like how did anyone put up with that

Things to Think About

Name one Layton villain who

  1. doesn’t have a relatable motive.
  2. doesn’t have a tragic backstory.
  3. doesn’t get redeemed or otherwise repent.

OH, WAIT.

THE GUY WHO KILLED ~10 PEOPLE, INCLUDING HIS OWN COLLEAGUE AND SEVERAL INNOCENT BYSTANDERS, JUST TO MAKE HIMSELF GET A LOT OF MONEY, THEN DENIED ANY INVOLVEMENT, TOOK THE BLOOD MONEY, AND USED THEIR DEATHS TO CLIMB THE POLITICAL LADDER, THEN SENT THUGS TO HOSPITALIZE THE NICEST PERSON WHO EVER LIVED ON EARTH, THEN HAD CLIVE ARRESTED AND GAVE THE MOST HYPOCRITICAL SPEECH EVER ABOUT HOW HE’S SICKENED BY CRIMINALS AND IN THE END NEVER FACED ANY OF THE CONSEQUENCES FOR HIS CRIMES.

YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD’VE BEEN A PREFERABLE ENDING TO HIS STORY?

  • Legal Luke crushing him in Future London
  • Dimitri actually putting him in a time machine that would blow up, killing him like it did Claire
  • Layton leaving him in the Mobile Fortress
  • Someone pushing him out of the Laytonmobile
  • Inspector Chelmey arresting him
  • Someone, anyone making sure the word got out about what he did so he loses his position and all his money and has the entire world turned against him so that he can’t go anywhere without people mocking him nonstop
  • ANYTHING BUT HIM NOT FACING ANY OF THE CONSEQUENCES FOR HIS CRIMES
Dean Drabble #11


Submitted By: @chaos-and-the-calm67

Dean glanced at the computer screen and shook his head. How on earth did anyone shop online like this? So many of the same things from different manufactures all claiming their product was better. All he wanted was to surprise you with a new crib for the nursery. Your baby was due in two months and he was excited and nervous all at the same time. Granted this was round number two but still.
Sighing he put the laptop away and got up going to your daughters room. He loved watching her sleep and loved and hated her growing up so fast. Soon she would be two and the new baby would be here. Then there would be more diapers, whining and crying but he wouldn’t change any of it for anything.
The day he married you he swore he could never love someone so much as he loved you. Then little Grace was born and he knew he was wrong for he loved that little pink bundle with every fiber of his being as much if not more than he loved you. Again he thought he would not love you both more than anything, until you said you were pregnant again.
Smiling he tucked her in a little more and kissed her tiny head coming into bed where you were sleeping. He climbs in next to you and kiss your head. He knows his heart was going to grow again in two months’ time and he wasn’t ever going to change his life with his family.  
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@torn-and-frayed  

i don’t why i did the thing but i did the thing.

Secret Trio(Danny, Randy, Jake) and Traffic Light Trio (Zak, Rex, Ben) + bonus Chiro bc i like his design and couldn’t think of anyone else to put there.

in case my sketch is too messy>>> randy is in jail, dan is the one with his back turned, the guy in the bottom-right corner is the kid from super robot monkey team

EXO as people at my school before exams
  • D.o: sits in silence with earbuds in listening to classical music because he read somewhere that boosts brain activity, if someone attempts to talk to him he just ignores or glares at them
  • Suho: is super anxious even though they studied harder than anyone else did, keeps mentioning how worried they are and freaking other people out
  • Sehun: Looked at the textbook before they slept, naturally intelligent so does not give two fucks likely to pass anyways
  • Kai: Person who overslept and came to exam late with 2 custard cream biscuits shoved in their mouth
  • Baekhyun: Puts book on face and just screams when confronted about weirdness says "Im absorbing the knowledge m8 shut up"
  • Chanyeol: A broken soul did minimal revision is trying to cram 15 minutes before exam keeps breaking into deep thought dramatically staring into distance looking depressed as hell
  • Chen: Is not even trying and is playing rave music in study hall getting glares from everyone but is ignoring them and playing music louder
  • Xiumin: Seems calm but when asked how they feel about exam replies with "Im going to die" and face plants onto table
  • Lay: Has studied the hardest and worried the most ,has terrible health from studying too hard, Is calm on exam day but is screaming internally also likely to pass with high grades
19 days (fake) scenario

He-Tian X  Mo Guan Shan

(Mo walking up to He-Tian after the confrontation with She-li)

‘’Why in the fish dicks would you do that?! For me?! Is it so you can use me, humiliate me and mess with me like you did before? Whatever it is, don’t think I’ll-‘’

‘’Are you finished’’. (Gets closer to Mo)

‘’W-what?’’ (Steps back)

‘’Don’t compare me with that disgrace of a human being (puts his hand to Mo’s face and gets even closer). And for the record. I don’t just kiss anyone, but if you want to find out how disgusting I can get, then by all means continue’’.

(Mo fights back) ‘’Like hell I-

(He-tian kisses him on the cheek and leaves Mo behind with a worried expression).  

The Godfather (Jimin)

Requested: Yeah once again @rapmontrashqueen asked for this. tbh like 90% of my fluff is requested by her so you guys can thank her.  Also my requests are open!
Genre: Fluff
Word count:1,196

Masterlist - Mobile Masterlist

Keep reading

“…Sewed me back together like I did to your doll’s arm last week. And then I woke up in the pitch black, inside a coffin, and had to dig my way out of my own grave. Can you believe that? Can you believe Dad didn’t have the decency to put me on solid ground before ditching?”

Cas leans against the doorjamb and crosses his arms. “I had no control over your corporeal form once you were back on earth,” he interrupts.

“Excuse me, did we ask you?” Dean responds in mock annoyance.

“Are you sure this is an appropriate conversation for a 6-year-old, Dean?”

Dean looks at their daughter and then turns back to Cas with a shrug. “Dude, she’s been running around the house with a pot on her face pretending to be Max Rockatansky for the past week. I think she can handle it.”

Castiel sighs long-sufferingly and steps into the room so he can join his family. He sits with them at the miniature table, his knees bent at an awkward angle from being in a chair made for toddlers. He tugs on one of his daughter’s braids. “What has your father told you already, Sam?”

“He went to Mordor! And it was really hot and he was in the lava, and you came and saved him because you were an angel with wings and stuff. But he doesn’t remember you until you met a couple days later on earth.”

“That’s very good,” Cas comments before turning to Dean. “And why are we telling this story in the first place?”

“It’s your amniversity!”

Dean bops her on the nose. “Anniversary, baby girl. Of when your dad and I met.”

“Didn’t you just tell her about our wedding on that anniversary? And about our first date on that anniversary? Or what about the–”

“Dad likes amniversities,” Sam explains like it’s completely obvious.

Dean smiles at her affectionately, and Cas’ chest tightens in response. “Yes, well, your dad is an old sap.”

“Says the guy who cried on your sixth birthday, right, Sammy?”

“Hey, that was different!”

Cas is drowned out by Dean and Samantha laughing at him as they high five. For the thousandth time he wonders how their adopted daughter ended up being an exact replica of Dean Winchester. 

Maybe Dean will explain that on the anniversary of when they got her. 

lilietsblog replied to your post “(that horrifying “hey guys, did you know? the suffering ends NOW”…”

your professor is weird. we have an oral practice class for English (as future teachers) and while we are meant to just, you know, practice speaking english, the first several lessons were on public speaking and were very specific about where to put your arms, where to look, how to modulate your voice etc. like no assumptions just straight up ‘you probably arent perfect at this yet’ which was not wrong for anyone neurotypical or not. so :\ @ your prof

quite frankly my professor is full of it and always assumes she knows what’s going on in her students’ heads

today she shared this big revelation with us, on how everybody’s trouble with the “th” sounds actually just stems from the fact that they don’t know that there are two of them - voiced and voiceless - which? might be true for some people? i guess?

but most speakers’ tendencies would suggest otherwise? we consistently replace the voiced ‘th’ with ‘d’ and the unvoiced one with ‘f’, clearly we know there’s a difference? it’s not a theoretical fault, dental fricatives are just hard to produce when you don’t have them in your native language and already got used to your compensation strategies

For Anyone Who Has Never Met Scömìche

Scott

- Will amaze u with how tall he is
- Will ask if u are cold and hug ten people at once
- Puts his arm around u in a way that can only be described as biblical
- Smells like fucking angel tears and vanilla
- Will duck down for a selfie as he is a tol bean
- Bobs up and down awkwardly while u get ur phone ready like a cute lil sweetheart ( princegrassi )

Mitch

- Stays w Scott if they’re together
- Wraps his arms round ur neck like u have known him all ur life
- Is wearing the NICEST CLOTHES like even if it’s a sweater it’s the NiCest
- Smiles the biggest and loveliest smile when u get a picture
- Has a higher pitched voice than on camera but it is so sweet and nice
-THE SWING OF HIS HIPS AS HE WALKS AWAY ❤️🙏🏼💯

anonymous asked:

i really like your blog! it's one of the best scenario blogs out there! can i request fluffy headcanons for sakamoto and toshi with really short s.o?

Thank you so much! I personally like writing for short s.o.s bc I’m a smol bean too.


Sakamoto:

- this boy is tall af like… 5′11″… geez (I realize he isn’t like super super tall but anyone over 5′4″ is super tall to me)

- he loves how adorably tiny you are.

- like how did I end up with this smol bean

- likes holding you up and spinning you around

- he basically completely surrounds you with his body when you cuddle

- likes to tease you about your height playfully

Hijikata:

- is so gentle with you bc he’s scared of breaking you

- sMOL BEAN S.O. MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTSSSS

- he unconsciously ends up putting all the important stuff on the top shelves bc he thinks it cute when you try to reach up to get them and fail

- lowkey likes giving you piggyback rides

- afraid of losing you in a crowd so he makes you hold his hand at all times

- loves when you stand on your tip toes to kiss him he gets so flustered when you surprise him with them tho rip toshi

“Did you ever finish your history homework?”

They got the luck of being in the same American History class together. However in truth, they had every class together. He could take her to school and take her home. He didn’t much like public transportation, and the old man would never forgive him if something happened to her. She was a good influence as he like to put it. “It’s due in a few days, but I’ve got it done. I’ve been trying to study but…”

He drifted for a second. There was a test coming up, and he did his best to prepare, but she knew more than anyone how much distraction was in his life. “I may have to hide at your house. My old man keeps finding something for me to do every time I come home, so I never get the time. I like your Aunt’s cooking anyway. I could just knock on the door.” He smirked slightly as he poured over her. “Say I’m lookin’ for you, and hope she lets me stay for dinner.”

She knew that look, that tone he used, it wasn’t anything different from the tone every other boy, and a few girls used on her once or twice. His had a much higher success rate however, more successful than she would ever have liked to admit. They grew up together, next door to one another, playing tag got old eventually.

In a tone tinged with exasperation, she let out a sigh. “Adam, if you wanna come over to fuck… Just say so.”

so today I was talking to my 9th grade Earth Science teacher about the stuff I do in TV Studio, and he reminded me of my video on project he assigned on plate tectonics or something like that that he still considered to be one of the best videos he’d ever recieved. I told him I didn’t have the video anymore and he was like “oh I think I still have it do you want me to find it for you?” AND I JUST!!! YEAH MAN!!!! I lost the flash drive that had the original file on it so I was really happy to be able get it back!! bUT THEN GOING BACK AND WATCHING IT AGAIN IS JUST LIKE

IT’S AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER LIKE I’M CRINGING SO HARD AT JUST THE ACTING AND THE FLATLY RECORDED VOICEOVERS AND THE OUTDATED REFERENCES AND THE EDITING AND THE BAD AUDIO LEVELS BUT ALSO LIKE?? OH MY GOSH MY VIDEOS HAVE GOTTEN SO MUCH BETTER OVER THE YEARS???? DANG I DON’T THINK I REALIZED JUST HOW MUCH BETTER QUALITY THE STUFF I MAKE NOW IS COMPARED TO BACK THEN UNTIL I WATCHED THAT LIKE OMG

3

OK, but you guys, Eliot’s Santa wig has wee braids up the sides.

So the question, then, is did Eliot get bored and start braiding his own hair? Or did someone put them in for him?

And I feel like Parker’s probably the obvious assumption here, because she’s a girl and she has fingers to weave secrets into the cheap plastic hair of a mall Santa costume. Allow me, though, to suggest another possibility: Hardison. Because, see. Parker grew up in foster care and bounced around and was mostly ignored. Every single time we see her in flashback, she’s got her hair in a ponytail. I’m kinda hard pressed to think that anyone would’ve taken the time to teach Parker how to do something as simple and girlish as braiding.

Hardison, on the other hand, grew up with his Nana and a whole revolving cast of kids. There’s literally nothing you can say that would convince me that Alec Hardison–sweet, helpful Hardison with his soft, marshmallowy center of love and affection for every goddamn person he meets–doesn’t know how to change a diaper, bathe a small child, figure out if someone’s shoes fit, make up a bottle, cook mac and cheese and hot dogs, etc, etc. You bet your ass that Hardison knows how to braid, and is damn fine at it, too.

abronzeagegod  asked:

23. 29. 41. 44.

i was very confused for a minute bc shortly after rb’ing that, i went to take a nice long nap and the only thing i remembered was those overwatch asks that only had 20 questions…. but ok! let’s do this thing!

23. What does your character dislike in other people? The knight, perhaps obviously, doesn’t like duplicity, cowardice, or people who do wrong. In the beginning of the story, she is very strict about her vows (which may not always line up how you’d expect) and holds a bit of a black and white view about who is worthy of being saved and who should be put to death. The thief also has strong opinions about morality and dislikes anyone who uses their power in a way that counters those beliefs. *cough* no they totally won’t dislike each other in particular ways when they start out >.>

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true? The knight was expected to, and expecting to, continue in the family trade- some form of honest labor… mining or farming or something similar. I’m not sure it would be a “dream” but that’s where she was planning to be. Not anymore. Similarly, the thief had expectations (that I won’t talk about bc plot twist!) that were put on her that she could not fulfill at the time, but is now attempting to do so in her own way and that is the main plot of the story.

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first? The knight definitely feels like she has to earn everything. Anything given is a gift from her patron god and should be used in his name, and anything she wants that isn’t given wasn’t meant to be hers. The thief… she knows she has to work for things to an extent. She’s had to work for things for the last several years at least. That said, she does have an underlying sense of entitlement, like if she fulfills certain prerequisites, the goal will be hers. She will have everything she wants if she works hard enough for it. There is no “try your best, do everything right, fail anyway” for her. 

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say I love you? Can they say it without meaning it? I feel like I’ve seen and answered this question before, but just in case… I hope I have the same answer still. For the knight, she would have trouble saying it even if she did mean it. She compartmentalizes her life into the things that she does for her job and the things that she attempts to eliminate from her life. If it doesn’t help her fulfill her purpose, she has no desire for it and that includes love. She’ll fight it every step of the way because she thinks it is a distraction and that she’s not worthy of that kind of connection. For the thief, she’s an accomplished wordsmith and can easily tell people anything they want to hear if it suits her. She’d say it early and often if she meant it.

character questions

I just feel like I need to put this out there.

I do not, in anyway, blame anyone involved in this community on how the last episode affected my mental health or my stability. I am way better than before I found it. I was a wreck, honestly. I do not regret this experience, regarding my mental health. 

If you feel like I, in anyway, am encouraging you or was encouraging a reading you did not have before, and you blame me for putting your hopes up, I will take the blame and you can honestly come talk to me if you feel like it. I made my first attempt in meta, and it blew up, and if you are hurting because that gave you hope and now your hope has been crushed: I am sorry. I am truly sorry. 

My reading of the show and my opinion on the meta are still the same. I can not question my sanity right now. I know what I’ve seen, and the queer reading, to me was, and still is, the one that I feel like makes more sense. To me, before TJLC, this blog was my thoughts, and things I liked, and what I found funny. I got over 4x as much followers than I had back then. I do not know how to handle it, but I promise you I am trying my best. If you feel like I’ve hurt you in anyway, feel free to trash me. I am not joking. Anon my ass. Send me a message. Whatever it is you have to do to. If blaming someone will help, you can blame me. And I feel like there’s a lot to blame on me right now. 

I hope I can help. Even if I was not the one that made you believe, even if you never considered my meta, even if my shitposting is not something you engage… I hope I can be of some help, in times where it has been so hard for so many of us. I really feel responsible, even if I don’t see myself as having any influence on you, I might have. I do not see myself as having a lot of influence, but I… I just want to put this out there in the chance I’ve had the influence to hurt someone. I don’t want to hurt anyone. Ever. I am sorry if I did. 

If you want to keep yourself away from TJLC or Johnlock,  please unfollow me. I need this as an outlet right now. I need this people, and I need to… I need this. I’ve had this blog for 7 years, and it’s purpose was always to be a safe place for myself, I am sorry if it turned into not being a safe place for you. I am so so so sorry.  

My ask is always open (you, being a follower or not) , and you can come and talk to me whenever you feel like it. 

Keep reading

Did you fool the world like you tried to do?

With all the smiles and giggles faking all day through?

The jokes and making everyone feel happy like you always do?

Did you put on that mask this morning to hide the real you?

Does anyone know that you’re dying inside?

Does anyone notice how hard you try, to cover up tears with glistening eyes?

Do they see the end of your life like you dream of when it’s late every night?

Do they know that you talk yourself out of swallowing a bottle of pills?

Do they know that one cut down your wrists would be such a thrill?

Do they realize that your soul’s ripped to shreds?

That you’re mentally unstable and can’t handle shit else?

No one knows that those smiles are hell.

No one knows that you can barely tell, whether you’re dead or alive.

No one knows that you’re dying inside.

—  Autopsy of Andy
drunk!wars

rey: giggly drunk, laughs a lot. tells people how pretty they are. dances like a dork. needs at least four days of sleep to recover before she wants to talk to anyone again.

finn: responsible. takes everyones keys before they go out. puts them in cabs at the end of the night. knows his limits.

poe: asks a lot of random questions. probably tells weird stories that never happened. comes up with really bad ideas. tries to convince finn that these ideas are actually good ideas. gets told he is pretty by rey at least fourteen times.

kylo: sad drunk. starts fights with people but ends up crying. has an existential crisis. wonders why rey doesn’t think he’s pretty.

hux: denies he is drunk, but is actually very drunk. yells over the music. can’t hear anything.

phasma: can drink anything. exhibits no major change in personality. mysterious drunk. always goes missing.

bb8: key storage unit. loves everyone, wants to keep everyone safe and happy. is excited by everything. the world is beautiful!!! takes peoples shoes off before they crawl into bed. makes hangover pancakes.

what just happened

movie: the maze runner
character: newt/reader x reader/newt
rating: comical, bit fluffy references to smut
plot: a strange device turns up in the glade that swaps bodies over unfortunately two best mates end up swapping bodies and have to try to act like each other till they work out how to get back 

newts pov

the glade was quie like normal now i was putting the tools back in the shed from gardening today when i hear a voice behind me “evening shuck face” the female voice says i know who it is my best friend here Y/N technically she did just insult me but thats what he do and before anyone thinks anything no i don’t like her as more than a friend sort of alright i do its the only girl how can i not “evening klunk brain” i say in reply turning to face her we both then walk of to get some dinner sitting with minho, thomas and chuck just discussing normal stuff till the alarm for the box went of it’s late today we all run over as the box opens there’s not much in it just one small thing in the bottom alby jumps down and gets it its a small metal object looks odd like nothing i’ve ever seen before there’s a note on it that alby reads out “this should mix stuff up a bit, two people alone together in a space then activate” he reads 
“so who’s gonna see what it is” gally asks at my side 
“suggest Y/N she’s good with the weird stuff” i say its true using the window into the maze Y/N analysed the grievers helping us to understand them she was good with weird stuff  
“sure” alby says passing it to her “but on no condition activate it” at that everyone begins to disperse after a while of talking to some of the guys i look around for Y/N but she’s not around she must be in her room with the thing so i bid the guys goodnight and go up to her room in the homestead i don’t bother knocking  as i often don’t and just walk in and sit on the bed she’s working with the thing on her desk looking deep in her work “hey” i say

“hi” she replys not turning or even moving at all

“so what you found out about the thing” i ask 

“nothing” she replied

“what do you mean nothing” i ask

“i have found out nothing” she says turning to face me “this thing is sealed shut i cant open it there’s no clue as to what it is now get out” she says

“why” i ask

“because apparently two people in a room makes this do something i don’t what to activate it by accident with you in here as well newt i don’t have a clue what it will do” she says

“well how do you activate it” i ask

“from what i can tell each person holds a end of it press the button on the top and it does something” she says 

“well why don’t we try” i say

“no you heard alby on no condition are we to activate it” she says

“but if there’s nothing more to do why not try if it messes up we learn if alby asks it went of by accident” i say

after a long time of Y/N obviously thinking “what the hell” she says standing up with the object in her hand we both take one end of it and stand ready to find out what the hell it does she presses the button and i blacked out oh god please don’t say im dead oh Y/N you killed us or maybe not my eyes clear and i stand but everything seems strange different i can’t quiet but my finger on it though i look at my self to see if i have and injuries and what the hell i have tits what the bloody hell i look around the room to see a boy tall blonde laying on the floor passed out he then wakes up and looks at me confused “oh god” he laughs but its Y/N’s voice “im in your body and your in mine brilliant” he/she says

“what the hell thats me” i ask

“yeah newt this is what you look like” im just gonna go with Y/N says

“what then im in you” i ask

“yeah, now get over here and lets get back to our real bodies” Y/N says

we both then get the device and hold it like we had before i press the button and nothing Y/N then pressed the button and nothing “please don’t tell me this is happening”Y/N says

“what, what what’s happening” i ask

“if my assumption is right were stuck like this we can’t change back” Y/N says 

“then what are we gonna do” i ask

“i think we will have to stay like this till i can work out how to get us back” Y/N  says sitting back down on the chair working with the thing again i just sit back on the bed busy admiring this new form running these hands around everywhere to see what this bodys like i cant help but stare at this new chest 

“NEWT”Y/N shouts

“what” i ask

“stop it” Y/N says very annoyed 

“stop what” i ask

“stop staring” Y/N says

“ im not staring im investigating” i reply 

“well cut it out, you’re not gonna have that body for long so just sit quietly and dont touch anything” Y/N says very angry how can i just sit quietly i have time in the body of a girl how can i not be curious i’ve never seen any girl but Y/N   well i probably have i just don’t remember.

“i cant help it Y/N im curious im sure you are” i say to Y/N

“no im not newt, i don’t care about what your body looks like i have to work on getting us back into our right bodys before you get a bit too curious” Y/N  says sighing and yawning obviously tired

“if you want we can go to sleep and work all day tomorrow” i say

“fine but we both have to stay here we can’t risk someone finding out what’s happened” Y/N  said standing up and walking over to be sat on the bed beside me or well her this is confusing 

“so how are we gonna do this” i ask

“i dont know i hope i can fix us tomorrow but if i can we need some rules as we don’t know how long its gonna take” Y/N says

“fine” i answer

“first hands off at all times for both of us no exploring okay

two we need a alibi as to why we will be spending so much time together and sleeping in the same room i suggest we are fake dating” Y/N says well i like that idea 

“fine were fake dating” i say rather happy about it i then move so im leaning against the headboard making a face to try and tell Y/N to join me in bed but Y/N just gets up and lays on the floor whatever this is gonna go well isnt it.

time skip

i was woken up by Y/N in my body a strange thing to wake up to she was shaking me frantically obviously somethings happened “what, did you work out how to get us back” i ask

“no slightly more important problem” Y/N said panicking

“way wow okay slow down that problem” i ask

“i need to bathroom” Y/N says

“so” i ask a tad confused as to the problem 

“do you need reminding newt im in your body your in mine” Y/N says 

“no i know that what’s the problem okay sure you need to bathroom so go” i say

“newt, think about what the problem may be” Y/N says

“no explain” i say

“one: the bathroom is a load of guys with there junk out a place i have made a promise never to enter okay

secondly: i can’t use the bathroom i dont know how to” Y/N says 

“what do you mean you don’t know how to” i laugh

“i don’t know how to use the bathroom with this thing” Y/N says “it’s weird”

“hey you said hands of no exploring” i say a bit concerned of she’s seen it

“yes but i need the bathroom newt how do you guys do it” Y/N asks

“im not explaining” i say

Y/N pov

“im not explaining it” newt says

“why not” i ask

“because you shouldn’t have looked at it Y/N i didn’t look at any of your stuff last night did i” newt says

“no you had a very look look and a feel around didn’t you” i say

“i did not” newt says sounding in pain 

“what’s wrong now” i ask 

“i dont know just a lot of sudden pains” newt says putting his hand on the bottom of my stomach oh no if its what i think it is im not changing back yet a while if its what i think it is and by the date i would guess it is my period brilliant if newts getting it not me now i want to see him tell me im over reacting like he always does now he can see what i have to go though “is it like a sharp pain like someone stabbing you with lots of knives” i ask

“yeah” newt answers laying on the bed girping my stomach  

“okay i have a theory, drop your pants” i say

“WHAT” he says very alarmed

“newt its my body drop them” i say again

“why” he asks

“because i wont know the answer till you drop your pants” i say “but keep your eyes shut i don’t what you looking newt” i say 

“fine” he sighs before undoing the pants i always wear and shutting his eyes okay i know just from the state of my knickers i know yep i started this morning okay even if i fix the device im waiting till after this week so he gets to know what it feels like i then put the pants back properly “yep as i suspected” i say smirking

“what’s wrong with me or well you” he asks

“my body is on a period newt you have to deal with it because you always say i over dramatise it so you deal with it now” i laugh 

“oh god does it hurt this much every time” he complains

“yep plus your gonna be bleeding and mood swings and cravings al that good stuff” i laugh happy its not me

“what am i met to do Y/N “ he asks

“well you need pain killers, tampons and bed” i say

“right what the hell is a tampon” he asks very confused  i then walk over to a draw in my room and get on out and throw it at him i can tell by the look on my face he has no clue “you stick that up your well my downstairs and blood doesn’t go everywhere” i say

“ah” he says dropping it out of disgust

“or you can but a special sort of towel in your knickers” i say

“option two” he says 

well this is gonna be a fun few days isnt it i just hope i can fix this thing and get back to my body and i still need the bathroom i dont know how im gonna get around having to see it oh god im gonna have to see newts,,,,thing  

oh great.

Hartwin fic: An Uncanny Resemblance

It was something Eggsy had noticed before, of course. Hell, he had seen it almost right away, although it had taken him a few days before he could actually put a name to that nagging feeling of resemblance. But it wasn’t until they had been together a couple months that Eggsy finally asked. 

“Harry,” he said. It was a rainy Saturday and they were sitting in a shop, waiting to see if the rain would let up before they ventured out. “Anyone ever tell you you look just like Col—" 

At Harry’s sharp look, he fell silent. He raised an eyebrow. "Guess so." 

Harry did not look amused. "Do you have any idea,” he said, “how difficult it can be to maintain your cover when complete strangers come up to you asking for your autograph?”

Eggsy fought hard not to laugh. “Oh, come on,” he said. “There’s gotta be something good about it." 

"No,” Harry said coolly. “There is not." 

"But just think,” Eggsy said. He leaned across the table, getting into it now. “You could get all kinds of neat stuff that way. Mr. Bigshot Actor demanding the fucking red carpet treatment." 

Harry shook his head. "That will only work once. And I’ve yet to find a situation where I need to resort to such…deceit." 

That time Eggsy did laugh. "Harry, you’re a spy! Deceit is your job." 

"Yes,” Harry sniffed, “but at least I have standards." 

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