like honey child

Imagine:

You and Tom have nothing but a sexual relationship which you both agreed on. As time goes by, he starts to develop strong feelings for you and tells you about it, but you insist on keeping things casual. Now every time you have a sexual encounter, Tom gets extremely irritated when you get up, get changed and leave immediately after. This constantly leads to the most terrible arguments and he even tells you he feels used and that nothing means anything to you.

2

One, two, three
Bitches!

Headcanon time!!!

everyone would do anything for upa because he’s building 5′s kid and he’s very cute and VERY convincing.(the only person who he doesn’t need to convince is liang. liang is down for anything for his little brother).This is how they end up doing shit like that and samon, The Dad, always finds out the last rip you old man

not pictured: qi because he is the whiskey uncle who lets his nephews do whatever 

  • Robert: Are you two in love?
  • Alec: Love? What? No. No, it's uh, it's sort of a different-
  • Magnus: *where is he going with this, is he about to say it's a different feeling, is he heading down the path to LUST, 'nah it's not love, right now I just really kind of want to bone him' IS NOT THE KIND OF THING YOU SAY TO YOUR FATHER ALEXANDER*
  • Magnus, calmly: It's all very new.
  • Robert, who also saw where this was going: ...right

I LOVE Stefan Salvatore and I LOVE Caroline Forbes, and I love their friendship, especially seasons 2-4 4.5ish. I just hate their relationship and them as a couple. To me it doesn’t feel like a genuine best friend turned into lovers relationship. I really disliked how Caroline pushed so hard for Stefan to love her. I hate how Stefan felt like he was obligated to date her because “ oh she likes me? Well guess I’ll try that now…”.

 Like Caroline honey, babycakes, sunshine child, do you not know the other men in your life who have choose you first and wanted to date you from the damn beginning without you having to beg them to love you? Did you forget Tyler, your high school love who broke his sire bond to fucking Klaus Mikleason for you? Oh let’s talk about Klaus for a sec! That motherfucker loves you and your dumbass. Did you forget everything he has said to you? Hell even Alaric is a better choice! Girl come on, don’t kid yourself. Stefan will never love you a fraction of the amount he loves Elena Gilbert. 

Stefan, my man, my darling, my sweet stupid son. BOI STOP KIDDING YOURSELF WITH THIS CAROLINE SHIT. You and I both know that you love Elena Gilbert. Like honey run away from this town, go to school to be a doctor, and find a nice girl who doesn’t have to beg you to love her and point out the fact that she is madly in love with you.

I feel like Caroline and Stefan are that cliche couple that says, “ if we’re not married to someone else by the time we’re 40 we’ll get married.” Which if that was what they were going for, cool fine no problem with that. But don’t pretend that it’s this epic love story that has been planned since season 1 which we all know is a big fat lie. Don’t act like this shit isn’t thrown together at last minute because Caroline and Julie fucked up Stelena, Forwood, and Klaroline so they put St@lin3 together. 

End rant

It is time for us all to decide who we are/what’s the price we might pay
—  My heart, my soul
MUSICAL SENTENCE STARTERS.
  • โ Uh, do whatever you want, I'm super dead! โž
  • โ You have a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's very important. โž
  • โ Ring ring, hello? Oh, hold on, it's for you - it's second place. โž
  • โ You know that I ain't bragging. โž
  • โ I'm reading this from Wikipedia, so it has to be true. โž
  • โ Let's hatch a plot blacker than the kettle callin' the pot. โž
  • โ I bet I've got til lunch at least before everyone sees I'm a spaz! โž
  • โ I'm not very hungry - just gimme a double Polar Burger with everything and a cherry soda with chocolate ice cream. โž
  • โ Missed your midterms and flunked shampoo! โž
  • โ Hey turn around, bend over, I'll show you where my shoe fits. โž
  • โ Is that unfair? -- Oh wait, I don't care. โž
  • โ The truth is that you're such a dork, you kinda make it cool. โž
  • โ We got more balls than the team we cheer for! โž
  • โ Miss Goody Two Shoes makes me wanna barf. โž
  • โ Even mocking cheerleaders cannot hide the emptiness in my soul. โž
  • โ They're dogs! No! Lower than that, they're fleas on dogs! โž
  • โ I'm a trust fund baby, you can trust me. โž
  • โ The dinosaurs choked on the dust, they died because God said they must. โž
  • โ Happy kitties, sleepy puppies, tiny duckies, sparkly ponies... โž
  • โ My teen angst bullshit has a body count. โž
  • โ Give my love to the leprechauns. โž
  • โ I thought you were a spoiled, rich, uptight little white bitch now I think you're just white. โž
  • โ I am tired of living alone with my cat! โž
  • โ You drink a lot of Red Bull, don't you? โž
  • โ If I get blood on the carpet my mother will kill me. โž
  • โ Some say that I'm a pompous creep - somehow I don't lose that much sleep. โž
  • โ Such a blunder. Sometimes it makes me wonder why I even bring the thunder. โž
  • โ Shakin' at the high school hop. โž
  • โ I've got lots of experience with not fitting in. Do you need some pointers? โž
  • โ Ugh. You've got a left hand, use it. โž
  • โ Showing up here took some guts, time to rip 'em out. โž
  • โ Keep that pelvis far from me! โž
  • โ Thanks, but I don't need voices in my head today. โž
  • โ You don't wanna hear all the horny details. โž
  • โ I gotta go get my asthma spray... โž
  • โ Your perfume smells like your daddy's got money. โž
  • โ Does your mommy know you eat all this crap? โž
  • โ Jesus, you're making me sound like Air Supply. โž
  • โ Language, honey child, please. โž
  • โ Like a beautiful blonde pineapple. โž
  • โ I don't rat my hair! โž
  • โ My dog speaks more eloquently than thee. โž
  • โ Damn, you're in worse shape than the national debt is in. โž
  • โ You're my last meal on death row. โž
  • โ I've got a big butt, well so what? It's good as any other! โž
  • โ I led a protest march against insensitive cartoons! โž
  • โ Some people are SO touchy. โž
  • โ Mama gave birth to the hand-jive. โž
  • โ It's hot in here and kinda smells like someone wet the bed... โž
  • โ Oh... I wanted to answer the puppy question? โž
  • โ You're absolutely right - should have shot him in the mouth, that would've shut him up. โž
  • โ I haven't slept since 1992. โž
  • โ Malum in se is an action evil in itself. Assault, murder, white shoes after labor day. โž
  • โ You need a cite a more specific grievance. Here's an itemized list of all these years of diagreements. โž
  • โ Donate my car to crippled kids, or to those ghetto moms on crack. โž
  • โ I'm, like, gonna cry - I got tears comin' outta my nose! โž
  • โ Keep your filthy paws off of my silky drawers. โž
  • โ Color me stoked. โž
  • โ Yo, who the f is this? โž
  • โ You've got the best friggin shoes! โž
  • โ Keep it positive as you slap her to the floor! โž
  • โ Come on! Let's go krunkin' in the parking lot! โž
  • โ I've come of age to be a raging castrating bitch! โž
  • โ I'll be Socrates throwing verbal rocks at these mediocrities. โž
  • โ Really stick it to the phallocentric war machine! โž
  • โ Must we all descend into madness? โž
  • โ It's a work of genius. I couldn't undo it if I tried.... and I tried. โž
  • โ Dear God... it's scented. โž
  • โ Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. โž
  • โ So go on, here's my head, just hit it with a rock. โž
  • โ I want a devil in skin tight leather. โž
  • โ You've come so far why now are you pulling on my dick? โž
  • โ You know, for a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure. โž
  • โ You ain't never caught a rabbit. โž
  • โ Honestly, it's kind of draining... โž
  • โ I just did what you wished you could but you don't have the balls. โž
  • โ I'm dazzling! Magnificent! I am the one percent! โž
  • โ Now what I'm going to say may seem indelicate... โž
  • โ I'm gonna French kiss with tongue like I dreamed I'd do - and not just with my pillow! โž
  • โ It's like hearing a ticking sound coming from unmarked packages! โž
  • โ Someone's had their morning coffee... โž
  • โ We're what killed the dinosaurs! โž
  • โ I don't know what you heard, but whatever it is, they started it. โž
  • โ Fine, okay, I'm gay! โž
  • โ You can set my bones and I know CPR. โž
  • โ Immigrants - we get the job done. โž
  • โ Man. What rich, romantic planet are you from? โž
  • โ Whaaaaaaat. โž
  • โ What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending. โž
  • โ Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. โž
  • โ Awesome... wow. โž
  • โ I'm bigger than John Lennon! โž
  • โ I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love. โž
  • โ If you're going for mediocre, you've done great! โž
  • โ Alright, we can't break out of here, but we sure can break a sweat! โž
  • โ Gotta be going to that malt shop in the sky. โž
  • โ It's got groove! It's got meaning! โž
  • โ When I fight I make the other side panicky! โž
  • โ That is a metro hetero jerk! โž
  • โ Love is like forever this is no time to economize! โž
  • โ Their thinkin' is stinkin' and a little outdated. โž
  • โ I'm probably too cool for you, so friend request denied. โž
  • โ You're on Jiffy Pop detail. โž
  • โ I don't have to always be right - when I'm with you, I just am. โž
  • โ I'm raisin' hell and I'm a felon in a four foot frame. โž
  • โ Guys who wear that get beat up on my street. โž
  • โ It's like making love to you all night, NO WAIT! It feels so much better! โž
  • โ No sleep for you, better chug that Mountain Dew. โž
  • โ All I got was a running nose and Asiatic flu. โž
  • โ You ain't no friend of mine. โž
  • โ We have fought on like, seventy-five different fronts. โž
  • โ I'm not freaking out, I'm really okay, I'm totally chill. โž
  • โ If your Irish boy tires of you, you're allowed to shoot him in the knees. โž
  • โ You ever see somebody ruin their own life? โž
  • โ The more you jump around and scream, the sexier you seem. โž
  • โ Peachy keen, jellybean. โž
  • โ Both your hair and shoes are flat. โž
  • โ Lookin' hot, Cream of Mushroom! โž

A story for @submissivesolas Week featuring my older, non-binary Inquisitor, Sulahean Lavellan, based on my own ace-spec relationship.

He pulled away and our lips parted.

โ€œDonโ€™t go,โ€ I said, catching his elbow in my hand. The anchor sparked quietly, my every breath threatening to shatter our moment. My heart strained against the confines of my binder.

He, like so many other things, could pass me by.

โ€œIt would be easier in the long run,โ€ Solas said, his face twisting into a mask of sorrow. โ€œBut losing youโ€ฆโ€

Like that, we were in each otherโ€™s arms again. I felt his svelte form tense against my own as we pulled hungrily at each otherโ€™s lips. He smelled of dirt and rain and fur, wild things, and yet he moved with an elegance I had never encountered before.

โ€œI donโ€™t worry about the long run,โ€ I said, breaking free for the briefest moment of air.

โ€œIโ€™ve hardly heard a greater lie, I see the future in your eyes,โ€ he said, pressing his forehead against mine. I crushed my lips against his.

Keep reading

don’t call valentina boring because she will take that as a dare and you will be regretting your words when you’re doing something insane like visiting an abandoned warehouse or running from the cops after being discovered visiting said warehouse

#343: 'None The Wiser'

Keep reading

  • Coworker (recognizing my supernatural pendant): oh are you a fan of supernatural?
  • Me: .... yes
  • Coworker: oh cool most people I know don't watch it that close. They tell me I'm too obsessed
  • Me: ............. there's no such thing.
  • Me on the inside: ok but are you a Dean girl. Do you know what shipping is. What is your opinion on Cas. Do you like Sam do you miss Gabriel do you hate metatron how do I ask the important things without coming across as crazy arrrrrrrrrrgh
a year of matilda, part 2 - the newtildas

now that i’ve discussed at length everything i loved about the original quartet of matildas, it’s time to move on to the newtildas.  i was so sad when the original girls left - i knew the new girls would be good, but i think most of us had a really special place in our hearts for oona, milly, sophia and bailey, and ripley, paige, ava and gabby had a big job ahead of them.  but they captured our hearts and now we’re just as sad to see them move on to other things. 

best paige moments:

- paige’s voice is enormous.  i don’t know how such a big, full sound can come out of such a tiny little girl.  she shakes the rafters every time she hits one of the big notes.

- she’s an incredible dancer.  usually i don’t notice matilda in bruce, because i tend to sit to the far right - it makes it easier to see matilda’s expressions during the scenes with her family, which i like to watch for.  but paige was really attention-getting during that number. 

- maybe it’s because of her dance skills, but her body was very expressive during the stories.  if i got sick of holding up my binoculars and put them down, i could still get a great sense of what was happening onstage by paige’s body language. 

- she was also really graceful - usually when the girls imitate the acrobat during the beginning of the first story, it’s a bit of a jerky motion as they try to balance on one foot on the narrow block.  but paige really looked as though she were embodying the acrobat who was so skilled it seemed as if she could actually fly.

- she brought the SASS.  i prefer the more damaged matildas, but paige was bold and tough, very different from the others.  i like when the girls aren’t afraid to be a little different and take their own approach to the role, even if it’s something i don’t personally respond to.  a lot of people loved this aspect of paige’s performance!

- sometimes when she was reading in the corner, she’d make faces like she was responding to what she was “reading."  i never saw another matilda do that.

- i didn’t notice this until someone else pointed it out, but when mr. wormwood rips up her book, paige would do the flinches along with the accompanying notes, but where a lot of girls made it a but noteworthy gesture, paige would just slightly cringe away from him while staring longingly at her book.  it really made you think about the battering - if not physical than emotional - matilda took every day living with her family.  it seemed like a genuine fear response and it was heartwrenching.

- when mrs. phelps told her they had no revenge section, paige just slumped over in this hilariously defeated posture like "welp, there goes that.  library, how could you fail me?!”

- usually the girls look thoughtful or mildly curious when miss honey gives them the scarf.  paige looks FREAKED THE HELL OUT, which i think is  a really great response.  i mean, think about it - wouldn’t you be the tiniest bit scared to realize what she’s realizing just then? 

best ava moments:

- ava is another matilda with a huge, expressive and unusually mature voice.  her control is great and i’ve never heard her miss a note or a breath.

- whenever she bobbled a line - i saw her a few times very early on in her run; it happens - she never reacted, just kept on speaking, and it never interrupted her performances at all.  it just made her sound like a little kid.  during one show she for some reason just couldn’t get out “maybe you used some of mummy’s peroxide by mistake” but if you didn’t know the show inside-out like we do, you’d have thought that’s how the line was written, to sound like matilda is nervous and stammering, because ava never lost focus for a second and just stayed in character and kept going.  i thought it was really impressive for such a young actress in front of such a huge crowd. 

- ava has some unique line deliveries that make her really seem like she doesn’t know she’s special.  for example, how she says “i love books,” she sounds so beside herself with excitement to talk about her favorite thing you kind of expect her to fall over with joy. 

- ava’s stories were truly spectacular, especially the third story.  she had be on the edge of my seat in suspense, even though i knew how the trick ends!

- the fourth time i saw her, earlier this month, was one of the greatest performances i’ve ever seen from any matilda.  everything came together for her.  i’m providing a link to that review, because if i raved about everything that went right that show, i’ll just be rewriting the entire post, but please do take a look if you haven’t read it.  as an added incentive, there’s an audio download link. please do read it. 

http://krokodile.tumblr.com/post/92308526735

best ripley moments:

okay, those of you who read my posts regularly know that ripley is my favorite matilda of all time.  she’s a brilliant little actress, and also very special to me personally, as a friend of mine has a professional relationship with the sobos and constantly talks about how wonderful they are (i’ve had a few conversations with her dad and i totally get it - he is indeed wonderful.  he just adores ripley so much; he’s like a real-life magnus!  and he’s such a sweet, friendly guy.  i’ve only spoken to ripley once briefly but she seems like a delightful kid; i assume her mom and brother are just as great), especially ripley.  so i’ve had a soft spot for ripley long before she was matilda, but i honestly don’t think it affects my feelings about her matilda.  

- ripley is present in EVERY MOMENT she is onstage.  she reacts to everything.  she makes a face like “this seems like flawed reasoning” when she sings “dad says i should watch more tv,” she makes hilarious WTF? faces when her parents praise michael’s brilliance, you can see the light bulb go off over her head during the naughty reprise when she sees the hat rack.  she shoves tea and biscuits into her mouth like a child who isn’t fed regularly; she leans into miss honey like a child who’s never felt a loving touch in her life.  she’s just genuinely living every moment as matilda and makes sure to telegraph every thought and emotion to the audience.  it’s truly remarkable for any performer, but especially a ten-year-old child.

- she sometimes delivers “that’s not right” like she genuinely thinks her father doesn’t understand these things and she wants to help him out, and she seems truly hopeful that her mother might want to hear a story this time. 

- she rocks every moment of naughty.  her poses, movements and expressions are just hilarious and made even more endearing by the fact that she’s so little she can barely reach the spot she’s meant to lean on on the doorframe.  she makes me laugh out loud every time when she sings the first “sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty.”

- she looks ready to burst into tears when miss honey offers to bring her books.  ugh, my heart.

- her “that’s not right!” at the end of bruce is always awesome.  she comes out snorting and heaving and charging like an angry bull and she bellows the line with such conviction the audience always responds.

- likewise, her “big fat bully!” gets cheers and applause every time.  as it should - she’s fierce. 

- she and jill have a really sweet relationship as miss honey and matilda.  jill will sometimes nudge her shoulder or touch her forehead to ripley’s, and it’s very sweet, and ripley gazes at miss honey with complete adoration, giving the cutest little smiles when miss honey shows her attention.  it’s just so heartwarming to see them realizing that they’ve finally found a loving family. 

the rest of these are pulled straight from other reviews because they’re specific ripley moments i loved and don’t want to rephrase.  i would just put links, but unlike the ava review, this is just bits and pieces pulled instead of the full review:

- during the scene where she’s trying to get miss honey to call the police, she seemed PISSED.  the entire show she’d been playing it angry from the get-go, but WOW.  i actually felt really horrible for miss honey, because ripley was practically up in her face screaming at her, not in confused or frustration, but FURY.  it made sense - matilda of all people knows damn well that justice will never be served if you don’t stand up for it and ripley seemed completely outraged that miss honey was willing to let herself be treated that way and let magnus’s murderer get away with it. 

- when miss honey put the scarf around her neck, she was working it through her fingers and whispering to herself like she was trying to put it together.  it was a nice touch.

- when she said “i’ve seen your life - i’ve seen your life!” she gave it a really different spin.  usually the girls just shout it twice like they’re trying to give the idea emphasis, but ripley’s delivery was more like “it’s real, i’ve seen your life!  …i’ve…seen your life?”  like “okay, this…this is unexpected and kind of terrifying.” 

- another line she delivered differently than usual was “watch, please.”  usually the girls lean heavily on the “please” because they’re getting a  bit frantic and frustrated.  ripley very softly said “…please?” like she was totally anticipating being denied.  it was so sweet and sad.

- when miss honey held out her hand to matilda to help her up the steps into her house, ripley broke into this huge delighted grin like that tiny gesture touched her greatly. 

- when everyone was stunned after the times table recitation, ripley looked around the classroom with an odd expression, like “what’s everyone staring at?”  it really brought home the idea of matilda having no idea that she’s exceptional.

- when she first spotted miss honey at the library, she ducked behind one of the shelves and peeked her head around so miss honey wouldn’t notice her looking at her. 

- her delivery of “i don’t know yet; i’ll tell you tomorrow” after the second story was incredibly funny.  she just seemed so totally unconcerned and oblivious to mrs. phelps freaking out behind her. 

- her sheer panic when her father rips up her book and threatens to ban her from the library are sincerely upsetting.  she’s furious but also terrified, and seeing her matilda that helpless is heartbreaking. 

- likewise, she was trembling and sobbing on the ground when miss trunchbull was bawling her out before quiet.  coupling that with ripley’s impossibly small size and christopher sieber’s giant and genuinely scary trunchbull, that moment crossed over into being actually difficult to watch.

- her “spain, but why?” delivery was again different.  she started off confused with “spain, but…?” and then her voice dropped and she very suspiciously said “why?” like she was thinking “oh what have you done now you IDIOT?” 

i truly am going to miss each and every one of these girls, but ripley is one in a million.  i wish they announced final shows so i could see hers. 

best gabriella moments:

- it’s not a moment exactly, but gabby is just so serious.  with those big brown eyes and giant shock of dark hair in that pale, owlish face, it’s hard not to feel immense sympathy for her.  she just seems like an unhappy child who’s resigned herself to a crappy childhood.  you really do want to run onstage and rescue her, even though you know she’s going to do a damn fine job of rescuing herself. 

- during one show she got a little dreamy smile singing “was written in the stars before they’d even met” - it was a really cute touch.

- she gets so lost in her stories - she appears to get startled and jump when mrs. phelps speaks to her and shakes her down to reality when she reaches the ends of the stories.  it gives the impression she’s really channeling these stories from somewhere rather than just reciting them. 

- during one show, the actor playing miss trunchbull (i think it was ben that day, but not sure) flubbed a line matilda responds to, and gabby covered like an expert.  

- gabby’s “quiet” rivals bailey’s in terms of flawless acting as well as beautiful singing.  when she sings “like silence, but not really silent” etc, you can see her searching her mind for the right words to express what she’s experiencing.  and when she hits “anymore” it’s absolutely beautiful. 

- gabby’s best moment IMO is “i’m here."  i’m quoting a past review again because i don’t think i can explain it better:

the other moment i noticed specifically was during i’m here when she sang “let me wipe away your tears.”  there was something all at once so childlike and so maternal about the gesture; it so perfectly embodied the relationship i always envisioned between little jenny and magnus.  again, i can’t describe it, but it broke my heart in the best possible way. 

- gabby’s matilda is really desperate for an adult to care about her.  she gets so excited by mrs. phelps’s attention, and from the moment miss honey walks onstage, her matilda is completely besotted with her, staring at her, (very occasionally) smiling at her, with every fiber of her being begging this woman she adores and respects to return those feelings.  she looks so sad for miss honey during my house, and downright confused whenever miss honey shows her kindness, like she wants to be loved but at the same time she doesn’t understand why she’s getting it, and she looks really upset and nervous when she asks miss honey what "this thing with her eyes” is, and when she confesses to miss honey that her father hates her, like she’s waiting for miss honey to realize that she’s really not worth any of this niceness and there’s something wrong with her.  you just want to hug this kid and tell her it’s everyone else who’s wrong and she’s truly a miracle.  it makes the final moments with miss honey even more wonderful. 

don’t forget to like this post (this post you’re reading right now, not the one i’m linking to talking about the giveaway) after reading to be entered in my playbill giveaway, outlined here:

http://krokodile.tumblr.com/post/95247422190

and please comment if you have favorite moments from the newtildas you want to mention!