like a few years or so

I’ve never gone from RAGING to brimming with Petty Joy so fast in my damn life. That will hands down always be one of my favorite moments in. In my entire life. Very few things will feel as good or be as iconic as watching the overrated, mediocre white movie get publically humiliated by the black movie like that. That was nothing short of legendary. They will be talking about that moment 100 years from now. Know that you just witnessed history happening live.

m4d-m4x  asked:

Freewood, any au, marriage proposal because, well, we're all dying here

me @ me: dont make it office au dont make it office au dont make it office au. 

me: here have it set in the actual video u filthy fucks

Make Your Move

“Let’s fix this problem right now,” Ryan says, and Gavin is grinning so wide he feels like his face might split in two.

“Wanna get married?” He asks, and at the same time Ryan continues with, “Will you marry me?”

“…Wot?” Gavin says, voice flat before he starts giggling. He can hear Michael telling Ryan that he could’ve at least done it in a smoother manner rather than on a GTA video.

“Listen, Gavin and I have been together a few years, why not just propose in a Let’s Play?” Ryan says, and Gavin is shaking in his seat, his laughter silent. “It’s romantic!”

“This is going on the internet you moron!” Michael yells, and Jeremy snorts with laughter, swerving his body along with his character.

“We have editors!” Ryan shoots back, and Gavin squeals breathlessly. Michael just sighs an exasperated ‘Jesus fuckin’ Christ’ as Gavin stammers into the microphone.

“Well, at least we’re on the same page, Ryan,” he says when he regains some composure. “I’m sure that gives you your answer.”

“I wanna hear you say it,” Ryan says, and Gavin cuts his character off, killing him in his line. “Oh, you prick!”

“Yeah, I’ll marry you! Just showin’ you some love!”

Ryan picks up a pen and whips it over the monitor, and Gavin sits up and blows him a kiss. Jeremy and Michael both take advantage of this rather stupidly romantic distraction to cut them both off and kill them.

10 sentence prompts?

so i’m watching the extra’s on my the Lost Bladesman dvd and there’s literally a whole segment where they just marvel at how great jiang wen is

some of the things they said: 

  • he’s very mysterious and they couldn’t believe he was actually there working on the movie with them [cryptid confirmed]

  • that he’s a great director himself
  • they find his complexity most attractive
  • his charisma is almost too powerful [”He’s overwhelming.”]
  • he’s the best actor in China
  • and then they just went on and on about how great and subtle his acting is

same tbh…

anonymous asked:

Miss Officer and Mr. Truffles?

a news story broke  from british columbia a few years ago during PEAK TUMBLR involving an RCMP policewoman and a bear, accompanied with this photo:

the teenagers of tumblr found it oh, so adorable and produced fan artwork of it like it were an animated tv show a la gravity falls

then some had a bright idea and figured YOU KNOW WAHT, WE SHOULD MAKE A SHOW PILOT FOR REAL and got together a kickstarter for it


In their kickstarter, it included this completely arbitary breakdown of expenses:

Note how merchandising has a larger budget than the actual art teams. unless you are looking at “production costs” whatever the fuck that means. The project had just BARELY lifted off the ground and they were adamant on duping a quarter of all their earnings into toys for a pilot that was in all likelihood going to be awful.

or art crew… or just

none of this makes any sense

 nonetheless they made several thousand dollars in pledges.

But being this was AT THE TIME OF PEAK TUMBLR

some people did some effortless digging and found the teenager who made the kickstarter used to have a preteen internet handle of “Livethefaggotry”

which ENFURIATED THE PROFESSIONAL UMBRAGE TAKERS OF TUMBLR because they too were largely teenagers and were functionally incapable of chilling the fuck out over internet stalking to justify unloading their social justice rage on other kids.

So this is the silver to Dashcon’s gold, i feel. As far as awful tumblr projects go. With the Arkh Project being bitcoin, relatively speaking.

it was fairly dramatic and agonizing all around.

Husband Jackson Would Be Like

Originally posted by jypnior

  • Would be really proud to be your husband
  • When talking to other people always refers to you as his wife or Mrs. Wang
  • Always showing you off
  • Would want a house full of bedrooms 
  • So you could “test” all the rooms and fill them up with children in a few years
  • Would be a very caring husband
  • Always checking on you to see how you are doing
  • Helps you decorate your home the way you want it
  • Takes you to the his reality shows whenever it’s allowed
  • Which is almost always
  • Because you’re his wife after all
  • Which he makes sure to remember everyone
  • Because he gets jealous
  • And doesn’t mind showing it
  • Like, if you’re talking to some guy who’s trying to flirt with you
  • He’d be watching
  • And yell from the other side of the room
  • “Hey you, I see you there talking to MY WIFE!”
  • So then you show that guy rock you’re wearing on your finger
  • Perfect team work
  • Making you laugh without trying
  • Looking at you like you’re his whole world
  • Because honeslty you are
  • Surprising him with lingerie
  • His squeaky laugh because he was really surprised
  • Then changing to daddy mode real quick
  • Body worship
  • Thigh riding
  • Really passionate 
  • Whispering dirty things in your ear while you ride his thigh
  • Always saying how beautiful you look
  • And how he thinks you are perfect
  • Would want you to have a healthy lifestyle
  • “Jagi, have you tried this? It’s organic!”
  • Would often want to take you to Hong Kong so you could bond with his family
  • Would want to go to wherever you parents live so he could do the same thing
  • Holds your hands whenever you go out
  • Kisses the palm of your hand whenever you’re distracted so he can get your attention
  • Always carry your purse for you
  • Into public teasing  
  • Sassy comments whenever he doesn’t agree with you
  • Which can lead to laughing until your stomach hurts
  • Or petty fights
  • Because you can be just as petty and sassy as him
  • But he would be the first to try to make things better
  • He’s the kind to try to cuddle you and tickle you until you forgive him
  • He would also use those puppy eyes
  • Aaaand make up sex
  • Whispering that he loves you 
  • Entwining your fingers
  • Likes to lay on top of you while you play with his hair
  • That’s when he gets to really feel how much he loves you

  1. Husband Jinyoung
  2. Dating Jaebum

Sorry this was kinda short but I’ve been a little busy lately and haven’t really got7 the time to post that much :(

anonymous asked:

I honestly don't know how to feel about Hufflepuff being the house of the year so quickly before it was seen as "a lame house." Like, everyone quickly changed their view of Hufflepuffs from worst to good while having the need of someone famous to portray a Hufflepuff. I believe that we shouldve been respected like the other houses before it was a great house. I love how it's loved now, but before, Hufflepuffs like me felt so isolated from others before FBAWTFT. Im probably a bit selfish. imsorry

No I get it, hufflepuff has been through a lot of shit and when people suddenly change their mind it raises a few eyebrows. However, I’d say be grateful for what you have. I’d much prefer people to have changed their mind than to still think of hufflepuff as the loser house and, as a ravenclaw, I can tell you it sucks being the only house without a protagonist

I know you feel very protective of your house, and suddenly it’s like you have to share it with all these people who never had the time of day for it before, but it’s hufflepuff’s time to shine and don’t let a few two faced people ruin that for you


It’s hilarious how far people will go to not ship otayuri. Ship what you want. Literally, I’m completely fine if you don’t ship it for any reason other than their age gap, I don’t judge. But, not shipping them just due to their age gap is so uncalled for. Their age gap is literally three years. It’s basically a high school senior and a sophomore. That’s nothing out of the extraordinary, even in real life it’s common for people to date with a few years apart. Chances are your parents might have a larger age gap than a mere three, four, or even five years. Viktor and Yuuri are five years apart, yet you don’t bash them. It’s not like I want you to bash them but, why is that? Is it because they are both of the consenting age? When Yuuri was 16, Viktor was 21. As people age and their relationship grows, literally a three or five year age difference seems only like minutes apart.

Could it be you not only ship it because of their age gap, but also because if sex were to occur it would be deemed as rape, since Yuri is only 15? Listen here buddy chum pal, some relationships don’t rely on sexual romance. The most sexual thing I imagine Otabek and Yuri doing at their age is probably watching a movie with a sex scene and both of them getting embarrassed and having to look away from the damned screen. It’s not like Otabek and Yuri can’t share a healthy and platonic relationship without sex until Yuri is able to consent due to the ode of the laws. Or would you bash that since a movie with a sex scene is probably rated 18+ and Yuri is a minor so he can’t watch it… It’s not like us teens watch rated R movies these days.

Of course it’s okay to be disinterested in a ship due to their ages, but a small age gape such as three years is so uncalled for. But, stop the hate over their age gap, for god’s sake. Hate the ship for some other god forsaken reason. As again, I honestly don’t care what people ship. You can probably ship Nico and JJ and I would be fine with it. Nico nico ni and JJ style… two mantras made in heaven… or hell. Idol hell. Holy shit it’s perfect.

flamebite66  asked:

Omg I just love your character Tyco. He and Angel are so cute together. I want to do some fanart with him. Hand I just realize he's so tall! Is there a bio about him?

Heyyy!! First off, thank you for loving that super old character of mine~ <33

Second, I don’t have a bio/ref for him at the current moment 8c 

He’s in dire need of one, however; I plan on making an official updated character reference sheet for him once school is over and I get my obligations intact. I can’t really afford to do many super nice pieces, as they inhibit time I could spend on commissions, BUT-

He’ll get one, very very soon c:

anonymous asked:

So I work at a pretty big chain (super)store. Truck drivers aren't allowed to park in our parking lot anymore because a few years back there was apparently a woman that would exchange sexual services for money. This woman also had HIV. And didn't tell her clients this fact. Wtf is wrong with some people! Like I get that that's your chosen way to provide an income for yourself buuut if you have a disease that can literally kill someone you kinda need to disclose that??????

Those women are “lot lizards”. My dad had one knock on his door when he was a long haul truck driver. He told her he wasn’t interested and she high kicked him in the face. He was equally impressed and pissed at the same time because she was standing on the little step ladder to get into the cab when she did that. Flexible as hell. My dad couldn’t stand lot lizards because he just wanted to sleep ffs.  Not sleep with them. He always called them the jehovahs witnesses of the sex trade. You don’t go to them, they come to you. Whether you like it or not. -Abby





slowbirthing  asked:

This question is unrelated to your beautiful harp playing- I have very similar hair texture to yours but I can't manage it easily. How do you care for your hair?

Luckily I was able to find a way in the past few years that doesn’t take too much time, but of course, still costs a bit of money. As you most likely know though, it’s better not to wash our kind of hair every day, so luckily I don’t use up these products as fast as I could.

My hair care regimen

  1. In the shower, I start out by wetting my hair, lathering in DevaCurl No-Poo and then rinsing immediately
  2. Next, I massage in DevaCurl One Conditioner or Theorie Argan Oil Ultimate Reform Conditioner and comb through my hair with my fingers, spreading out the conditioner
  3. I then clip my hair up and let the conditioner sit while I wash my body
  4. After washing, I rinse out the conditioner and lightly comb through my hair again with my fingers to make sure everything is out
  5. I lightly ring my hair out (still in the shower), pump some DevaCurl Ultra Defining Gel into my palms, and grab my hair from the tips and scrunch upwards until almost all my hair is in my hands with my hands to my head
  6. I then lightly squeeze out extra water in my hair and wrap it up / clip it with a hair clip
  7. Once I step out of the shower, I wrap my hair in a microfiber hair towel, lightly pat it, and let it sit for 30 minutes - 2 hours (depending on how much time I have)


Note, you can also get the DevaCurl products in sets, which may save you some money.

Hopefully this is useful!


Mafia AU

Word count: 1009

A/N 1: At the ending of last school year I was a little bit idgaf and missed a lot my lessons and so even this year a lot of my classmates and even some teachers began suspecting that maybe I’m in some shady business as I don’t really like telling people what I’m doing… So yeah, long story short quite a few people believe I’m friends with the wrong people or that I’m doing something illegal, I find this hilarious, so that’s why I wrote this short story…

Originally posted by mglt-sayhello

“Shit.” you mumbled to yourself

You were bleeding. A lot. Or so it seemed to you. But you never wanted for it to end up this way. It all started as a joke, why did anyone even make a big deal out of it?

“In pain?”

A black haired man was standing in front of you. He was wearing a black classy suit. Somehow even this appearance sent shivers down your spine.

“You know everything would have been much easier if you just told me in the beginning where the drugs were.”

This situation was so bad it’s funny. You taught for a while how to answer. You have been telling him the truth from the start but of course he wouldn’t believe you, who would. Stupid. You were so stupid to even start this game.

“As I told you before, I don’t know. Or more like there aren’t even any drugs, how many times do I have to say it?”  you told him through gritted teeth.

A sharp pain went through your body again.

“How about you stop talking nonsense and wasting my time and just tell me where they are.”

“Maybe I would if you stopped kicking me when I’m already down!” you shouted in pain.

It was not working. This torturing was going too far. You were still shocked as it is that he shot you. You were thinking about a way out of this but strength was already starting to leave your body.

“Oh no, you don’t get to pass out on me before you tell me” he put his fingers on your chin and made you look at him.

But at this point you were too tired. “Whatever” you thought. It’s not like you have a plan or anything and it’s too late to explain that none of that story is true. He wouldn’t listen anyway. You looked him in the eyes. They were so dark but no anger or anything like that in them. Actually there was no expression on his face at all. You wondered what he was thinking. With all the strength that you had you smacked his hand away from your face.

“Do not touch me.”

“I think you don’t understand the situation you’re in right now.” he told you standing up, still looking at you.

“I do actually,” you said. “And it’s so funny that this has been going on for so long that everyone really started to believe me and I even got myself involved with the real things!”  you started laughing.

That caught him a little bit off gourd but he didn’t let it show on his face. He sighed. I think it was about time he was done with you. He started pacing back and forth in the room.

“Ah, you’re a pain. What should I do with you?”

“How about you believe me and just leave me alone?”

“Nope, can’t do that. You see I have heard how good you are with words.”

“Great. Just great.”  you thought. He knows another lie about you. Well it was not exactly a lie, you were pretty good with coming up with stories. Actually really good, so good that everyone around you believed you even though you were bluffing all this time. At first you found it funny but later on you just couldn’t drop the act but now see where this got you.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked in a harsh tone.

You didn’t realize but while being lost in thoughts you stared straight at him. Okay. Don’t panic. You’re not afraid. Well you were but of course you can’t show it.

“I have eyes, so can’t I?”

Good job. You did not want to sass him. Why did out of all the possible answers you told him that. You waited in silence for him to say something. A small smirk appeared on his face.

“Okay, I see there’s no point from me to talk to you anymore because you clearly don’t feel intimidated. I think I should bring you to someone who will make you talk.”

He started approaching you. Still holding your wound you tried standing up from the wall and get something to protect yourself.

“And now you suddenly want to fight? Why not do it earlier?”

You did not say anything because even though you wanted to just kick him and go you did not have the strength anymore. You watched as he approached you and just threw you over his shoulder. He signalled the other men you even forgot were in your room to open the door. You tried punching or doing anything really but you couldn’t even see clearly. Did you really lose that much blood? He went for the stairs and took you out through the back. It was dark but of course he couldn’t risk someone seeing you. He placed you in the trunk and shut it. You tried your best to stay awake but you were tired and just done with everything, so you close your eyes not knowing if you will ever open them again.


But you did. You were surprised by the sight as you slowly opened your eyes. You were in a hospital. A nurse came to check on you.

“Oh, you’re awake!”


“No need to worry. You’re in the Phoenix Private Hospital.”

Good. You were still in the city.

“That was some nasty accident, we’re glad you’re okay now. It will still be some time till you recover but we will take good care of you.”


“Yes, don’t you remember? Oh dear, I will call the doctor, I hope you don’t have a concussion.” the nurse said as she quickly left the room.

Oh you do remember. But it was no accident. Why would she even say that? As you were pondering silent steps could be heard outside. You looked up expecting the man from the night before to enter the room. It was not him though.

“Yoongi.” you hissed.

“Well good morning to you too.”

A/N 2: Thanks for reading! Also sorry for any grammar mistakes I may have missed. I may continue this or make a series out of this if inspiration strikes me again and if anyone would be interested  😂

anonymous asked:

Is it a common ace thing to sooo not understand why people would want to date someone they don't know? Or is that generally normal? Because for the life of me the concept of dating someone you don't already like is so weird!!

It’s common. I personally do (barely) understand why, but only because I spent years in the dating scene. Basically, people get the itch for physical intimacy, so you go on a few dates with a stranger that you sense potential with, and some minimal mutual attraction eventually sprouts.

- Fae

More of Me

Tagged by @mysevenkids - thank you so much!

(Rules: tag 10 people you’d like to get to know better)

Relationship status:  Divorced. Have been happily living with Jim - @youknowivealwaysbeenadreamer for two years now.

Favorite color:  Blue. The ocean is blue. The sky is blue. My eyes are blue. What’s not to like about blue?

Pets:  One spoiled little five or six-year old Jade dog. She’s part chihuahua, part dachshund, part greyhound and likely a few dozen other breeds too. I got her as a rescue from the San Diego animal shelter three and a half years ago.

We also have two cats, Annie and Phurball. Annie’s kidneys started failing last summer but she’s too mean to die. Both cats were adopted by Jim over a decade ago when they were found living under a porch. They have their own bedroom in the house, chock full of cat structures and toys. Tough life.

Last song I listened to:  Sugaree by Jerry Garcia. I was listening to my Discover Weekly playlist on Spotify which introduces me to new songs and new artists. It helps me expand my horizons a little bit.

Favorite TV show:  Currently enjoying Modern Family, American Pickers, and Storage Wars with Jim, and Series of Unfortunate Events with Ivan.

First fandom:  I think I’m too old for fandoms.

Hobbies:  Traveling, hiking, walking, photography, and jigsaw puzzles. And now buying storage lockers, I guess.

Favorite book: The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Worst thing you’ve ever eaten/tasted:  Well, there was that one time that I accidentally swigged someone’s tobacco spit that had been accumulating in the bottom of his beer cup. Chewing tobacco spit is disgusting.

Favorite place: Charles Lindbergh’s grave on Maui. It’s the most beautiful, calming, restorative spot on Earth. 

I tag: @youknowivealwaysbeenadreamer @wittyclitty @watamom @trackabandoned @bekaboo @ashtrayhole-dawg @thehallhousehold @toodarkpark @walking-with-iphone @professionalvcrrepairman

anonymous asked:

I've been completely deaf since an really bad illness messed with my nerves as a baby. My friend came up with this cool AU/headcanon thing where Junkrat's hearing is almost completely gone because of all the bombs he sets off and so he and Roadhog communicate with sign language until Overwatch hooks him up with a set of hearing aids (that he totally hates and never wears). Ik it's not canon compliant but I thought it was really cute and I love deaf characters (even non canonical ones).

I should have answered this ask way, way long ago because it is really fucking like personal and actually really endearing and shit and holy fuck, yes, hard-of-hearing Junkrat.

I’ve actually seen a few artists who do this, and one of which, (if you like Roadrat or think they’re super chill friends with one another) is pigdemonart. They gave Junkrat hearing aids in their comic, which is about the Junkers about twenty or so years later pretty much living with one another and doin shit all as usual. Junkrat has them mostly ‘cause he’s getting older, but in the comic he’s only about 40-something or so, and pigdemon has said it is mostly just caused by oodles of explosions.

I’m not really sure of any other artists who have drawn Junkrat like this, but I have seen art of Roadhog using Australian Sign Language (AuSL? Asl? ???) for him and such, and other things with this headcanon in particular. 
Fuckin tho, if you guys find this shit, feel free to pm it to me or like tag me in it. I would love to add stuff onto this ask for this anon.

I’m still alive!

Hello all you beautiful readers and watchers! I just wanted to say hello and point out that I am not, in fact, dead, though I am drowning in an ocean of never-ending school work. 

So, as hard as I’m trying, new chapters will be slow to come. I am sorry about that - I like giving you guys stuff to read, but there’s simply no time or extra brain power right now. In a few months I’ll be done and have all summer before I begin teaching for real (in my own classroom, with my own students, eeeeeeeh I’m so excited!), and I plan on writing a ton then. 

You could even say…a skele-ton!

Originally posted by temmiewithwingskat

Also, on a completely unrelated note, I finally got a tattoo I’ve been thinking about for the past few years! A large part of finally choosing to get it was because of the friends I’ve made in the Undertale community and the support I’ve seen for others with mental health issues. This game shows mental health issues in a realistic light, and being part of this community has helped me come to terms with some of my own. That’s why I chose to add a heart to my semi-colon tattoo; it’s a reminder that every SOUL, no matter how small, dull, or broken, is cared for by somebody. 

I love all you guys so, so much, even if we’ve never talked or met! I care about each and every one of you. 

Originally posted by huilizen

anonymous asked:

I don't have to be to beg my parents for a dime, I grew up spoiled and always will be:) sucks you cant relate. & my bf spoils the fuck out of me too. Best part he's only a few years older and not an old man that drains me/ ruins my mood like the men u sbs constantly rant about. It's not feminity that gets u shit, it's how desperate u are and how u have to actually work & fuck guys u don't like to have things given to u.. LOL thatd suck I'd hate that

If splitting a big mac and small fries with your man equates to being spoiled i guess… You go girl. Sex workers are so jealous of you sis

anonymous asked:

So I'm ace, and I have a gigantic crush on a guy who is also ace. Neither one of us are aro. We've been friends for a few years and I honestly think I'm in love with him, plus we could have a great relationship cause, ya know, we're both ace. We wouldn't have to worry about to pressures of doing sexual stuff. That's a rare thing to find. But he seems to only like me as a friend. Is there anything I can do?

straight up ask him. I know there is a lot to be afraid of, but there’s no point in not asking. if he says no, hopefully you guys can still be friends, especially if you both mean a lot to each other. 


Very last minute update for my tumblr exclusive followers, but I’ll be at ECCC this coming weekend with a host of friends selling multiple products! Please come by if you can make it, I’d like to meet you!

Things I’ll be selling:

  • Valorous Tales EXCLUSIVE first chapter. (Contains brand new art and updated dialogue)
  • Just for Yoo (A sketchbook containing three years worth of VTales related content) 
  • FAST (An art book featuring really silly sonic the hedgehog drawings by @eliselu and I)
  • 5 x 7 Prints, (such as the Bomberman and Last Dragon one I uploaded a few days ago. Maybe even that Steven Universe one that everyone liked so much)

I don’t have a huge quantity of items, since I didn’t want to go overboard, so be sure to swing by as soon you can!

Learning to Read

Pairing: Tywin x (daughter) Reader, Tyrion x (sister) reader

Fandom: Game of Thrones

Warnings: None…but it’s my first and it’s a little long… Eh, Tywin may be a little OOC.  

Summary: You are the youngest Lannister daughter and are struggling with your reading, so you get help from your brother, Tyrion.  Reader is six years old.  Mostly fluff.

Word Count: 3,582



Tywin Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock, and previous Hand of the King sat in his study, pouring over documents and filling in signatures.  He hadn’t gotten any sleep the past few days, mainly because the fools of the Eyrie didn’t know how to strike a proper bargain.  Lord Tywin had never liked the Lady Arryn but while her husband, the true Lord of the Eyrie was away, he was forced to make political agreements and meet her terms.

There was a knock on the door, and he looked up, frowning.  Everyone knew not to disturb him when he worked on his documents.  It was either something important or a rather stupid servant.  He called for them to open the door.

The servant that stood before him was young and broad-chested.  He’d probably make a good soldier in a few years, but Tywin never took the time to learn his servants’ names.  This boy was no different.  He swallowed, and Tywin raised an eyebrow.

“My lord,” the servant began.  Then he stopped talking.

“Yes?” Tywin said, looking straight at him.  “You came into my study during a critical time, clearly you have something to tell me.”

Tywin could see the boy swallow away the lump in his throat.  His fingers drummed the desk, and he glanced at the tower of documents at the table.  

“My lord, it’s about your daughter,” the boy said, and Tywin’s attention was automatically caught. The boy couldn’t tell this though, for Tywin kept his same stoic expression.  “The Septas have been looking for her, but she seems to have disappeared.  They say she’s not doing well in her lessons and that she’s struggling with her reading.”

Tywin’s face hardened, remembering a similar experience with his eldest son, Jaime.  

“Very well, you are dismissed,” Lord Tywin said to the boy.

He nodded and fled the room. Tywin looked over at the documents. Y/N, his daughter, would have to wait until he finished the bulk of these.  He had a pretty good idea where she was hiding.  The girl had never been too good at keeping secrets.

As Tywin worked, he mused on his daughter.  He thought that his late wife was finished giving birth when she gave birth to Tyrion, but Y/N had come more than a decade later, a pleasant surprise for all of them. Tywin hadn’t expected to be a father again, and he worried for his wife, that her body couldn’t handle it, but she had given birth to a healthy daughter.  His wife had named her Y/N, though Tywin had wanted to name her after an ancestor.  Lady Joanna had insisted on Y/N though, so they went with that.

Tywin finished up his paperwork and left his office, ignoring the bowing servants and “milord”s as he walked through the stronghold.  He left the castle and went through the gardens.  Since he had told Y/N that her mother had loved the gardens, they had become her favorite place.  Sure enough, he saw her seated on a bench below one of the larger trees.

He cleared his throat loudly, and she turned to look at him with those striking emerald eyes –Joanna’s eyes.  His daughter was only six and as gentle as a hummingbird.  Her long golden hair splashed down her back.  Of all his children, she looked the most like her mother.

It was as if the child realized the danger she was in with her father’s arrival.  She jumped to her feet, smoothed her dress and curtsied before him.

“Good afternoon, father,” she said with all the bearing of a lady at court.  She knew her courtesies well.

“Why aren’t you in your lesson, Y/N?” he asked, cutting to the point.  It was true he was probably softer with her than his other children, but that was only because she hadn’t caused him nearly as much grief.  When a child misbehaved though, it was a father’s duty to correct that child.

“I don’t like the septa,” Y/N said.  “She’s boring.”

“I don’t care if you like the septa.  You’re learning to read.  Children outside these walls don’t get that opportunity.  Someday you will thank me for everything I’ve done for you,” he said. “Let go of your pride and do your lesson.  The house that puts the family’s name before its own selfish whims –“

“Will be the house that history remembers,” she finished for him.  She glared up at him.  “I just don’t like reading.  I’m not good at it, and I can’t do it.  No matter how hard I try, I don’t understand the letters.”

“You are not working hard enough,” he said.

“I spent two hours looking at the same page, and when the septa asked me to read aloud, I couldn’t do it,” she argued.  The girl definitely had spunk.  A Lannister needed that to get along in the world, but she needed to learn there were better times than others for it.  “All I do is stare at the page.  I know the letters.  I see the septa write them, and I can go through the alphabet.  The septa says my penmanship is wonderful, but when I have to read a word, the letters move around on the page and I can’t make any sense of them!”  

Tywin nodded, and she was quiet.  He had dealt with this before.

“Your brother Jaime was the same way,” he said.  “The maesters told me that he also mixed up the letters on the page.  Yes…I wondered if this would happen again.”

“And how did Jaime learn to read?” Y/N asked.  

A determined look flashed across Tywin’s face.

“I sat him down with the maester four hours each day,” he said.  “Which is exactly what I’ll do with you.”

“Father!” Y/N cried.

“Silence!” He cut her off. “Remember your courtesies, young lady. You will thank me for this.  A Lannister needs to know how to read! Jaime was angry with me too, but now he can read!”

“But four hours!” The girl looked close to tears, and for a rare moment, Tywin did feel something tear at his heart, but he was determined.

“A lady doesn’t say ‘but’,” he said.  It was something that Joanna used to say to Cersei when she argued with her.  “Go back to your lesson now.  I shall speak with your septa about the changes in your scholarly pursuits.”

Y/N’s pink lips quivered for a moment, and then she curtsied before her father and ran off.  Tywin watched her go, slightly amused, but slightly angry at her behavior.  Cersei had been much more rebellious, so he at least should have been grateful that he didn’t have to deal with that.  He didn’t particularly like upsetting his daughter, though.  She was the last thing of Joanna he had, and he was determined to give her the best life he could.

Being a father as well as a lord could be difficult at times.


At the end of your lesson, you were fuming at the septa.  Your head pounded and your eyes were sore from constantly staring at the page. You offered a short and stiff curtsy and then left as soon as the lesson ended.  You never wanted to see your septa ever again.  In fact, you would run away from the Rock and make your father miss you so much that he would find you.  That would really show him.

You loved your father like none other, but he could be stiff at times.  He was the proud lord lion of Casterly Rock, you reminded yourself.  He was held to different standards than the small folk.  Jaime supposedly had the same problem with words that you had, but Jaime got to run around and play with a sword, and then he got to be a knight.  Why did it matter if you could or couldn’t read?  Your father would wed you to a handsome lord when you were older, and you’d raise the babies while your lord husband signed important papers.

In your room, you tried to forget all about your lesson by combing through one of your dolls’ hair. The door opened and your father entered; the brush you used on the doll stopped halfway through its silk hair.

“What are you doing here?” You asked.

“The septa told me that you needed to study outside of your lessons,” he said firmly.  “Where are your books?”

“I just got out of my lesson!  I need a break!” You cried.

“Your mind is sharpest right after a lesson,” he said.  “Do you want to learn to read or not?”

“I don’t want to learn!” You snapped.

You had crossed a line, and you knew it.  Your father’s eyes narrowed dangerously.  

“You will read those books, Y/N, and I won’t ask you again,” he said in a low voice.

You shrunk back, fighting back the tears that threatened to escape your eyes.  You hated disappointing your father; he was your hero, but he just didn’t understand how hard it was for you to read!  You watched as he left the room.  You didn’t move for a moment, and when he was gone, you threw your doll against the wall.

You picked up the book and tried to read it, determined to show your father, but the more you looked at it, the worse your headache got and you found you just couldn’t do it.

You woke up with your face on the book.  You panicked slightly, aware that that was not proper for a lady.  By the sky outside your window, you knew it wasn’t time for supper yet.  You sighed with relief.  Then you picked up the book.  You didn’t want to visit the septa, but maybe if you just studied for many hours at once, she could get it all done and over with.  Hugging the book, you stomped past your broken doll and out the room.

Every step taken was tortuous.  You really, really did not want to see the septa.  What did that old lady know anyways?  Why couldn’t your father give you a fun teacher?  Maesters were always more fun than septas.

“Sister,” a deep voice suddenly rang in your ears.  “Does father know that you are wandering the Rock by yourself?”

Your heart stopped.  You turned and saw your older brother, Tyrion, standing there.  Even though he grinned at you, you felt a shiver pass up your spine.  She had always been more than a little frightened of him.

Tyrion wasn’t like Jaime or Cersei.  He was only slightly taller than you, but whereas you were six, he was a man.  His hair was as blonde as yours and his eyes as green, but his forehead was too big, and his arms and legs were too short. He wasn’t handsome in the least, and Cersei had told you that Tyrion had killed your mother.  Jaime had insisted it wasn’t true, but Cersei said that Tyrion had forced mother to care for him when he had a contagious illness, and she had died for it.  You hadn’t even been a year old, and because of that you didn’t have a mother.

“He’s a monster, Y/N, and monsters don’t show remorse,” Cersei had said to you.

You stared at your brother, fingers clutching the book.  You wanted to run, but you knew you needed to be brave.  He wasn’t really a monster.  He was frightening, but he was still your big brother.  Jaime got along with Tyrion after all.

“I’m going to the septa,” you said shortly.  “I’m learning to read.”

“Are you mixing up the letters on the page?” Tyrion asked in a dry tone.

“Um…” How did he know that was your problem?  “Yes…”

“Just like Jaime, or so I hear,” he said.  “Don’t go to the septa.  She’ll bore you to tears with her lessons.  It looks like she already has.”

“I have to learn to read so father will be happy,” you snapped, embarrassed.  

“Yes, we must keep father happy,” Tyrion said.

“I need to go,” you said.

When you turned away, Tyrion suddenly touched your arm.  You froze, remembering what Cersei had told you.  Tyrion looked kind of funny, but could he really be a monster?  What if you died because he touched you?  Maybe that’s why your mother had died!

“B-brother,” you stammered, voice squeaking.

“I’ll teach you to read,” he said.  “I’ve read a lot, and I’ve even stumbled on some of the histories of Casterly Rock that recorded other children with the same problems you were having.”

“Father wants me to study with the septa,” you replied weakly.

“Father wants you to learn how to read,” he said.  “Do you want to please father?”

You nodded meekly, and he smiled.

“Then follow me,” he said.

Your heart sank, and you imagined for a moment a maiden following a dragon into its lair.  Tyrion was no dragon; he was too small, but you couldn’t help but be scared regardless.  You frowned. Lannisters didn’t get scared.  You would learn how to read no matter what.

On the way to Tyrion’s chambers, he actually talked to you.

“Father rarely lets you see me,” he said.  “I remember when you were born.  I’ve never seen father smile like that before.  I suppose after me, you were everything he could have asked for.  You were a beautiful babe, and it looks to me like you’ve grown to be a beautiful girl.  You have mother’s features.”

How could he talk so easily of mother?  Didn’t he feel guilty?

“Thank you,” you whispered. “Father keeps me in lessons most the time.”

“And apart from the reading, how are those going?  Do you understand the laws of the land and the science?  I hated learning about the agriculture personally,” he said.

Before you could think, you said:  “I do too. I hate that part.”  You suddenly shut your mouth.  Had you just agreed with your brother?

“Ah, here we go,” Tyrion said.  “My room. We shouldn’t be in here too long, but I’ll teach you more than the septas will.”

“With magic?” You asked.

Tyrion snorted.

“What do you think I am? An imp with magical powers!  Is that what Cersei told you?” he asked. Cersei had never said that, but you couldn’t help but imagine it.  “No, if I knew magic, I’d make myself as tall as Jaime.  No, we’re going to learn the old fashioned way.”

“I won’t learn to read by supper?” You asked faintly.

“I’m afraid not,” he said. “You’ll have to come back each day, but I promise you I will make it much more painless than the septa’s ramblings.  You’ll be reading in no time.”

And then he pulled out a seat for you at his desk and took the book from you.  He laid it on the table, and a devilish smirk appeared on his face.

“Let’s begin,” he said, and you sat down, feeling your hands and feet shake.


You had been visiting Tyrion in secret for a week.  You were never told to stay away from your brother, but father also made a point of keeping you as far away from him as possible.  With Tyrion as your teacher, you were able to see improvements you never thought possible.  Even the septa praised you when you actually read two sentences aloud and only had to pause a few times.  Tyrion didn’t use magic, but he may as well have.

What really confused you though was that you were actually starting to like your brother.  What would Cersei say?  Perhaps Jaime would be happy for you.  Tyrion was kind to you and very patient when you made mistakes.  He was constantly egging you on, but in a way that showed he really cared.

“You know this word,” he said as you hovered over the same word for over a minute.  “You can do it…”

“D…R…G… No, that’s not right.”  The letters were moving again.  “D…R…A….Dragon!”

Tyrion applauded you, and you blushed.  You then read the sentence aloud:

“Aegon I Targaryen rode on the dragon Balerion in the War of Conquest!” Your voice went up a notch at the end, and again Tyrion applauded you.

“Wonderful!” He said. “Wonderful!  Can you read the next sentence?”

“Aegon’s sister-wife…V…Vis…Visenya mounted Vhagar as her steed.”  You glanced up at Tyrion, praying you’d gotten the sentence right, and by his smile, you knew you had.  “I did it!  I’m learning to read, Tyrion!  You’re the best!”

You kept improving, and you actually sought out books to try and read.  Most of them you couldn’t, but you could understand a lot more than you could before.  Four days later, you were in yet another lesson with Tyrion.  He no longer frightened you, and Cersei’s words seem to fade.

You had finally reached the part in your heavy book that spoke of House Lannister.

“Lord Tytos Lannister was the eldest of four.  He was named heir in 236 AC of Casterly Rock…” your eyes skimmed the page.  Then you gasped.  “Jason Lannister!”

“Hmm?” Tyrion asked.

“Jason Lannister was Tytos’s younger brother.  Tytos was our grandfather!  Jason was our other grandfather!  He was mother’s father!” You cried.  “Mother and father were cousins?”

“I thought you knew that,” Tyrion said.  “Besides, cousins are one thing, but the Targaryens married their brothers and sisters for centuries.”

“It’s like how Cersei wants to marry Jaime,” you said.

“Y-Y/N …” Tyrion winced. “I don’t know how you know that, but you mustn’t say a word to father.”

You stared at the page and your finger found Lady Joanna’s name.

“What was mother like?” You whispered.

Tyrion froze and didn’t answer immediately.  Then he swallowed, and he smiled in a way that made him as handsome as Jaime.  

“She was beautiful,” Tyrion said.  “She was my best friend, my champion.  She was always encouraging me to be better, and when I cried, she held me.”  He looked out the window, and you watched him intently.  “When I learned that dragons had gone extinct, I was a mess.  I cried myself to sleep…but when I woke up, mother was holding me in her arms and telling me everything would be alright.  She had a beautiful voice too…”

“Cersei said mother died while taking care of you,” you whispered.

Tyrion looked down at his hands.

“That’s true,” he breathed. “I was probably old enough to not need my mommy, but I begged the maesters to let me see her, and she came right away and cared for me.  She stayed by my side all night…and then…it was all so sudden…she was gone.”

Tyrion was a man, but his lip trembled like a child’s.  He didn’t blink, like he was determined not to let the tears come.  He was always so carefree, sarcastic, and witty.  You had never seen this side of him before.

You reached under the table and held his stubby hand.

“Thank you for telling me about mother,” you whispered.  


You found yourself outside your father’s study.  He would be finished with his paperwork in any moment.  You waited there, going over again and again Tyrion’s cheers in your mind. The door opened, and Tywin stared down at you.  You drew yourself up as tall as could be, but he still towered over you.

“Do you need something, Y/N?” he asked.

You nodded, but didn’t answer.  Without a word, you strode right inside his study.  You heard you father sigh behind you and follow.

“What is the meaning of this?” he asked you.  “Have you finished your studies today?”  You reached up and took the first bit of parchment off the stack.  “Careful, Y/N, those are important documents.  They can’t be lost –“

“Lord Randyll Tarly…Lord of House Tarly…To whom it may concern…We are in the process of building a bridge to help ensure our grains come quicker to the capital.”  You looked up from the sentence and hid your smile. Then you continued, and you read the entire letter out loud to your father.

When you finished, Tywin actually laughed, and you felt your cheeks go red.  You loved it when you pleased her father.  You had seen his smile more times than you could count, but you rarely heard a laugh.

“You see, Y/N?  You are a Lannister!  You always had it in you!” He said.  “You’ve got quite the attitude, but I’m proud of you.  Keep up the good work.”  He touched your face but didn’t embrace you.  He was still a lord after all.  “Come now, supper is waiting for us.”

You beamed at him, and they headed to the dining hall together.

After supper, you returned to Tyrion.  You still had much farther to go, and the letters still got jumbled, but you were determined to work hard.  You recounted the story to Tyrion, and he laughed first and then congratulated you.  Then he hugged you.

Once again you found yourself pouring over the book.  You finished reading the paragraph aloud and looked up at Tyrion.  He was absent-mindedly playing with an ink bottle.

“Um…I have a question,” you said.

“Ask away,” Tyrion urged you.

“Well, it’s just about something that Cersei said.  She said that you spent most your time in brothels and that you had…what were the words she used?  …An appetite for whores,” you began.  “Tyrion, what’s a brothel?  And what’s a whore?”

The ink bottle suddenly slipped from his fat fingers and shattered all over the floor.