Dudebrovania—Looks like you’d paint it on a metal
album cover. Or your van. Sounds just as loud. The Belmonts don’t wear
pants, and Alucard doesn’t wear a shirt. The ladies are literally either from
heaven or hell. What is a man? You are. You are a man!
Bishievania—Smells like the ancient tomes from
LiveJournal and Fanfiction.net accounts long since abandoned. The men are
beautiful, and the women are non-existent. Where did these showers of rose
petals come from? Oh, wait. That’s blood. Still pretty, though.
Kookyvania—Came for the skeletons on
motorcycles, stayed for the little girl throwing dragons, the obscene amounts
of curry, the dramatic readings of Worlds of Power novels, and the chair porn. Life
is too short to take seriously. Better enjoy it while you can. Maybe visit the
Statue of Liberty. Beat her trivia contest, too.