it and some people just don’t. I think @orphanswanqueen makes some good points about how they are not coded like best friends which you can probably use. At the end of the day, it just comes down to heteronormativity and people not being used to seeing it unless it’s spelled out for them. Even gay people aren’t all used to recognizing it because it doesn’t happen very often when it’s not spelled out from the very first time you meet a character what their sexuality is.

SwanQueen is the biggest f/f ship on AO3, this fandom has many people who identify as straight. All of that didn’t happen in a vacuum. Rizzoli and Isles has admitted to queer baiting and yet their fan output isn’t even as big. If you look at the numbers, there’s a real arrogance in saying all those people are just projecting something that isn’t there at all. Clearly people are collectively picking up on Swan Queen. There are prominent female friendships on other shows and none of them are being seen as romantic by so many people in the way Swan Queen is. 

I’ve seen quite a few posts of people who suddenly started noticing it. Many people came on board during season four, I think. While the fandom isn’t the General Audience, people who join fandom were General Audience once. They’re not completely unrelated either. And ironically whatever your sister accuses you of about shipping, can be turned around to be about her. CS may be a canon relationship, but so is their toxicity she’s choosing not to see. The only thing she has on her side is that heterosexuality is the norm. She is right about the writers having to work extra to make the GA see, while if they were a m/f pairing, nobody would question end game based on their interactions during the pilot alone. In fact, they would have had to be far more subtle to keep people questioning if they wanted it to be a slow burn.

I do think they have planted enough seeds and the people who don’t see the subtext just won’t see it. She’s right about that. So all the writers have to do is make it text. All they have to do is make Emma textually come out of the closet for example. Explain that she was afraid because there are no queer fairy tale princesses and give her a flash back where things with Lily ended badly because they got caught. Give her a credible backstory for a deep closet and they can go there. They just have to take it from subtext to text. People might accuse them of having it coming out of the blue, but once they go back, they’ll see what we’ve been talking about all along. There’s plenty for A&E to point at if they were going to do SQ. 

All that being said, in my experience, it’s better not to really argue. I do believe season 5 is going to give us clarity whether or not this is queer baiting or if this is going somewhere beyond maybe a last minute reveal at the end of the show. So instead of arguing about it… take a page from the heterosexual book. Be arrogant about it. Be mysterious about it. Stop sharing what you see. Nod solemnly and as if you know something she doesn’t. Don’t try to convince her of something she doesn’t want to see either. She ships CS, she’s emotionally invested just like you are. It’s normal. She doesn’t see the other option. We can’t even blame her. It’s up to the show to do it. Just make her wonder about your change in attitude instead… and have that power point presentation about queer baiting ready for after season 5. Just in case. ;)