why are people so oblivious to the fact that the citizenship process is not that easy?????? It can take up to a DECADE to become a legal citizen, people have to hire lawyers, people have to spends thousands of dollars, people have to go years without seeing their family in the country they came from and people have to memorize information about America I probably wouldn’t even memorize if I tried….like idk why dumbasses think it takes 5 minutes,, the system makes it hard for a reason
I’ve seen a lot of really sad posts about the IPRE crew dying early in the year, who dies and what a difference it makes, all tearjerkers of course. What if one year on the last day, Magnus was like “yknow I’ve always wanted to try something.”
While they’re running from the hunger and the ship is blasting away from the planet say, somewhere near the 20 year range, Magnus is nowhere to be found on the ship. They cleared the hunger and they know they’ll be at the next year turn soon, so everything will reset in about 60 seconds.
20 seconds left, Magnus runs into the control room holding a cactus with a pot and needle-like spines, picked up on the crazy plant-currency based world or something, and gets everyone’s attention. He says, “I’ve always wanted to try this,” and just fuckin,, grabs the whole damn thing, bare ass hands right into it.
Magnus jumps in pain- but it’s cut short as the whole crew resets. No needles in his hand and a black eye, he starts to giggle in triumph. The whole crew is just, staring at him in awe and weird fascination, Taako just snickers in the corner already knowing what the fuck is up.
“Magnus what the FUCK was that?” Lup asks with this crazy, breathy sort of laugh having just watched her friend do something so fuckin whack that she was impressed. He managed to find a way around his impulse control, learning how to dodge pain but still get his questions answered.
After that, it’s just new quest after new impulse at the end of every year. After Magnus in his second year of this decided to swallow a really big rock, Lup went next. She fired off a powerful fireball at her left hand, searing the flesh and leaving a bad smell only seconds later for it to reset in the new plane. She claims now she knows how it is on the receiving end, & that fools don’t play with that shit.
Eventually, the rest of the crew are doing some dumb shit while Davenport steers the ship away. Merle always wanted to be choked out by a vine (‘kinky’ Taako whispers to Lup), Lucretia wanted to stab her hand with a pen before she accidentally did it on a mission, Taako decided to cut his long hair off (how would a pixie look LuLu?) and Barry wanted to drink a flask full of acid. They get really disappointed if they die before the years end impulse-party, where they have to hold off on that thing that may/ may not kill them for another whole year.
Eventually, after having been through so many situations of either joy, annoyance, agony, terror, or happiness, they know exactly which form of death would be the least pleasant, as tailored by their own experiences and worst fears. Some of them are easy, Barry is afraid of drowning, Magnus is terrified of being pulled apart slowly, Lucretia is scared of dying alone in the dark. Merle doesn’t gain a ‘preference’, as he ends up dying at the hands of John most of the time. Taako is claustrophobic and Lup hates heights and falling deaths, though she gets over that when she gains her lich form. Davenport fears failure, but the whole team already knew that despite him never having done a single end of year impulse test.