like a few months at least

4
Sugar bowl facts

After couple of years sugaring this is what I’ve observed regarding SD/SB sites

-what I’ve recently read and which is 100% accurate, anyone worth of knowing won’t be in such sites. Full. Stop.

-most of men that have profiles are in best case upper middle class guys. You won’t find a multimillionaire sitting behind his computer chasing girls online. Would you? I wouldn’t. Reality is all of true rich men have access to upscale bars, clubs, restaurants, country clubs, lounges where they can meet dozens of beautiful women, DAILY. In worst case he will book a girl trough established agency (his assistant will) if he is more of an introvert or has no time for socializing.

-top income on these site is NOT above 200k after taxes. And majority of those men are MARRIED, which means his wife has access to his cards/accounts and has knowledge of his financial behavior, do you think she won’t be suspicious if all of a sudden large amounts start missing from his account? Of course she will. Other are divorced with couple of kids, which means ALIMONY. So don’t expect mind blowing amounts spent on you.

-if he offers out of the blue 10k + apartment + car, most likely it is a SCAM. In order a man to be eligible for such spending on someone else his income should be at least 700-800k after taxes. In average, a man won’t spend more than 20% of his income on you. How do y'all think a man who earns 200k-300k will just drop half of his money on you? He also has daily/monthly/yearly expenses of his own. He’ll just go broke because of you? NO. Be realistic.

-there probably is one who is able to spend such amounts on you as mentioned above but finding him on these sites would be a pure luck. Like jackpot once in a blue moon.

-if he doesn’t discuss your allowance and what exactly he can offer in first few messages, he is probably not a legitimate SD, or just a Splenda most likely salt. A real SD knows the game. Don’t fall for that “make me a proposal/offer”. That’s BS.

-if he only offers to communicate via Skype he is almost sure a SCAM. Never settle for this type of communication, either he can video call via Viber or FaceTime. Say you don’t use Skype. Not negotiable.

-if he isn’t ready to provide his photos in first few exchanged texts, DROP him. There is no valid excuse for this. Unless he is on Forbes 100. Or running a Fortune 500 company. Which isn’t close to impossible. Always choose video call over exchanging photos. (What i recently witnessed was a man who sent me photos of a dead US businessman, he probably thought if we are from Europe I won’t know this) -luckily there is google image search

-ALWAYS and I repeat always try with google reverse image search. Also look up his number.

-if he refuses to tell you his full name there is a good reason behind it, a BAD one. Leave him.

-Under NO circumstances negotiate the sexual part of an arrangement, he exactly knows what he will be getting. You get the “dos and donts ” question, block him, real SD never asks such questions over the phone.

-make sure you discuss about his stated budget. Ask if those are his spending habits or he would be actually willing to spend that on you. Does that include only your allowance or it includes all of the monthly expenses he would have regarding you (e.g. Trips, dinners, gifts, shopping sprees etc)

-don’t be shy to ask anything you want to know prior to your meet, if you have any doubts or unclear stuff, ASK.

-if you are traveling/flying out to meet him make sure all of your transportation/flight tickets/hotel room is paid in full, IN ADVANCE, with email confirmation of the receipts which are NON REFUNDABLE. He can always cancel your hotel booking for example.

-if he asks you to fly out but to buy your own tickets and he’ll reimburse you when you meet, NEVER do this!!! Real SD would never ever propose such situation, or he will send you money prior to your meet so you can purchase it, if he doesn’t want it to be shown on his credit card.

-always bring your own money to a pot date, no matter if it’s just a coffee date or dinner or flying over to other city/country. Remember, he can walk out on you any time and leave you out to dry. Imagine if you don’t like him really and need to for example take another room, take your ticket earlier, take a taxi home etc, possibilities are endless. Make sure you are SAFE regarding funds.

-NEVER send more than 4 photos (2 showing your face and upper body and two showing your body from different angles/poses) any of these men asking for more are pic collectors. Whenever you can choose a video call over exchanging photos.

-if you meet him and he looks different than his photos LEAVE immediately. EVACUATE. Code RED. You think he is providing something substantial if he can’t even provide a proper photo of himself? NO.

-Never ever agree to unprotected sex. No excuses are valid enough. Even though you are in a long term arrangement he probably is seeing other women too. Unless he’ll provide you a STD check (HIV, HPV, HEP a, b, c too) not older than 48h prior to your rendezvous, from a clinic you personally chose. Medical checks, reports can be forged.

-make sure that you first get your end before giving him his part of the bargain. FIRST THE MONEY THEN THE HONEY. No peep shows, no trial periods, no compatibility checks. You see a meal you never tried in a restaurant, decided to order from the menu, you didn’t really like it, yet you still have to pay for it? YES.

-Do not fall for the first man that texts you, sugaring REQUIRES patience and practice.

-Do not settle for exclusivity unless all of your monthly expenses are fully covered plus there is spending money left, and enough for at least a month if he drops you out of the blue. Don’t think you will ever be his one and only.

-When he says NO DRAMA in his profile text that means no drama from you, not from him. No PROs or ESCORTs means he can’t afford one or he can’t afford to be screened, because he has something to hide - something BAD.

-if he is not able to meet in few days after your initial conversation he is most likely a TIME WASTER, or if he books you a ticket and not confirm two three days before the actual meet do not go, unless you want a free trip and have an interest of your own visiting that place.

-if he offers less than a 5* hotel accommodation, drop that cheap ass, he probably is just a SALT.

-when he states most important things for him are connection and affection he has no intention of compensating for your time.

-there is no UPPER age limits for being a sugar baby, you think he wouldn’t date J-Lo ? Yes he would but he can’t afford it! When guy says he prefers very young girls it’s because he knows they are easier to trick and have lack of experience.

-REMEMBER: if something is too good to be true it’s because it usually is. Don’t fall for words, SEEING is BELIEVING.

-if he somehow gets uncomfortable when getting a bill in the restaurant or makes comments on prices or starts making a face, never see him again, no real SD will make a comment over couple of bucks. If possible, check how much he tipped the waiter.

-if he says along the way he isn’t into luxury and prefers something more humble/down to earth, leave that mofo, YOU ARE a LUXURY.

-if he is too demanding compared to what he is providing, he is actually using you, do not fall for that (ask for way to many photos/text exchange etc)

Always keep this small reminder in your head.

Happy sugaring!!!

thesparklingpariah  asked:

Dorian crawled into the stress box and pulled out a small bundle of rags. He opened it and handed it to Eremes. Inside were two small snails and a large one. "Here. For you. And you better like them, because I'm NEVER getting the slime out of my clothes." But despite his harsh words, he smiled and wrapped an arm around Eremes, trying to comfort his stressed little friend.

he tries

anonymous asked:

Is it true that there's a new military policy meaning the Korean members can be enlisted at any time now?

Yes:

“Celebrities will no longer be able to delay enlistment in the military. They’ll serve whenever called. That means any random time after age 18. Right now celebrities usually delay enlistment till age 30. Korean Military Manpower Administration now asking companies for information on all male artists born between Jan 1, 1980 and Dec 31, 1999. The change is in response to public demands for equality with regard to army enlistment and service. Some online reactions mention that there are sons of politicians/businessmen who delay enlistment too and that should change as well.”

I’m curious how Korean companies are going to handle this because letting Korean members of their groups enlist early puts them in a tough situation. Groups last 5-7 years (at least until their contracts end) so companies are trying to promote them during first few years as much as it’s possible. 

Recently NCT Ten who’s Thai went to Thailand to register because just like Bambam mentioned at one of the recent fansign events they might have to enlist. If you volunteer you serve for 6 months. If you don’t, you take part in lottery. If you get picked you have to serve for 2 years.

Enough is Enough

Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,067

Warnings: slight panic attack, language, asshole Dean 

Request: Can I request an imagine where the reader lives with the brothers at the bunker & Dean is always a jerk to her & then one day she has a panic attack & then fluff ensues…

Summary: Reader has lived & hunted with the boys for 3 years & usually puts up with Dean being a dick pretty well. One night, she can’t take anymore and has a panic attack.

A/N: Enjoy!! Feedback greatly appreciated!! And thank you to @mamapeterson for just reading over this before I posted it lol wasn’t too confident on it tbh but I hope y’all like it!!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

dark rc would you please consider writing about how victor (and the rest of the Russian skate team) had a feud with the Russian hockey team bc of their constant flirting and attentions towards yuuri (who was completely oblivious at the war waging for his heart)??

This has been sitting in my inbox for over a month and I apologize for that, nonny! I wanted to try my hand at breaking through this writer’s block and this prompt was ripe for the taking. It’s not my best work by any stretch, but it’s something at least! I hope you enjoy.

+

There are few things that give Yuri pleasure—the taste of accomplishment like cinnamon sugar on the back of his tongue after landing a quad; having a comeback so cutting that he practically draws blood; that soft murrf a cat makes when it decides it trusts him; the little green screenshot arrow appearing next to Otabek’s name in Snapchat—but they all pale in comparison to whenever the Russian hockey team visits the rink.

Keep reading

Dirty Dancing

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Hoseok (J-Hope)

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 5,242

Summary:  It’s the summer and all you want to be doing is hanging out with your friends. Your parents have other ideas and when you end up at a resort in the middle of the mountains, the only bright thing in sight is the dance instructor, Hoseok. If only said dance instructor didn’t seem to completely hate you.

Originally posted by jimins-bunss

Keep reading

The Flat
  • Sirius bought it in 7th year.
  • He was walking down a street in muggle London, smoking a cigarette, not really paying attention to where he was going or why. 
  • Then he saw it.
  • And he had to have it.
  • It was small, dusty, old and needed some work done, but damn did Sirius love that flat.
  • I had four bedrooms, a kitchen and dining room area with a living space coming off the end and two and half small bathrooms (when I say half, one was just a toilet and a sink).
  • It had these huge windows along just one wall. They were so big you could stand on the window sill at the bottom and just press your whole body against the glass, staring down onto the street below.
  • The house had a bright red door with small flecks of paint coming off it. 
  • The flat itself was on the second floor of the building, but even from the ground, staring at those huge windows and the For Sale sign, Sirius knew he wanted it bad. 
  • So he bought it two weeks later.
  • He didn’t tell anyone about it at first, he wanted it to be a surprise for when they left school.
  • But Sirius Black is terrible at keeping secrets, especially from his best friends and especially when he was excited.
  • So, one rainy weekend he took them all down to muggle London for a special trip.
  • ‘Sirius what is this all about. it’s cold.’ ‘Be quiet Wormy I need to show you something.’
  • ‘Sirius we have been walking for hours, please, my feet are tired.’ ‘James shut the hell up, we got off the bus thirty seconds ago.’
  • They rounded the corner, walked a few meters until Sirius was standing in front of the house, his arms spread wide and a huge grin on his face, like he was a small child showing his mother his latest drawing.
  • ‘Well, what do you think?’
  • ‘I think it’s raining and you have stopped in the middle of the street for no reason.’
  • ‘Fuck off Moony, I mean the house.’
  • ‘What? This house?’
  • ‘Yes this house you wanker, it’s mine.’
  • Peter, James and Remus all just stare.
  • ‘You bought a house…’
    Sirius dropped his arms.
  •  ‘Well no.. I bought a flat, second floor. I thought we could all live here. When we leave school…Together.’
  • Silence.James, never one for silences, or being able to handle the look of fear and apprehension on Sirius’ face, breaks into a smile.
  • ‘For real Pads?’
  • ‘Yeah.. for real..’
  • James clapped Peter on the back, still grinning. Peter smiles too. Then James runs up and hugs Sirius, very briefly and before the poor boy can respond, James has broken away and is running up to the red door, unlocking and sprinting inside, bounding up the stairs. A few seconds later he is seen in one of the enormous windows, still grinning as he jumps about motioning for the others to join him.
  • Peter laughs before running in after James. Remus remains standing and staring.
  • ‘You want me to move in with you?’
  • Sirius blushes.
  • ‘Probably should have made asking you more romantic Moony.. but I figured having us all here would be cute as well. But yeah, I want you to move in with me. And James. And Peter. I basically want you to move into Gryffindor Dormitory 2.0, only this time we get to share a bed.’
  • Remus is silent.
  • Sirius is worried.
  • ‘You don’t have to Rem. Maybe this is too fast. You can say no…’
  • ‘I love you, Sirius’
  • ‘I love you too, Moony.’
  • ‘But I get the left side of the bed.’
  • Sirius lets out a bark like laugh.
  • ‘Fine, but I’m choosing the sheets, your taste sucks ass.’
  • Moving into the London flat was all they could talk about for the next few months.
  • Sirius had never asked them to pay any rent, he had more than enough money after his Uncle had passed away and figured it was the least he could do.
  • But James had downright refused to let his friend pay for him, insisting he would split the rent 50/50 every month, no matter what protests Sirius put up.
  • Remus wanted to pay too, but Sirius didn’t even bother listening to that. Remus didn’t have the money to do it, not that Sirius cared, and he would always say, ‘Remus, we are going to be sharing a bed, theirs not really anything for you to pay for. Plus, you can get me a really cool birthday present to make up for it.’ Remus got him a motorbike that year.
  • A few weeks before the end of school, just when the boys had finished there exams, and reality had started to sink in, Sirius heard that Marlene’s parents hadn’t taken the whole ‘her dating Dorcas’ thing so well, and were no longer speaking to her. So the next day he went up to her, pulled her aside and told her that there was a bedroom waiting in a small flat in London that he was sure her and Dorcas would enjoy.
  • He’d never seen Marlene cry before that day.
  • A week later James walked into the dormitory, sweaty and gross from Quidditch practice, panting as he explained that he was in love with Lily Evans.
  • ‘Yeah no shit Potter, I heard you two last night.’
  • Sirius got a pillow thrown at his head. 
  • Then James explained that he was going to ask Lily to move in with him after they left school. That he wanted her in his life and in the flat. If Sirius was okay with that.
  • Sirius started laughing. James was confused.
  • ‘Prongs, you are the most oblivious boy I have ever met. Lily and I have been waiting for you to ask her to move in for the past two months.’
  • Sirius got another pillow thrown at his head. Then James ran off to go find Lily.
Chicken Nugget

pairing: Lin x reader

warnings: none!! cursing i think? this is fluffffffy

summary: The story of you and Lin, told through Twitter. 

requests: “hey, I just wanted to say that your writing is so cute! ^.^ anyway, I wanted to request a Lin x Reader where maybe reader and Lin get into a Twitter battle and it’s just really cute and stuff! thanks! <3″

@not-mystery-anymore-anon: happy late birthday! This took me so long wow I have like 4 more unfinished fics so I’m gonna go work on that. I don’t know how to feel about this, enjoy! 

words: 1524


January 26 / 11:56

@Lin_Manuel:

Good morning!
Sometimes people will steal the last chicken nugget from you.
They will slip past you in a line.
But life goes on.

@Lin_Manuel:

Story time. I was at the supermarket at midnight. I was gonna buy some chicken nuggets for a writing snack. And just when I come round the aisle, SOMEONE TOOK THE LAST PACK. (1/?)

@Lin_Manuel:

SHE JUST GRABBED IT. And I shouted “Hey those are mine!” and she just ignores me and walks off. What the f*ck? (2/?)

@Lin_Manuel:

I mean it’s one thing if you’re gonna take the last nuggets but you’re also gonna ignore me? And when I was about to step into one of the cashiers, lo and behold, she appears again! (3/?)

@Lin_Manuel:

She slips right in front of me and pays for her damn chicken nuggets. One day, I will find you. And suffocate you in chicken nuggets. Just you wait. (4/?)

@Y/N:

Tfw you buy chicken nuggets and some guy rants about it on Twitter even though they’re rightfully yours

January 30 / 08:05

@Y/N:

Thank you to everyone who made this album possible. Here’s to all the blood shed and tears spilled.

@Lin_Manuel:

Okay I’m supposed to be writing but HOLY MOLY. @Y/N’s most recent album is F*CKING FIRE. This is going to be the only thing that I listen to today.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Thank you! Did you like track 2?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Absolutely loved it. Elegantly done. How do you get the inspiration for this kind of genius, master?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Glad you asked! Few months ago, I was buying chicken nuggets and this guy got mad because I took the last one. Also, I beat him to the cashier, and later that day he poured out his feelings on Twitter.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Oh.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Oh indeed, Lin. Or should I call you ‘the guy who rhymed son with sun’?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Um okay but at least that rhymed. Chicken nugget and unwritten sonnet don’t rhyme. I take back what I said about track 2.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Are you saying you can come up with a better rhyme for chicken nugget?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Taking the last chicken nugget, staking it fast and kickin’ it like a bucket

@Y/N:
@Lin_Manuel Brilliant. Amazing. Superb. Impressive. Remarkable. Exceptional. Marvelous. Excellent.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Thanks for showing us that you can use a dictionary! See ya next time when you learn more words!

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel *thesaurus

February 29 / 15:07

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Karen told me that she spotted you at Hamilton. Why didn’t you tell me that you were suddenly a huge fan?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel I watched it as a writer. For writing inspiration. And I’m very impressed with the musical. Not you.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Oh so I have yet to impress you? I mean I impressed people enough to get me a couple of awards.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Do something worth my being impressed at, and we’ll see about that.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Oh it’s SO on like Donkey Kong.

March 4 / 23:50

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Congrats on the Billboard #1! Hope it can last 2 weeks like Hamilton did

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel How do you manage to be an asshole and a friend in one tweet

March 6 / 02:05

@Y/N:

Sometimes I like to imagine that Eliza Schuyler from Hamilton is based off me. We’re both pure, smart and lovable.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Nice try. You were the greatest inspiration for Jefferson, though. Where else would I find someone as annoying and cocky?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel The mirror maybe?

April 17 / 22:05

@Y/N:

Congrats on the Oscar. And the PEGOT. You still haven’t (pe)GOT my heart, though. @Lin_Manuel

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Wow yes because very other award fades in comparison to winning your heart.

April 30 / 12:05

@Lin_Manuel:

Bit of a day. Met Mark Hamill. Bought a lightsaber. Harrison Ford thought @Y/N and I were dating.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel 1. Absolutely never 2. DETAILS PLEASE!! Harrison Ford was my childhood crush

@Lin_Manuel:

I told him you were stubborn like Leia. He said that I was Han. I said “Sure we’re Han and Leia without the whole falling in love thing.” @Y/N

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Nicely phrased.

May 14 / 15:30

@Y/N:

I’ve never tried sashimi. It looks weird as hell

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Shame on you.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Are you suggesting something?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N If the girl wasn’t you I would’ve offered to take her to try them.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Yeah like I’d go anywhere with you anyway. Hypothetically if you were taking this girl with you, where would you go?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N I’d tell her that she has to go with me to find out.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel And if she can’t stand you but really wants the sashimi?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N I’d make sure that by the end of the date she’ll be in love with me.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel You talk big. Care to prove it?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N DM me your number and you’ll find out.

May 15 / 10:05

@Lin_Manuel:

I have converted @Y/N into a sashimi-er.

@ham4ham4ham:

@Lin_Manuel more importantly, is she in love with you now?

@Y/N:

@ham4ham4ham Am I?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N @ham4ham4ham Great things take time.

July 31 / 13:35

@wowhamilton:

Why do @Lin_Manuel and @Y/N never talk again??

@Lin_Manuel:

@wowhamilton I feel like a 13-year-old saying this but I have her number now. I got her number guys!

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel I feel like a 13-year-old saying this but I really like texting you.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N *screenshots and sends to friends*

August 17 / 21:56

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Do you maybe kinda wanna be my date to the Tonys? *runs away to hide*

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel From sashimi to Tonys? You’re a real overachiever aren’t you

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Is that a yes?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Yes x100

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N OH SNAP WHO’S THAT DON’T TOUCH ME I’M TOO HOT YES QUÉ PASÓ HERE I GO SO DOPE Y TU LO SABES NO PARE SIGUE SIGUE DID YOU SEE ME

August 25 / 14:26

@Karenolivo:

Today I was a wonderful thirdwheeler, as you can see in this photo

@Lin_Manuel:

@Karenolivo76 The loveliest girl in the place. Hint: not you Karen

@Y/N:
We know, Lin. It’s you. @Lin_Manuel

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Goddamit I really need to go back in time and talk to Hamilton so he can help me up my game. I wrote the lyric ‘if it takes fighting a war to meet it will have been worth it’ y’know. I’m good at this flirting thing I swear

September 18 / 13:25

@Y/N:

Wait for a guy who makes you feel like you’re in high school with your heart doing jumping jacks. It’s worth it, I promise.

@Lin_Manuel:

Wait for a girl who makes your heart spin and makes you unaccountably nervous. She’ll come.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel She’ll come hehehehehe

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Well if you look at it that way it ain’t wrong either

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel BLOCKED AND REPORTED GOODBYE

September 29 / 09:05

@Lin_Manuel:

Bookstore dates are the best. @Y/N is the best.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel You’re such a nerd. One that I happen to be in love with, though.

October 10 / 17:31

@Lin_Manuel:

Sometimes she looks at me and I’m Eliza, wide-eyed and adoring. She’s got me helpless.

@Y/N:

Sometimes he looks at me and I’m Philip. Dead. He got me deceased.

October 19 / 13:48

@Lin_Manuel:

Goodbyes are the worsttt. @Y/N I love you don’t get an affair see you in a few months

@Y/N:

Wish I could be there with you. Kinda hard to get an affair when I can’t stop thinking about you. @Lin_Manuel

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Just now on the plane I bought some Oreos. I just realised that you weren’t there to eat the white cream so I decided not to eat the Oreos. Life really does suck without you.

November 1 / 23:59

@Y/N:

Wrote a sad song today. It’s about a girl who misses someone but knows that he’s gone doing something great. Sounds familiar

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Heard your song on the radio today. Started crying in the cab. Driver looked at me weird. I miss you.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Fell asleep listening to your interviews yesterday. Just wanted to hear you talk as though you were next to me.

November 4 / 00:01

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Happy birthday to the very best. Thank you for learning salsa just so my dad would like you and for making me the best homemade ice cream. You transcend Eliza. You’re you, and I love you.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Thanks, loser! Come back home. I miss you.

November 5 / 02:05

@Y/N:

Guess who just came home for my birthday!!!!! @Lin_Manuel

@Lin_Manuel:

Good night.
Sometimes you gotta lose something to gain something even better.
I lost a pack of chicken nuggets but gained the love of my life.

Baseball Lessons/ Jeff Atkins imagine

Baseball Lessons

Jeff Atkins x reader

Request: Can you do an imagine of Jeff and make it all fluffy? Can you put my name in it, it’s Paige btw💓 love you imagines

A/N: I’m overwhelmed by the reactions I’ve gotten from my first imagine. Thanks so much! My request box is still open J I tried to combine this one with the fencing request because I know more about baseball than fencing.

Word count: 638


“Jeff! I don’t know how to do this!” you screamed at him from the other end of the field while you bounced up and down, holding the baseball bat.

“Of course you can!” Jeff screamed back, “Just…- wait. I’ll help you.”

Jeff was teaching you some baseball or at least trying to. He created a game that just the two of you could play.

He jogged towards where you stood and stood behind you. He grabbed your waist with both hands so you stood in a squad-like position. He encircled his arms around yours and held the baseball bat with you. Even though you had been dating for a few months now, it made you flustered.

“Okay… look at the ball, turn your body a little bit like this…” he whispered in your ear and he moved your body like an artist would move his sculpture. “Just like that.”

He let go of your body and you moved your arm to wipe the sweat off your forehead. Even though you hadn’t even played the actual sport yet, Jeff made you hot.

He jogged back to his original place and put on his glove again. “Okay go for it, babe!” he screamed and got into position to catch the ball.

You breathed out heavily and hit the ball with your bat. It wasn’t an impressive shot but you at least managed to hit the ball.

“Okay good!” Jeff rolled the ball back to you and you picked it up and put it back on the tee.

“Now try to run to a base after you’ve hit the ball, Y/N,” he said and got into position again.

You nodded at him and this time when you hit the ball, it flew pretty high. You dropped the bat like your life depended on it and ran to the first base.

When you got there, you looked around to see where Jeff was but he was still chasing the ball. This was your cue to run further.

“Babe! I’m winning!” you screamed at him while running.

Jeff turned around and instead of chasing the ball anymore, he started to chase you. “Oh hell no Y/N!”

You screamed in joy and when you were almost at the third base, Jeff caught up with you and grabbed your waist. You both fell down on the base with him on top of you.

“Well, well, well.” Jeff grinned at you and stroked your hair. “Looks like I’ve got a girlfriend who’s good at baseball,” he smiled as he kissed you softly.

One of your hands stroked his hair while the other stroked his jaw. “I love you, Jeff Atkins,” you whispered after you broke your kiss. This was the first time you told him that.

Jeff’s eyes widened, but then a broad smile spread across his face. He kissed you passionately and then kissed your forehead. “I love you too, Y/N Y/L/N.”

After that, you decided you played enough baseball and Jeff helped you up. You started slapping all of the sand off your body and when you turned around Jeff smacked your bum.

“Jeff!” you yelped.

“Sorry, there was a bit of sand there,” he smirked and you laughed at him and shook your head.


“So, how was your date with Y/N?” Clay asked Jeff at the cafeteria.

“Oh it was very nice, we went to third base actually.” Jeff grinned.

Clay just stared at him with his mouth open. “Jeff, I don’t need to know that,” he said while blushing.

“You know I’m talking about baseball right.”

Clay sighed and started laughing, “Yeah, I knew.”

Jeff just grinned and looked at you at the other end of the cafeteria, sitting with your friend Paige.

You looked at him and winked, making a mental note that you should play baseball with Jeff more often.

Accuse me of not working my full 40, we'll see about that.

(long story: tl;dr at the end)

My job received some dramatic changes with the labor law changes from late last year. While it’s not technically law right now, my company is enforcing our policy to test the waters and see how it works for us. Basically this means, I can only work 40 hours a week. No overtime approval is available. Any days we work over 8 hours we have to use compensated time (comp time) to even it out. To help maintain office coverage we have meetings to plan our comp time.

To clarify, we can only use our comp time only on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays since we need a full staff on Monday and Fridays to assist our sales team. Also we can’t use it to come in late or leave early. So basically we’re left with taking long lunches (2.5-3 hours sometimes) right in the middle of the work day. But randomly, they’ll give us full days off when we work 6:30-7 hours on a weekend (which is nice, but this also is creating productivity problems). The staff who are a part of this have grown very frustrated because these long lunches are interfering with our work, meetings, appointments, and for the commuting staff they have to sit in their office for a long period of time and do nothing. Finally after a few months of this ineffective system, we told our CEO that we need to discuss some changes we think would make this better for everyone. He meets with our Exec Team and they agreed to attend our comp meeting to discuss things.

So, this Monday we all walk into the meeting with some level of hope. At the very least we’ll be heard and be able to say that we’d like to be able to come in a little late or leave a little early when things are slower. Our CEO explains his view on comp time and then a co-worker of mine explains how it isn’t working for us and it’s causing problems. Now our CEO is normally a chill guy, but he used an angry and defensive tone I’ve never seen before and went on a 15 minute rant about comp time. His rant included:

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What if Steven went through public schooling along side learning gem stuff?

Imagine:

- Showing off his gem in like kindergarten but not being able to use it
- Human History with Bird Mom
- REFUSING to comb his hair until he’s like..13, and then everyone being confused because his hair is just super curly but if he doesn’t comb it it becomes an afro
- Being super annoyed with English classes because he thought itd be writing stories but it’s just essays
- Every April fools day he does SOMETHING with shapeshifting
- In P.E. classes discovering his gem strength and making sure to be much more careful
- Quartz growth spurts where he gets like a foot taller in just a few months, then stops growing for long periods of time
- Eventually being at least a head taller than everyone he knows BC quartz build
- Hating desks as he gets taller because his legs get all cramped
- Discovering wrestling and joining school teams
- Shapeshifting to look like an adult to skip class with friends–then getting caught and chastised by Pearl and Garnet. But cheered on my amethyst
- Willing to fight anyone who is fatphobic anywhere anytime
- Enjoying history and math and constantly asking questions about them to his teachers, sometimes even annoying them with his enthusiasm
- Joining choirs and performing in musical dramas (shapeshifting makes for some WILD costume changes..)
- Bringing gem tech from Pearl into Show and Tells when he’s young
- One time Steven got really pissed off and a door handle bent to his hand after he used it. Nobody asked him why.
- Inexplicably being friends with EVERYONE
- Having to awkwardly explain his absences due to gem missions
- Coming to school running on coffee and 2 hours of sleep after a gem mission in high school
- MESSING UP bullies
- Being super annoyed in highschool because he’s that one student bending down to get through doorways and everyone always makes “how’s the weather up there” jokes
- People flirting with him and he just doesn’t know how to respond at ALL
- Riding lion to school
- That one time a gem corruption came on campus, and everyone saw Steven kick its butt and bubble it. Nobody asks how.
- Sneaking healing spit onto friends who got hurt
- Pearl crying on his first day of school
- Garnet walking in on mile time day, telling the P.E. Teacher every students mile time, then walking away
- Going all-out on artsy projects and stuff
- “Why do you smell like roses all the time?”
- Going into astronomy/architecture in college because “going into a medical field feels like cheating”
- SENIOR PRANK WITH AMETHYST
- The Gems telling Steven he should get 2nd place in nationals wrestling because getting 1st would be suspicious (imagine the scene from the Incredibles with dash in the race)
- People always get confused and slightly afraid during his quartz growth spurts because he’s always eating or looking to buy food during them. People swear he’s glowing sometimes.
- Food fights with a shield
- Garnet spending a solid 30 minutes talking a teacher into a corner in a debate on whether or not Steven’s hair is too long and needs to be cut. Steven gets to keep growing out his hair.
- This one time Steven only got like an hour of sleep in a week and someone pulled his hair as a joke, he threw them down a hallway (they weren’t hurt but were pretty shaken).
- Visiting Connies speech and debate tournaments and getting stares because everyone’s wearing suits and stuff and he’s there with a tank top and gym shorts
- In P.E. he almost got suspended in high school because he got into a sort of contest of who could lift more with someone he didn’t like and ended up breaking a bench press machine but adding too much weight
- Using his shield to ride down staircases like a slide
- Giving his biology teacher a hamster grape
- Cooking clubs!!
- Being a guide for freshman coming into high school when he’s a senior and immediately regretting the decision once he starts talking to them because none of them will stop making height jokes
- Pearl WEEPING because she’s proud of Steven for getting into Empire City University with a full scholarship from wrestling
- “Can you drive?” “No. I have a magic lion that can travel via portals.”
- The football coach trying to convince Steven to play football, and Steven is vaguely interested, but Pearl REFUSES to let him play
- Really intense truth or dare games. One time he snuck into a club with shapeshifting from one of them.
- Always having a pair of headphones. ALWAYS.
- Forgetting homework and getting it from home during passing periods because Lion can get him to school and back in like a minute
- Somehow managing to be late sometimes just because “oh, I have lion, I’ll be on time” so he sleeps in then realizes school starts in 2 minutes and he hasn’t even put a shirt on
- Figuring out how to fuse somewhat reliably, and fusing with friends at school
- Randomly disappearing from the campus for quick gem missions during lunch
- He’s bumped his head in doorways more times than he can count.
- Stevens 1-4 grade teachers low-key hating Garnet because every time she comes over at least one child gets into her hair and she almost walks out with them because she doesn’t realize
- One time Steven tried to go to a parent teacher conference by himself because “I’m my own mom”

Honestly I love the idea of Steven going through public schooling and college so much.

agenderraskel  asked:

What do you think of JARVIS? Can he get inside your arm? Has he ever done so? Are you ever concerned about him taking over the world?

i like jarvis. hes everything nickel science fiction novels promised back when i was a kid.

 jarvis–and anyone else for that matter–cant get inside my arm because my arm has no ability to transmit or receive data, except for an internal data port under the armor plates which has to be accessed with a unique cable. so if you can get at it and you have the necessary equipment you can mess with my arm, but it’s impossible to hack while im out doing stuff. 

not that tony or i told anyone that for the first few months. i managed to knock steves glass out of his hands four times, throw things at clint six times, and smack sam upside the head twice before they realized that my arm was not being remotely controlled by ‘the evil Dr Dextrous.’ 

im not concerned about jarvis taking over the world because probably hed be a lot better at keeping things running smoothly that current management. jarvis has managed to keep tony stark mostly alive without actually having hands for like. several decades now. which probably qualifies him for sainthood, or at least a really nice retirement package. i figure after all that chaos managing a few billion non-geniuses without access to flying tanks is basically a cakewalk. 

but since jarvis has more sense than–well. basically any avenger–he knows that taking over the world would be way more stress than its worth.
jarvis is smart like that.

I think I took my old company down over a $240 dispute.

I’m honestly not sure if this belongs here, or in @petty-revenge-stories, but I thought you guys might get a bit of a chuckle over this.

Sorry, it’s long.

I was the lead editor for a production house. We did mostly commercials, for radio and television. Small company, but we did pretty well for the most part, but being a small company jobs overlapped, and since I know how to use Google, I also became the “IT” guy.

I worked at this production house for 8 years. Overall, I was pretty content there. I made some awesome friends, but my boss (the owner / production manager) was a real dick. He was the kind of guy who would hire people for as little money as possible, and get them to work 12-16 hour days for the fucking experience.

My boss was the kind of person who would tell you on a daily basis how great a boss he was; how effective a leader he was. Every day wasting his time and money on ridiculous meetings that literally took half a day and consisted of nothing meaningful, but a huge amount of head-inflation. He would routinely deny people any kind of monetary raise, even after years of experience, saying that the company could not afford that. All while he furnished his private office, which was an entire floor above the rest of the office space, with extravagant furniture and expensive decorations.

I could honestly make an entire post on how awful a boss / terrible a person this guy was, so after some quick reflection on how much typing I want to do today, here’s a list of the worst things he was doing on company time:

  • Drinking and driving
  • Would routinely get me to pirate software for him, including software we used to actually run the business
  • Not putting anyone on payroll, which means you are forever a “freelancer” at this company
  • Hired a company who would build an entire second story to the office without a permit
  • Somehow crossing the Canada-US border drunk and with open alcohol
  • Withholding people’s pay
  • Buying things for the office; stealing them for his home
  • No vacation time / pay
  • he expected all of us to either work through a client’s funeral, or take a couple of hours as “no pay leave”)
  • He would degrade all employees, but he was way more harsh on the female employees
  • Would literally scare people into submission
  • Micromanage everything. Blame employees for following directions.

Anyways the list goes on and on. But for the most part, non of this really affected me, until his wife started working for the company.

She was hired on after being fired elsewhere, as our accountant. She would track our hours every day, making sure to conveniently neglect any extra time we put in over weekends, or after hours. Somehow, even after working a 50-60 hour week, she would come after employees saying they were only available for 30 hour or so. Again, these were all things that never really affected me, until Christmas 2015.

I got notice two days before our Christmas paycheck, via email, that the accountant was going to take $240 or so off my regular pay, because I had left the office for two hours during the week. I calmly replied to the email that we all gotta do what we gotta do, and hopped online and started applying to editing jobs elsewhere.

I told my wife about this, and got irrationally mad about it.

Nearly instantly, I was offered a job from my current employer, which I accepted. At that point I told my wife I give my old employer a year before they close down.

We made a list, and dealt with each item to the best of our abilities.

I anonymously reported both my boss and his wife for drunk driving, as well as letting a couple of my cop buddies know about it. On my boss’ Facebook page, he was complaining about how many times he had been pulled over recently. He seems to still be driving, but at least it was an inconvenience to them.

I reported the software piracy. The pirated software was Windows, Microsoft Office, and the Adobe Creative Suite. Adobe didn’t do anything, but Microsoft took it pretty seriously, and I heard from one of my old coworkers that they didn’t fight the fines.

I also filled out form CPT1-E (I think that’s what it was called), which is designed to help employers and employees understand whether or not employees should be on payroll or not. From what I gather through the grapevine, this let to something called a forensic audit, which seems to have led to a lot of back payments or something. I’m not an accountant, and I don’t really know how all this works, but from what I understand my old employer ended up paying quite a few fines. This is all unconfirmed grapevine stuff though.

I reported locally regarding the floor that was built without a permit. More grapevine stuff, but it seems that made selling the office a little more difficult. So I’ll add that to the win pile.

So anyways, I was wrong. I told my wife it would be a year and they would be shut down. It took a year and 3 months. The company is officially closing March 31, 2017. I don’t know if any of my actions are directly responsible for the closure, but I’d like to think I at least pushed it in that direction.

Calling all Witches!

I have yet to decide if I’m gonna go through with this, but let me propose an idea here.

A real school of witchcraft, here on tumblr. Tuition-free, no expenses needed. I understand the lack of an actual building may not be appealing, but this is the best I can do. It would be a four-year education system, similar to a college.

Here is a list I created of courses this school may* include. (*Courses may be added or removed due to level of demand.)

-Spellcasting/Spellcrafting (I,II,III, and IV, for each year.)

-The Origins and History of Witchcraft.

-Studies of Fire/Earth/Air/Water (One element for each year.)

-Studies of Wicca/Paganism (Probably an elective, each lasts a semester.)

-Curses and Wards(I and II)

-Spells and Charms (I and II)

-Spirits and Familiars

-Creating, Charing, and Casting Sigils

-Plants and Potions

However, we’d need some help to make this happen. This is getting long, so I’ll put our needs under the cut:

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I think all of Harry’s fans, whatever they believe his love life to be like, owe him the decency to listen to his album when it comes out, without preconceptions about what he should be saying, is not allowed to say, or how he wants to express it.

He has made a very personal record, and in my opinion he’s being brave in the way he sends it out into the world. I hope we can all shut up for a minute and listen to it. You know, let the music speak for itself for at least one round, before we all come back here and fight about the lyrics. These guys spent months working on melodies, song structure, drum sounds, tunings, should we add more vocals here or a piano there… Don’t get me wrong, I expect some lyrics that will make me feel disillusioned, but I believe I owe him a few spins of that dramatic white vinyl that I ordered.

It’s a vulnerable thing, music. I feel what we shouldn’t do, is attack this album like a pack of wolves, pulling a piece of bloody meat out of the hands of the makers to rip it to shreds.