like half of the people i talk to online are there

anonymous asked:

heres a prompt if u were interested: neil being oblivious when flirted with constantly while andrew doing nothing, passing by, twirling his racquet is enough to get neil's attention (the rest of the foxes smirk)

“You’re all zoned out,” Matt says in her ear. Dan tips him immediately backwards with a hand to the chest.

“Shush,” she tells him, gritted through the straw she’s worrying between her teeth. She ran out of the watered-down pepsi they’re serving in battered plastic jugs a half hour ago.

“Dan.”

“Shush,” she insists, pressing two fingers to his mouth. She’s watching Neil trying to fill his water cup over at the far side of the banquet hall. He’s hovering in that way he does, like a shark who hasn’t figured out if something’s food yet.

There’s this sweet brown-eyed boy trying to talk to him, possibly the only male cheerleader in the room, certainly the least in the loop about Exy gossip. Dan watches him touch Neil’s arm and Neil jerks backwards into the table, toppling an entire icy water jug so it slops onto the floor and seeps through the tablecloth to the dark wood underneath.

Heads pop up, the boy falls all over himself to pour Neil a new glass, and Neil wanders off, bored.

Dan has noticed that people really want Neil to have a heart of gold. They like the news stories and they want them for themselves. They want the seams showing on his face and the tragedy in his back pocket, and they want to show everyone how accepting they are for finding his scars sexy. 

All they really want is his trim waist and his pretty eyes and his vice-cap badge and the way he shoves cameras away and has more history than any twenty-year-old has any business having.

Dan’s seen it all before. The way people like the character you’re playing so much that they want to take you home and open you up and see how deep it goes.

Neil’s worse at knowing when it’s happening. Dan’s a professional. She can see the way their eyes follow him because at least a dozen are always following her too, especially in places like this banquet. They look at Neil, or Dan, and a little part of them expects a show.

She watches Neil walk towards them with his eyes pouring over the room like liquid and finding every crevice, every exit. She looks at Matt.

“He’s doing that thing where he’s making a spectacle but he thinks he’s being very subtle.”

“That’s his whole shtick. I’m fond of it, now.” Matt grins.

“Do you think he actually noticed he was being hit on?”

Matt hums, watching Neil wind through the tables back to the fox—trojan extravaganza at theirs. “I doubt he knows anything about that boy other than the fact that he was in front of him for a bit.”

Keep reading

99 Questions, ASK MEEE
  • 1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
  • 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
  • 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
  • 4: What do you think about most?
  • 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?
  • 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
  • 7: What’s your strangest talent?
  • 8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)
  • 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
  • 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?
  • 11: Do you have any strange phobias?
  • 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
  • 13: What’s your religion?
  • 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
  • 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
  • 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
  • 17: What was the last lie you told?
  • 18: Do you believe in karma?
  • 19: What does your URL mean?
  • 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
  • 21: Who is your celebrity crush?
  • 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
  • 23: How do you vent your anger?
  • 24: Do you have a collection of anything?
  • 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
  • 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
  • 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
  • 28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
  • 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
  • 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
  • 31: Smell the air. What do you smell?
  • 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
  • 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
  • 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
  • 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
  • 36: Define Art.
  • 37: Do you believe in luck?
  • 38: What’s the weather like right now?
  • 39: What time is it?
  • 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
  • 41: What was the last book you read?
  • 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?
  • 43: Do you have any nicknames?
  • 44: What was the last film you saw?
  • 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
  • 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?
  • 47: Do you have any obsessions right now?
  • 48: What’s your sexual orientation?
  • 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
  • 50: Do you believe in magic?
  • 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
  • 52: What is your astrological sign?
  • 53: Do you save money or spend it?
  • 54: What’s the last thing you purchased?
  • 55: Love or lust?
  • 56: In a relationship?
  • 57: How many relationships have you had?
  • 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
  • 59: Where were you yesterday?
  • 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
  • 61: Are you wearing socks right now?
  • 62: What’s your favourite animal?
  • 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
  • 64: Where is your best friend?
  • 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
  • 66: What is your heritage?
  • 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?
  • 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
  • 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
  • 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
  • 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
  • 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
  • 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
  • 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
  • 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
  • 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
  • 77: How can I win your heart?
  • 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?
  • 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
  • 80: What size shoes do you wear?
  • 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
  • 82: What is your favourite word?
  • 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
  • 84: What is a saying you say a lot?
  • 85: What’s the last song you listened to?
  • 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?
  • 87: What is your current desktop picture?
  • 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
  • 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
  • 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
  • 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
  • 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
  • 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
  • 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
  • 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
  • 96: Do you have any relatives in jail?
  • 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?
  • 98: Ever been on a plane?
  • 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
accidentally?

Based on this prompt I said I’d fill a few days ago:

boss: “know why I called you in here?”
me: “because I accidentally sent you a dick pic”
boss: “accidentally?”

yup.

(on ao3)

“You need to stop pining after people you haven’t even spoken to,” Lydia says one day, probably because Derek—er, Mr. Hale, their boss—has just stepped through the front door of the cafe where they’re having lunch, and Stiles has trailed off mid-word to watch him walk up to the counter. In Stiles’ defense, he’s never seen Mr. Hale outside of the office before, let alone Mr. Hale wearing a leather jacket over his dress shirt. God, and Stiles thought the tailored suits were bad enough…

Anyway.

“Uh, I have too spoken to him,” Stiles says indignantly, tearing his eyes away from Derek’s broad back across the room. “One day I was coming out of the break room and I almost walked right into him and he said, ‘Excuse me,’ so then I said, ‘Oops,’ and he smiled at me. Kind of. A little bit. I mean, I interpreted it as a smile. There was some prolonged eye contact.”

Lydia abruptly stops stirring her fat-free latte to stare at him—one of those Oh god, it’s worse than I thought kind of looks. “That’s it?”

Keep reading

Long Angsty Sterek Fics

All at least 20k words long (by request)

Divided We Stand by KouriArashi

Derek is being pressured by his family to pick a mate, and somehow stumbles into a choice that they didn’t expect and aren’t sure they approve of….

By Any Other Name by entanglednow

He doesn’t know his name, he doesn’t know who he is, and neither does the werewolf he’s on the run with. But he’s pretty sure they hunt monsters, because they seem to be really good at it.

Permanent Fixture by linksofmemories

Derek is Scott’s older brother. Stiles is Scott’s best friend. Derek is falling in love with Stiles. This is a bit of a problem.

Mating Habits of the Domesticated North American Werewolf by lielabell

Derek doesn’t do pining. He doesn’t. So when it becomes clear that Stiles is much more interested in having Derek as a new best friend than a boyfriend, he puts on his big boy pants and makes it fucking work. He becomes the best goddamn friend a spastic teenager could ever hope to have.

Don’t Speak by fatale

The Alpha pack has systematically attacked Stiles and his friends for months, testing their strengths and weaknesses. When one of the Alphas goes after Stiles, he awakens in the hospital and realizes that something’s wrong. Very wrong. All sounds seem to hurt him, he can’t understand what anyone is saying, and when he tries to speak, it’s gibberish. How is he supposed to deal with the fact that he’s lost the ability to communicate with his dad and his friends?

Without his ability to talk, his sarcasm, and his wit, what does Stiles even have left? Enter Derek, the only one who seems to make it better.

Enemy Lines by qhuinn (tekla)

This is the story of werewolf Derek Hale and human Stiles Stilinski: two people who grew up in the same town but completely different worlds, their realities split by the war between men and wolves.

Years later when Derek returns to Beacon Hills, he does it as Alpha of a military pack on a mission to capture those responsible for the region’s resistance. With his main objective, Sheriff Stilinski, out of sight, he settles for the next best thing: his son, Stiles.

Neither of them suspects they’ll need to trust each other if they want to make it out this alive.

Keep reading

High for This

High for This by evansrogerskitten

Dean x Reader x Sam, John x Reader

A witch’s curse hexes the three Winchester men and reader, leading to a night of desire that would change things forever.

Warnings: Explicit, Smut, Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Threesome (NO Wincest), Fingering, Language, Dom!John, discussion of being high, dirty talk, orgasm denial, squirting, spanking, mention of a panic attack, Feels, A lil fluff, lack of protection, canon divergence. To be clear- the characters have all consented to all sexual acts in this story. 

Word Count: 8408 | On AO3 | This is inspired by the song High for This by The Weeknd, and my first song for @mrs-squirrel-chester Album Fanficfion Challenge. 

This fic had a mind of its own but I love it. I hope you do too :)


The Impala rolled into a parking space on the street and Sam killed the engine. I straightened the sleeves of my navy fed suit, and looked over at him.

“You really think she’s going to know anything?” Sam pestered, looking through the window.

“Witnesses said two of the victims had been here to see her for readings.” I responded, climbing out of the car. I patted my jacket pocket to make sure I still had my fake FBI badge. “She does readings on love and relationships.”

Sam rolled his eyes as we walked up the sidewalk to the old house.

“What if she’s really psychic then? She’ll know we’re hunters.” Sam suggested sarcastically as he looked over his shoulder to the street.

“Then we’ll improvise. It’ll be fine, Sam.” I responded, looking around the front porch. A bright Psychic Reader sign lit up the front window.

Keep reading

The Only Exception (Part 1)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,442

Warnings: language, fluff, wishful thinking, hot firemen, sarcasm, cynicism, bad jokes

A/N: Okay, so I saw a movie a long long time ago that was terrible, but it inspired the ‘bad’’ love advice and the firemen. I’ve been dying to have fireman!Bucky in one of my AUs.

And yes, the title comes from the Paramore song. I felt like it’s how reader feels throughout. Hope you guys like it. I had some writer’s block, and some house guests, so this is a little late being posted.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 -

Originally posted by 8bit-arc-reactor

Keep reading

Ok but you know what trope I love and don’t get NEARLY enough of?

Accidental sex

“Anything you can do I can do better INCLUDING THAT” sex

“You played a prank on me and now I’m going to play one on you except oops this accidentally got hot” sex

“You made an inaccurate assumption about *insert sexual or sexuality misnomer here* and I’m going to teach you the truth” sex

“You think you’re so smart so I’m going to teach you a lesson” sex

“Do you think I look good/hot/provocative in this? Wait is this turning you on???” sex

“You don’t know what *insert kink here* is and I’m really bad at explaining things and now we’re doing it oops” sex

“I bet I can dance/move/act like that and I don’t even have to be a dancer/stripper/actor/whatever wait are you turned on?” sex

“I lost a bet to you and the circumstances were supposed to be a joke but I took them seriously” sex

“You were joking about something and I took you seriously” sex

“You seem to think that __ won’t feel good and I intend to prove you wrong” sex

“You’re intentionally getting under my skin so I threaten to spank you/playfully spank you and now you look like you just got banged against a wall” sex

“I didn’t know you were a sub and when I called you a good boy/girl you almost cried” sex

“I didn’t know you were a dom and when I called you Sir/Ma'am you almost jumped me” sex

“Playing a prank on our freinds to make them think we’re a couple and now we’re in bed together” sex

“I’m fixing you *insert appliance/furniture/house thing hee* for you and now I’m sweaty and half naked and you’re drooling” sex

“I noticed the way you were watching me eat this popsicle so I purposely started making it an inuendo and now we’re both hot and bothered” sex

“Haha that thing they do in movies/porn/online is so corny like no way that’s actually hot haha oops it is” sex

“Freinds can totally watch porn together and nothing can happen…. no they can’t” sex

“I showed you *insert sexual thing here* as a joke but you’re actually turned on” sex

“You found my sex toys and I teasingly offered to demonstrate them welp here we are” sex

“I started pretending to dirty talk to you an hour ago and it stopped being pretending 58 minutes ago” sex

“All I’m saying is that I’ve been told I’m a good lay, wanna find out?” sex

“You said you don’t like __ but I bet the people you were with just don’t know how to do it, I, however, have experience and bet I could make you like it” sex

“We platonically slept together last night because of circumstances and we both woke up horny” sex

“This started as a tickle fight and it isn’t tickling anymore” sex

“We’re just bros being bros and doing something 100% platonic but somehow we’re turning eachother on because of not-so-burried feelings for eachother and we can’t make it stop” sex

Accidental sex ok?

luciel-mi-angel  asked:

i wanna request that HC with Mc almost leaving s/o (the one in your masterpost)

Yoosung


Jaehee

  • Jaehee was working herself too hard
  • She hadn’t taken a break since they’d opened the café
  • MC manages to convince Jaehee to take a day off with her and close cafe early so that they can go see Zen’s musical together
  • However, a few days before their evening out, Jaehee books a private event at the cafe when the play is supposed to start
  • They argue about it because Jaehee thinks it will be a great chance to promote the cafe, but MC says Jaehee promised and needs some time away from work
  • In the end, they just pout at each other and don’t speak for a little while
  • MC goes to the musical alone and no, she’s not being stubborn, Jaehee is!
  • After the play, Zen asks MC to come backstage so she can ask about Jaehee, but MC explains everything that happened
  • Zen agrees to go with her to the cafe to talk to Jaehee during the private event, as he wants to see her as well (he likes hanging out with the two of them)
  • When they arrive, the party is in full swing, someone tries to force them out because “it’s a private event”, but before MC can state she’s a co-owner, a guest recognizes Zen and says they’re with her
  • MC goes to find Jaehee and sees her being kissed by another woman
  • Granted, it’s on the cheek, but it took forever for Jaehee to get comfortable with PDA from MC
  • So MC turns around and walks out to go home and cry
  • The next day, MC proposes they break up before the cafe opens and anyone else is there, even saying she found all the documents online to give/sell her half of the cafe to Jaehee
  • Jaehee is very quick to stop this line of thinking and the two of them have a long, serious talk about all their problems
  • Jaehee ends up agreeing to take one day off a month to go on a date with MC, but only if MC will help her rake in more customers with events and such

Zen

  • It’s their one year anniversary of being married
  • In months leading up to it, Zen made a bigger deal of it than she did
  • Not to mention, Valentine’s Day and Christmas were his favorite holiday and he’d gone all out for those every single time
  • And not only does Zen forget
  • But he goes out drinking after work with a few cast mates
  • He even makes a post inviting fans to come hang out with them
  • He’s posting things on his FB page, twitter and Instagram the whole time
  • MC had made a nice dinner to surprise him when he got home, but when she saw his social media, she goes on the Messenger and cries
  • She ends up packing a bag and is getting into a cab to go Jaehee’s place for a little while (she was sweet enough to offer her couch if MC needed some time away)
  • Zen comes home right about then, a little too drunk, and asks where she’s going
  • “Check the Messenger.” Is all she says before she slams the door
  • Zen goes inside and sees and…. fuck. Fuck. FUCK!!!
  • How could he have been such a jerk!!
  • He sees the beautiful meal she made, the remnants of candles, and so on, and he’s fucked up, royally
  • When he gets a notification that MC is online, he jumps on, interrupting a conversation between her and Jumin about the furball
  • Immediately, she logs off
  • In the morning, he goes to work, he does what he has to, then he goes to Jaehee’s.
  • Jaehee lets him in because she wants him to apologize to MC (who had been crying a lot because of him)
  • He swears it’ll never happen again
  • He begs forgiveness
  • He even promises to give her a whole day, just for her, if only she’ll come home
  • She agrees, but only just barely, and even then, she refuses to share the bed with him
  • Zen immediately calls his director, claims to be sick and says he needs a day off
  • He sleeps on the floor next to the couch because he refuses to be away from her until she forgives him
  • He takes her on a long, romantic date, treats her like more than a princess, when people ask what the occasion is, he tells the truth; he forgot their first anniversary and is making it up to her
  • They first shame him, then they give him advice or free stuff to help (or they just give it to her with a sad, “oh honey, I’m so sorry he forgot.”)
  • Halfway through the day, she says that being mad at him is exhausting and she just want to go home and take a nap
  • He refuses because he promised her a day and now he plans to make it a day
  • When they’re stoped in the park by some of his fans, he excuses himself from them, politely stating he’s on a date with his wife
  • The girls “awwwww” because it’s super cute how enamored with her he is
  • By the time they get home, she’s exhausted and can’t believe he packed so much into one day
  • But it doesn’t end there
  • He draws her up a bubble bath (and joins her after setting something up)
  • And when they get out, he has candles lit in their bedroom
  • Love making ensues
  • The morning, she aches in all the right ways, and is surprised when Zen drags her back into bed when she tries to get up to eat, and whispers that because he had so much fun yesterday, he called out sick today too
  • But this time, he plans on them staying home all day ;)

Jumin

  • One of Jumin’s high society “friends” says that MC is “kind of plain” and “surprisingly uncultured” and “clumsy”
  • To Jumin’s face
  • MC knows she can be clumsy, but it genuinely wasn’t her fault she bumped into that guy and spilled her drink on him
  • Hell, she’s heard comments like this before, and she’s honestly not even really bothered by them
  • Until Jumin agrees with him
  • She walks out of the party without saying a word, is driven back to the pent house and packs up her things
  • Anything Jumin has bought her with his money, she throws in the garbage
  • She ends up with a surprisingly small backpack from her high school days
  • She writes a note, “Since I’m so uncultured, I didn’t know the proper protocol for this, so I’m sorry if it’s not to your tastes. But I am leaving. I won’t tell you where I’m going. Hopefully the absence of my plain face won’t bother you.”
  • To her surprise, Elizabeth blocks her way and won’t let her leave the penthouse
  • She manages to get past Elizabeth eventually, but by then she has 10 missed calls from Jumin, 1-5 from the other RFA members, and bumps into Jumin in the lobby on her way out
  • He’s so relieved she’s okay, but MC fibs to him and says her mother is in the hospital and she needs to go visit right away, and she wants to go alone
  • He allows this because he knows how stubborn and independent she can be
  • When she’s in the car, she reads the messages, finds out that Jumin noticed her absence near-immediately and went looking for her
  • When he couldn’t find her, he panicked
  • He and the RFA all assumed that she had been kidnapped
  • She ends up actually just going to her mothers, and once Driver Kim has left, she goes to a hotel to stay the night
  • As soon as she’s checked in, she gets a call from Jumin demanding to know where she is. He refuses to lose her.
  • “Maybe next time, pick someone better suited to you,” she says. “Some one beautiful and graceful and refined. Like maybe Sarah.” Then she hangs up.
  • He calls her all through the night, although she shut her phone off pretty quickly
  • In the morning, she listens to his messages as he gets increasingly more desperate, even breaking down into tears at some point
  • After breakfast is delivered to her room, she gets a call from 707, who starts speaking so frantically, she can’t understand him
  • What he boils it down to is, “Thank god you turned on your phone, Jumin paid me a lot of money to track you down, and I can’t fail him. I have to fill up my babies with premium~”
  • This whole conversation happens while she’s eating
  • Then there’s a knock on the door as she finishes her food
  • With a piece of toast hanging out of her mouth and 707 still on the phone in her hand, she answers the door to three security guards and Jumin
  • The toast falls out of her mouth
  • Jumin forces himself inside the room, shuts the door, and grabs her phone
  • “Thank you, Luciel, the money will be wired to you by the end of the day.”
  • Jumin then hangs up and throws the phone across the room
  • He then grabs MC and kisses her
  • When he pulls away, she sees how bedraggled he looks. He’s still wearing the same suit form the night before, it’s wrinkled and his hair is a mess
  • He begs her never to leave him again
  • He apologizes a million times, telling her she’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever met and that he was barely even paying attention to what that man said, he didn’t even realize until it was too late
  • He loves her too much to lose her
  • MC ends up realizing she hurt him just as much as he hurt her and apologizes for leaving like that, for saying the things she did, it was unfair
  • After holding each other for a little while, Jumin declares he’s going to take a day off of work, and they are going to stay in this hotel room until the next day
  • MC just rolls her eyes at this, but sure, fine, whatever

Saeyoung

  • He’d been acting… distant
  • Of course, part of it was because he was keeping an eye on Saeran, who was having a really bad stream of episodes
  • More than once, Saeran had lashed out at one or both of them
  • It didn’t help that Saeyoung was trying really hard to get out of the spy life and was doing his best to keep hackers away from them
  • MC did the best she could not to be a burden on him since he had so much on his plate
  • If MC was around, she’d help around the house by cleaning, making decent meals for the brothers, making sure they at least tried to eat, and so on
  • One day, however, Saeyoung snaps at MC that he’s fine, he doesn’t need her to put on a show and he just needs her to leave
  • When she comes back a few hours later with food and note with a joke on it, he’s still frustrated and says he told her to get out
  • So MC says goodbye to Saeran and goes home
  • She stops texting him good morning and good night at this point
  • At first, he just assumes she forgot, no big deal, that or she’s mad at him
  • Goes on for three days, then he realizes he’s hungry and Saeran almost sets fire to the kitchen trying to cook with some of the ingredients MC bought and left behind
  • Saeyoung cooks, but its not as good
  • He goes to check on MC at her apartment, only to find all the cameras are taped over, so he has to go in person
  • When he gets there, MC refuses to open the door
  • When Saeyoung asks why, she informs him that, she’s been trying her best to take care of him and Saeran, but Saeyoung continues to push her away
  • After everything they’ve been through, and he’s still pushing her away
  • Saeran really isn’t the best company, either, but she doesn’t blame him for that
  • When Saeyoung told her he didn’t need her, that he didn’t want her, MC decided that, if that’s what he thought would make him happy, she’d listen
  • He doesn’t need to see her again
  • Guess who’s begging for forgiveness through her apartment door?
  • Saeyoung just starts apologizing uncontrollably, saying he didn’t mean it, he loves her, needs her, Saeran needs her totally doesn’t almost ruin the apology by saying that they really need her to cook because Saeran can’t, and he’s not very good
  • Eventually MC lets him in and they hug and kiss and make up
  • MC also starts teaching Saeran to cook so there aren’t anymore… incidents
  • soon Saeran is a better cook than she is, but he doesn’t let Saeyoung have any when he “acts weird” and more often than not, if he goes to deliver food to his brother, he dumps the plate on the table in such a way that some of the food usually goes flying
customer satisfaction

Originally posted by shitohsehun

woozi x reader smut

20,480 words

a/n: my first woozi fic, my first seventeen fic, my first kpop fic. this was supposed to be something really simple and silly, but my dumb ass had to go and add a bunch of sadness and backstory to it, as always. as you can see, it got dramatically out of hand. i’m so sorry, i hope someone likes it

~ in which you haven’t gotten off in like six months, and lee jihoon is the pleasure specialist, himself. (he’s also a little bit more than that.)


     “I promise you, you won’t regret this,” Wendy reassured you, but they were words she always said right before she convinced you to do something that you definitely would regret. She’d used them very often over the past year, during which she’d somehow convinced you to go on roughly thirty blind dates that she’d set up in her desperate attempts to get you “back out there.” You knew her heart was in the right place, but every single date had been a disaster. The problem was that if she knew a guy who wasn’t already taken, there was a reason for it. The first set-up been with a guy named Jinho who still lived with his ex-girlfriend (in a one bedroom apartment) and adamantly refused to wear deodorant; one guy, Jinwoo, told you he had recently quit his job and moved back in with his parents because he hadn’t had enough time to play League; you’d tried so hard to will yourself to forget the second to last guy, but how could you forget the name (Daehyun) of someone who sat down across from you and proceeded to ignore you for the whole two hours it took him to eat a salad, baked potato, and two steaks before “suddenly realizing” he forgot his wallet, telling you he didn’t think you were his type, and leaving you to foot the bill.

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More Words on Art Theft

I don’t know how many times I’ve said this, but please.

Stop. reposting. art. 😢

Many of you do this without malicious intent and even think you’re doing us a favor. I understand. You want to share things with the world. But like writing papers, you either need to have permission from the original artist OR you need to cite them (give them credit). Sometimes, an artist will allow either/or. Others, like myself, do not allow art reposted at all, credited or not. Only a certain few have permission and with specific pieces only. Here’s a definition for what art reposts are:

“Saving an image/art into your hard drive/computer/phone as a separate file and then proceeding to upload that file onto your profile(s).”

I’ll be honest. I’m tired. A lot of us are. Artists are constantly facing a battle with art theft and more than half the time, they lose by giving up or they stop making art entirely. I’ve since gotten into a habit of reporting whenever I’m alerted but I have no time to go hunting down for art reposts. Most recently, I experienced a case of an art reposter deliberately hiding their actions behind a private account, which brings me to this post.

First of all, to those who I’ve already reported from, please understand, I am not angry, nor do I hate any of you. I’m simply disappointed and while you may not care how I feel, you have to realize that what you’re doing is technically illegal and against the Terms and Regulations of the websites you re-upload art in. I just want you all to learn/realize that.

And I’m saying this now. It doesn’t matter if you’re using a public or private account. 

I have actually experienced a few occasions where a private account follows me and I notice that they appear to be fan-accounts. I’ve tried to ignore those. However, with this most recent issue, I attempted to follow back one of my followers, mostly out of curiosity (and a bit of suspicion). Long story short, I was rejected. In the end I found out that that they had over a thousand posts, majority of which were art reposts, a few from mine, many others from friends and other artists. But based on how I was rejected by the user, it’s clear they did not want me to see any of that (nor do I believe they would allow other original artists to see their account either). 

I won’t divulge how I found out or who I’m talking about in confidentiality.

So with that, I’m telling you straight. Just because you’re on a private account does not mean you’re safe from getting caught. 

I don’t try to single out anyone regarding this issue. Like I said, I don’t go hunting. So if you find yourself getting reported then, you probably just lucked out, I suppose. At least when it comes to my pieces.

 When I report something, it’s simply because I’m a copyright holder and I need to protect my work. I don’t do it out of spite. If anything, I do it to teach. I’d rather see an account change their ways than have their entire Instagram/Youtube account taken down because of multiple copyright violations. 

So if you’re one of these people, please, I implore you to take down any artwork that you know is not supposed to be there (i.e the artists do not want their work reposted/You do not have permission to re-upload their work). 

Here’s one way to think about this: Artists take time to make their artwork and post it online. You would take *less* time putting an image through a search engine to find the original source of the picture. Just saying! ^^ 

You. Are. Better. Than. This.

Now, if you have any grievances or comments (say, you’re one of the people I reported from or you’re guilty of reposting art), you may message me on Tumblr. I am opening the floor.

TL;DR: STOP. RE-UPLOADING OR REPOSTING. ART. 

w-r-o-u-g-h-t  asked:

who was the one writing the oakland tribune cartoons/columns you've been posting recently? they're all tagged geraldine, is that a real name or an aunt agony type deal?

It was an agony aunt sort of column. The “Cry on Geraldine’s Shoulder”, or “What They Say to Geraldine”, or “Problems, by Geraldine” (the last title came in 1943), or other variants on that title ran from September 1920 until 1955 at the least (1955 is the end of my available archives). Her tone changed a lot, even between late 1920 when she began and early 1923, but that might be the author ironing out kinks. Her opinions on some things changed during that time as well (but that might not mean she was someone else, or multiple people, maybe her opinion just changed). I’d like to believe it was one person, anyway.

Geraldine answered questions and gave advice, from a more modern and no-nonsense point of view, but for the most part it was an open forum for people to send their letters, where other readers could respond. A lot of the time there’d be a theme. It was a daily feature, it started as a small column and grew until it was at least half a page every day on weekdays and usually two full pages on Sundays.

I’ve tried to figure out who the real Geraldine, or ‘Jerry’, was but I can’t find anything online! Not just about Geraldine herself, but about the column in general. She doesn’t talk about herself much, one time she said sometime to the effect that she wasn’t much older than a college kid she was answering, but she’d evade a lot of the time (for example, someone asked about her hair colour and she said something like “by this time next year it might be red or blonde, it’s fun to mix it up!”).

If I find out more about Geraldine I’ll update for sure, because whoever they were, they were certainly refreshing!

Here’s the first introduction to the Cry On Geraldine’s Shoulder column, from September 6, 1920:

anonymous asked:

Leela, oh man I can't wait to read your response to this video, tbh while I was watching it, half of my brain was just thinking about how much I was looking forward to your reaction

this is so unbelievably sweet and i can’t believe that you look forward to hearing my thoughts so much!! i’m going to be completely dead honest with yall (when am i not tbh) … i was not one of the people who was super jazzed about the idea of a pastel edits video. i totally sided with dan in his past live show responses about the idea–that there’s no cohesive culture or stereotypical tropes around “pastel” that they could try to imitate, and also (though he didn’t say this) that it’s basically just a product of a sort of sexualized trope that tumblr seemed to make up out of thin air. i think i generally felt that at worst it would make them really uncomfortable, and at best it would just be a video of them putting on random pastel clothes and maybe wigs and making fun of the whole concept and that’s about it. so like. god damn, i was not prepared for how good this was nor the boundaries that it pushed, especially coupled with the tweet from dan preceding it. and even though there was still a lot of mockery and grumbling about it, especially from dan, i was not prepared for how much they would genuinely enjoy it and have fun with it. i think that’s just a testament to them and their connection/chemistry more than anything–it seems like there are very few scenarios and situations they get into together that they don’t end up completely loving and enjoying almost purely bc of how much they’re able to make each other laugh and bring each other joy. but also, in this case, bc they were so visibly enjoying the opportunity to touch and flirt and see each other wear a totally different look to their norm (and incidentally those exact things were what made punk edits irl such an incredible video too).

that being said, it wasn’t all just flirting and softness. there was some unexpected depth to this, or at least, a lot of room for me to speculate about what it might mean for them to be making a video like this, speculate about how they might feel about it, etc. and in order to do that i’m going to discuss a whole bunch of things that happened in the vid in three general categories: soft things, sarcastic things, and sexual things lol. one overarching observation to begin though: um. not to objectify but. phil is lookin damn fine. idk if his running/gyming are already having an impact but he somehow looked really well built in that t-shirt in a way i don’t think i’m used to seeing, so. ok. just had to get that out of the way.

1. soft things:

obvi, deeper analysis aside, there was a lot of genuinely sweet, wholesome, lovely shit happenin’ in this vid and it all had me close to tears. first of all. the brief and gut-wrenching return of the music from the blindfolded cat game vid and the dan and phil do poppen kookin vid, aka the softest videos known to mankind. thx phil. also interesting bc that means he def associates that music with softness and maybe he thinks about those videos as being soft and adorable and pure in the same way that we do. then,,,, phil going so high pitched when he talks about dans curls and saying that he’s ‘obsessed’ and dan getting all flustered when phil touches his hair and forgetting how to talk lol. “am i consenting you?” same. just generally, this was a video full of phil being rly into dans neck tattoo and dans curls and,,,, dan. just generally lmao. ik they lie all the time about preparing for videos and make it sound like phil does all the preparation even when dan has a hand in it, but in this case i really want to believe that phil actually went out (or online) shopping for dan and picked out that sweater and dungarees mostly bc he thought it’d be rly cute to see dan wearing them, which is why he also seemed to expend less effort on shopping for his own outfits. i loved his emphatically positive comments about the various elements of the get-up like when he was putting the tattoo on dan’s neck and told him that it would look amazing in such an earnest completely non-sarcastic way!!!! and a bit earlier when dan decided to also compliment phil out of nowhere, ALSO in such a genuine and emphatic and non-sarcastic way, regarding his “accurate cutting out” skills. the way that dan was instinctively so happy with phil’s arm tattoo and his first thought was to tell phil it matches his eyes before he naturally diluted it by slipping into a sarcastic tone of voice. and the way that he was so supportive of phil’s blue wig in a way that went beyond “u look good,” but rather was more along the lines of “u look good AND this fits with this deeper thing about you that i love so much and that shows how deeply i know you, namely the way that you want to make an impact when u enter a room” ahhhhhh goodness i think they both really found each other to be very pretty in these outfits, and doing a video like this is is as much a fun and exciting thing for them to experience as it is for us to watch.

one thing that really stood out to me was the moment when dan talks about feeling like he wants to do some ‘soft’ things after assuming this new persona and then he lists some examples of what those might be: writing a poem, cloud gazing, buying some sorbet, and then phil pitches in with surfing off the edge of a waterfall … which like,,, what? lmao. but the reason this moment hit me so hard is because it was the first point in watching the video that i realized that they were completely avoiding associating the concept of “pastel” with some more generalized concept of “femininity” and rather, just associating it with softness and aesthetic choices, both of which they proceeded to discuss throughout the video with absolutely no gender typecasting attached. so in this exchange, it really struck me that even when they were listing ‘soft activities’ they didn’t say anything about wanting to do activities that are stereotypically girly, nor did they shy away from talking about embracing things that could be perceived in that way like writing poetry or hugging unicorns or eating sorbet or whatever else. really the only mention of gender at all during the video was when phil talks about finding male underwear (on dan’s laptop btw, i just need to point that out) and even then they were just bemused at the idea that men would *want* to embrace the pastel but feel the need to hide it under their jeans lol. idk,, i’ve written about this before at great length (especially last year when dan bought the rhinestoned gatorland hat) but it’s just so lovely to see both of them progress to this point of total comfort with how they might be perceived and give absolutely no mind at all to any nasty stereotypes that people might launch at them for being two men in an extremely close relationship deciding to dress up in pink and touch each other and hold rainbow umbrellas and light up unicorns. like. the very THOUGHT of that happening a few years ago would be totally absurd especially with dan’s own seemingly internalized homophobia and both of their enforcement of gender binaries/heteronormativity. and yet, it’s a point that i will never stop making bc i can’t adequately express how happy it makes me: dan and phil have grown so much. we’ve watched them blossom into these self-assured people who are confident not only in themselves but in their relationship with each other, who are proud not only of themselves but of their relationship with each other, and who no longer feel such an innate need to hide.

2. sexual things:

in a similar vein, there was so much surprisingly overt sexual flirting and innuendo in this video that absolutely was not demanded by the situation at all. with last years halloween baking, one could make the argument that it’d be hard to mess about with melted chocolate and poke sticks into balls without making a lot of innuendos and giggling at them. but,,, there’s nothing in any way sexual about phil clipping on dan’s overalls for him….like. it was a completely innocent thing for phil to do. but dan decided to say “strapping me up on camera there’s a certain audience for this sort of video” while it was happening, as though *inviting* us to interpret this sexually, putting the thought into our heads on his own terms. the same applies to the tweet teasing the video. first of all he didn’t need to tweet at all but he did, to promo a video that wasn’t even on his own channel i want to point out. and if he wanted to promo it he could’ve just done a generic “just got done filming with phil” tweet or even a “wow just got done filming with phil and now we’re so messy” tweet but instead of leaving it there he took it to an explicitly sexual place of his own accord and, again, on his own terms. i can’t think of an explanation for this besides the notion that dan wants us to get used to thinking about them in sexual contexts, and he’s trying to push back a little on the strictly platonic and g-rated image they’ve built for themselves and their interactions. of course one could easily point out as a counter-argument that this isn’t the absolute first time they’ve made sexual comments about themselves. a good fairly recent example, but still pre-baking universe, was when they did the 3 legged ddr video on dapg and dan kept making comments about bondage and whatnot. but that still seems so different to me than many of the examples from this video for two reasons: first because, as mentioned before, the situation in the 3 legged ddr vid, in which they were literally taping themselves together, kind of demands innuendo in a more immediate way than like, strapping on overalls does. and, second, because the comments in that vid still seemed a tad uncomfortable, somewhat like dan envisioning the way that people would be screaming about these moments and sexualizing them anyway, and feeling forced to acknowledge the sexual overtones of the situation himself to get out in front of it. in this video, the difference is that dan truly and happily *went out of his way* to make these sexual and flirty comments, about the overalls, about tattooing phil’s penis or his ass, about phil biting him if he (dan) mentions cotton candy. and on and on. like,,,,, totally unnecessary, totally comments that dan made of his own volition bc he *wanted* to and *chose* to and that is so so important to me.

at the same time, phil, while less vocal in his flirting, broke the g-rated boundaries in his own ways, especially, and probs most memorably, by unzipping his trousers plainly in view of the camera and then plainly in view of dan. i was really shocked to see that and felt like i’d been totally transported back to 2008 lol. they’re both making these conscious decisions to unravel certain parts of this veneer they’ve had in place for so long and it’s something so exciting and monumental to me.

3. sarcastic comments:

as exciting as all of the above is, there hasn’t been a total transformation yet. there was still some visible discomfort with aspects of what they were doing, mostly on dan’s part, but a bit on phil’s as well, and to me it came out mostly in the form of super sarcastic comments sprinkled throughout the video. at 2:38 when dan says “it’s just like so pastel,” in the most mocking voice of all time. pretty much the whole time they are looking thru the example pics and trying not to make fun of the edits, but then basically openly shitting on the whole concept of aesthetic moodboards and whatnot. the “this is so stupid” comment that dan makes around that time. at 5:38 phil saying, “wow dan you look so soft.” this one is less clear but to me it definitely sounded sarcastic and mocky. at 6:59 the voice/face dan uses when he says “these soft knees. woowwwww.” at 9:07 when dan asks, “what is my life? why do i keep agreeing to these stupid videos? … do you deserve this?” and then at the end, phil saying “the things we do for you guys” and promoting dan’s channel, with dan quickly reassuring people his content is “not like this.” there are just these threads of self-consciousness and self-awareness that i don’t think they were fully able to shake, and an awareness specifically that this video seems/feels a lot like pandering, or at least specifically responding to something that was so vehemently requested by the audience and that they’re pretty clearly doing it just to “give the people what they want” (even though of course they ended up appearing to love it and have so much fun with it). this whole aspect of video-making for an audience is always going to be a tricky one for them, because they both pride themselves on originality and creativity and a so-called quality threshold and all that other bullshit, so choosing to make a video that is such a fervent fan request and that doesn’t involve the same creative energy that they’d normally want probably makes them somewhat uncomfortable (esp if that video is one where they have to literally dress up as a popular fan fantasy and touch each other a lot). that’s why it was so particularly interesting to me to hear phil say “well we’re on my channel there’s no integrity here,” because from *our* perspective it’s true that phil seems to care less about the quality threshold that dan talks about, and that he’s happy to put up fluff content (with dan) quite frequently whether it be a phil is not on fire or a day in the life or a baking vid or whatever else. phil’s clearly speaking in amusement and jest when he says his channel has no integrity but undelrying the humor is a clear separation they seem to see between the purpose of their channels and i was surprised to hear it reiterated so directly. this coupled with what we know about phil being more business-minded, having an on-camera presence that seems to be more different from his real self than dan’s, censoring himself, keeping his thoughts somewhat reserved, ,,, there are lots of connections here that i’m seeing but not finding the best words for in this moment. i think what i mean is that phil views his channel as entertainment in the most literal and fundamental way: the purpose is to please the audience, make them feel good and happy, and give them what they want to see. that process doesn’t necessarily require him to put a lot of himself out there. on the flip side dan sees his channel and his content as true artistic endeavors that are representative of who he is, his value as a creator and maybe even as a person since he connects so much of his self-assigned meaning of life to his career. all of this is shit we knew, but. i’ve never heard phil comment so glibly and cavalierly about that divide. the comment felt super important to me.

overall: there’s such a strongly purposive quality to everything dan and phil choose to do. even amongst all of the sensory onslaught of this video, the scenes of dan stroking phil’s arm and phil cooing over dan’s curls and both of them referencing sex and sexual situations so much, it’s this mindfulness, the transparently premeditated nature of it all, that hit me hardest and that i cannot stop thinking about. they’ve made so much progress in such a relatively short space, with their comfort levels and their confidence and their ability to disregard audience perceptions or, if they do regard it, to at least not let it dictate their behavior so damn much. ultimately with a video like this, when so much seems to have shifted, my mind always goes back to the frame-by-frame way in which videos are edited and the consequently frame-by-frame way that dnp watched this video back, looked at every joke they made, every touch they shared, and decided to leave things in as they were. decided to sit and maybe draft a tweet together that very consciously broke down their carefully constructed walls. it all is very deliberate and that matters. this video could definitely in my opinion be remembered as a turning point much like halloween baking if it is followed by more behavior that pushes boundaries, more conversation about defying gender roles and stereotypes, more sexual humor, etc. it was so exciting to watch and i’m so proud of them on so many levels.

(dan and phil pastel edits irl

/roast em’

Originally posted by fyspringfield

(via Scorpio @ everyone else)

Aries: Boi, looking like a mad toddler who just lost their red power ranger. Boi, asking for an adult but but really what you need to do is read a motherfucking book. Boi, walking around here like you run shit but really you just stepped on some. Head ass lurking in the shadows just waiting for someone to lit yo wanna-be Goku ass up. Angry looking self. Looking like the next care bear head ass. “Call me Petty the Panda”, head ass. Claiming that you know everything but don’t even know how to spell ‘spaghetti’, head ass. Always wanting to turn little shit into a fucking competition, pumped like Sonic shit. Always doing shit you know you shouldn’t be doing in the first place, risk-taking-at-the-wrong-time fuck. Don’t know how to accept that your wrong sometimes, stubborn ass boy.

Taurus: Got em’. Always talking about ‘I told you so’ but you really should be saying ‘I didn’t know’ head ass. ‘Stubborn till the day I die’ looking self. Don’t know the answer but still front like you do, wise yeller ass fool. Telling others you pity the fool but really they pity you, head ass. Talking about “presh off the runway” but really, “phresh until Monday” there-is-always-a-sale looking self. Never lets go of petty shit, head ass. Has everything that anyone has ever done wrong to them on the back of a Baskin Robbins’s napkin their back pocket. Claiming somebody on the Internet who don’t even know yo under-a-rock head ass. Don’t even feel like moving to get the remote next to you, lazy ass self.

Gemini: Mother fucka’. You talk too much. Your breath has killed my eyebrows and eyelashes hair’s cells and got me looking like fucking Voldemort in this hoe. You need some breath mints and some holy water because that mouth need Jesus. Keep breathing through that nose, thirst trapping ass. Keep asking about someone’s life only to use that shit on them an hour later, nosy self. Talking about “fuck these hoes” but really it’s “nobody has to know” head ass. Type to not to want to upset someone but #FuckBoiiii appears to ruin it. Make up some shit and forget that you did a week later, trouble making self. Start drama on fucking Club Penguin, head ass. Make a sim called “Thotnatisha SuccGreen” and fuck everyone on the street, hoe self. #ThotNation Got two phones for weed selling and your so called hoes. But really it’s your Momma and she want her money by tonight or she kicking your no-rent-ass-paying out.

Cancer: OOOH, now I’m bout to get you. Always asking “what are we?” when you dead ass know the answer, insecure self. Moods be shifting faster than how many times can Spongebob cry you a sweater, emotional self. Playing bitches faster than Mario Kart, head ass. Is the glass half empty, or not, pessimistic self. Can’t even trust your own reflection, always on the look out fuck. Quit ridding on so many people’s dicks who don’t give two shits about your clingy self. Quick to play that innocent card when you get confronted on some shit, Barney the Dinosaur ass child. Crying to that one song you heard when you were dating that one girl from Build-A-Bear Workshop Online and you caught her in a bed with some other person, lonely self. Don’t even hit someone up on their funeral unless you know they really dead, stay on the suspect ass. Thinking you got mad haters but really its the same one bitch who be commenting “You ugly skank ass hoe” on your IMVU profile since 2008. 

Leo: Bout to light your fake circus looking wig on fire, bitch. Mad disrespectful when it comes to that big ass pride of yours. Not afraid to bite someone but more scared of what they got, drama starting ass.Telling mad lies about some bitch you don’t know of, but she apparently got beef so you gotta Chief Keef. Lips looser than an IKEA desk chair, mother fuck. Keep telling yourself that people will wait on you head and toe, watch how fast you lose followers on Twitter, you ‘but-i’m-almost-famous’ ignorant self. Demand all you want, that crown looking mighty rusty, fam. Rolling in the deep, but you actually rolling with the sheep, following trends like its the Barbie, sheep self. Skull thicker than a thick bitch doing squats at 24Hour Fitness, stubborn self. Don’t care if you don’t like this like that or them like the way they are. Fix your eyebrows before you come for me, hoe. Eyebrows looking like they lift pigeons, wanna be thug self. 

Virgo: Bro, oh my God- no body cares bruh. You stay getting on other people about fixing their lives but yo dumpster living ass has no fucking say! Keep assuming that bull shit and which your ass get mistaken for a real life Patrick the Starfish. How is that ego of yours? Still buried under all the amount of shit that comes out of your mouth, “i’m super-man!’ head ass. Keep judging other’s like you aren’t the type to throw it back on a bro on Saturday and praise the Lordt ™ on a Sunday. Bro, ain’t no body perfect so stop with the bull shit, and come down from those raggy ass stairs you sit your raggy ass ‘throne’ upon and come fuck with these hands if you wanna. Bro, The Starkeisha Cheer Team song, I”’m Petty”, was made just for your life fam. Stop getting mad when these hoes pull a ‘you’ on you’. Type to play mind games, but get made when you get CRISS CROSSED, meme looking self. Pull out game getting stronger and stronger even though you know damn well this girl setting your ass smooth the fuck up. YOU ARE THE FATHER.

Libra: Words itself, can not explain how fed up I am with you. You keep asking for advice knowing your ass isn’t gonna listen in the first place. Non-listening self. Like, do you mother fuckers comprehend the word “no”? Like is it in y’all vocabulary? NO, MEANS, NO NO NO. NO NO NO NO. Bro, that word can save you from all this little shit your dumb ass think there-could always-be-peace, dumb self. Choking on that dick of self-improvement, huh? Open your fucking eyes, and take off those damn rose sunglasses because shit is about to get real as fuck the minute you get out of high school. Acting like life is a anime- bitch, your grades won’t automatically improve with every time senpai looks at you!  Ain’t nobody care more about you then you do- all these little friends and squads you so called got will eventually leave your ass in the dust. Talking about “Oh, my bitches got me” hoe, your bitches are now  free while you still trying to get a ‘get-out-of-free-card’ they apparently got for you. It’s been 7 months, and your still in jail. Start making moves with your not-wanting-undesirable-traits head ass. Bitch you ain’t perfect. Wipe that fake smile off your fucking face. Wanna be ‘bad and boujee’ but really you ‘sad and lonely’, fake self. Flip a coin on your grades, careless self. And learn that just because you do one small thing for someone, doesn’t mean that they fucking owe you their loyalty.  Balance is the key, head ass. Wanna be Judge Judy, underdeveloped self. Can’t take a hint, in-denial self. 

Scorpio: (We have our regularly scheduled meeting at 2:00 AM. See your ass then.) 

Sagittarius: You literally are the reason why roasts were even properly termed and noted- fam, WHAT IS YOUR LIFE? You stay acting like your doing all this crazy and fun shit, but bitch. You just blow stories up to make your ass sound better. Wanna be ‘Wild and Out’ but really your barely on the same level of American Ninja.Your not even that fucking wild to begin with- you just say some wild and or stupid shit, at times. When your not being a little irresponsible fuck or being a cocky cunt because you got into some lame’s pants- your pretty dope to talk to. But see, see- you and that mouth again. You claim not to care but then your ass get mad when some hoe don’t call you back on Tuesdays after 11 PM. Always on stand by to fight, but never on stand by to get right, head ass. Keep fucking with those types that bring you down and anyone who doesn’t think like you do is apparently stupid. Keep up that same argument with yourself, and see how fast catch these hands, fam. Told your teacher that you want to be a brick wall when you grow up, head ass. Your problem not mine, tactless ass self. Tell a bitch what you want her to do, but won’t listen to what she want you to do, selfish self.  Say your single and your not dating, but claiming three hoes on campus, fuck boy in some cargo shorts during February dumb self. Also getting angry when things don’t go your way, toddler power self. They call you, ‘Closer to hell’ more then they call your actually name, always-hitting-my-arm-while-you-laugh violent self. Threaten me on the daily but won’t put on the chef hat to cook this beef. 

Capricorn: Bet your the type to cheat on Tic-Tac-Toe, mother fucker. Looking like someone fucked up your taxes last year and now you don’t even trust your own momma, head ass boy! Bet your ass was born with a checklist in hand, to see who the fuck woke you up, grumpy old man self. “Well I can do bad all by my self” bitch did anyone ask?! Stay being distant with your Dora the Explorer head ass, fam. Ain’t no body got the time to sit here and figure your shit out.  Only fuck with somebody if they got the goods or you just like being better then they ass, ego-self-boosting fucker. Claim you got the keys, but really all you got is this Wii wheel. Driving towards a better future head ass. Failure isn’t an option when really you live in denial,  controlling self. Be the type to plan out your unborn daughter’s whole life, don’t want any surprises self. Try to control the world, yet can’t even control they own life head ass. Stuck in the 90s head ass. Doesn’t even have beef, the fool got that unseasoned chicken breasts.

Aquarius: I’m lost for words, yo- you really are a reckless son of a bitch. Are you even fucking here right now? Bet your planning on your next escape from your momma’s house, huh? Calling up your home boy to come smoke you out at 3 AM, but get mad when he calls for a ride to Walmart to get some groceries, selfish ass. Talking about how you got the squad to back your ass up, but the minute the cops pull around they running faster than you can even sing y’all anthem. Minute you start getting roasted, they laughing with them.  Keep claiming that your rebellious and just so weird. Watch your ass be in the back alley of a club, throat deep on a guy name Ashley who is feeding you lies to boost that overconfident ass ego. Young, wild and free, head ass. But your really Dumb, broke, and over that show Glee. Yo, do you even know how to fucking not do something? Is your whole life a dare? Nah, its not wanna be edgy ass fool. Don’t know how to love but wants it, contradicting self. Unpredictable because you scared of real life, escapist chimpanzee. 

Pisces: I’m ready for your fake ass. YOU. ARE. NOT. INNOCENT. You’ve done some how do you say shady ass shit, fam. Don’t even act like your ass didn’t laugh when your friends or even family do something or have something terrible done to them. Two face looking rainbow monkey self. Cry over split milk, baby self. Cry over being angry, matter of fact. Using people but get mad about being used, sensitive self. Wanna be dark and emo but can barely say no to someone who wants money. Saying you don’t have a soul, but got upset over that old cat dying in front of your living room window, caring self. Claiming that nobody knows you yet posts mad shit about your life on the internet. Wanna be that cool dude in school so you backstab the fuck out of your close circle to fuck some prep or jock to just end back right where you were freshmen year. Stupid and alone. Learning life lessons from cartoons when you really should be fixing that resume. Claim you understand but really you don’t give a damn. Go smoke and try to explain life to a tree, dead ass boy. Fuck you and your bull shit. 

WARNING: see below

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ. 

Warning: Please don’t listen to the audio if you are in any way uncomfortable with sexual things. This Audio was included as part of proof in a call out post I should’ve made a while ago.

I’m sure everyone knows the story of how I met Ultima. It’s quite a funny story actually, I insulted his teeth on a livestream and that led to us getting an interview arranged. Shortly after he interviewed me and Vade, we starting talking a decent amount. It was clear he wanted to date me, and I told him that that summer I just wanted to focus on my studies, but he insisted that we give each other a chance. So I agreed, and we started going out early August. There were a few things that made me uncomfortable in the relationship, but nothing that I thought was damning. He was very insistent that we sext, even when I repeatedly told him no. However I figured it was just a thing that happened in online relationships, since I had previously never had one, and went with it. Nevertheless, we dated for about a month until I fully realized that this wasn’t attractive to me, and that he as a person wasn’t attractive to me, and I tried to break up with him.

I’ll say now that I was definitely not sinless in this relationship, and didn’t stand up for myself in times that I should’ve. I let things happen that I shouldn’t have let happen, and for that I do apologize. I’m obviously not very experienced, and he took advantage of that. When I tried to break up with him, he said a lot of things that set off the Psychologist alarm bells in my head. He told me only he would ever treat me well, and that I would never find someone who would give even half the same kind of love of respect. I’ll find the exact quote: “The worst part of all of this is that YOU are the one who will be losing the most in this situation. I will move on and you will be the one who has a higher chance of regretting the decision to just let me go.”

He then said he would forgive me for this “mistake” if I just agreed to drop it and get back together with him. I insisted that this was my decision that I wanted to make and that was that. A few days later, he contacted me saying that he wanted to get back together. I declined. A few weeks later, he again insisted that we get back together, and that even if we didn’t he asked if he could fly up to my apartment in December and have sex. I again declined. By this point I was dating hawker, and specifically told him we were together. He again asked if we wanted to get back together. I told him quite forcefully that I was dating hawker, and insisted he stop asking.

He still asked occasionally, but it wasn’t until December that I really realized what was going on. Ultima sent me an audio. Remember, this is about 2 months after me and hawker started dating, and he was fully aware of this fact. He sent me an audio fantasizing about having sex with me, completely out of the blue. (AUDIO IS INCLUDED ABOVE). REMEMBER THIS WAS AFTER I HAD REJECTED HIM AND HE KNOWS IM GOING OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE. It was around that same time I got some more information.

Jenn came to me and asked a question about Ultima. She told me what had happened (see her blog), and I immediately told him that both the audio and the fact that he did this to Jenn really made me uncomfortable, and I didn’t want to be in contact with him further.

A bit of time passed, and more inconsistencies started to pop up. Upon asking around, both Camila and others he had interviewed had a similar experience. Then, when I confronted him about him pestering other people to date him as well, he blatantly lied to me, saying that they were the ones who had pursued him. Then things began to unfurl, and I realized he had been manipulating and pestering almost every woman he had interviewed.

I didn’t want to make this post to be a vindictive bitch, or to throw him under the bus or anything. I just really wanted to warn people about what type of person he actually is. By all means, if you like his content, watch his content, but don’t think for a second that he is the person he says he is.

I honestly was fooled by his nice guy approach. When Vade and a few more friends told me that he was doing some really questionable things, I defended him. Even now, I’m still feeling a little bad for doing this. But I also got into this mess by not saying what I needed to say when I needed to say it, so I’m going to do that now.

If you are a woman that he’s interviewed and he asks you out, think very carefully about if you want to say yes. Don’t let him pester you, and don’t let him get his way. If he sends you explicit pictures, block him and report him. 

This is also hopefully to show him not to do this in the future. I’m sincerely not trying to ruin his life, and I’m pretty torn up about doing this, but it needs to be done. 

kaluv888  asked:

Hi! This blog is a life saver haha! I have a little question; I'm going to be looking for apartments soon and it's my first time ever being away from home,,, is there anything I should look out for in general? Thank you!

Hey I’m so glad I’m helping! I have been meaning to write a post of this nature for a long time, so thank you for asking. Here. We. Go.

Apartment Hunting 101

Overview: There’s no getting around it, apartment hunting is a stressful process. The waiting and wondering gets the best of everyone, so give yourself a break and remember not to be too hard on yourself. The more prepared and decisive you are, the better off you’ll be!

1. Step One: The most important step in this entire process is coming up with your list of “Need and Won’t”. This list can always be adjusted in the spur of the moment, but will act as a baseline to help you easily disregard impractical apartments. Before you even start your search, sit down with any roommates (SO or otherwise) and come up with a list. Here is my list:

  • Need: Dishwasher, pet friendly, heat included.
  • Won’t: First floor apartment, all or mostly carpeted apartment, no closet space.

2. Step Two: Decide your price range. The paycheck to paycheck life is not a great one to live, so try to find an apartment that still allows you to put anywhere from $100-$500 into savings every month. Figure out how much you make monthly, with taxes taken out. If you’re paid every other week, this is two paychecks. If you’re paid every week, this is four paychecks. Start with your total monthly income, and subtract the following expenses. Let’s say you make $1,000 with taxes taken out:

  • Rent - Let’s say you’re living with a roommate, and your rent is only $500 per month.
  • Electric - My electric expense is $60 a month for a one bedroom. Once again, you’re living with a roommate so let’s say that you pay half of that. $30.
  • Internet - $30 a month internet only. Please don’t waste your money on cable. Just use your mom’s Netflix account.
  • Travel expenses - I spend about $85 a month on gas. Let’s say you use public transportation and spend around $100.
  • Food - Figure you’ll be spending $100 per person each month. So that’s another $100.
  • Misc expense: Let’s just add an additional $50 worth of expenses on. Because you never know what’ll happen.

That leaves you $130 a month extra to put in savings or to use in the event of an emergency! That’s awesome. Substitute your own numbers in, and figure out how much you can afford for rent. Immediately disregard any apartments that do not fit in this budget.

3. Step Three: The best way to find dependable apartments is to consult with your fellow apartment renters. Consult with coworkers, friends, family- anyone who is currently renting in the area that you would like to rent in. Get the inside scoop on potential apartments, both their advantages and their pitfalls. If you don’t know anyone who is renting where you’d like to rent, here are some other apartment hunting options:

  • Craigslist: Obviously
  • Drive-bys: Literally drive around until you find a cool looking apartment complex. Find their rental office and go right in, this is how I found my first apartment.
  • Your college: The Dean’s Office will have a list of apartment offerings to give kids who don’t qualify for on-campus housing.
  • This Site: A list of the top ranked apartment hunting sites.

4. Set up an appointment: After finding a potential apartment, consult with the landlord or apartment representative to set up a date and time to see the apartment. Respond promptly to any email or phone call they leave for you. On the flip side, if they aren’t prompt in their response to you RUN.

The first apartment I ever looked at, my boyfriend and I showed up on time and the landlord wasn’t there. We called her and she said that she was running late, and told us that the apartment was open and we could show ourselves inside. Serious red flag, but we gave it the benefit of the doubt and went in. Long story short, she never showed up. She gave us a tour of the apartment over the phone and kept saying that she was five minutes away, but never came. We later found out that her rental office was two minutes from the apartment we looked at. Talk about flakey! We told her we weren’t interested, if she can’t even show up to show us the apartment, how the hell can we depend on her to fix any problems we might have? Because you’re young and inexperienced, some landlords will try to give you the run around. Your age is no concern of their’s, and has no bearing on how you will act as a tenant. Here are some red flags for flaky landlords:

  • Not contacting you within one day of leaving them a message. Disregarding the weekends.
  • Not showing up when they say they will.
  • Repeatedly telling you that you’re “young” or “inexperienced”.
  • Telling you that the apartment “is good for college kids” or “a good first apartment” (that just means it’s a shit hole).
  • If they tell you that the apartment has a large turnover (people are leaving for a reason).
  • If you speak with one person on the phone, and meet a different person who shows you the apartment.
  • If they can’t or refuse to give you the exact rent amount.
  • If they tell you that have to “run some numbers” based on your history. An apartment’s rent should be the same for everybody.
  • If they can’t answer basic questions about service providers for the apartment.
  • If you get a weird vibe from them. Listen to your intuition! This is the person who is going to be responsible for fixing all your apartment related problems, you will be dealing with them every month at least. If they seem unreliable, don’t sign the lease!

5. Step Five: Find your appointment buddy! Never, ever, EVER go to look at a potential apartment by yourself. I don’t care how friendly Wendy seems online, she may be a serial killer. There’s no way to tell. Here’s a list of people who can accompany you:

  • Your older brother
  • Your boyfriend/girlfriend
  • Your Aunt Meredith
  • Your second cousin
  • Your friend who can scream really loudly
  • Your Mother
  • Your Step Mother
  • Your old nosey neighbor who smells like cats
  • Literally anyone you can trust

Bribe them with chocolate, I don’t care. Take someone with you! If you absolutely cannot find anyone to go with you, then you need to take additional precautions. Here are some options:

  • Kitestring
  • “Share My Location” on your Iphone
  • Pepper Spray
  • Posting to Facebook the address you are going to and when you are expected to arrive and leave.
  • Rescheduling your appointment to a date and time when you can be accompanied

Checklist

A mental checklist is good in theory, but will you remember it when you’re actually at the prospective apartment with your Aunt Meredith? I think not! Make a physical list of some of the following points, and feel free to add your own. my list is super extensive, but that’s just who I am. I am detail oriented.


Tuck this list in your back pocket and consult it when the person showing you the apartment is not looking.

Expense related

  • How much is the rent?
  • Is the rent just the rent, or are there any amenities included? Some apartments include heat, hot water, or electric expenses.
  • Is hot water included (if the apartment has a washer/dryer in it, then the water is probably a separate expense)?
  • What Internet service providers are available?
  • What electric service providers are available?
  • Do I have to pay for garbage removal?
  • What is the average electric expense that other renters deal with?
  • Ask when rent is due. Find out what the rent check procedure is.

Basic

  • What type of heating/cooling is provided?
  • What appliances are in the kitchen? *If there is no oven or fridge and you are required to buy your own then run*
  • What is the apartment complex turnover rate?
  • Do you have a choice of carpet vs. hard wood floors?
  • Will window blinds be provided? *If the apartment complex won’t pay for something as simple as window blinds then the landlord is a cheapskate and can’t be trusted*
  • Is there a “curfew”? Most apartments have a time of night when all the tenants are supposed to be quiet. This is generally not enforced.
  • What will your address be?

Additional

  • Is any furniture included?
  • Is there a Laundromat in the complex? If not where is the closest one?
  • Similarly, is the Laundromat in the complex card operated or quarter operated? Do you have to pay a fee for the card? Is there a quarter dispensing machine?
  • Will you be given a free parking permit? *If parking is not free then run*
  • Ask about local shopping and gas stations.
  • Ask where your mailbox will be.
  • Ask what their pet policy is. (some apartment complexes charge an fee)
  • Ask what their policy on repainting/decorating is.
  • Ask what their maintenance request policy is.
  • Ask where the nearest dumpster is.
  • How often does the complex loose power?
  • Is there a nearby police station or fire department?

General check

  • Check all cabinets (for bug infestations or mouse droppings or that they open properly).
  • Open all the windows and check to see that there are screens installed. Especially important for us cat owners! If there are no screens- are they going to install screens before you move in?
  • Check that all the light switches work.
  • Check that the water turns on.
  • Flush the toilet.
  • Check all the closet space (for size, mold, and water damage).
  • Check how all the doors are set (some apartments will put doors in incorrectly and they’ll never close properly).
  • Check the outlets (bring a phone chord and plug it in).
  • Check any balcony access.
  • Take a look at the paint- is it chipped? Is it stained? Will they be repainting?
  • Knock on the walls to see how hollow they are (hollow walls require studs if you want to hang anything up).
  • Open up the oven and make sure it’s clean. If it’s not clean make it clear that it should be cleaned if you want to move into the apartment. It’s not your job to clean up after the previous tenant.
  • Check that none of the floorboards are sticking up/creaking.
  • Check for nails and screws in between hardwood floor, tile and carpet (I’m not even kidding).
  • Check your phone to see how much cell service you have.
  • Can you hear any neighbors? Could you hear them in the hallway?

Final Decision

If the apartment you visited fits all your criteria, feel free to tell the landlord that you’re interested in pursuing this apartment. This way they can advise you of the next steps. Before you sign ANYTHING, visit the apartment complex twice more to make sure that everything is kosher. Do NOT tell the landlord that you will be coming by.

  • During the day: Do a drive-by of your prospective apartment to see what it looks like during the day. Is it safe? Are there lots of people standing around outside? Is it loud?
  • During the night: Come back another night to check the safety of your apartment. Ask yourself- would I feel comfortable taking the trash out late at night? Having friends over? If the answer is “no” then run…

Additional Resources

Apartment Setup: My post that briefly outlines locating, checking out, and setting up a new apartment. Also has some next steps that I’m not going over in this post. It’s pretty good if I do say so myself!

Apartment Hunting 101: A list of helpful resources all relating to locating and checking out potential apartments. Some of the links aren’t set up correctly, so you will need to copy and paste them into a new browser.

NYC Renters: This post is designed for NYC Renters, but the points are still valid even if you’re not renting in NYC. A must read!

Stuff Nobody Tells You: I love love LOVE @hipdomestic so much! They haven’t posted anything recently, but this blog is an incredible resource. Check out this post that really goes into depth about apartments.

Sneak Pt. 1 [M]

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Graphic smut, this is pure filth, i am not sorry, ceo!namjoon

Word Count: 5.3k

A/N: this shoot had me feeling all sorts of ways. don’t tempt me into making this a series because i very well could lol oops rip me. Also, this is unedited. I will be coming back to it to make edits once I finally sleep

Originally posted by hobi-claus

You stood behind the podium and stared out into the boardroom. The group of unamused business men clad in suits that costs 6 months of your rent stared back at you. The youthful face of the CEO stood out amongst the wrinkled frowns of everyone else in the room. You tried not to stare, or at least not let him notice you were staring. You had been working for this corporation for 3 months but you still hadn’t gotten used to the idea that Namjoon was your boss. Granted, there weren’t many CEO’s in their 20’s anyway.

But he was handsome. His dirty blonde hair always sat messily upon his head. Thick black framed glasses sat perfectly on his face while two dimples frame the sides of his perfect lips. Not that you had notice his perfect lips to begin with. Namjoon was your boss, a mantra that you had to remind yourself on a daily basis because if it weren’t for that then you would certainly be wanting to get him in the supply closet. But Namjoon was your boss.

Taking a deep breath, you started your presentation. It seemed like all the knowledge your fancy degree had given you went out the window as soon as you started to speak. You weren’t even sure if it was english, but before you knew it you had reached the last slide. Silence filled the room as the men in suits took in the last of your words. “Any questions?” you asked.

There was no response. Just pairs of empty eyes staring back at you. The overwhelming feeling of failure creeped into your bones as you stood awkwardly in place, unsure of what to do. Finally, the grumpiest of all the men raised an eyebrow and started to speak, “How is this relevant to our company? The ideas you are proposing are very provocative, but we don’t run the business this way. It seems a little out of reach, don’t you think?”

Keep reading

mythover  asked:

Hey there love your blog. Quick question I'm trying to write a fanasty book where one of the main characters use both swords & guns. A katana on his left hip & a short katana on his right aswell as carrying a desert eagle on his person but he lives in a world where technology & magic exist except firearms are illegal. Is it possible to write scene's where this combintaion works?

The “short katana” would be a wakizashi. It’s a distinct weapon in its own right and was traditionally part of a samurai’s accoutrements, though this is probably the least significant issue here.

The combination works in so far as you remember that real people make really horrible decisions in an attempt to seem cool. The Desert Eagle is a very flashy, somewhat terrible, gun. You carry one as an aesthetic choice, not because you want to actually kill someone with it. It’s big, bulky, unreasonably heavy, and stupidly expensive. The only point to owning one is to say, “look at what a badass I could be.”

The katana is a very flashy, somewhat terrible, sword. Stop me if this one sounds familiar; this is a sword you carry as an aesthetic choice, not because you actually want to kill someone with it, but because you want to say, “look at what a badass I could be.”

In both cases you’re talking about items that present the concept of a weapon far more valuable, lethal, and cool, than the real articles offer. With the katana, there’s also all of the associated cultural baggage. The katana is, literally, a holy symbol in Shinto. If your character is carrying one for religious reasons, that’s one thing; but, if they’re looking for “the best sword,” then, it’s a terrible choice.

It’s also probably worth pointing out that both the Desert Eagle and the katana require two hands to wield properly. Desert Eagles have a “floating mag,” meaning the magazine remains somewhat loose in the grip, while locked. If the operator fails to properly stabilize the pistol, this can result in the pistol failing to feed, meaning it won’t properly load the next round into the chamber, and forcing the user to cycle the slide manually. This isn’t an issue if you’re using the pistol as designed, but if you’re trying to fire it one handed, because your other hand is occupied with a katana, it could easily result in a dead man’s click long before the magazine is empty.

There’s a similar issue with the katana, the design works with the idea that the wielder will be using it with both hands. Specifically you use your index and middle ring and pinky finger on your off-hand to control the blade, while using your main hand for power. The problem with wielding one single handed should be immediately obvious; you can flail around with it, but you can’t really get much value from it that way. At that point, you’d almost be better off with a machete, simply because it would offer a more comfortable grip, and would be easier to swing.

While wakizashi are frequently matched with a katana and sold together, they’re not intended for simultaneous use. The wakizashi had distinct uses, mostly so the samurai would have a blade they could actually use in doors, but it wasn’t supposed to be dual wielded with a katana. Think of it like buying a kitchen knife set, sure there’s eight knives in there, but you’re not going to be using all of them together at once.

I’ll add, I’ve got nothing against a character that has a reason to use a katana. If it’s a badge of office, a family heirloom, a sign of their order or training, that’s fine. It’s the idea that “this is the best possible sword ever,” which I object to. It’s a two-handed sword. It’s not particularly great. It has a dedicated martial style, predicated on using very fragile blades, (and historical katanas are exceedingly fragile).

Finally, if you’ve got a setting where firearms are outlawed, there’s a few problems specific to the Desert Eagle. I mentioned that they were large and expensive, so let’s break those down a little. First, these are massive pistols. A Mark XIX Desert Eagle weighs just under four and a half pounds. For a pistol that is comically heavy. This is also a gun that is over a foot long. These are large handguns. They are difficult to conceal. If you’re living in a setting where owning a gun is illegal, this is the last thing you want to be carrying on the street. (They’re pretty terrible carry weapons in the real world as well.)

On the current market, with firearms that are legal to buy, a used Desert Eagle will set you back at least $1,200 ($1,400 to $1,700 is more likely, for a gun in decent shape). In contrast, if you’re shopping for a solid conceal carry pistol you can expect to spend somewhere between $400 and $500. Even high grade “tactical” pistols rarely break $1k, unless they’re collector’s items (or SIGs). Most “cool” pistols you see on TV probably cost between $600 and $1k.

If you’re wondering why SIGs manage to command higher prices, it’s because (in most cases) they’re remarkably high quality. I’ve had issues with the American produced SIG Sauer P226s, but in general SIGs are worth the money.

The Desert Eagle really isn’t worth the money. As I said earlier, these are guns you buy to show off, not because you’re looking for a carry weapon.

And, all of this is before you step back and apply the economics for a setting where getting a handgun is illegal. At that point, you’re talking about a gun that could easily cost more than an older model car. Those economics skew against you even harder every time your character pulls the trigger.

Desert Eagles come chambered in a couple different rounds. There’s .357 magnum, .44 magnum, and .50AE. (Technically, there’s also .41 magnum and .440 variants as well.) Gun stores aren’t going to stock a lot, but you can buy them if you’re using something chambered for it. Also worth noting, if you’re dropping the hammer on a .50AE Desert Eagle, it will set you back more than a dollar per bullet. (The current, actual cost in the US is ~$1.35 per round.) But, if you’re in a setting where firearms aren’t easily available, your black market’s going to need to focus on rounds they can actually sell. They may keep a little bit around (and would charge way more than the price I just quoted), but once it’s gone, getting your hands on more could be very difficult. In this sense, it would be much safer if your character was using a firearm that matched to the common calibers in their setting. The reasoning is, that your black market may not keep much .50AE around (if they keep any at all), but they probably will stock 9mm, .45, or whatever your setting’s cops use. It’ll cost substantially more than it would in the real world, but it will be something your character can buy. It also won’t leave behind freakishly expensive shell casings every time they open fire. A string of killings involving a .50AE pistol? That will bring the cops down on their contacts looking for someone who’s been scavenging around the black market for those 12.7mm rounds far faster than a few people who got plugged with a black market .45.

To a lesser extent, the katana and wakizashi have a similar issue. Yeah, sure, they’re cool, I guess, but they’re also memorable. If your character is using a sword (and that’s common in the setting), having the cops looking for someone using a guy with a katana will result in a much shorter search ending at their doorstep than someone with a random non-descript sword or even something like a machete.

If the katana is enchanted, then sure, your character is kind of stuck with it (up to a point), but it’s still a weapon they’d need to be somewhat careful about hiding, and more careful about using.

So, yeah, it’s entirely plausible that you’d have a character who thought all of these were a good idea. If you have a setting where they could actually get their hands on them is a different question.

If you’re thinking they could use the weapons together, then no. They could switch between them, but trying to use them all at once would result in wild flailing, and a malfunctioning pistol.

I can think of, at least, one legitimate reason why your character might carry around a Desert Eagle (or a katana) in a setting like you’re describing, and that’s to scare people. If you’re an enforcer for some shadowy criminal organization, then being able to shove a 14 inch, chrome, monster gun up someone’s nose is an effective option (and yes, the Desert Eagle is a model of handgun you can press into someone without disabling it). But, even then, they’d probably carry something far more practical for times when they were there to kill someone, and not just put the fear of Elmer Keith into them.

Depending on the setting (or the organization they work for), then they might carry and use a katana for that kind of intimidation instead. For instance: If they were Yakuza, it would make some sense. At that point, you might reasonably get a character who used that exact set of weapons for intimidation, and would actually use the katana or wakizashi when provoked.

In general, though, there’s nothing wrong with a character thinking this is all a good idea. It’s not. But, if they could afford it, they might go chasing after that concept anyway.

-Starke

EDIT: As @fox-bright kindly reminded me, it’s the third and fourth fingers on your off hand that you use to control a katana, rather than the first and second. Sorry about that.

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Just Between Us (Jungkook angst/fluff)

Request: “You and Jungkook are secretly dating and there’s a scandal telling that he’s hiding his relationship" - from mymisstina

Originally posted by jung-koook

Word count: 1.8k

Genre: Angst/fluff


You pulled back the curtain and peered out, squinting against the sunlight. Your neighbor was taking out the trash and a woman was jogging past. You scanned the street for anything suspicious, then pulled the curtain closed.

“Can we just have the curtains open, please,” your dad called from the couch, not turning away from the TV.

“No,” you said. “Not yet.”

“What are you expecting to see, exactly?” your mom asked. You turned and watched her fold laundry on the dining table.

“I don’t know,” you said. “People taking pictures of the house. People throwing eggs.”

She laughed.

“Honey, no one’s looking for you.”

You opened the curtain again and looked around. You knew that she was right, and you weren’t sure why you were struggling to relax. They couldn’t exactly track you down based on a dumb cutesy nickname. But you were worried that your anonymity might make the whole thing more intriguing. They didn’t know who you were, so finding your identity might seem like a challenge to some of them.

You glanced down at your phone, wishing that Jungkook would hurry up with his rehearsal and text you. He always knew how to sooth your anxiety. Even when the pictures came out, he knew exactly what to say.

It was two days earlier. You were in his dorm, on a date. Your dates were almost always confined to either his place or yours, as going out together would cause too much of a stir. He had left the room to take a call, and reentered looking worried.

“What?” you asked.

“Don’t be mad,” he said. He sat close beside you and held your hand. “I did something dumb.”

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It’s Okay

Hey guys! I’ve got my first ever Power Rangers fanfic here. I saw the movie on Thursday and I just really really loved it. I also started shipping Billy x Jason from the moment Jason slapped the shit out of that bully. So, here’s my fic for them. I hope you guys like it!

All mistakes are my own




Jason’s been to a lot of football practices. Like, a lot. But none of them have made him as tired and as sore as training to be a Power Ranger has. Every step he takes, makes some muscle somewhere hurt. But it’s a good hurt, this is the happiest Jason’s been in a long time. He finally feels like for once he’s doing something right. After all nothing beats training to be a superhero and then going for pizza with his friends.

They’ve been getting closer and closer, the five of them. They’re all different, extremely different and at first it wasn’t clear if they actually could get along. But now, Jason can’t think of anything better than hanging out with the other four.

Sadly, tonight’s not a pizza night. Kimberly had to be home for a family dinner. Zach needed to check on his mom and Trini, well she hadn’t said why she was leaving but she left all the same. Which leaves Jason and Billy for the rest of the evening.

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