I JUST SERVED A CUSTOMER AND THEY WERE PURCHASING A CUCUMBER AND THEY WENT
“It’s for Valentine’s Day”
“You must be lonely?”
THEY REALISED WHAT I MEANT AND NOW I’M SAT WITH A COMPLAINANT FORM IN FRONT OF ME.
And now I’m just imagining Derek Hale at the supermarket at like nine at night on Feb. 13, innocently going through the checkout with his cucumber…..
It’s nine at night on February 13 when this hot-like-burning guy in a leather jacket comes up to Stiles’ lane at the supermarket and plops down a single cucumber and a crumpled dollar bill on the belt.
Stiles hefts it. “Uh, just this?”
The guy nods and offers, “It’s, um, for Valentine’s Day.”
Stiles blurts, “You must be lonely,” because this is his brain on less than three hours of sleep, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. College sucks.
Cucumber Guy’s eyes widen behind his thick-framed glasses (glasses that do nothing to diminish his attractiveness, unfortunately) and he just stands there staring at Stiles, color flooding to his cheeks.
Stiles replays what he just said in his head and mentally slaps himself. “No, wait, that’s not—”
Cucumber Guy just shakes his head, takes his cucumber and his receipt, and walks away.
Gryffindor is like roaring thunder, like the powerfull wind in the treetops, like the tall and majestic mountains and like the hot sun burning down on a summerday.
Hufflepuff is like the gentle rain drizzling down on your face, like a warm crackling fire in a homely stove, like a deer walking through a meadow and like the fresh wind in Spring.
Slytherin is like the waves crushing against the stony cliffs, like the mist that collects around the rivers in deep valleys, like the deep and quiet woods and like a great lake that’s full of secrets and mystery.
Ravenclaw is like a cool rippling stream in the mountains, like the snowstorm that is raging outside, like a proud eagle sailing in the clear blue sky and like a meadow full of blooming flowers.
Let me get one thing straight though… Even if Bucky didn’t have innervation in his arm (aka he couldn’t feel anything other than just pressure, ergo couldn’t feel the arm being blown off) he most definitely felt the searing hot metal that was attached to his fucking shoulder. The metal was glowing red hot where it got blown off. Like if you leave the end of a spoon over an open flame and then grab the other end you still burn the shit out of your hand. So imagine your entire shoulder/biceps is made out of metal and the end of it is so hot that it’s glowing red. You don’t think the skin and bone and muscle it’s attached to wont be burning? Like imagine hot metal touching your bones. Bone pain is literally some of the worst kind of pain you can feel and Bucky had searing hot metal attached to his bones. And beyond that it’s still burning his skin, his ligaments, and his muscles. It’s beyond just burning your hand on a hot object because the metal is integrated into his shoulder. And worst of all he can’t get the thing off. He can’t drop the hot spoon because it’s part of him.
So yeah tell me again that Bucky wasn’t in excruciating pain after that
In which Derek is the grumpy neighborhood firefighter, and Stiles is a bit of a lovestruck idiot.
Stiles winces as he turns the corner, unbearably nervous like he always is whenever he drives Lydia’s car, and pulls into the fire station. He offered this morning to help her with any errands she needed, and she asked him to take her car to the fire station and have them install the car seat. Stiles had no idea this was even a thing—seriously, how hard is it to put in a car seat?—but unsurprisingly, Lydia is as fastidious about her unborn child’s safety as she is about everything else.
He parks just outside the front door, careful not to block the big bays with the two fire trucks, and wanders inside. “Hello?” he calls out. There’s a noise coming from the other side of the fire truck, so Stiles keeps walking in that direction, then nearly trips over his own two feet.
There’s a guy, crouched down as he washes the wheel well of the fire truck, and Stiles is 101 percent sure that he’s the most attractive person he’s ever seen. He’s frowning, as if he’s pissed at the task in front of him, but it only serves to show off the sharp cut of his jaw under a very nicely-shaped short beard. He’s wearing a tight short-sleeved SFFD t-shirt, which is wet in patches and very clearly showing off the muscled physique underneath.
The guy’s head jerks up at that, his eyes wide, and his gaze locks with Stiles’ for a long second before slowly drifting down the rest of his body. Stiles damn near forgets how to breathe because yep, this impossibly hot dude is most definitely checking him out.
Stiles has never believed in love at first sight, and he still doesn’t, but as of this moment he most certainly does believe in…familiarity at first sight? Cosmic connection? Just plain lust? He has no fucking clue.
But he yelps a little in surprise, then actually manages to trip over nothing, only catching himself by clutching the pillar next to him, which oh fuck, is actually the fire pole. He finally rights himself, grimacing with both arms spread for balance, and then slaps a hand over his eyes with a plaintive groan.
“Oh my god. Hi, hello, my name is Stiles. Uh, any chance we can start over and pretend that this excruciatingly embarrassing encounter didn’t happen?”
Hey there :-) Can you make me a rec list about firefighter sterek please? Thanks ;-)
sure! here are some cute and lovely fics that you might haven’t seen before, hopefully you’ll enjoy them!
stiles is a firefighter
You Are My Fire by omelet (Not Rated, 8k)
Derek thinks this is getting a little out of hand. Because honestly, he never would have guessed that he would one day come to own a firemen-themed calendar.
untitled by bleep0bleep (T, 1k)
Laura punches him playfully in the shoulder, chuckling. “Dude, lighten up on the staff here. It’s not their fault they think you’re one of the dudes going in the calendar.”
start a fire in your heart by dedougal (E, 6k)
Stiles wants nothing more than to keep his head down and get on with his job as a firefighter. Of course, that’s when his photo ends up on the front pages, drawing attention from places he thought he’d left behind.
derek is a firefighter
until the clock strikes midnight again by decideophobia (T, 5k) Derek stumbles upon a test then, towards the end of the magazine, and before he realizes what he’s doing, he’s reading out loud, “Are you good in bed?”Stiles drops his pen.
untitled by pantstomatch (T, 3k)
Stiles is not stuck. To random passers-by it could appear that he is stuck, but he’s completely capable of getting down off this motherfucking tree all by himself. There was absolutely no reason to call the fire department, Isaac, given that they have a perfectly serviceable ladder in the garage, and Stiles totally has the agility of a jungle cat. Climbing down this tree should be a piece of cake. It’s just that, you know: tiny kitten.
stop, drop and roll by thepsychicclam (M, 12k)
Stiles knows he’s in trouble when he invites the Beacon Hills Fire Department into his third grade classroom and he can’t stop staring at a certain scruffy fireman. But after the third graders take a field trip to the fire station and participate in the fire department’s holiday canned food drive, Stiles can’t ignore his crush any longer.
boy in blue by kaihire (G,5k)
Stiles gets injured on the job because he’s just awesome like that, and it turns out his usual massage therapist isn’t in. Unfortunately, the masseur who’s replacing him is precisely the reason Stiles ended up getting hurt in the first place.
untitled by thepsychicclam (T,2k)
stiles is a waiter at the diner down the street from the fire station, and fireman!derek comes in frequently for lunch.
everybody loves good neighbors by stilinskisparkles (M, 7k)
What about an “everything run-down and suddenly a guy falls through the ceiling; now there’s a hole in the ceiling of my bedroom”-AU thing?
just when you think you’re in control by trilliastra (T, 2k) While Josh rushes to grab his things and Stiles tries to clean some of the mess on Josh’s table, the door opens with a bang and suddenly Derek Hale is running inside, disheveled and clearly upset.Stiles would feel sorry for him – and in another situation, he would even stop to admire Derek’s perfect body and face – but he crushed a little boy’s heart and that’s unforgivable. In which Stiles thinks Derek is the worst uncle when he’s, actually, the best.
Through Fire by hazelNuts (G, 1k) “‘you’ve just been saved from a burning building and you’re begging to go back in to save your pet cat’ au - sterek - that cat has been by stiles’ side since forever and his mom give it to him and even tho he’s old and almost blind please save him"Derek watches as Boyd tries to stop a man from running back into the burning apartment building. Boyd towers over him, but the guy is a fighter and his colleague is having some real trouble holding him back. The guy is aiming for the places he knows he will hurt the firefighter the most, his crotch, his solar plexus. He even tries to kick him in the knees. This isn’t going to end well for either man if someone doesn’t stop that guy soon.
Emergency Hugs by LadyDrace (T, 2k) EMERGENCY HUGS INQUIRE WITHIN The sign looks cheerful enough, as much as a sign can when composed of entirely letters in a sturdy black frame, but Stiles doesn’t know why he’d stopped to stare at it. Okay, that’s a lie. He does know.
untitled by mad-madam-m (Not Rated, 1k) “Would you like to donate to the Beacon Hills Firefighters Fund?” Stiles gapes at the specimen of a man standing beside his car, holding out a giant rubber boot with a cheerful “DONATE” sign taped to it. The man is tall, dark, bearded, and frowning, though Stiles can’t tell if the latter is because he’s genuinely unhappy or just protecting his eyes from the sun’s glare. “Uh,” Stiles says, because it’s too early for him to think when he’s looking at a firefighter who might as well have walked out of his wet dreams.
Cooking With (A) Fire(man) by literaryoblivion (G, 2k) After a kitchen accident in his dorm, Stiles is forced to take a cooking class as punishment and ends up meeting a very attractive fireman to share his cooking station with… and maybe a few other things.
untitled by howlnatural (T, 2k) After Tilly the three-legged jack russell, Dr McCall - the aforementioned vet -seemed to know instinctively which tragic dog cases Derek wouldn’t be able to turn down. Dana the Australian shepherd and Bobby the former police dog who’d gone deaf in a meth lab explosion followed, and then Derek had moved to a bigger place and kind of forgotten about dating. Until Stiles.
Emergency Love by Kedreeva (E, 14k) Wherein Derek is a firefighter and Stiles is a paramedic, and they just keep meeting.
Hot Like Burning by Leslie_Knope (T, 2.5k)
In which Derek is the grumpy neighborhood firefighter, and Stiles is a bit of a lovestruck idiot.
Cupboard Love by mklutz (G, 33k) He’s carefully balancing the sandwiches and the two biggest tupperware containers he could find that both had functioning lids when the front door opens and he almost drops everything right there in front of the stupid fountain. If that’s Derek Hale, he’s definitely not a mountain man.
untitled by stileshale (Not Rated, 1k) Derek is a firefighter and Stiles likes it when he comes home in his gear.
untitled by lycanthrophies (Not Rated, 2k)
Riling Derek up became a fun past time activity for Stiles pretty fast, because Derek tries so hard to be stoic sometimes, it’s really a highlight to see him crack open and either get adorably flustered, or—even better—make him laugh out loud.
it always confuses me when superman gets drawn burlier than batman. i mean we dance around it but superman is basically super strong due to space magic. he could be a weedy lil string bean and he’d still be able to lift a bus. i’m not saying the muscles don’t help, or that he doesn’t probably have magic space muscles. i’m just saying, all of batman’s strength is muscle-dependant. he has no space magics. in my head he is the more burly of the two just out of necessity. i know he’s kind of got the gymnast thing going on but like. i imagine bruce wayne as more barrel-y and clark kent as more dorito-y. i don’t know why i’m telling you this except that i’m dealing with the realization that this is not the standard assumption.
Today, I fucked up... by taking a bath with my girlfriend
Obligatory this happened two months ago
My girlfriend and I were sick and congested. We were sitting on the couch and she said she was going to take a bath and put in eucalyptus oil and peppermint oil.
She then asked me if I wanted to join. Sure, laying in a hot bath sounded really nice. She went downstairs to grab our towels and I started the bath. As I put the oils in, I yelled asking how much I should put in. I got the answer of only a little bit.
Apparently our definitions of a little bit are different. I don’t know if you know how strong peppermint oil is, but i should be able to paint a picture.
As we climbed in the hot bath, I realized that my asshole was starting to feel like an ice cube was getting shoved up it.
In my congested, mentally drained from illness mind, I said “Hey babe, hot water rises right?”
Right away she looked back at me and screamed “How much fucking peppermint oil did you put in?!”
I said I turned it upside down and maybe like 10 drops got out.
So we jumped out, body covered in water with peppermint. It burned like icy hot. My balls were on fire. My girlfriend starts crying from the pain, and is screaming. I’m in the fetal position trying to wipe water off my balls.
I then get the idea of jumping in the shower and seeing if getting the peppermint off of me was possible. NOPE. Makes it much worse.
Fast forward ten minutes, we are curled up on the couch both covered in multiple blankets trying to get warm. It wears off on my girlfriend and she says she just feels numb, but it doesn’t hurt anymore. Takes me an extra 15 minutes for it to stop hurting.
The heat from the blankets warmed me, but I felt like I had ice under my skin.
Half an hour later, it went away.
And that’s why I’m not allowed to draw our baths anymore.
Tl;dr: girlfriend and I are sick. Decide to take bath. I put enough peppermint oil in bath. My girlfriend and I get it seeping into our pores. Has the effect of icy hot. Balls and asshole are in pain. Girlfriend cries, we have to wait out the pain.
have you ever written anything about Alec and Magnus getting ready for and going to Pandemonium?
i’ve written about them at pandemonium several times but never getting ready so here we are
there was something hazy about the night, the sunset still green at the horizon outside behind the glittering skyline of new york. it was worse inside and alec hadn’t had anything to drink yet but he found himself feeling a little bit tipsy. maybe it had been the kisses, his body pressed against magnus’s in the doorway, the feeling of magnus’s tongue in his mouth and his hands on his hips still making his head spin. or maybe it was just the way he felt as he stood in front of the full length mirror, slowly buttoning a shirt up over dark swirls of chest hair and the edges of his dark black runes.
there was something warm and slow about this evening and about the night he knew was to come. and it got even more so as he stopped buttoning just short of his throat as magnus emerged from the bathroom. he was wearing a burgundy shirt that was hugging his arms in a way that caught every bit of alec’s attention. it was buttoned all the way up to magnus’s adam’s apple, silver necklaces spilling down over his chest, and that always made it a thousand time worse, didn’t it.
and of course magnus knew, he always knew, their eyes catching in the mirror as he walked up behind alec, pressing close enough that the warmth of his body made alec’s eyelids droop.
“it looks good on you.” magnus murmured, and he was close enough that alec could feel his breath on his neck, a shiver shooting down his spine as warm palms pressed into his arms. alec found himself powerless against the urge to lean back into magnus’s chest. he stared at him in the mirror for a second, half lidded eyes and then he glanced back, their faces almost close enough that he could have kissed him.
“that’s because you picked it out.” alec replied, his voice low and a grin pulling at his lips.
Stiles listens to his dad ask him the same question that comes up way too often, and gets lost counting the dark flecks that scatter across the white expanse of the all-too-familiar hospital ceiling. Here again, and ‘He’ll be fine,’ the doctor says.
His dad wants to hear it from Stiles’ lips, though. Is he okay?
Is he really okay?
His answer doesn’t come as easily as it used to, no quip or snap back like it’s easy come easy go. The feckless lie sticks in the back of his throat, burning away like a hot coal choking the life out of him.
He’s said it more than a million times, and no super-hearing anybody has heard his heart skip a single beat. Or maybe they did, but that thought doesn’t make it any easier, because that means they’ve ignored it a million times, too. And it should be easy, he’s brilliant at lying straight to his father’s face these days. Stiles knows how to twist a definition to make it true, how to believe in nothing and make it something.
Molehills out of mountains.
Tip of the iceberg.
Shrink it down until it’s just an ember, a single flicker of pain low in his chest. It burns enough to remind him that it’s there, but cool enough for him to force the words out.
He stops counting the tiny holes in the ceiling, and plasters a bright, brilliant lie across his face.
His cheeks would look rosier than normal. He wouldn’t have bothered to make any effort with his hair, and he’d be engulfed in a warm hoodie. You’d notice that he seems off, questioning him on the matter. Obviously he would say he was fine; he was just tired. You’d decide to lay off him, knowing you may make him feel worse, but you’d keep an eye on him.
If he would be on tour, it would probably be after a show you’d notice. He’d be oddly clingy and whiney; following you around the small hotel room.
“Shawn, what’s the matter hun?” You’d ask softly, expecting his usually response of ‘nothing’ or 'I’m fine’.
To your surprise he would move closer to your body and mumble, “I think I’m sick.”
You’d sigh, wrapping your arms around him, slipping your hands under his hoodie. He would be burning up. Like mega hot, and he would be in a thick jumper.
“You’re so hot baby” you’d whisper, hearing him groan.
“I’m not, I’m freezing” he’d whine, still nuzzling into you more.
“Please take your hoodie off Shawn, you’ll feel so much better, I promise.”
He wouldn’t respond. He would just stand there, being held by you in the small hotel bathroom.
“Come on love” you’d say, pulling the material over his head. This would leave him topless. Topless and shaking from the lack of warmth. “Let’s get into bed.”
You’d take his hand and lead him to the bed, shortly joining him.
“Please keep me warm” he’d mumble into the pillow, wrapped up in the duvet. You wouldn’t be able to say no. So you’d place your cold hands on his back and nuzzle into his warm body, hoping in the morning he feels better.