like he just brings up harry potter for no reason

Moonlight

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Words: 1,958

Warnings: Angst, a little bit of blood and sometimes (mild) cursing.

{ English isn’t my first language, so sorry for grammar mistakes! }

Y/N: Your Name

I worked reaaaaaally hard on this, so.. I hope you’ll enjoy it!


A low sigh escaped your mouth. You were shivering and nervous. All kind of bad thoughts lingered through your mind. You couldn’t help it, maybe this was a bad idea. You put away the thought as a warm hand grabbed yours. 

You looked into the soft grey eyes of the partner you had chosen to pick for this task. Only two people know you’ve signed up for this task. At least, that was your plan. Moody was one of the people who knew about this as you had signed up for this. But… he didn’t let you sign up for this right away.

-One week earlier-

‘Moody, I can do this! Just trust me,’ you said. Moody shook his head. ‘I can’t risk it Y/N,’ he said. ‘What if- what if you die? This is a dangerous task, you can’t do this alone.’

You sighed. ‘Come on! I can- I’ll prove it.’ He shook his head again. ‘Y/N…’ he started. ‘Remus will kill me if something happens to you, and above all no one can do this alone. There will be thirty deatheaters present for Merlin’s sake!’ he said with angry voice.

‘But someone will,’ you said calmly. ‘Why can’t I do this? This is a task, eventually people will sign up for this task. Because it has to be done, it is a possibility that we can kill as many deatheaters as possible, isn’t it?’ you said, now with an unfavourable voice. ‘So, why not me?’ you asked.

Moody looked down at his desk. ‘Merlin’s beard, I can’t believe I’m going to do this,’ he muttered. He looked up to face you, and pointed his index finger at you. ‘You get a partner other than Remus and you can go. But please for Merlin’s sake be careful,’ he whispered.

You nodded. ‘Thank you Moody,’ you said while he wrote your name on the form. 

-Present day-

‘Y/N, it will be alright. We can do this,’ the boy told you. You nodded, but the bad thoughts didn’t go away. Instead more thoughts came up. 

‘What if I will never see Remus again, nor the rest of the order?’

‘What if Remus hates me now?’

‘What if I was just too stupid to think I could do this task in the first place?’

‘What if…?’

You sighed shivering. ‘Sirius.. .’ you said.

That was right, you had chosen Sirius Black to be your partner. He was the only person that would go with you. You knew that. Remus would do it too, but Remus would first try to convince you to stay home. That wasn’t what you wanted.

Sirius after all, wouldn’t ask any questions. He knew that you had thought about things before you would ask him to go with you. Especially with things this dangerously.

You and Sirius had a complicated relationship. You were friends, but still you both cared a lot about each other. In a way you care about James, Peter, Lily, Marlene… Remus nor anyone else.

‘We have to attack when only ten or maybe twelve of the deatheaters are only present. Otherwise we cannot attack them, they’re with too many,’ you said. Sirius looked at you and nodded. ‘Alright, but that can take hours Y/N. We have to kill or injure at least twenty of them at first,’ he said.

‘We can’t, that will draw too much attention,’ you said. ‘You’re right, but what then?’ he asked. An idea came up. ‘Maybe…’ you said. ‘We can conjure a silent spell, if we do so we can push it back to the others. In one smooth way, we can kill a few at once,’ you said.

‘That’s too hard, we can’t do that. That takes years of practice.’ Sirius said. ‘We can try!’ you demanded. He was silence, he then looked up to you and nodded. ‘Alright, but let me go first,’ he said. You wanted to argue, but he silent you. ‘No, please Y/N let me do this.’ You stared at him for a moment and then sighed and nodded. ‘Alright, but please be bloody careful.’

Sirius stood up from the place they were hiding. He looked around the corner of the wall you were sitting against. And conjured a spell. Not the one you expected he would conjure.

Instead of the killing curse he conjured the cruciatus curse. You wanted to tell him not to but you shut yourself before you could draw any attention. 

A painful scream could be heard. You winched at the scream you heard. You couldn’t handle the pain that sounded through the halls of the large mansion.

Sirius turned around and you stood up so that he faced you. ‘What the hell do you think you are doing? Who did you conjure the spell to?! We are supposed to give the deatheaters a quick death, and we are not supposed to torture them to death!’ you whispered angry. ‘It’s the same, they deserve it! And you know that!’ he fought back.

You looked at Sirius and then realized something. ‘How the hell did you conjure the cruciatus curse anyways? That takes years of practice. And you can only conjure it when-,’ you stopped talking. ‘You only truly mean it’ you said so quietly that you doubted he could hear it.

You could run, or you could fight whoever was standing in front of you. But you had to make your choice quick, because… That wasn’t Sirius who’s standing in front of you. 

‘Y/N, they deserve it,’ the person said while taking your arm. You pulled your arm back. ‘What did you do to Sirius?’ you whispered. The person looked confused at you. ‘Y/N….’ ‘What did you do for Merlin’s sake to Sirius!’ you now shouted. 

You didn’t care anymore that anyone could hear you in the mansion. You were already doomed. 

The person looked at you and a grimace slowly appeared on Sirius’s face. You shivered, when… your legs started shaking. It became harder to breath and when you realized who was truly screaming.

You ran away from the person that was standing beside you. You ran and ran and you became nauseous. The mansion felt like hell now. It looked like the black coloured walls worked their way over to you. 

You saw a body lying on the white coloured floor. The body was screaming and the sound overwhelmed you as you could only hear that sound. The body was covered in blood and you ran faster to help him. 

The body was surrounded by deatheaters. You conjured the killing curse on them but they were with too many. They evaded the spells but didn’t fight back. 

You kneeled in front of the body. You cried while you tried to conjure one of the healing spells. ‘Vulnera Sanentur,’ you whispered. Some of the wounds were starting to close but you didn’t know how to stop the cruciatus curse so the wounds kept on coming back.

‘Please make it stop! Please! I’ll do anything!’ you cried at the deatheaters. They didn’t move. They just looked at you trying to heal Sirius. You looked at Sirius. ‘It will be alright, I promise,’ you whispered trying to calm him. 

His screams still hurt your ears. ‘Anything?’ someone asked from behind the deatheaters. You looked up and faced a man with dark black hair. It was Tom Riddle himself, also known as you-know-who. 

You clenched your teeth together. ‘Anything,’ you said with a harsh voice. Tom walked towards you. ‘Lucius stop the curse!’ he demanded. Sirius stopped screaming and you sighed in relief. You embraced him and stopped as you knew that Tom wanted something in exchange for helping Sirius.

‘What do you want?’ you asked. Tom smiled and you were disgusted by it. How could he do all of this and still be able to smile? ‘Why not change his death,’ he said while pointing at Sirius. ‘To your death,’ he said.

‘No! NO, Y/N think about it! Don’t please!’ Sirius said pounding. You nodded at Tom, ‘Fine.’ If your death meant saving your friend you would do it. 

‘What about Remus?’ you suddenly thought. You pushed away the thought, you would do this. You had to do this. This was your own damn fault.

You helped Sirius to stand up and whispered something in his ear. He looked at you and shook his head. ‘Y/N please.’ You let go of him and stepped a few steps back, and faced Tom.

‘Promise to let Sirius go,’ you said. ‘You have my word,’ he said grimacing. You nodded. ‘Do it then.’

Before Tom could conjure the spell a memory came up from earlier that day. 

-Three and a half hours earlier-

‘Remus don’t worry please!’ you said. Remus looked at you with tears in his eyes. ‘You are not doing this! How can you be telling me that I shouldn’t worry for fuck’s sake!’ he shouted.

Everyone of the order came together to wonder what was happening. ‘You bloody accepted this Moody? I thought you could take better care of her!’ he shouted at him.

‘Remus stop!’ you shouted. ‘You cannot be mad at someone because of what I’ve done!’ ‘Watch me Y/N,’ he said angry as he sat down on the couch of the living room. He sighed. ‘I’m sorry Remus but I can do this,’ you whispered. 

Remus looked at you and shook his head. ‘But Y/N-’. ‘Please Rem, let me do this. Because I can do this. I will come back,’ you said.

He sighed and looked at you. ‘I love you Y/N, I don’t want you to get hurt,’ he said. ‘I love you too and I know… I’ll do this and I’ll come back. Just like all the other times I went on tasks for the Order,’ you said.

Remus stood up and walked over to you. ‘Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter how hopeless,’ he said with tears in his eyes. ‘I promise,’ you said with a soft smile.

-Present day-

You had promised him to come back, and now you had to break it. As Tom grabbed his wand you couldn’t help but cry. You cried, not because you feared death but you were afraid to lose the people you loved. 

You closed your eyes and Tom conjured the spell. 


‘Avada Kedavra!’


-An hour later-

Sirius’s POV:

He wasn’t able to bring your body back to Remus. The body faded away as the spell was conjured. She was dead. He saw it. And it felt wrong. Tom would never just have killed you without any reason. 

There was just one person that saw her die. And that was him. Tom wasn’t like that, he wanted so many more people to suffer at once. Not just one person, Sirius knew he was up to something but he didn’t know what.

As Sirius arrived at the headquarter of the order, everyone of the order was present in the living room. Sirius didn’t dare to look Remus in the eye. Everyone looked at Sirius while he walked into the living room.

‘Is she-,’ Lily asked. He nodded. 

There was a moment of silence when Remus suddenly stood up and shouted at him. He deserved it, he let her die for him. Everybody’s eyes started to fill up with tears and Remus sank to his knees. Crying, as well.

‘You had to take care of her-,’ Remus breathed. ‘How could you!’ he shouted at him. ‘I’m sorry-,’ Sirius tried to say. But Remus already walked to the front door. James called after him. ‘Remus where are you going?’ he asked. Remus didn’t answer he just left.

And that was the last time Sirius had seen Remus before James and Lily had died.


Did you enjoy it? Here is a link to part two: 

Moonlight pt.2

  • Look I get people having a problem with Harry or not liking him very much. That’s your opinion and it’s fine. But honestly all the people depicting him as “arrogant” and “selfish” I just ???? Bish he ain’t full of himself. The reason he constantly brings up people “dying for him” and trying to leave his friends (so they don’t die) is because people have been dying all around him. First, his parents. His parents literally sacrificed themselves to save him, and then he was raised by a shitty family that treated him like trash, where he learned to believe he wasn’t worth anything. Then he learns about this amazing world where he can finally be away from this situation but oh wait just kidding you’re actually the chosen one and look Cedric Diggory is dead because you wanted to share the prize with him. Oh did we mention you’re part of a prophecy where you have to die, and this new father figure of yours? Yeah he’s gonna die saving your ass too, so are a bunch of others. Then there’s Doby, who Harry loves and who’s finally some he actually saved, but now he’s dying for Harry too. So we get to the final battle and all of these people around him have died, and even though it’s not for him, it’s for freedom from Voldemort, he can’t help but look around and think “my fault. I could have stopped this.” And then he finds out he can, so of course he’s gonna go sacrifice itself if it means nobody else will die. It’s not a selfish choice, it’s his only choice. Inside himself, Harry feels like a death curse. It’s no wonder he constantly thinks people are dying because of him, that this is all his fault. That’s not selfish or arrogant. It’s fear and bravery and strength. He tried to give up everything to save others.