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Originally posted by shitohsehun

woozi x reader smut

20,480 words

a/n: my first woozi fic, my first seventeen fic, my first kpop fic. this was supposed to be something really simple and silly, but my dumb ass had to go and add a bunch of sadness and backstory to it, as always. as you can see, it got dramatically out of hand. i’m so sorry, i hope someone likes it

~ in which you haven’t gotten off in like six months, and lee jihoon is the pleasure specialist, himself. (he’s also a little bit more than that.)


     “I promise you, you won’t regret this,” Wendy reassured you, but they were words she always said right before she convinced you to do something that you definitely would regret. She’d used them very often over the past year, during which she’d somehow convinced you to go on roughly thirty blind dates that she’d set up in her desperate attempts to get you “back out there.” You knew her heart was in the right place, but every single date had been a disaster. The problem was that if she knew a guy who wasn’t already taken, there was a reason for it. The first set-up been with a guy named Jinho who still lived with his ex-girlfriend (in a one bedroom apartment) and adamantly refused to wear deodorant; one guy, Jinwoo, told you he had recently quit his job and moved back in with his parents because he hadn’t had enough time to play League; you’d tried so hard to will yourself to forget the second to last guy, but how could you forget the name (Daehyun) of someone who sat down across from you and proceeded to ignore you for the whole two hours it took him to eat a salad, baked potato, and two steaks before “suddenly realizing” he forgot his wallet, telling you he didn’t think you were his type, and leaving you to foot the bill.

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anonymous asked:

DO JOAH FAN FIC!!!!

ooooooooo

ok SO 

NOAH IS LIKE, 2 JUDE, BRUH, I GOT A WAY 2 MAKE U HAPPIER K, IT STARTS WIT M AN RHYME WIT TARIJAUANA

AN JUDE LIEK, MY SIS MARIANA?

AN NOAH LIK NAH BRU……….MARIJUANAA…..

JUDE LIKE, MARY WANNA WAUT??

NOAH LIKE..SMH GOOD THING UR CUT.. MARU WNANA GET HIGH?? JUDE LIEK…AH YAAAA..BUT I CANT DO DA SMOKIN..NOAH LIKE

OK BRUH BUT…GUMMY WORM POT… JUDE SI ON BOARD-O

SO DEY EAT DA GUMY WORM WITH DA GRAS.S AND JUDE SAY

DUDE…NOAH LIKE… WHAT …JUDE IS UR NAME FRAND

JUDE LIKE ..AY YA IM JDUE BUT NAH I SAYH DUDE….

NOAH LIKE…OOOOO HAHAHAHAHAHHA… …… . .. ANNANNNNNDDDD DENNNN DA COPS BUSSSSSTTT DA DOOOR DOOWOWWWNWN

BUT IT JUST MOMMA COP STEF WHO WAS JUST TELLIN EM NOT 2 SPOIL DINN LOLOLOLOL

NOAH LOOKS AT JUJDE LIKE…YO MOM IS DA PO PO ????? JDUE LIKE… DUDE.. DA FUK IS A PO PO

DEY FALL O NDA FROUDN AND JUDE THINK…THIS…THIS IS ROMANCE… AND KISSES NOAH

DA END…4 NOW

2

Did you have to ruin what was shining now it’s all rusted
Did you have to hit me?
Where I’m weak, baby I couldn’t breathe.

anonymous asked:

Coolben? More like cool BEAN HAHAHAHAHAHHA ha ha ha

i cant tell if this is always the same person but i get this ask at least twice every month and i dont get it